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The Clicking of Cuthbert
by P. G. WodehouseP.G. Wodehouse turns his keen eye and sharp wit upon golf, with a series of enlightening and amusing tales. This is a not-to-be-missed volume that will tickle any golfer, at any level of play. Wodehouse skewers every convention of the game, and tackles every fairway foible: the tee-talker, the green-gabbler, the prattler on the links, cheaters, temper, luck, betting, and golf-lawyers! And, since it's Wodehouse, there are the usual comic romantic entanglements that threaten the status quo. Topping it all off is a mythic account of how golf-- or gowf-- came to be. This rare little treasure will bring smiles to the rained-out, the snowed-in, the stuck-in-transit, and anyone else who's not out on the course. The Clicking of Cuthbert is a perfect gift item for the golfer who has everything.
The Client from Hell: And Other Publishing Satires
by Richard CurtisPreviously titled FOOL FOR AN AGENT. An alien space explorer seeking intelligent worlds discovers one inhabited by life forms known as publishers, and concludes that this world is not worth another visit; another voyager lands on Earth and selects a literary agent to represent his book and movie rights; a freelance writer is so outraged over a lousy royalty statement, he drills his publisher with a gun. These are just a few glimpses of this hilarious collection of lampoons of the publishing industry by prominent literary agent Richard Curtis. Never again will you look at your editor with a straight face.
The Clockwork Girl
by Sean O'Reilly Kevin HannaHaving sold more than 300,000 copies in a series of five comic books, The Clockwork Girl is now a luscious graphic novel. It’s a tale unlike any other, a journey into a faraway land where the Clockwork Girl lives—a ticking robot girl with mechanical limbs and a voice of her own.Against all odds, she finds companionship in Huxley, the amazing mutant circus boy who risks his life to be with her. Together they tackle questions like what man can feel that a machine or mutant can’t, what loneliness is, and what love is.But can a robot girl feel true love? Will this futuristic Romeo and Juliet survive the threats of their warring families?
The Clockwork Twin (Freddy the Pig #5)
by Walter R. BrooksThe international sensation for readers young and old, Freddy the Pig, is back! Adoniram lives with his cruel aunt and uncle until a chance flood leads him to the irrepressible Freddy and Jinx the Cat. The animals convince him to stay at Bean Farm and Mr. Bean&’s brother even builds him a mechanical twin playmate. When Adoniram&’s aunt and uncle come looking for him, they mistake the clockwork twin for the real boy. A rollicking comedy of errors ensues, and it is once again up to Freddy and friends to save the day.
The Clone Catastrophe: Emperor of the Universe (Emperor of the Universe #2)
by David Lubar“What do you get when you combine a 7th grader, a gerbil, a package of ground beef, and an alien space ship on a chase across the universe? David Lubar’s latest masterpiece, of course!”—Dan Gutman, bestselling author of the My Weird School series on Emperor of the Universe In The Clone Catastrophe, Nicholas, Jeef, and Henrietta the gerbil are back in another laugh-out-loud intergalactic adventure in this rollicking sequel to Emperor of the Universe. Nicholas V. Landrew's life as emperor of the universe is off to a terrible start! He's been cloned for some nefarious purpose, old enemies are after him, and his parents want him to take out the garbage! Will Nicholas even survive his first year? Praise for Emperor of the Universe“This book is ridiculous! Ridiculous crazy fun...and deep truth.”—Jon Scieszka, bestselling author of the Time Warp Trio series“Fans of Dav Pilkey, Jon Scieszka, and Tom Angleberger will race to read this smart and silly space adventure.”—School Library JournalAt the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The Close-Up: A friends-to-lovers romcom (I Heart SF #1)
by Sarah SmithA new work assignment goes delightfully off script in this friends-to-lovers rom-com from Sarah Smith, author of Faker and Simmer Down Simon Rutler is the perfect man. Handsome, kind and smart—Simon is amazing. Naomi Ellorza-Hays might be fresh out of a bad relationship and determined to stay single, but Simon is testing her newfound relationship ban. Good thing they&’re working together. Simon may be perfect, but he&’s also off-limits.There&’s just one small—well, big—problem. Simon works as a relationship therapist, specializing in helping men better support their partners. But Naomi can&’t stop thinking about how she was first introduced to Simon…as the camguy she watched in college. Filming him for her new docuseries suddenly takes on a whole new meaning. Their relationship is…complicated. Determined to stay professional, Naomi refuses to give in to their sizzling chemistry—until she does, and even then, it&’s strictly no strings attached. Until it&’s not. And Naomi realizes that maybe things between her and Simon aren&’t so complicated after all. I Heart SFBook 1: The Close-Up
The Closer You Get
by Kristi GoldTaking their romance on the road?Camille Carson has known performers like Brett Taylor-arrogant, egotistical, incapable of commitment. And Brett, the Texas cowboy turned country music superstar, is no different. She knows that...even if he makes her feel as though she's the only woman in the room when he starts crooning those romantic ballads. Resisting him is impossible.Still, Cammie's smart enough to know that this affair with Brett is as fleeting as her temporary gig with his crew. So when she starts believing his lyrics, she knows she's heaping on the heartache. Yet there's something about him that whispers he might not be just another star. Could be his young daughter waiting in the wings. Could be how he is offstage. If Brett isn't the man Cammie thinks he could be, it's not too late to cut and run. But what if he is?
The Cloud Castle: A Geronimo Stilton Adventure (Thea Stilton)
by Thea StiltonWhat is the secret of the clouds?The Thea Sisters have received an urgent message from their friend Will Mystery. The magical Land of Clouds is in danger. The mouselets must find out why the clouds are disappearing!Once they enter the kingdom through Mount Everest, the mice meet fairies, elves, and unicorns on their way to the majestic Cloud Castle. But who can the Thea Sisters count on to help solve the mystery? It's an incredible journey to restore harmony to this enchanted land!
The Cloven Viscount: "cloven Viscount", "baron In The Trees" And "non-existent Knight" (Picador Bks.)
by Italo CalvinoWhen a nobleman is split in two, his separate halves pursue different adventures in a fantastically macabre tale by the author of Invisible Cities. It is the seventeenth century, and the Viscount Medardo of Terralba must go into battle against the Turks. But the inexperienced warrior is soon bisected lengthwise by a cannonball. Through a miracle of stitching, one half of him survives, returning to his feudal estate to lead a lavishly evil life. But soon his other, virtuous half appears—also very much alive. When the two halves become rivals for the love of the same woman, there&’s no telling the lengths each will go to in order to win. Now available in an independent volume for the first time, this deliciously bizarre novella of is Calvino at his most devious and winning.
The Club
by Jane HellerWhen a golf club&’s first single female member is murdered, spunky club wife Judy Mills takes a swing at sleuthing in this &“witty, well-plotted&” mystery (Publishers Weekly). Judy Mills has it all: A handsome husband, a thriving career, and a landmark house on two sylvan acres. But when Judy is downsized by her company, her husband suggests she networks with members at The Oaks, the country club he reveres and she abhors. Judy knows the misogyny at the antiquated club is all par for the course, but she finds an unexpected ally in Claire Cox, a staunch feminist who has broken the club&’s ironclad rule against admitting single women. There are other things about The Oaks that Claire intends to change—until she&’s found dead in a sand trap on the golf course. When ruggedly handsome Det. Tom Cunningham asks Judy to secretly investigate, she agrees to shed the role of complacent club wife to become an amateur sleuth. One willing to risk her life to bring a killer to justice, and just maybe bring her golf-obsessed husband to his senses . . . &“Heller delivers perfect reading for the beach—or pool-side at the club.&” —Publishers Weekly
The Clue of the Linoleum Lederhosen
by M. T. Anderson Kurt CyrusLooking forward to a vacation, Katie, Lily, and Jasper attach their flying Gyroscopic Sky Suite to the Moose Tongue Lodge and Resort, where they mingle with other child heroes found in books, and where they become embroiled in a mystery involving lederhosen-clothed quintuplets and a screaming ventriloquist.
The Clueless Girl's Guide to Being a Genius
by Janice RepkaAphrodite Wigglesmith is a thirteen-year-old prodigy. After a fast track through Harvard, she's back at her old middle school to teach remedial math and prove a bold theory: anyone can be a genius with the right instruction. Enter Mindy, a ditzy baton twirler who knows more about hair roots than square roots. What could she possibly learn from such a frumpy nerd, except maybe what not to wear? But somewhere between studying and shopping, the two girls start to become friends. They're an unlikely pair, but in this uproarious middle-grade comedy, wacky is the norm and anything is possible - just like middle school. .
The Co-op: A Novel
by Tarah DeWittThey say love and construction don't mix. By that logic, hate and construction may as well be condemned. LaRynn Lavigne and Deacon Leeds had one short and contentious summer fling when they were teens—certainly nothing to build a foundation on. But a decade later, when their grandmothers have left them with shared ownership of their dilapidated Santa Cruz building, they're thrust back together and have to figure out how to brace up the pieces. LaRynn has the money, but in order to access her trust, she has to be married. Deacon has the construction expertise, but lacks the funds. A deal is struck: Marry for however long it takes to fix up the property, collect a profit, and cut ties. Thrust into a home without walls, LaRynn and Deacon quickly learn that it's easy to hide behind emotional ones, even in a marriage. But with all the exposure and pitfalls that come with living with the opposite sex (and none of the perks, much to their growing mutual frustration) they'll also have to learn what it means to truly cooperate as a team. Filled with crackling tension, The Co-op is a steamy second chance romance about restoration and renovation, and uncovering all the things that build character within ourselves. It's about the never-ending construction project that partnership is, and finding enjoyment at every stage.
The Coach House Cats
by Marilyn Edwards'A colourful series that celebrates the many ways animals enrich our relationships and our lives' Karin SlaughterIt's become obvious that the time has come to have Pushkin, the Russian Blue tom, and Titus, the ginger moggy queen, neutered. This was indeed the plan for Fannie, the tortoiseshell, but with her longed-for pregnancy well under way it must now be postponed. Fannie's due date for her kittens arrives and, in the time-honoured tradition of cats and the best laid plans, unexpected problems arise.Following this drama, the household finds itself in turmoil again with the arrival of a black Bengal kitten, called Gilly, who disrupts the peace of both cats and people resident in The Coach House. . . With a fine eye and ear for the world of natural history, Marilyn Edwards writes about rural living with charm and passion - but it is her observation of cats and their ways that make her books so utterly magical.**Fully illustrated throughout**Praise for the Moon Cottage books:'My all-time favourite cat book' Jacqueline Wilson'Cat lovers will adore this book . . . A tender story of love between the author and her cats' Celia Haddon'All the many delights and a few of the heartaches of a life with cats are told with charm and wit. A vivid, honest, observant and involving book' Desmond Morris
The Coach House Cats
by Marilyn Edwards'A colourful series that celebrates the many ways animals enrich our relationships and our lives' Karin SlaughterIt's become obvious that the time has come to have Pushkin, the Russian Blue tom, and Titus, the ginger moggy queen, neutered. This was indeed the plan for Fannie, the tortoiseshell, but with her longed-for pregnancy well under way it must now be postponed. Fannie's due date for her kittens arrives and, in the time-honoured tradition of cats and the best laid plans, unexpected problems arise.Following this drama, the household finds itself in turmoil again with the arrival of a black Bengal kitten, called Gilly, who disrupts the peace of both cats and people resident in The Coach House. . . With a fine eye and ear for the world of natural history, Marilyn Edwards writes about rural living with charm and passion - but it is her observation of cats and their ways that make her books so utterly magical.**Fully illustrated throughout**Praise for the Moon Cottage books:'My all-time favourite cat book' Jacqueline Wilson'Cat lovers will adore this book . . . A tender story of love between the author and her cats' Celia Haddon'All the many delights and a few of the heartaches of a life with cats are told with charm and wit. A vivid, honest, observant and involving book' Desmond Morris
The Coaster
by Erich WursterBob Patterson considers himself an Everyman—albeit an Everyman with a rich, beautiful wife, two good kids, and a mail-it-in job that ignores his law degree. Despite his good fortune, Bob is idling through life, bored at work and at home. In short, he is the proverbial Coaster.Bob's wife, Sarah, is the anointed heir to the empire built by her father, Sam—a kind of Kansas City, Missouri, Warren Buffet. Fine by Bob, the family soccer mom. But early one morning he and Sarah awake to terrible news.Sam's death reveals he appointed Bob to be the trustee of his personal fortune and, as the IRS currently has it, he'll be in charge of his mother-in-law's money. Even more terrifying, Bob realizes he faces the prospect of actually working all day, for stakes that matter.Is the reappearance of Bob's wildest fraternity brother from college and a proposal from a bland businessman with a plan that seems too good to be true mere coincidence? A businessman who refuses to take No for an answer. After a lifetime of choosing the path of least resistance, will Bob finally take a stand when his family needs him most? If so, where?Bob peppers his story with sports and pop culture references and wry commentary on everything from the sex lives of married couples (such as they are) to the enormous cost of being "honored" at a charitable event. Bob knows what the hero should do in the situations he encounters (he's read the books and seen the movies, too). He doesn't have "a very particular set of skills" or a secret past in the Special Forces. He's just a regular guy who handles extreme pressure and threats to his family about like you'd expect (not well). It's going to take all he's got (really, more than he's got) to raise his game. Fortunately he's got an ace-in-the-hole...at home.Darkly comic, The Coaster turns the conventions of the mystery/suspense genre upside down.
The Cockatrice Boys
by Joan AikenWhat does a cockatrice enjoy most for dinner? Anyone it can find.So the alarmed inhabitants of England discover when a plague of monsters--known as cockatrices--invade their country and begin gobbling them up. They must be stopped! A plucky band of survivors dubbed the Cockatrice Corps--including youngsters Dakin and Sauna--decide to fight back. But how? A rollicking adventure filled with breathtaking twists and turns, The Cockatrice Boys is Joan Aiken at her comic best.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary
by Geoff TibballsThe classic pocket guide to the language of London. This wonderful little guide to cockney rhyming slang contains over 1,700 old and new rhymes translated from Cockney to English and English to Cockney, including:Custard and jelly - tellyHot cross bun - nunLemon tart - smartRock ’n’ roll - doleSticky toffee - coffee...and many more. Master the art of the Cockney rhyme and discover the Cockney origins of common British phrases.
The Cockroach
by Ian McEwanKafka meets the world of Brexit in a bitingly funny political satire from Ian McEwanThat morning, Jim Sams, clever but by no means profound, woke from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a gigantic creature.Jim Sams has undergone a metamorphosis. In his previous six-legged existence he was ignored or loathed, but in his new incarnation he has woken up to discover he is the most powerful man in Britain: the Prime Minister. His mission: a nationalist revival, with or without Europe. Nothing must get in his way: not the opposition, nor the dissenters within his own party. Not even the rules of parliamentary democracy.In this bitingly funny, Kafkaesque satire, Ian McEwan engages with scabrous humour a very recognizable political world and turns it on its head.
The Cockroach
by Ian McEwanA brilliant, of-the-moment political satire like no other: here is Ian McEwan's Brexit-era take on Kafka's Metamorphosis, centered on a cockroach transformed into the prime minister of England. An Anchor Original.That morning, Jim Sams, clever but by no means profound, woke from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a giant creature.Jim Sams has undergone a metamorphosis. In his previous life he was ignored or loathed, but in his new incarnation he is the most powerful man in Britain--and it is his mission to carry out the will of the people. Nothing must get in his way; not the opposition, nor the dissenters within his own party. Not even the rules of parliamentary democracy. In this bitingly funny Kafkaesque satire, Ian McEwan engages with scabrous humor a very recognizable political world and turns it on its head.
The Cockroach (Disgusting Critters)
by Elise GravelHilarious illustrated non-fiction about cockroaches perfect for beginning readers. You'll bug out over this perfect pairing of humorous text and funny illustrations about this insect that's been around for over 335 million years!Fast cockroach facts:Distinctive trait: Flat and oval-shaped bodyDiet: Everything! (Especially if it's greasy and sweet . . .)Special talent: RunningThe Cockroach covers lifestyle (cockroaches prefer the dark and only come out during the day when their colonies get big enough), anatomy (cockroaches have wings but rarely fly), habitat (they prefer heat to cold), life cycle (a female can give birth to up to 350 babies during her lifetime) and much more. Although silly and off-the-wall, The Cockroach contains factual information that will both amuse and teach at the same time.
The Cocktail Collection: Wallbanger, Rusty Nailed, and Screwdrivered (The Cocktail Series)
by Alice ClaytonNew York Times bestselling author Alice Clayton delights readers with the sexy, laugh-out-loud romances in the beloved Cocktail series! Don't miss three hot and hilarious tales in the Cocktail Collection!In Wallbanger, Caroline didn't hear things "go bump in the night"--she heard things go thump in the night. And it was always her neighbor's headboard. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and suddenly Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly... In Rusty Nailed, Simon and Caroline find that playing house was never so much fun--or so confusing. With her boss on an extended honeymoon, Caroline's working long hours to keep the interior design company running and her projects on deadline. And with Simon, her hotshot photographer boyfriend, gallivanting all over the world for his job, the couple is heavy-duty into "absence makes the heart grow fonder" mode. No complaints about the great reunion sex, though! But between Caroline's crazy work schedule, Simon's traveling, and house sitting for their friends, will they be able to make their relationship a priority? Screwdrivered brings us Viv Franklin, a tough-as-nails software engineer who designs programs and loves hospital corners, and also wants to be swept off her feet by her dream guy. So when a phone call with news of an inherited house brings her out to Mendocino, California, she suddenly finds her "knight in shining armor" selection growing. There's a cowboy, one that ignites her loins. Because Cowboy Hank is totally loin-ignition worthy. But there's also a librarian, Clark Barrow. And he calls her Vivian. Can tweed jackets and elbow patches compete with chaps and spurs? You bet your sweet cow pie. It's like being forced to pick between Superman and Clark Kent! Really, how's a girl to choose?
The Code for Love and Heartbreak
by Jillian CantorIn this contemporary romcom retelling of Jane Austen’s Emma by USA TODAY bestselling author Jillian Cantor, there’s nothing more complex—or unpredictable—than love.When math genius Emma and her coding club co-president, George, are tasked with brainstorming a new project, The Code for Love is born.George disapproves of Emma’s idea of creating a matchmaking app, accusing her of meddling in people’s lives. But all the happy new couples at school are proof that the app works. At least at first.Emma’s code is flawless. So why is it that perfectly matched couples start breaking up, the wrong people keep falling for each other, and Emma’s own feelings defy any algorithm?
The Code of the Woosters (Jeeves and Wooster)
by P. G. Wodehouse“To dive into a Wodehouse novel is to swim in some of the most elegantly turned phrases in the English language.”—Ben Schott Follow the adventures of Bertie Wooster and his gentleman’s gentleman, Jeeves, in this stunning new edition of one of the greatest comic novels in the English language. When Aunt Dahlia demands that Bertie Wooster help her dupe an antique dealer into selling her an 18th-century cow-creamer. Dahlia trumps Bertie's objections by threatening to sever his standing invitation to her house for lunch, an unthinkable prospect given Bertie's devotion to the cooking of her chef, Anatole. A web of complications grows as Bertie's pal Gussie Fink-Nottle asks for counseling in the matter of his impending marriage to Madeline Bassett. It seems Madeline isn't his only interest; Gussie also wants to study the effects of a full moon on the love life of newts. Added to the cast of eccentrics are Roderick Spode, leader of a fascist organization called the Saviors of Britain, who also wants that cow-creamer, and an unusual man of the cloth known as Rev. H. P. "Stinker" Pinker. As usual, butler Jeeves becomes a focal point for all the plots and ploys of these characters, and in the end only his cleverness can rescue Bertie from being arrested, lynched, and engaged by mistake!
The Code of the Zombie Pirate: How to Become an Undead Master of the High Seas (Zen of Zombie Series)
by Scott KenemoreSet in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies. Imagine the consequences of pirates who have crossed the line to immortality: the breathtaking lack of respect for life--it's the ultimate pirate dream! Kenemore advises captions in: Selecting Zombie Pirates: Fast or slow, chatty or quiet? Can a zombie hold a cutlass, or is it better off using its teeth? As readers will learn, pirate crews benefit from diversity. Finding a Vessel Worthy of a Bunch of Dead Guys: Learn the ins-and-outs of pirate ships. Which ones best suit zombies, with their unique undead benefits and drawbacks? Flying the Zombie Pirate Flags: Learn how to instill fear with something as simple as a brain and crossbones. Going Full Zombie: Should the reader--an aspiring Pirate King or Queen--become a member of the walking dead? There are benefits and drawbacks to this, discussed here. This rollicking guide through the world that zombies and pirates both haunted and hunted will keep Zen of Zombie readers intrigued and win over legions of new fans.