- Table View
- List View
The African Svelte: Ingenious Misspellings That Make Surprising Sense
by Daniel Menaker&“For language lovers, this book, with all its verbal tangles and wit, is sure to, in its own words, &‘pass mustard&’&” (Poets & Writers). Inspired by Daniel Menaker&’s tenure at the New Yorker, this collection of comical, revelatory errors foraged from the wilds of everyday English comes with commentary by the author, illustrations by Roz Chast, and a foreword from Billy Collins. During his time at the renowned magazine, Menaker happened across a superb spelling mistake: &“The zebras were grazing on the African svelte.&” Fascinated by the idea of unintentionally meaningful spelling errors, he began to see that these gaffes—neither typos nor auto-corrects—are sometimes more interesting than their straight-laced counterparts. Through examples he has collected over the course of his decades-long career as an editor and writer, he brings us to a new understanding of language—how it&’s used, what it means, and what fun it can be. Illustrated by the inimitable Roz Chast, with a foreword by former poet laureate Billy Collins, The African Svelte offers thoughtful and intelligent exit Jesus. With both uniquely happy accidents and familiar fumbles like &“for all intensive purposes&” and &“doggy-dog world,&” readers delighted by language will find themselves turning the pages with baited breath to discover fresh howlers that have them laughing off their dairy airs.
The After Wife: A Novel
by Gigi Levangie GrazerGigi Levangie Grazer, the New York Times bestselling author of The Starter Wife, returns with a hilarious and spirited tale of love—both lost and found. L.A. is no place for widows. This is what forty-four-year-old Hannah Bernal quickly discovers after the tragic death of her handsome and loving husband, John. Misery and red-rimmed eyes are little tolerated in the land of the beautiful. But life stumbles on: Hannah’s sweet three-year-old daughter, Ellie, needs to be dropped off at her overpriced preschool, while Hannah herself must get back to work in order to pay the bills on “Casa Sugar,” the charming Spanish-styled bungalow they call home. Fortunately, Hannah has her “Grief Team” for emotional support: earth mother and fanatical animal lover Chloe, who finds a potential blog post in every moment; aspiring actress Aimee, who has her cosmetic surgeon on speed dial; and Jay, Hannah’s TV producing partner, who has a penchant for Mr. Wrong. But after a series of mishaps and bizarre occurrences, one of which finds Hannah in a posh Santa Monica jail cell, her friends start to fear for her sanity. To make matters worse, John left their financial affairs in a disastrous state. And when Hannah is dramatically fired from her latest producing gig, she finds herself in danger of losing her house, her daughter, and her mind. One night, standing in her backyard under a majestic avocado tree, in the throes of grief, Hannah breaks down and asks, “Why?” The answer that comes back—Why not?—begins an astounding journey of discovery and transformation that leads Hannah to her own truly extraordinary life after death.
The Age of Exploration: Totally Getting Lost (Epic Fails #4)
by Ben Thompson Erik SladerChristopher Columbus is one of the most famous explorers of all time, but he was neither the first nor last adventurer to ever stumble upon a great discovery. From the Silk Road of Asia to the icy shores of Antarctica, our knowledge of the world today is in large part due to several intrepid pioneers, risking life and limb for the sake of exploration. After all, setting off into the dark unknown requires an enormous amount of bravery. But every explorer quickly learns that courage and curiosity aren’t enough to save you if you can’t read a map or trespass on somebody else’s land! In this fourth installment of the Epic Fails series, authors Erik Slader and Ben Thompson introduces readers to an international cast of trailblazers and details every mutiny, wrong turn, and undiscovered city of gold behind the age of exploration.
The Aggretsuko Guide to Office Life: (sanrio Book, Red Panda Comic Character, Kawaii Gift, Quirky Humor For Animal Lovers)
by SanrioA colorful guide to office life as written by the beleaguered twenty-five-year-old red panda and star of the hit Netflix show.Aggretsuko may seem like just a cute, endearing, little red panda, but under the surface, she’s also a fed up office worker who’s tired of being pushed around and ready to snap. In this helpful handbook, she offers tips on how to deal with annual holiday parties, avoid colleagues after hours, circumvent oversharing coworkers, and most importantly—how to RAGE (preferably in heavy-metal karaoke sessions). Featuring art from the popular videos and Sanrio products combined with sidebars and prescriptive tips, this book is a must-have for anyone who needs help staying sane from nine to five.
The Air Ministry Survival Guide (Air Ministry Survival Guide)
by AnonTHE ULTIMATE SURVIVAL GUIDE for anyone who thinks they'd survive the world's most hostile environments - or at least imagine they could do.-----------------------------First issued to British airmen in the 1950s the beautifully illustrated Air Ministry Survival Guide provides invaluable practical tips and instruction on how to keep calm and carry on in any hostile environment.Whether you're lost in the desert, arctic, jungle, or adrift on the open ocean, you'll be better off armed with sensible advice on how to:- Build a structurally sound igloo- Pull faces to prevent frostbite (and when to expect bits to fall off should you fail)- Fashion a mask to prevent snowblindness- Make a hat out of seat cushions- Behave in the event of meeting hostile locals- Stay safe from poisonous reptiles and insects- Use a 'fire thong'- Punch man-eating sharks (which are cowards)
The Air Traveler's Survival Guide: The Plane Truth from 35,000 Feet
by A. Frank StewardFrom the Book Jacket: Air travel may be crazy on the ground for passengers, but what's it really like at 35,000 feet for the cabin crew? How safe, for example, are you when you fly? Is airport security as good as they claim? Why are you more susceptible to the effects of alcoholic beverages at 35,000 feet? How common is the "Mile High Club"? Do the South Americans and Scandinavians behave differently in the air? A very Frank Steward answers these questions and countless more in The Air Traveler's Survival Guide, exposing all the warts and blemishes of air travel. You encounter a kaleidoscope of personalities and experiences, including an "enterprising stowaway rat, a woman who discarded all of her clothes, a passenger with a one-way ticket to death, a widow with her husband's ashes, a child who cuts the hair of a sleeping passenger, crew members' fertility problems, itchy and riotous layovers, and mass food poisoning 90 minutes from the nearest airport! Tucked among the 68 stories in The Air Traveler's Survival Guide is a trunkload of tips and advice on how to make the best of air travel, including: What to put in your carry-on bag How to upgrade your seat How to fly standby and save bundles of money How to decipher what crew members say How to minimize the effects of jet lag * How to select a hotel room in which you can sleep Appropriately dedicated to "the people who smile and thank you for your trash," this eye-opening book puts a whole new face on the travel industry. You will laugh and cry and at times grimace, but you'll also discover a rich tapestry of people who populate those crammed seats, crowded aisles, and tiny restrooms. While a lot may go wrong with air travel on the ground and in the air, when you travel with A. Frank Steward, you'll see through the eyes of the cabin crew what air travel is all about - transporting interesting, and often very demanding, strangers from one destination to another.
The Alarming Career of Sir Richard Blackstone
by Lisa DoanTwelve-year-old Henry Hewitt has been living by his wits on the streets of London, dodging his parents, who are determined to sell him as an apprentice. Searching for a way out of the city, Henry lands a position in Hampshire as an assistant to Sir Richard Blackstone, an aristocratic scientist who performs unorthodox experiments in his country manor. The manor house is comfortable, and the cook is delighted to feed Henry as much as he can eat. Sir Richard is also kind, and Henry knows he has finally found a place where he belongs.But everything changes when one of Sir Richard’s experiments accidentally transforms a normal-sized tarantula into a colossal beast that escapes and roams the neighborhood. After a man goes missing and Sir Richard is accused of witchcraft, it is left to young Henry to find an antidote for the oversized arachnid. Things are not as they seem, and in saving Sir Richard from the gallows, Henry also unravels a mystery about his own identity.
The Alarming Palsy of James Orr
by Tom LeeA Kafkaesque and darkly humorous “suburban gothic” that tracks the unraveling of man’s body, mind, and life. James Orr—husband, father, reliable employee and all-around model citizen—awakes one morning to find half his face paralyzed. Waiting for the affliction to pass, he stops going to work and wanders his idyllic estate, with its woodland, uniform streets and perfectly manicured lawns. But there are cracks in the veneer. And as his orderly existence begins to unravel, it appears that James himself may not be the man he thought he was. A deeply unsettling story of creeping horror that consistently confounds expectations, The Alarming Palsy of James Orr introduces a writer of extraordinary and disturbing talents.
The Alchemaster's Apprentice: A Novel
by Walter MoersMalaisea, the unhealthiest town in the whole of Zamonia, is home to Echo the Crat, a multi-talented creature resembling a cat in appearance but capable of speaking any language under the sun, human or animal. When his mistress dies, Echo finds himself out on the street. Dying of starvation, he is compelled to sign a contract with Ghoolion the Alchemaster, Malaisea's evil alchemist-in-chief. This fateful document gives Ghoolion the right to kill Echo at the next full moon and render him down for his fat, with which he hopes to brew an alchemical concoction that will make him immortal. In return, he promises to regale the little Crat with the most exquisite gastronomic delicacies until his time is up. But Ghoolion has reckoned without Echo's talent for survival and his ability to make new friends. These include the Leathermice, the Cogitating Eggs, the Golden Squirrel, the Cooked Ghost, Theodore T. Theodore the one-eyed Tuwituwu, and, above all, Izanuela Anazazi, the last Uggly in Malaisea. Walter Moers's magnificent translation of Optimus Yarnspinner's novel introduces us to yet another of Zamonia's hotbeds of adventure: Malaisea, a place where sick is healthy, up is down, right is wrong, and Ghoolion the Alchemaster reigns supreme - until Echo crosses his path.
The Alchemy of Chaos (Maradaine Novels #2)
by Marshall Ryan MarescaVeranix Calbert is The Thorn--the street vigilante-turned-legend--and a danger to Willem Fenmere, the drug kingpin of Dentonhill. Veranix is determined to stop Fenmere and the effitte drug trade, especially when he discovers that Fenmere is planning on using the Red Rabbits gang in his neighborhood. But Veranix is also a magic student at the University of Maradaine, and it's exam week. With his academic career riding on his performance, there's no time to go after Fenmere or the Red Rabbits. But when a series of pranks on campus grow deadly, it's clear that someone has a vendetta against the university, and Veranix may be the only one who can stop them...
The Alien Conspiracy: An Unofficial Fortnite Novel (Battle Royale #2)
by Cara J. StevensOn an island where everyone is a warrior, only the strong survive. The Impossibles, a squadron of inexperienced soldiers, have been recruited from across the globe, tasked with the directive to train, fight, and win the ultimate victory in Fortnite’s Battle Royale. In this series of Fortnite novelizations, follow Zane, Jax, Asha, Jin, and Blaze as they seek out adventure, uncover mysteries, and battle to become the ultimate winners of the Battle Royale. The second book in this exciting new series, The Alien Conspiracy, leaps into their second thrilling adventure: Jin has always had his theories about what is happening on the island, but now it turns out they may not be that far-fetched after all: the mysteries from outer space and the comet, the rocket, and The Visitor—alien or impostor?
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook
by W. H. MumfreyAliens are among us, and it's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn how to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet. This handbook may be the only way to avoid total annihilation of the human race. Read it and join the resistance.
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook
by W. H. MumfreyResistance is Your Prime DirectiveHave you ever experienced a sensation of missing time? Have you ever found a metallic implant somewhere in your body? It's likely that you're a victim of alien abduction, and you don't even know it.Aliens are among us. While the true intentions of these mysterious intruders from outer space are unknown, there's no doubt that their actions are nefarious. It's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn the skills necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet.Aliens want to whisk you away in the night to perform terrifying experiments on you. Isn't it time you learn how use your MP3 player to defend yourself from their paralyzing powers? Shouldn't you know how to evade the pursuit of a flying saucer? Wouldn't you sleep better at night knowing some proven hand-to-hand combat techniques guaranteed to stop your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks?Make no mistake - our world is under attack and this handbook may be the only thing standing between the human race and total annihilation. Read it and join the resistance.
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse
by W. H. MumfreyResistance is Your Prime DirectiveHave you ever experienced a sensation of missing time? Have you ever found a metallic implant somewhere in your body? It's likely that you're a victim of alien abduction, and you don't even know it.Aliens are among us. While the true intentions of these mysterious intruders from outer space are unknown, there's no doubt that their actions are nefarious. It's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn the skills necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet.Aliens want to whisk you away in the night to perform terrifying experiments on you. Isn't it time you learn how use your MP3 player to defend yourself from their paralyzing powers? Shouldn't you know how to evade the pursuit of a flying saucer? Wouldn't you sleep better at night knowing some proven hand-to-hand combat techniques guaranteed to stop your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks?Make no mistake - our world is under attack and this handbook may be the only thing standing between the human race and total annihilation. Read it and join the resistance.
The Aliens Do NOT Want to Go Home
by Adam GustavsonAn uproariously funny intergalactic read-aloud from the creator of The Froggies Do NOT Want to Sleep. When it's time for the aliens to go home, the excuses begin. . . .A super silly picture book, perfect for 4-7 year olds who love to laugh and never want their playtime to end!The alien kids are having a great time invading planet Earth. When their parents show up with spaceship tractor beams, they don't want to go home. They aren't ready, they don't have their shoes on, and besides, it's not even dark yet!Adam Gustavson's illustrations are expressive, hilarious, and also gorgeous works of art. But most importantly, young beings of any species are sure to get their giggles out and relate to wanting the fun to go on … and on … and on.
The Aliens Have Landed!
by Kenn NesbittFrom the back cover: If aliens ever visit Earth, they'll definitely want to take this book home with them. No other souvenir will do after they've seen the world through Kenn Nesbitt's eyes-a world full of mashed potatoes on the ceiling, kangaruplets, skunks in love, antigravity machines, and a jillion other imaginative subjects. No matter what planet you live on, you'll want this book, too . . . it's packed with far-out, funny, clever poems guaranteed to give you a galactic case of the giggles.
The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion: A Novel
by Fannie FlaggThe one and only Fannie Flagg, beloved author of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Can't Wait to Get to Heaven, and I Still Dream About You, is at her hilarious and superb best in this new comic mystery novel about two women who are forced to reimagine who they are. Mrs. Sookie Poole of Point Clear, Alabama, has just married off the last of her daughters and is looking forward to relaxing and perhaps traveling with her husband, Earle. The only thing left to contend with is her mother, the formidable Lenore Simmons Krackenberry. Lenore may be a lot of fun for other people, but is, for the most part, an overbearing presence for her daughter. Then one day, quite by accident, Sookie discovers a secret about her mother's past that knocks her for a loop and suddenly calls into question everything she ever thought she knew about herself, her family, and her future. Sookie begins a search for answers that takes her to California, the Midwest, and back in time, to the 1940s, when an irrepressible woman named Fritzi takes on the job of running her family's filling station. Soon truck drivers are changing their routes to fill up at the All-Girl Filling Station. Then, Fritzi sees an opportunity for an even more groundbreaking adventure. As Sookie learns about the adventures of the girls at the All-Girl Filling Station, she finds herself with new inspiration for her own life. Fabulous, fun-filled, spanning decades and generations, and centered on a little-known aspect of America's twentieth-century story, The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion is another irresistible novel by the remarkable Fannie Flagg. Advance praise for The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion "Fannie Flagg is a fantastic storyteller. She surprises the reader in every chapter with unexpected twists and turns. The only problem I had with this fascinating story is that it ended too soon. I can't wait for her next book."--Carol Burnett "The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion is an absolute joy to read, full of Fannie Flagg's trademark humor, warmth, tenderness, and heart. If you're looking for a novel to lift your spirits and make you smile, this is definitely the book for you."--Kristin Hannah "An engaging, heartfelt story where family secrets unfurl and the past reshapes the present in surprising ways. Fannie Flagg has crafted a love letter to the courageous women who accomplished the extraordinary on the homefront during World War II."--Beth Hoffman "Sly and funny, and a delight from beginning to end. Reading Fannie Flagg is like sitting on the porch and listening to a master storyteller, until night falls and the tale is finally told, then not wanting to move a muscle because the story is still resonating in the quiet around you."--Sarah Addison Allen "The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion has all of the ingredients we hope to find in a Fannie Flagg novel. With its unforgettable characters, wildly hilarious scenes, and deeply touching moments, this novel is loaded with delights."--Edward Kelsey MooreFrom the Hardcover edition.
The Ally: A Novel
by Iván RepilaIn this unexpectedly hilarious social novel, a misguided thirty-something tries to beat his girlfriend at her own game: becoming the ultimate feminist.When he first meets Najwa at a lecture by Siri Hustvedt—whom he&’s never read—our hero discovers a whole new world of feminist thought. Determined to impress her, he sets out sincerely on his journey to allyship. His mother confides in him about the dreams she had to sacrifice because of the patriarchy, and he laments the violence and oppression women face. But he can&’t help but notice that they&’re going about their activism the wrong way… So our hero does what any good ally should: he gathers the worst of the macho men in town and begins a campaign to provoke the feminists. By &“putting them in their place&” with this phallic club—pelting demonstrators with raw eggs, posting obscene, threatening manifestos—he&’s convinced he can make women understand, and get them to fight harder for the cause. Following him as his plan spectacularly fails, The Ally mixes humor, clever storytelling, and hard-core feminist theory to lampoon the macho superiority complex and our modern gender wars.
The Almost True Story of Ryan Fisher
by Rob StennettMeet Ryan Fisher. He's young, energetic, and needs an edge in the real estate market. He's found the perfect niche: Christians. His business doubles when he advertises in the Christian business directory, and he begins to think he could really cash in by planting a church. But when the church takes off, Ryan is in over his head. Also features Z+ bonus materials; including, author interview, added content, fun facts, and more.
The Alphabet's Alphabet
by Chris HarrisFor fans of P is for Pterodactyl comes this groundbreaking spin on the ABCs from an acclaimed bestselling author and artist duo!Here's a totally twisted take on the alphabet that invites readers to look at it in a whole new way: An A is an H that just won't stand up right, a B is a D with its belt on too tight, and a Z is an L in a tug-of-war fight! Twenty-six letters, unique from each other -- and yet, every letter looks just like one another! Kind of like...one big family.From two bestselling masters of wordplay and visual high jinks comes a mind-bending riddle of delightful doppelgängers and surprising disguises that reveal we're more alike than we may think. You'll never look at the alphabet the same way again!
The Alteration
by Kingsley Amis William GibsonIn Kingsley Amis's virtuoso foray into virtual history it is 1976 but the modern world is a medieval relic, frozen in intellectual and spiritual time ever since Martin Luther was promoted to pope back in the sixteenth century. Stephen the Third, the king of England, has just died, and Mass (Mozart's second requiem) is about to be sung to lay him to rest. In the choir is our hero, Hubert Anvil, an extremely ordinary ten-year-old boy with a faultless voice. In the audience is a select group of experts whose job is to determine whether that faultless voice should be preserved by performing a certain operation. Art, after all, is worth any sacrifice.How Hubert realizes what lies in store for him and how he deals with the whirlpool of piety, menace, terror, and passion that he soon finds himself in are the subject of a classic piece of counterfactual fiction equal to Philip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle.The Alteration won the John W. Campbell Memorial Award for best science-fiction novel in 1976.tion novel in 1976.
The Altigators: Book 6 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #6)
by Kes GrayNelly's phone is still ringing with lots more monster sitting requests - and each one is full of strange surprises! From helping Altigators face their fears, battling venomous Tooth Furries, to taking care of Pipplewak eggs - Nelly's monster-sitting adventures are as unpredictable and exciting as ever!Nelly is monster sitting for Altigators, toweringly tall reptilian monsters. Or at least she's trying to. For some reason Altigator parents Soar and Rise have trouble leaving their apartment for any longer than three minutes!
The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman: A Novel
by Mamen SánchezA fiendishly fun and charming novel echoing the quirky works of brilliant director Pedro Almodóvar, The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman follows an uptight Englishman who is sent to Madrid to close a literary magazine and the five fiery, close-knit Spanish women who must devise a plan in order to keep the jobs they love.Atticus Craftsman never travels without a supply of Earl Grey, an electric kettle, and a teacup--so he makes sure he has packed all three after his father, distinguished publisher of Craftsman & Co., sends him to Madrid to shut down a failing literary magazine, Librarte. But when nobody has heard from him in three months, his father knows something must be very wrong. Fortunately, Inspector Manchego is on the case. Manchego gets to work unraveling the mystery of the Englishman's disappearance, but there to block him at every turn are the five fiery and close-knit Spanish women who run Librarte and who will do anything to keep their jobs. From a kidnapping to the "discovery" of the long-lost poems of Federico García Lorca, Manchego and Atticus are taken on a madcap journey through the narrow streets of Madrid and down to the bohemian heart of Andalucía. A charming tale with linguistic mishaps, literary intrigue, a clash of cultures, and an unexpected romance, The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman is at once a humorous literary caper and a touching love story, making for an altogether clever and delightfully different read.
The Alvares Bride (The Barons #10)
by Sandra MartonRead this classic romance by bestselling author Sandra Marton, now available for the first time in e-book!No one knew who was the father of Carin’s baby. She’d kept her secret for the entire pregnancy. But during the birth, she called out a name—Raphael Alvares!The powerful Brazilian millionaire rushed to Carin’s bedside. But had Rafe come because pride forced him to give the baby his name? Or was it because the one passionate night they’d shared had left him longing to make Carin his bride?Book 6 in The Barons miniseriesOriginally published in 2001
The Amalgamated Brotherhood of Spooks
by John Kendrick BangsJohn Kendrick Bangs (1862-1922) has earned comparison with Mark Twain and L. Frank Baum for his humorous fantasies, including "A Houseboat on the Styx" and these wildly adventurous "Andiron Tales" -- featuring talking andirons, bellows and fire-pokers . . . and a voyage to the crescent Moon