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The Darkest Lord (The Mysterium Series #3)
by Jack HeckelIn the epic conclusion to Jack Heckel’s whimsical fantasy series, Dark Lord Avery Stewart must join the Company of the Fellowship in a frenzied war against Moregoth and the corrupt forces of Mysterium. . . and destroy the magical artifact fueling the interworld chaosIn The Darker Lord, Avery Stewart learned a terrible truth about Mysterium: the home of his beloved university and the reality-center of the multiverse is not the world he thought it was. The true Mysterians, innately endowed with the power to manipulate reality, were displaced eons ago by the subworlders with whom they shared their magical teachings, and written out of the reality pattern of their own world. For years they have lived in exile in the subworld of Trelari, shielded from the Mysterian pursuit led by Moregoth and the Sealers. That is, until Valdara, the warrior queen of Trelari, reopened the subworld to the rest of the multiverse and challenged the Mysterium to a final showdown.One year later, a violent war of worlds drags on, and Avery can’t help feeling that all of this is his fault.But the good news (if you can call it that) is that Avery might hold the key—literally, a key—to ending the suffering and saving Trelari. For Avery possesses the Reality Key, a magical artifact with the power to bend reality to one’s will, often to the immediate detriment of entire worlds. . . and, if it falls into the hands of the Mysterian forces, much more. To protect his friends, save Trelari, and bring order to Mysterium, Avery will need to do the unthinkable: travel to the heart of Mysterium, destroy the Key, and rewrite Mysterium’s reality pattern to restore balance to the multiverse, once and for all.
The Darling Buds of May: A Comedy (The Pop Larkin Chronicles #1)
by H. E. BatesThe rich spirit of an English junk dealer and his family is challenged by the arrival of the tax collector in this humorous and heartwarming classic. Beneath the sunny, cloudless skies of Kent, the Larkin household—Pop, Ma, and their six children—enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Pop works as a junk dealer and keeps the farm to feed his brood, while Ma cooks the meals and minds the children. While the family may not seem to have much, they more than make up for it in joyous spirit—and bountiful feasts. All of that could change, however, when a stranger appears on their farm. Cedric Charlton from Inland Revenue has come to inquire why the Larkins failed to file income tax for the previous year. But Charlton&’s plans hit a snag when the eldest Larkin daughter, Mariette, takes a liking to him—and he to her. Now, if the Larkins and country living can charm Charlton, perhaps he will forget about every last pound they owe . . . &“A pulsing comedy of country manners. A five-alarm blaze of a book. Just about perfick.&” —Time &“A gently, anarchic, wish-fulfilling daydream.&” —The Times (London)
The Darwin Awards 4
by Wendy NorthcuttAll new tales from the shallow end of the gene pool Named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, The Darwin Awards pays homage to those who improve our gene pool . . . by removing themselves from it. Most of us know instinctively that igniting a blasting cap in our mouth is a recipe for disaster. Darwin Award winners do not. Most of us have basic sound judgement that eliminates the need for NO SMOKING signs at ammo dumps. Darwin Award winners do not. Whether it's thallium-snorting soldiers, head-butting motorcyclists, or hatchet-wielding men who mistake a body part for a chicken neck, there's no shortage of creative Darwin Award winners. Filled with 150 original tales of evolution in action, science essays by guest writers, and a spoof research paper supporting Intelligent Design, The Darwin Awards IV demonstrates that when it comes to common sense, natural selection still has a long way to go.
The Darwin Awards Countdown to Extinction
by Wendy NorthcuttThe newest installment of the human race's most "devastatingly" popular humor series. The Darwin Awards are more than just a brand. They're a pop culture phenomenon. With six books and a website that draws in more than a million unique visitors every month, the Darwin Awards rivals The Onion and The Simpsons as one of the biggest humor franchises in the world. Fully illustrated and featuring all-new tales of the marvelously macabre, The Darwin Awards Countdown to Extinction chronicles the astonishing acts of individuals who have taken a swan dive into the shallow end of the gene pool. From attaching a five-horsepower engine to a barstool, to hammering a metal hook into an explosive device, to using a taser to treat a snake bite, these gloriously gruesome incidents prove that the countdown (to human extinction) is well under way. And we won't exit this mortal coil without one last laugh. .
The Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection
by Wendy Northcutt'Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe. ' Albert Einstein, Scientific adviser to the Darwin Awards One of the best-known and most frequently visited web sites is the Darwin Awards web site. Practically everyone who is on the net has received a Darwin story in their e-mail at one time or another. It is one of those legendary sites, which has become part of the fabric of being on-line. This is the sequel to the bestselling Darwin Awards and elaborates on the universal themes of death and stupidity. These stories are about the people for whom warnings such as 'coffee is hot' and 'this superman cape does not enable the wearer to fly' were made. This new book includes over 100 brand-new award-winners, honourable mentions, (debunked) urban legends, the return of some all-time favourites as well as some science and safety tips for readers on how to avoid the scythe of natural selection. This, the newest collection of magnificent misadventures, appeals to the market who continue to make The Darwin Awards a continual best-selling phenomenon, is the must-have humour title for the next holiday season and beyond.
The Darwin Awards III
by Wendy NorthcuttThe humour evolution takes another giant step One of the human race's most popular humour series returns with a brand-new collection of hilariously macabre mishaps and misadventures, honouring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it. The Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Celebrate Darwin Award winners who made the 'ultimate sacrifice'; wonder at the misguided pluck of Honorable Mentions who survived their own bad judgment, and look on in awestruck amusement at Personal Accounts shared by the perpetrators themselves. From the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself twice to the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw, The Darwin Awards III proves again that when it comes to stupidity, we are the most advanced species on the planet.
The Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool
by Wendy NorthcuttThe hilarious New York Times bestselling phenomenon—more than 1.5 million copies sold! New York Times bestselling author Wendy Northcutt is back, asking, Have we evolved at all? The answer: Not all of us. What crazy cocktail of DNA leads Homo sapiens to do pull-ups off the edge of a seventh-floor balcony or wrap their lips around a paintball gun and pull the trigger? How about offering a beer to a bear or self-testing a Taser? Why not go joyriding in a shopping cart strapped to an SUV or jump a drawbridge on a bicycle? Fully illustrated with over a hundred new jaw-dropping and side-splitting feats of stupidity—and including science essays by guest writers and answers to FAQs about evolution in action—The Darwin Awards Next Evolution continues the tradition of honoring the victims of appallingly poor survival instinct who selflessly improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
The Darwin Awards: Next Evolution
by Wendy NorthcuttEvolution takes a giant step forward with the fifth edition of the New York Times best selling phenomenon. The human race's most popular humor series returns with a new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, The Darwin Awards Next Evolutionshows how uncommon common sense still is.
The Darwin Awards® Next Evolution
by Wendy NorthcuttAn all-new collection of gene-pool belly flopsMost people don't need a PhD to know that doing chin-ups off the edge of a seventh-floor balcony is a recipe for disaster. Or that it's a bad idea to put a paintball gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Or to think twice before joyriding in a shopping cart strapped to a four-wheel drive. Darwin Award winners lack this basic sound judgement. Named for Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, The Darwin Awards celebrates those who have dived headfirst into the shallow end of the gene pool. From offering a bear a beer to self-testing a Taser to jumping a drawbridge on a bike, The Darwin Awards V: Next Evolution honours these macabre and entertaining feats of hapless misjudgement. Fully illustrated with over a hundred new awe-inspiring tales, including science essays from guest writers and answers to FAQs about evolution in action, The Darwin Awards V: Next Evolution demonstrates how uncommon common sense still is.
The Dastard (The Xanth Novels)
by Piers AnthonyA villain threatens the future of Xanth by erasing the past—and only a teenage dragon-girl can stop him in this fantasy adventure. He calls himself The Dastard—a name he&’s more than earned the right to claim. Having sold his soul for the ability to erase events, he now holds the future of Xanth in his dastardly grip. And the only one capable of foiling his evil plan is a most unlikely hero. The daughter of Draco the Dragon and a human woman, Becka has never been sure if she belongs in the magical world of Xanth. Seeking her true purpose in life from the Good Magician Humphrey, she discovers that she not only belongs in Xanth—but that all of Xanth depends on her!
The Dastard (Xanth #24)
by Piers AnthonyFrustrated farm boy Anomy gives up his soul in return for the ability to unhappen events. Since he uses this power mostly for ill, he adopts the sobriquet the Dastard and becomes a problem. The good guys send a half-dragon, half-human girl, a roc, and the princesses Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm on his trail. Complicating the action in this customarily busy Xanth yarn are the Sea Hag, an insatiably vengeful spirit who possesses the bodies of young women, wears them out, and throws them away; time travel; some intriguing limits to and complexities of magic; the usual word- and concept play; and some serious ethical thinking when the Dastard regains a soul (a borrowed one, not the original). Readers may become impatient with the Adult Conspiracy and the power of panties, devices used on all intergender encounters, at the cost of a good deal of their potential, at least for readers who are already conspiring adults. Roland Green
The Date from Hell: A Novel (Match Made in Hell #2)
by Gwenda Bond"The apocalyptic beach read that everyone needs." - Alix E. Harrow, Hugo Award-winning author on Not Your Average Hot GuyIn The Date from Hell, the sequel to Not Your Average Hot Guy, New York Times bestselling author Gwenda Bond brings the journey of Callie, Luke, and their friends to a wonderful close. This is another laugh out loud, action-packed romantic adventure you won’t want to miss.After saving the world and stopping the apocalypse, Callie and Luke are looking forward to a quiet, romantic weekend together. When you’re human and dating the Prince of Hell, quiet moments are hard to come by. But their romantic weekend in Hell takes a turn when Lucifer tasks Callie and Luke with chasing a wayward soul around the world. If they can prove it’s possible to redeem a soul, Lucifer will allow the two of them to make some changes in Hell.But this wayward soul, Sean, doesn’t have any interest in being redeemed. Instead, now that he’s back on Earth, he’s decided to take a leaf out of Callie and Luke’s book and wants to find the Holy Grail. Now Callie, Luke, and their friends—and enemies—must race Sean around the globe on a Grail quest and bring peace between Heaven and Hell before they can finally (maybe) get around to that date.
The Date to Save
by Stephanie Kate StrohmAfter a scheduling mishap occurs one student tracks how her high school's homecoming game, the academic battle, and class election all ended up on the same day with hilarious results!The word is out...BROOKS MANDEVILLE, quarterback: Friday is the homecoming game and dance. It is a very big deal.NATALIE WAGNER, marching band clarinet: Our band's halftime show performances are legendary, even if our football team isn't. CINTHIA ALVAREZ, Academic Battle team member: Our Academic Battle team has won five years in a row. This Friday, it'll be six.TANNER ERICKSEN, sophomore class candidate for vice president: Holly has to win the election for class president this Friday!HOLLY CARPENTER, cheerleader, Academic Battle team member, class president candidate: Friday? Everything is on Friday? How can I be in three places at once?COLIN VON KOHORN, editor-in-chief of the Prepster: This kind of scheduling incompetence could only have come straight from the top.ANGELICA HUTCHERSON, reporter-at-large: I talked to everyone and my article is going to crack this story wide open...This is what happens on the wildest day in the history of high school!
The Dating Arrangement (Something True #1)
by Kerri CarpenterIn this romantic comedy, an event planner hoping to please her wedding-obsessed mother pretends to date a sexy entrepreneur—then falls for him for real.When a bride falls from a window onto bar owner Jack Wright, he sees it as a sign from above! But event planner Emerson Dewitt is nobody’s bride—much to her society mother’s perpetual disappointment. Then Jack proposes . . . an arrangement. He’ll pose as Emerson’s boyfriend in exchange for her help relaunching his business. It’s a perfect marriage . . . er, partnership. Until all that fake dating turns into some very real feelings . . .
The Dating Dare: A Novel
by Jayci LeeBuzzfeed's 2021 Romance Novels You Need To Read This SummerWith witty characters and heartrending romance, Jayci Lee, author of A Sweet Mess, returns with The Dating Dare—where two people might just find out how hard it is to resist falling in love with the right person.No serious relationships. This is the one rule Tara Park made for herself and it has been working swimmingly, thank you very much. The occasional fling is fine, especially since she’s busy with Weldon Brewery. But when Seth Kim, temptation personified and her best friend’s new brother-in-law walks into her life, Tara might be willing to bend her golden rule…but only for four dates—the four dates she agreed to after a few good rounds of beer and a game of truth or dare. It’ll be fun. No biggie. Seth Kim can’t believe Tara agreed to his dating dare. He’s leaving for a new job in Paris in a month and a no-strings attached fling seemed like a nice little distraction for both… But their secret dates, while sweet and sexy, always hit roadblocks straight out of a romantic comedy. Thankfully, their non-dates and chance meetings are smoother, frequent, and heated. However, the more Seth sees of Tara, the less willing he is to let her go—and what was supposed to be a fun little game turns into something that neither of them are ready for.But sometimes, the best things in life are the ones we never see coming.
The Dating Dare: A new witty and decadent rom-com from the author of ‘A Sweet Mess'
by Jayci LeeIf you love Jasmine Guillory, Lauren Layne and Helen Hoang, you'll devour Jayci Lee's delicious new romantic comedies!Early readers are loving The Dating Dare!'I loved how realistic the main characters were . . . I could honestly see this being made into a movie; one I'd definitely be queuing up to watch' 5* reader review'This book was SO FUN! . . . Seth and Tara are amazing together. Their chemistry was phenomenal and they just bounced right off the page!' NetGalley review'Ooh I enjoyed this one. A great love/hate at the start and its just blossoms . . . the words and story just flow off page, it feels seamless and delightful' NetGalley reviewOne dare. Four dates. Only their hearts to lose...No serious relationships. This is the one rule Tara Park made for herself and it has been working swimmingly, especially since she's busy with Weldon Brewery. But when Seth Kim, temptation personified and her best friend's new brother-in-law walks into her life, Tara might be willing to bend her golden rule . . . but only for four dates, which she agreed to after a few good rounds of beer - and a game of truth or dare. Seth Kim can't believe Tara agreed to his dating dare. He's leaving for a new job in Paris in a month and a no-strings attached fling seemed like a nice distraction for both . . . But while their dates have a tendency to hit roadblocks, their non-dates and chance meetings are becoming frequent - and heated. What was supposed to be a little fun game is turning into something that neither is ready for. But sometimes, the best things in life are the ones we never see coming.Raves for Jayci's A Sweet Mess!'A perfect balance of impeccable wit, laugh out loud hilarity, and off the charts chemistry. A Sweet Mess is a sinfully decadent romantic comedy! Helena Hunting, New York Times bestselling author'A rich, vibrant romance that's a feast for all the senses!' Lauren Blakely, New York Times bestselling author'This book was SO FUN!...Seth and Tara are amazing together. Their chemistry was phenomenal and they just bounced right off the page!' reader review'The words and story just flow off page, it feels seamless and delightful...Lots of drama and a brilliant bumpy road' reader review
The Dating Game
by Sandra FieldA Business Arrangement?Attractive divorcée and single parent Julie Ferris had problems with a succession of men who were interested in her body, not her mind.Successful lawyer Teal Carruthers shared her concerns. A widower with a small son to bring up, he was targeted by every woman he met as a potential husband. Should feelings get in the way-when the solution seemed an obvious one...?
The Dating Game (The Dating Game #1)
by Natalie StandifordMeet sophomores Madison, Holly and Lina. When the Dating Game website that they create forclass becomes a campus hit, they become the match-making masters of their school and, they hope, their lives.Will Madison ever learn how to kiss correctly? Is it okay for Lina to share how far she's gone with her guy with her girlfriends? And how many dates will it take Holly to tell if he's really 'the one'?
The Dating Plan
by Sara DesaiEven with a step-by-step plan, these fake fiancés might accidentally fall for each other in this hilarious, heartfelt romantic comedy from the author of The Marriage Game. Daisy Patel is a software engineer who understands lists and logic better than bosses and boyfriends. With her life all planned out, and no interest in love, the one thing she can't give her family is the marriage they expect. Left with few options, she asks her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancé. Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. When he learns that his inheritance is contingent on being married, he realizes his best friend's little sister has the perfect solution to his problem. A marriage of convenience will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfill the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn&’t broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago… Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimize their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that very little is convenient about their arrangement. History and chemistry aren't about to follow the rules of this engagement.
The Dating Plan: TikTok made me do it! The fake dating rom-com you need
by Sara DesaiOne of GoodReads' Hottest 2021 Romances and a Marie Claire Bookclub Pick!The laugh-out-loud TikTok rom-com starring a high-achieving Desi girl who has to ask her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancéDaisy Patel is a software engineer who understands lists and logic better than bosses and boyfriends. With her life all planned out, and no interest in love, the one thing she can't give her family is the marriage they expect. Left with few options, she asks her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancé.Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. When he learns that his inheritance is contingent on being married, he realises his best friend's little sister has the perfect solution to his problem. A marriage of convenience will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfil the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn't broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago...Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimise their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that very little is convenient about their arrangement. History and chemistry aren't about to follow the rules of this engagement.
The Dating Plan: the one you saw on TikTok! The fake dating rom-com you need (Karen Pirie #15)
by Sara DesaiHer best friend's brother. A broken heart. A fake relationship. The laugh-out-loud TikTok sensation you need this summer! Daisy Patel has her life all planned out, and no interest in love. Her family, however, expect a marriage. Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. Until he realises his inheritance is contingent on being married.A fake marriage will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfil the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn't broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago . . .Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimise their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that this might not be the perfect plan.
The Dating Playbook
by Farrah RochonWhen a personal trainer agrees to fake date her client, all rules are out the window in this "fun, heartfelt, and totally relatable" romantic comedy (Abby Jimenez, NYT bestselling author of Life's Too Short).When it comes to personal training, Taylor Powell kicks serious butt. Unfortunately, her bills are piling up, rent is due, and the money situation is dire. Taylor needs more than the support of her new best friends, Samiah and London. She needs a miracle.And Jamar Dixon might just be it. The oh-so-fine former footballer wants back into the NFL, and he wants Taylor to train him. There's just one catch—no one can know what they're doing. But when they're accidentally outed as a couple, Taylor's game plan is turned completely upside down. Is Jamar just playing to win . . . or is he playing for keeps?PopSugar: Best Summer Reads of 2021BookBub: Best Romance Books of SummerWashington Post: Romance Novels to Read This SummerOprah Daily: Most Anticipated Romances of 2021
The Dating Playbook: A fake-date rom-com to steal your heart! 'A total knockout: funny, sexy, and full of heart'
by Farrah Rochon'A total knockout: funny, sexy, and full of heart' KirkusIf you love Helen Hoang, Abby Jimenez and Talia Hibbert, you'll LOVE Farrah Rochon, whose books are always witty, hot, and engaging (BuzzFeed)!The Boyfriend Project was one of Cosmopolitan's '12 Books You'll Be Desperate to Read This Summer' and one of Oprah Magazine's Best Romances of 2020, and described as 'a prime example of how complex and insightful romances can be' (Jasmine Guillory)What happens when three women discover, thanks to the live tweeting of a disastrous date, that they've all been duped by the same man? They become friends of course!The dating game is on. And the rules just went out the window. When it comes to personal training, Taylor Powell kicks serious butt. Unfortunately, her bills are piling up, rent is due, and the money situation is dire. Taylor needs more than the support of her new best friends, Samiah and London. She needs a miracle. And Jamar Dixon might just be it. The oh-so-fine former footballer wants to get back into the NFL, and he wants Taylor to train him. There's just one catch - no one can know what they're doing. But when they're accidentally outed as a couple, Taylor's game plan is turned completely upside down. Is Jamar just playing to win...or is he playing for keeps?Raves for Farrah Rochon:'Relatable and real... I smiled the whole time I was reading' Andie J. Christopher'The free-spirited, tell-it-like-it-is page-turner you've been looking for!' Kwana Jackson'A multilayered story about friendship, love, and following your dreams - all of it told with heart and emotion' Nalini Singh'Funny, fresh, sexy, and heartfelt. This is my new favorite romance series' Suzanne Brockmann'A smart, funny digital-age romance about real women living in the real world. Couldn't put it down!' Abby Jimenez'A masterpiece of modern-day Jane Austen with effortless, razor-sharp social commentary, romance, and humor. Farrah Rochon is one of the absolute best romance writers today. Period' Kristan Higgins'Swoon-worthy romance, the power of true friendship, and a grand gesture that makes your heart sigh with pure satisfaction. Absolutely a must-read summer romance!' Priscilla Oliveras'Rochon is a romance master who adeptly writes interesting and dynamic characters... A richly layered conflict adds depth and complexity to this charming workplace romance' Kirkus
The Daughter Merger
by Janice Kay JohnsonThe terrible twos are nothing compared to the traumatic teens.David Whitcomb is a good father and once upon a time, his thirteen-year-old daughter Claire adored him. But times have changed and Claire seems intent on running away to live with her mother-a woman who's unable to look after her.In desperation, David turns to Grace Blanchet, the mother of Claire's best friend. Grace agrees to foster Claire while father and daughter work things out. She knows this is what's best for Claire. She's just not sure it's best for her. Does she really want to "play house" with a man who, much as she's attracted to him, reminds her of another man-one she'd prefer to forget?
The Dave Store Massacre
by Ron EbestThe Dave Store is quite possibly the greatest retailenterprise in American history. Selling everything from lawnmowers to Pop Tarts to wine-cask-sized jars of dill pickles,the Dave Store doesn't just dominate the retail market, it isthe retail market. That is, until an employee at an outlet insmall-town Jackson, Missouri launches a wildcat strike. Thencompany owner Dave Blandine, a retail legend known formerciless cost-cutting and a glass eye the size of a doorknob,decides to take a stand against organized labor.He sends his half-witted son and heir, along with themegalomaniacal head of a security company and nine heavilyarmedagents to quell the unrest. They are met by Jackson'ssharp-as-a-blade lady mayor, and its laconic, marijuana-smokingpolice chief who is famous for his two-gunned marksmanship.Standing between these antagonists is the Dave Store'slocal manager, a sycophantic nebbish with a penchant forByronic poetry, and his wife, a 15-year-old girl in a 25-year-oldwoman's body. As the strike deteriorates, both sides reachfor their guns. And the town moves inexorably toward massmurder. But cheer up. It's a comedy.Loosely based on the story of the Matewan massacre--the 1920 shoot-out between striking coal miners and armedstrike-breakers in small-town West Virginia--The Dave StoreMassacre is a satire in an American tradition that extends fromMark Twain and Dorothy Parker to Christopher Buckley andPaul Mooney.