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Just Kill Me
by Adam SelzerFrom the author of Play Me Backwards and I Kissed a Zombie and I Liked It comes a dark comedy about one teen's unusual summer job as a ghost tour guide in Chicago.Megan Henske isn't one to heed warnings... When the last letters in her alphabet cereal are D, I, and E, she doesn't crawl right back into bed. When her online girlfriend won't text a photo, she just sends more of herself. And when she realizes that Cynthia, her boss at a Chicago ghost tour company, isn't joking about making stops more haunted by euthanizing people there, she doesn't quit her job--she may even help. But soon she learns people in the murdermonger industry are being murdered, and doesn't know who it is doing it. Could it be the head of the rival tour company? Or could it be someone near and dear to Megan? After she realizes she has an uncanny resemblance to a flapper who disappeared in 1922, Megan receives a warning she can't ignore: the next ghost on the tour might be her...
Just Like Dad Says: A Book of Dad's Wit
by Geoff Tibballs'I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood' Homer SimpsonFathers come in many guises - wise or silly, strict or kind. They can make you laugh and they can make you cringe. They can drive you home and they can drive you mad ...In Just Like Dad Says, wise and witty words from the likes of Billy Connolly, Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Milligan and Homer Simpson cover everything from the joy of being a new dad to waving kids off as they - finally - leave home. Old and new, laugh-out-loud funny or wickedly dry, Just Like Dad Says is the best ever collection of quotes by and about Dad. 'My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo' Bob Monkhouse'Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective' P.J. O'Rourke
Just Like Magic
by Sarah HogleFrom the author of TikTok favourite, You Deserve Each Other, comes a charmingly festive romcom!Bettie Hughes once knew the comfort of luxury . . . before she lost all her money. Long obsessed with her public image, Bettie boasts an extravagant lifestyle on social media but in reality she's broke and her family has no idea.Christmas, with all its pressure to meet familial expectations, is looming when Bettie plays a vinyl record of 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' backward and accidentally conjures up Hall, the Holiday Spirit, in the form of a charming and handsome man. Once the shock wears off, Bettie knows she's stumbled upon the greatest gift: a chance to make all her holiday wishes come true, plus a ready-made fiancé.But as some of Bettie's wishes lose their charm, she finds herself thrown off-kilter by Hall's sweet nature. Suddenly, grumpy Bettie is finding her heart merry and light. But the happier she gets, the shorter Hall's time on earth grows. Can Bettie channel the Christmas spirit and learn to live with goodwill toward all men? Or will her selfish ways return as soon as the holidays are over?
Just Like Magic
by Sarah HogleThe holidays were never her thing, until she accidentally conjures the Holiday Spirit...before her very eyes.Bettie Hughes once knew the comfort of luxury, flaunting a collection of designer purses and an enviable dream home in Hawaii. That was before she lost all her money. Long obsessed with her public image, Bettie boasts an extravagant lifestyle on social media. But the reality is Bettie is broke and squatting in Colorado, and her family has no idea. Christmas, with its pressure to meet familial expectations, is looming when Bettie plays a vinyl record of &“All I Want for Christmas Is You&” backward and accidentally conjures up Hall, the Holiday Spirit, in the form of a charming and handsome (if offbeat) man. Once the shock wears off, Bettie knows she&’s stumbled upon the greatest gift: a chance to make all her holiday wishes come true, plus a ready-made fiancé. But as some of Bettie&’s wishes lose their charm, she finds herself thrown off-kilter by Hall&’s sweet nature. Suddenly, grumpy Bettie is finding her heart merry and light. But the happier she gets, the shorter Hall&’s time on earth grows. Can Bettie channel the Christmas spirit and learn to live with goodwill toward all men? Or will her selfish ways return as soon as the holidays are over?
Just Like Mum Says: A Book of Mum's Wit
by Rosemarie Jarski'Having a baby is like watching two very inefficient removal men trying to get a very large sofa through a very small doorway, only in this case you can't say, "Oh, sod it, bring it through the French windows"' Victoria Wood'It's not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it' Dorothy, The Golden Girls Motherhood is a tough job and a serious business. Which means there's all the more reason to step back and see the funny side of it, and Just Like Mum Says is packed with humorous insights and wry observations on all matters maternal.Tracing the course of mothering through pregnancy, the terrible twos, the teenage years and the empty nest, Just Like Mum Says includes wise and witty words from celebrated matriarchs from Marge Simpson to Sharon Osbourne, and Victoria Beckham to Victoria Wood.In short, Just Like Mum Says amuses, delights, enlightens and touches the heart - just like Mum.'When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job' Roseanne
Just Like Us! Cats (Just Like Us!)
by Bridget HeosGet the facts on some of nature&’s most beloved animals and discover the unexpected ways humans and cats are similar in Just Like Us! Cats. Appealing mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations. What animals are loving parents, great diplomats, and world class CAThletes? CATS! While they may seem as different from us as animals can possibly be, we actually have a lot in common with our feline friends. From their hunting skills to their fondness for nap time, cats are a lot like us—though with fascinating twists all their own. Factual, funny, and featuring a dynamic mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations, Just Like Us! Cats will charm even the most reluctant nonfiction readers.
Just Like Us! Crocs (Just Like Us!)
by Bridget HeosGet the scoop on some of nature&’s most fearsome predators and discover the unexpected ways humans and crocodilians are similar in Just Like Us! Crocs. Appealing mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations. What animals love to bask in the sun, cool off with a quick swim, and don&’t always get along with their siblings? CROCS! While they might seem as different from us as animals can possibly be, we actually have a lot in common with our crocodilian comrades—alligators, crocodiles, muggers, caimans, and gharials. From tending to their young, to surfing a wave, crocodilians are a lot like us—though with fascinating twists all their own. Factual, funny, and featuring a dynamic mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations, Just Like Us! Crocs will charm even the most reluctant nonfiction readers.
Just Like Us! Fish (Just Like Us!)
by Bridget HeosGet the facts on an array of aquatic creatures and discover the unexpected ways humans and fish are similar in Just Like Us! Fish. Appealing mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations. What animal uses stilts, has roommates, finds safety in numbers, and even gets skin treatments at the spa? FISH! While they might seem as different from humans as animals can possibly be, we actually have a lot in common with our underwater neighbors. From hunting to homemaking to dressing to impress, fish are a lot like us—though with fascinating twists all their own. Factual, funny, and featuring a dynamic mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations, Just Like Us! Fish will charm even the most reluctant nonfiction readers.
Just Like Us! Plants (Just Like Us!)
by Bridget HeosGet the facts on an array of leafy organisms and discover the unexpected ways humans and plants are alike in Just Like Us! Plants. Appealing mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations. What living things wear perfume, bask in the sun, use weapons to defend themselves, and even go on ocean cruises? PLANTS! While they might seem as different from humans as possible, we actually have a lot in common with our photosynthesizing friends. From drinking water to disguising themselves to communicating with one another, plants are a lot like us—though with fascinating twists all their own. Factual, funny, and featuring a dynamic mix of photographs and cartoon illustrations, Just Like Us! Plants will charm even the most reluctant nonfiction readers.
Just Like You: A Novel
by Nick Hornby&“[A] charming, funny, touching, and relevant comedy.&” —The Boston Globe &“A provocative yet sweet romantic comedy.&” —People, Best of Fall 2020 This warm, wise, highly entertaining twenty-first century love story is about what happens when the person who makes you happiest is someone you never expected Lucy used to handle her adult romantic life according to the script she'd been handed. She met a guy just like herself: same age, same background, same hopes and dreams; they got married and started a family. Too bad he made her miserable. Now, two decades later, she's a nearly-divorced, forty-one-year-old schoolteacher with two school-aged sons, and there is no script anymore. So when she meets Joseph, she isn't exactly looking for love--she's more in the market for a babysitter. Joseph is twenty-two, living at home with his mother, and working several jobs, including the butcher counter where he and Lucy meet. It's not a match anyone one could have predicted. He's of a different class, a different culture, and a different generation. But sometimes it turns out that the person who can make you happiest is the one you least expect, though it can take some maneuvering to see it through. Just Like You is a brilliantly observed, tender, but also brutally funny new novel that gets to the heart of what it means to fall surprisingly and headlong in love with the best possible person--someone you didn't see coming.
Just Like a Man
by Elizabeth BevarlyHannah Frost is used to being surrounded by cute, sweet, troublemakers. After all, she's the principle of Indiana's upper class private elementary school, a popular repository for kids who "don't fit in" at public school. But even though she's been single since dinosaurs roamed the earth, what is interesting Hannah these days isn't her worst student㟩t's his father, What she can put her fingers on? Michael Sawyer, aka Raptor, former FBI computer specialist, has a few good ideas. Trouble is, he's too busy trying to save the world––or at least the world's internet connections––from certain doom at the hands of an old enemy, and trying to get his imaginative son back on course at school. But there's always time for a gorgeous, oh–so–prim, slightly mysterious headmistress, isn't there? Michael plans to make time, and do whatever it takes to convince Hannah to do the same.
Just Look at Me Now
by Nell DixonTia's top beauty tip: apply heavy make-up carefully to prevent any cracks from showing... Life is fabulous for Tia Carpenter. She has it all, money, looks, a great job as the beauty expert at stylish Platinum magazine and, at last, the attention of her unrequited high school love, Josh Banks. But Tia has a secret - back at school she was Barbara Baker, overweight, crooked teeth, frizzy hair and no fashion sense. Cosmetic dentistry, losing seven stones in weight and a complete makeover later, Tia has successfully erased her past life as Big Barb, tub of lard, until the day Juliet Gold, the bane of her teenage existence, arrives to work at the magazine. Juliet always got everything she ever wanted, and now she wants both Tia's job and Josh. Tia will have to use every makeover trick she's ever learned to stop Juliet from uncovering her past and stealing her man.
Just Look at Me Now
by Nell DixonTia's top beauty tip: apply heavy make-up carefully to prevent any cracks from showing... Life is fabulous for Tia Carpenter. She has it all, money, looks, a great job as the beauty expert at stylish Platinum magazine and, at last, the attention of her unrequited high school love, Josh Banks. But Tia has a secret - back at school she was Barbara Baker, overweight, crooked teeth, frizzy hair and no fashion sense. Cosmetic dentistry, losing seven stones in weight and a complete makeover later, Tia has successfully erased her past life as Big Barb, tub of lard, until the day Juliet Gold, the bane of her teenage existence, arrives to work at the magazine. Juliet always got everything she ever wanted, and now she wants both Tia's job and Josh. Tia will have to use every makeover trick she's ever learned to stop Juliet from uncovering her past and stealing her man.
Just Married
by Jenna Bayley-BurkeSeattle attorney Miranda Rose arrives in Las Vegas determined to keep her best friend-with-benefits from making a costly mistake - marrying some stranger just to save his family trust. But once there, Miranda discovers she's the surprise bride! One red-hot honeymoon later, they're back to their over-scheduled lives on opposite coasts. But a marriage of convenience with regularly scheduled sexytimes turns complicated when Miranda gets the shock of a lifetime: she's pregnant...with twins. Miranda has always wanted a family of her own, but her infertility made it impossible. Besides, Callum's difficult upbringing places him adamantly in the no-kid zone. Now she must decide between the man she's been in love with for years and the children she's longed for. Or will Callum surprise her yet again and come through when it matters most?
Just Me and My Dad
by Mercer MayerLittle Critter and his dad go camping. They build a campfire, go fishing, tell ghost stories, and have lots and lots of fun. Other books about Little Critter are available from Bookshare.
Just My Joe
by Joan Elliott PickartSOMETHING ABOUT JOE...Tall, dark...and arrogant—that was Polly Chapman's first impression of Joe Dillon. But then she took a closer look. Born with a sterling-silver spoon in his mouth, Joe chose instead to live modestly among the inner-city kids he taught...and took under his broad, protective wing. Drop-dead gorgeous, he had his pick of women...but he chose to pursue Polly, who considered herself well out of his league. Because Joe wasn't a man she could kiss, cuddle, then walk away from. He was her dream come true, and Polly didn't trust in dreams anymore.But then, she'd never met a guy like Joe before....
Just My Luck
by Jennifer HoneybournFunny and fresh, Jennifer Honeybourn's Just My Luck follows a teen who has to get her good luck back by returning items she stole—all while falling for a hotel guest.Marty has terrible luck and she knows exactly why. While working as a housekeeper at the ritzy Grand Palms hotel in Maui, Marty made it a habit to steal small items from the guests. What better way to stick it to the rich snobs they have to clean up after? Marty knows how to turn her luck around—she just has to return all of the items she stole. When Marty meets Will, a new guest who is staying for the summer, she does the one thing she always promised herself she'd never do—fall for an out-of-towner. But Will's special, different from the other guests at the hotel. Maybe Marty's luck is finally turning around.After a string of misunderstandings and accidents threaten Will and Marty's relationship, Marty has to find a way to fix her luck for good—or say goodbye to Will forever.
Just My Type
by Falon BallardTo win the job of her dreams, a relationship-prone journalist needs to learn how to stay single in this heartwarming and hilarious new romantic comedy from the beloved author of Lease on Love.Lana Parker is an expert girlfriend. After a disastrous breakup with her high school boyfriend, she's bounced from long-term relationship to long-term relationhip and even works as the dating and relationships columnist for one of Los Angeles's trendiest websites. But when Lana suddenly finds herself single, she's ready to take a break, both personally and professionally. That is, until her high school ex, Seth Carson, takes an assignment at Lana's site. Having spent years traveling the world as a freelance journalist, Seth's finally ready to put down roots. Seth and Lana's chemistry is just as combative—and undeniable—as ever and quickly leads to a competition that could shape both of their careers. Pitted against each other by Lana's boss, they are each tasked with writing an article series that goes against their usual dating type: Lana needs to write about being single and staying single, while Seth must learn to settle down and become boyfriend material. Whoever's series is most popular wins a highly coveted dream job. But when the two square off, it's not only their careers on the line—it&’s also their hearts.
Just My Type: The HILARIOUS novel from the bestselling author of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES
by Hannah Doyle'I am officially a fan-girl' LUCY VINEThe new bestselling novel from Hannah Doyle, author of the hit rom-com THE YEAR OF SAYING YES, perfect for fans of Love Island, Lucy Vine's What Fresh Hell and Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love. Picked by Closer as a Must Read! He's my type on paper . . . but IRL?Meet Jasmine: - The quirky/cool photographer to a superstar blogger - She's going on a date with a SUPER hot guy on the London Eye tonight - Best friend Mila is her wifey for life - This millennial is #LivingHerBestLifeBut fast-forward a few hours, and the reality isn't quite so picture perfect. Jasmine hates her stuck-up blogger boss. She can barely afford rent in her stupid London flat. Her best friend seems to have all her sh*t together. Oh, and that date she was so excited about? She got dumped. On the London Eye. In the middle of a thunderstorm. With a bunch of tourists watching... Best friend Mila decides that Jasmine needs a new 'type on paper', because Jasmine's current criteria is so off that her dating history is one long line-up of fools. So Mila challenges Jasmine to look once, if not twice, at the guys who wouldn't normally fit her 'type'. With nothing to lose, Jasmine accepts. Maybe, just maybe, she'll surprise herself.______________________________Readers love Hannah Doyle!'A hilarious read' BELLA'Ultimate beach read' REVEAL'Move over Bridget Jones there's a new girl in town!' GOODREADS REVIEWER ON THE YEAR OF SAYING YES'Omg there is a new Bridget Jones in town!' CLAIRE LOVES TO READ'Loved it' LISA DICKENSON
Just My Type: The HILARIOUS novel from the bestselling author of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES
by Hannah Doyle'I am officially a fan-girl' LUCY VINEThe new bestselling novel from Hannah Doyle, author of the hit rom-com THE YEAR OF SAYING YES, perfect for fans of Love Island, Lucy Vine's What Fresh Hell and Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love. Picked by Closer as a Must Read! He's my type on paper . . . but IRL?Meet Jasmine:- The quirky/cool photographer to a superstar blogger- She's going on a date with a SUPER hot guy on the London Eye tonight- Best friend Mila is her wifey for life- This millennial is #LivingHerBestLifeBut fast-forward a few hours, and the reality isn't quite so picture perfect. Jasmine hates her stuck-up blogger boss. She can barely afford rent in her stupid London flat. Her best friend seems to have all her sh*t together. Oh, and that date she was so excited about? She got dumped. On the London Eye. In the middle of a thunderstorm. With a bunch of tourists watching...Best friend Mila decides that Jasmine needs a new 'type on paper', because Jasmine's current criteria is so off that her dating history is one long line-up of fools. So Mila challenges Jasmine to look once, if not twice, at the guys who wouldn't normally fit her 'type'. With nothing to lose, Jasmine accepts. Maybe, just maybe, she'll surprise herself.______________________________Readers love Hannah Doyle!'A hilarious read' BELLA'Ultimate beach read' REVEAL'Move over Bridget Jones there's a new girl in town!' GOODREADS REVIEWER ON THE YEAR OF SAYING YES'Omg there is a new Bridget Jones in town!' CLAIRE LOVES TO READ'Loved it' LISA DICKENSON
Just My Type: The brand-new HILARIOUS novel from the author of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES
by Hannah Doyle'I am officially a fan-girl.' Lucy Vine, on The Year of Saying YesJUST MY TYPE is the second novel from Hannah Doyle, bestselling author of the laugh-out-loud hit rom-com THE YEAR OF SAYING YES, perfect for fans of Love Island, What Fresh Hell by Lucy Vine, Anna Bell and Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love.He's my type on paper . . . but IRL?Meet Jasmine. - The quirky/cool photographer to a superstar blogger - She's going on a date with a SUPER hot guy on the London Eye tonight - Best friend Mila is her wifey for life - This millennial is #LivingHerBestLife But fast-forward a few hours, and the reality isn't quite so picture perfect. Jasmine hates her stuck-up blogger boss. She can barely afford rent in her stupid London flat. Her best friend seems to have all her sh*t together. Oh, and that date she was so excited about? She got dumped. On the London Eye. In the middle of a thunderstorm. With a bunch of tourists watching... Best friend Mila decides that Jasmine needs a new 'type on paper', because Jasmine's current criteria is so off that her dating history is one long line-up of fools. So Mila challenges Jasmine to look once, if not twice, at the guys who wouldn't normally fit her 'type'. With nothing to lose, Jasmine accepts. Maybe, just maybe, she'll surprise herself.Readers love Hannah Doyle's The Year of Saying Yes:'Move over Bridget Jones there's a new girl in town!' Goodreads reviewer on The Year of Saying Yes'A hilarious read' Bella'Ultimate beach read' Reveal 'Omg there is a new Bridget Jones in town!' Claire Loves To Read'Loved it' Lisa Dickenson
Just My Typo
by Drummond MoirA charming collection of typographical errors, slips of the pen, and embarrassing misprints, Just My Typo celebrates the awful and the sublime mistakes that riddle our feeble human attempts at communication. It's time to accept the truth: typos are everywhere. Legal documents are riddled with errors, headlines of respectable publications are rife with misspellings, and even your favorite books need a few reprints to get everything right. Isn't it time we learned to laugh at our mistakes instead of despairing? Just My Typo is an irresistible collection of the most humorous, mistakenly poignant, and downright awful typos in texts, from the Bible to insurance advertisements to political slogans. Within these pages, you'll travel back in time with great figures from history, such as Sir Francis Drake (who circumcised the world in a small ship) and Rambo (the famous French poet). You'll also find valuable moral instruction ("Blessed are the meek, for they shall irrigate the earth."), and meet politicians who exploit disasters to boost their pubic profiles. Structured according to categories (such as, "To Be or To Be: Typos in Literature"), you'll easily find either a quick laugh or a relaxing--and cringe-inducing--read. A few more of the gems within: · "The Queen pissed graciously over the Menai Bridge." · "I am certain of one thing. Whatever may come between us--and wherever he may be on earth--Arthur will always remember that I love ham." (The Parting, Millicent Hemming) · "Love is just a passing fanny." Editors, proofreaders, and writers everywhere pull their hair out trying to eliminate mistakes, to no avail. Celebrating the humanity of our errors and the timelessness of mistakes, Just My Typo is essential reading for anyone who values the power and peril of the written word.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Just My Typo: From 'sinning with the choir' to 'the large hardon collider'
by Drummond MoirFrom the sublime to the ridiculous, Just My Typo is a hilarious collection of typographical errors, slips of the pen and embarrassing misprints which, like any typo of any kind, should never have happened, cannot be excused, and must not in any way be glorified. Enjoy. You'll travel back in time to meet great figures from history: Sir Francis Drake (who circumcised the world in a small ship), Queen Victoria (who pissed graciously over the Menai Bridge), and Rambo (the famous French poet). You'll find moral instruction ('Blessed are the meek, for they shall irrigate the earth') and pearls of wisdom ('love is just a passing fanny'). You'll be outraged by politicians who exploit disasters to boost their pubic profiles; entranced by lambs that gamble in the fields; concerned for a man who was admitted to hospital suffering from severe buns; and appalled to meet 11-year-old twins Helen and Ugh.
Just My Typo: From 'sinning with the choir' to 'the large hardon collider'
by Drummond MoirFrom the sublime to the ridiculous, Just My Typo is a hilarious collection of typographical errors, slips of the pen and embarrassing misprints which, like any typo of any kind, should never have happened, cannot be excused, and must not in any way be glorified. Enjoy. You'll travel back in time to meet great figures from history: Sir Francis Drake (who circumcised the world in a small ship), Queen Victoria (who pissed graciously over the Menai Bridge), and Rambo (the famous French poet). You'll find moral instruction ('Blessed are the meek, for they shall irrigate the earth') and pearls of wisdom ('love is just a passing fanny'). You'll be outraged by politicians who exploit disasters to boost their pubic profiles; entranced by lambs that gamble in the fields; concerned for a man who was admitted to hospital suffering from severe buns; and appalled to meet 11-year-old twins Helen and Ugh.
Just One More Sleep: All Good Things Come to Those Who Wait . . . and Wait . . . and Wait
by Jamie Lee CurtisIn a celebration of delayed gratification, New York Times bestselling duo Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell give readers a new self-help book for kids that explains why waiting can be wonderful—and can give you a reason to cheer all year round, from New Year's Day to Kwanzaa, and all the holidays in between. <p><p>Just one more sleep…Waiting is not easy—especially for children. Often they measure the concept of time in how many more sleeps until the exciting day comes, when there is so much to do, so many exciting things to explore, and so many holidays to celebrate! <p><p>In a buoyant book that channels childhood exuberance, Jamie Lee Curtis makes it clear why waiting is worth it. And with Laura Cornell&’s bold and humorous artwork helping readers celebrate and appreciate milestones throughout the year, this is a story worth waiting for—and one kids will want to read over and over again. <P><P><i>Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these.</i>