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My Teenage Diary: Adolescent Musings from the Hit BBC Radio 4 Series
by Harriet JaineEver wanted to pick the lock of a celebrity’s teenage diary?My Teenage Diary is a Radio 4 comedy show hosted by Rufus Hound featuring celebrities reading and discussing extracts from their teenage diaries. Collected together for the first time, these tear-stained, lipstick-smudged, adolescent ramblings form the backbone of this book, edited by series producer, Harriet Jaine. Featuring diary extracts from Terry Wogan, Alex Horne, Robert Peston, Rachel Johnson, Meera Syal, Sheila Hancock, Robert Webb and many more, these diaries give us a wealth of brilliant material - from the funny and ridiculous, via the poignant, pretentious and philosophical, down to the extremely embarrassing.
My Thirty-First Year (and Other Calamities): A Novel
by Emily Wolf"Superb characterizations round out this captivating production."—Library Journal, Best Audiobooks of 2022On her 30th birthday, Yale-educated Zoe Greene was supposed to be married to her high-school sweetheart, pregnant with their first baby, and practicing law in Chicago. Instead, she’s planning an abortion and filing for divorce. Zoe wants to understand why her plans failed—and to move on, have sex, and date while there’s still time. As she navigates dysfunctional penises, a paucity of grammatically sound online dating profiles, and her paralyzing fear of aging alone, she also grapples with the pressure women feel to put others first. Ultimately, Zoe’s family, friends, incomparable therapist, and diary of never-to-be-sent letters to her first loves, the rock band U2, help her learn to let go—of society’s constructs of female happiness, and of her own.
My Time is Your Time: The Story of Rudy Vallee
by Rudy Vallee Gil McKeanDo you remember the Maine-Stein Song, that is? And did you ever own a racoon coat or wish you did? Or ride in a rumble seat, or date Betty Co-ed, or listen to a tenor saxophone tell you sweetly and tinnily on an old record that MY TIME IS YOUR TIME?If you remember—and who doesn’t—then you remember Rude Vallee. And if you know what’s new and big on Broadway this season, then you know that Rudy Vallee is still a hit. Vallee tells all in this charming warm-hearted and nostalgic memoir of his long and happy life. Born in a small town in Vermont, he travelled far and is one of the men who truly made a substantial contribution to cultural history of his own era.That era is not ended. The beloved idol of the 20’s is still very much in the limelight, still winning hearts with his music.MY TIME IS YOUR TIME tells of good and bad times; the hazards and heartbreaks of being a popular band leader; and of the hard road at the top.This is personal experience that we all shared, made intimate and valuable by the recreation of the past we had together, the present we’re enjoying, and the future we hope for. Rudy Vallee’s story of his life is courageous, humorous, and often surprising in its insights into the times that were ours.
My Tiny Pet
by Jessie HartlandA witty celebration of the tiny tardigrade, a microscopic creature that looks like a bearLiving in a tiny house has one huge drawback--no space for pets. So when a little girl's parents announce that it's time for the family to simplify, downsizing from a huge home in the city to a tiny house in the woods, it's quite a blow--after all, she's grown quite fond of her pet poodles, cats, tarantula, snake, hedgehogs, mice, birds, fish, octopus, rabbits, pony, pig, and turtles. Fortunately, she finds them all good homes, and she has to admit that she enjoys her new simpler life. There's just one thing: She still really wants just one pet. At first the answer is no. But using a little scientific savvy, she finds one that could be just the right fit--how could anyone turn down a pet smaller than an ant's eye that doesn't need special food or toys or walking, and will always be small enough to squeeze into their home, no matter how much they downsize? Jessie Hartland creatively blends fantasy and science in a far-out story that bursts with exuberance. Her whimsical art celebrates one very thoughtful, persistent little girl and introduces readers to the tiny tardigrade, with its fascinating array of survival skills.
My Tooth Is LOST! (Monkey and Cake)
by Drew DaywaltFrom the bestselling author of The Day the Crayons Quit comes another hilarious friendship story from Monkey and Cake. This time Monkey lost a tooth... will Cake be able to help Monkey find it?Meet Monkey and Cake.They are silly. They are curious.Sometimes they fight.But Monkey and Cake are always best friends.From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Day the Crayons Quit, Drew Daywalt, and illustrator Olivier Tallec, comes a fresh new duo Monkey and Cake. In this book, Monkey has lost a tooth! This makes Monkey sad. Cake reassures Monkey that the tooth fairy will come... but Monkey isn't so sure. Can Cake help find the lost tooth instead?With Daywalt's signature voice and style, the relatable humor of Elephant and Piggie, and the wise friendship of Frog and Toad, Monkey and Cake invites readers to laugh along and let their imaginations soar.READ. LAUGH. THINK.
My Toothbrush Is Missing (The Giggle Gang)
by Jan ThomasA delightfully silly picture book for new readers: &“This hilarious story is a fun read-aloud.&”—School Library JournalDog's toothbrush is missing. Has anybody seen it? Maybe…But what does a toothbrush look like? Donkey wonders.Featuring Jan Thomas&’s wonderfully wacky humor, rowdy repetitions, and hilarious characters, this book is sure to have young readers laughing out loud! &“A droll knee-slapper for newly emergent readers.&”—Booklist
My Totally Awkward Supernatural Crush
by Laura Toffler-CorrieIn My Totally Awkward Supernatural Crush by Laura Toffler-Corrie, Jenna Bloom is just an average middle school student until her family takes her to her least favorite restaurant for her birthday, where she meets Cowpoke Luke, her waiter and one true love. Oh, and he also happens to be an angel. Jenna can't believe that Luke could actually be interested in her, and yet he is! Unfortunately he's got a demonic foe named Adam who could potentially complicate matters, and when the two boys have a big showdown at the local community theater's performance of Fiddler on the Roof, Jenna is right in the middle of it all.
My Trip Down the Pink Carpet
by Leslie JordanA hilarious romp from small-town USA to the pink carpet of Hollywood with the beloved Emmy-winning actor, playwright, and gay icon Leslie Jordan is a small man with a giant propensity for scene stealing. Best known for his bravura recurring role as Karen's nemesis, Beverley Leslie, on Will & Grace (for which he won a Best Guest Actor in a Comedy Series Emmy in 2006), he has also made memorable appearances on Ally McBeal, Boston Public, Monk, and Murphy Brown. Raised in a conservative family in Chattanooga, Tennessee, Leslie -- who describes himself as "the gayest man I know" -- boarded a Greyhound bus bound for LA with $1,200 sewn into his underpants and never looked back. His pocket-sized physique and inescapable talent for high camp paved the way to a lucrative and varied career in commercials and on television. Along the way he immersed himself in writing for the stage, and his one-man testimonials have become cult off-Broadway hits. But with success came dangerous temptations: a self-proclaimed former substance abuser and sexaholic, Leslie has spent time in jail and struggled to overcome his addictions and self-loathing. My Trip Down the Pink Carpet is a rollicking, fast-paced collection of stories, served up with wit, panache, and plenty of biting asides. Filled with comically overwrought childhood agonies, offbeat observations, and revealing celebrity encounters -- from Boy George to George Clooney -- it delivers a fresh, laugh-out-loud take on Hollywood, fame, addiction, gay culture, and learning to love oneself.
My True and Complete Adventures as a Wannabe Voyageur
by Phyllis RudinIn this coming-of-age story, Benjie Gabai is convinced he’s been the victim of a terrible cosmic hoax. Instead of being born in the 18th century as a French-Canadian voyageur, God has plunked him down in present-day Montreal, into a family that views his fur trade obsession as proof that their Benjie, once so bursting with promise, has well and truly lost it. Benjie serves out his days as caretaker of The Bay’s poky in-store fur trade museum, dusting and polishing the artifacts that fuel his imagination. When he learns his museum is about to be closed down, scattering his precious collection to the four winds, he hatches a plan that risks bringing his voyageur illusions lapping dangerously up against reality. My True and Complete Adventures as a Wannabe Voyageur melds Canadian frontier history with the madcap adventures of a young man who is not ready to meet adulthood head on.
My Turn to Make the Tea: 'I envy anyone yet to discover the joy of Monica Dickens ... she's blissfully funny' Nina Stibbe (Virago Modern Classics #808)
by Monica DickensINTRODUCED BY LISSA EVANS'I envy anyone yet to discover the joy of Monica Dickens. She's beady eyed, big hearted and blissfully funny' Nina StibbePoppy, newly recruited cub reporter at the Downingham Post, is determined to prove to the editor that he's wrong in his belief that 'Women are a nuisance in the office'. He certainly doesn't think she's a nuisance when it's time for the tea round - a job which never fails to fall to the only female reporter.What Poppy lacks in experience, she makes up for in spirit and ambition. She'll make the Downingham Post the best regional newspaper there is - even if she occasionally gets the names wrong in court hearings. Life, for a single professional woman in the post-war years, certainly has its challenges - from finding a room, when the tyrannical landlady doesn't consider Poppy to be quite respectable, to changing her editor's deeply entrenched ways. This semi-autobiographical novel, recounted with Monica Dickens's wit, warmth and wry observation, will charm all who read it.If you enjoyed My Turn to Make the Tea, you will love One Pair of Feet, Dickens's novel of being a wartime trainee nurse, also published in Virago Modern Classics.
My Turn to Make the Tea: 'I envy anyone yet to discover the joy of Monica Dickens ... she's blissfully funny' Nina Stibbe (Virago Modern Classics #808)
by Monica DickensINTRODUCED BY LISSA EVANS'I envy anyone yet to discover the joy of Monica Dickens. She's beady eyed, big hearted and blissfully funny' Nina StibbePoppy, newly recruited cub reporter at the Downingham Post, is determined to prove to the editor that he's wrong in his belief that 'Women are a nuisance in the office'. He certainly doesn't think she's a nuisance when it's time for the tea round - a job which never fails to fall to the only female reporter.What Poppy lacks in experience, she makes up for in spirit and ambition. She'll make the Downingham Post the best regional newspaper there is - even if she occasionally gets the names wrong in court hearings. Life, for a single professional woman in the post-war years, certainly has its challenges - from finding a room, when the tyrannical landlady doesn't consider Poppy to be quite respectable, to changing her editor's deeply entrenched ways. This semi-autobiographical novel, recounted with Monica Dickens's wit, warmth and wry observation, will charm all who read it.If you enjoyed My Turn to Make the Tea, you will love One Pair of Feet, Dickens's novel of being a wartime trainee nurse, also published in Virago Modern Classics.
My Turn: An Autobiography
by Norman WisdomNorman Wisdom's early years could easily have come straight from the pages of a Dickens novel. Left by their frightened mother, ill-treated by a brutal father, Norman and his brother were forced to fend for themselves, sleeping rough in London and stealing food to survive. This is a rags to riches tale of the man Charlie Chaplin said would take his mantle and who went on to make millions laugh around the world for over five decades. Here are the hardships, tragedies and triumphs that gave him his inspiration. From the days working the seasons at Scarborough, to the unforgettable and endearing character Norman Pitkin - the little man in a tight fitting suit, read of his rapid climb up the showbiz ladder.
My Uncle Oswald
by Roald DahlMeet Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, Roald Dahl's most disgraceful and extraordinary character . . . Aside from being thoroughly debauched, strikingly attractive and astonishingly wealthy, Uncle Oswald was the greatest bounder, bon vivant and fornicator of all time. In this instalment of his scorchingly frank memoirs he tells of his early career and erotic education at the hands of a number of enthusiastic teachers, of discovering the invigorating properties of the Sudanese Blister Beetle, and of the gorgeous Yasmin Howcomely, his electrifying partner in a most unusual series of thefts . . . 'Raunchy and cheeky entertainment' Sunday Express 'Immense fun' Daily Telegraph Roald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl's Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl's stories continue to make readers shiver today.
My Vampire Plus-One
by Jenna LevineNothing sucks more than fake dating a vampire in this paranormal romantic comedy from the USA Today bestselling author of My Roommate Is a Vampire. Amelia Collins is by definition successful. She would even go so far as to say successfully single. But not according to her family, and she's tired of the constant questions about her nonexistent dating life. When an invitation to yet another family wedding arrives, she decides to get everyone off her back once and for all by finding someone--anyone--to pose as her date. After a chance encounter with Reginald Cleaves, Amelia decides he's perfect for her purposes. He's a bit strange, but that&’s fine; it'll discourage tough questions from her family. (And it certainly doesn't hurt that he's very handsome.) For centuries-old vampire Reggie, posing as her plus-one sounds like the ultimate fun. And if it helps his ruse of pretending to be human, so much the better. As Amelia and Reggie practice their fauxmance, it becomes clear that Reggie is as loyal to her as the day is long, and that Amelia&’s first impressions could not have been more wrong. Suddenly, being in a real relationship with Reggie sounds pretty fang-tastic.
My Very '90s Romance: A Novel
by Jenny ColganFrom New York Times bestselling author Jenny Colgan comes a hilarious romantic comedy about a down-on-her-luck florist whose future begins to bloom when she takes on the challenge of helping to transform her nerdy roommate. <P><P>Holly is a frustrated florist whose life doesn’t seem to be coming up roses. Fleeing a roommate situation from hell, she moves in with a motley crew of friends—Josh, a sexually confused merchant banker; Kate, a high-flying legal eagle with talons to match; and Addison, a gorgeous computer geek who spends his days communicating with his online girlfriend and anyone who worships at the altar of Jean-Luc Picard. <P><P>From the moment Holly catches a rare glimpse of Addison, she’s smitten. The only problem is how to get him to swivel his chair from the computer screen to her adoring gaze. <P><P> After a series of false starts—involving a new friend and mathematician, Finn—Holly coaxes Addison away from his computer screen and out into the open. <P><P>While “out in the open” spells disaster for Addison, curiously, her own future begins to bloom. <P><P>Holly and her friends make desperate attempts to connect with Addison, drag him away from his fiercely possessive girlfriend, Claudia, and get him to communicate with the real world. <P><P>With Jenny Colgan’s trademark wit and a cast of unforgettable characters, My Very '90s Romance will capture your heart.
My Very UnFairy Tale Life
by Anna Staniszewski"You know all those stories that claim fairies cry sparkle tears and elves travel by rainbow? They're lies. All lies." Twelve-year-old Jenny has spent the last two years as an adventurer helping magical kingdoms around the universe. But it's a thankless job, leaving her no time for school or friends. She'd almost rather take a math test than rescue yet another magical creature! When Jenny is sent on yet another mission, she has a tough choice to make: quit and have her normal life back, or fulfill her promise and go into a battle she doesn't think she can win.
My Weil
by Lars Iyer"Memorable characters make this a singular exploration of the human condition." - Publishers WeeklyA scathingly funny look at a group of quirky graduate students majoring in Disaster Studies who are forced to reconsider their cynicism when they confront a new student who, remarkably, has the same name as the 20th Century Catholic mystic philosopher Simone Weil ...My Weil follows a group of twenty-something PhD students of the new-fangled subject Disaster Studies at an inferior university in Manchester, England, the post-industrial city of so much great music and culture. They&’re working class, by turns underconfident and grandiose (especially when they drink) and are reconciled to never finishing their dissertations or finding academic jobs.Their immediate enemies are the drone-like Business Studies students all around them, as well as the assured and serene PhD students of the posh university up the road. And they&’re working together on a film, through which they&’re trying to make sense of their lives in Manchester and, in particular, to the Ees, a mysterious patch of countryside that appears to have supernatural qualities.Into their midst arrives Simone Weil, a PhD student, a version of the twentieth century philosopher, who becomes the unlikely star of their film. Simone is devout, ascetic, intensely serious, and busy with risky charity work with the homeless. Valentine, hustler-philosopher, recognises Simone as a fellow would-be saint. But Gita, Indian posh-girl, is suspicious: what&’s with Simone&’s nun-shoes? And Marcie (AKA Den Mom), the leader of the pack, is too busy with her current infatuation, nicknamed Ultimate Destruction Girl, to notice.The narrator, Johnny, who was brought up in care and is psychologically fragile, and deeply disturbed by the poverty of his adopted city, gradually falls in love in Simone. But will his love be requited? Will Simone be able to save the souls of her new friends and Manchester itself from apocalypse?
My Weird School 4-Book Collection with Bonus Material
by Dan Gutman Jim PaillotDon't miss out on an exciting new My Weird School ebook collection, complete with the first four books in Dan Gutman's seriously hilarious and seriously zany series. The collection includes My Weird School #1: Miss Daisy Is Crazy!, My Weird School #2: Mr. Klutz Is Nuts!, My Weird School #3: Mrs. Roopy Is Loopy!, My Weird School #4: Ms. Hannah Is Bananas!, and a bunch of seriously strange activities. The activities include a checklist, a maze, and a word scramble. Meet a teacher who eats bonbons, a principal who kisses pigs, a librarian who thinks she's George Washington, and an art teacher who dresses up in pot holders! They're all inside this collection! They must be getting pretty crowded in there!
My Weird School Daze #2: Mr. Sunny Is Funny! (My Weird School Daze #2)
by Dan GutmanWith more than 30 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading!In the second book in My Weird School Daze—the hilarious second arc of the My Weird School series—A.J. is taking a much-needed summer vacation with his family. But all bets are off when Andrea and her family rent the beach house next door. Not even the funny beach lifeguard Mr. Sunny can save them from this weird summer!Perfect for reluctant readers and word lovers alike, Dan Gutman's insanely popular My Weird School series has something for everyone. Don't miss the hilarious adventures of A.J. and the gang.
My Weird School Goes to the Museum (I Can Read Level 2)
by Dan GutmanThis fun Level Two I Can Read book, geared toward kids who read on their own but still need a little help, is based on Dan Gutman’s My Weird School series, which has sold more than 12 million books!A.J. and Andrea are taking a class trip to the museum! Their museum guide has been warned that one of them might misbehave. But who will it be? Join A.J. and Andrea from Ella Mentry School on this hilarious field trip as they show young readers why they attend the weirdest—and most fun!—school around.
My Weird School Graphic Novel: Get a Grip! We're on a Trip! (My Weird School Graphic Novel #2)
by Dan GutmanGraphic novel fans, prepare yourselves for a trip you won’t soon forget! New York Times bestselling author Dan Gutman and veteran illustrator Jim Paillot have brought you a second zany My Weird School graphic novel!A.J. and his friends have the chance to win a trip to Dizzyland—if they can finish 5,000 books first. Dr. Carbles, the evil president of the Board of Education, doesn’t think they can do it. But the Ella Mentry School kids are nothing if not determined!Will they achieve their theme park dreams? Or does Dr. Carbles have other plans for the school? Full of visual gags, fun pop culture references, and hilarious full-color illustrations, this is the weirdest graphic novel in the history of the world!With more than 30 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading!
My Weird School Graphic Novel: Mr. Corbett Is in Orbit! (My Weird School Graphic Novel #1)
by Dan GutmanGraphic novel fans, prepare for liftoff! New York Times bestselling author Dan Gutman and illustrator Jim Paillot have brought you an all-new series of My Weird School graphic novels!In this first book, A.J. and his friends at Ella Mentry School are headed on a field trip to NASA headquarters. But their tour guide, Mr. Corbett, is a total space cadet! And what happens when A.J. accidentally launches the whole class into outer space?! Full of visual gags, space aliens, and hilarious full-color illustrations, this is the weirdest graphic novel in the history of the world!With more than 30 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading!
My Weird School Special: Bummer in the Summer! (My Weird School Special #6)
by Dan GutmanWith more than 23 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading!School’s almost out for the summer, and A.J. is dreaming about all the fun things he’s going to do on vacation.But A.J.’s dream quickly turns into a nightmare when three familiar spirits appear to show him summers past, present, and yet to come. Will they be able to convince him to leave his bad ways behind? Or will this summer end up being a total bummer?Bestselling author Dan Gutman brings his kid-friendly sense of humor to this special series of after-school chapter books featuring hilarious stories plus thirty-two pages of games, puzzles, and more.This is one weird summer vacation special you won’t want to miss!
My Weird School Special: Fright Night! (My Weird School Special)
by Dan GutmanWith more than 36 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading! Gather around the campfire for some scary stories with A.J. and friends in this new My Weird School Special, featuring extra pages of puzzles, games, and more! A.J. and his friends are having a sleepover in the playground by Ella Mentry School. There’s a campfire with plenty of yummy marshmallows, weird songs, and twinkling stars—what could be better? Ryan, Alexia, Michael, Andrea, Neil, Emily, and A.J. each get a turn to make up a silly, scary story. But what’s that lurking in the woods? Could it be some kind of weird monster? Did the kids’ creepy tales awaken something truly terrifying?With Dan Gutman’s signature kid-friendly sense of humor and Jim Paillot’s fun illustrations, this is one weird and spooky special you won’t want to miss—featuring bonus trivia, games, puzzles, and more!
My Weird School Special: Hip, Hip, Hooray! Every Day Is a Holiday! (My Weird School Special)
by Dan GutmanWith more than 35 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading! The students of Ella Mentry School must figure out how to celebrate some weird-but-real holidays in this My Weird School Special from New York Times bestselling author Dan Gutman and veteran illustrator Jim Paillot.Winter break is over, and it’s another five months until summer vacation. A.J. and his friends aren’t looking forward to school starting back up, but they’re even less excited when Dr. Carbles, president of the Board of Education, cancels ALL school holidays. No Presidents' Day, no Memorial Day, and forget about any snow days!Morale is down, but Mrs. Roopy, the librarian, has a trick up her sleeve. Instead of celebrating traditional holidays, the school will celebrate real holidays that no one has ever heard of! Will the kids be able to save the year with their fun festivities, or will Dr. Carbles’s antiholiday agenda win out?Dan Gutman’s signature kid-friendly sense of humor and Jim Paillot’s fun illustrations are perfectly blended in this weird holiday special you won’t want to miss—featuring bonus wacky holidays, games, puzzles, and more!