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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: The Spacedog Cometh #3 (Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat #3)
by Emily Chenoweth Johnny Marciano"Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!"--Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series."Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had."--Max Brallier, New York Times Bestselling author of The Last Kids on Earth. Klawde is not your basic cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant... and he's also Raj Banerjee's best friend.In book three of this hysterical series, Klawde faces a challenger he never imagined: a dog, who has arrived on Earth to settle the intergalactic score. He's hyper, he's loyal, he's an all-around-good boy, and he's here to bring Klawde to justice. Can our ferocious feline evade the long paw of the law? Raj, on the other hand, is faced with his own out-of-town visitor who, although from Earth, may prove to be even more formidable: his grandmother. When she plans a birthday party Raj doesn't want, will he survive the embarrassment? Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj's and Klawde's perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges between a boy and the evil cat who arrived on his doorstep.
Klutzhood
by Chris McMahenArlo thinks his mother is crazy for taking a job in a small town, far away from his old home and his good friends. To make matters worse, the students at his new school are crazy—hockey crazy. Arlo has never laced up a pair of skates in his life, and he's not about to start. To avoid making a complete fool of himself in front of his classmates, Arlo joins a group of misfits called the Dumpster Dudes, who set him a series of wild initiation tests that unleash mayhem on the school. Broken windows in the classrooms, angry ants in the hallways, bicycles in the library and monsters in the air ducts—can East Bend Elementary survive Arlo? And will Arlo survive East Bend?
Knee Deep in Life: Wife, Mother, Realist… and why we’re already enough
by Laura BelbinSUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'I just howled. Bloomin' love you' Giovanna Fletcher'You're hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh every day' Mrs Hinch When does Mary Effing Poppins arrive? Laura Belbin survived hitting her thirties (oh, to be wrinkle-free again), anxiety (just), motherhood (two adorable little shits) and the new body that went with it (a left tit that sags slightly more than the right, anyone?). In Knee Deep in Life she gives a fearless and filthy account of her transformation from no-responsibilities woman to being in demand 24/7, the heartaches and humiliations, and most importantly, her (definitely-pushed-to-the-limits-but-totally-indestructible) marriage to Steve, the man who helped her to hold it together when post-natal depression kicked in.Full of heart and wit - not to mention swearing that would make a sailor blush - this is the beast of a book Laura intends on riding into the hands of those people who doubt themselves every single day: the ones who have struggled to accept the way they look; the mums-to-be about to find themselves taking their first step towards parenthood; and the women bossing it like badasses every single day but never getting the credit they deserve. You are more than enough.
Knees Up Mother Earth
by Robert RankinMagic, time travel and football: not exactly your everyday combination - but the fate of mankind hangs upon the result. Of course.There's big trouble in little Brentford. Property developers are planning to destroy the borough's beloved football ground and build executive homes on the site. Shock! Outrage! Horror!The lads of The Flying Swan, Brentford's most celebrated drinking house, take up the challenge. Surely with these stalwarts working for the cause, Brentford's football ground can be saved? Would it were so, but this is Brentford and ancient forces of evil are forever stirring in the borough: Old Testament terrors, Lovecraftian loathsomes and beasties from the bottomless pit. And if the team make it through to the final, it's going to be a match that no one will forget. What with the fate of mankind hanging upon the result. And everything.
Knick Knack Paddy Whack: A Novel
by Ardal O'HanlonA surprise best-seller in Britain, this outrageous, weirdly funny first novel will appeal to fans of Paddy Clark Ha Ha Ha. Not since Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye has literature seen a young man with as much contempt for hypocrisy and phoniness as Patrick Scully, the narrator of this brilliantly observed tale of a nineteen-year-old's frustrations and dreams. Stuck in a dead- job in Dublin, while his friends pursue useless degrees at the university, Patrick escapes for a week to his hometown of Killeeny, a few hours' bus ride from Dublin. There he hooks up with his childhood chum, Balls O'Reilly, and his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Francesca, who, as we learn in chapters from her diary, is more interested in Balls than she'd want anyone, especially Patrick, to know. What follows is a rollicking week of carousing, drinking, and depravity, all seen through Patrick's searing and unforgiving eyes. Laced with hilarious small-town insight, this gripping first novel builds to a shocking climax as Patrick's insight into the duplicity of his so-called friends becomes more than he can bear.
Knight In Screaming Armor: The Knight In Screaming Armor; Diary Of A Mad Mummy; Deep In The Jungle Of Doom; Welcome To The Wicked Wax Museum (Give Yourself Goosebumps #9)
by R. L. StineReader beware--you choose the scare! GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS!Your cousins, Kip and Abbey, have come to visit you from jolly old England -- and guess what they brought with them? Two huge crates, each containing a suit of armor and a curse. But it doesn't matter, 'cause you're "dying" to see what's inside.If you open the crate marked "Evil Knight," you will be hypnotized by the knight's sparkling medallion and will have to face an ugly sorceress. If you open the "Good Knight" crate, you'll discover a room full of mannequin heads that talk. Before you know, it you've lost your head. Can you pull yourself together before time runs out? The choice is yours in this scary GOOSEBUMPS adventure that's packed with over 20 super-spooky endings!
Knight Life: Modern Arthur Trilogy 1
by Peter DavidMore than 1,500 years after his disappearance into the mists of Avalon, King Arthur has returned. This time, he's prepared to rule the Camelot of a new millennium: New York City. Handsome, charismatic Arthur Penn is running for mayor on a platform of common sense, humor, and knightly virtues. His advisors include a gifted ten-year-old named Merlin; Percival, an immortal accountant; and Gwen, a lovely young woman with no end of problems. Their grassroots campaign steadily gains strength until scandal looms with the sudden emergence of Morgan Le Fay, Arthur's sorceress half-sister, and her son Mordred, the aspiring mayor's ambitious heir. Acclaimed by Kirkus Reviews as "steady fun" by "a darkly amusing fantasist," this imaginative romp is the revised and expanded version of Peter David's first novel, Sir Apropos of Nothing, originally published in 1987 and now out of print. David is the author of more than fifty novels, many of which have appeared on The New York Times bestsellers list. His sparkling update of Arthurian myth abounds in wit, irony, and astute reflections on human nature.
Knight's Castle (Tales of Magic #2)
by Edward EagerBook two in the series called “truly magic in a reader’s hands” by Jack Gantos, Newbery Medal winner for Dead End in Norvelt.If the old toy soldier hadn’t come to life, Roger would never have discovered the magic.And that would never have happened if he and his sister, Ann, hadn’t been sent to stay with their bossy cousins for the summer. And that wouldn’t have happened at all if their father hadn’t gotten sick and gone into the hospital. But all of that did happen, and now Roger, his sister, and their cousins find themselves in a bygone world of chivalry and knighthood, of Robin Hood and Ivanhoe.In this knightly realm they can make a difference—and perhaps even save the person they most need to save—if only they are smart and brave enough, if only they are true to their hearts.This funny and gentle classic series is an enjoyable read-aloud and also a strong choice for independent reading. For fans of such favorite series as The Penderwicks and The Vanderbeekers.Enjoy all seven of the middle grade novels in Edward Eager’s beloved Tales of Magic series!“A delicious spoof.” —Saturday Review“A priceless mixture of old and new . . . May even lure readers who thought they were beyond the fairy-tale age.” —New York Herald Tribune
Knighthood for Beginners (Elys Dolan Illustrated Chapter Books)
by Elys DolanMeet Dave (a dragon who wants to become a knight) and his trusty steed (a German-speaking, worldly goat named Albrecht) in this illustrated, laugh-out-loud chapter book.Dave is terrible at all the things dragons are supposed to be good at: hoarding gold, eating villages, telling riddles...and don’t even ask about his knitting skills. So when he becomes the first dragon ever to fail the Dragon Test, he finds a book called Knighthood for Beginners and decides he’s found his destiny! Before long, Dave is decked out in a new suit of armor and is off on a series of adventures with his trusty steed—a German-speaking, life coach, explorer, and goat named Albrecht. The ultimate goal? Dave the dragon being knighted by the King of Castletown. From start to satisfying finish, this page-turner by Elys Dolan is a fresh and extremely funny new voice in chapter books. Black-and-white illustrations by the author help bring all the hilarity to life, and there’s even a glossary of Albrecht’s German expressions.
Knights and Bikes (Knights and Bikes #1)
by Gabrielle KentThe first book in a new series filled with friendship, magic, and laugh-out loud adventureWelcome to the sleepy island of Penfurzy, where nothing exciting ever really happens. OR DOES IT? Adventure awaits Demelza and her new best friend in the whole world, Nessa, as they explore the island and uncover the mysteries of the Penfurzy Knights. With a honking pet goose sidekick, quirky islanders and a legendary treasure to find, it's up to Nessa and Demelza to ride their bikes, solve the puzzles before them, and face down danger with frisbees, water-balloons, feathers .... and a toilet plunger. THEIR FRIENDSHIP WILL WARM YOUR HEART. THEIR BRAVERY WILL MAKE THEM LEGENDS.
Knights and Bikes: Rebel Bicycle Club (Knights and Bikes #2)
by Gabrielle KentThe friendship, magic, and laugh-out loud adventure continues in this hilarious chapter book series!Best friends Demelza and Nessa are always up for adventure. After all, what else is there to do on the sleepy island of Penfurzy? The two girls have discovered a magic world of myth and legend in a submerged castle just off the island, and now, accompanied by their pet goose Captain Honkers, are on a quest to help a headless knight (or rather, a knight who is JUST a head) find treasure.They set off on their bikes and explore both the everyday and legendary worlds, and encounter everything from a sullen bully named Connan to a ghost train to an ancient tomb beneath a shuttered amusement park. Along the way, the two girls will become braver and even closer friends.
Knights and Bikes: Wheels of Legend (Knights and Bikes #3)
by Gabrielle KentMore friendship, magic, and laugh-out loud adventure in this hilarious chapter book series!A new mystery has rolled onto Penfurzy Island, and the Rebel Bicycle Club are ready to investigate! Nessa, Demelza, and their goose, Captain Honkers, are excited to explore a traveling carnival that's come to Penfurzy, and soon they befriend Jack, the son of the carnival owner. But strange things are happening too, like odd tremors that shake the island! Does it have anything to do with the fact that the carnival comes to Penfurzy only every ten years? It's up to the friends to do what they do best: save the day from a fate worse than homework.An adventure with twists, turns and gross-out trailer park invaders guaranteed to make you laugh!
Knights vs. Dinosaurs (Knight Versus Ser.)
by Matt PhelanAn ALA Notable Title“Absurdly entertaining. Victorious on all fronts.”—Booklist (starred review)Renowned for their courage, their chivalry, and their ability to fight mythical creatures, the Knights of the Round Table must face their most dangerous opponents yet—DINOSAURS!This heavily illustrated middle grade novel from award-winning author and artist Matt Phelan is a hilarious, rip-roaring tale of derring-do perfect for reluctant readers and fans of How to Train Your Dragon and The Terrible Two. Let me tell you a secret about the Knights of the Round Table: they don’t have much to do. The realm is at peace and dragons are few and far between. So Merlin decides to send the knights out on a real adventure to a world filled with the most terrible lizards of all: DINOSAURS! Knights vs. Dinosaurs is a highly illustrated, fast-paced adventure full of uproarious knightly hijinks, surprising secrets, and terrifying dinosaurs. With art on nearly every page, including an epic fight scene depicted in several graphic-novel style spreads, this engaging story is Monty Python for young middle school readers.A great choice for reluctant readers, aspiring knights, and fans of Peter Brown’s The Wild Robot. “This rollicking story is suspenseful and silly. An excellent choice for all readers.”—School Library Journal (starred review)
Knights vs. Monsters
by Matt Phelan“Absurdly entertaining. Victorious on all fronts.”—Booklist (starred review)Renowned for their courage, their chivalry, and their ability to fight mythical creatures, the Knights of the Round Table face a new band of dangerous opponents—MONSTERS! In the rip-roaring sequel to Matt Phelan’s acclaimed Knights vs. Dinosaurs, four daring knights and one intrepid archer face off against legendary monsters. This heavily illustrated middle grade adventure is a hilarious tale of derring-do that is perfect for reluctant readers and fans of The Terrible Two and The Wild Robot. Award-winning creator Matt Phelan’s Knights vs. Monsters is a highly illustrated, fast-paced adventure full of uproarious knightly hijinks, surprising secrets, and terrifying monsters.When a magical boat sweeps the Knights of the Round Table off to Scotland, they take on the evil Queen Morgause and her horde of monsters. With art on nearly every page, including an epic fight scene depicted in several graphic-novel style spreads, this engaging story is ideal for reluctant readers, aspiring knights, and fans of Gordon Korman’s Masterminds.“This rollicking story is suspenseful and silly. An excellent choice for all readers.”—School Library Journal (starred review)
Knights vs. the End (of Everything)
by Matt PhelanThe third action-packed story in Matt Phelan’s acclaimed Knights vs. series! Five daring heroes face their most difficult challenge yet: saving Camelot itself. Can the band of friends survive an evil queen, a powerful Faerie King, and one nasty dragon? This heavily illustrated middle grade adventure is a hilarious tale of derring-do, perfect for reluctant readers as well as fans of The Terrible Two and The Wild Robot. A year has passed since the knights battled monsters on the mist-covered Orkney Isles. The knights have searched high and low for the elusive Queen Morgause, who is bent on destroying King Arthur and all of Camelot. Finally, a tip from the legendary Green Knight sends the heroes searching for the Faerie Realm, an eerie world where nothing is what it seems. Together, the knights will lose an old friend, discover a new ally, face a dangerous dragon, and learn what it means to be a legend. With art on nearly every page, including an epic fight scene depicted in several graphic-novel–style spreads, this engaging story is ideal for reluctant readers, aspiring knights, and action-adventure fans. Camelot may never be the same after these heroes come to the rescue!
Knitting Rules!: The Yarn Harlot's Bag of Knitting Tricks
by Stephanie Pearl-McPheeBoth a celebration of the craft and a sourcebook for practical information, Knitting Rules! is a collection of useful advice and emotional support for the avid knitter. Stephanie Pearl-McPhee unravels the mysteries of tangled yarn, confusing patterns, and stubbornly unfinished projects. Daring to question long-standing rules and encouraging crafters to knit in the way that works best for them, this illuminating, liberating, and hilarious look at the world of knitting is full of surprises and delightfully inspiring ideas.
Knitting for Dogs
by Laurel MolkA funny and creative look at how to turn a problem into a solution.Max is a big dog who lives with Izzy, a medium-sized girl, who has big ideas. Izzy can build anything—a birdhouse, a wooden swing, a tent, and even a catapult that really works. So when Izzy takes up knitting, she expects to be able to knit anything. But trying to make a sweater seems impossible.While scarves and hats knit up quickly, her sweaters always come out too big, too small, or with too many mistakes. As Izzy&’s knitting nightmares pile up, it takes a trip with Max to the dog park to figure out what she can do with them. Maybe these aren&’t mistakes after all!
Knives, Seasoning, and a Dash of Love
by Katrina KwanIn this delicious debut from actress Katrina Kwan comes a spicy romance between the talented and hotheaded chef Alexander Chen and his new hire Eden Monroe. When her bubbly attitude collides with his sharp edges, can they handle the heat between them or will their love be a recipe for disaster?Meet Alexander Chen, one of the most talented chefs to ever grace the culinary world of French haute cuisine. He rules his kitchen with an iron fist and fiery temper, so it's no secret that if you can't handle the heat, he'll gladly toss you out with the trash. As one of the first Chinese-American chefs to claw his way to the top, he has a lot to prove and a massive chip on his shoulder.But he wasn't always like this. Meet Eden Monroe, his newly hired sous chef—who may or may not have (definitely) embellished a lot on her resumé to land herself the job. She knew him back when he still went by his real name, Shang. He used to be sweet and helpful and definitely not the second coming of the devil himself.Eden won't say anything, though, no matter how hot her curiosity burns. Especially not if it could cost her this job, which she needs if she has any hope of hiring a private detective to find something she lost long ago.All she needs to do is fly under the radar. It's just a shame that she and her new boss butt heads more often than they fulfill orders. But what happens when things finally boil over, and they discover the feelings between them are spicier than they ever imagined?
Knock Knock
by Tammi SauerBear is getting ready for a long winter nap when his friends come "KNOCK KNOCK" knocking! A hilarious tale from bestselling author Tammi Sauer and bestselling illustrator Guy Francis.Knock Knock is a fresh and innovative method of humorous storytelling that uses knock-knock jokes to tell the story of Bear and his woodland friends Raccoon, Rabbit, Turtle, and others. With each new visitor, Bear grows increasingly frustrated at his lack of peace and quiet. Little does Bear know that his friends have a surprise in store for him -- a happy hibernation party!"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Justin.""Justin who?""Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by."It's sidesplitting storybook fun!
Knock Knock Alien (Knock Knock)
by Caryl HartPages of alien counting chaos will have youngsters laughing ... and learning! The follow-up to the hilarious Knock Knock Dinosaur and Knock Knock Pirate - from award-winning author Caryl Hart, creator of How To Grow A Dinosaur, and bestselling illustrator Nick East.When some aliens blast her house off into space, it's up to this little girl to navigate among the stars. They need to find their home planet, but first they must avoid that black hole - eek! - and watch out for that space station! All without waking Gran . . .A hilarious way of introducing counting to young readers. And enjoy the other books in the series for more counting chaos - Knock Knock Pirate and Knock Knock Dinosaur!Caryl Hart has won the Stockport Children's Book Award, the Oldham Brilliant Books Award, the Rotherham Children's Book Award, and has been shortlisted for the Red House Children's Book Award.Follow Caryl at carylhart.com and @carylhart1 Find Nick at nickeastillustration.com
Knock Knock Boo Who?: And Other Silly & Spooky Jokes (Illustrated Jokes)
by Brenda PonnayThe perfect joke book for Halloween or any other day of the year. The only thing that&’s scary is how hard it will be to stop laughing. Knock Knock. Who&’s there? Howl. Howl Who?Howl I know you&’re not a monster? Brenda Ponnay is back with a collection of slightly spooky illustrated knock knock jokes that are sure to be read and repeated over and over again. Perfect for giving family and friends the chills—and giggles galore.
Knock Knock Jokes
by Hinkler BooksSplit your sides laughing and entertain your family and friends for hours with this hilarious book of knock knock jokes! Full of comical illustrations by Glen Singleton, Knock Knock Jokes will keep you laughing for hours.
Knock Knock Pirate (Knock Knock)
by Caryl HartA rhyming pirate counting book with a difference - the follow up to the hilarious Knock Knock Dinosaur - from award-winning author Caryl Hart, creator of How to Grow a Dinosaur, and bestselling illustrator Nick East.A visit from a pirate might sound like fun . . . but when the Captain's whole crew turn up too - causing mayhem and chaos - it's time for this little girl to panic. What is Dad going to say when he gets home?!Caryl Hart has won the Stockport Children's Book Award, the Oldham Brilliant Books Award, the Rotherham Children's Book Award, and has been shortlisted for the Red House Children's Book Award.Follow Caryl at carylhart.com and @carylhart1 Find Nick at nickeastillustration.com
Knock Knock Superhero (Knock Knock)
by Caryl HartA hilarious rhyming superhero counting book - perfect for fans of the Ten Littles series!Knock, knock! There's a superhero at the door! Pasta Man has run out of Pasta Power. . . Can our young hero help him to get his powers back and defeat evil Madame Chilli, who wants to rule the world with lashings of chilli sauce?With action-packed adventure and bright, detailed artwork, this is the ultimate fun-filled counting storybook!Also look out for:Knock Knock DinosaurKnock Knock PirateKnock Knock Alien
Knock! Knock! Where Is There? (Where Is?)
by Brian Elling Who HQAnother round of sidesplitting jokes based on the New York Times best-selling Where Is? series!This hilarious follow-up collection of jokes featuring all the subjects of the ever-popular Where Is? series will keep kids laughing right through geography class! There are 300 silly jokes about places like Stonehenge, Easter Island, the Bermuda Triangle, Mount Rushmore, Area 51, and even our Solar System in this all-new collection.