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Kicking Up Dirt: A True Story of Determination, Deafness, and Daring
by Ashley Fiolek Caroline RyderAt nineteen, Ashley Fiolek is already the top female competitor in a tough men's sport: motocross, a form of off-road motorcycle racing that is one of the most competitive and dangerous extreme sports in the world. Since going pro in late 2007, Fiolek has taken gold at the X Games, won the American Women's Motocross Championship twice, and become the first woman in American motocross history to be signed to a factory team—the highest echelon of industry backing. But Fiolek's rise has not come without obstacles. Fiolek was born profoundly deaf, a handicap that makes everyday life difficult—and competition on the track downright dangerous. Originally misdiagnosed as "mildly retarded," she was a painfully shy and introverted child—until her parents introduced her to the world of dirt bikes, which helped her escape the silence in her head and connect with others who shared her passion. She began racing at seven, and as her successes grew through hard work and no small number of broken bones, so did her confidence.Fiolek has never believed her disability should stand in the way of her dreams. Nor has she allowed her gender to limit her career—motocross historically has been a men's sport, but with the love and support of her dirt-obsessed family, including her "Grandpa Motorcycle," her little brother, Kicker, and her dogs, Turbo and Rocco, Ashley has emerged as one of the sport's most talked-about stars, changing the way the entire industry views women. Armed with her extraordinary talent, contagious grin, and deep faith in God, Fiolek continues to venture into unknown territory, relentlessly pushing herself—and women's motocross—to ever-greater heights.Kicking Up Dirt is a remarkable, inspiring tale of a young woman's courage and determination to succeed in the face of truly challenging obstacles.
Kicking and Screaming: A Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts
by Melanie D GibsonMelanie Gibson was an independent woman with a good job, multiple college degrees, and a condo in the trendy part of town. She also had a few mental illnesses, a minor substance abuse problem, and rotten relationship skills. She was a high-functioning crazy who needed a good kick in the pants, literally and metaphorically.In early 2013, as a last desperate means to save her sanity, Melanie turned to a nearly forgotten childhood activity: the Korean martial art of taekwondo. As if the universe were listening, she discovered her West Texas childhood taekwondo instructors’ Grandmaster operated a taekwondo school a few miles from her home in Fort Worth, Texas—and she decided to start her training over as a white belt.In taekwondo, Melanie felt like she had a fresh start in more ways than one. She found an inner peace she’d never known before, a sense of community, a newfound confidence, and a positive outlook on life. The kicking and screaming she was doing in class quieted the long-term kicking and screaming in her mind. Funny and frank, Kicking and Screaming: A Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts is the story of Melanie’s life-changing journey from troubled, lost soul to confident taekwondo black belt.
Kid Amazing vs. the Blob
by Josh SchneiderKid Amazing’s secret base is equipped with every gadget a superhero needs to defeat evil, but there is one villain who remains elusive—the Blob (a.k.a. his baby sister). Will Kid discover the superpower needed to defeat her before the entire city succumbs to her stink and slime? From Theodor Seuss Geisel Award winner Josh Schneider, this reassuring take on a common childhood issue proves that laughter can defuse even the most epic sibling rivalries.
Kid Christmas Rides Again
by Eric ArvinThese are the epic adventures of Kid Christmas! The unthinkable has happened: the Jolly Old Elf himself keeled over, and the Committee to Oversee the Christening of Kringle (COCK) had to find a replacement. Enter the Kid: a lot more fit, a little less clumsy, and quite a sight in that tight red uniform. His mission to deliver Christmas around the world is threatened as he fights the evil Snow Globes, but all is not lost as he escapes traps, finds love (and more love, and more love) with Johnny Longjohns, and stops at a disco on his quest to reclaim his magic sled, the Claus 3000. Hold on tight: this humorous romp may have you spitting your eggnog!This novella includes the previously released short story Kid Christmas Meets Snow Globes and the original three graphic images by Absolutbleu plus 10,000 words of new erotic adventures and 4 new Absolutbleu illustrations.LOL! No wait, that isn't good enough. ROFLMAO! Yeah that's better. This story is a level of humor that is truly brilliant. Laugh out loud, spray your drink all over, spit through your nose brilliant. The story is hilarious and is filled with every euphemism you can possibly imagine. This is a racy adult tale filled with dirty sexual innuendos and it's rauncy and fun and a laugh riot. I loved the humor and am convinced that Eric is the kind of guy you want to have around when you need a good laugh. ...If you need a good laugh, grab this story for a quick read that will have you rolling on the floor and laughing out loud. - Enigmatically Emily
Kid Swap
by Michael Lawrence Ellis NadlerJiggy is horrified to hear that his parents have signed him up for a reality TV show called Kid Swap. He is to move in with another family and everything he does will be filmed. Sadly, most of what he does while the camera is pointing his way is not the kind of thing he wants to share with millions of total strangers. And then, on top of it all, there's his bizarre skin problem...Find out how Jiggy copes with TV fame andflick the pages for a disgusting dinner!
Kid Swap (Jiggy McCue #10)
by Michael LawrenceJiggy is horrified to hear that his parents have signed him up for a reality TV show called Kid Swap. He is to move in with another family and everything he does will be filmed. Sadly, most of what he does while the camera is pointing his way is not the kind of thing he wants to share with millions of total strangers. And then, on top of it all, there's his bizarre skin problem...Find out how Jiggy copes with TV fame andflick the pages for a disgusting dinner!
Kidnapped for His Royal Duty: A Contemporary Royal Romance (Stolen Brides #6)
by Jane PorterHe needs a substitute bride…And she will be his queen!When desert prince Dal’s convenient bride is stolen, he must find a replacement—immediately. Suddenly shy secretary Poppy is kidnapped by her merciless boss and whisked away to his kingdom. She’s shocked to find herself willingly surrendering to his expert seduction! But when it becomes clear that Dal has more than pleasure in mind, will Poppy be persuaded to accept his royal proposal?
Kidnapped! (Forbidden Fantasies)
by Jo LeighOkay, it's certainly an unconventional way for Manhattanheiress Tate Baxter to conquer her fears. But when yourwhole life takes place behind the tinted windows of a limoand your household staff are all gun-toting ex-CIA, drasticmeasures have to be taken. Especially when one memberof that staff has got her all hot and bothered. Chauffeur Michael Caulfield has just one assignment-keeping Tate safe. But when she's kidnapped for real,the only way he can save her is to become a prisonerwith her. He may be just "the help," but as her take-chargeprotector, he's the Michael of her sexual fantasies.Maybe a man she can trust and even dare to love?Except once out of his uniform, he isn't exactly layingbare all his secrets...to Tate.
Kids Are Turds: Brutally Honest Humor for the Pooped-Out Parent
by Jenny SchoberlWhen do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said "Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share. <p><p> Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name.Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby!What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out? <p> Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a "good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!
Kids Are Weird
by Jeffrey BrownAs he's shown in his previous hugely popular books, Jeffrey Brown has a real gift for finding humor in quirky yet universal truths. Now the bestselling author of Darth Vader and Son and Vader's Little Princess brings his witty comic observations to terrestrial parenting in this perceptive book celebrating the more surreal moments of raising a child. In charming colorful panels, Brown wryly illustrates his fiveyear- old son's take on the world around him, from watching TV ("Elton John looks pretty in that shirt") to playing with toys ("This truck can survive on very little water") to odd requests ("Don't feel happy at me"), capturing the sweetly weird times that mothers and fathers everywhere experience with their own curious, pure-minded kids.
Kids Are Weird: And Other Observations from Parenthood
by Jeffrey BrownAs he's shown in his previous hugely popular books, Jeffrey Brown has a real gift for finding humor in quirky yet universal truths. Now the bestselling author of Darth Vader and Son and Vader's Little Princess brings his witty comic observations to terrestrial parenting in this perceptive book celebrating the more surreal moments of raising a child. In charming colorful panels, Brown wryly illustrates his fiveyear- old son's take on the world around him, from watching TV ("Elton John looks pretty in that shirt") to playing with toys ("This truck can survive on very little water") to odd requests ("Don't feel happy at me"), capturing the sweetly weird times that mothers and fathers everywhere experience with their own curious, pure-minded kids.
Kids Pick The Funniest Poems: Poems That Make Kids Laugh (Giggle Poetry)
by Bruce Lansky Stephen CarpenterBetcha laugh!This is one of the most popular collections of funny poetry for kids ever published. It's a classic because it's the first collection of poems selected by kids! It includes clever creations from some of the most popular names in children's poetry, including Bill Dodds, Timothy Tocher, Joyce Armor, Robert Pottle, Bruce Lansky, and Kenn Nesbitt. Humorous illustrations by Stephen Carpenter make this book even better.
Kids' Klangers: The Funny Things That Children Say
by Richard BensonThe world is a confusing place, especially for children, and their innocent observations and questions can be side-splittingly hilarious. They can also be a tiny bit embarrassing if you're, say, behind an elderly gentleman at a busy checkout and your little angel asks you...'is that man all wrinkly because he's been in the bath too long?'
Kids' Klangers: The Funny Things That Children Say
by Richard BensonThe world is a confusing place, especially for children, and their innocent observations and questions can be side-splittingly hilarious. They can also be a tiny bit embarrassing if you're, say, behind an elderly gentleman at a busy checkout and your little angel asks you...'is that man all wrinkly because he's been in the bath too long?'
Kids' Kookiest Riddles
by Steve CharneyWhat do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs. Who did Dracula marry? The girl necks door. With hundreds of hysterical riddles to choose from, theres non-stop amusement. Kids will keep dipping into this kooky, crazy collection, just for laughs. The subjects range from "Bugs, Beasts, and Birds" to "You Could Have Food Me." There are even "Goofball Poems" like this: Its a dogs delight to bark all night,And a nightingales to sing. And if you sit on a red-hot stove,Its the sign of an early spring.Every one is fun.
Kids' Letters to President Bush
by Bill AdlerA humorous, eye-opening look at the American political life as viewed through the children’s correspondence with the president. In this collection of more than three hundred letters to President Bush, kids ask personal questions, offer advice, and tell the president about themselves. Ranging from funny to poignant these letters provide a unique glimpse into the minds of young Americans and offer a fresh view of the White House.
Kids' Letters to President Obama
by Bill Adler Jr.A charming non-partisan collection of more than 200 letters highlighting children's thoughts and perspectives on the historic victory of President Barack Obama and what lies ahead.
Kill All Angels: The Vicious Circuit, Book Three (The Vicious Circuit #3)
by Robert BrockwayThe concluding volume in the humorous punk rock adventure that began with The Unnoticeablesand The Empty Ones. After the events of the first two books of the Vicious Circuit series, Carey and Randall reached LA during the early '80s punk scene, which was heavily mixed up with Chinatown. A young Chinese girl with silver hair is the Empty One that seems to run things there, and her ex-lover, an Empty One named Zang, has apparently turned against them and may or may not be on Carey's side. In modern times, Kaitlyn and company have also returned to LA because her powers have been growing and she has been having visions that may be telling her how to kill all of the angels. The downside being that they have to find a new one, first--and LA is the only place they know where to do that. Steeped in the LA punk scene in the '80s, Chinatown, sunken suburbs, the ocean and gargantuan things that swim in it, Kill All Angels is everything that fans of Robert Brockway's irreverent humor have been looking for to end the series with a bang.The Vicious Circuit TrilogyThe UnnoticeablesThe Empty OnesKill All Angels At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Kill Baxter (Apocalypse Now Now #2)
by Charlie HumanThe world been massively unappreciative of sixteen-year-old Baxter Zevcenko’s efforts. His bloodline may be a combination of ancient Boer mystic and giant shape-shifting crow, and he may have won an inter-dimensional battle and saved the world, but does the world care? No.Instead he’s packed off to Hexpoort, a magical training school for MK6 agents. Part reformatory, part military school, and just like Hogwarts (except with more sex, drugs, and better internet access) Hexpoort is a much bigger game than your average high-school, and has much more dangerous players.An attack on his new school by a dark figure called the Muti Man reunites Baxter with supernatural bounty hunter Jackson ‘Jackie’ Ronin and puts on them on the trail of the Obayifo, a tribe of supernatural media moguls and fashion designers. Together Baxter and Jackie are plunged into the most disgusting, terrifying and dangerous situation they’ve encountered yet: Cape Town Fashion Week.
Kill Fish Jones
by Caro KingIt's Grimshaw's job to carry out death bed curses. The more horrible and deadly they are, the more he enjoys them. When his master, Lampwick the Robber, has an unexpected opportunity to curse a whole new set of humans, Grimshaw can't believe his luck!He is desperate to catch a young boy named Fish Jones. But unlike any other human, Fish can see demons, and he is determined to stay alive... But as Grimshaw grows in power, it's not just him against Fish, it's him against the whole world. Can Jones stop the demon's dangerous and terrifying plan?Full of humor and wild imagination, Kill Fish Jones will grip you by the throat and not let go!
Kill Your Friends: A Novel
by John NivenAS the twentieth century breathes its very last, with Britpop at its zenith, twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Steven Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through London&’s music industry. Blithely crisscrossing the globe in search of the next megahit—fueled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine—Stelfox freely indulges in an unending orgy of self-gratification. But the industry is changing fast and the hits are drying up, and the only way he&’s going to salvage his sagging career is by taking the idea of &“cutthroat&” to murderous new levels.
Kill the Boy Band (Point Ser.)
by Goldy MoldavskyThe New York Times–bestselling debut story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite band has darkly comical and deadly results.Just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near them. That’s why we got a room in the hotel where they were staying.We were not planning to kidnap one of them. Especially not the most useless one. But we had him—his room key, his cell phone, and his secrets.We were not planning on what happened next. We swear.Praise for Kill the Boy Band“Moldavsky’s sharp, shocking debut is like no other.” —Entertainment Weekly“Fiercely entertaining . . . One of the smartest YA releases of the year.” —New York Daily News“Misery for the Belieber generation.” —Observer.com“Boy bands gets the Heathers treatment in this madcap macabre . . . A sendup of the artificiality of the fame-making machine from both sides, the novel’s humor is mercilessly black, and no one comes up smelling like roses.” —Kirkus Reviews“Wickedly funny.” —NPR.org“Bitingly satirical.” —Publishers Weekly“[For] anyone who’s ever had the fortune-or misfortune-of being a fan.” —Booklist “Hilarious . . . A must-have.” —School Library Journal
Kill the Farm Boy: The Tales of Pell (The Tales of Pell #1)
by Kevin Hearne Delilah S. DawsonIn an irreverent new series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. <P><P>Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. <P> This is not that fairy tale. <P> There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. <P>And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. <P>There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.
Kill the Lax Bro
by Charlotte Lillie BaloghA fresh and darkly funny 90s murder mystery about one high school's net of lies that begin to unravel when a star lacrosse player winds up dead.The night before graduation, all of Hancock High celebrates at their school&’s annual lock-in. But what starts out as a fun night turns horribly wrong when a body is found—and the victim is none other than Troy Richards, the school&’s star lacrosse player. Everyone is acting totally clueless. As for suspects? There&’s Jennifer (the dream girl), Naomi (the geek), Sassi (the overachiever), and Tatum (the rebel). At a glance, it seems like they couldn&’t be more unalike, except for the fact that they all hated Troy (the lax bro) . . . but who wanted him dead? From debut author Charlotte Lillie Balogh comes a wickedly sharp take on high school stereotypes, including the boys we love and love to hate: lax bros.
Kill the Mall
by Pasha MallaDouglas Adams meets David Lynch in this witty yet horror-tinged fable about one of North America's scariest inventions--the local mall.After writing a letter in praise of "malls," our eccentric narrator is offered a "residency" at a shabby suburban shopping centre. His mission: to occupy the mall for several weeks, splitting his time between "making work" and "engaging the public," all while chronicling his adventures in weekly progress reports.Before long, a series of strange after-hour events rattles our hero, and he sets forth on a nightly quest to untangle the mysterious forces at play in the mall's unmapped recesses. Things quickly get hairy, and our narrator's optimism about his mall residency descends into doubt, and then into a full-blown phantasmagoria of horror and (possibly) murder. With the aid of a weird and wonderful cast of mall-dwelling misfits--including a pony named Gary--our narrator is forced to conclude that the mall may not be the temple of consumer bliss he initially imagined, but something far more sinister. And who, or what, is benefitting from its existence? Pasha Malla's creative genius shines in this madcap work of horror-fantasy--a cutting critique of consumer culture as embodied in the fading local mall.