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The Alchemy of Chaos (Maradaine Novels #2)
by Marshall Ryan MarescaVeranix Calbert is The Thorn--the street vigilante-turned-legend--and a danger to Willem Fenmere, the drug kingpin of Dentonhill. Veranix is determined to stop Fenmere and the effitte drug trade, especially when he discovers that Fenmere is planning on using the Red Rabbits gang in his neighborhood. But Veranix is also a magic student at the University of Maradaine, and it's exam week. With his academic career riding on his performance, there's no time to go after Fenmere or the Red Rabbits. But when a series of pranks on campus grow deadly, it's clear that someone has a vendetta against the university, and Veranix may be the only one who can stop them...
The Alien Conspiracy: An Unofficial Fortnite Novel (Battle Royale #2)
by Cara J. StevensOn an island where everyone is a warrior, only the strong survive. The Impossibles, a squadron of inexperienced soldiers, have been recruited from across the globe, tasked with the directive to train, fight, and win the ultimate victory in Fortnite’s Battle Royale. In this series of Fortnite novelizations, follow Zane, Jax, Asha, Jin, and Blaze as they seek out adventure, uncover mysteries, and battle to become the ultimate winners of the Battle Royale. The second book in this exciting new series, The Alien Conspiracy, leaps into their second thrilling adventure: Jin has always had his theories about what is happening on the island, but now it turns out they may not be that far-fetched after all: the mysteries from outer space and the comet, the rocket, and The Visitor—alien or impostor?
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook
by W. H. MumfreyAliens are among us, and it's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn how to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet. This handbook may be the only way to avoid total annihilation of the human race. Read it and join the resistance.
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook
by W. H. MumfreyResistance is Your Prime DirectiveHave you ever experienced a sensation of missing time? Have you ever found a metallic implant somewhere in your body? It's likely that you're a victim of alien abduction, and you don't even know it.Aliens are among us. While the true intentions of these mysterious intruders from outer space are unknown, there's no doubt that their actions are nefarious. It's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn the skills necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet.Aliens want to whisk you away in the night to perform terrifying experiments on you. Isn't it time you learn how use your MP3 player to defend yourself from their paralyzing powers? Shouldn't you know how to evade the pursuit of a flying saucer? Wouldn't you sleep better at night knowing some proven hand-to-hand combat techniques guaranteed to stop your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks?Make no mistake - our world is under attack and this handbook may be the only thing standing between the human race and total annihilation. Read it and join the resistance.
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse
by W. H. MumfreyResistance is Your Prime DirectiveHave you ever experienced a sensation of missing time? Have you ever found a metallic implant somewhere in your body? It's likely that you're a victim of alien abduction, and you don't even know it.Aliens are among us. While the true intentions of these mysterious intruders from outer space are unknown, there's no doubt that their actions are nefarious. It's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn the skills necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet.Aliens want to whisk you away in the night to perform terrifying experiments on you. Isn't it time you learn how use your MP3 player to defend yourself from their paralyzing powers? Shouldn't you know how to evade the pursuit of a flying saucer? Wouldn't you sleep better at night knowing some proven hand-to-hand combat techniques guaranteed to stop your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks?Make no mistake - our world is under attack and this handbook may be the only thing standing between the human race and total annihilation. Read it and join the resistance.
The Aliens Do NOT Want to Go Home
by Adam GustavsonAn uproariously funny intergalactic read-aloud from the creator of The Froggies Do NOT Want to Sleep. When it's time for the aliens to go home, the excuses begin. . . .A super silly picture book, perfect for 4-7 year olds who love to laugh and never want their playtime to end!The alien kids are having a great time invading planet Earth. When their parents show up with spaceship tractor beams, they don't want to go home. They aren't ready, they don't have their shoes on, and besides, it's not even dark yet!Adam Gustavson's illustrations are expressive, hilarious, and also gorgeous works of art. But most importantly, young beings of any species are sure to get their giggles out and relate to wanting the fun to go on … and on … and on.
The Aliens Have Landed!
by Kenn NesbittFrom the back cover: If aliens ever visit Earth, they'll definitely want to take this book home with them. No other souvenir will do after they've seen the world through Kenn Nesbitt's eyes-a world full of mashed potatoes on the ceiling, kangaruplets, skunks in love, antigravity machines, and a jillion other imaginative subjects. No matter what planet you live on, you'll want this book, too . . . it's packed with far-out, funny, clever poems guaranteed to give you a galactic case of the giggles.
The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion: A Novel
by Fannie FlaggThe one and only Fannie Flagg, beloved author of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Can't Wait to Get to Heaven, and I Still Dream About You, is at her hilarious and superb best in this new comic mystery novel about two women who are forced to reimagine who they are. Mrs. Sookie Poole of Point Clear, Alabama, has just married off the last of her daughters and is looking forward to relaxing and perhaps traveling with her husband, Earle. The only thing left to contend with is her mother, the formidable Lenore Simmons Krackenberry. Lenore may be a lot of fun for other people, but is, for the most part, an overbearing presence for her daughter. Then one day, quite by accident, Sookie discovers a secret about her mother's past that knocks her for a loop and suddenly calls into question everything she ever thought she knew about herself, her family, and her future. Sookie begins a search for answers that takes her to California, the Midwest, and back in time, to the 1940s, when an irrepressible woman named Fritzi takes on the job of running her family's filling station. Soon truck drivers are changing their routes to fill up at the All-Girl Filling Station. Then, Fritzi sees an opportunity for an even more groundbreaking adventure. As Sookie learns about the adventures of the girls at the All-Girl Filling Station, she finds herself with new inspiration for her own life. Fabulous, fun-filled, spanning decades and generations, and centered on a little-known aspect of America's twentieth-century story, The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion is another irresistible novel by the remarkable Fannie Flagg. Advance praise for The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion "Fannie Flagg is a fantastic storyteller. She surprises the reader in every chapter with unexpected twists and turns. The only problem I had with this fascinating story is that it ended too soon. I can't wait for her next book."--Carol Burnett "The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion is an absolute joy to read, full of Fannie Flagg's trademark humor, warmth, tenderness, and heart. If you're looking for a novel to lift your spirits and make you smile, this is definitely the book for you."--Kristin Hannah "An engaging, heartfelt story where family secrets unfurl and the past reshapes the present in surprising ways. Fannie Flagg has crafted a love letter to the courageous women who accomplished the extraordinary on the homefront during World War II."--Beth Hoffman "Sly and funny, and a delight from beginning to end. Reading Fannie Flagg is like sitting on the porch and listening to a master storyteller, until night falls and the tale is finally told, then not wanting to move a muscle because the story is still resonating in the quiet around you."--Sarah Addison Allen "The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion has all of the ingredients we hope to find in a Fannie Flagg novel. With its unforgettable characters, wildly hilarious scenes, and deeply touching moments, this novel is loaded with delights."--Edward Kelsey MooreFrom the Hardcover edition.
The Ally: A Novel
by Iván RepilaIn this unexpectedly hilarious social novel, a misguided thirty-something tries to beat his girlfriend at her own game: becoming the ultimate feminist.When he first meets Najwa at a lecture by Siri Hustvedt—whom he&’s never read—our hero discovers a whole new world of feminist thought. Determined to impress her, he sets out sincerely on his journey to allyship. His mother confides in him about the dreams she had to sacrifice because of the patriarchy, and he laments the violence and oppression women face. But he can&’t help but notice that they&’re going about their activism the wrong way… So our hero does what any good ally should: he gathers the worst of the macho men in town and begins a campaign to provoke the feminists. By &“putting them in their place&” with this phallic club—pelting demonstrators with raw eggs, posting obscene, threatening manifestos—he&’s convinced he can make women understand, and get them to fight harder for the cause. Following him as his plan spectacularly fails, The Ally mixes humor, clever storytelling, and hard-core feminist theory to lampoon the macho superiority complex and our modern gender wars.
The Almost True Story of Ryan Fisher
by Rob StennettMeet Ryan Fisher. He's young, energetic, and needs an edge in the real estate market. He's found the perfect niche: Christians. His business doubles when he advertises in the Christian business directory, and he begins to think he could really cash in by planting a church. But when the church takes off, Ryan is in over his head. Also features Z+ bonus materials; including, author interview, added content, fun facts, and more.
The Alphabet Of Manliness (revised and updated)
by MaddoxSometimes in life you say certain words in conjunction with other words that you normally wouldn't, such as the word "holy" and the word "shit." Those times are rare and celebrated. Well, get your face hole ready, because this is one of those times: introducing The Alphabet of Manliness: Special Edition! If it's a crime to be awesome, then I deserve three life sentences and the death penalty. This literary kick to the dick may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. The new edition includes: * "The Numbers of Manliness." * A full-color insert * Corrections to typos! I, Maddox, the author, personally guarantee that this is the best edition of the book since the last one. This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged sons of bitches out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to pick up a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted or busting balls alike. If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.
The Alphabet's Alphabet
by Chris HarrisFor fans of P is for Pterodactyl comes this groundbreaking spin on the ABCs from an acclaimed bestselling author and artist duo!Here's a totally twisted take on the alphabet that invites readers to look at it in a whole new way: An A is an H that just won't stand up right, a B is a D with its belt on too tight, and a Z is an L in a tug-of-war fight! Twenty-six letters, unique from each other -- and yet, every letter looks just like one another! Kind of like...one big family.From two bestselling masters of wordplay and visual high jinks comes a mind-bending riddle of delightful doppelgängers and surprising disguises that reveal we're more alike than we may think. You'll never look at the alphabet the same way again!
The Alteration
by Kingsley Amis William GibsonIn Kingsley Amis's virtuoso foray into virtual history it is 1976 but the modern world is a medieval relic, frozen in intellectual and spiritual time ever since Martin Luther was promoted to pope back in the sixteenth century. Stephen the Third, the king of England, has just died, and Mass (Mozart's second requiem) is about to be sung to lay him to rest. In the choir is our hero, Hubert Anvil, an extremely ordinary ten-year-old boy with a faultless voice. In the audience is a select group of experts whose job is to determine whether that faultless voice should be preserved by performing a certain operation. Art, after all, is worth any sacrifice.How Hubert realizes what lies in store for him and how he deals with the whirlpool of piety, menace, terror, and passion that he soon finds himself in are the subject of a classic piece of counterfactual fiction equal to Philip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle.The Alteration won the John W. Campbell Memorial Award for best science-fiction novel in 1976.tion novel in 1976.
The Altigators: Book 6 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #6)
by Kes GrayNelly's phone is still ringing with lots more monster sitting requests - and each one is full of strange surprises! From helping Altigators face their fears, battling venomous Tooth Furries, to taking care of Pipplewak eggs - Nelly's monster-sitting adventures are as unpredictable and exciting as ever!Nelly is monster sitting for Altigators, toweringly tall reptilian monsters. Or at least she's trying to. For some reason Altigator parents Soar and Rise have trouble leaving their apartment for any longer than three minutes!
The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman: A Novel
by Mamen SánchezA fiendishly fun and charming novel echoing the quirky works of brilliant director Pedro Almodóvar, The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman follows an uptight Englishman who is sent to Madrid to close a literary magazine and the five fiery, close-knit Spanish women who must devise a plan in order to keep the jobs they love.Atticus Craftsman never travels without a supply of Earl Grey, an electric kettle, and a teacup--so he makes sure he has packed all three after his father, distinguished publisher of Craftsman & Co., sends him to Madrid to shut down a failing literary magazine, Librarte. But when nobody has heard from him in three months, his father knows something must be very wrong. Fortunately, Inspector Manchego is on the case. Manchego gets to work unraveling the mystery of the Englishman's disappearance, but there to block him at every turn are the five fiery and close-knit Spanish women who run Librarte and who will do anything to keep their jobs. From a kidnapping to the "discovery" of the long-lost poems of Federico García Lorca, Manchego and Atticus are taken on a madcap journey through the narrow streets of Madrid and down to the bohemian heart of Andalucía. A charming tale with linguistic mishaps, literary intrigue, a clash of cultures, and an unexpected romance, The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman is at once a humorous literary caper and a touching love story, making for an altogether clever and delightfully different read.
The Alvares Bride (The Barons #10)
by Sandra MartonRead this classic romance by bestselling author Sandra Marton, now available for the first time in e-book!No one knew who was the father of Carin’s baby. She’d kept her secret for the entire pregnancy. But during the birth, she called out a name—Raphael Alvares!The powerful Brazilian millionaire rushed to Carin’s bedside. But had Rafe come because pride forced him to give the baby his name? Or was it because the one passionate night they’d shared had left him longing to make Carin his bride?Book 6 in The Barons miniseriesOriginally published in 2001
The Amalgamated Brotherhood of Spooks
by John Kendrick BangsJohn Kendrick Bangs (1862-1922) has earned comparison with Mark Twain and L. Frank Baum for his humorous fantasies, including "A Houseboat on the Styx" and these wildly adventurous "Andiron Tales" -- featuring talking andirons, bellows and fire-pokers . . . and a voyage to the crescent Moon
The Amateurs: A Novel
by John NivenGary Irvine's wife refuses to sleep with him, so he pursues an even stingier mistress: golf. But despite his spending unconscionable amounts of time and money, his game is wretched. Until the day he takes a perfect swing . . . and then everything goes black.After waking up from a coma a few weeks later, with a golf-ball-sized dent in his temple, Gary discovers that his last perfect swing has been imprinted on his brain. However, his newfound prowess is accompanied by some troubling side effects, most noticeably Tourette's.As Gary miraculously advances to the final round of the British Open, his delinquent brother, Lee, stumbles from one botched drug deal to another, his orbit drawing ever nearer to the terrifying local crime lord Ranta Campbell. With their lives on the line, Gary and Lee must rediscover the ties that bind to survive a blood-soaked final round.
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (with bonus content): A Novel
by Michael ChabonWINNER OF THE PULITZER PRIZE • NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The epic, beloved novel of two boy geniuses dreaming up superheroes in New York&’s Golden Age of comics, now with special bonus material by the author &“It's absolutely gosh-wow, super-colossal—smart, funny, and a continual pleasure to read.&”—The Washington Post Book World One of The New York Times&’s 100 Best Books of the 21st Century • One of Entertainment Weekly&’s 10 Best Books of the Decade • Finalist for the PEN/Faulkner Award, National Book Critics Circle Award, and Los Angeles Times Book PrizeA &“towering, swash-buckling thrill of a book&” (Newsweek), hailed as Chabon&’s &“magnum opus&” (The New York Review of Books), The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay is a triumph of originality, imagination, and storytelling, an exuberant, irresistible novel that begins in New York City in 1939. A young escape artist and budding magician named Joe Kavalier arrives on the doorstep of his cousin, Sammy Clay. While the long shadow of Hitler falls across Europe, America is happily in thrall to the Golden Age of comic books, and in a distant corner of Brooklyn, Sammy is looking for a way to cash in on the craze. He finds the ideal partner in the aloof, artistically gifted Joe, and together they embark on an adventure that takes them deep into the heart of Manhattan, and the heart of old-fashioned American ambition. From the shared fears, dreams, and desires of two teenage boys, they spin comic book tales of the heroic, fascist-fighting Escapist and the beautiful, mysterious Luna Moth, otherworldly mistress of the night. Climbing from the streets of Brooklyn to the top of the Empire State Building, Joe and Sammy carve out lives, and careers, as vivid as cyan and magenta ink. Spanning continents and eras, this superb book by one of America&’s finest writers remains one of the defining novels of our modern American age. Winner of the Bay Area Book Reviewers Award and the New York Society Library Book Award
The Amazing Baby Name Book: A (Possibly) Helpful and Slightly Amusing Guide from A-Z
by Amy Ephron Maia Wapnick Anna Ephron Harari"A must for any new parents or name lovers."—Baker Machado, morning anchor, Wake Up with Cheddar"Reading The Amazing Baby Name Book feels like discussing name choices with your best friends. A great read when you’re looking for a name for a baby (or a pet or a movie character), from the traditional to the unique and unexpected. But also great to read when you have nothing to name at all and are just looking for a smile "—Jill Santopolo, bestselling author of The Light We LostFrom A to Z and Everything in BetweenWhat's in a name? Everything!In this fun, charming, and wonderfully curated collection of baby names, authors Amy Ephron and her daughters, Anna and Maia, share inspired and witty ideas that will spark your imagination, providing parents-to-be with moments of humor, historical context, factual tidbits, and highly opinionated takes on the most creative names from Abacus and Abbie to Zoe and Zuzu!Celebrating inspiration, inclusion, hope, and love—with a little bit of lighthearted attitude thrown in for good measure—this bundle of joy is the perfect gift for you or someone you love.
The Amazing Book Is Not on Fire: The World of Dan and Phil
by Dan Howell Phil LesterTHE INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERFrom YouTube sensations Dan Howell (danisnotonfire) and Phil Lester (AmazingPhil) comes a laugh-out-loud look into the world created by two awkward guys who share their lives on the Internet. More than 11 million YouTube subscribers can't wait for this book! Since uploading their first ever videos as teenagers, Dan and Phil have become two of the world's biggest YouTube stars. Now they invite you on a behind-the-scenes journey, filled with absolutely essential advice, tons of humor, lots of awkwardness, and TMI honesty that they will probably regret. Here's just a small sample of the fun surprises readers can look forward to: • The inside story of that time they met One Direction.• Excerpts from Phil's teenage diary.• Reasons why Dan's a fail (so far).• How to draw the perfect cat whiskers.• Reasons why Phil was such a weird kid (back then).• Quizzes! Which of their dining room chairs represents you emotionally?• What really happened in Vegas. . . . In The Amazing Book Is Not on Fire, Dan and Phil are candid, heartfelt, and hilarious. Their struggles and success haven't changed their strong friendship or their core belief that it's okay to be weird. The cat whiskers come from within! This full-color book is bursting with unseen photographs and drawings, making it an ideal gift for that hard-to-shop-for teen.
The Amazing Book of Useless Information
by Noel BothamFrom the creators of the #1 New York Times,/I> bestseller The Book of Useless Information comes another fun, foolhardy and completely frivolous, fact-filled book. The Useless Information Society?s latest collection, The Amazing Book of Useless Information, will answer questions readers never even knew they had. From space travel to the history of jelly beans, this wideranging, brain-teasing, and altogether useless book will give readers information to out-trivialize even their cleverest of companions. Features such fascinating facts as:? There is a town in West Virginia called Looneyville? Women can talk with less effort than men? Lemons have more sugar than oranges And answers to these life-changing questions:? What was the Ancient Roman cure for a stomachache?? What is a ?buckle bunny??? Where is the coldest place in the universe? .
The Amazing Book of Useless Information
by Noel BothamFrom the creators of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Book of Useless Information comes another fun, foolhardy and completely frivolous, fact-filled book.The Useless Information Society's latest collection, The Amazing Book of Useless Information, will answer questions readers never even knew they had. From space travel to the history of jelly beans, this wideranging, brain-teasing, and altogether useless book will give readers information to out-trivialize even their cleverest of companions. Features such fascinating facts as:- There is a town in West Virginia called Looneyville- Women can talk with less effort than men- Lemons have more sugar than oranges And answers to these life-changing questions:- What was the Ancient Roman cure for a stomachache"- What is a "buckle bunny??- Where is the coldest place in the universe?From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Amazing Edie Eckhart: Book 1 (The Amazing Edie Eckhart)
by Rosie JonesA sparky middle-grade series from TV comedian Rosie Jones. Perfect for fans of Jacqueline Wilson and DORK DIARIES.'Fresh, funny and ultra cool' - Jacqueline Wilson Hello! My name is Edie Eckhart and I'm eleven years old. I'm a little bit different. I have a disability called cerebral palsy, so I talk slowly and fall over a lot. It's never really bothered me because I've never known anything else.Edie Eckhart is Excited with a capital E to start secondary school with her best friend Oscar - the fish to her chips, the bananas to her custard. But when she and Oscar are put into different tutor groups on their first day, Edie is devastated. Who will play secret hangman with her in class? Who will she eat sausage rolls with?But while she's plotting her reunion with Oscar, she accidentally gets cast as the lead in the school play. As Edie discovers a passion for performance, she also finds new friendships, talents, and dreams. After all, it's easy to shine on and off the stage when you're Amazing with a capital A.'This book is as funny and warm as a sausage roll. I loved it!' Jenny McLachlan, author of Land of Roar'Enjoyable and uplifting. Everyone needs an Edie Eckhart in their lives.' Jen Carney, author of The Accidental Diary of B.U.G
The Amazing Edie Eckhart: Book 1 (The Amazing Edie Eckhart)
by Rosie JonesA sparky middle-grade series from TV comedian Rosie Jones. Perfect for fans of Jacqueline Wilson and DORK DIARIES.'Fresh, funny and ultra cool' - Jacqueline Wilson Hello! My name is Edie Eckhart and I'm eleven years old. I'm a little bit different. I have a disability called cerebral palsy, so I talk slowly and fall over a lot. It's never really bothered me because I've never known anything else.Edie Eckhart is Excited with a capital E to start secondary school with her best friend Oscar - the fish to her chips, the bananas to her custard. But when she and Oscar are put into different tutor groups on their first day, Edie is devastated. Who will play secret hangman with her in class? Who will she eat sausage rolls with?But while she's plotting her reunion with Oscar, she accidentally gets cast as the lead in the school play. As Edie discovers a passion for performance, she also finds new friendships, talents, and dreams. After all, it's easy to shine on and off the stage when you're Amazing with a capital A.