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Stupid American History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions (Stupid History #3)
by Leland GregoryAmerica is the home of the brave and, apparently, the stupid and gullible. Satirist Leland Gregory teaches us a lesson in historical hilarity with Stupid American History.From Columbus to George W. Bush (that's a lot of material, people), Leland leads us through American history's mythconceptions, exposing idiocy and inanity along the time line. He reeducates by informing us about myths. For example, Samuel Prescott actually was the guy to alert us that the British were coming and not that Paul Revere dude.Move over Colbert and Stewart; satire has finally found its rightful place in American history.Excerpt from the book:"John Tyler was on his knees playing marbles when he was informed that Benjamin Harrison had died and he was now president of the United States. At that time marbles was a very popular game for both children and grown-ups."For reasons still unknown, Texas congressman Thomas Lindsay Blanton, a Presbyterian Sunday school teacher and prohibitionist, inserted dirty words into the Congressional Record in 1921. His colleagues overwhelmingly censured him on October 24, 1921, by a vote of 293-0."
Stupid Ancient History (Stupid History #14)
by Leland GregoryWeird, wild, and little-known facts about long-lost empires from the New York Times-bestselling author . . . To fight off Roman ships in 300 BC, Carthaginians catapulted live snakes at them The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation when gifts of cloaks were showered upon him by grateful citizens at an Aegina theater in 620 BC A dead man won an early Olympic event Nero not only didn&’t play a musical instrument while Rome burned, he actually tried to help—but he did scapegoat Christians afterward and subject them to terrible fates Silly, shocking, weird, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the anecdotes in Stupid Ancient History chronicle Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, Egyptian mummies, and much more—revealing little-known oddities and busting historic mythconceptions. Discover Biblical misattributions; the nine-year-old girl who spotted a bogus ancient relic in a British museum; the person Caesar salad was actually named after (not Julius)—and much more!
Stupid California: Idiots in the Golden State (Stupid History #5)
by Leland GregoryBest-selling author Leland Gregory--who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--is back with Stupid California.This time, Gregory builds a case for the common suspicion that Californians, from movie moguls to beach bums, have a special affinity for idiocy. Culled from print, online, and broadcast sources, Stupid California is a hilarious collection of true stories, trivia, and factoids about the Golden State, such as: * "California's state animal is the California grizzly bear, which is also on the state flag. The bear was honored in 1953, a full 31 years after the last known bear in the state was killed."* "During the 1980s, in a bold stroke against terrorism, the Chico City Council banned nuclear weapons, enacting a mandatory $500 fine for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon within city limits."Silly, shocking, weird, and amusing, Stupid California is ideal for both kinds of people--those who love California and those who hate it.
Stupid Conservatives: Weird and Wacky Tales from the Right Wing (Stupid History #12)
by Leland GregoryLeland Gregory's 17 previous humor collections with AMP are all in print and all are staples on the humor backlist, including Stupid American History, which was a New York Times best-seller, and Stupid History, which has shipped over 130,000 copies. Silly, shocking, weird, and hilariously funny, the one- or two-paragraph anecdotes that comprise Gregory's new anthology of stupid things said and done by American conservatives--politicians, citizens, journalists, professionals, workers, anyone who stands to the right of center--are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Here's a sample: * "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up.' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining." --Glenn Beck, September 9, 2005
Stupid Cupid
by Rhonda StapletonFelicity's no ordinary teen matchmaker...she's a cupid!Felicity Walker believes in true love. That's why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid's Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn't just a matchmaker...she's a cupid! (There's more than one of them, you know.) Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But when she bends the rules of cupidity by matching her best friend Maya with three different boys at once, disaster strikes. Felicity needs to come up with a plan to set it all right, pronto, before she gets fired ¦and before Maya ends up with her heart split in three.
Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Through the Ages (Stupid History Ser. #2)
by Leland GregoryA treasury of historical hilarity from the New York Times-bestselling coauthor of America&’s Dumbest Criminals! Why exactly is Paul Revere revered when it was Samuel Prescott who made the famous ride? Was the lightbulb really Thomas Edison&’s bright idea? Bestselling author and former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory employs his masterful wit to expose historical myths, faux &“facts,&” strange events, and tales of human stupidity throughout history. You&’ll learn that: * Magellan didn&’t actually make it around the world * As a member of Parliament, Isaac Newton spoke only once, and it wasn&’t exactly a statement of political brilliance for the ages * On April 24, 1898, Spain declared war on the U.S., thus starting the Spanish-American War—and then the U.S. declared war the very next day, but not wanting to be outdone, had the date on the declaration changed from April 25 to April 21 With these and many more stories, Leland Gregory once again highlights the funny side of history.
Stupid Liberals: Weird and Wacky Tales from the Left Wing (Stupid History #13)
by Leland GregoryLeland Gregory's 17 previous humor collections with AMP are all in print and all are staples on the humor backlist, including Stupid American History, which was a New York Times best-seller, and Stupid History, which has shipped over 130,000 copies. Silly, shocking, weird, and hilariously funny, the one- or two-paragraph anecdotes that comprise Gregory's new anthology of stupid things said and done by American liberals--politicians, citizens, journalists, professionals, workers, anyone who stands to the left of center--are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Here's a sample: * Residents of Longmont, Colorado, voted to abolish all "Dead End" signs and replace them with "No Outlet" signs. The local citizenry felt the "Dead End" signs were too unpleasant.
Stupid Movie Lines: The 776 Dumbest Things Ever Uttered on the Silver Screen
by Ross Petras Kathryn PetrasThe creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors. " --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people. " --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now. " --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad. " --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Stupid TV, Be More Funny: How the Golden Era of The Simpsons Changed Television-and America-Forever
by Alan SiegelThis comprehensive account of the meteoric rise of The Simpsons combines incisive pop culture criticism and interviews with the show&’s creative team that take readers inside the making of an American phenomenon during its most influential decade, the 1990s.The Simpsons is an American institution. But its status as an occasionally sharp yet ultimately safe sitcom that's still going after 33 years on the air undercuts its revolutionary origins. The early years of the animated series didn't just impact Hollywood, they changed popular culture. It was a show that altered the way we talked around the watercooler, in school hallways, and on the campaign trail, by bridging generations with its comedic sensibility and prescient cultural commentary. In Stupid TV, Be More Funny, writer Alan Siegel reveals how the first decade of the show laid the groundwork for the series' true influence. He explores how the show's rise from 1990 to 1998 intertwined with the supposedly ascendent post-Cold War America, turning Fox into the juggernaut we know today, simultaneously shaking its head at America's culture wars while finding itself in the middle of them. By packing the book with anecdotes from icons like Conan O&’Brien and Yeardley Smith, Siegel alaso provides readers with an unparalleled look inside the making of the show. Through interviews with the show's legendary staff and whip-smart analysis, Siegel charts how The Simpsons developed its singular sensibility throughout the &‘90s, one that was at once groundbreakingly subversive for a primetime cartoon and shocking wholesome. The result is a definitive history of The Simpsons' most essential decade.
Stupid Texas: Idiots in the Lone Star State (Stupid History #6)
by Leland GregoryNew York Times best-selling author Leland Gregory is definitely messing with Texas in his book Stupid Texas.This time, Leland--who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--collects evidence to prove the widespread belief that deep in the heart of Texans lies an extraordinary capacity for absurdity. Culled from print, online, and broadcast media, Stupid Texas is an uproarious collection of true stories, trivia, and factoids about the Lone Star State, such as:* "In 1875, James Stephen Hogg, the first native-born Texan to become the state's governor, named his daughter--Ima."* In 1984, a Texas District Court judge sentenced a 31-year-old Houston man to 35 years in prison--for stealing a 12-ounce, $2 can of Spam."Ridiculous, outrageous, bizarre, and comical, Stupid Texas is ideal for both kinds of people--those who love Texas and those who hate it.
Stupid on the Road: Idiots on Planes, Trains, Buses, and Cars (Stupid History #7)
by Leland GregoryThe bestselling chronicler of human stupidity shares tales of unruly passengers, dumb drivers, and the people who put the &“loco&” in locomotive . . . New York Times-bestselling author Leland Gregory presents a riotous collection of the unbelievably bizarre events and behavior that result when people strap themselves in for a ride. Gregory, who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity&’s stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, and more—now turns his attention to idiots on the road, on the rails, and in the air. From mind-boggling insurance claims (&“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car&”), to the cops who went after an erratic driver and found an iguana at the wheel, to the overweight woman who thought the airline purposely put a tag calling her &“FAT&” on her luggage (it was the airport code for Fresno), these true stories ranging from the horrifying to the hilarious will have you shaking your head at the misadventures that have occurred as people attempt to get from point A to point B.
Stupidest Things Ever Said: Book of All-Time Stupidest Top 10 Lists (Page-a-day Calendars Ser.)
by Ross Petras Kathryn PetrasNot just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the cre`me de la cre`me of stupidities, made even funnier and more compelling in an irresistible top 10 list format. Try one:The Top 10 Stupidest Actual Book Titles:1. A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry 2. Constipation and our Civilization 3. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers 4. The Secret of Sphincters 5. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating 6. Life and Laughter ’midst the Cannibals 7. Be Bold With Bananas 8. Hand-Grenade Throwing as a College Sport 9. Collect Fungi on Stamps10. A Study of Hospital Waiting Lists in Cardiff, 1953–1954Plus lost-in-translation moments. Doubles entendres. Political speeches, foreign menus, traffic signs. Celebrities on literature, on homelessness, on revealing too much about themselves. Mangled cliche´s and bizarre analogies, the wit of the witless and comedy of the clueless—never before have so many said something so dumb, now in one book.
Stutterer Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn't Happen
by Nina G.Nina G bills herself as “The San Francisco Bay Area’s Only Female Stuttering Comedian.” On stage, she encounters the occasional heckler, but off stage she is often confronted with people’s comments toward her stuttering; listeners completing her sentences, inquiring, “Did you forget your name?” and giving unwanted advice like “slow down and breathe” are common. (As if she never thought about slowing down and breathing in her over thirty years of stuttering!) When Nina started comedy nearly ten years ago, she was the only woman in the world of stand-up who stuttered—not a surprise, since men outnumber women four to one amongst those who stutter and comedy is a male-dominated profession. Nina’s brand of comedy reflects the experience of many people with disabilities in that the problem with disability isn’t in the person with it but in a society that isn’t always accessible or inclusive.
Stutterer Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn't Happen
by Nina G.Nina G bills herself as “The San Francisco Bay Area’s Only Female Stuttering Comedian.” On stage, she encounters the occasional heckler, but off stage she is often confronted with people’s comments toward her stuttering; listeners completing her sentences, inquiring, “Did you forget your name?” and giving unwanted advice like “slow down and breathe” are common. (As if she never thought about slowing down and breathing in her over thirty years of stuttering!) When Nina started comedy nearly ten years ago, she was the only woman in the world of stand-up who stuttered—not a surprise, since men outnumber women four to one amongst those who stutter and comedy is a male-dominated profession. Nina’s brand of comedy reflects the experience of many people with disabilities in that the problem with disability isn’t in the person with it but in a society that isn’t always accessible or inclusive.
Style
by Joseph ConnollyTerence is sick of people making a fuss of Alexander. His looks. His money. His fame. Who wouldn't resent so successful a son? Even if he is only ten years old. Joseph Connolly's brilliant new comedy of manners weaves together a domestic tableaux of characters - those with old-fashioned manners, tabloid manners, and no manners at all - in a satire on oedipal envy, neighbourly rivalry and the shameless stupidity of our fame-fuelled society.
Style
by Joseph ConnollyTerence is sick of people making a fuss of Alexander. His looks. His money. His fame. Who wouldn't resent so successful a son? Even if he is only ten years old. Joseph Connolly's brilliant new comedy of manners weaves together a domestic tableaux of characters - those with old-fashioned manners, tabloid manners, and no manners at all - in a satire on oedipal envy, neighbourly rivalry and the shameless stupidity of our fame-fuelled society.
SubSurdity: Vignettes From Jasper Lane (SubSurdity Series #1)
by Eric ArvinSubSurdity: Book OneJasper Lane is a well-off neighborhood, not much different in appearance than most, with a tree-lined drive, manicured lawns, and crystal clear ponds. But underneath the pleasantry, a completely different world lurks. Cassie Bloom, the grand dame of Jasper Lane, has a missing son and husband and throws gay porn parties that are the social events of the year. Her best friend, a transsexual named Vera, owns a nightclub. Melinda Gold is the resident religious fanatic whose views clash with that of her son Patrick. Sandy and Steve Jones are the stereotypical all-American couple (except Steve acts in gay-for-pay porn unbeknownst to his pregnant wife). Rick Cooper just moved in, and despite his qualms about another relationship (having literally lost an eye in the previous one), he falls for ex-soldier, James. And David and Cliff are the most "normal" couple on the block... never mind that David helped Cassie with some past nefarious deed and that Cliff is the biggest gay porn star in the biz. Throw a dog named Gayhound and a dead body into the mix, and Jasper Lane may just be the gayest neighborhood in town!
Subculture Vulture: A Memoir in Six Scenes
by Moshe KasherA &“hilarious&” (Dax Shepard), &“surprisingly emotional trip&” (The Chainsmokers) through deep American subcultures ranging from Burning Man to Alcoholics Anonymous, by the writer and comedian Moshe Kasher &“Part history lesson, part standup set and, often, part love letter . . . Kasher&’s ability to blend humor with homework works almost too well.&”—The New York TimesAfter bottoming out, being institutionalized, and getting sober all by the tender age of fifteen, Moshe Kasher found himself asking: &“What&’s next?&” Over the ensuing decades, he discovered the answer: a lot.There was his time as a boy-king of Alcoholics Anonymous, a kind of pubescent proselytizer for other teens getting and staying sober. He was a rave promoter turned DJ turned sober ecstasy dealer in San Francisco&’s techno warehouse party scene of the 1990s. For fifteen years he worked as a psychedelic security guard at Burning Man, fishing hippies out of hidden chambers they&’d constructed to try to sneak into the event. As a child of deaf parents, Kasher became deeply immersed in deaf culture and sign language interpretation, translating everything from end-of-life care to horny deaf clients&’ attempts to hire sex workers. He reconnects and tries to make peace with his ultra-Hasidic Jewish upbringing after the death of his father before finally settling into the comedy scene where he now makes his living.Each of these scenes gets a gonzo historiographical rundown before Kasher enters the narrative and tells the story of the lives he has spent careening from one to the next. A razor-sharp, gut-wrenchingly funny, and surprisingly moving tour of some of the most wildly distinct subcultures a person can experience, Subculture Vulture deftly weaves together memoir and propulsive cultural history. It&’s a story of finding your people, over and over again, in different settings, and of knowing without a doubt that wherever you are is where you&’re supposed to be.
Submarine
by Joe DunthorneBONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Joe Dunthorne's Wild Abandon.At once a self-styled social scientist, a spy in the baffling adult world, and a budding, hormone-driven emotional explorer, Oliver Tate is stealthily nosing his way forward through the murky and uniquely perilous waters of adolescence. His objectives? Uncovering the secrets behind his parents' teetering marriage, unraveling the mystery that is his alluring and equally quirky classmate Jordana Bevan, and understanding where he fits in among the mystifying beings in his orbit. Struggling to buoy his parents' wedded bliss, deep-six his own virginity, and sound the depths of heartache, happiness, and the business of being human, what's a lad to do? Poised precariously on the cusp of innocence and experience, Oliver Tate aims to damn the torpedoes and take the plunge.Now a major motion picture. powers of imagination-in order to put things right again. But a covert expedition into the mysterious territory of middle-aged malaise is bound to be tricky business for a teenager with more to learn about the agonies and ecstasies of life than a pocket thesaurus and his "worldly" school chum Chips can teach him. Ready or not, however, Oliver is about to get a crash course. His awkwardly torrid and tender relationship with Jordana is hurtling at the speed of teenage passion toward the inevitable magic moment . . . and whatever lies beyond. And his boy-detective exploits have set him on a collision course with the New Age old flame who's resurfaced in his mother's life to lead her into temptation with lessons in surfing, self-defense . . . and maybe seduction. Struggling to buoy his parents' wedded bliss, deep-six his own virginity, and sound the depths of heartache, happiness, and the business of being human, what's a lad to do? Poised precariously on the cusp of innocence and experience, yesterday's daydreams and tomorrow's decisions, Oliver Tate aims to damn the torpedoes and take the plunge.From the Hardcover edition.
Submerged (Virago Modern Classics #40)
by A.L. BarkerA.L. Barker dissects the unnerving emotions of everyday life with the sly humour and exquisite feel for language that prompted Auberon Waugh to declare that she 'writes like an angel and I love her'.In this, her tenth collection of stories, she unfolds tales of cunning, fancy, and shifting alliances. Here a young boy fosters grand illusions; a wife faces broken promises; a dutiful committee woman meets a sparky old gentleman; a witch is drowned; an intruder insinuates himself into a lonely woman's holiday; and commonplace superstition mingles effortlessly with submerged desire.
Subpar Parks: America's Most Extraordinary National Parks and Their Least Impressed Visitors
by Amber Share**A New York Times Bestseller!** Based on the wildly popular Instagram account, Subpar Parks features both the greatest hits and brand-new content, all celebrating the incredible beauty and variety of America&’s national parks juxtaposed with the clueless and hilarious one-star reviews posted by visitors. Subpar Parks, both on the popular Instagram page and in this humorous, informative, and collectible book, combines two things that seem like they might not work together yet somehow harmonize perfectly: beautiful illustrations and informative, amusing text celebrating each national park paired with the one-star reviews disappointed tourists have left online. Millions of visitors each year enjoy Glacier National Park, but for one visitor, it was simply "Too cold for me!" Another saw the mind-boggling vistas of Bryce Canyon as "Too spiky!" Never mind the person who visited the thermal pools at Yellowstone National Park and left thinking, &“Save yourself some money, boil some water at home.&” Featuring more than 50 percent new material, the book will include more depth and insight into the most popular parks, such as Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and Acadia National Parks; anecdotes and tips from rangers; and much more about author Amber Share's personal love and connection to the outdoors. Equal parts humor and love for the national parks and the great outdoors, it's the perfect gift for anyone who loves to spend time outside as well as have a good read (and laugh) once they come indoors.
Subpar Planet: The World's Most Celebrated Landmarks and Their Most Disappointed Visitors
by Amber ShareNew York Times bestselling author and illustrator of Subpar Parks Amber Share takes us around the globe to celebrate the world&’s greatest wonders alongside hysterical reviews from their harshest critics.The world is filled with marvels—both natural and human-made— and artist Amber Share has made it her mission to capture the unique majesty of these sites alongside reactions from some of their most vocal visitors. The Dead Sea? &“Who needs burning eyes?&” Who indeed? Big Ben? &“Just a really big clock.&” Go figure. With Share's classic spin on visitors&’ candidly cranky reviews of each location, Subpar Planet fills skeptical travelers with a wanderlust for the world's most spectacular features, including the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal, the Great Barrier Reef, Chichén Itzá, the Sahara, and many more! Equal parts hilarious and informative, Subpar Planet is perfect for seasoned globe-trotters, people interested in broadening their worldly horizons, and anyone who simply wants to see the unique ways their fellow human beings interact with the world around them.
Substitute Fiancée
by Lee WilkinsonBlaze Rawdon is convinced Francesca has a guilty secret…and when his new fiancée disappears on the eve of their engagement party, Blaze ruthlessly blackmails Francesca into becoming a temporary stand-in.Francesca is forced to play along—only, she can’t afford to fall in love with Blaze. Their brief affair three years ago ended in tears, and Francesca is determined that although she may be his substitute fiancée, she’ll resist becoming Blaze’s bride!
Substitute Me
by Lori TharpsZora Anderson is a 30-year-old African American middle class, college educated woman, trained as a chef, looking for a job. As fate would have it, Kate and Craig, a married couple, aspiring professionals with a young child are looking for a nanny.Zora seems perfect. She's an enthusiastic caretaker, a competent house keeper, a great cook. And she wants the job, despite the fact that she won't let her African American parents and brother know anything about this new career move. They expect much more from her than to use all that good education to do what so many Blacks have dreamed of not doing: working for White folks. Working as an au pair in Paris, France no less, was one thing, they could accept that. Being a servant to a couple not much older nor more educated, is yet another. Every adult character involved in this tangled web is hiding something: the husband is hiding his desire to turn a passion for comic books into a business from his wife, the wife is hiding her professional ambitions from her husband, the nanny is hiding her job from her family and maybe her motivations for staying on her job from herself.Memorable characters, real-life tensions and concerns and the charming--in a hip kind of way--modern-day Park Slope, Fort Greene, Brooklyn setting make for an un-put-down-able read.
Subtle Bodies (Vintage International)
by Norman RushIn his long-awaited new novel, Norman Rush, author of three immensely praised books set in Africa, including the best-selling classic and National Book Award-winner Mating, returns home, giving us a sophisticated, often comical, romp through the particular joys and tribulations of marriage, and the dilemmas of friendship, as a group of college friends reunites in upstate New York twenty-some years after graduation. When Douglas, the ringleader of a clique of self-styled wits of "superior sensibility" dies suddenly, his four remaining friends are summoned to his luxe estate high in the Catskills to memorialize his life and mourn his passing. Responding to an obscure sense of emergency in the call, Ned, our hero, flies in from San Francisco (where he is the main organizer of a march against the impending Iraq war), pursued instantly by his furious wife, Nina: they're at a critical point in their attempt to get Nina pregnant, and she's ovulating! It is Nina who gives us a pointed, irreverent commentary as the friends begin to catch up with one another. She is not above poking fun at some of their past exploits and the things they held dear, and she's particularly hard on the departed Douglas, who she thinks undervalued her Ned. Ned is trying manfully to discern what it was that made this clutch of souls his friends to begin with, before time, sex, work, and the brutal quirks of history shaped them into who they are now--and, simultaneously, to guess at what will come next.Subtle Bodies is filled with unexpected, funny, telling aperçus, alongside a deeper, moving exploration of the meanings of life. A novel of humor, small pleasures, deep emotions. A novel to enjoy and to ponder.