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Paco and The Giant Chile Plant
by Keith PoletteThe desert of the southwestern United States is the unexpected setting for this retelling of the classic fairy tale. Jack and the Beanstalk.
Paddington 2: Dear Aunt Lucy (Paddington)
by Thomas MacriPaddington 2 comes to theaters on January 12, 2018, with all of the friendship, humor, and marmalade that made the first film a critical and box office hit!Paddington has come to love his new home with the Browns in London. But the city’s charms were first introduced to him by his aunt Lucy back in Peru. This 8x8 storybook, filled with full-color images from the film, is a letter from Paddington to his aunt, recounting the many adventures, friends and magic he’s found in his new home.
Paddington 2: The Junior Novel
by Annie WilsonPaddington 2 comes to theaters on January 12, 2018, with all of the friendship, humor, and marmalade that made the first film a critical and box office hit!Paddington has been in London for a few months now and has settled into his new home with the Browns. But he often thinks about his aunt Lucy back in Peru, and as her 100th birthday approaches, Paddington is eager to find the perfect present. He finds a one-of-a-kind book that he knows his aunt will love. But when the book is stolen, it’s up to Paddington and the Browns to catch the thief and recover a most precious gift.Based on the major motion picture Paddington 2, this junior novel features a selection of full-color images from the film!
Paddington Here and Now
by Michael Bond R. W. AlleySince the Browns found Paddington on a railway platform and took him home to live with them, there has never been a dull moment at number 32 Windsor Gardens. But as he explained to them at the start, "Things happen to me: I'm that sort of a bear." There's the day his basket on wheels mysteriously disappears when he's out shopping in the market. And the time he locks the Browns' grouchy old neighbor, Mr. Curry, out of his house on Halloween night. However, everyone in the family, including Paddington, agrees that a surprise visit from a long-lost relative is the start of his most exciting adventure ever. For the first time in almost thirty years, everyone's favorite bear from Darkest Peru is starring in a brand-new novel-just in time for the fiftieth anniversary of his first adventure, A Bear Called Paddington.
Paddington Races Ahead (Paddington)
by Michael Bond Peggy Fortnum R. W AlleyPaddington has warmed the hearts of generations of readers with his earnest good intentions and humorous misadventures. This brand-new edition of the classic novel contains the original text by Michael Bond and illustrations by Peggy Fortnum and R.W. Alley. Somehow Paddington always manages to find himself in strange situations. From a squishy miscommunication involving oysters and public transit to a case of mistaken identity, there’s never a dull moment when a certain bear is around!Paddington Races Ahead is the thirteenth classic novel about Michael Bond’s beloved classic character, Paddington Bear.
Paddington in Peru: The Junior Novel (Paddington)
by Annie WilsonLondon’s most adorable bear is back in the third installment of the blockbuster franchise Paddington in Peru, which features a star-studded cast, including Academy Award–winner Olivia Colman, Academy Award–nominee Antonio Banderas, and more!Join Paddington as he returns to Peru to visit his beloved Aunt Lucy, who now resides at the Home for Retired Bears. With the Brown family in tow, their trip reveals a mystery that leads to an epic quest in the Amazon and the mountain peaks of Peru.Packed with marvelous mishaps and marmalade sandwiches, this novelization of the film is the perfect gift for those who want to relive Paddington's adventures at home! Featuring an 8-page full-color photo insert from the film Paddington in Peru, this retelling of the film is sure to delight any Paddington fan.
Paddington's Finest Hour (Paddington)
by Michael Bond R. W. Alley Peggy FortnumA brand-new title from Michael Bond chronicling new and exciting adventures of Paddington Bear!Somehow Paddington always finds himself in extraordinary situations, so it is no surprise when he appears in a popular TV cooking show, finds himself on a stage giving one of his hard stares to a hypnotist, and performing some precarious tricks at Mr. Gruber’s birthday party. For nearly sixty years, Paddington has enchanted readers around the world with his numerous misadventures and earnest good intentions. From master storyteller Michael Bond, and with interior illustrations by R. W. Alley, this new Paddington adventure will charm and delight readers of all ages.
Paddington: A Bear Called Paddington, More About Paddington, Paddington Helps Out (Paddington)
by Michael BondOver fifty years ago, a small bear set out on the adventure of a lifetime. With nothing but a suitcase, several jars of marmalade, and a label around his neck that read, "Please look after this bear. Thank you," he crossed the ocean heading for England. When he arrived at London's busy Paddington Station, he was discovered by Mr. and Mrs. Brown. As luck would have it, the Browns were just the sort of people to welcome a lost bear into their family—and their lives would never be the same.Paddington Bear has charmed readers around the world with his earnest good intentions and humorous misadventures. This newly repackaged edition of the classic picture book, with illustrations by R. W. Alley, is the perfect introduction to Paddington Bear for young readers.
Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals For Delicious Living
by Nick OffermanParks and Recreation actor Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in his first book. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman; who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking; he runs his own woodshop; Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois. "I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield"; to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes.
Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
by Nick OffermanWhen it comes to growing a robust mustache, masticating red meat, building a chair, or wooing a woman, who better to educate you than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in carpentry, Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood (born, literally, in the middle of an Illinois cornfield) to his theater days in Chicago to the, frankly, magnificent seduction of his wife, Megan Mullally. Offerman also shares his hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, styles, and religion, and invaluable advice on getting the utmost pleasure out of woodworking, assorted meats, outdoor recreations, and other palatable entrees.le readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes.
Paddywack (Step into Reading)
by Stephanie Spinner Daniel HowarthPaddywack is a petite nine hands high, and every pony inch is packed full of spunk. It hasn't been easy, but he now has his rider, Jane, well trained. He'll trot. He'll canter. He'll jump the jumps. He's a perfect pony . . . when she gives him treats. But on the day of the big horse show, Jane is so nervous she forgets his treats. Will Paddywack dig in his hooves? Or can he rise to the occasion?This sweet story is sure to capture young horse-lovers' hearts.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Pagan Babies: and Other Catholic Memories
by Gina CasconeAs a child, Gina Cascone would hide under her bed, in the closet, and run away from her parents, hoping somehow to escape her worst fear. But she couldn't hide from the awful truth. . . She had to go to Catholic school. Do nuns have legs? Is Original Sin the "starter sin" for novices? Can the rosary be said in under fifteen minutes? These are some of the questionsthat vex young Gina Cascone as she makes her way, grade by grade -- and prayer by prayer -- through the rigors of a Catholic education. All the answers can be found in this hilarious classic of childhood foibles: the traumatic first day of school, the dorky plaid uniform complete withmatching beanie, glow-in-the-dark rosary beads, first confession trauma, proper dashboard decor ("Cadillacs got Jesus; Oldsmobiles got Mary"), and the race to save the most "pagan babies," who weren't lucky enough to be born Catholic and American.
Pagan Enchantment: A Millionaire Romance
by Carole MortimerRead this classic romance by USA Today bestselling author Carole Mortimer, now available for the first time in e-book!Swept away by the millionaire…Promising young actress, Merry Charles, is beyond excited when celebrated movie director, Gideon Steele, arrives to see her play. She can’t help but dream that it’s so he can offer her a part in his next production. But Gideon’s reasons are much more personal…Soon Merry finds herself being swept away to the Mediterranean on Gideon’s luxury yacht, posing as his girlfriend! But Gideon has another surprise for Merry—he’s her stepbrother!—and suddenly Merry finds herself bound closer to this millionaire than she ever expected!Originally published in 1983
Pai Natal?
by Dan Alatorre Joana VenâncioUma visita rotineira a uma loja cria uma oportunidade de ouro para um carinhoso pai guardar uma terrível memória de Natal na sua filha de três anos. Cheio de humor e amor, esta história vai fazê-lo rir e folhear o livro para ver se o estranho de blusa vermelha e barba branca é...o Pai Natal?
Pain Don't Hurt: Fighting Inside and Outside the Ring
by Mark Miller Shelby JonesPain Don’t Hurt is the no-holds-barred memoir from the only professional fighter in history to return to the ring after open-heart surgery, kickboxer Mark “Fightshark” Miller—an inspiring story of family, determination, and redemption.In 2007, Mark Miller was a rising star in professional kickboxing, until a routine physical uncovered a serious condition that required open-heart surgery. The crisis helped to temporarily reunite his fractured family and made Miller more determined than ever to return to the kickboxing ring. But within a year, his parents and brother were all dead, and Miller’s fragile optimism imploded, sending him into a tailspin of drugs and alcohol.Pain Don’t Hurt is a story of incredible tenacity, dedication, and hard work—how one fierce competitor overcame repeated obstacles to realize his dreams. Miller recounts stories ranging from his childhood spent in the Steelers locker room to the surprising life lessons he learned from other fighters to his triumphant return to fighting in a Moscow kickboxing ring. He talks sincerely about family and fatherhood—of the hard lessons about masculinity and violence learned from his father. He also offers an inspiring, exciting, and frank account of the fights—both in and out of the ring—that have shaped him.A deeply personal account of guts, blood, and glory, Pain Don’t Hurt pays tribute to the never-say-die spirit embodied in a man who refuses to back down, no matter the odds.
Painfully British Haikus
by Dale Shaw'Will make everybody laugh' DOLLY ALDERTON ON THE HIGH LOWEnjoy this hilarious collection of over 200 haikus that sum up the complex, confusing and often compounding character of the British people.The Sellotape endUnlocatable it seemsChristmas is cancelledHow many gin tinsIs decreed appropriate For this train journey? The sound of a splashMy Hobnob falls to piecesMy tea is sulliedEvery houseplantSuffers a slow painful deathI am a monsterYou're at the seasideA seagull eyes your MagnumYou won't win that fight
Paint Your Dragon
by Tom Holt'Another imaginative and seriously funny novel from a master of the humorous fantasy genre.' - BOOKS MAGAZINE'Only a writer like Holt could make this work quite so well, and he does with great skill. Lots of fun.' - MANCHESTER EVENING NEWSOne moment Bianca's sculpture of St George is lacking just the final touches, the next, it's lacking a dragon. This is only the first step in a fight between good and evil, involving some heavyweight gamblers, a time entrepreneur, a dragon, St George, and some hideous but endearing demons.From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry PratchettBooks by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Paint Your Dragon
by Tom Holt'Another imaginative and seriously funny novel from a master of the humorous fantasy genre.' - BOOKS MAGAZINE'Only a writer like Holt could make this work quite so well, and he does with great skill. Lots of fun.' - MANCHESTER EVENING NEWSOne moment Bianca's sculpture of St George is lacking just the final touches, the next, it's lacking a dragon. This is only the first step in a fight between good and evil, involving some heavyweight gamblers, a time entrepreneur, a dragon, St George, and some hideous but endearing demons.From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry PratchettBooks by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Paint the Town Black
by Arthur BlackArthur Black's best lines are like a shot of whisky-sharp, invigorating and with a good kick. Following the success of his many previous titles, the multiple-award-winning humorist once again delivers "black-to-black" laughs with his latest collection, Paint the Town Black. With his usual off-kilter perspective, Black tackles many of the pressing topics of the day, including some positive PR for the swastika, the sometimes fatal effects of poor penmanship and the burning question of whether one-time Thunder Bay mayor Walter "Jolly Wally" Assef really did pat the queen's bum. The answer: "Somebody must have tipped Prince Philip off about the mayor's meandering mitts because Phil watched Wally like a hawk. Wally's hands never got near the royal end zone." Many edifying historical facts are cunningly hidden among the laughs. For instance, how many Canadians remember Gerda Munsinger, the probable Soviet spy who got deported for sleeping her way through half of Diefenbaker's cabinet? And then there's Senator Incitatus, whose office was made of marble and who literally ate gold for lunch. Don't worry, this isn't one of Harper's recent appointees-Incitatus was a racehorse appointed to the Roman senate by his owner, Emperor Caligula. So settle into your favourite chair, pour yourself a shot of something strong and get ready to Paint the Town Black.
Paint the Town Dead (An Aurora Anderson Mystery #2)
by Sybil Johnson“Plenty of charming characters, red herrings, labyrinthine twists and turns and brushes with death before you can even begin to guess whodunit” (Connie Archer, national bestselling author). It’s June in the quiet Los Angeles County city of Vista Beach, the place computer programmer and tole-painting enthusiast Aurora “Rory” Anderson calls home. Decorative painters are flocking to the newly built Akaw hotel to attend the Ocean Painting Society’s inaugural convention. During the weeklong event, Rory plans on shopping the trade show floor, working in her mother’s booth, taking classes and connecting with other decorative painting fans. She doesn’t expect to witness her childhood friend collapse in class and die. When the police find no evidence of foul play, Rory embarks on her own investigation. Can she brush aside the lies to uncover the truth and bring the killer to justice? “A very good cozy that will keep you up at night until Rory finds out exactly what’s going on.” —Suspense Magazine “An engaging mystery set amidst a painting convention and showcases the complexity of relationships when a tragedy strikes.” —Christina Freeburn, author of Altered to Death
Paint the Town Dead (An Aurora Anderson Mystery #2)
by Sybil Johnson“Plenty of charming characters, red herrings, labyrinthine twists and turns and brushes with death before you can even begin to guess whodunit” (Connie Archer, national bestselling author). It’s June in the quiet Los Angeles County city of Vista Beach, the place computer programmer and tole-painting enthusiast Aurora “Rory” Anderson calls home. Decorative painters are flocking to the newly built Akaw hotel to attend the Ocean Painting Society’s inaugural convention. During the weeklong event, Rory plans on shopping the trade show floor, working in her mother’s booth, taking classes and connecting with other decorative painting fans. She doesn’t expect to witness her childhood friend collapse in class and die. When the police find no evidence of foul play, Rory embarks on her own investigation. Can she brush aside the lies to uncover the truth and bring the killer to justice? “A very good cozy that will keep you up at night until Rory finds out exactly what’s going on.” —Suspense Magazine “An engaging mystery set amidst a painting convention and showcases the complexity of relationships when a tragedy strikes.” —Christina Freeburn, author of Altered to Death
Painted Devils (Little Thieves #2)
by Margaret OwenAn Instant New York Times Bestseller!An Instant Indies Bestseller!A scrappy former maid and jewel thief must outwit gods, injustice, and her own past in this sequel to the Indie Next Pick, Little Thieves by Margaret Owen.Let's get one thing straight - Vanja Schmidt wasn't trying to start a cult.After taking down a corrupt margrave, breaking a deadly curse, and finding romance with the vexingly scrupulous junior prefect Emeric Conrad, Vanja had one great mystery left: her long-lost birth family . . . and whether they would welcome a thief. But in her search for an honest trade, she hit trouble and invented a god, the Scarlet Maiden, to scam her way out. Now that lie is growing out of control—especially when Emeric arrives to investigate and the Scarlet Maiden manifests to claim him as a virgin sacrifice.For his final test to become a prefect, Emeric must determine if Vanja is guilty of serious fraud or if the Scarlet Maiden—and her claim to him—is genuine. Meanwhile, Vanja is chasing an alternative sacrifice that could be their way out. The hunt leads her not only into the lairs of monsters and the paths of gods, but also the ties of her past. And with what should be the simplest way to save Emeric hanging over their heads, he and Vanja must face a more dangerous question: Is there a future for a thief and a prefect, and at what price?From the indie bestselling author Margaret Owen comes the thrilling next installment in the Little Thieves trilogy with all new interior illustrations from the author.
Painting For Keeps (Cupid's Café #2)
by Landra GrafAn invitation to Cupid’s Café will change your life.Agatha, Aggie, Kakos lost her boyfriend, her apartment, and now, is one brownie bite away from purging her binge when an invitation to Cupid’s Café shows up on her doorstep. Fighting bulimia and her mother’s constant verbal abuse has never been easy, but this nutritionist is determined to be stronger than her weakest link. She’ll meet a secret admirer at Cupid’s for a morale booster, if nothing else. Following a break-in and the destruction of his paintings, starving artist Murphy O’Shea finds himself at wit’s end. Not only does he need to create twelve more paintings, but in the midst of another manic depressive episode, the challenge seems impossible. He’s got two months or he’ll have to cancel his first show. The Cupid’s Café invite offers him a chance to find his muse. He doesn’t expect it to be the woman he’s mirrored the past two years paintings on, nor does he plan on being able to offer Aggie the help she needs. Can they find a way to conquer their inner demons or will they succumb to the idea they aren’t worth a happily ever after?
Paisley Mischief
by Lincoln MacveaghPaisley Mischief is a delightfully droll satire set in the most exclusive private men's club on New York's Park Avenue. The Avenue Club is a place where rich banker-types meet in easy camaraderie and no one wears trunks in the pool, because when you're the right sort of person, you're supposed to have nothing to hide.
Palabra de Dios Tuitero
by Dios TuiteroEl humor más divertido y corrosivo de uno de los interlocutores más conocidos del mundo digital. Dios@diostuitero # 1MHice el mundo en 6 días, ¿qué queríais?Provengo de un hogar desestructurado:madre virgen, padre palomo y durmiendoen un pesebre. Hola, soy Dios tuitero, también conocido por ser el autor en la sombra del bestseller más leído de todos los tiempos, la Biblia. Después de una eternidad sin escribir más de 140 caracteres seguidos he decidido volver a la literatura para contar toda la verdad. ¿Que qué es toda la verdad? Pues mi versión de los hechos, mi historia según yo mismo, que ya está bien de intermediarios, que luego resulta que lo tergiversan todo... Si queréis saber lo que realmente pasó, poneros al día sobre mis mandamientos y tener de primera mano consejos prácticos sobre cómo conseguir triunfar en el mundo de las religiones comerciales y las relacionesespirituales, este es vuestro libro. Si solo queréis pasar un buen rato, comprad la Superpop. Dios tuitero es un fenómeno en Twitter con más de 150.000 seguidores y en continuo crecimiento. Desde su cuenta @diostuitero, el Altísimo comenta los diferentes temas de actualidad (religión, política, sociedad, música...) desde la crítica ácida y la ironía de un personaje que se debate entre sus variopintos papeles de padre adoptivo, hijo de sí mismo y creador de la humanidad. ALGUNOS TWEETS DIVINOS:No os quiero enamorar, pero si me caéis bien extermino a los primogénitos de vuestros enemigos. Hay quien dice que no existo, y entonces, ¡zás, en toda la boca!, cojo y abro otro colegio católico. 1) Pagas Seguridad Social toda tu vida. 2) Un tío estudia medicina 6 años. 3) Te opera con éxito. 4) Yo me llevo el mérito y las gracias. Qué ignorantes los científicos, diciendo que compartís un tercio del genoma con la levadura. ¡Si todo el mundo sabe que os hice de barro! Las cosas claras, y la religión espesa. ¡Cristo ha resucitado!¿Y dónde está?Ha subido a los cielos. Se ha llevado la fórmula de la conversión del vino.¡Qué cabrón! (Mt 8) Solo Chanquete y yo morimos todos los años. La Biblia es el libro sobre zombis más serio que se ha escrito nunca. Los seguidores de @DiosTuitero opinan...«Soy fan de @DiosTuitero en Twitter desde que tenía doce seguidores, y es genial descubrir que su talento para crear humor desde su divina y blanca nube no ha mermado ni un ápice ahora que es una estrella de las redes sociales. Su libro es ameno, divertido y hace pensar, así que no sé a qué demonios estás esperando... Únete a los fieles.»Juan Gómez-Jurado «Gratamente sorprendido. Un alarde de ingenio en cada página, humor y amor en un tuit prolongado que es este libro firmado por @diostuitero. La versión del Antiguo Testamento es sencillamente genial, cargada de causticidad en cada frase, en cada párrafo. Muy recomendable para descojonarse vivo, que falta hace. De obligada lectura en institutos.»César Pérez Gellida «El libro más divertido que me he leído en mucho tiempo.» «Se lee en un suspiro y, al revés de lo que ocurre con la Biblia, te deja con ganas de que saque otro Testamento pronto.» «Ya no tengo que esperar, este libro es la biblia para cualquier diostuiteriano.» «Absolutamente ceñido a pasajes de la Biblia, te hace desternillarte y reflexionar en muchos momentos.»