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Little Vampire Women
by Louisa May Alcott Lynn Messina"Christmas wont be Christmas without any corpses." The dear, sweet March sisters are back, and Marmee has told them to be good little women. Good little vampire women, that is. That's right: Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy have grown up since you last read their tale, and now they have (much) longer lives and (much) more ravenous appetites. Marmee has taught them well, and so they live by an unprecedented moral code of abstinence . . . from human blood. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy must learn to get along with one another, help make society a better place, and avoid the vampire hunters who pose a constant threat to their existence. Plus, Laurie is dying to become a part of the March family, at any cost. Some things never change. This horrifying-and hilarious-retelling of a timeless American classic will leave readers craving the bloodthirsty drama on each and every page.
Little Victories
by Jason GayThe Wall Street Journal's popular columnist Jason Gay delivers a hilarious and heartfelt guide to modern living. "The book you hold in your hand is a rule book. There have been rule books before--stacks upon stacks of them--but this book is unlike any other rule book you have ever read. It will not make you rich in twenty-four hours, or even seventy-two hours. It will not cause you to lose eighty pounds in a week. This book has no abdominal exercises. I have been doing abdominal exercises for most of my adult life, and my abdomen looks like it's always looked. It looks like flan. Syrupy flan. So we can just limit those expectations. This book does not offer a crash diet or a plan for maximizing your best self. I don't know a thing about your best self. It may be embarrassing. Your best self might be sprinkling peanut M&M's onto rest-stop pizza as we speak. I cannot promise that this book is a road map to success. And we should probably set aside the goal of total happiness. There's no such thing. I would, however, like for it to make you laugh. Maybe think. I believe it is possible to find, at any age, a new appreciation for what you have--and what you don't have--as well as for the people closest to you. There's a way to experience life that does not involve a phone, a tablet, a television screen. There's also a way to experience life that does not involve eating seafood at the airport, because you should really never eat seafood at the airport. Like the title says, I want us all to achieve little victories. I believe that happiness is derived less from a significant single accomplishment than it is from a series of successful daily maneuvers. Maybe it's the way you feel when you walk out the door after drinking six cups of coffee, or surviving a family vacation, or playing the rowdy family Thanksgiving touch football game, or just learning to embrace that music at the gym. Accomplishments do not have to be large to be meaningful. I think little victories are the most important ones in life." -- From the Introduction From the Hardcover edition.
Little Weirds
by Jenny SlateHello! <P><P>I looked into my brain and found a book. Here it is. Inside you will find: <br>The smell of honeysuckle <br>Depression <br>A French-kissing rabbit <br>A haunted house <br>Death <br>A vagina singing sad old songs <br>Young geraniums in an ancient castle <br>Birth <br>A dog who appears in dreams as a spiritual guide <br>Divorce <br>Emotional horniness <br>The ghost of a sea captain <br>And more I hope you enjoy these little weirds. <P><P>Love,Jenny Slate <P><P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
Little Weirds
by Jenny Slate'Magical . . . Each essay feels like a vivid, cinematic experience' MINDY KALING 'Delicious' AMY SEDARIS 'Funny and poignant and beautiful' JOHN MULANEY 'It made me remember I was alive' GEORGE SAUNDERS To see the world through Jenny Slate's eyes is to see it as though for the first time, shimmering with strangeness and possibility. As she will remind you, we live on an ancient ball that rotates around a bigger ball made up of lights and gases that are science gases, not farts (don't be immature). Heartbreak, confusion and misogyny stalk this blue-green sphere, yes, but it is also a place of wild delight and unconstrained vitality, a place where we can start living as soon as we are born, and we can be born at any time. In her dazzling, impossible-to-categorize debut, Jenny channels the pain and beauty of life in writing so fresh, so new and so burstingly alive, we catch her vision like a fever and bring it back out into the bright day with us, and everything has changed.
Little Weirds: 'Magical . . . full of original observations and unexpected laughs' Mindy Kaling
by Jenny Slate'Magical' MINDY KALING'Funny and poignant and beautiful' JOHN MULANEY 'It made me remember I was alive' GEORGE SAUNDERS To see the world through Jenny Slate's eyes is to see it as though for the first time, shimmering with strangeness and possibility. As she will remind you, we live on an ancient ball that rotates around a bigger ball made up of lights and gases that are science gases, not farts (don't be immature). Heartbreak, confusion and misogyny stalk this blue-green sphere, yes, but it is also a place of wild delight and unconstrained vitality, a place where we can start living as soon as we are born, and we can be born at any time. In her dazzling, impossible-to-categorize debut, Jenny channels the pain and beauty of life in writing so fresh, so new and so burstingly alive, we catch her vision like a fever and bring it back out into the bright day with us, and everything has changed.'Delicious' AMY SEDARIS 'Slate invites us for a glorious swim inside her imagination as she explores romance, heartbreak and self-love in this poetry-memoir-fiction mash-up' PEOPLE'I couldn't help but feel that it was written by a friend for me' VANITY FAIR
Little White Lies
by Bernadette StrachanJilted bride Billie Baskerville is summoned by her Aunt Barbara to remotest Sussex Aunt Babs is going to Australia on a OAP-GAP year, and needs Billie to take over running her shop... her wedding dress shop. Putting a cynical, groom-hating, wedding-loathing, bride-detesting girl in charge of a bridal boutique might seem a little rash, but before long Billie cant help but get swept away by the romance of the whole thing, and by village life. She gives the shop a much-needed makeover, reunites lovers - not to mention longlost relatives - and starts rebuilding her own life. Its all starting to look up, even if her family are crazy, her gay best friend is the talk of the village, and Billie is still emailing her ex. Enter, stage left, a very handsome firefighter....
Little White Lies
by Bernadette StrachanJilted bride Billie Baskerville is summoned by her Aunt Barbara to remotest Sussex Aunt Babs is going to Australia on a OAP-GAP year, and needs Billie to take over running her shop... her wedding dress shop. Putting a cynical, groom-hating, wedding-loathing, bride-detesting girl in charge of a bridal boutique might seem a little rash, but before long Billie cant help but get swept away by the romance of the whole thing, and by village life. She gives the shop a much-needed makeover, reunites lovers - not to mention longlost relatives - and starts rebuilding her own life. Its all starting to look up, even if her family are crazy, her gay best friend is the talk of the village, and Billie is still emailing her ex. Enter, stage left, a very handsome firefighter....
Little White Lies
by F. Bowman Hastie Brianna BakerSeventeen-year-old honors student Coretta White's Tumblr, Little White Lies--her witty thoughts on pretty much . . . everything--has gone viral. She's got hundreds of thousands of followers; she's even been offered a TV deal. But Coretta has a secret. She hasn't been writing all her own posts. Stressed from the demands of the sudden attention, she hired an expert ghostwriter, forty-one-year-old Karl Ristoff, to keep the Tumblr going. Now consumed with guilt, she confesses.Almost instantly, she suffers a public humiliation. The TV deal disappears. Her boyfriend breaks up with her. Then Karl is thrust into the limelight, only to suffer a dramatic fall himself. Together, they vow to find out who is responsible for ruining both of their lives, and why. But in order to exact justice and a wicked revenge, they must first come clean with each other.From the Hardcover edition.self. Ultimately the two join forces to find out who is responsible for ruining both of their lives . . . someone who might have even had the power to fuel their success in the first place. And to exact justice and a clever revenge, they must truly come clean to each other.
Little White Lies and Butterflies: A Perfect Heart-Warming Romantic Read
by Suzie TullettThis romantic comedy about finding your place in the world “will make you laugh out loud and warm your heart from start to finish” (Books of All Kinds).Lydia knows first-hand that “having it all” isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.As far as she’s concerned, when it comes to job versus family, it’s a case of one or the other. And whilst most women her age have spent years climbing the corporate ladder, she’s made a career out of bagging her perfect man. Now, nearly thirty and still single, Lydia wonders if she’d made the right choice.Realising the time has come to take stock, she goes against her family’s wishes and decides to travel, in the hope of finding a new direction. At least that’s the plan.So when Sam comes along, she decides to tell a little white lie, re-inventing herself as a professional chef—not exactly the best new identity for a woman who can’t cook. But the truth can’t stay hidden for long and when her family show up unexpectedly things go from bad to worse . . .“The perfect read for anytime of the year . . . filled with fun and romance that readers will devour.” —By the Letter Book Reviews“A light-hearted read with some truly wonderful, memorable characters.” —The Writing Garnet
Little White Lies: A Novel of Love and Good Intentions
by Gemma TownleyFrom the author of the topseller "When in Rome . . . " comes a new novel about finding true love after opening someone else's mail.
Little Wings #1: Willa Bean's Cloud Dreams (Little Wings #1)
by Cecilia Galante Kristi ValiantCecilia Galante, the author of The Patron Saint of Butterflies, makes her Stepping Stones debut with a sweet series about a lovable curly-haired cupid.Most cupids have soft straight hair, rosy cheeks, and silky white wings. Not Willa Bean! She has a crazy mess of hair, a million-bajillion freckles, and bright purple wings with silver tips. And lately those bright purple wings with silver tips have been giving Willa Bean an awful lot of problems. They won't fly! Cupid Academy is starting soon, and what if she's the only cloudbound cupid there? Nope, nope, nopeity, nope. Willa Bean just has to make her wings behave!From the Trade Paperback edition.
Little Wings #2: Be Brave, Willa Bean! (Little Wings #2)
by Cecilia Galante Kristi ValiantCecilia Galante, the author of The Patron Saint of Butterflies, makes her Stepping Stones debut with a sweet series about a lovable curly-haired cupid.Willa Bean is all wiggly with excitement. Her best friend Harper is coming for a sleepover! Willa Bean wants to make Snoogy Bars and play tricks on her big sister. But Harper has a different idea. She wants to go for a night flight. Willa Bean is not okay with that. Why? Willa Bean is scared of two things . . . flying up high . . . and the dark!From the Trade Paperback edition.
Little Wings #4: The One and Only Willa Bean (Little Wings #4)
by Cecilia Galante Kristi ValiantCecilia Galante's sweet series about a lovable curly-haired cupid soars on in book #4.Every cupid has a one-of-a-kind flying friend, right? Wrong! Willa Bean has Snooze, an owl, but the new girl in school, Lucy, has an owl, too! And Lucy's owl is bigger, and maybe even smarter, than Snooze. What if Mr. Wingston overshadows Snooze at Noble Nimbus Day? Nope, nope, nope-ity nope. Willa Bean has to make sure Snooze is the best owl at Cupid Academy!
Little Witch Goes to School (Step into Reading)
by Deborah HautzigLittle Witch goes to school for the first time and takes her classmates on a broomstick ride.
Little Women and Werewolves
by Louisa May Alcott Porter GrandA literary landmark--the original, suppressed draft of the classic novel! Little Women is a timeless classic. But Louisa May Alcott's first draft--before her editor sunk his teeth into it--was even better. Now the original text has at last been exhumed. In this uncensored version, the March girls learn some biting lessons, transforming from wild girls into little women--just as their friends and neighbors transform into vicious, bloodthirsty werewolves! Here are tomboy Jo, quiet Beth, ladylike Amy, and good-hearted Meg, plus lovable neighbor Laurie Laurence, now doomed to prowl the night on all fours, maiming and devouring the locals. As the Civil War rages, the girls learn the value of being kind, the merits of patience and grace, and the best way to stab a supernatural creature in the heart and cut off his ugly, slavering head. By turns heartwarming and blood-curdling, this rejuvenated classic will be cherished and treasured by those who love a lesson in virtue almost as much as they enjoy a good old-fashioned dismemberment. Includes the original letter from Alcott's editor, telling her not to even think about it!
Little, Big
by John CrowleyEdgewood is many houses, all put inside each other, or across each other. It's filled with and surrounded by mystery and enchantment: the further in you go, the bigger it gets. Smoky Barnable, who has fallen in love with Daily Alice Drinkwater, comes to Edgewood, her family home, where he finds himself drawn into a world of magical strangeness.Crowley's work has a special alchemy - mixing the world we know with an imagined world which seems more true and real. Winner of the WORLD FANTASY AWARD, LITTLE, BIG is eloquent, sensual, funny and unforgettable, a true Fantasy Masterwork.Winner of the WORLD FANTASY AWARD FOR BEST NOVEL, 1982.
Live Alone And Like It (Virago Modern Classics #206)
by Marjorie HillisWho can resist a book with chapters such as 'A Lady and Her Liquor', 'Pleasures of a Single Bed' and 'Solitary Refinement'? In this priceless gem from a more genteel age, Marjorie Hillis provides no-nonsense advice for the single-but-hoping-not-to-be woman. 'This book is no brief for living alone. Five out of ten of the people who do so can't help themselves, and at least three of the others are irritatingly selfish. But the chances are that at some time in your life, possibly only now and then between husbands, you will find yourself settling down to a solitary existence . . . The point is that there is a technique about living alone successfully, as there is about doing anything really well. Whether you view your one-woman menage as Doom or Adventure, you need a plan, if you are going to make the best of it'And, lest you worry about how to put all the advice into practice, every chapter includes a case study providing examples of women who heeded -- and women who disregarded -- these golden rules.
Live Each Day to the Dumbest (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two)
by Jim BentonNew York Times–Bestselling Author: Middle schooler Jamie Kelly spends lots of time writing in her diary—but right now she’s taking a peek at someone else’s . . . It’s not easy being a middle-schooler, and nobody knows that better than Jamie Kelly. There are surprises around every corner: some good, some bad, all dumb. But when Jamie inherits a trunk of her grandmother’s things, she never expects to find the biggest surprise of all—Grandma’s diary. Violating the privacy of a diary is something Jamie would never do . . . unless she was absolutely certain that she wanted to do it. And when she does, she learns that, deep down, everyone is exactly the same. Dumb. By the way, Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don’t tell her. And definitely don’t tell her that she’s the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on streaming. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)
Live Free and Eat Pie: A Storyteller's Guide To New Hampshire
by Rebecca RuleAnyone who hopes to visit or has visited New Hampshire, and, heck, even anyone who LIVES there, will delight in this hilarious guide to the Granite State. Popular New Hampshire storyteller Rebecca Rule provides her interpretation of the state's history, culture, climate, attractions, vernacular, and more!
Live From Golgotha
by Gore VidalTimothy (later St. Timothy) is in his study in Thessalonika, where he is bishop of Macedonia. It is A.D. 96, and Timothy is under terrific pressure to record his version of the Sacred Story, since, far in the future, a cyberpunk (the Hacker) has been systematically destroying the tapes that describe the Good News, and Timothy's Gospel is the only one immune to the Hacker's deadly virus. Meanwhile, thanks to a breakthrough in computer software, an NBC crew is racing into the past to capture—live from the suburb of Golgotha—the Crucifixion, for a TV special guaranteed to boost the network's ratings in the fall sweeps. As a stream of visitors from twentieth-century America channel in to the first-century Holy Land—Mary Baker Eddy, Shirley MacLaine, Oral Roberts and family—Timothy struggles to complete his story. But is Timothy's text really Hacker-proof? And how will he deal with the truth about Jesus' eating disorder? Above all, will he get the anchor slot for the Big Show at Golgotha without representation by a major agency, like CAA 1,896 years in the future? Tune in.
Live Like a Vulcan, Love Like a Wookiee, Laugh Like a Hobbit: Life Lessons from Pop Culture
by Robb PearlmanMuch like a dragon-guarded mountain filled with stolen dwarf gold, Pop Culture is far more than just a side quest or afternoon&’s entertainment: it contains a veritable treasure trove overflowing with life lessons. If there&’s one takeaway from more than 40 years of Scooby-Doo mysteries, it&’s that the vast majority of life&’s villains are old white men using literal scare tactics to hold on to whatever privilege they have; Stranger Things taught us that any group of bike-riding kids are either running from or toward a vast governmental conspiracy; The Wizard of Oz proved that fashion can only take you so far; The Lord of the Rings showed us not only about the power of statement jewelry but that gifts come with strings attached; and Jaws was evidence that no matter how prepared you think you are, you should always expect the unexpected. This modern-day fable takes the best elements of My Dinner With Andre, The Big Bang Theory, and How to Make Friends and Influence People, to tell the story of three cosplaying friends sharing what they have learned from their favorite (and hated) movies, series, and games in a cafe after a day of walking the halls of a convention center. Live Like a Vulcan, Love Like a Wookiee, Laugh Like a Hobbit invites readers to a never-before-seen and slightly skewed look at the most memorable moments in films, shows, books, comic books, graphic novels, and video games. By the end of this pop-culture tour, fans of all ages will be given more inside knowledge than could ever be gotten at a comic convention, more self-help tools than can fit into any utility belt, more treasures than can be found in a cave of wonders, and more smiles than can be seen on any joker&’s face.
Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
by Dave BarryDuring the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom,* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on--to the next generation, the generation after that, and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience. In brilliant, brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner's permit in 2015 ("So you're about to start driving! How exciting! I'm going to kill myself"). He explores the hometown of his youth, where the grown-ups were supposed to be uptight fifties conformists, but seemed to have a lot of un-Mad Men-like fun, unlike Dave's own Baby Boomer generation, which was supposed to be wild and crazy, but somehow turned into neurotic hover-parents. He dives into everything from the inanity of cable news and the benefits of Google Glass ("You will look like a douchebag") to the loneliness of high school nerds ("You will never hear a high school girl say about a boy, in a dreamy voice, 'He's so sarcastic!'"), from the perils of home repair to firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin's Russia ("He stares at the camera with the expression of a man who relaxes by strangling small furry animals"), and a lot more besides. By the end, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, more attuned to the universe . . . we wouldn't be at all surprised. But you'll have had a lot to laugh about!From the Hardcover edition.
Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster): Life Lessons and Other Ravings from Dave Barry
by Dave BarryDuring the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom,* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on--to the next generation, the generation after that, and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience. In brilliant, brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner's permit in 2015 ("So you're about to start driving! How exciting! I'm going to kill myself"). He explores the hometown of his youth, where the grown-ups were supposed to be uptight fifties conformists, but seemed to have a lot of un-Mad Men-like fun, unlike Dave's own Baby Boomer generation, which was supposed to be wild and crazy, but somehow turned into neurotic hover-parents. He dives into everything from the inanity of cable news and the benefits of Google Glass ("You will look like a douchebag") to the loneliness of high school nerds ("You will never hear a high school girl say about a boy, in a dreamy voice, 'He's so sarcastic!'"), from the perils of home repair to firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin's Russia ("He stares at the camera with the expression of a man who relaxes by strangling small furry animals"), and a lot more besides. By the end, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, more attuned to the universe . . . we wouldn't be at all surprised. But you'll have had a lot to laugh about!From the Hardcover edition.
Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories
by Kelly RipaA sharp, funny, and honest collection of real-life stories from Kelly Ripa, showing the many dimensions and crackling wit of the beloved daytime talk show host. <p><p>In Live Wire, her first book, Kelly shows what really makes her tick. As a professional, as a wife, as a daughter and as a mother, she brings a hard-earned wisdom and an eye for the absurdity of life to every minute of every day. It is her relatability in all of these roles that has earned her fans worldwide and millions of followers on social media. Whether recounting how she and Mark really met, the level of chauvinism she experienced on set, how Jersey Pride follows her wherever she goes, and many, many moments of utter mortification (whence she proves that you cannot, in fact, die of embarrassment) Kelly always tells it like it is. Ms. Ripa takes no prisoners. <p><p>Surprising, at times savage, a little shameless and always with humor… Live Wire shows Kelly as she really is offscreen—a very wise woman who has something to say. <p> <b>New York Times Bestseller</b>
Live a Little: A Novel
by Howard JacobsonFrom Man Booker Prize-winning author of The Finkler Question and J, and one of 'our funniest writers alive' (Allison Pearson): a wickedly observed novel of old age and new love. At the age of ninety-something, Beryl Dusinbery is forgetting everything – including her own children. She spends her days stitching morbid samplers and tormenting her two long-suffering carers, Nastya and Euphoria, with tangled stories of her husbands and love affairs. Shimi Carmelli can do up his own buttons, walks without the aid of a frame and speaks without spitting. Among the widows of North London, he’s whispered about as the last of the eligible bachelors. Unlike Beryl, he forgets nothing – especially not the shame of a childhood incident that has hung over him ever since. There’s very little life remaining for either of them, but perhaps just enough to heal some of the hurt inflicted along the way, and find new meaning in what’s left. Told with Jacobson’s trademark wit and style, Live a Little is equal parts funny, irreverent and tender – a novel to make you consider all the paths not taken, and whether you could still change course. Advance praise for Live a Little“One of the great comic geniuses of our time.”—Lit Hub“A tender story of unlikely love . . . Jacobson treats with compassion the dilemma of old age. . . . Wise, witty, and deftly crafted.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)“For all of its moments of bleakness, and the occasional flicker of genuine terror, it’s rarely less than bitterly funny in its determination to face up to the obliteration that awaits us all.”—The Guardian“What a relief to come on a novel which invites you to smile and even laugh.”—The Scotsman“The novel’s brilliant cover tells it all: hearts and skulls, love and death.”—The Jewish Chronicle“A thoroughly enjoyable read. For a literature snob and a language obsessive . . . there is a lot to feast on . . . for someone looking for an emotionally honest storyline, the book also delivers. Live a Little is about growing old, but it’s also about gender, race, love and politics.”—Independent“Tender and funny.”—Grazia