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Office Olympics
by Tom HayHow can you get into the spirit of the Olympics when you’re stuck in the office? It’s time to go for gold in the Office Deskathlon! Show off your sporting skills and challenge your colleagues to an Email Relay, a round of Eraser High Bounce and a bout of Biro Javelin! Just don’t let your boss find out where all those paper clips went.
Office Politics (McNally Editions)
by Wilfrid Sheed&“A masterpiece . . . One of the few genuinely comic novels since Lucky Jim.&” —Elaine DundyEver since college, George Wren has dreamed of working at The Outsider, the prestigious weekly edited by his hero, the suave English expat Gilbert Twining. So when George sees a listing for a junior editor, he trades in his job at CBS for half the salary—and a ringside seat in the unexpectedly cutthroat arena of a small-circulation, highbrow little magazine. To George&’s surprise and dismay, The Outsider is seething with malcontents and mutineers, at least according to Twining, who keeps cornering George for after-work martinis, pouring out his anxieties, professional and otherwise, while George&’s wife, Matilda, and baby son wait for him back in Queens. Is Twining paranoid? Is he insane? Or are George&’s new office-mates truly plotting an insurrection? And if so, what&’s all of it got to do with George? An indelible satire of 1960s intellectual New York, Office Politics is also a celebration of that endangered species, the office, at its pettiest and most idealistic, as the proving ground where so much of grownup life takes place.
Office Weapons: Catapults, Darts, Shooters, Tripwires, and Other Do-It-Yourself Projects to Fortify Your Cubicle
by Instructables. Com Mike WarrenBored in your office? Did your coworker just prank you and you're wondering how to get him back? Is your boss constantly stealing your paperclips and you don't know how to keep his mitts away from your desk? Office Weapons gives you the complete step-by-step instructions for thirty different daring office pranks.<P><P> Check out these simple but effective weapons fashioned from office materials and be prepared next time someone borrows your special stapler or leaves the copy machine jammed.Just a few of the projects you'll find inside:Office Booby TrapSimple Paper Clip GunOffice Sling ShotArrows for Paper Clip BowHow to Make Cool Nun Chucks with Office SuppliesOffice Stationery DartsBinder Clip CatapultOffice Supplies Grappling GunThese projects are made by the best in the business; the office workers who actually need them! They say necessity is the mother of invention; leave it to the Instructables community to put that theory to the test!
Officer Buckle and Gloria
by Peggy Rathmann"Besides the beguiling story, the affable illustrations of the smiling Gloria, the accidental mayhem in the background, and the myriad safety tips -- such as 'always pull the toothpick out of your sandwhich' and 'never lick a stop sign in the winter' -- add to the enjoyment. A glorious picture book." -- The Horn Book"Rathmann is a quick rising star in the world of chidren's books. In this book, she again shows her flair for creating real characters, dramatic situations and for knowing what will make young audiences giggle and think." -- Children's Book Review Magazine"Rathman brings a lighter-than-air comic touch to this outstanding, solid-as-a-brick picture book." -- Publisher's Weekly"A five-star performance." -- School Library Journal
Officer Spence Makes No Sense! (My Weird School Daze #5)
by Dan GutmanThe weirdness never stops! <p><p> The security guard at Ella Mentry School has gone off the deep end! Somebody is stealing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from the vomitorium, and Officer Spence is on the case. He's arresting everybody in sight! Somebody is going to go to jail! Who is it? You'll have to read the book to find out.
Officers and Gentlemen
by Evelyn WaughFueled by idealism and eagerness to contribute to the war effort, Guy Crouchback becomes attached to a commando unit undergoing training on the Hebridean isle of Mugg, where the whisky flows freely and respect must be paid to the laird. But the comedy of Mugg is soon followed by the bitterness of Crete, where chaos reigns and a difficult evacuation must be accomplished. Officers and Gentlemen is the second novel in Waugh's brilliant Sword of Honor trilogy recording the tumultuous wartime adventures of Guy Crouchback ("the finest work of fiction in English to emerge from World War II" -Atlantic Monthly), which also comprises Men at Arms and Unconditional Surrender.
Officespeak
by David MartinDo you feel like putting a bullet through your head every time your boss tells you to "quarterback this one for me, champ"? Do you find yourself resisting the urge to put a chokehold on colleagues who use the phrases "on the same page" or "no-brainer" or "going forward" in a sentence? Are you often tempted to tamper with the messages on the motivational signs HR posts around the office? Or to plant subliminal messages in the legal disclaimer that's attached to every e-mail you send? Well, then Officespeak is the book for you! This hilarious, tongue-in-cheek guide to deciphering and manipulating the language of the workplace includes such helpful hints as: The best (and worst) answers to the question, "What's your biggest weakness?" Sprucing up your job title and personalizing your business cards Being "swamped" and other key phrases for diverting responsibility Making up verbs to convey power, decisiveness, and initiative in the boardroom Mastering the fine art of interrupting with such foolproof expressions as "good point" and "borrriiinnnggg" AND MANY MORE! Just remember, there's no "I" in team... but there sure as hell is one in "You're hired!"
Official Book Club Selection
by Kathy GriffinOfficial Book Club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish about what really happens on the road, away from the cameras, and at the star party after the show. (It's also her big chance to score that coveted book club endorsement she's always wanted. Are you there, Oprah? It's me, Kathy.)Kathy Griffin has won Emmys for her reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, been nominated for a Grammy, worked and walked every red carpet known to man, and rung in the New Year with Anderson Cooper. But the legions of fans who pack Kathy's sold-out comedy shows have heard only part of her remarkable story. Writing with her trademark wit, the feisty comic settles a few old scores, celebrates the friends and mentors who helped her claw her way to the top, and shares insider gossip about celebrity behavior-the good, the bad, and the very ugly. She recounts the crazy ups and downs of her own career and introduces us to some of the supertalented people she encountered before they got famous (or, in some cases, after fame went to their heads). Word to the wise: If you've ever crossed Kathy Griffin at some point in your life, check the index for your name.Along the way, Kathy reveals intimate details about her life before and after she made the big time. She opens up about everything from growing up with a dysfunctional family in suburban Illinois to bombing as a young comedian in L.A., from her well-publicized plastic surgery disasters to her highly publicized divorce, and more. Only in this book will you learn how the dinner table is the best training ground for a career in stand-up, how speaking your mind can bite you on the ass and buy you a house, and which people in Kathy's life have taught her the most valuable lessons-both inside and outside the entertainment industry. And as if all that wasn't enough, there are also dozens of exclusive and somewhat embarrassing photos from Kathy's own collection-featuring the diva of the D List herself, with her old nose as well as her new one, plus celebrity friends, foes, frenemies, and hangers-on for you to gawk at.Refreshingly candid, unflinchingly honest, and full of hilarious "Did she really say that?" moments, Official Book Club Selection will make you laugh until you cry, or just puke up a little bit.uld cherish. Also, it would be great to see an actress have a workload meltdown. So maybe at 2:00 some A-lister saying, "I can't handle this s**t anymore." Because I love when actors can't deal with a normal workday, and they think two in the afternoon is like midnight, so I would love to see somebody storming to their car, exhausted because they've put in a grueling four-hour workday of saying three lines and texting their nanny. Then it's maybe off to an illicit affair. At the top of my wish list would be following a rapper or a football player over to his baby mama's house where a screaming match ensues to the point where someone, maybe me, has to anonymously dial 911, and then I take a couple pictures, and I become an unannounced star witness later at the trial, entering Joan Collins-style in a smashing hat. And then at the end of the day it's a healthy round of clubbing with Janice Dickinson, and then on the way home we go to the Beverly Glen pharmacy and run into Paula Abdul. All three of us secretly take our small white-paper pharmacy bags and put them behind our backs and make uncomfortable small talk.Official Book Club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish about what really happens on the road, away from the cameras, and at the star party after the show. (It's also her big chance to score that coveted book club endorsement she's always wanted. Are you there, Oprah? It's me, Kathy.)Kathy Griffin has won Emmys for her reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, been nominated for a Grammy, worked and walked every red carpet known to man, and rung in the New Year with Anderson Cooper. But the legions of fans who pack Kathy's sold-out comedy shows have heard only part of her remarkable story. Writing with her...
Official Slacker Handbook
by Sarah DunnThe '90's answer to The Preppie Handbook is a satiric, humorous and comprehensive critique, written by the ultimate slacker, that reveals rules, guidelines and recommendations for being a state-of-the-art slacker. The book features a hip MTV-like format with fast-cut sidebars, cartoons, photos, lists, quizzes and charts.
Officially Off the Clock: Best Wishes for a Happy Retirement
by Editors of Ulysses PressSurprise new retirees with this hilarious and pawsitively adorable gift book full of funny sayings and retirement wishes—a perfect going-away gift for those lucky coworkers, bosses, friends, family, and more! Kick back and relax into full-time retired life with some dogs that already know how to live the good life in this funny, utterly adorable and giftable retirement book. Inside you’ll find hard-working (and hardly working) pups to inspire, admire—and just plain make you laugh—paired with quotes and sayings all about making the most of the best years of your life, including: - “No work and all play.” - “Life’s a beach when you’re retired.” - “What do you call a person who’s happy on a Monday? Retired.” - “No more alarm clocks, just dream schedules.” Shake off those sad goodbyes with this beautiful, hardcover collection of dogs on permanent vacation—the perfect gift for the new retiree in your life!
Officially Retired: Hilarious Quips and Quotes to Celebrate Your Freedom
by Ted HeybridgeCongratulations, you've retired! It's time to celebrate your freedom. Make the most of all your new free time with Officially Retired, a funny book of quotes, quips and statements on the joys and tribulations of retirement. Put your feet up, relax and enjoy this side-splitting little book.
Officially Retired: Hilarious Quips and Quotes to Celebrate Your Freedom
by Ted HeybridgeCongratulations, you've retired! It's time to celebrate your freedom. Make the most of all your new free time with Officially Retired, a funny book of quotes, quips and statements on the joys and tribulations of retirement. Put your feet up, relax and enjoy this side-splitting little book.
Oggie Cooder, Party Animal: A Combo Of Oggie Cooder And Oggie Cooder, Party Animal (Oggie Cooder Ser.)
by Sarah WeeksOggie Cooder returns . . . with an invitation to the birthday pool party of the year. It’s sink or swim time for a boy, his cheese, and his odd talent.Oggie Cooder has never set foot (or swim fin) in his neighbor Donnica Perfecto’s swimming pool. But now he has his chance—it’s Donnica’s birthday, and her mom has forced her to invite Oggie to the pool party! Donnica, though, isn’t about to let this happen. She has a plan to keep Oggie away. But what she doesn’t count on is the power of Oggie’s charving, an unexpected visit from a local rock band, a creative use of a cherry picker, a dog that tweets like a bird, and a boy in a bear suit whose identity will change everything when it’s revealed.“A fast-paced chapter book with cheerful cartoon illustrations provided by Holgate, this can easily be read on its own and will certainly win Oggie new fans.” —Kirkus Reviews“A truly delightful story.” —Kidsreads.com
Oggie Cooder: A Combo Of Oggie Cooder And Oggie Cooder, Party Animal (Oggie Cooder Ser.)
by Sarah WeeksFrom the author of So B. It—now a major motion picture. “A loveable character . . . Fans of Jeff Kinney’s Wimpy Kid titles will be drawn to Oggie.” —School Library JournalOggie Cooder has a talent—he can charve better than anyone else in Truman Elementary School. (Charving, for the uninitiated, is the carving of a piece of cheese with one’s teeth.) Oggie doesn’t think this is anything special—but his whole school will soon be disagreeing with him. Because after he inadvertently charves during a nationwide hunt for unusual talents, his charving puts him on the path to fame and fortune. Suddenly, he’s the star of the school . . . but he’s not sure that he wants to shine that way. This is Sarah Weeks at her best—funny, clever, and kid-friendly.“Oggie’s adventure delivers a message about staying true to oneself, but the lesson is never cheesy; it is as light-hearted and tasty as Oggie’s charving lessons.” —Kidsreads.com“What is refreshing is that Oggie doesn’t have to change his nature to change his social status. Gentle humor with a satisfying message for middle-grade readers.” —Kirkus Reviews
Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl: A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters
by Brian A KlemsRules for Raising Little Girls"As the father of a daughter, I wish I'd read this very funny book sooner, if only to know that it's OK for a grown man to wear a tutu." - Dave Barry"Required reading for any parent who doesn't know pants from leggings." - Dan Zevin, author of Dan Gets a Minivan: Life at the Intersection of Dude and DadIt's easy to imagine how you'd raise a boy--all the golf outings, lawnmower lessons, and Little League championships you'd attend--but playing dad to a little princess may take some education. In Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl, Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty.Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger."Somehow, Brian Klems has taken one of the most traumatic situations known to a father--having a daughter--and made it into something so completely hilarious you'll laugh until you've got oxygen deprivation!" - W. Bruce Cameron, author of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter
Oh Come All Ye Tasteful: The Foodie's Guide to a Millionaire's Christmas Feast
by Ian Flitcroft'Well written and incredibly descriptive, the author has clearly done homework about the field of gastronomy to produce a wonderful and memorable read.' --Publishers Weekly'This is the perfect little gift for the gourmet in your life, the classy cook in the kitchen or the millionaire (in his or her own mind) who just wants to impress.' --The Fine Times Recorder'What's that you say? A turkey is a turkey. Of course it is, but that dry over-cooked bird will soar when stuffed with pigeon breast, foie gras, black truffles and a few ortolan…'This book will help you create a Christmas dinner that is so wildly impressive that even the most curmudgeonly great aunt or begrudging mother-in-law will swoon.Why let the millionaires be restricted to shortbread? From a morning Myrrhtini, to an after dinner 1918 vintage Armagnac this will be a feast that no one will forget.Grab your apron, put on your chef's hat and let the games commence!
Oh Hell No: And Other Ways to Set Some Damn Boundaries
by Chronicle BooksThere's a time for yes—and there's a time for no.Oh Hell No! is a collection of art and essays that serve a much-needed reminder to say no to anything that might waste our precious energy.Reclaim your time with the help of these sassy illustrated sayings and astute insights.• A timely celebration of the joy of saying no• Features passionate prose from feminist scholar Sara Ahmed• Includes actionable advice from author and journalist Dani KatzFrom polite refusal to emphatic rejection, we need that two letter word now more than ever.Oh Hell No! is a reminder and a celebration of the universal human right to say "I would prefer not to."• The ultimate naysayer's manifesto• The perfect self-purchase for feminists, introverts, activists, realists, or burned-out overachievers who are trying to say "no" more often• You'll love this book if you love books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson; Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend; and F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems by Michael Bennett MD and Sarah Bennett.
Oh Look, a Cake!
by J.C. McKeeA subversively hilarious picture book about a sloth, a lemur, a giant cake, and what happens when you don&’t share, for fans of Jon Klassen and Mo Willems. When Sloth and Lemur come across a giant, mouth-watering cake, they can&’t believe their luck. Sloth wonders if they should tell the others, but Lemur is pretty sure they shouldn't. As Sloth lists each friend one by one, Lemur is ready with excuse after excuse as to why it&’s better to keep the cake to themselves. In the end, that&’s just what they do . . . but then the true owner of the cake comes along. With impeccable comedic timing, ample visual humor, and a subversively hilarious ending, this highly entertaining story, complete with a memorable reminder about the importance of sharing, will have readers young and old giggling at every page turn.
Oh Miriam!: Stories from an Extraordinary Life
by Miriam MargolyesAward-winning actress, bestselling author of her memoir This Much is True, and Britain's naughtiest national treasure is back, and she's as outrageous as ever.Join us on another unforgettable adventure through the extraordinary life and strong opinions of Miriam Margolyes.'My new book is called OH MIRIAM! - something that has been said to me a lot over the years, often in tones of strong disapproval. It contains lots more revelations and stories and discoveries and I can't wait to share it with you all!'From being escorted off the Today programme (for saying what we were all thinking) to declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave; from Tales of the Unexpected to Graham Norton's sofa, she is our most loved and most outspoken national treasure. Oh Miriam! takes you inside both her head and her heart. Buckle up for the most irrepressible, hilarious and moving listen of 2023.(P)2023 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
Oh Miriam!: Stories from an Extraordinary Life
by Miriam MargolyesFrom declaring my love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from turnip-based comedy with Blackadder to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton's sofa to Alan Cumming's campervan, my life has been (and continues to be) a riotous adventure.Oh Miriam! has been such a constant refrain in my life, said in all kinds of tones - laughs, surprised gasps and orgasmic sighs (I'm hoping for all those from you as you read on!) - that it had to be the title of this book. And with a castlist that stretches from Churchill to di Caprio, Dahl to Dietrich, Princess Margaret to Maggie Smith, I've got so much more to tell you and so much more to say.My chapters range from 'How to Stay Married' to 'Don't Let the Bastards Get You Down'. Discover how to break the thickest conversational ice; why swearing is actually good for you (though not on the Today programme); the unexpected things I actually learnt at school and what my Spice Girl name would be. Not to mention my Tale of the Unexpected and my very own Vagina Monologue.Buckle up and join me on another unforgettable adventure, but this time through my heart and head . . .* No gerunds (or Johnsons - worse luck!) were harmed in the making of this book *
Oh Miriam!: Stories from an Extraordinary Life
by Miriam Margolyes'Oh Miriam! risks the curse of the sequel, and pulls it off . . . A force of nature, a tour de farce. Bold, brave and bright, but also revealing, shocking and touching. Miriam is an icon, a cocksucker - and the star of her show' ROBERT McCRUM, Independent'Our naughtiest national treasure . . . famously filthy, funny and phlegmatic . . . Oh Miriam! is Margolyes's manifesto for a fulfilled life . . . She loves to tell it straight. And the older she gets, the straighter she tells it . . . A fabulous gift' SIMON HATTENSTONE, GuardianFrom declaring my love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from turnip-based comedy with Blackadder to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton's sofa to Alan Cumming's camper van, my life has been (and continues to be) an uproarious adventure.Oh Miriam! has been such a constant refrain in my life, said in all kinds of tones - laughs, surprised gasps and orgasmic sighs (I'm hoping for all of those from you as you read on!) - that it had to be the title of this book. And with a cast list that stretches from Churchill to DiCaprio, Dahl to Dietrich, Princess Margaret to Maggie Smith, I've so much more to tell you and so much more to say.My chapters range from 'How to Stay Married' to 'Don't Let the Bastards Get You Down'. Discover how to break the thickest conversational ice; why swearing is actually good for you (though not on the Today programme); the unexpected things I learned at school and what my Spice Girl name would be. Not to mention my Tale of the Unexpected and my very own Vagina Monologue.Buckle up and join me on another unforgettable adventure, but this time through my heart and head . . .
Oh My Dog!
by Iva-Marie PalmerTwelve-year-old Caroline Kline doesn’t believe in miracles. Not after her mom died, and certainly not after her family lost everything in Hurricane Emma. All Caroline wants to do is fit in at school, make some friends, and, above all else, just be normal.But when Caroline takes a job walking Denver, her neighbor’s dog, her plans quickly get turned completely upside down. As it turns out, Denver is no ordinary dog: Not only can he talk—and not like bark-bark but in actual English—but worse than that, Denver tells Caroline that he’s been sent from the heavens with a message just for her. It’s up to Caroline to find a way to bring belief back to the world.From acclaimed children’s author Iva-Marie Palmer comes a hilarious and heartwarming new tale about miracles, faith of all types, and the good that connects us all.
Oh My Gods! (OMGs)
by Stephanie Cooke Insha FitzpatrickOh My Gods!, the first in a new middle grade graphic novel series, reads as if Raina Telgemeier and Rick Riordan teamed up to write a comic, and offers a fresh and funny spin on Greek mythology. When an average girl moves to Mt. Olympus, she discovers her new classmates are gods and mythological creatures are actually real—as if junior high isn't hard enough! Karen is just an average thirteen-year-old from New Jersey who loves to play video games with her friends and watch movies with her mom. But when she moves to Greece to live with her eccentric, mysterious father, Zed, suddenly everything she thought about herself—about life—is up in the air. Starting a new school can be difficult, but starting school at Mt. Olympus Junior High, where students are gods and goddesses, just might take the cake. Especially when fellow classmates start getting turned to stone. Greek mythology . . . a little less myth, a little more eek! And if Karen&’s classmates are immortal beings, who does that make her?
Oh My Gods! 2: The Forgotten Maze (OMGs)
by Stephanie Cooke Insha FitzpatrickIn this epic sequel to middle-grade graphic novel Oh My Gods!, Karen and her new friends descend into a forgotten maze beneath Mt. Olympus Junior High in search of an online troll by the name of M1N0T4UR. For fans of Raina Telgemeier and Kayla Miller. When Karen moved to Mt. Olympus, she certainly didn’t expect to start junior high with a bunch of gods and goddesses—let alone discover she’s a demigoddess (who doesn’t yet know her powers)! Having recently joined the school newspaper, Karen decides to investigate a mysterious online troll that goes by the moniker M1N0T4UR. This leads her to a treacherous maze beneath the school where Karen and her friends must complete a set of phases to leave the labyrinth.The stakes are higher than ever and a wrong move could lead to some terri-BULL consequences in this a-maze-ingly action-packed, fast-paced, pun-filled companion to Oh My Gods!.
Oh No, Not "The Home": Observations and Confessions of a Grandmother in Transition
by Peggy RowePeggy Rowe is at it again, proving once more that great content is all around us, even in the retirement community she now calls "The Home."In Oh, No, Not &“The Home,&” eighty-three-year-old Peggy decides the time has finally come to move into a senior living facility with her husband, John, who follows his beloved bride . . . grudgingly. Once ensconced in "The Home," however, John quickly makes a long list of eclectic friends and takes up bocci ball, hatchet throwing, pool playing, and various other distractions that keep him mostly sane. Meanwhile, Peggy finds humor in places a normal person would never think to look—and laughter around every corner. Missing dentures? A mouse in the house? Nude sunbathing with an unexpected audience? Gluttony in the dining hall? A chair volleyball game that turns into geriatric target practice? It's all here. With her usual mix of warmth and irreverence, Peggy brings her daily journal to life with an unforgettable mix of observations and confessions, written with the honesty of a true observer of the human condition and the urgency of an embedded reporter entrenched in a strange and distant land. You&’ll laugh, you&’ll cry, and before long, you&’ll start to think that Peggy and John and their many new friends are just the kind of people you wish you had for neighbors. Whatever you think you know about retirement communities, think again. This is life at "The Home." And it&’s not exactly what the marketing brochure promised!