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The Davis Years
by Nicole Green"After graduating from college, Jemma returns to the one place in the world she never thought she'd see again--her hometown of Derring, Virginia. She can't stay away any longer when she realizes her best friend from high school is getting married. Returning home also means seeing Davis again. He broke her heart in high school and she's not sure she's over it yet. She's been thinking about him a lot since she turned down a marriage proposal from her college boyfriend. However, she has a new life now and Davis is a part of the past she's determined to put behind her. Davis knows Jemma can do better than him and he wants her to. So even though his heart nearly stops when he sees Jemma for the first time in six years, he's determined not to get attached to her again for her sake. Trying to ignore what he feels for her isn't his only problem. His two brothers may want to sell the house their dad left all three of them. His brothers abandoned him to their abusive father and now he's sure they only want to come back into his life to take the house away from him. Neither Jemma nor Davis want to fall in love with each other again, albeit for different reasons. However, it's hard for them to fight the forceful attraction that hasn't disappeared over the years. If anything, it's grown stronger."
The Dawn of Time: An Unofficial Graphic Novel for Minecrafters (The Magic Portal #1)
by Cara J. StevensThe first book in an all-new graphic novel series for Minecrafters—The Magic Portal! In a world where combat games are the key to survival, two rivals get accidentally sucked into a portal that brings them back in time to the very beginning of The End. There, they uncover the ancient secrets of an Enderman&’s unusual behavior. In order to get back home and share this valuable knowledge, Keri and Omar must guide the Endermen to carry out their plan to build the End Portal. The problem is, the Endermen aren&’t so keen on following the plans Keri and Omar have laid out for them. In fact, if they&’re not careful, they&’ll find out just how hostile an Enderman can get. Will Keri learn to trust Omar? Can these two enemies find a way to get along long enough to hatch a plan, convince the Endermen to build the End Portal, and return home without making any waves in their future timeline?
The Day I Died
by Cetta De Luca Monica R. Pelà & Paola MarianiOnce, I died. For 12 minutes. So begins the surreal, sometimes ironic, sometimes painful, story of the protagonist. A first-person narrative, a journey back in time to recover those lost 12 minutes. Because time is something precious that belongs to us, and we need to retrieve it. On this voyage, the phobias, compulsions, conscious and unconscious motivations that often drive us to make wrong choices, are revisited. Recovering those 12 minutes is important, as is fixing the past; that abandoned baggage left somewhere that we need in order to move forward with our lives. The star hovers over reality and a dreamlike state among memories, subterfuge, children, cats, guitar players and psychoanalysis, laughter and tears, without respite until reaching her final goal: to discover, under hypnosis, what happened that day when she died for 12 minutes.
The Day I Fell Into a Fairytale: The bestselling classic adventure
by Ben MillerFollowing the breakout successes of The Night I Met Father Christmas and The Boy Who Made the World Disappear, get ready for the brilliant NEW novel from actor, comedian and bestselling author Ben Miller, perfect for fans of Matt Haig and David Baddiel! Featuring beautiful illustrations throughout from Daniela Jaglenka Terrazzini,Lana loves stories. Especially the ones she and her brother, Harrison, share in their make-believe games. But when Harrison decides he&’s too grown-up to play with Lana she finds herself feeling lonely. Until something magical happens… Hidden in the strange new supermarket in town, Lana discovers a portal to a fairytale world! But these aren&’t the happy-ever-after fairytales that Lana knows, they are darker and more dangerous, and the characters need Lana&’s help to defeat an evil witch. But she can&’t do it alone. Can she convince Harrison to believe in stories again and journey to the world with her. . . before it&’s too late? This is a story about stories, but it&’s also about a brother and a sister finding their way back to each other through the power of imagination. Ben Miller is an actor, director, and comedian, best known for writing and starring in The Armstrong and Miller Show and his role as Rowan Atkinson&’s sidekick, Bough, in Johnny English Strikes Back. Other recent big screen roles include What We Did On Our Holiday with Billy Connolly, and the much-loved Paddington 2 with, well, Paddington. On television, he is best known for the crime comedy drama Death In Paradise which has been a big hit worldwide.Praise for The Night I Met Father Christmas: 'A gorgeous tale brimming with the magic of Christmas. A sheer delight for all kids both big AND small.' Ruth Jones, award-winning writer and comedian 'Enchanting, funny and intriguing in equal measure' Philip Ardagh,bestselling author 'You can always tell when a children&’s book has been written by a brilliant father because there&’s a particular intimacy, warmth and mischievous humour that bubbles through it ... irresistible' Alexander Armstrong, presenter, comedian and writer 'A fire-side gem of a story' Abi Elphinstone, bestselling author Praise for The Boy Who Made the World Disappear: 'Fabulous' The Sunday Express 'As children's morality tales go, this is as satisfying as it gets' The Big Issue
The Day I Turned Uncool
by Dan ZevinSooner or later, each of us must face the day we develop a disturbing new interest in lawn care; the day we order sauvignon blanc instead of Rolling Rock; the day we refuse to see any concert where we cannot sit down. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we turn uncool. Dan Zevin, who “was never exactly Fonz-like to begin with,” is having a hilariously hard time moving from his twenties to his thirties, and he confesses everything in these comic not-coming-of-age tales. As he shamefully employs his first cleaning lady, becomes abnormally attached to his dog, and commits flagrant acts of home improvement, Dan’s headed for an early midlife crisis—and a better-late-than-never revelation: Growing up is really nothing to be reluctant about. In fact, it’s very cool.
The Day It Snowed Tortillas / El día que nevó tortilla
by Joe Hayes Antonio Castro L.Kids of all ages are always asking Joe Hayes, "How can it snow tortillas?" Well, now they'll know where to find the answer--at long last, Joe's signature book The Day It Snowed Tortillas is appearing in this new bilingual edition. Bloomsbury Review listed the original English-only edition as one of their fifteen all-time favorite children's books. Our bilingual edition has all the original stories as they have evolved in the last twenty years of Joe's storytelling. It also has new illustrations by award-winning artist Antonio Castro. Storytellers have been telling these stories in the villages of New Mexico since the Spanish first came to the New World over four hundred years ago, but Joe always adds his own nuances for modern audiences. The tales are full of magic and fun. In the title story, for instance, a very clever woman saves her silly husband from a band of robbers. She makes the old man believe it snowed tortillas during the night! In another story, a young boy gladly gives up all of his wages for good advice. His parents think he is a fool, but the good advice leads to wealth and a royal marriage. The enchantment continues in story after story--a clever thief tricks a king for his kingdom and a prince finds his beloved in a house full of wicked step-sisters. And of course, we listen again to the ancient tale of the weeping woman, La Llorona, who still searches for her drowned children along the riverbanks.Joe Hayes is one of America's premier storytellers. He is especially recognized for his bilingual telling of stories from the Hispanic culture of northern New Mexico. Joe lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico and travels extensively throughout the United States, visiting schools and storytelling festivals.
The Day My Butt Went Psycho! (Butts #1)
by Andy GriffithsZack Freeman tells the story of a brave young boy and his crazy runaway butt, a crack butt-fighting unit called the B-team. A legendary Butt Hunter's formidable daughter, and some of the ugliest and meanest butts ever.
The Day My Butt Went Psycho!: Based on a True Story (Andy Griffiths' Butt Series)
by Andy GriffithsA young boy embarks on an epic journey across the land to reclaim his runaway butt in this hilarious beginning to a bestselling trilogy.Zack Freeman is ready to tell his story . . . the story of a brave young boy and his crazy runaway butt. The story of a crack butt-fighting unit called the B-team, a legendary Butt Hunter’s formidable daughter, and some of the ugliest and meanest butts ever to roam the face of the Earth. A story of endurance that takes Zack on an epic journey across the Great Windy Desert, through the Brown Forest, and over the Sea of Butts before descending into the heart of an explosive buttcano to confront the biggest, ugliest, and meanest butt of them all!Praise for The Day My Butt Went Psycho“Griffith’s fun gross-out adventure novel follows Zack Freeman, who awakens to see his rear end leaping out the window to lead a bum rally . . . Young readers will likely get a kick out of it all (there’s even a glossary included).” —Publishers Weekly
The Day My Dog Got Famous
by Jen Carney"Funny, heartwarming and full of characters who become our friends – don’t miss!" LoveReading4KidsA few things you should know about Ferris Foster:1. He’s the cartooning genius behind ASTOUNDOG (star of The Hoot, available exclusively in his school playground)2. His best friend is his actual dog, Aldo who is anything but astounding3. He’s had 13 foster brothers and 8 foster sisters and now he’s about to meet his new foster sister, Tia, for the first time4. His NEMESIS is his totally annoying neighbour Destiny Dean!When Destiny boasts about videos of her dog, Princess Foo-Foo, going viral, Ferris foolishly claims that Aldo can easily become a BIGGER internet star.There's just one problem: Aldo has about as much talent as a teaspoon.Then Ferris and Tia accidentally film Aldo doing what looks like an amazing trick . . . will Aldo finally live up to the name of his comic book alter-ego and wow the world with his skills or is this about to be the biggest EPIC FAIL ever?Perfect for fans of Danny Wallace, Liz Pichon and Katie Kirby - buckle up, you’re in for a dog-tastic adventure, packed with comic strips and cartoons!What people are saying about THE DAY MY DOG GOT FAMOUS:'Funny, heartfelt and inclusive - a brilliant read!' Maisie Chan, author of Danny Chung Does Not Do Maths 'A really fun story with funny illustrations - your kid’s gonna love it!' Lauren Layfield, TV presenter and author of Indi Raye is Totally Faking It'Warm-hearted, accessible and laugh-out-loud funny. It shows that family is bigger than biology - it's about who you love and who you look out for - and there's room for everyone!' Sarah Hagger-Holt, author of Proud of Me "Engaging with fab illustrations. Me and my daughter love Jen's books!" Helen Rutter, author of The Boy Who Made Everyone Laugh
The Day Our Teacher Went Batty
by Gervase PhinnA second collection of poems based on familiar themes.....
The Day Santa Stopped Believing in Harold
by Maureen FergusSanta has a problem. This kid? Harold? Santa doesn't think he's real. He WANTS to believe in Harold--after all, Harold is one of the most magical parts of Christmas. Getting Harold's letters, eating the cookies he leaves out, feeding his carrots to the reindeer... what would Christmas be without that? But Santa's just not sure. Some of his friends are telling him they think Harold's not real. And the Harold that sat on his knee last Christmas looked AWFULLY different. Santa comes up with a plan to find out once and for all if Harold really exists... with hilarious consequences.
The Day Trip
by Stephen W. Cheshire<p>Just when a teenager thinks his life can’t get any better, an alien invasion throws a wrench in the works. And he needed a parent’s signature for this?<p> <p>Girls, guns, and of course some very good friends. Bradley Harrison is your everyday teenager and can’t ask for much more out of high school life. He spends his senior year looking forward to college, scoping out good-looking women, and blowing off steam at the local gun range.<p> <p>However, a trip to the Big Apple is going to change his life forever. An alien species called the Armazoids, way ahead of our time, lands in New York the night before and starts an invasion. Bradley has to guide a small group of people through an infected city.<p> <p>But what happens when the girl he loves, her best friend, another pupil he hates, plus the teacher he despises are kidnapped by the invaders? How does he get them back to Earth? Can he help prevent another invasion in the near future?<p> <p>Find out in . . . The Day Trip. Just when a teenager thinks his life can’t get any better, an alien invasion throws a wrench in the works. And he needed a parent’s signature for this?<p> <p>Girls, guns, and of course some very good friends. Bradley Harrison is your everyday teenager and can’t ask for much more out of high school life. He spends his senior year looking forward to college, scoping out good-looking women, and blowing off steam at the local gun range.<p> <p>However, a trip to the Big Apple is going to change his life forever. An alien species called the Armazoids, way ahead of our time, lands in New York the night before and starts an invasion. Bradley has to guide a small group of people through an infected city.<p> <p>But what happens when the girl he loves, her best friend, another pupil he hates, plus the teacher he despises are kidnapped by the invaders? How does he get them back to Earth? Can he help prevent another invasion in the near future?<p> <p>Find out in . . . The Day Trip.<p>
The Day We Danced in Underpants
by Sarah Wilson Catherine StockAn invitation to picnic with the King of France sends a young boy, his papa, two big dogs, and three wild aunts dancing their way across the French countryside. When the time comes to dine with the royals, Papa's energetic dance moves catch up with him and his worn pants burst at the seams. The stage is set for a wild party that finds even the stuffiest nobles getting down in their unmentionables. Sarah Wilson's uproarious text makes for a boisterous read-aloud, but it's Catherine Stock's hilarious portrayals of cavorting courtiers and gallant guests that will have kids begging for more of this raucous summertime romp. Great spring read-aloud. Reviews"This lesson in kindness and grace in ameliorating an embarrassing situation is one that frown-ups will appreciate, while the joie de vivre of the characters, rhyme, and art will have children-who are always game for an underwear adventure-dancing to the rhythm."-School Library Journal "Kids will enjoy seeing grown-ups embarrassed and acting wacky in spirited and lushly detailed watercolor-and-ink illustrations."-San Francisco Chronicle"...a colorful summertime beat-the-heat story-and what child can resist a story about skivvies."-Kirkus ReviewsJuly/August 2008 summer reading recommendation-Nick Jr. Magazine
The Day of Dog
by Andersen HorneThey came home from a strange journey.... And heroes they might have been—a little dog and a man!
The Day of the Donald: Trump Trumps America
by Andrew ShafferSummer 2018: Two years into President Donald J. Trump's first term in office, America has never been greater. The Even Greater Wall along the Mexican border is under construction, paid for by Mexico. Americans have more money in their pockets thanks to lower taxes and the president's creative money-raising strategies. (Who else would have thought to pay for FEMA's budget by suing the Catholic Church over property damage caused by acts of God?) And while Trump's detractors may call him a tyrant, the American people love bullies when the victim is Congress: every time they impeach the president, his approval rating skyrockets.Ever conscious of his hugely important historical legacy, The Donald plucks disgraced tabloid reporter Jimmie Bernwood—the man responsible for publishing the infamous Ted Cruz sex tape—from the depths of anonymity to become his official biographer, giving him enviable access to the gold-plated White House and all of its secrets.When Trump's previous biographer turns up dead, Bernwood must do some real investigative reporting, get to the bottom of a long series of murders…and, if it's absolutely unavoidable, save the country. The Day of the Donald is a hilariously hair-raising look at the (possible) future of America.
The Day of the Locust (Penguin Modern Classics)
by Nathanael WestIn The Day of the Locust a young artist, Tod Hackett, arrives in Los Angeles full of dreams. But celebrity and artifice rule and he soon joins the ranks of the disenchanted that drift around the fringes of Hollywood. When he meets Faye Greener, an aspiring actress, he is intoxicated and his desperate passion explodes into rage.Penguin Random House Canada is proud to bring you classic works of literature in e-book form, with the highest quality production values. Find more today and rediscover books you never knew you loved.
The Day the Crayons Came Home
by Drew DaywaltThe companion to the #1 blockbuster bestseller, The Day the Crayons Quit!&“Highly anticipated (yes, even for adults)&” —Entertainment Weekly I'm not sure what it is about this kid Duncan, but his crayons sure are a colorful bunch of characters! Having soothed the hurt feelings of one group who threatened to quit, Duncan now faces a whole new group of crayons asking to be rescued. From Maroon Crayon, who was lost beneath the sofa cushions and then broken in two after Dad sat on him; to poor Turquoise, whose head is now stuck to one of Duncan's stinky socks after they both ended up in the dryer together; to Pea Green, who knows darn well that no kid likes peas and who ran away—each and every crayon has a woeful tale to tell and a plea to be brought home to the crayon box.Praise for The Day the Crayons Came Home "Mr. Daywalt&’s text blends with Mr. Jeffers&’s illustrations to make a picture book that will have children clamoring for more crayon adventures."—The Wall Street Journal * "A masterwork of humor and design . . . Sure to be as popular as The Day the Crayons Quit."—Booklist, starred review * "A brilliant, colorful tale that begs to be read aloud and a must-have for all collections."—School Library Journal, starred review * "Once again, Daywalt and Jeffers create rich emotional lives and personalities for their colorful cast, and it&’s hard to imagine a reader who won&’t be delighted."—Publishers Weekly, starred review &“Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers once again offer perceptive and frequently hilarious insights…The Day the Crayons Came Home will have readers of all ages chuckling—and will inspire kids&’ empathy and imagination in equal measure.&”—BookPage Praise for The Day the Crayons Quit The #1 New York Times bestselling phenomenon—over two years on the bestseller list!Winner of the E.B. White Read-Aloud Award Amazon&’s 2013 Best Picture Book of the Year A Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2013 Goodreads&’ 2013 Best Picture Book of the Year * &“Hilarious . . . Move over, Click, Clack, Moo; we&’ve got a new contender for the most successful picture-book strike.&” –BCCB, starred review &“Jeffers . . . elevates crayon drawing to remarkable heights.&” –Booklist &“Fresh and funny.&” –The Wall Street Journal "This book will have children asking to have it read again and again.&” –Library Media Connection * &“This colorful title should make for an uproarious storytime.&” –School Library Journal, starred review * &“These memorable personalities will leave readers glancing apprehensively at their own crayon boxes.&” –Publishers Weekly, starred review &“Utterly original.&” –San Francisco Chronicle
The Day the Crayons Made Friends
by Drew DaywaltThe hilarious Crayons from the #1 New York Times bestselling The Day the Crayons Quit are back for another adventure—and this time they explore Duncan's room. Will they want to leave the crayon box for good after they make new friends?Duncan&’s crayons just can&’t seem to stay put!After convincing one group of crayons to go back to work after they wanted to quit and rescuing another group who got lost in the most inconvenient places, Duncan&’s crayons have disappeared once more.But this time they&’ve gone out into his room to make friends. From Red Crayon who fulfills his dream of driving a firetruck, to Blue Crayon, who meets a fashion doll desperately in need of a head, to fan favorite Esteban, who is off to tame a teddy bear (or as he would call it, a wild beast), each crayon has an exciting story to share about the new objects they&’ve met and the new adventures they&’ve had.The #1 New York Times bestselling team behind the international Crayons sensation have come together to create another clever and hilarious tale that will keep children—and grown-ups—laughing.
The Day the Crayons Quit
by Drew DaywaltThe hilarious, colorful #1 New York Times bestselling phenomenon that every kid wants! Gift a copy to someone you love today. Poor Duncan just wants to color. But when he opens his box of crayons, he finds only letters, all saying the same thing: His crayons have had enough! They quit! Blue crayon needs a break from coloring all those bodies of water. Black crayon wants to be used for more than just outlining. And Orange and Yellow are no longer speaking—each believes he is the true color of the sun. What can Duncan possibly do to appease all of the crayons and get them back to doing what they do best?With giggle-inducing text from Drew Daywalt and bold and bright illustrations from Oliver Jeffers, The Day the Crayons Quit is the perfect gift for new parents, baby showers, back-to-school, or any time of year! Perfect for fans of Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Sciezka and Lane Smith. Praise for The Day the Crayons Quit:Amazon&’s 2013 Best Picture Book of the YearA Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2013Goodreads&’ 2013 Best Picture Book of the Year Winner of the E.B. White Read-Aloud Award* &“Hilarious . . . Move over, Click, Clack, Moo; we&’ve got a new contender for the most successful picture-book strike.&” –BCCB, starred review &“Jeffers . . . elevates crayon drawing to remarkable heights.&” –Booklist&“Fresh and funny.&” –The Wall Street Journal"This book will have children asking to have it read again and again.&” –Library Media Connection* &“This colorful title should make for an uproarious storytime.&” –School Library Journal, starred review * &“These memorable personalities will leave readers glancing apprehensively at their own crayon boxes.&” –Publishers Weekly, starred review &“Utterly original.&” –San Francisco Chronicle
The Day the Ketchup Ran Out
by Bruce R. Thompson[from the back cover] "People in an imaginary town wake up on October the 12th, to find not one bottle of Ketchup on anyone's shelf! Egad!! a world without Ketchup!"
The Day the Kids Took Over
by Sam AppleA James Patterson Presents Picture BookKids can imagine a world where they're in charge -- and ask the grown-ups for help when they need to -- in this adorable and imaginative picture book.The kids have some excellent ideas: turning the Grand Canyon into a ball pit, replacing all the sidewalks with trampolines. But running the world is a tough job. After the kids build a massive house of candy and then immediately eat all of their own furniture, they begin to have second thoughts. Will the kids give the adults one more chance to run the world?
The Day the Screens Went Blank: The Brand-new Comedy Adventure From The Author Of The Day The Screens Went Blank
by Danny WallaceA hilarious middle-grade road-trip adventure from bestselling author, comedian, and presenter Danny Wallace, with illustrations throughout from Gemma Correll. Perfect for fans of Liz Pichon and David Baddiel! When ten-year-old Stella wakes up to discover a world full of BLANK screens, her family, town, and in fact the whole world seems to have been thrown into chaos. And what about poor Grandma who is stranded at the other end of the country? Cue a rollicking madcap road trip, full of driving disasters and family fallouts, as they set off on a rescue mission. And along the way Stella and her family discover that being away from screens might not be the Worst Thing Ever, and even though they might not be able to rely on technology anymore, they can rely on each other instead.Also by Danny Wallace:Hamish and WorldStoppers Hamish and the Neverpeople Hamish and the Gravity Burp Hamish and the Baby Boom Hamish and the Monster Patrol Hamish and the Terrible Terrible Christmas
The Day the Sun Died: A Novel
by Yan LiankeAn unforgettable tale of a village that descends into a sleepwalking spell as the sun threatens to never rise again, by the author of Discovering Fiction.Yan Lianke has secured his place as contemporary China’s most essential and daring novelist, “with his superlative gifts for storytelling and penetrating eye for truth” (New York Times Book Review). His newest novel, The Day the Sun Died—winner of the Dream of the Red Chamber Award, one of the most prestigious honors for Chinese-language novels—is a haunting story of a town caught in a waking nightmare.In a little village nestled in the Balou mountains, fourteen-year-old Li Niannian and his parents run a funeral parlor. One evening, he notices a strange occurrence. Instead of preparing for bed, more and more neighbors appear in the streets and fields, carrying on with their daily business as if the sun hadn’t already set. Li Niannian watches, mystified. As hundreds of residents are found dreamwalking, they act out the desires they’ve suppressed during waking hours. Before long, the community devolves into chaos, and it’s up to Li Niannian and his parents to save the town before sunrise.Set over the course of one increasingly bizarre night, The Day the Sun Died is a propulsive, darkly sinister tale from a world-class writer.A New York Times Book Review Editors’ ChoiceNamed Best Book of the Year at Publishers WeeklyNamed Best Fiction in Translation Selection by Kirkus ReviewsAn Amazon Best Book of the Month“[The Day the Sun Died is] the creepiest book I’ve read in years: a social comedy that bleeds like a zombie apocalypse . . . Yan’s understated wit runs through these pages like a snake through fallen leaves . . . Invokes that fluid dream state in which everything represents something else, something deeper . . . A wake-up call about the path we’re on.” —Ron Charles, Washington Post“Floats between surrealism, sci-fi, horror, and absurdism, while never letting go of its satirical eye. Yet the language and structure of the novel reads more like Samuel Beckett or James Joyce than it does The Handmaid’s Tale.” —Ploughshares
The Days of the King
by Filip FlorianJoseph Strauss (a dentist and bachelor, client of the Eleven Titties brothel and of Der Große Bär beer cellar) leaves Prussia in the spring of 1866 and follows a captain of dragoons to Bucharest, where the officer is to ascend the throne as prince of the United Principalities of Romania. War is imminent in central Europe, but the company of a special tomcat, a guardian angel of sorts, helps him to overcome all dangers. In Bucharest, Joseph will meet and fall in love with an attractive nanny, while the prince distances himself from the dentist, seeking to erase all stains from his past, particularly his involvement with a beautiful blind prostitute. But unbeknownst to him, she has given birth to a baby boy with a suspiciously aristocratic nose . . . Nations are invented and dissolved overnight, kingdoms are for sale, Bucharest grows from a muddy pigsty into an elegant capital city, and love turns everything upside down in The Days of the King.
The De-Textbook: The stuff you didn't know about the stuff you thought you knew
by Cracked. ComYou are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.