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Jo Nesbo's Fart Powder Series: Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder, Bubble in the Bathtub, Who Cut the Cheese
by Mike Lowery Jo Nesbo Tara F. ChaceAn eBook boxed set of Jo Nesbo's Fart Powder series, featuring Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder, Bubble in the Bathtub, and Who Cut the Cheese?.In Dr. Proctor's Fart Powder, eleven-year-old Nilly moves to his new neighborhood in Oslo, Norway, and meets his neighbor, Doctor Proctor, an eccentric professor who invents wacky potions and powders--including an industrial strength fart powder that can send people to outer space. Bubble in the Bathtub features even more hijinks as Doctor Proctor has plans for a new invention. You see, he lost his true love years ago, when Juliette Margarine married an evil count. The good Doctor has never quite gotten over this, and he's going back to change the course of history. But when things go wrong, it's up to Nilly and Lisa to travel back in time to reunite the two lovebirds. In Who Cut the Cheese? Nilly, Lisa, and Doctor Proctor are too busy inventing things to watch TV, and everyone says they're missing out on the hot singing competition. But then Nilly and Lisa notice that their friends and family are acting really weird. And the only people acting weird...are the ones watching TV.
Joan in the Cone
by Billy SharffFor fans of Grumpy Monkey and The Pout-Pout Fish comes the heroic tale of one dog's journey to cope with life's inconveniences and all its . . . accessoriesJoan&’s life is wonderful, wild, and grand—running and playing as much as she can!Days full of fun, where she&’s never alone.And then . . . came . . . the cone.For Joan the dog, life is different now. With her cone, she gets trapped in the doggy door. And she doesn't command the same respect she once did at the dog park. Through funny challenges and mortifications, Joan reflects on her pre-cone glory days, including what led to her injury (let's just say, certain choices were made). But with time, Joan begins to see there is love and life and joy beyond the rim of the cone—and sometimes popcorn inside it too, because, it turns out, the cone makes a great snack bowl.This picture book is guaranteed to make kids and caregivers laugh, and see the trials of life—and dogs in cones—in a whole new way.&“Perfect for fans of Doug Salati's Hot Dog.&” —Booklist&“Dynamic, expressive, and funny.&” —Kirkus&“A perfect read-aloud for children, especially [to teach] resilience and acceptance.&” —SLJ
Jock Itch: The Misadventures of a Retired Jersey Chaser
by Rosa BlasiWith acerbic wit and raw honesty, actress Rosa Blasi—star of ABC’s The Whole Truth, Make It Or Break It and Hollywood’s The Grudge—shares the intimate and laugh-out-loud funny details of her misadventures in dating professional athletes, a bad habit that lasted from her first high school football player boyfriend until a decade of 'roid rage and pathological cheating led to her embrace a life of sports star sobriety. With echoes of Chelsea Handler’s on-her-back honesty; Karrine Steffans’ behind-the-scenes confessionals; the steamy, tell-all spice and humor of Jenna Jameson’s How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, and the sports world sensibilities of Jose Canseco’s Juiced, Rosa’s Jock Itch is an unforgettable, unmissable true tale of her lessons in life, love, and linebackers.
Jodie's Little Secrets
by Joanna WayneSECRET DADDYJodie Gahagen was content being a single mom to her twin baby boys. But her ordered life was shattered by a stalker whose threat sent her packing home-with her bags and more than a couple of secrets.She'd told the town her "husband" couldn't make it, that things were fine whenever she overreacted. Except there was no avoiding Ray Kostner-the one man she couldn't deny. He read her instinctively, knew she was hiding the truth...and that she still loved him. But Ray never guessed he was a father.Now the stalker didn't have a chance.
Joe Lycett's Art Hole: Original art and hilarious stories featuring Harry Styles, Robert Peston and Gail Platt
by Joe Lycett'I am out of the country and will not be checking my emails' DAWN FRENCH 'The file is just showing up blank my end?' GRAYSON PERRY 'Best book eva!!!' STEPHEN FRY 'Babe, I haven't got time' ALISON HAMMOND Joe Lycett is an incredibly right-wing commentator, comedian, television presenter, gardener, cage-fighter, Spectator columnist, fancy boy, bandit, pharmacist and knee-pain advocate. He is also a world-renowned portraitist, and some of the world's most influential and infamous people - Liz Truss, Eamonn Holmes, Mick Hucknall - have sat for him, keen to be immortalised through the medium of colour. Inside Joe Lycett's Art Hole you'll find his greatest artistic achievements and, for the first time, the salacious stories behind the portraits, some of them completely and utterly unbelievable. Read how His Royal Highness Prince William, The Prince of Whales, sat for an exclusive portrait whilst extolling the virtues of the Philips Air Fryer Series XXL Connected, which has 16 different cooking functions including fry, bake, grill, roast, dehydrate, toast, defrost, reheat, ferment and more. Enjoy a never-before-seen portrait of Priti Patel, done in a break from her hobby as one of the United Kingdom's greatest fly-tippers. And delight in the gob-smacking story of then-Deputy Prime Minister Therese Coffey averting an international incident at Cadbury World. Joe Lycett's Art Hole is brimming with surprises, including an astonishing array of British cultural titans, such as Harry Styles, Robert Peston, Nadine Dorries and Elaine Paige. Stunningly designed, it is sure to delight, fascinate and perhaps even inspire you to pick up a paint brush, insert yourself at the heart of contemporary British public life, and do some absolutely wank paintings of celebs.
Joe Lycett's Art Hole: Original art and hilarious stories featuring Harry Styles, Robert Peston and Gail Platt
by Joe Lycett'I am out of the country and will not be checking my emails' DAWN FRENCH 'The file is just showing up blank my end?' GRAYSON PERRY 'Best book eva!!!' STEPHEN FRY 'Babe, I haven't got time' ALISON HAMMOND Joe Lycett is an incredibly right-wing commentator, comedian, television presenter, gardener, cage-fighter, Spectator columnist, fancy boy, bandit, pharmacist and knee-pain advocate. He is also a world-renowned portraitist, and some of the world's most influential and infamous people - Liz Truss, Eamonn Holmes, Mick Hucknall - have sat for him, keen to be immortalised through the medium of colour. Inside Joe Lycett's Art Hole you'll find his greatest artistic achievements and, for the first time, the salacious stories behind the portraits, some of them completely and utterly unbelievable. Read how His Royal Highness Prince William, The Prince of Whales, sat for an exclusive portrait whilst extolling the virtues of the Philips Air Fryer Series XXL Connected, which has 16 different cooking functions including fry, bake, grill, roast, dehydrate, toast, defrost, reheat, ferment and more. Enjoy a never-before-seen portrait of Priti Patel, done in a break from her hobby as one of the United Kingdom's greatest fly-tippers. And delight in the gob-smacking story of then-Deputy Prime Minister Therese Coffey averting an international incident at Cadbury World. Joe Lycett's Art Hole is brimming with surprises, including an astonishing array of British cultural titans, such as Harry Styles, Robert Peston, Nadine Dorries and Elaine Paige. Stunningly designed, it is sure to delight, fascinate and perhaps even inspire you to pick up a paint brush, insert yourself at the heart of contemporary British public life, and do some absolutely wank paintings of celebs.
Joe Nuthin's Guide to Life: 'A real joy to read' –Hazel Prior
by Helen Fisher&‘Extraordinary&’ Heidi Swain&‘Life-affirming&’ Hazel Prior&‘Big-hearted&’ Caroline Day&‘Beautiful&’ Julietta Henderson Joe loves predictability. But his life is about to become a surprising adventure. Joe-Nathan likes the two parts of his name separate, just like his dinner and dessert. Mean Charlie at work sometimes calls him Joe-Nuthin. But Joe is far from nothing. Joe is a good friend, he&’s good at his job, good at making things and good at following the rules, and he&’s learning how to do lots of things by himself. Joe&’s mother knows there are a million things in life he isn&’t prepared for. While she helps guide him every day, she&’s also writing notebooks full of advice about the things she hasn&’t told Joe yet, things he might forget and answers to questions he hasn&’t yet asked. Following her wisdom – applying it in his own unique way – this next part of Joe&’s life is more of a surprise than he expects. Because he&’s about to learn that remarkable things can happen when you leave your comfort zone, and that you can do even the hardest things with a little help from your friends. Praise for Helen Fisher &‘I really enjoyed Space Hopper. It&’s such an unusual, intriguing novel&’ Marian Keyes &‘A magical story of love, loss and the ways that grief changes us forever&’ Margo Rabb &‘A lovely, deeply moving story of loss and love and memory made real&’ Diana Gabaldon &‘This story will bounce joyfully through your heart, leaving you with a fresh belief in second chances&’ Anstey Harris &‘Tender, mesmerising and original&’ Lucy Clarke &‘Charming and powerful&’ Marjan Kamali &‘Beautiful&’ Stylist &‘An unputdownable debut from a writer to watch&’ Bustle &‘A quirky story, full of love and laughter&’ Best &‘Will draw you in and keep you hooked until the last page&’ Heat &‘Magical&’ Platinum &‘Amazing&’ Daily Mail
Joe Sherlock, Kid Detective, Case #000001: The Haunted Toolshed
by Dave KeaneWhy are cakes vanishing into thin air? How can a mailbox disappear without a trace? When did something evil move into Mr. Asher's toolshed? Strange and unexplained things are happening on Baker Street after dark, and Joe Sherlock must come face-to-face with the things that go bump in the night. Even though a cold tingle of terror gallops down his spine like a herd of wild gophers, Joe is determined to solve the case -- and have his bundt cake, too.
Joe Sherlock, Kid Detective, Case #000002: The Neighborhood Stink
by Dave KeaneThe mystery is underfoot... On a beautiful, carpetlike lawn in a gated yard sit mysterious and smelly piles of dog poop. Mrs. Fefferland puts Joe Sherlock on the case to sniff out the culprit. But even Sherlock Holmes never encountered a case as baffling or as stomach-churning as this one. Most of the evidence is right under Joe's nose, but danger is never far behind!
Joe Sherlock, Kid Detective, Case #000003: The Missing Monkey-Eye Diamond
by Dave KeaneWhy has a ring with a diamond the size of a monkey's eye suddenly disappeared? Will it be found before the wedding party turns into an angry mob? Most importantly, can somebody get Joe Sherlock out of the bath in time? Armed with only a box of Barf Blockers, a clip-on tie, and his extraordinary sleuthing skills, Joe Sherlock is in a race against time--and a very sensitive stomach. Baskerville's only kid detective will have his brain squeezed in the pressure cooker of his neighbor's mixed-up wedding day. Joe Sherlock is ready for the challenge . . . as long as nobody offers him an egg salad sandwich.
Joe Sherlock, Kid Detective, Case #000004: The Headless Mummy
by Dave KeaneWhy would someone steal a 4,000-year-old mummy's head? Is this the work of shadowy grave robbers or some weird ancient curse? Could the missing noggin be stuck in Mr. Klopper's gigantic, crumb-filled beard? Will a flaming torch be enough to battle Joe Sherlock's fear of the dark? The man knocking at the door of 221 Baker Street has lost his head and is out of his mind with worry! A major scandal is brewing at the museum, and only Joe Sherlock can save Mr. Klopper from certain ruin. In this hushed underworld of eerie tombs, pickled kings, and water-filled surgical gloves, Joe finds his creepiest, most wrinkled-up case ever!
Joe Sherlock, Kid Detective, Case #000005: The Art Teacher's Vanishing Mast
by Dave KeaneHow does a valuable painting vanish from a museum wall without a trace? Can you trust a goofball kid detective to recover priceless artwork? Why does Joe Sherlock's shirt stink worse than a dirty diaper? Ride along as Sherlock uncovers shocking secrets that not only will echo down the halls of Baskerville Elementary School but just might bring City Hall crashing down in a scandal of snot-blowing proportions.
Joe quiere jugar: Joe on the Go (Spanish edition) (Green Light Readers Level 1 #0)
by Peggy Perry AndersonIt’s the Frog family reunion, and all of Joe’s relatives are together. Everyone’s having fun except Joe. With so many cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents around, you’d think somebody would play with Joe, but everyone says he’s too big, too small, too fast, or too slow. No matter where Joe turns, all he hears is “no” . . . until a very special guest arrives! This Spanish language edition is perfect for beginning readers and their families to enjoy together. Bright illustrations feature Joe’s mishaps with all kinds of things that go, go, go!
Joe's Liver
by Paul Di FilippoA young boy journeys into America&’s abridged heart. &“Di Filippo is the spin doctor of SF—and it&’s a powerful medicine he brews&” (Brian Aldiss). An orphaned boy in the Caribbean named Readers Digest (after the magazine) but referred to mainly as &“Ardy&” is deeply inspired by his readings of the stories that appear in his namesake magazine and conceives of a plan to make a pilgrimage to the Digest HQ in Pleasantville, New York. He embarks on an odyssey to what he envisions as the most important symbolic beacon of the wonderfulness that is America. A simple trip turns complicated and Ardy meets an endless stream of very odd and unusual characters as his journey progresses to an unexpected finish.
Joey Pigza Loses Control: Grades 4-6 (Joey Pigza #2)
by Jack GantosThe sequel to Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key, a National Book Award Finalist.When Joey Pigza meets his dad for the first time in years, he meets a grown-up version of his old out-of-control self. Carter Pigza is as wired as Joey used to be -- before his stint in special ed, and before he got his new meds. Joey's mom reluctantly agrees that he can stay with his dad for a summer visit, which sends Joey racing with sky-high hopes that he and Carter can finally get to know each other. But as the weeks whirl by, Carter has bigger plans in mind. He decides that just as he has pulled himself up by his own bootstraps, Joey can do the same and become as normal as any kid, without the help of a doctor's prescription. Carter believes Joey can do it and Joey wants to believe him more than anything in the world.Here is the continuation of the acclaimed Joey Pigza story, affirming not only that Joey Pigza is a true original but that it runs in the family.Joey Pigza Loses Control is a 2000 New York Times Book Review Notable Children's Book of the Year and a 2001 Newbery Honor Book.
Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key (Joey Pigza #1)
by Jack Gantos"They say I'm wired bad, or wired sad, but there's no doubt about it -- I'm wired."Joey Pigza's got heart, he's got a mom who loves him, and he's got "dud meds," which is what he calls the Ritalin pills that are supposed to even out his wild mood swings. Sometimes Joey makes bad choices. He learns the hard way that he shouldn't stick his finger in the pencil sharpener, or swallow his house key, or run with scissors. Joey ends up bouncing around a lot - and eventually he bounces himself all the way downown, into the district special-ed program, which could be the end of the line. As Joey knows, if he keeps making bad choices, he could just fall between the cracks for good. But he is determined not to let that happen.In this antic yet poignant new novel, Jack Gantos has perfect pitch in capturing the humor, the off-the-wall intensity, and the serious challenges that life presents to a kid dealing with hyper-activity and related disorders.Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key is a 1998 National Book Award Finalist for Young People's Literature.
Joey and Johnny, the Ninjas: Epic Fail (Joey And Johnny, The Ninjas Ser. #2)
by Kevin Serwacki Chris PallaceThat’s so ninja! Epic Fail is the second book in the insanely funny and action-packed Joey and Johnny, the Ninjas series about two best friends and ninjas-in-training—perfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Origami Yoda.Things are getting back to normal at Kickfoot Academy after its Battle Royal with rival ninja school Red Moon Clan—for the most part. Joey and Johnny soon discover that their friend Peoni is secretly planning a tea ceremony—one of the most dangerous events a ninja can attend—to appease the spirits of ninjas past. Sounds like the perfect mission for Joey and Johnny!Eager to put their ninja skills to the test and set off on a new quest, the boys invite themselves along on Peoni’s journey to hunt down important items for the party. But it quickly becomes clear that there is a lot more in store for these young ninjas than tea. . . .
Joey and Johnny, the Ninjas: Get Mooned
by Kevin Serwacki Chris PallaceJoey and Johnny, the Ninjas: Get Mooned is the first book in a clever, insanely funny, and highly entertaining illustrated series about two best friends and ninjas-in-training, perfect for fans of the Origami Yoda series.Joey and Johnny are best friends, but they could not be more different. Joey follows all the rules. Johnny doesn't know what rules are. Joey is strategic. Johnny leaves everything up to chance. Joey is serious. Johnny is . . . well, he carries a clown hammer and wears a dooly-bopper on his head. But there is something these two boys have in common: They are ninjas. And they're both students at Kick Foot Academy, the premier ninja school in Lemming Falls.But Kick Foot Academy's reputation is about to be put to the test. Their rivals at Red Moon Clan have mysteriously come into possession of state-of-the-art weapons--something that is totally not ninja. And now they have challenged Kick Foot Academy to a Test of Three, culminating in an epic Battle Royal. The outcome will determine which ninja school reigns supreme . . . and which shuts down forever.
Jogger's Big Adventure (Early Reader Ser.)
by Francesca Simon Emily BolamEarly Readers are stepping stones from picture books to reading books. A blue Early Reader is perfect for sharing and reading together. A red Early Reader is the next step on your reading journey.Jogger the hamster is on an adventure, nibbling on books and climbing on chairs. But mean old Sour Puss is about - will Jogger make it back to his cage in time?
Jogger's Big Adventure (Early Reader)
by Francesca SimonEarly Readers are stepping stones from picture books to reading books. A blue Early Reader is perfect for sharing and reading together. A red Early Reader is the next step on your reading journey.Jogger the hamster is on an adventure, nibbling on books and climbing on chairs. But mean old Sour Puss is about - will Jogger make it back to his cage in time?
Jogos de Sociedade
by Alessandra Cesana Guilherme BorgesOs Paige são um casal norteamericano que vivem em Provence. Viajam para Paris, onde mora sua fútil filha Alexia, os Dunckan e a sedutora, dona de um cassino, Lhéa Mavelle. Lá, se encontrarão também com o atraente e cínico jogador Jake Wynner e viverão intensas emoções envolvendo enganos, infidelidades e chantagens que desestabilizarão as relações entre as pessoas de seu meio. Com este novo romance, a escritora Alessandra Cesana nos mergulha no mundo da alta sociedade, repleto de situações obscuras, mas as tornando muito agradáveis. Sua mudança total de estilo é novo e atual, ao mesmo tempo que é surpreendente e interessante.
Jogos de Vingança
by Sky CorganCaleb Ryan foi o único homem que amei. O único cara que até mesmo reconheceu minha existência quando estávamos juntos no ensino médio. Mas então ele me traiu ... Passei anos tentando superar o que ele havia feito comigo, aperfeiçoando meu ódio até estar afiado como uma faca. Agora eu finalmente tenho a chance de me vingar. Ele nem vai ver isso chegando. Eu pretendo me livrar dele, não importa o que for preciso. O único problema é que preciso dele para atingir outro objetivo. Quer eu goste ou não, vamos ter que trabalhar juntos. Mas ainda pretendo fazê-lo pagar.
Johannes Cabal the Detective
by Jonathan L. HowardJohannes Cabal, necromancer of some little infamy, returns in this riotously clever and terrifically twisted tale of murder and international intrigue. In this genre-twisting novel, infamous necromancer Johannes Cabal, after beating the Devil and being reunited with his soul, leads us on another raucous journey in a little-known corner of the world. This time he's on the run from the local government. Stealing the identity of a minor bureaucrat, Cabal takes passage on the Princess Hortense, a passenger aeroship that is leaving the country. The deception seems perfect, and Cabal looks forward to a quiet trip and a clean escape, until he comes face-to-face with Leonie Barrow, an enemy from the old days who could blow his cover. But when a fellow passenger throws himself to his death, or at least that is how it appears, Cabal begins to investigate out of curiosity. His minor efforts result in a vicious attempt on his own life--and then the gloves come off. Cabal and Leonie--the only woman to ever match wits with him--reluctantly team up to discover the murderer. Before they are done, there will be more narrow escapes, involving sword fighting and newfangled flying machines. There will be massive destruction, not to mention resurrected dead . . . Steampunk meets the classic Sherlockian mystery in this rip-roaring adventure where anything could happen . . . and does.From the Hardcover edition.
Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Johannes Cabal Series #1)
by Jonathan L. HowardThe page-turning first novel in the charmingly gothic, fiendishly funny Faustian series about a brilliant scientist who makes a deal with the Devil, twice. • "The spot-on work of a talented writer." —The Denver Post Johannes Cabal sold his soul years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. Now he wants it back. Amused and slightly bored, Satan proposes a little wager: Johannes has to persuade one hundred people to sign over their souls or he will be damned forever. This time for real. Accepting the bargain, Jonathan is given one calendar year and a traveling carnival to complete his task. With little time to waste, Johannes raises a motley crew from the dead and enlists his brother, Horst, a charismatic vampire to help him run his nefarious road show, resulting in mayhem at every turn.
John Henry and Paul Bunyan Play Baseball
by Wyatt BlassingamePaul Bunyan was a mighty fine hitter, but no one would throw to him. John Henry was a fabulous pitcher, but no one would catch for him. So, what were the baseball managers to do? Let them play each other, of course! Who wins, you want to know? Ah, you must read the book! I can tell you this, though; I bet you've never, ever seen a game like this one! Other books by Wyatt Blassingame are available in this library.