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Kevin the Unicorn: Why Can't We Be Bestie-corns?
by Jessika von InnerebnerKevin the Unicorn learns that you can't force a friendship in this companion to Kevin The Unicorn: It's Not All RainbowsWhen a new unicorn moves in next door, Kevin is certain he's about to make a new magically awesome best friend. After all, everyone loves unicorns (especially other unicorns)! But it turns out Eric loves scary movies (eek!) and clam juice (blech!) and he doesn't like camping or skateboarding or any of the activities Kevin adores. In fact, apart from his sparkly mane and radiant horn, Eric doesn't have all that much in common with Kevin. Could it be that Eric and Kevin aren't destined to be the best of buds?
Key Lardo
by Bruce HaleHold on to your fedoras, Gecko fans: Chet and Natalie have at last met their sleuthing match. That's right--a new detective has arrived at Emerson Hicky Elementary. His name's Bland. James Bland. Bland immediately cracks a case that has baffled Chet and Natalie. Do our favorite PIs get jealous? You'd better believe it! And if this wasn't bad enough, when Bland suddenly goes missing, the blame falls squarely on Chet. The only way for our hero to clear his name is to rescue his tubby rival. It's either that or face a stint behind bars--and we're not talking the jungle gym. This twelfth installment in Bruce Hale's Chet Gecko series is full of the hilarious characters, witty one-liners, and fast-paced mystery that have made Chet a favorite with middle grade readers.
Kick Butt and Other Advice on Aging
by Jerry Van AmerongenKick Butt is a special collection of aging cartoons from the Ballard Street cartoon panel. The droopy people of Ballard Street have an unmistakable, if not energetic, approach to aging that&’s sure to elicit a chuckle from even the moodiest of birthday honorees.Van Amerongen sees &“each cartoon panel as a little movie scene, and we&’re looking at a single frame from a small piece of film—something happened prior to our peek, and something&’s going to happen afterward.&”&“Most cartoonists ignore the graphic possibilities of the comic strip, but Jerry Van Amerongen understands that a picture can be the funniest part of the story. On a comics page crammed with crudely drawn characters who never move, it&’s a pleasure to see Jerry&’s seriously disturbed middle-aged suburbanites. Each panel is deftly composed to let the reader piece together the story behind the caption. Here at last is a strip that&’s fun to look at.&” —Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes
Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence
by Paul FeigThe creator of the cult classic TV series, "Freaks and Geeks," offers a truly hilarious and blisteringly honest look at his real-life high school experiences to which every adult can relate.
Kick the Ball, Marcie!
by Charles M. SchulzIt's football season and Peppermint Patty wants to organize a team. When she tries to teach Marcie how to punt, block, and tackle, the results are hilarious--and painful--as Marcie pulls Peppermint Patty's hair and tackles a tree. Will she ever learn to play football?
Kicking Up Dirt: A True Story of Determination, Deafness, and Daring
by Ashley Fiolek Caroline RyderAt nineteen, Ashley Fiolek is already the top female competitor in a tough men's sport: motocross, a form of off-road motorcycle racing that is one of the most competitive and dangerous extreme sports in the world. Since going pro in late 2007, Fiolek has taken gold at the X Games, won the American Women's Motocross Championship twice, and become the first woman in American motocross history to be signed to a factory team—the highest echelon of industry backing. But Fiolek's rise has not come without obstacles. Fiolek was born profoundly deaf, a handicap that makes everyday life difficult—and competition on the track downright dangerous. Originally misdiagnosed as "mildly retarded," she was a painfully shy and introverted child—until her parents introduced her to the world of dirt bikes, which helped her escape the silence in her head and connect with others who shared her passion. She began racing at seven, and as her successes grew through hard work and no small number of broken bones, so did her confidence.Fiolek has never believed her disability should stand in the way of her dreams. Nor has she allowed her gender to limit her career—motocross historically has been a men's sport, but with the love and support of her dirt-obsessed family, including her "Grandpa Motorcycle," her little brother, Kicker, and her dogs, Turbo and Rocco, Ashley has emerged as one of the sport's most talked-about stars, changing the way the entire industry views women. Armed with her extraordinary talent, contagious grin, and deep faith in God, Fiolek continues to venture into unknown territory, relentlessly pushing herself—and women's motocross—to ever-greater heights.Kicking Up Dirt is a remarkable, inspiring tale of a young woman's courage and determination to succeed in the face of truly challenging obstacles.
Kid Amazing vs. the Blob
by Josh SchneiderKid Amazing’s secret base is equipped with every gadget a superhero needs to defeat evil, but there is one villain who remains elusive—the Blob (a.k.a. his baby sister). Will Kid discover the superpower needed to defeat her before the entire city succumbs to her stink and slime? From Theodor Seuss Geisel Award winner Josh Schneider, this reassuring take on a common childhood issue proves that laughter can defuse even the most epic sibling rivalries.
Kid Christmas Rides Again
by Eric ArvinThese are the epic adventures of Kid Christmas! The unthinkable has happened: the Jolly Old Elf himself keeled over, and the Committee to Oversee the Christening of Kringle (COCK) had to find a replacement. Enter the Kid: a lot more fit, a little less clumsy, and quite a sight in that tight red uniform. His mission to deliver Christmas around the world is threatened as he fights the evil Snow Globes, but all is not lost as he escapes traps, finds love (and more love, and more love) with Johnny Longjohns, and stops at a disco on his quest to reclaim his magic sled, the Claus 3000. Hold on tight: this humorous romp may have you spitting your eggnog!This novella includes the previously released short story Kid Christmas Meets Snow Globes and the original three graphic images by Absolutbleu plus 10,000 words of new erotic adventures and 4 new Absolutbleu illustrations.LOL! No wait, that isn't good enough. ROFLMAO! Yeah that's better. This story is a level of humor that is truly brilliant. Laugh out loud, spray your drink all over, spit through your nose brilliant. The story is hilarious and is filled with every euphemism you can possibly imagine. This is a racy adult tale filled with dirty sexual innuendos and it's rauncy and fun and a laugh riot. I loved the humor and am convinced that Eric is the kind of guy you want to have around when you need a good laugh. ...If you need a good laugh, grab this story for a quick read that will have you rolling on the floor and laughing out loud. - Enigmatically Emily
Kid Swap
by Michael Lawrence Ellis NadlerJiggy is horrified to hear that his parents have signed him up for a reality TV show called Kid Swap. He is to move in with another family and everything he does will be filmed. Sadly, most of what he does while the camera is pointing his way is not the kind of thing he wants to share with millions of total strangers. And then, on top of it all, there's his bizarre skin problem...Find out how Jiggy copes with TV fame andflick the pages for a disgusting dinner!
Kid Swap (Jiggy McCue #10)
by Michael LawrenceJiggy is horrified to hear that his parents have signed him up for a reality TV show called Kid Swap. He is to move in with another family and everything he does will be filmed. Sadly, most of what he does while the camera is pointing his way is not the kind of thing he wants to share with millions of total strangers. And then, on top of it all, there's his bizarre skin problem...Find out how Jiggy copes with TV fame andflick the pages for a disgusting dinner!
Kid in the Crib: A Dr. Seuss Parody
by Lex FriedmanA children’s book for adults in the vein of the mega-bestselling Go the F**k to Sleep, The Kid in the Crib brilliantly reimagines the Dr. Seuss classic, The Cat in the Hat, for beleaguered parents struggling with the anxieties and challenges of parenting in the 21st century. It substitutes the typical worries, frustrations, and challenges of modern parenting for Seuss's original story about a kindly feline and the children he befriends. It lays out the daily power struggle between parents as they each insist that it's the other one's turn to deal with the befouled diaper, and the bleary-headedness that coincides with an infant's sleeping patterns. Parents will chuckle as they read "The kid spat up white/The kid spat up green/The kid spat up more spit up/Than we'd ever seen."This pitch-perfect parody—expertly illustrated by graphic designer Felix Schlater—paints an honest portrait of parenting that will have moms and dads nodding in recognition and howling with laughter. And it is a story that parents will delight in reading, both to each other--and even to their kids someday.
Kid the Goat Won't Wear His Christmas Coat
by Lana StennerThis romping Christmas tale is a kid-approved reminder to wear your winter coat! Lana Stenner of the Grace-Filled Homestead (which is also filled with goats, chickens, and sheep) shares this hilarious story about a young goat who would rather stay in his pajamas than wear his coat at Christmastime.Kid the Goat runs to the Christmas tree to open his presents and saves the biggest for last. What could be inside such a big box? After ripping off—and snacking on—the wrapping paper, Kid opens the box and finds . . . a winter coat. Clothes for Christmas? What a bu-u-ummer! When Kid refuses to wear his coat, Maa-a-a makes Kid stay inside while the rest of the family enjoys Christmas Day outside. How can Kid make ice skating, building snowmen, sledding, and caroling just as fun while inside the house by himself?Filled with cute and cuddly artwork, this relatable and laugh-out-loud rhyming storyis for ages 0 to 4,shows kids the consequences of not dressing for the weather, andis a perfect gift for Christmas and Advent.Grab a copy for your coat-averse children today. They will Totes McGotes love this book!
Kidnapped for His Royal Duty: A Contemporary Royal Romance (Stolen Brides #6)
by Jane PorterHe needs a substitute bride…And she will be his queen!When desert prince Dal’s convenient bride is stolen, he must find a replacement—immediately. Suddenly shy secretary Poppy is kidnapped by her merciless boss and whisked away to his kingdom. She’s shocked to find herself willingly surrendering to his expert seduction! But when it becomes clear that Dal has more than pleasure in mind, will Poppy be persuaded to accept his royal proposal?
Kidnapped! (Forbidden Fantasies)
by Jo LeighOkay, it's certainly an unconventional way for Manhattanheiress Tate Baxter to conquer her fears. But when yourwhole life takes place behind the tinted windows of a limoand your household staff are all gun-toting ex-CIA, drasticmeasures have to be taken. Especially when one memberof that staff has got her all hot and bothered. Chauffeur Michael Caulfield has just one assignment-keeping Tate safe. But when she's kidnapped for real,the only way he can save her is to become a prisonerwith her. He may be just "the help," but as her take-chargeprotector, he's the Michael of her sexual fantasies.Maybe a man she can trust and even dare to love?Except once out of his uniform, he isn't exactly layingbare all his secrets...to Tate.
Kids Are Turds: Brutally Honest Humor for the Pooped-Out Parent
by Jenny SchoberlWhen do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said "Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share. <p><p> Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name.Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby!What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out? <p> Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a "good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!
Kids Are Weird
by Jeffrey BrownAs he's shown in his previous hugely popular books, Jeffrey Brown has a real gift for finding humor in quirky yet universal truths. Now the bestselling author of Darth Vader and Son and Vader's Little Princess brings his witty comic observations to terrestrial parenting in this perceptive book celebrating the more surreal moments of raising a child. In charming colorful panels, Brown wryly illustrates his fiveyear- old son's take on the world around him, from watching TV ("Elton John looks pretty in that shirt") to playing with toys ("This truck can survive on very little water") to odd requests ("Don't feel happy at me"), capturing the sweetly weird times that mothers and fathers everywhere experience with their own curious, pure-minded kids.
Kids Are Weird: And Other Observations from Parenthood
by Jeffrey BrownAs he's shown in his previous hugely popular books, Jeffrey Brown has a real gift for finding humor in quirky yet universal truths. Now the bestselling author of Darth Vader and Son and Vader's Little Princess brings his witty comic observations to terrestrial parenting in this perceptive book celebrating the more surreal moments of raising a child. In charming colorful panels, Brown wryly illustrates his fiveyear- old son's take on the world around him, from watching TV ("Elton John looks pretty in that shirt") to playing with toys ("This truck can survive on very little water") to odd requests ("Don't feel happy at me"), capturing the sweetly weird times that mothers and fathers everywhere experience with their own curious, pure-minded kids.
Kids Pick The Funniest Poems: Poems That Make Kids Laugh (Giggle Poetry)
by Bruce Lansky Stephen CarpenterBetcha laugh!This is one of the most popular collections of funny poetry for kids ever published. It's a classic because it's the first collection of poems selected by kids! It includes clever creations from some of the most popular names in children's poetry, including Bill Dodds, Timothy Tocher, Joyce Armor, Robert Pottle, Bruce Lansky, and Kenn Nesbitt. Humorous illustrations by Stephen Carpenter make this book even better.
Kids' Klangers: The Funny Things That Children Say
by Richard BensonThe world is a confusing place, especially for children, and their innocent observations and questions can be side-splittingly hilarious. They can also be a tiny bit embarrassing if you're, say, behind an elderly gentleman at a busy checkout and your little angel asks you...'is that man all wrinkly because he's been in the bath too long?'
Kids' Klangers: The Funny Things That Children Say
by Richard BensonThe world is a confusing place, especially for children, and their innocent observations and questions can be side-splittingly hilarious. They can also be a tiny bit embarrassing if you're, say, behind an elderly gentleman at a busy checkout and your little angel asks you...'is that man all wrinkly because he's been in the bath too long?'
Kids' Kookiest Riddles
by Steve CharneyWhat do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs. Who did Dracula marry? The girl necks door. With hundreds of hysterical riddles to choose from, theres non-stop amusement. Kids will keep dipping into this kooky, crazy collection, just for laughs. The subjects range from "Bugs, Beasts, and Birds" to "You Could Have Food Me." There are even "Goofball Poems" like this: Its a dogs delight to bark all night,And a nightingales to sing. And if you sit on a red-hot stove,Its the sign of an early spring.Every one is fun.
Kids' Letters to President Bush
by Bill AdlerA humorous, eye-opening look at the American political life as viewed through the children’s correspondence with the president. In this collection of more than three hundred letters to President Bush, kids ask personal questions, offer advice, and tell the president about themselves. Ranging from funny to poignant these letters provide a unique glimpse into the minds of young Americans and offer a fresh view of the White House.
Kids' Letters to President Obama
by Bill Adler Jr.A charming non-partisan collection of more than 200 letters highlighting children's thoughts and perspectives on the historic victory of President Barack Obama and what lies ahead.
Kill All Angels: The Vicious Circuit, Book Three (The Vicious Circuit #3)
by Robert BrockwayThe concluding volume in the humorous punk rock adventure that began with The Unnoticeablesand The Empty Ones. After the events of the first two books of the Vicious Circuit series, Carey and Randall reached LA during the early '80s punk scene, which was heavily mixed up with Chinatown. A young Chinese girl with silver hair is the Empty One that seems to run things there, and her ex-lover, an Empty One named Zang, has apparently turned against them and may or may not be on Carey's side. In modern times, Kaitlyn and company have also returned to LA because her powers have been growing and she has been having visions that may be telling her how to kill all of the angels. The downside being that they have to find a new one, first--and LA is the only place they know where to do that. Steeped in the LA punk scene in the '80s, Chinatown, sunken suburbs, the ocean and gargantuan things that swim in it, Kill All Angels is everything that fans of Robert Brockway's irreverent humor have been looking for to end the series with a bang.The Vicious Circuit TrilogyThe UnnoticeablesThe Empty OnesKill All Angels At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Kill Baxter (Apocalypse Now Now #2)
by Charlie HumanThe world been massively unappreciative of sixteen-year-old Baxter Zevcenko’s efforts. His bloodline may be a combination of ancient Boer mystic and giant shape-shifting crow, and he may have won an inter-dimensional battle and saved the world, but does the world care? No.Instead he’s packed off to Hexpoort, a magical training school for MK6 agents. Part reformatory, part military school, and just like Hogwarts (except with more sex, drugs, and better internet access) Hexpoort is a much bigger game than your average high-school, and has much more dangerous players.An attack on his new school by a dark figure called the Muti Man reunites Baxter with supernatural bounty hunter Jackson ‘Jackie’ Ronin and puts on them on the trail of the Obayifo, a tribe of supernatural media moguls and fashion designers. Together Baxter and Jackie are plunged into the most disgusting, terrifying and dangerous situation they’ve encountered yet: Cape Town Fashion Week.