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The Artsy Smartsy Club
by Daniel PinkwaterAfter three Hoboken children and their giant chicken Henrietta begin to appreciate beautiful sidewalk art, they venture into art class and visit Manhattan.
The Ask: A Novel
by Sam LipsyteIn this dark comic novel by the author of Home Land, a college development officer’s last chance to keep his job comes at a high cost.A New York Times Book Review Editors’ ChoiceMilo Burke—husband, father, development officer at a third-tier university—has just joined the burgeoning class of the newly unemployed. Grasping after off jobs to support his wife and child, Milo is relieved to get another chance from his former boss. All he has to do is reel in a potential donor who, mysteriously, has requested Milo’s involvement. But it turns out that the ask is Milo’s sinister college classmate Purdy Stuart. And the “give” won’t come cheap.Exploring such themes as work, war, sex, class, child rearing, romantic comedies, Benjamin Franklin, cooking shows on death row, and the eroticization of chicken wire, The Ask is a hilarious tour de force from a writer who has already shown that the deepest fictions are often the funniest.
The Astonishing Life of August March: A Novel
by Aaron JacksonAn irrepressibly optimistic oddball, abandoned in a theater as a baby, is thrust into the wilds of postwar New York City in this “delightful romp of a book” (Historical Novels Review). Abandoned as an infant by his actress mother, August March was raised by an ancient laundress. Highly intelligent, a tad feral, August is a true child of the theater—able to recite Shakespeare before he knew the alphabet.But like all productions, August’s wondrous time inside the theater comes to a close, and he finds himself in the wilds of postwar New York City, where he quickly rises from pickpocket street urchin to star student at the stuffiest boarding school in the nation.To survive, August must rely upon the kindness of strangers, only some of whom have his best interests at heart. As he grows up, his heart begins to yearn for love—which he may or may not finally find in Penny, a clever and gifted con artist.Aaron Jackson has crafted a brilliant, enchanting story at once profound and delightfully entertaining—a classic tale of a young innocent who finally finds his way, reminding us that everyone can find love. Even August March.“A delirious, fantastical romp behind the curtain of New York’s theater society.” —Abbi Jacobson, New York Times–bestselling author of I Might Regret This“The phrase ‘child of the theater’ has never been more literally or comically depicted. . . . [a] quirky coming-of-age story with a protagonist who is equal parts Benjamin Button, David Copperfield, and Don Quixote.” —Historical Novels Review
The Astounding Broccoli Boy
by Frank Cottrell BoyceFrom Frank Cottrell Boyce--the beloved, award-winning, New York Times-bestselling author of Millions and Cosmic--comes another hilarious, heartbreaking, and completely original middle grade novel.Rory Rooney likes to be prepared for anything. That sort of planning pays off when you're the smallest kid in your class. Rory is even prepared (mostly) for Tommy-Lee, his nemesis, who starts most days by throwing Rory out of the back of the school bus. Don't be scared, his favorite book says, be prepared. And Rory aims to be. What's more heroic than that?But Rory isn't prepared when he suddenly and inexplicably turns green and finds himself stuck in an experimental hospital ward. The doctors are just as baffled as Rory is, and that's when he begins to wonder: What if this isn't caused by his genes, or a virus, or something he ate? What if it's something even more extraordinary? After all, more than a few superheroes' careers began when they turned green. Could this be a sign that he's meant for something greater? Rory is going to find out--and that's going to start with escaping from the hospital.
The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
by Brian Kiley"For more than twenty years, Brian Kiley has delighted me with his inventive and prolific wit, so it is no surprise that he has written such a terrific novel. "The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins" is boldly comedic, poignant, dark, unpredictable, and just plain fun. Congratulations, Brian, I am bitterly jealous." -Conan O'Brien "Brian Kiley's unique genius as a standup comedian rests on his ability to project innocence and sweet-natured guilelessness even as his imagination leads you to some dark and strange places. The same and then some can be said for the title character of Kiley's terrific first novel, The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins. Haunted by the specter of the world's worst mom, Rory enters manhood as the sort of timid, passive shlump whom predators can spot a mile off. Yet as you follow him from one picaresque episode to another--ill-advised sex, barroom brawls, and abusive bosses--you can't help but pull for the guy. At heart he's just a kind, decent person trying to make sense of a bizarro world. Not surprisingly, the book has its share of great lines and laugh-out-loud moments. But there's more going on. From the deceptively powerful opening scene to the devastating final line, Astounding Misadventures marks the emergence of a new literary voice. The gentle intelligence of Kiley's prose reminds me of the great comedian-turned-author, Steve Martin, with the possible difference that while Martin's characters seek peace and quiet above the fray, Kiley's plunge headfirst into the tragicomic messiness of life." -Charles Slack, author of "Hetty", "The Noble Obsession" and "Blue Fairways" "If you like dark, dry humor--and I do--you will love this story of a young man from such a dysfunctional family that his only dream is to be normal. Instead, what he learns is that no one is really "normal," and that the most important goal is to love and be loved. Raised by a psychotic mother and a passive father, Rory is also painfully passive, until a moment of rebellion in a supermarket changes the course of his life and sets him on the path to fulfillment and happiness. Laughs abound, and the ending is surprisingly touching." -Judith Arnold "Read this. I loved it. The author's writing is so precise. I fell in love with Rory from the beginning and my heart broke a little in each of his misadventures. But don't worry, the book is hilarious. Each chapter is like a little joke -- and it all leads to a satisfying and heartwarming conclusion." -Karen Bergreen, author of "Pretty Polly"
The Asylum
by Simon DoonanAfter nearly a lifetime spent in the Industry, author and fashion insider Simon Doonan is ready to let you in on a little secret: his peers in this multibillion-dollar industry are just as nutty as the denizens of your local loony bin. In The Asylum, an unabashedly hilarious collection of autobiographical essays, Doonan, the creative ambassador for Barneys New York, tells the real-life stories of glamorous madness and stylish insanity. Doonan has witnessed models unable to work for fear of ghosts, gone deep-sea fishing with a couturier pal and his jailbird companion, and watched Anna Wintour remain perfectly calm while the ceiling fell-literally-in the middle of Fashion Week. Once you start looking, he says, you’ll notice telltale signs of lunacy everywhere. Style insiders see patterns and trends in everything; they suffer from outsize personality disorders and delusions of grandeur; and of course, they have a predilection for theatrical makeup and artfully destroyed clothing. No one is more suited to the asylum than the truly die-hard fashionista-after all, eccentricity and extremism are the foundations of great style. With his gimlet eye for the absurd and a love for eccentricity, Doonan’s personal and professional stories never fail to entertain. "The David Sedaris of the style universe” (The Boston Globe) gives us the scoop on the kooky, cutthroat-but always fabulous-fashion world, and proves himself one of the sharpest humorists writing today. .
The Atheist's Bible: An Illustrious Collection of Irreverent Thoughts
by Joan KonnerA wise and witty collection of quips, quotes, and musings from the world’s greatest geniuses and jokers, proving that “all thinking men are atheists” (Ernest Hemingway)From Sophocles to Homer Simpson, The Atheist’s Bible celebrates the long and rich tradition of rejecting organized religion. Included here are insights and observations from scientists, writers, philosophers, and comedians throughout history who have questioned the wisdom (and sanity) of pious believers. Far from a cynical polemic, this “bible” shares the same joy, love of beauty, and human wonder that religious books of quotations provide, but with a healthy dose of independent thought and without dogma.
The Atheist's Guide to Christmas
by Robin Harvie and Stephanie MeyersThis funny, festive, and thoughtful collection delves into age-old holiday questions for the non-believer—like what do you get an atheist for Christmas?If you’re an atheist, you don’t believe in the three wise men, so this Christmas, we bring you not three, but forty-two wise men and women, bearing gifts of comedy, science, philosophy, the arts, and knowledge. What does it feel like to be born on Christmas day? How can you most effectively use lights to make your house visible from space? And where can you listen to the echoes of the Big Bang on December 25? The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas answers all these questions and more:Richard Dawkins tells an original Christmas story.Phil Plait fact-checks the Star of Bethlehem.Neal Pollack teaches his family a lesson on holiday spirit.Simon Singh offers a very special scientific experiment.Simon le Bon loses his faith (but keeps church music).AC Grayling explains how to have a truly happy Christmas.Plus thirty-six other brilliant, funny, free-thinking pieces perfect for anyone who doesn’t think of holidays as holy days.
The Atlas of Christmas: The Merriest, Tastiest, Quirkiest Holiday Traditions from Around the World
by Alex PalmerDiscover the fascinating (and sometimes downright odd!) ways that people and nations celebrate the holiday season and share this festive compendium's unique traditions together with family and friends.Do you know that in Guatemala there's a "Burn the Devil" tradition to kick off the Christmas season, where revelers gather to set fire to devil-piñatas? In Sweden, a popular figure in Christmas traditions is the Yule Goat, a rowdy, menacing character who demands gifts. And in Japan, a big bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken has become the classic Christmas Day feast. These and many other global Christmas traditions are featured here in this delightful book. From decorations and activities to feasts and special treats, there's a wide range of both lovely and unusual traditions from around the globe.
The Attack of the Frozen Woodchucks
by Dan Elish Greg CallFrozen woodchucks are attacking the galaxy! But they're no match for Jimmy and his crew of space travelers . . . or are they? Meet our heroes: Jimmy Weathers An average fifth grader living in New York City who never suspected that the fate of the world would be resting squarely on his ten-year-old shoulders. William H. Taft V Jimmy's best friend-the great-great-great-great-nephew of the fattest man who was ever president. Janice Claytooth A ten-year-old rocket scientist whose bestselling book Light Speed and You has sold only one copy on earth but millions throughout the galaxy. Imogene Weathers A feisty two-year-old inventor with a penchant for turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Will this unlikely quartet discover the mastermind behind the frozen woodchuck attacks before it's too late?
The Attack of the Robot Librarians (Tuchus & Topps Investigate #2)
by Jenny Pearson Sam Copeland'Will have youngsters giggling and guffawing from first page to last!' Lancashire Evening PostIt's a new year at Little Strangehaven Primary but things are just as weird as last term . . .Who put laser-eyed robot librarians in charge of class discipline? What's with the new pedal-powered desks? And what does it all have to do with the mysterious goings-on in the cellar?Spy-detectives Tuchus and Topps reckon it's got to be something to do with Pamela Stranglebum and her sinister company, Minerva Industries. With the help of their Scottish gargoyle chum Gregor, can Lenny and Agatha uncover the truth before it's too late . . .?
The Attack of the Two-Inch Teacher
by Bruce CovilleWhen Pleskit, the world's first alien third-grader, and his friend Tim get fed up with bully Jordan Lynch, they decide to use a molecule depressor to teach him a lesson. The plan backfires when their teacher gets accidentally shrunk.
The Au Pair Affair (Big Shots #2)
by Tessa BaileyAuthor Tessa Bailey returns with an all-new sports rom-com about a burly, surly, single dad who falls head-over-hockey-stick for his quirky live-in nanny... <P><P> Tallulah is smart, vivacious, and studying to be a marine biologist. She's also twenty-six and broke. So when Burgess, a battle-scarred hockey veteran and newly single dad, offers her a job as his live-in nanny, she jumps at the opportunity to get paid while living in a super fancy neighborhood and being around Lissa, his cool but introverted tween. <P><P> Her tween charge isn't the only one who could use some help fitting in, though. According to...well, everyone except Burgess, he needs to get back on the dating scene, and adventurous Tallulah is just the girl to show him how. But as boundaries are slowly crossed and Burgess finds himself pulled between his daughter, who wants her parents back together, and his insane chemistry with Tallulah, a huge rift is formed, and Tallulah does the "right" thing—breaks her own heart and walks away. <P><P> Though Burgess knows it's for the best—he's too jaded, with too much baggage—a chance meeting, and a new push from his daughter, forces him to put everything on the line and fight to prove he learned his lessons well and is worthy of a happily ever after with Tallulah. <p> <b>New York Times Bestseller</b>
The Audacity
by Katherine RyanFrom the star of the hit Netflix series The Duchess comes a brilliantly funny, fiercely honest, and dangerously astute handbook of life instruction."I&’ve come to accept that being audacious is a gift I can&’t escape."People "know" my on-stage comedy persona or my scripted ballsy characters and wrongly assume that I must stomp around all day in designer dresses eviscerating those who dare to cross my path. But mostly, I&’m just sat eating pickles and being nice to some dogs. Whatever strangers think of me is fine with me. How audacious is that? I can always take a joke, I don&’t waste time worrying about things I can&’t control. I embrace the reality that you just can&’t please everyone, so you might as well put yourself out there and have a laugh. As my mother always said, "Katherine, if we all liked the same thing, we&’d all be married to your father." I&’m often asked how I developed my lurid level of courage and assurance and for tips on how others can match. The Audacity is my chance to share my blueprint for just that. You will learn:• How To Be the Most Popular Girl in School• How to Waste All Your Money on Designer Dogs• How To Attract Toxic Men… AND Keep Them Interested!And so much more… Secrets are my favourite things to be told and I figured I&’d better tell a few juicy ones myself, too. Why not? No matter what I do, there will always be something about me that reads as simply, outrageously audacious.
The Audacity Of Hype: Bewilderment, sleaze and other tales of the 21st century
by Armando IannucciIn THE AUDACITY OF HYPE, Armando Iannucci cuts straight to the heart of the insanity and sherbet-headed nonsense of modern life. THE AUDACITY OF HYPE brings together his views on diverse subjects, ranging from wickedly funny pen portraits of the sometimes loveable, usually despicable chumps who like to think of themselves as our political elite, and their bonkers schemes to save the world that are in fact likely to do us more harm than a pile of witches, to WMD, disaster movies, the pitfalls of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' and the high and mighty rhetoric of Obama, this is an absurdly entertaining and utterly indispensable collection from one of Britain's most brilliant satirists.
The Audacity Of Hype: Bewilderment, sleaze and other tales of the 21st century
by Armando IannucciIn THE AUDACITY OF HYPE, Armando Iannucci cuts straight to the heart of the insanity and sherbet-headed nonsense of modern life. THE AUDACITY OF HYPE brings together his views on diverse subjects, ranging from wickedly funny pen portraits of the sometimes loveable, usually despicable chumps who like to think of themselves as our political elite, and their bonkers schemes to save the world that are in fact likely to do us more harm than a pile of witches, to WMD, disaster movies, the pitfalls of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' and the high and mighty rhetoric of Obama, this is an absurdly entertaining and utterly indispensable collection from one of Britain's most brilliant satirists.
The Austen Playbook: An Opposites Attract Romance (London Celebrities #4)
by Lucy Parker“The London Celebrities series—some of the wittiest, smartest dialogue to come down the romance pike in years.”—Kirkus ReviewsIn which experienced West End actress Freddy Carlton takes on an Austen-inspired play, a scandal at a country estate, an enthusiastic search for a passion outside of acting…and the (some people might say icy*) heart of London’s most feared theater critic.*if those people were being niceFreddy Carlton knows she should be focusing on her lines for The Austen Playbook, a live-action TV event where viewers choose the outcome of each scene, but her concentration’s been blown. The palatial estate housing the endeavor is now run by the rude (brilliant) critic who’s consistently slammed her performances of late. James “Griff” Ford-Griffin has a penchant for sarcasm, a majestic nose and all the sensitivity of a sledgehammer.She can’t take her eyes off him.Griff can hardly focus with a contagious joy fairy flitting about near him, especially when Freddy looks at him like that. His only concern right now should be on shutting down his younger brother’s well-intentioned (disastrous) schemes—or at the very least on the production (not this one) that might save his family home from the banks.Instead all he can think of is soft skin and vibrant curls.As he’s reluctantly dragged into her quest to rediscover her passion for the stage and Freddy is drawn into his research on a legendary theater star, the adage about appearances being deceiving proves abundantly true. It’s the unlikely start of something enormous…but a single revelation about the past could derail it all.Don’t miss the London Celebrities series by Lucy Parker! Order your copy of Act Like It, Pretty Face & Making Up today! This book is approximately 99,000 wordsOne-click with confidence. This title is part of the Carina Press Romance Promise: all the romance you’re looking for with an HEA/HFN. It’s a promise!
The Austere Academy: The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events #5)
by Lemony Snicket Brett Helquist Michael Kupperman<P>As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School : they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori or "Remember you will die." <P>This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.
The Australian's Convenient Bride (The Australians #17)
by Lindsay ArmstrongRough, handsome cattle-station owner Steve Kinaneneeds a temporary housekeeper—and Chattie Winslowis perfect for the job.Chattie and Steve try hard to resist the intense sexualchemistry between them. Then Steve discovers thereason for Chattie's presence in the Outback, and he hasa proposal to make: a marriage of convenience. Now thatSteve knows the secrets Chattie's been keeping, she'sforced to become his bride….
The Australian's Housekeeper Bride (Wedlocked! #81)
by Lindsay ArmstrongRhiannon Fairfax believes everything shouldbe calm and orderly. And she's made a careerout of ensuring that other people's livesare perfect.Then billionaire Lee Richardson hires her.Stormy, complex and autocratic, he needs awife-and he wants Rhiannon! Swept out ofher sensible shoes, Rhiannon agrees. But assecrets begin to emerge, she wonders if shecan trust her new husband....
The Author Visit from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures #18)
by Mike ThalerThese fun-filled chapter books mix school, monsters, and common kid problems with hilarious results. You'll scream with laughter!A real author is coming to visit Mrs. Green's class. That means Hubie needs to read her books. But how can he pick one when there are so many to choose from? And what will happen on the day of the visit? Will she bore the class to sleep with a long story? Hubie just doesn't know what to expect.
The Author's Guide to Murder: A Novel
by Karen White Lauren Willig Beatriz Williams"A pure delight from start to finish! Williams, White and Willig are in top form in this clever, engrossing whodunnit with a heart.” --Lisa Unger, New York Times bestselling author of The New Couple in 5BAgatha Christie meets Murder, She Wrote in this witty locked room mystery and literary satire by New York Times bestselling team of novelists: Beatriz Williams, Lauren Willig, and Karen White.There’s been a sensational murder at historic Castle Kinloch, a gothic fantasy of grey granite on a remote island in the Highlands of Scotland. Literary superstar Brett Saffron Presley has been found dead—under bizarre circumstances—in the castle tower’s book-lined study. Years ago, Presley purchased the castle as a showpiece for his brand and to lure paying guests with a taste for writerly glamour. Now it seems, the castle has done him in…or, possibly, one of the castle’s guests has. Detective Chief Inspector Euan McIntosh, a local with no love for literary Americans, finds himself with the unenviable task of extracting statements from three American lady novelists. The prime suspects are Kat de Noir, a slinky erotica writer; Cassie Pringle, a Southern mom of six juggling multiple cozy mystery series; and Emma Endicott, a New England blue blood and author of critically acclaimed historical fiction. The women claim to be best friends writing a book together, but the authors’ stories about how they know Brett Saffron Presley don’t quite line up, and the detective is getting increasingly suspicious. Why did the authors really come to Castle Kinloch? And what really happened the night of the great Kinloch ceilidh, when Brett Saffron Presley skipped the folk dancing for a rendezvous with death? A crafty locked-room mystery, a pointed satire about the literary world, and a tale of unexpected friendship and romance—this novel has it all, as only three bestselling authors can tell it!
The Autobiography of Methuselah
by John Kendrick BangsHaving recently passed into what my great-grandson Shem calls my Anecdotage, it has occurred to me that perhaps some of the recollections of a more or less extended existence upon this globular[1] mass of dust and water that we are pleased to call the earth, may prove of interest to posterity, and I have accordingly, at [2]the earnest solicitation of my grandson, Noah, and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japhet, consented to put them into permanent literary form.
The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table: Or Every Man His Own Boswell (Dover Thrift Editions: Literary Collections Series)
by Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.Essays inspired by the renowned nineteenth-century writer&’s time at a Boston boardinghouse. These philosophical essays, enlivened by a number of poems, draw upon Oliver Wendell Holmes&’s time spent as a young man at the table with his fellow boarders—the professor, the divinity student, and the schoolmistress, as well as the landlady—in the thriving cultural hub of Boston. First published in the Atlantic Monthly in the 1850s, they reflect on topics ranging from the nature of conversation to the surprising benefits of old age—filled with the flavor of historical New England, and often sharpened with wonderful comic flair. Featured poems include &“The Deacon&’s Masterpiece,&” &“The Chambered Nautilus,&” &“Contentment,&” and &“The Living Temple.&”
The Autograph Hound: A Novel
by John LahrHailed as a &“tour de force&” by the New York Times, this irresistible novel captures John Lahr&’s madcap genius Meet Benny Walsh: busboy at the Homestead restaurant in New York City by day, compulsive autograph hunter by night. Known for going to extraordinary lengths for a much-coveted signature, Benny is also tangled up with an actress and fellow autograph hound named Gloria, and drawn into an embittered battle with his archenemy, a headwaiter with a grudge. Lahr&’s acclaimed debut novel captures one wild week in Benny&’s life. It is an introduction to a brilliantly drawn and determined character who will stay with you long after the final page.