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The Custodian from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures)
by Mike ThalerIt's another scary day at Black Lagoon Elementary. . . .Somewhere in the dark caverns beneath the school lurks the custodian. Is he really a dark phantom figure wreaking havoc through out the school, making it boil hot all summer and freezing cold all winter? They say he's mechanically challenged too. He can't even change a light bulb with out blowing off the ceiling. The school's definitely in a fix with this custodian!
The Custodians
by Richard CowperThe Custodians tells of a visitor to a French monastery, and of one specially built tiny room which is constructed precisely on the intersection of mysterious force fields, so that anyone who enters is able to foresee the future. Paradise Beach is the story of a wall-screen whose image of the sea attunes itself to the individual perceptions of the onlooker. Piper at the Gates of Dawn is set towards the end of the next millennium when the stories about the coming of the mysterious white bird of kinship become associated with the travels of an old story-teller and his young nephew, whose pipe seems to have a magical quality. Finally, The Hertford Manuscript tells of the remarkable discovery of a seventeenth-century book with some pages purporting to be the journals of a nineteenth-century time traveller.
The Customer Is Always Wrong: An Unhinged Guide to Everything That Sucks About Work (from an Angry Retail Guy)
by Scott SeissGive the gift of funny to anyone in your life (maybe even yourself!) who could use a dose of irreverent humor about why work stinks.Customers want you to magically produce something from the back room. Bosses schedule you on your day off. Corporate policies are mandated that make zero practical sense. Sound familiar?If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.Expanding on the ire-filled, laugh-out-loud viral videos that have made him a (whispered) workplace name, Scott Seiss joyfully eviscerates not only overbearing customers but every annoying aspect of work like purposeless job interview questions, debatable brand values, and the walking human trainwrecks that are our bosses. Scott guides you all the way from first applying to the job, to inevitably gritting your teeth and smiling on your last day when that one manager you despise says, &“Come back and visit us!&”The Customer Is Always Wrong is for anyone who:Is tired of their "raise" being as close as scientifically possible to 0 percentWants to tell their boss that not even the self-checkout machines want to work hereIs prepared to tell the next customer who asks to see the manager that the manager has no idea what's going on eitherCalls in sick whenever their PTO request is deniedBelieves entering a store five minutes before it closes should be illegalExplains, on a weekly basis, why someone can't use a coupon that expired 17 years agoIs physically repulsed by the phrase, "At this company, we're a family. . . ." This tongue-in-cheek commiseration for workers will make you laugh out loud at the things that drive you crazy in the workplace. With Scott's signature rants, funny anecdotes, and absurd musings, this book celebrates and empowers underpaid and overworked employees with an uproarious, illustrated ode to what we really think about our jobs and the customers that come with them (except the ones who read this book, of course).
The Customer Is Not Always Right: Hilarious and Horrific Tales of Customers Gone Wrong
by A.J. AdamsService workers share their funniest and most cringeworthy stories of difficult, demanding, and just plain mind-boggling encounters with the public . . . “Ma’am, the rules clearly state that you cannot have any liquids over 3.4 ounces in your carry-on. If you’d like to, you could—”“But that’s not a liquid!”“Excuse me, ma’am?”“It’s not a liquid! It’s water!”Retailers, restaurants, and tech support providers believe service is king, but in The Customer Is Not Always Right, A.J. Adams proves that customers will do anything they can to put that motto to the test.Enjoy tales from the creator of the popular website Not Always Right, including half that are previously unpublished, showcasing customer-relations horror stories everyone can relate to. No matter what side of the counter you’re on, there are hilarious accounts about everything that can go wrong between the customer and retail or service provider. Whether it's a confrontation in the drive-through over not enough fries or arguing over a one-cent price difference on milk, this book proves the principle of “the customer is always right” can be dead wrong.
The Cycling Wangdoos
by Kelly PulleyThe Cycling Wangdoos is an imaginative, fun-to-read rhyming tale of a Tibetan racing team who ride on a six-seater bicycle with a wacky yak on the back. They have a long record of winning races by working together, until the smallest Wangdoo begins to think he’s pulling more than his fair share of the weight. Find out what happens when his discontentment quickly spreads through the team and the Wangdoos’ race takes a dangerous turn. When the race is over, the riders are left with a hard-learned lesson—that teams work best when everyone does their part. Laugh-out-loud illustrations bring this delightful story to life.
The Cyclist Who Went Out in the Cold: Adventures Riding the Iron Curtain
by Tim MooreTim Moore and a rickety metal steed are back together—riding the entirety of the Iron Curtain, where history, mechanical failures, physical endurance, and humor come together for "the Bill Bryson on two wheels." Not content with tackling the Italian Alps or the route of the Tour de France, Tim Moore sets out to scale a new peak of rash over-ambition: 6,000 mile route of the old Iron Curtain on a tiny-wheeled, two-geared East German shopping bike. Asking for trouble and getting it, Moore sets off from the northernmost Norwegian-Russian border at the Arctic winter’s brutal height, bullying his plucky MIFA 900 through the endless sub-zero desolation of snowbound Finland. Sleeping in bank vaults, imperial palaces and unreconstructed Soviet youth hostels, battling vodka-breathed Russian hostility, Romanian landslides and a diet of dumplings, Moore and his ‘so-small bicycle’ are sustained by the kindness of reindeer farmers and Serbian rock gods, plus a shameful addiction to Magic Man energy drink. Haunted throughout by the border detritus of watchtowers and rusted razor wire, Moore reflects on the curdling of the Communist dream, and the memories of a Cold War generation reared on the fear of apocalypse—at a time of renewed East-West tension. After three months, twenty countries and a fifty-eight degree jaunt up the thermostat, man and bike finally wobble up to a Black Sea beach in Bulgaria, older and wiser, but mainly older.
The D'Evil Diaries: 1
by Tatum FlynnA hilarious, crackling, original debut about an unlucky demon, perfect for fans of Derek Landy and Eoin Colfer. Twelve-year-old Jinx is hopeless at being evil. Which is a bit of a problem when you're Lucifer's youngest son. But when Jinx runs away from Pandemonium, the walled city he's lived in all his life, he bumps into dead girl Tommy - who's been sent to Hell for accidentally feeding her nasty uncle to a circus lion - and unearths a conspiracy that could up-end the entire underworld. Cue shenanigans involving carnivorous carousel horses, death-trap-riddled libraries and hungry quicksand. Now the fate of the realm rests in the hands of its most unlikely demon and a girl who shouldn't be in Hell at all...
The D'Evil Diaries: Book 1 (The D'Evil Diaries #1)
by Tatum FlynnA hilarious, crackling, original debut about an unlucky demon, perfect for fans of Derek Landy and Eoin Colfer.Twelve-year-old Jinx is hopeless at being evil. Which is a bit of a problem when you're Lucifer's youngest son. But when Jinx runs away from Pandemonium, the walled city he's lived in all his life, he bumps into dead girl Tommy - who's been sent to Hell for accidentally feeding her nasty uncle to a circus lion - and unearths a conspiracy that could up-end the entire underworld. Cue shenanigans involving carnivorous carousel horses, death-trap-riddled libraries and hungry quicksand. Now the fate of the realm rests in the hands of its most unlikely demon and a girl who shouldn't be in Hell at all...
The Da-Da-De-Da-Da Code
by Robert RankinJonny Hooker has been picked as a WINNER! and all he has to do to claim his prize is to solve the Da-da-de-da-da Code. Jonny knows that beat; it always turns up in popular music - like 'Waltzing Matilda', or the National Anthem. And it has something to do with the Devil's Chord. And with Robert Johnson (who sold his soul to the Devil), whose blues influenced a generation of musicians. And it definitely has something to do with Elvis, who is still alive and rocking (of course). And with the Secret Parliament of Five, who meet in Gunnersbury Park to dictate world affairs. And when he solves the Da-da-de-da-da Code, Jonny will also discover why all the most famous rock musicians die aged twenty-seven, the truth about raising an ancient god, and the destruction of the world. It's all right there in the music. All Jonny has to do is to crack that code. Before he dies on Monday.
The Dachshund Wears Prada: A Rom Com (Paws in the City #1)
by Stefanie London"London&’s characters leap off the page... It&’s a delightful start to a series that promises to be good fun."—Publishers Weekly"This is the romcom Carrie Bradshaw would have written if she were a dog person, and I'm obsessed!"—Teri Wilson, USA Today bestselling author of A Spot of TroubleHow do you start over when the biggest mistake of your life has more than one million views?Forget diamonds—the internet is forever. Social media consultant Isla Thompson learned that lesson the hard way when she went viral for all the wrong reasons. A month later, Isla is still having nightmares about the moment she ruined a young starlet&’s career and made herself the most unemployable influencer in Manhattan. But she doesn&’t have the luxury of hiding until she&’s no longer Instagram poison. Not when her fourteen-year-old sister, Dani, needs Isla to keep a roof over their heads. So, she takes the first job she can get: caring for Camilla, a glossy-maned, foul-tempered hellhound.After a week of ferrying Camilla from playdates to pet psychics, Isla starts to suspect that the dachshund&’s bark is worse than her bite—just like her owner, Theo Garrison. Isla has spent her career working to make people likable and here&’s Theo—happy to hide behind his reputation as a brutish recluse. But Theo isn&’t a brute—he&’s sweet and funny, and Isla should not see him as anything but the man who signs her paychecks. Because loving Theo would mean retreating to his world of secluded luxury, and Isla needs to show Dani that no matter the risk, dreams are always worth chasing.Paws in the CityDon't forget to check out Stefanie London's next book, Pets of Park Avenue!
The Dada Caper: The Chance Purdue Series - Book One (The Chance Purdue Mysteries #1)
by Ross H. Spencer&“The hero is a private eye who is always tailing the wrong people and hitting the wrong guys. The Dada Caper is wild, shrewd, mad and unexpectedly funny&” (The New York Times). Chance Purdue may be better at a lot of things than he is at detecting, but he&’s the only man for the job when the FBI comes looking for someone to take on the Soviet-inspired DADA (Destroy America, Destroy America) conspiracy. Plus, he needs a paycheck. Chance gets off to a rough start as he&’s led on a merry chase through Chicago&’s underbelly and drawn into a case of deception that can only be solved with the help of a mysterious femme fatale who&’s as beautiful as she is cunning.
The Daddy Book
by Todd ParrWhether they're working at home or working far away, teaching you how towalk or how to ride a skateboard, wearing suits or wearing two different socks,daddies can be pretty cool. With childlike smiling stick figures, bold,brilliant color, and upbeat text, picture-book creator Todd Parr celebrates thediverse, wonderful world of fathers in The Daddy Book. As in his Mommy Book, Parr focuses on thedifferences between individual parents ("Some daddies make cookies. Some daddiesstop for doughnuts."), but brings it all together every few pages with lineslike, "All daddies love to kiss and hug you!" or "All daddies like to watch yousleep!" Parr's quirky artwork and eternally optimistic--yet neversaccharine--books are truly irresistible, for both grownups and kids. Don't missany of his friendly, esteem-boosting titles: The Best Friends Book, It's Okay to Be Different,Underwear Do's andDon'ts, and lots more. (Ages 3 to 6) --Emilie Coulter
The Daddy Project
by Lee McKenzieHer ProblemAs a busy single mom to her teenage daughter, Kristi Callahan doesn't have time for a man. But it sure would be nice if her mother believed that, too. She keeps setting Kristi up on disastrous blind dates, determined to find her "the one."His ProblemAfter Nate McTavish's wife died, he was faced with raising his twin little girls alone. Making it up as he goes along and sometimes questioning his daddy skills, he also has to fend off women his well-meaning family keep throwing at him.Their SolutionWhen Nate hires Kristi to stage his house before selling it, they instantly realize they've found the perfect answer to their problem: be fake dates for each other! It's a great plan-until they start to wonder if the real thing might not be even better....
The Daily Don Pandemic Edition: From Impeachment to Imbleachment
by Jesse DuquetteThe NEW Daily Don Pandemic Edition, political cartoon skewers the 45th with brilliant comic satire that covers the (hopefully) final two years of the Trump presidency. With the.daily.don&’s Instagram followers reaching 80,000, Jesse Duquette proves his brilliant cartoon accounts of the brutal Trump administration hit home. It began in the wake of the first Trump press conference that gave us the first &“Alternative Fact&” about inauguration crowd sizes and has continued daily, acting as a bizarre history, illustrating each daily outrage by Donald Trump. Picking up where the first book—The Daily Don: All the News that Fits into Tiny, Tiny Hands—left off, The Daily Don Pandemic Edition takes us from Trump&’s blatant attempt to cover up Russia&’s involvement in the 2016 election to his recommendation that Americans ingest disinfectant to cure coronavirus, and beyond. While Trump continues to shock and horrify on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis, Duquette keeps up with the outrageous sputter that shoots out of the president&’s mouth and perhaps other orifices with scathing satire that&’s both hilarious and, well, sad. This Pandemic Edition pulls together selections from Trump&’s (hopefully) last two-years in office and acts, again, as a semi-accurate record of what these strangest of strange times were like for those of us who were there and lived to tell the tale. Because there is still no better method to record a cartoon presidency than with colored pencils and markers.
The Daily Don: All the News That Fits into Tiny, Tiny Hands
by Jesse DuquetteThe Best of “The Daily Don,” political cartoon that documents all the covfefe of the administration of Donald Trump.The Daily Don is the best of artist Jesse Duquette’s fabulous Instagram gallery of political cartoons relating to the Trump administration. It began in the wake of the first Trump press conference that gave us the weird and unnecessary lie about crowd sizes. Right then, Jesse thought, if this was Day One and the lying was already this casual and obvious, what did this mean for Day 2? or Day 100? He drew his first picture: Sean Spicer delivering his line (“Period.”), added a quote from Orwell’s “1984” that seemed particularly relevant, and posted it to Instagram with the caption that he was going to attempt to document every day of the Administration until the end—a vow that he was maybe 35% serious about. But he has not missed a day and is still going strong. These drawings are the perfect antidote to the cries about “Fake News!” and “Build a Wall!” They help us all stay sane and smile (however nervously) through these strange times. This book pulls together selections from the first nearly-two-years in office—from Muslim bans to Melania jackets and all the beef-tweeting covfefe in between—and acts as a semi-accurate record of what these strangest of strange times were like for those of us who were there and lived to tell the tale. Because what better method to record a cartoon presidency than with colored pencils and markers?
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 1 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiGut-busting antics!In this slice-of-life comedy, high schoolers Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori tackle the wacky and awkward situations they&’re thrown into in their everyday lives! The trio do everything a normal group of high school boys would do. They play games, they tell ghost stories, and they even...wear skirts?! There&’s no shortage of witty one-liners in this knee-slapping series!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 2 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiHigh school boys, be fools! Follow the bizarre adventures of Tadakuni, Hidenori and Yoshitake at the all boys, Sanada North High School.This is a high school slice of life comedy that will keep you laughing.High school boys, be fools! Follow the bizarre adventures of Tadakuni, Hidenori and Yoshitake at the all boys, Sanada North High School.This is a high school slice of life comedy that will keep you laughing.
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 3 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiThree Teenaged StoogesYour favorite tasteless testosterone-fueled trio takes the stage again in this third tome of topnotch tomfoolery! This time they&’ll tackle tenacious troubles, tricky moves, twisted imaginations, towers, and much more. So prepare for a triple dose of tee-hees with another trip into the lives of the (not-so-terribly) typical!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 4 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiA High School Life UnimaginableAh, high school! A time of bittersweet memories, crushes, and battles against formidable insects! A time of firsts: the first time you felt disappointed by panties, the first time you choked on rice cake, learning how to ride a bike for the first time—Wait… That doesn&’t sound like high school at all. But it&’s a small sample of the hilarious hijinks and oddball occurrences that Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori regularly experience in this fourth volume of The Daily Lives of High School Boys!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 5 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiSilly Times at Sanada North HighThey were teenagers living the humdrum life of Japanese high school boys. By day, they were a four-eyed geek with daddy issues, a ditzy goofball who can&’t stop saying &“surreal,&” and…another boy who barely shows up in the story, but when the final school bell rang, they were…still those people. Enjoy more rollicking inanity as Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori continue to experience adolescent awkwardness, antiquated can-based games, and more—all backed by a killer rock score (in your head).To the outside world, their lives were simply absurd marks on paper that some may call &“manga,&” but to each other, this was simply The Daily Lives of High School Boys.
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 6 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiMad Lads20XX. Japan is a barren wasteland, and mankind is governed by lawlessness. But in these grim times, a hero shall arise! Known to many as Tadakuni Il Combattante, he journeys in the name of justice with his fellow fighters, Yoshitake and Hidenori, to right wrongs and bring hope to a world drowning in darkness.In this sixth installment of Tadakuni&’s adventures, Il Combattante and his comrades expose untruths, prove their mettle as men, and risk their lives for...sausage?Wait...no—they&’re just ordinary Japanese high school boys with a lot of time on their hands. And their hijinks continue in the latest volume of The Daily Lives of High School Boys!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 7 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiTerminal StupidityFrom misreadings and misunderstandings to manly bonds and menacing chases, the boys of Sanada North High School have just been doing what &“normal&” high school boys do. But all good things must come to an end as we say farewell to the trio of twits with an extra helping of cheese, absurdity, and copious callbacks. Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori&’s halcyon days of high school hijinks must now come to a halt, but let&’s laugh, bleat, and bray one last time in this final volume of The Daily Lives of High School Boys.
The Daily Show (The Book): An Oral History as Told by Jon Stewart, the Correspondents, Staff and Guests
by Jon Stewart Chris Smith<P>The complete, uncensored history of the award-winning The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, as told by its correspondents, writers, and host. <P>For almost seventeen years, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart brilliantly redefined the borders between television comedy, political satire, and opinionated news coverage. It launched the careers of some of today's most significant comedians, highlighted the hypocrisies of the powerful, and garnered 23 Emmys. Now the show's behind-the-scenes gags, controversies, and camaraderie will be chronicled by the players themselves, from legendary host Jon Stewart to the star cast members and writers-including Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Steve Carell, Lewis Black, Jessica Williams, John Hodgman, and Larry Wilmore-plus some of The Daily Show's most prominent guests and adversaries: John and Cindy McCain, Glenn Beck, Tucker Carlson, and many more. <P>This oral history takes the reader behind the curtain for all the show's highlights, from its origins as Comedy Central's underdog late-night program hosted by Craig Kilborn to Jon Stewart's long reign to Trevor Noah's succession, rising from a scrappy jester in the 24-hour political news cycle to become part of the beating heart of politics-a trusted source for not only comedy but also commentary, with a reputation for calling bullshit and an ability to effect real change in the world. <P>Through years of incisive election coverage, Jon Stewart's emotional monologue in the wake of 9/11, his infamous confrontation on Crossfire, passionate debates with President Obama and Hillary Clinton, feuds with Bill O'Reilly and Fox, the Indecisions, Mess O'Potamia, and provocative takes on Wall Street and racism, The Daily Show has been a cultural touchstone. Now, for the first time, the people behind the show's seminal moments come together to share their memories of the last-minute rewrites, improvisations, pranks, romances, blow-ups, and moments of Zen both on and off the set of one of America's most groundbreaking shows. <P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
The Daily Show Presidential Twitter Library
by Trevor NoahAs seen on The Daily Show, an illustrated portrait of the Donald J. Trump Twitter account, with analysis and 'scholarly' commentary from the writers of The Daily Show and an introduction by Trevor Noah.In June 2017, just steps from Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah opened The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library, a 4,000-square-foot museum space that gave the 45th president and his amazing Twitter legacy the respect they deserve. In the single weekend it was open to the public, the Library pop-up drew 7,500 visitors and had to turn away countless others.But the Presidential Twitter Library experience should not be limited to the elite coastal few. Not fair! All citizens, even the Mexican ones, should have the chance to see Donald Trump's tweets in their rightful context - organized and commented on in the fearless, hilarious, insightful voice of The Daily Show.This one-of-a-kind exhibition catalogue presents the Library's complete contents, including:The Masterpieces: In-depth critical appreciations of history's most important Trump tweets, from 'Very Stable Genius' to 'Covfefe' to 'Trump Tower Taco Bowl/I Love Hispanics!'The Greatest Battles: @realDonaldTrump's brutal Twitter campaigns against fellow Republicans, Diet Coke, women generally, and Kristen Stewart specificallySad! A Retrospective: a compendium of the many people, events and twists of fate that apparently made Donald Trump feel this human emotionTrumpstradamus: DJT's amazing 140-character predictions-none of which came true!The Hall of Nicknames: the greatest of Trump's monikers, from 'Lyin' Ted' to 'Low I.Q. Crazy Mika', accompanied by original caricature artworkTrump vs. Trump: You're going to want to sit for this one. Donald Trump has sometimes been known to contradict himself.Always the Best: the greatest boasts of the greatest boaster of all time, ever!Comprising hundreds of Trump tweets, and featuring a foreword by Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Jon Meacham, and even a place for readers to add their own future Trump tweet highlights - because he is making new Twitter history literally every day - The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library is a unique portrait of an artist whose masterworks will be studied by historians, grammarians, and mental health professionals for years to come.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) Teacher's Edition
by Jon Stewart The Writers of The Daily ShowFor everyone who was too cheap to buy the hardcover, the blockbuster, award-winning #1 New York Times bestseller is now available in ebook--with a new introduction, fully updated, and with equally unsettling nude photos of the newest Supreme Court justices, and a text corrected by the most reputable college professor we could find/afford. Including: Historical inaccuracies, gross distortions, complete fabrications-corrected by real-life bearded college professor.