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The Book With No Pictures
by B. J. NovakA book with no pictures, where the person reading has to read out loud has to say all the silly things written in the book. That includes using silly words and singing silly songs.
The Book and the Blade (Arthur Crazy #1)
by A. B. FinlaysonA perfect story for fans of Gaiman and Pratchett’s GOOD OMENS, SHAUN OF THE DEAD and THE WORLD’S END. Arthur Crazy is drunk and seeing ghosts. This is not a metaphor. The dead are walking and talking, and it doesn't matter that Arthur doesn't believe in them. They believe in him. Too drunk to recall how he stumbled upon his nascent power, Arthur is burdened with newfound responsibility: he’s the only one who can hear the unfinished business of every dead guy in York, and he’s the only one who can help. As forgotten legends and lost demons stir all over the cobbled streets and snickelways, Arthur finds himself at the centre of an unfolding mystery—a light in the desert, a fart at a funeral—and he is about to discover that an unfortunate surname isn't the only thing that makes him stand out. Arthur just wants to sober up, have a kebab, and go home, but his conscience is knocking loud and clear, demanding he open the damn door. He may not be the hero the dead need, but he’s the one they’re stuck with. Besides, one of those ghosts seems kind of cute.
The Book for Dangerous Women: A Guide to Modern Life
by Clare Conville Liz Hoggard Sarah-Jane LovettEver wonder how to best dress your apple-shaped figure? Do you know the top twelve rules on how to properly (and discreetly) conduct an affair? The Book for Dangerous Women is a sly, elegant encyclopedia of practicalwisdom by three women who know a bit about life and bring their myriad of experiences of bear on topics such as marriage, infidelity, motherhood, sex, fashion, friendship, work, and self-discovery. More than five hundred entries of safe advice show us how to get through life with a little grace and a lot of fun — from how to accept compliments to when to wear "cami-knickers," to how to deal with ambivalence (toward lovers, friends, or foes), and why owning a cat and a fancy dress may be more fulfilling than sex. Many entries include insights from the famed and infamous, such as Oscar Wilde, Coco Chanel, Mae West, Eve Ensler, Albert Camus, Anaïs Nin, and William Shakespeare. Written and compiled by three dangerously knowledgeable, absolutely fabulous, and mordantly witty women, The Book for Dangerous Women is a must-have guide for moments of crisis and a delectable compendium of humour and advice.
The Book of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks: A Celebration of Creative Punctuation
by Bethany KeeleyFrom the popular blog, a hilarious and horrifying survey of quotation mark abuse in all its forms.From the sarcastic to the suggestive, here are quotation marks as we love them best, doing horrible damage to the English language. Who wouldn’t have second thoughts about ordering the “hamburger” on the diner’s menu? Would it be best to skip the “blowout” sale at the department store? What hidden price must be paid for something marked “free”? Assembled by the creator of the wildly popular “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks, this book surveys the havoc wreaked by quotation marks on signs, menus, placards, and posters that leave reality upended by supposed “facts.” This smarty-pants guide is “perfect” for desperate grammarians, habitual air quoters, and anyone who appreciates a good laugh.
The Book of (Holiday) Awesome
by Neil PasrichaThere's nothing like the holidays. They bring out the best, and sometimes the worst, in everyone. Luckily, Neil Pasricha is here to remind us that not only are the holidays great, but there's actually even more to celebrate than we realize. From Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, to other holidays throughout the year, such as Mother's Day and Thanksgiving, The Book of (Holiday) Awesome will show you why holidays are...AWESOME. Making the first footprint in fresh snow When the in-laws leave Waking up and realizing it's Christmas Just barely wrapping a gift with that tiny scrap of leftover wrapping paper When they finally stop playing Christmas songs on the radio Knowing "Kwanzaa" is worth more Scrabble points than "Hanukkah" or "Christmas"
The Book of (Holiday) Awesome
by Neil PasrichaThere’s nothing like the holidays. They bring out the best, and sometimes the worst, in everyone. Luckily, Neil Pasricha is here to remind us that not only are the holidays great, but there’s actually even more to celebrate than we realize. From Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, to other holidays throughout the year, such as Mother’s Day and Thanksgiving, The Book of (Holiday) Awesome will show you why holidays are…AWESOME. <P><P> * Making the first footprint in fresh snow<P> * When the in-laws leave<P> * Waking up and realizing it’s Christmas<P> * Just barely wrapping a gift with that tiny scrap of leftover wrapping paper<P> * When they finally stop playing Christmas songs on the radio<P> * Knowing “Kwanzaa” is worth more Scrabble points than “Hanukkah” or “Christmas”
The Book of Animal Ignorance
by John Lloyd John MitchinsonMeet the water bears that can live in suspension for hundreds of years, the parasite carried by your cat that makes men grumpy and women promiscuous, and the woodlouse that drinks through its bottom. Marvel at elephants that walk on tiptoe, the pigs that shine in the dark, and the woodpeckers that have ears on the end of their tongues. Here is the eagerly anticipated follow up to the 2006 Christmas bestseller: The Book of General Ignorance. Join the QI team for an off-road safari through 120 of the most interesting members of the animal kingdom, armed with illuminating illustrations, maps and diagrams by award-winning artist Ted Dewan.
The Book of Answers: 6copy Counter Display
by Carol BoltAn updated, repackaged edition of the bestselling divination tool and party favorite - ask a yes or no question, open the book, find your answer - with more than a million copies in print.Should you ask your boss for a raise? Call that cutie you met at a party? Sell your Google stock? Tell your best friend her boyfriend's cheating?The answer to these questions (and hundreds of others) is in this fun and weirdly wise little book that's impossible to put down. It's simple to use: just hold it closed in your hands and concentrate on your question for a few seconds. While visualizing or speaking your question, place one palm down on the book's front and stroke the edge of the pages back to front. When you sense the time is right, open to the page your fingers landed on and there is your answer!Fun, satisfying, and a lot less time-consuming than asking everyone you know for advice.Over 1 million copies in print!
The Book of Ayn: A Novel
by Lexi FreimanAn original and hilarious satire of both our political culture and those who rage against it, The Book of Ayn follows a writer from New York to Los Angeles to Lesbos as she searches for artistic and spiritual fulfillment in radical selfishness, altruism, and ego-deathAfter writing a satirical novel that The New York Times calls classist, Anna is shunned by the literary establishment and, in her hurt, radicalized by the philosophy of Ayn Rand. Determined to follow Rand&’s theory of rational selfishness, Anna alienates herself from the scene and eventually her friends and family. Finally, in true Randian style, she abandons everyone for the boundless horizons of Los Angeles, hoping to make a TV show about her beloved muse. Things look better in Hollywood—until the money starts running out, and with it Anna&’s faith in the virtue of selfishness. When a death in the family sends her running back to New York and then spiraling at her mother&’s house, Anna is offered a different kind of opportunity. A chance to kill the ego causing her pain at a mysterious commune on the island of Lesbos. The second half of Anna&’s odyssey finds her exploring a very different kind of freedom – communal love, communal toilets – and a new perspective on Ayn Rand that could bring Anna back home to herself. "A gimlet-eyed satirist of the cultural morasses and political impasses of our times" (Alexandra Kleeman), Lexi Freiman speaks in The Book of Ayn not only to a particular millennial loneliness, but also to a timeless existential predicament: the strangeness, absurdity, and hilarity of seeking meaning in the modern world.
The Book of Bad: Stuff You Should Know Unless You’re a Pussy
by Christopher BarishUnleash Your Dark SideLet your ass-kicking side kill your ass-kissing side. Now is the time to be bad. Being good is for the afterlife. Learn the secrets that felons, cops and epic badasses have known for years. * Rob a Bank * Produce Porn * Fake Your Death * Pick a Lock * Rob a Vending Machine * Beat the Dice * Acquire a Harem * And much, much worseEmbrace your Bad. Don't get caught.Christopher Lee Barish has experienced all degrees of being bad firsthand. During his mobile youth, he was indoctrinated in the art of career gambling and illegal crop growing, and he began to research other criminal activities out of personal and creative interest. The Book of Bad is the result of that research. Today he is a copy and concept director at an advertising agency in New York where he has won Webby awards for his copywriting and concepts. He lives in Nyack, New York.
The Book of Bastards
by Brian ThorntonMove over, Benedict Arnold . . .Oh to be sure, America's first traitor is one of the 101 bastards you will find in this one-of-a-kind account of bad guys in Washington. But compared to some of the gross misconduct in this frighteningly funny history book, well, let's just say he's in good company. This page-turner of a potboiler reveals all the dirtiest little secrets readers never learned in history class. From illegitimate children (we thought Grover Cleveland was too boring to have sex) and illicit trysts (Warren G. Harding in the White House phone booth with his secretary) to turncoats (make up your own mind about Daniel Ellsberg) and traitors (General Wilkinson, aka a Spanish secret agent), you will discover all the dirt worth dishing since the founding of Jamestown.The Book of Bastards - because what you don't know about the history of our great nation can make you laugh and cry!
The Book of Bastards: 101 Worst Scoundrels and Scandals from the World of Politics and Power
by Brian ThorntonMove over, Benedict Arnold . . .Oh to be sure, America's first traitor is one of the 101 bastards you will find in this one-of-a-kind account of bad guys in Washington. But compared to some of the gross misconduct in this frighteningly funny history book, well, let's just say he's in good company. This page-turner of a potboiler reveals all the dirtiest little secrets readers never learned in history class. From illegitimate children (we thought Grover Cleveland was too boring to have sex) and illicit trysts (Warren G. Harding in the White House phone booth with his secretary) to turncoats (make up your own mind about Daniel Ellsberg) and traitors (General Wilkinson, aka a Spanish secret agent), you will discover all the dirt worth dishing since the founding of Jamestown.The Book of Bastards - because what you don't know about the history of our great nation can make you laugh and cry!
The Book of Bebb
by Frederick BuechnerIncludes: Open Heart, Love Feast, Treasure Hunt, Book of Bebb.
The Book of Bieb
by David Javerbaum GodA new book of the Bible devoted to the unholy life and times of Justin Bieber, penned by the Bieb's #1 fan and popular Twitter personality, @TheTweetOfGod.It has been nearly 2,000 years since anyone has written a new book of the Bible. Now @TheTweetOfGod, the Twitter account belong to the Lord thy God King of the Universe, ends that literary dry spell with The Book of Bieb, which tells in chapter-and-verse format the story of the rise and fall of Justin Bieber, the only begotten Son of God. This eGoodBook original also includes an excerpt from God's memoir, The Last Testament.
The Book of Booty: From WWE's The New Day
by Ryan Murphy Ettore Ewen Austin Watson Kofi Nahaje Sarkodie-Mensah Greg AdkinsThe Book of Booty presents a fun, full color book for fans of WWE's The New Day tag team with all the silliness, positivity, unicorns, trombones, and twerking fans can get.Multi-time W . . . W . . . E! (WWE) TAG! TEAM! CHAMPIONS! The New Day want you to feel the power!! And now you can with The Book of Booty: Shake It. Love It. Never Be It. From the purveyors of positivity themselves, each chapter of this handy guide will help you embrace the New Day way of life. Even if you’re feeling booty—and who (who?! who?! who?! who?! who?!) has never felt booty? —you’ll be clapping, gyrating, and radiating positivity like the New Day themselves. Fans will learn:* The New Day’s official definition of “booty,” and the telltale signs that you or a loved one might be booty * The proper attire and headwear for the new you * How to twerk like a man * What your spirit animal says about you * How to project positivity By the time you finish this book, you'll be a rainbow-gazing, trombone-playing, unicorn-loving soldier of positivity, ready to take on nefarious WWE tag teams with a smile on your face. Pro tip: Eat your Booty O’s every morning for added strength!
The Book of Bunny Suicides: Little Fluffy Rabbits Who Just Don't Want To Live Anymore (Books Of The Bunny Suicides Ser.)
by Andy RileyWickedly ingenious and surreal ideas for all the little fluffy rabbits in this world who just don't want to live anymore, with bonus material from Andy Riley's sketchbook.
The Book of Darryl
by The GogglesDarryl’s friendless. Bored out of his skull. It’s the middle of summer, in the middle of the desert, in the middle of a fly-blown suburb of Roman-occupied Nazareth. Tough times for a sixteen-year-old boy in any era, never mind two millennia ago, when the only thing to look forward to is the next sandstorm, and you’re spending every waking moment worrying that the spots on your forehead are for sure signs of leprosy. But everything changes when Darryl meets his new refugee neighbor, Jay, who just so happens to be the messiah before he was *the Messiah.* Jay brings good news to Darry’s life and soaring, otherworldly vocals to his band with fellow teen Nazarenes Mary and Jude. Together, they help each other survive life in the year 16 AD—and miraculously, they invent a beguiling new musical form that they call METAL, one of many epic revelations in this heretofore unheralded early chapter in the greatest story ever told. This special edition of The Book of Darryl is illuminated by world-famous GIF artist Scorpion Dagger, with images that come to animated life—accompanied by a splendorous heavy metal score—through augmented reality, in a lost gospel here resurrected by leading Darryl scholars and storytelling pioneers Matt Bate and the Goggles.
The Book of David
by David SteinbergFrom award-winning comedian, director, writer, and producer David Steinberg comes the totally original, utterly blasphemous, and hysterically funny memoir of a young man who emerged from a traditional Jewish childhood to become an international star -- all because, it seems, he kept God in stitches. David Steinberg was raised in Winnipeg, Canada, by parents who expected little from him. And no wonder. Instead of studying Talmud in order to become a rabbi, he chose to major in Martin and Lewis with a minor in basketball. As David imagines the story of his life (since his success otherwise makes no sense), God one day spotted him on the playground and decided that this young man with no ambition could go far with His help. Sure enough, God soon had David on network TV and Broadway, and selling out nightclubs across the country -- as well as being pursued by hot starlets. The Book of Davidis David Steinberg's hilarious trip down memory lane, assuming that the lane has a biblical address. This wild riff on the Old Testament is guaranteed laughter.
The Book of Extraordinary Deaths: True Accounts of Ill-Fated Lives
by Cecilia RuizA welcome dose of dark humor for these dark times, from acclaimed illustrator Cecilia RuizThe Book of Extraordinary Deaths introduces readers to the bizarre demises of thinkers, writers, monarchs, artists, and notable nobodies throughout history. Beginning in the seventh century BC with the unusual death of Draco and journeying chronologically to the present day, Ruiz’s playfully sinister giftbook illustrates and describes the infamous deaths of these unfortunate souls. From stories of the hot-air balloon duel that claimed a Frenchman’s life to the fatal wardrobe malfunction of famed dancer Isadora Duncan, The Book of Extraordinary Deaths is a uniquely clever and gorgeously rendered meditation on life’s ironies and mysteries. With Ruiz’s witty descriptions and rich, captivating illustrations, her characters come to life on the page even as they shuffle off this mortal coil.
The Book of Football Quotations
by Phil ShawThe greatest football quotations collection ever, now in its ninth edition.This compilation includes quotes from everyone – Shakespeare to Suarez, Camus to Cantona, Busby to Beckham – who has made an apt, pithy or comical comment about football. And not just footballers and managers either – fans, pundits, groundsmen, directors and wives all get to have their say too. Every subject is covered, from tactical debates to changing lifestyles, to produce a sometimes hilarious and always thought-provoking commentary on the game.‘My players are always the best players in the world, even if they aren’t’ - José Mourinho‘He was a quiet man, Eric Cantona, but he was a man of few words’ - David Beckham‘Sometimes when you aim for the stars you hit the moon’ - Ian Holloway
The Book of Formation
by Ross SimoniniThis debut novel—told in interviews—spans 20 years in the rise and fall of the charismatic leader of a seductive self-help movement.In the 1990s, a talk show host leads the "personality movement," an integrative approach to radical self-transformation. Mayah, the movement's architect and celebrity advocate, adopts a curious, wild child named Masha Isle. A guinea-pig for the movement, and the key to its future, Isle is the subject of the eight interviews that comprise this book. As the interviewer's objectivity disintegrates—even as the movement's legitimacy becomes increasingly suspect—he becomes obsessed with Masha. And all of that is thrown into question when tragedy strikes. The stunning debut of a new literary talent, and a fascinating take on the cult of personality: about celebrities need to destroy and recreate themselves to stay relevant, public personalities coming to belong to everyone, and about our need to see everyone as a kind of celebrity.
The Book of General Ignorance: Everything You Think You Know Is Wrong (Quite Interesting Ser.)
by John Lloyd John MitchinsonThink Magellan was the first man to circumnavigate the globe, baseball was invented in America, Henry VIII had six wives, Mount Everest is the tallest mountain? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong again.Misconceptions, misunderstandings, and flawed facts finally get the heave-ho in this humorous, downright humiliating book of reeducation based on the phenomenal British bestseller. Challenging what most of us assume to be verifiable truths in areas like history, literature, science, nature, and more, The Book of General Ignorance is a witty "gotcha" compendium of how little we actually know about anything. It'll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.Revealing the truth behind all the things we think we know but don't, this book leaves you dumbfounded about all the misinformation you've managed to collect during your life, and sets you up to win big should you ever be a contestant on Jeopardy! or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.Besides righting the record on common (but wrong) myths like Captain Cook discovering Australia or Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone, The Book of General Ignorance also gives us the skinny on silly slipups to trot out at dinner parties (Cinderella wore fur, not glass, slippers and chicken tikka masala was invented in Scotland, not India).Thomas Edison said that we know less than one millionth of one percent about anything: this book makes us wonder if we know even that much.You'll be surprised at how much you don't know! Check out THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE for more fun entries and complete answers to the following: How long can a chicken live without its head?About two years. What do chameleons do? They don't change color to match the background. Never have; never will. Complete myth. Utter fabrication. Total Lie. They change color as a result of different emotional states. Who invented champagne? Not the French. How many legs does a centipede have?Not a hundred. How many toes has a two-toed sloth? It's either six or eight. How many penises does a European earwig have? a)Fourteenb)None at allc)Two (one for special occasions)d)Mind your own businessWhich animals are the best-endowed of all?Barnacles. These unassuming modest beasts have the longest penis relative to their size of any creature. They can be seven times longer than their body. What is a rhino's horn made from? A rhinoceros horn is not, as some people think, made out of hair. Who was the first American president?Peyton Randolph. What were George Washington's false teeth made from? Mostly hippopotamus. What was James Bond's favorite drink? Not the vodka martini.From the Hardcover edition.
The Book of George: A Novel
by Kate GreatheadFrom the author of the critically acclaimed Laura & Emma comes a The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. for our times: Kate Greathead's razor-sharp but big-hearted excavation of millennial masculinity, The Book of George.If you haven’t had the misfortune of dating a George, you know someone who has. He’s a young man brimming with potential but incapable of following through; sweet yet noncommittal to his long-suffering girlfriend; distant from but still reliant on his mother; charmingly funny one minute, sullenly brooding the next. Here, Kate Greathead paints one particular, unforgettable George in a series of droll and surprisingly poignant snapshots of his life over two decades.Despite his failings, it’s hard not to root for George at least a little. Beneath his cynicism is a reservoir of fondness for his girlfriend, Jenny, and her valiant willingness to put up with him. Each demonstration of his flaws is paired with a self-eviscerating comment. No one is more disappointed in him than himself (except maybe Jenny and his mother). As hilarious as it is resonant and as singular as it is universal, The Book of George is a deft, unexpectedly moving portrait of one man—but also countless others.
The Book of Harold: The Illegitimate Son of God (The\it's Just Lunch Guide To Dating Ser.)
by Owen EgertonThe Book of Harold is as profound and deeply respectful a novel as it is irreverent in its wild, often hilarious take on a modern messianic movement in suburbia. The titular and sometimes exasperating hero of this masterful satire is Harold Peeks, a middle-aged suburbanite living a lonely if typical modern life in the outskirts of Houston, Texas. His world feels bland and pointless until one evening at a mundane office party he announces to his stunned co-workers that he is the Second Coming of Christ. Oddly enough, people start to believe him.Blake Waterson, Harold's closest friend and narrator of the novel, is as skeptical as anyone of this disheveled and disconcertingly bawdy Savior and yet this would-be Judas is compelled to follow Harold on his two-hundred mile walking journey to Austin with a mismatched group of equally puzzled disciples. On the road, this motley crew of witnesses to the holy get to experience misguided converts, violent possums, and the ungrateful recipients of off-kilter healings. They also discover the inherent paradoxes, absurdities, and dangers of spirituality, as they learn that saviors may not have all the answers, and humanity is just as bizarre and beautiful as the beliefs we hold.
The Book of Jane
by Anne Dayton May VanderbiltJane Williams is the happiest woman in New York. She has a dream job, a perfect Manhattan apartment, and a man she wants to marry. Her whole life is mapped out to the finest detail, and things just can't get any better. But in a New York minute, everything changes. After an evening on the town with a hot Hollywood actor her PR firm is wooing, she wakes up to a day filled with strange occurrences—a weird mark on her face and a red-haired woman who seems to be following her every move. This bizarre day turns increasingly horrible, and over the course of it, Jane loses her boyfriend, her best friend, her job, her home, maybe even her dog. Unsure of why she's being tested, Jane struggles to hold herself together while her world falls apart. Has God forgotten her? In this witty and contemporary retelling of the story of Job, Jane discovers what she really wants, after nearly everything she holds dear slips away. Filled with the sophistication and excitement of city life, but sprinkled with humor and strong values, this new novel from the Dayton/Vanderbilt team charms, inspires, and warms the heart.