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John Lennon In His Own Write
by John Lennon Robert Freeman Yoko OnoAbout The AwfulI was bored on the 9th of Octover 1940 when, I believe, the Nasties were still booming us led by Madolf Heatlump (who only had one). Anyway they didn't get me. I attended to varicous schools in Liddypol. And still didn't pass -- much to my Aunties supplies. As a member of the most publified Beatles my (P, G, and R's) records might seem funnier to some of you than this book, but as far as I'm conceived this correction of short writty is the most wonderfoul larf I've every ready. God help and breed you all.
Johnny Carson
by Henry BushkinA revealing and incisive account of the King of Late Night at the height of his fame and power, by his lawyer, wingman, fixer, and closest confidantFrom 1962 until 1992, Johnny Carson hosted The Tonight Show and permeated the American consciousness. In the '70s and '80s he was the country's highest-paid entertainer and its most enigmatic. He was notoriously inscrutable, as mercurial (and sometimes cruel) off-camera as he was charming and hilarious onstage. During the apex of his reign, Carson's longtime lawyer and best friend was Henry Bushkin, who now shows us Johnny Carson with a breathtaking clarity and depth that nobody else could.From the moment in 1970 when Carson hired Bushkin (who was just twenty-seven) until the moment eighteen years later when they parted ways, the author witnessed and often took part in a string of escapades that still retain their power to surprise and fascinate us. One of Bushkin's first assignments was helping Carson break into a posh Manhattan apartment to gather evidence of his wife's infidelity. More than once, Bushkin helped his client avoid entanglements with the mob. Of course, Carson's adventures weren't all so sordid. He hosted Ronald Reagan's inaugural concert as a favor to the new president, and he prevented a drunken Dean Martin from appearing onstage that evening. Carson socialized with Frank Sinatra, Jack Lemmon, Jimmy Stewart, Kirk Douglas, and dozens of other boldface names who populate this atmospheric and propulsive chronicle of the King of Late Night and his world.But this memoir isn't just dishy. It is a tautly rendered and remarkably nuanced portrait of Carson, revealing not only how he truly was, but why. Bushkin explains why Carson, a voracious (and very talented) womanizer, felt he always had to be married; why he loathed small talk even as he excelled at it; why he couldn't visit his son in the hospital and wouldn't attend his mother's funeral; and much more. Bushkin's account is by turns shocking, poignant, and uproarious -- written with a novelist's eye for detail, a screenwriter's ear for dialogue, and a knack for comic timing that Carson himself would relish. Johnny Carson unveils not only the hidden Carson, but also the raucous, star-studded world he ruled.
Johnny Golden Boogers
by A. P. HernándezJohn is well beloved by his neighbors. And that's because of his boogers. They just so happen to be made of gold! That is why everyone in his town is rich and nobody works. But one fateful day, they are in for a big surprise. Come with us on this journey, as we unravel the tale within!
Johnny Hangtime
by Dan GutmanIt's a bird, It's a plane--no, It's Johnny Hangtime! Jumping off the Empire State Building, fighting on the wing of a biplane, and parachuting onto the back of a horse are all in a day's work for 13-year-old Johnny Thyme, a stunt kid known in the movie business as Johnny Hangtime. But Johnny's phenomenal feats are a movie industry secret. Ricky Corvette, the superstar teen for whom Johnny doubles, wants his fans to think he does his own stunts. Johnny's devoted to repeating the career of his legendary stuntman father, but what's he going to do when his favorite director asks him to perform the super-dangerous stunt that killed his father? Will following in his daredevil; dad's footsteps take him over the edge?
Johnny One-Eye: A Tale of the American Revolution
by Jerome Charyn"A rollicking tale."--Stacy Schiff, New York Times Book Review, Editors' Choice Johnny One-Eye is bringing about the rediscovery of one of the most "singular and remarkable [careers] in American literature" (Jonathan Yardley, Washington Post Book World). In this picaresque tour de force that reanimates Revolutionary Manhattan through the story of double agent John Stocking, the bastard son of a whorehouse madam and possibly George Washington, Jerome Charyn has given us one of the most memorable historical novels in years. As Johnny seeks to unlock the mystery of his birth and grapples with his allegiances, he falls in love with Clara, a gorgeous, green-eyed octoroon, the most coveted harlot of Gertrude's house. The wild parade of characters he encounters includes Benedict Arnold, the Howe brothers, "Sir Billy" and "Black Dick," and a manipulative Alexander Hamilton.Not since John Barth's The Sotweed Factor and Gore Vidal's Burr has a novel so dramatically re-created America's historical beginnings. Reading group guide included.
Johnny and the Bomb
by Terry PratchettTwelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell has a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This has never been more true than when he finds himself in his hometown on May 21, 1941, over forty years before his birth!An accidental time traveler, Johnny knows his history. He knows England is at war, and he knows that on this day German bombs will fall on the town. It happened. It's history. And as Johnny and his friends quickly discover, tampering with history can have unpredictable--and drastic--effects on the future. But letting history take its course means letting people die. What if Johnny warns someone and changes history? What will happen to the future? If Johnny uses his knowledge to save innocent lives by being in the right place at the right time, is he doing the right thing? Mixing nail-biting suspense with outrageous humor, Terry Pratchett explores a classic time-travel paradox in Johnny Maxwell's third adventure.
Johnny and the Dead (Johnny Maxwell Trilogy #2)
by Terry PratchettSir Terry Pratchett, beloved and bestselling author of the Discworld fantasy series, explores the bonds between the living and the dead and proves that it's never too late to have the time of your life—even if it is your afterlife!Johnny Maxwell's new friends do not appreciate the term "ghosts," but they are, well, dead.The town council wants to sell the cemetery, and its inhabitants aren't about to take that lying down! Johnny is the only one who can see them, and and the previously alive need his help to save their home and their history. Johnny didn't mean to become the voice for the lifeless, but if he doesn't speak up, who will?Read more of Johnny Maxwell's adventures in Only You Can Save Mankind and Johnny and the Bomb!
Join the Club, Maggie Diaz
by Nina MorenoThis humorous and heartfelt middle-grade debut by Nina Moreno with illustrations by Courtney Lovett is perfect for fans of Celia C. Pérez and Terri Libenson, and any reader still deciding what their passion in life is."MAYBE I'M GOOD AT SOMETHING I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT YET."Everyone in Maggie Diaz's life seems to be finding their true passion. The one thing that defines them as a person. Her best friends Zoey and Julian are too busy to hang out after school thanks to band and comics club. Mom is finishing her last semester in college. And Maggie’s perfect older sister Caro is perfectly-perfect at sports and tutoring.So Maggie cooks up a plan to join every club she can! But trying to fit in with type-A future leaders, gardening whizzes, and the fearless kids in woodshop is intimidating, exhausting, and seriously confusing. And juggling homework, friends, and all of her after-school activities is way harder than it looks.Seventh grade is all about figuring out who you are -- good thing Maggie Diaz has the perfect plan!
Joint Custody
by Lauren Baratz-Logsted Jackie LogstedA mischievous dog takes matters into his own paws when his beloved owners split up in this offbeat romantic comedy. The Man has custody Monday through Friday, The Woman has custody on the weekends. But that's not enough for Gatz, who will do anything to bring them back together—even if it kills him. And it almost did. Of course he knows chocolate is bad for him, especially two whole pounds of it, but it&’s the risk he&’s willing to take to get them back together. Gatz knows that The Man and The Woman are perfect for each other—how can they not see it too? She is an editor and he&’s a writer. She&’s a social butterfly and he&’s as introverted as a guy can get. After the misguided death-by-chocolate attempt, Gatz thinks he still has time. But when New Man—so handsome, so nice, so perfect—enters The Woman's life, he realizes he&’ll need to step up his game. And you know what they say: drastic times call for drastic doggy measures. A laugh-out-loud romance that will touch your heart and make you want a furry friend of your own.
Joke & Riddle Ballyhoo
by Jacqueline HorsfallBeastie bloopers, fiddle-de-riddles, creepy critters, tongue twisters, and so much more! Filled with hundreds of jokes of every type, this hilarious compilation is sure to tickle the funny bone and have kids screaming with laughter for hours on end. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. What should you wear when you go to the beach with a monster? Sunscream. What did the skeleton say to the doctor? "This will cost me an arm and a leg!" Give this riddle a try: I have many teeth but cant chew. What am I? (A comb.) How fast do happy bikers ride? Ten smiles per hour--and there are even more smiles than that in here.
Joke-A-Palooza (Almost Naked Animals)
by Howie Dewin<P>Get in on the Almost Naked Animals fun with this joke book <P>Get ready to get silly! Juvenile humor abounds in this 64-page joke book based on the hit cartoon. Includes black-and-white illustrations throughout.
Joke-Performance in Africa: Mode, Media and Meaning (Routledge Contemporary Africa)
by Ignatius ChukwumahJokes have always been part of African culture, but never have they been so blended with the strains and gains of the contemporary African world as today. Joke-Performance in Africa describes and analyses the diverse aesthetics, forms, and media of jokes and their performance and shows how African jokes embody the anxieties of the time and space in which they are enacted. The book considers the pervasive phenomenon of jokes and their performance across Africa in such forms as local jests, street jokes, cartoons, mchongoano, ewhe-eje, stand-up comedy, internet sex jokes, and ‘comicast’ transmitted via modern technology media such as the TV, CDs, DVDs, the internet platforms of YouTube, Facebook, and other social arenas, as well as live performances. Countries represented are Egypt, Kenya, Malawi, Morocco, Nigeria, and Zambia, covering the North, West, East and Southern Africa. The book explores the description of the joke form from various perspectives, ranging from critical discourse analysis, interviews, humour theories, psychoanalysis, the postcolony and technauriture, to the interactive dramaturgy of joke-performances, irrespective of media and modes of performance. Containing insightful contributions from leading African scholars, the book acquaints readers with detailed descriptions of the diverse aesthetics of contemporary African jokes, thereby contributing to the current understanding of joke-performance in Africa. It will appeal to students and scholars of African studies, popular culture, theatre, performance studies and literary studies.
Jokelopedia: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever!
by Ilana Weitzman Eva BlankIt&’s the mother of all kids&’ joke books—an all-encompassing, gut-busting, and bestselling collection of more than 1,700 jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns for all occasions. Here are 61 elephant jokes, including: What did the elephant say when he walked into the post office? / Ouch! Dozens of knock-knock jokes, like: Knock-knock. / Who&’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked. That&’s why I knocked! Plus teacher jokes and creature jokes, doctor jokes and robber jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes, and name-game jokes: What do you call a man in a tiger&’s cage? / Claude. And for all aspiring comedians, there are joke-telling pointers and tips, funny facts, and spotlights on comic TV shows, books, and actors, from Steve Carell to Tina Fey to SpongeBob Squarepants. It&’s the ultimate gift for the incurable jokester.
Jokes My Father Never Taught Me: Life, Love, and Loss with Richard Pryor
by Cathy Crimmins Rain PryorThe loving, witty, yet brutally honest memoir of the daughter of comedy legend Richard Pryor.Rain Pryor was born in the idealistic, free-love 1960s. Her mother was a Jewish go-go dancer who wanted a tribe of rainbow children. Rain’s father was Richard Pryor, perhaps the most compelling and brilliant comedian of his era, a man whose self-destructiveness was as legendary as his groundbreaking comedy.Jokes My Father Never Taught Me is an intimate, harrowing, poignant, and often hilarious memoir that explores the divided heritage and the forces that shaped a wildly schizophrenic childhood. It is the story of a girl who grew up adoring her father even as she feared him—and feared for him, as his drug problems got worse. Both lovingly told and painfully frank, it is an unprecedented look at the life of a comedy icon, told by a daughter who both understood the genius and knew the tortured man within.Praise for Jokes My Father Never Taught Me“Rain Pryor pulls no punches . . . Using the same profanity-laced wit her father perfected, she unspools darkly comic stories . . . but never devolves into self-pity or bitterness.” —Entertainment Weekly“Vital, entertaining and appalling, Pryor has fleshed out a familiar dysfunctional family refrain—”It was a lot easier to love him if you didn’t know him”—with bravery and wit.” —Publishers Weekly
Jokes and Riddles
by Hinkler BooksSplit your sides laughing and entertain your family and friends for hours with this hilarious book of riddles! Full of comical illustrations by Glen Singleton, Jokes and Riddles will keep you laughing for hours.
Jokes and the Unconscious: A Graphic Novel
by Daphne GottliebHeard the one about the dying father? In this savagely brilliant graphic novel by slam poet Daphne Gottlieb (Final Girl) and Hothead Paisan creator Diane DiMassa, a 19-year-old woman named Sasha loses her father to cancer and takes a job in the hospital where he had worked as a doctor. Moving from room to room with her clipboard of forms, Sasha encounters the insane, the suicidal, and the brave -- then returns to her office to look up all her friends' and enemies' medical records. Taking its title from Freud's Jokes and their Relation to the Unconscious, Gottlieb and DiMassa's first collaboration is both moving and darkly funny. Where comedy meets chemo, where mirth meets mortality, Jokes and the Unconscious explores the murky terrain of grief -- a shadowland of memory, sexual escape, and morbid snickering.<P><P> Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. To explore further access options with us, please contact us through the Book Quality link on the right sidebar. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these.
Jokes for Minecrafters: Booby Traps, Bombs, Boo-Boos, and More (Jokes for Minecrafters #1)
by Michele Hollow Jordon Hollow Steven HollowJokes for Minecrafters: Booby Traps, Bombs, Boo-Boos, and More is the first book in the new Jokes for Minecrafters series, which celebrate the humor in Minecraft from skeleton mobs to zombie pigmen. Be prepared to laugh! No ghast or blaze is safe from being the punch line of these jokes! Inside you will find hilarious jokes like: Why did the slime stay home? He had no place to goo! How did Steve know that the skeleton was lying to him? He could see right through him. For kids ages 5 and up, this is the perfect book for at home, at school, or really anywhere! You’ll love telling these silly jokes to your friends and family! As a bonus, you’ll find illustrations throughout for even more laughs!
Jokes for Mom: More than 300 Eye-Rolling Wisecracks and Snarky Jokes about Husbands, Kids, the Absolute Need for Wine, and More
by Ms. Jo KingLearn how to be the funniest, most wisecracking mom around! Mom, does your family drive you crazy? Do you enjoy complaining to your girlfriends about your husband and your in-laws? Do you need some inspiration for how to respond to your kids’ whining and begging? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you! This comedic collection of witty one-liners and sarcastic retorts is for any mom in need of a good laugh and some appreciation for all of her hard work. Included are jokes such as: Mother (noun): One person who does the work of twenty. For free.Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.Daughter: Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? Mom: I don’t know, dear, you’ll have to ask your grandma.There’s a legend that if you go take a shower and scream “MOM!” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot!Jokes for Moms will leave you laughing out loud and rolling your eyes in agreement before you can even say, “Because I said so!”
Jokes for all the Family
by Harry HiltonDid you hear about the schoolboy who put clean socks on every day? By Friday he couldn't get his shoes on. Prepare to have your ribs tickled, your funny bone waggled and your leg pulled with this bumper compendium of jokes for all the family. With everything from ludicrous lions to preposterous pirates, there are laughs aplenty for everyone!
Jokes for all the Family
by Harry HiltonDid you hear about the schoolboy who put clean socks on every day? By Friday he couldn't get his shoes on. Prepare to have your ribs tickled, your funny bone waggled and your leg pulled with this bumper compendium of jokes for all the family. With everything from ludicrous lions to preposterous pirates, there are laughs aplenty for everyone!
Jokes to Offend Men
by Allison Kelley Danielle Kraese Kate Herzlin Ysabel YatesA man walks into a bar. It&’s a low one, so he gets a promotion within his first six months on the job. Four comedy writers transform classic joke setups into sharp commentary about the everyday and structural sexism that pervades all facets of life. Jokes to Offend Men arms readers with humorous quips to shut down workplace underminers, condescending uncles, and dismissive doctors, or to share with their exhausted friends at the end of a long day. A cutting, cathartic spin on the old-fashioned joke book, Jokes to Offend Men is a refreshing reclamation of a tired form for anyone who's ever been told to "lighten up, it's just a joke!"
Jokes to Tell
by Hinkler BooksEntertain your family and friends for hours with this hilarious book of jokes. With comical illustrations by Glen Singleton, Jokes to Tell covers everything from riddles and knock knock jokes to silly book titles and dinosaur jokes. You will laugh until you cry!
Jolly Foul Play: Murder Is Bad Manners; Poison Is Not Polite; First Class Murder; Jolly Foul Play; Mistletoe And Murder (A Murder Most Unladylike Mystery)
by Robin Stevens&“Steven&’s storytelling and suspense-building are top-notch.&” —School Library Journal &“Readers…will find themselves stretching their powers of deduction.&” —Booklist After a student turns up murdered on Bonfire Night, Hazel and Daisy find themselves entrenched in another mystery in this delightfully charming fourth novel of the Wells & Wong Mystery series.Daisy Wells and Hazel Wong have returned to Deepdean School for Girls for a new school term, but nothing is the same. There&’s a new Head Girl, Elizabeth Hurst, and a team of Prefects—and these bullying Big Girls are certainly not good eggs. Then, after the fireworks display on Bonfire Night, Elizabeth is found—murdered. Many girls at Deepdean had reason to hate Elizabeth, but who could have committed such foul play? Is the murder linked to the secrets and scandals, scribbled on the scraps of paper that are suddenly appearing all over the school? And with their own friendship falling to pieces, will Daisy and Hazel be able to solve this mystery before suspicions tear the student body apart?
Jonathan Livingston Trafalgar Square Pigeon
by David LinesContinuing the tradition of parodying all things sacred, the author of The XXXX Files and PMT takes up the reigns of satire by rewriting the essential 1970s hippy handbook Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Instead of a seagull for a hero, this updated classic features a bloated, cynical, grungy pigeon, who looks not to the skies for inspiration, but to the London Underground. Cutting corners wherever possible and living the life of a fully fledged MTV-generation feral pigeon, Jonathan's rite of passage is more a celebration of modern-day teenage apathy set against a backdrop of 90s Pop Culture and Victorian underground architecture than a voyage of delicious self-discovery. Matching the original page-for-page in content and layout, Jonathan Livingston Trafalgar Square Pigeon is a modern-day morality tale that will, by its very nature, attract plenty of attention whilst ever so gently ruffling a few feathers along the way.