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My Conference Can Beat Your Conference: Why the SEC Still Rules College Football
by Gene Wojciechowski Paul FinebaumAn all-access pass into the powerhouse teams and passionate fanbases of the legendary Southeastern Conference, from one of the most influential men in college football: ESPN’s Paul Finebaum.Proud owner of 14 prestigious college football programs, producing seven consecutive national championships, twelve NFL first round draft choices, and a budget that crushes the GDP of Samoa, the Southeastern Conference collects the most coveted ratings, rankings, and revenue of any conference in college football. With its pantheon of illustrious alumni like Bear Bryant, Herschel Walker, Peyton Manning, and Nick Saban, the SEC is the altar at which millions of Americans worship every Saturday, from Texas to Kentucky to Florida.If the SEC is a religion, its deity is radio talk-show host Paul Finebaum. In My Conference Can Beat Your Conference, Finebaum, chronicles the rise of the SEC and his own unlikely path to college football fame. Finebaum offers his blunt wisdom on everything from Joe Paterno and the Penn State scandal to the relevancy of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron’s girlfriend, and chronicles the best of his beloved callers, and the worst of his haters.
My Cousin Maria Schneider
by Vanessa Schneider"Lovingly written" Deborah Harry"An exquisite portrait of a tragic heroine" Violaine HuismanA spare, heartbreaking memoir and tribute to Maria Schneider, the 1970s movie starlet who catapulted to fame in the controversial film Last Tango in Paris-only to live the rest of her life plagued by scandal-as told from the perspective of her adoring younger cousin.The late French actress Maria Schneider is perhaps best known for playing Jeanne in the provocative film Last Tango in Paris, directed by Bernardo Bertolucci and released to international shock and acclaim in 1972. It was Maria's first major role, alongside film legend Marlon Brando, when she was barely eighteen years old. The experience would haunt her for the rest of her life, traumatizing her and sparking a tabloid firestorm that only ceased when she began to retreat from the public eye nearly two decades later.To Maria's much younger cousin, Vanessa Schneider, Maria was a towering figure of another kind-a beautiful and fearsome fixture in Vanessa's childhood, a rising star turned pariah whose career and struggles with addiction won the family shame and pride in equal measure. Here, Vanessa recounts the challenges of their overlapping youths and fraught adulthood and reveals both the tragedy and inevitability of Maria's path in a family plagued by mental illness and in a society rife with misogyny.Unsentimental and suffused with deep love, My Cousin Maria Schneider is the story of a talented artist and the cousin who admired her, and of exploitation and how its lingering effects can reverberate through a lifetime.
My Cup Runneth Over
by Cherry WhytockI'm, um, LARGE. Yes, "large" just about covers it, although to be quite honest, not many things do -- cover it, I mean. Angelica Cookson Potts, better known as Angel, loves food, both cooking it and eating it, and plans to be a famous chef someday. But she thinks she's just too big -- her mother is a skinny ex-model, her best friends are all smaller than she is, and she feels like a huge, wobbly whale in comparison. In addition to food, Angel also loves Jamie Oliver (the Naked Chef) and Adam (who doesn't know she's alive). In order to get Adam's attention, she tries making major Life Changes, including a cabbage-only diet that has...well, explosive results. Through it all her best friends, Minnie, Portia, and Mercedes, are there with her, and when the school fashion show comes around, Angel discovers that her size might not be such a bad thing after all. Everyone knows an Angel, and readers will laugh out loud at her take on life. Angel's own recipes are included so that other "foodies" can cook along with her.
My Cup Runneth Over: The Life of Angelica Cookson Potts
by Cherry WhytockI'm, um, LARGE.Yes, "large" just about covers it,although to be quite honest,not many things do -- cover it,I mean.Angelica Cookson Potts, better known as Angel, loves food, both cooking it and eating it, and plans to be a famous chef someday. But she thinks she's just too big -- her mother is a skinny ex-model, her best friends are all smaller than she is, and she feels like a huge, wobbly whale in comparison. In addition to food, Angel also loves Jamie Oliver (the Naked Chef) and Adam (who doesn't know she's alive). In order to get Adam's attention, she tries making major Life Changes, including a cabbage-only diet that has...well, explosive results. Through it all her best friends, Minnie, Portia, and Mercedes, are there with her, and when the school fashion show comes around, Angel discovers that her size might not be such a bad thing after all.Everyone knows an Angel, and readers will laugh out loud at her take on life. Angel's own recipes are included so that other "foodies" can cook along with her.
My Dad Is a Bro
by The Editors of BroBible.comDAD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN A BRO'S LIFE. He teaches you how to swing a baseball bat, grill a steak, and master a stick shift. Dad helps you laugh off a breakup, guides you on big decisions, and doesn't tell your Mom when he catches you hooking up with a girl--yet still warns you to "wrap it up" because he's "not ready to be a grandfather." The apple doesn't fall far from the tree . . . when it comes to being a Bro. Loaded with hundreds of hilarious, never-before-seen photos and based on the wildly popular photo blog from the editors of BroBible.com, the ultimate destination for Bros, MY DAD IS A BRO captures the epic Bro hijinks and conquests of Dads everywhere. Whether he's puffing on a cigar, executing a keg stand, fishing for a trophy, posing with cheerleaders, or running the table in beer pong--celebrate the old man at his Bro-est. Nothing says father-son bonding like the time-honored tradition of shot-gunning a fresh brew.
My Dad Is a Bro
by The Editors of BroBible.comDAD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN A BRO'S LIFE. He teaches you how to swing a baseball bat, grill a steak, and master a stick shift. Dad helps you laugh off a breakup, guides you on big decisions, and doesn't tell your Mom when he catches you hooking up with a girl--yet still warns you to "wrap it up" because he's "not ready to be a grandfather." The apple doesn't fall far from the tree . . . when it comes to being a Bro. Loaded with hundreds of hilarious, never-before-seen photos and based on the wildly popular photo blog from the editors of BroBible.com, the ultimate destination for Bros, MY DAD IS A BRO captures the epic Bro hijinks and conquests of Dads everywhere. Whether he's puffing on a cigar, executing a keg stand, fishing for a trophy, posing with cheerleaders, or running the table in beer pong--celebrate the old man at his Bro-est. Nothing says father-son bonding like the time-honored tradition of shot-gunning a fresh brew.
My Dad Is a Unicorn! (My Life is Weird)
by Bill CanterburyYou think your family is weird? What if your dad was a unicorn?! Fans of the magical creatures in the "How to Catch a" series will love this new super-silly picture book that celebrates how ALL families are weird.Unicorn Dad gets his necktie stuck on his horn, fixes math homework with glitter, and is obsessed with his mane shampoo. But his day job is the coolest: battling trolls and goblins in magical lands. And his son gets to come along to help!Young readers will laugh out loud following this unusual father-son team as they fly off on adventures in a funny and warm new picture book, the start of an exciting series.With page after page of jokes, puns, and visual gags, this story's humor is perfect for families to read together. It's a book kids will want to go back to over and over. And it makes a perfect gift! And check out more weird families in: My Mom Is a Mermaid!
My Dad and Me (Mr. Men and Little Miss)
by Roger HargreavesTell your dad how much you love him in this sweet and fun book with the characters from Mr. Men Little Miss, perfect for Father's Day! From reading you books in silly voices to carrying you when you're tired, dads are Funny, Happy, Strong, and Cool--lots of the Mr. Men rolled into one! This book featuring the Mr. Men characters will help you show your dad just how special he is to you.The perfect book for Father's Day, a new dad, a father's birthday--or for anytime you want to say I love you. Readers can also add their own words about their dads at the end of the book to make it a special, personalized gift.
My Dad and the Toot that Shook the Galaxy
by Matt Coyne"One small toot for man, one giant butt-blast for man-kind."All aboard the Butt Force Two! Blast through the galaxy and back again in this TOOT-ally hilarious rhyming romp following the most destructive fart to ever be farted! When Eddie's dad lets off an EARTH-SHATTERING fart, they know it's about to take the universe by stinky storm. And only they can stop it . . .Get ready for a toot-acular, rip-roaring, out-of-this-world adventure to catch the powerful parp!Perfect for children (and adults) who love a little potty-humour! Written - but not inspired by - Matt Coyne, bestselling author and creator of the Man vs. Baby blog, with EXPLOSIVE artwork by Richard Merritt.The perfect gift for tooting dads everywhere!Praise for Matt Coyne:'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror'Very, very funny' This Morning
My Dad and the Toot that Shook the World
by Matt CoyneThe perfect Father's Day gift for tooting dads everywhere! All aboard the Butt Force One! Travel the world and back again in this TOOT-ally hilarious rhyming romp following the most destructive fart to ever be farted! When Eddie's dad lets off a ground-shakingly shocking fart, they know it's about to take the world by stinky storm. And only they can stop it . . .Get ready for a toot-acular, rip-roaring, globe-spanning adventure to catch the powerful parp!Perfect for children (and adults) who love a little potty-humour! Written by - but not inspired by - Matt Coyne, bestselling author and creator of the Man vs. Baby blog, with EXPLOSIVE illustrations by Richard Merritt.Praise for Matt Coyne:'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror'Very, very funny' This Morning'Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph
My Dark Romeo
by L.J. Shen Parker S. HuntingtonHe's my dark Romeo... but this isn't a love story.It was supposed to be a harmless kiss at a lavish debutante ball.A clandestine moment with a handsome stranger.But unlike his namesake, my Romeo isn't driven by love.He's fueled by revenge.To him, I'm a chess piece. Leverage.His rival's betrothed.To me, he is a man deserving of poison.A dark prince I refuse to marry.He thinks I'll accept my fate.Well, I plan to rewrite it.And in my story, Juliet doesn't die.But Romeo? He perishes.Perfect for fans of Lauren Asher and Ana Huang, My Dark Romeo is a standalone reluctant arranged marriage romance set in the decadent Dark Prince Road world.
My Date My Story: True Stories of Modern Dating, Sex, and Heartbreak
by Jesse SternThe stories, questions, and aftermath of relationships, from real people around the world. Romance is hard work. It can also be exhilarating, amusing, weird, crazy, and simply exhausting. We’ve all had our share of awkward and uncomfortable dates (and some amazing ones) as well as mystifying and confusing break-ups.Born out of the viral KoreVoices storytelling project, thousands of stories have poured in from all over the world. The submissions cover every aspect of dating—crushes, heartbreak, uncertainty, guilt, a never-ending array of bizarre situations, and the long road to healing.Technology is playing an enormous role in changing the way we meet, date, and interact with one another. It has forced people to think differently and expect the unexpected anytime they step out for a date. This book tells the story of modern-day romance through the words of those who are experiencing it first-hand.
My Dear Duchess (The Dukes and Desires Series #5)
by M. C. BeatonFor a desperate Duke and a runaway lady, a marriage of convenience becomes the adventure of a lifetime in this delightful Regency romance.Henry Wright, the Duke of Westerland, is in desperate need of a wife. Without one, the dashing bachelor will lose the legacy he desires. Luckily, with time running out, he finds a young woman who is equally in need of a husband.Lovely but sheltered Miss Frederica Sayers has finally escaped from her cruel and callous family. But after her brazen act of bravery, she fears that a life of shame awaits her…unless she accepts a stranger’s proposal.Their marriage would appear to solve everything. But soon the duke discovers he has a duchess he cannot tame. And the duchess decides she would rather lose her spotless reputation than lose the duke to another woman . . .
My Demon Hunter (Hell Bent)
by Aurora AscherFor fans of Jenna Levine and K.F. Breene, the steamy, laugh-out-loud paranormal romance about learning how to love—including the darkest parts of ourselves—complete with HEA, clothes-ripping-hot love scenes, and a crew of devilish demon brothers who are supposed to be the bad guys . . . From the instant New York Times bestselling author of SANCTUARY OF THE SHADOW!The hunter shall become the hunted . . . And the timid shall become the fierce. Enslaved to an evil demon queen for millennia, Mishetsumephtai has only ever served one purpose. He is the Hunter, the one who drags the guilty back to Hell. But finally tasting freedom on Earth has changed him, and for the first time, Mist questions his duty. The human femalewho smiles at him with no idea what a monster he is, draws him in, and he&’ll do anything to possess her. Lily Donovan thought the most dangerous thing about running to the corner store at night would be the aisles of junk food. She didn&’t bargain on encountering chaos in the form of a man with unusual tattoos and beguiling amber eyes, stalking her through the ice cream section. Since the death of her parents, Lily has tried to forget what she is. But denial is not an option when she&’s confronted with everything she&’s been running from. Neither Mist nor Lily can ignore the burning magnetism between them. But Mist&’s reprieve from Hell was always temporary, and the punishment for disobedience will be worse than death. Yet he can&’t relinquish the woman whose scent calls to him like nothing he&’s hunted before.
My Diary from the Edge of the World
by Jodi Lynn AndersonTold in diary form by an irresistible heroine, this playful and perceptive novel from the New York Times bestselling author of the May Bird trilogy sparkles with science, myth, magic, and the strange beauty of the everyday marvels we sometimes forget to notice. Spirited, restless Gracie Lockwood has lived in Cliffden, Maine, her whole life. She's a typical girl in an atypical world: one where sasquatches helped to win the Civil War, where dragons glide over Route 1 on their way south for the winter (sometimes burning down a T.J. Maxx or an Applebee's along the way), where giants hide in caves near LA and mermaids hunt along the beaches, and where Dark Clouds come for people when they die. To Gracie it's all pretty ho-hum...until a Cloud comes looking for her little brother Sam, turning her small-town life upside down. Determined to protect Sam against all odds, her parents pack the family into a used Winnebago and set out on an epic search for a safe place that most people say doesn't exist: The Extraordinary World. It's rumored to lie at the ends of the earth, and no one has ever made it there and lived to tell the tale. To reach it, the Lockwoods will have to learn to believe in each other--and to trust that the world holds more possibilities than they've ever imagined.
My Dining Hell: Twenty Ways to Have a Lousy Night Out
by Jay RaynerI have been a restaurant critic for over a decade, written reviews of well over 700 establishments, and if there is one thing I have learned it is that people like reviews of bad restaurants. No, scratch that. They adore them, feast upon them like starving vultures who have spotted fly-blown carrion out in the bush. They claim otherwise, of course. Readers like to present themselves as private arbiters of taste; as people interested in the good stuff. I'm sure they are. I'm sure they really do care whether the steak was served au point as requested or whether the souffle had achieved a certain ineffable lightness. And yet, when I compare dinner to bodily fluids, the room to an S & M chamber (only without the glamor or class), and the bill to an act of grand larceny, why, then the baying crowd is truly happy. Don't believe me? Then why, presented with the chance to buy this ebook filled with accounts of twenty restaurants - their chefs, their owners, their poor benighted front of house staff - getting a complete stiffing courtesy of the sort of vitriolic bloody-curdling review which would make the victims call for their mothers, did you seize it with both hands?
My Dinosaur Is More Awesome!
by Simon CosterWhen Joel and Olivia sit down to dinner, with two of their favorite dinosaurs, Olivia can't help but point out that her dinosaur is better. Olivia's dinosaur can play the trumpet while riding her bike, and her house is in the shape of a rabbit. Her dinosaur can make her own jam, and she even eats electric eels. But Joel's dinosaur can swim like a shark, and his teeth sometimes glow in the dark. And he's really good at jumping and sliding on his knees, he has x-ray vision, and he's not afraid of bees. Of course, with so many impressive qualities, it's hard to say which dinosaur is really better, but things get even trickier when a third dinosaur joins them at the dinner table. What could be more fearsome than a dinosaur that once ate a volcano and wears slippers the color of rainbows?The wonderfully funny, imaginative, and vibrant illustrations are perfectly matched to this new take on a dinosaur story, and the loosely rhyming text is hilarious and unexpected. With a battle unlike any dinosaur fight you've seen before, this book is perfect for all dinosaur lovers, siblings, and parents alike. Simon Coster's debut picture book is a worthwhile addition to any child's library and is sure to get some giggles during story time.
My Documents: A Novel
by Kevin NguyenThe paths of four family members diverge drastically when the U.S. government begins detaining Vietnamese Americans, in this &“rich, gripping novel that lands squarely as a mirror of our contemporary moral squalor&” (Los Angeles Times).&“Funny, powerful, and propulsive . . . a moving portrait of the kind of people we become when we are trying to survive.&”—Cathy Park Hong, New York Times bestselling author of Minor FeelingsUrsula, Alvin, Jen, and Duncan grew up as cousins in the sprawling Nguyen family. As young adults, they&’re on the precipice of new ventures: Ursula as a budding journalist in Manhattan, Alvin as an engineering intern for Google, Jen as a naïve freshman at NYU, and Duncan as a promising newcomer on his high school football team. Their lives are upended when a series of violent, senseless attacks across America creates a national panic, prompting a government policy that pushes Vietnamese Americans into internment camps. Jen and Duncan are sent with their mother to Camp Tacoma while Ursula and Alvin receive exemptions.Cut off entirely from the outside world, forced to work jobs they hate, Jen and Duncan try to withstand long, dusty days in camp and acclimate to life without the internet. That is, until Jen discovers a way to get messages to the outside. Her first instinct is to reach out to Ursula, who sees this connection as a chance to tell the world about the horrors of camp—and as an opportunity to bolster her own reporting career in the process.Informed by real-life events, from Japanese incarceration to the Vietnam War and modern-day immigrant detention, Kevin Nguyen&’s novel gives us a version of reality only a few degrees away from our own. Moving and finely attuned to both the brutalities and mundanities of racism, Mỹ Documents is a strangely funny and touching portrait of American ambition, fear, and family. The story of the Nguyens is one of resilience and how we return to one another, and to ourselves, after tragedy.
My Dog Ate My Nobel Prize: The Fabricated Memoirs of Jeff Martin
by Jeff MartinJeff Martin was born in 1980. Jeff Martin made millions on the stock market. Jeff Martin lost millions on the stock market. Jeff Martin stopped a Chinese tank at Tiananmen Square. Jeff Martin managed Michael Dukakis’s 1988 presidential campaign. Jeff Martin co-wrote Aliens 2: More Aliens with James Cameron. Jeff Martin had a torrid and brief creative relationship with Disney’s animation department. Jeff Martin disguised himself as a midget, joined NASA, and became the first-ever child in space, all in tribute to the Challenger space shuttle tragedy.Such is only a sample of the amazing life of Jeff Martin, a modern-day renaissance man/child, adept at everything, and uniquely attuned to the goings-on of our evolving planet. He is equal parts Doogie Howser and Forest Gump - as likely to break an age barrier as to coincidentally find himself in the trenches of history.Get ready for a groundbreaking memoir overflowing with action, history, social commentary, and unchecked facts. Along the way, there will be love, loss, cool drawings from Truth Serum cartoonist Jon Adams, and some more unchecked facts. And as a free promotion, we’re offering a money-back guarantee that this book will not disgrace Oprah.
My Dog Gave Me the Clap
by Adam MorrisReferencing the greats of blues music and literature, this is a wonderfully grungy novel about Saul, a failed musician and part-time teacher. Saul is the kind of guy who hangs out in his friend’s backyard planning the best way to acquit his unemployment benefit on booze. He’s also trying to resolve the big questions in life: What thoughts should he put in his negative thought diary? How can he avoid the compulsory office tea break? and What the hell happened at last night’s drunken photo shoot? Discomforting, in your face, compelling, and funny, this book touches upon masculine identity and missed epiphanies.
My Dog Gets a Job (My Dog Ugly #2)
by Elizabeth FenshamThe perfect puppy chapter book and ideal dog chapter book for kids 9-12!Eric's life will go to the dogs if he doesn't devise a brilliant plan to keep Ugly out of trouble!Eric knows better than anyone that having a puppy can take a lot of work. As the (mostly) responsible owner of a big, shaggy dog named Ugly, Eric has basically mastered the art of dog training. At least, he thought he had.When Ugly gets into a series of mishaps, including the theft of a roast chicken and a bedroom decorated with slimy duck poop, Eric's family is less than pleased. It's clear Eric and Ugly still have some work to do. So Eric comes up with a genius plan—get Ugly a job! That way, he won't have time to get into trouble. But it's not as easy as Eric thinks...See where Eric and Ugly's story began in My Dog Made Me Write This Book!Why readers love My Dog Gets a Job:the best book for middle school boys and funny book for kids 9-12the ideal preteen gift for boyswith doodles and drawings throughout the story, it is a great book for reluctant readers and for those who love graphic novels!
My Dog Laughs
by Rachel IsadoraCaldecott Honor winner Rachel Isadora's delightful introduction to the joys of having a dog stars a diverse ensemble of adorable kids and their beloved canine friends, in a style reminiscent of her popular I Hear a Pickle.Dogs are amazing! Dogs are a lot of work! And here is the perfect book to help a child understand what is involved in living with one. Lively illustrations show a variety of children learning what makes their dog tick, as they train them, care for them, and play with them. But most of all, it celebrates the fact that dogs are truly awesome companions--who are always happy to see you, and who can even sing, laugh and dream with you!Rachel Isadora's love for our canine friends shines through on every page, as she shares some of the best--and most exasperating!--things about having a dog.
My Dog Made Me Write This Book (My Dog Ugly #1)
by Elizabeth FenshamWhen Eric got a dog, he thought he was getting a best friend. But his dog doesn't even consider Eric to be his second best friend. Or his third. He even likes Eric's horrible sister, Gretchen, more than he likes Eric. Eric isn't sure where this betrayal came from. Maybe his dog is resentful that Eric named him Ugly, or that Eric's Mom is the one who feeds him and walks him. No matter the reason, it's got to change. Eric's ready to try anything and everything to get his dog to love him. Or if not love, at least show some half-hearted interest. But will Eric have what it takes to gain Ugly's affection? Or will he be in the doghouse...forever? Discover more of Eric and Ugly's adventures in My Dog Get's a Job!
My Dog is Better than Your Dog (Crimebiters #1)
by Tommy GreenwaldFrom the author of Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Reading comes a humorous and illustrated new series about a boy whose new dog may or may not be a crimefighting vampire.Jimmy Bishop loves doing 3 things: 1) Laughing at funny dog videos online,2) watching his favorite show (Stop! Police!) on TV, 3) and reading his favorite vampire book (Fang Goodness) over and over. His self-involved older sister and workaholic Mom think he needs to stop obsessing already! But when his Dad finally allows Jimmy to get a puppy before school starts, everything changes and Jimmy has something new to focus on: his amazing dog, Abby who seems to have some very unusual habits. She sleeps all day but is wired at night, and she runs from the garlic kelp biscuit made by Jimmy's strange new babysitter Mrs. Cragg. There's just something different about Abby. Could she possibly be...a vampire? Jimmy's best friend Irwin thinks Jimmy's being ridiculous, but then when Abby uncovers a real crime in progress and helps him become friends with an actual, human girl, even Irwin has to admit that perhaps Abby might have some super powers after all.
My Dog's a Chicken
by Anne Wilsdorf Susan Mcelroy MontanariLula Mae wants a puppy, but times are hard and she'll just have to make do. Her family has plenty of chickens, so she decides maybe a chicken can be a dog. Pookie, as Lula Mae names her, is an ordinary chicken, but Lula Mae thinks she is very doglike indeed. With a bow in Pookie's hair, Lula Mae declares her a show dog. When she runs circles around the other chickens, Pookie is a shepherd dog. And when Cousin Tater sneaks up with a snake and Pookie starts bawk, bawk, bawking, well, she's a guard dog, too. Then Lula Mae's brother, Baby Berry, wanders away, and who do you think comes to the rescue? Readers will cheer for plucky Lula Mae and giggle over her beloved Pookie, who quite unknowingly saves the day.From the Hardcover edition.