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The Dead Guy Interviews: Conversations with 45 of the Most Accomplished, Notorious, and Deceased Personalities in History
by Michael A. StusserThe interviewees in this irreverent book may not have a pulse, but, boy, can they talk! Ever wanted to ask Nostradamus for the winning lotto numbers or van Gogh about the whole ear episode? How about Napoleon about his complex, or if Frida might consider a brow wax? In The Dead Guy Interviews, journalist Michael Stusser has created forty-five interviews with some of the most famous personalities of all time, asking them probing questions about their lives, accomplishments, and what's on their iPods. Based on his column in the acclaimed magazine mental_floss, this collection of conversations is incredibly funny, but each interview is also based on serious research, so in addition to laughing, readers actually learn real history. The Dead Guy Interviewsincludes discussions with: Alexander the Great Beethoven Napoléon Bonaparte Buddha Julius Caesar Caligula George Washington Carver Catherine the Great Winston Churchill Cleopatra Confucius Crazy Horse Salvador Dalí Charles Darwin Emily Dickinson Albert Einstein Benjamin Franklin Sigmund Freud Genghis Khan Vincent van Gogh Henry VIII J. Edgar Hoover Harry Houdini Thomas Jefferson Joan of Arc Robert Johnson Frida Kahlo Leonardo da Vinci Abraham Lincoln Mao Tse-tung Karl Marx Michelangelo Montezuma Mozart Nostradamus Edgar Allan Poe William Shakespeare Sun Tzu Mae West Oscar Wilde
The Dead Janitors Club
by Jeff KlimaIt had been well over a month since I had seen or heard from Dirk, and it was showing in my bank account...I was tempted to start searching for another job. I still had faith, though, that somehow, someway, I was meant for this line of work..."Hello?" I mumbled, not recognizing the number on the caller ID."Jeff, it's Dirk," said the voice. I waited curiously, wondering who the hell Dirk was. "We've got one," he eventually said when I failed to answer.We had never bothered to get together for any sort of training, and now, it was too late.After toiling for minimum wage for years, Jeff Klima got an unexpected offer: to head up a brand new crime scene cleanup company in Orange County. The upside? A chance to make incredible money in a field with no competition. The downside? Everything else about the job.The Dead Janitors Club is an engrossing, hilarious, and morbidly fascinating memoir of life and death, from someone whose life is death. From his first job-where a piece of brain fell off the ceiling and landed in his eye-to having to clean up one of his former neighbors, The Dead Janitors Club is more than just a retelling of crime scenes and what it takes to clean them up. It is a memoir about struggling to survive college, love, life, and keeping one's sanity when one never knows if, the next time the phone rings, you must delve into the darker side of life and death.
The Dead Mountaineer's Inn
by Boris Strugatsky Arkady Strugatsky Jeff Vandermeer Josh BillingsA hilarious spoof on the classic country-house murder mystery, from the Russian masters of sci-fi--never before translated When Inspector Peter Glebsky arrives at the remote ski chalet on vacation, the last thing he intends to do is get involved in any police work. He's there to ski, drink brandy, and loaf around in blissful solitude. But he hadn't counted on the other vacationers, an eccentric bunch including a famous hypnotist, a physicist with a penchant for gymnastic feats, a sulky teenager of indeterminate gender, and the mysterious Mr. and Mrs. Moses. And as the chalet fills up, strange things start happening--things that seem to indicate the presence of another, unseen guest. Is there a ghost on the premises? A prankster? Something more sinister? And then an avalanche blocks the mountain pass, and they're stuck. Which is just about when they find the corpse. Meaning that Glebksy's vacation is over and he's embarked on the most unusual investigation he's ever been involved with. In fact, the further he looks into it, the more Glebsky realizes that the victim may not even be human. In this late novel from the legendary Russian sci-fi duo--here in its first-ever English translation--the Strugatskys gleefully upend the plot of many a Hercule Poirot mystery--and the result is much funnier, and much stranger, than anything Agatha Christie ever wrote.From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Dead Romantics
by Ashley PostonA Good Morning America Book Club Pick!"I LOVED this book! ...Funny, breathtaking, hopeful, and dreamy.&”—Ali Hazelwood, New York Times bestselling author of The Love Hypothesis"One of the Summer's Hottest Reads"—Entertainment WeeklyA disillusioned millennial ghostwriter who, quite literally, has some ghosts of her own, has to find her way back home in this sparkling adult debut from national bestselling author Ashley Poston.Florence Day is the ghostwriter for one of the most prolific romance authors in the industry, and she has a problem—after a terrible breakup, she no longer believes in love. It&’s as good as dead. When her new editor, a too-handsome mountain of a man, won't give her an extension on her book deadline, Florence prepares to kiss her career goodbye. But then she gets a phone call she never wanted to receive, and she must return home for the first time in a decade to help her family bury her beloved father. For ten years, she's run from the town that never understood her, and even though she misses the sound of a warm Southern night and her eccentric, loving family and their funeral parlor, she can&’t bring herself to stay. Even with her father gone, it feels like nothing in this town has changed. And she hates it. Until she finds a ghost standing at the funeral parlor&’s front door, just as broad and infuriatingly handsome as ever, and he&’s just as confused about why he&’s there as she is. Romance is most certainly dead . . . but so is her new editor, and his unfinished business will have her second-guessing everything she&’s ever known about love stories.
The Dead of Winter (Thieves' World®)
by Diana L. Paxson Janet Morris Diane Duane Robin Wayne Bailey C.J. Cherryh andrew j. offuttThe dead rise in the seventh volume of the shared-world fantasy, co-edited by the New York Times–bestselling author of the Myth Adventures series. As winter descends on the fractured city of Sanctuary, it&’s expected that the rainy season will cool the air. But tensions are simmering. The Emperor is dead, and the rightful heir to the throne is in town. The city is a battlefield, and armed factions war for control of the streets. While the Rankan Empire faces a crisis, the original Stepsons have returned to take back what is theirs. And then there is the matter of a witch and an army of undead . . . Things are heating up in this action-packed world of sword and sorcery. Prepare yourself for adventure in this shared-world anthology featuring stories by some of fantasy&’s best authors, including Janet Morris, C. J. Cherryh, Diane Duane, Robin W. Bailey, Andrew Offutt, Diana L. Paxson, Lynn Abbey, and Robert Lynn Asprin.
The Deadly Experiments of Dr. Eeek: Escape From The Carnival Of Horrors; Tick Tock You're Dead; Trapped In Bat Wing Hall; The Deadly Experiments Of Dr. Eeek (Give Yourself Goosebumps #4)
by R.L. StineEnter the labs of a mad scientist and choose your fate in this scary GOOSEBUMPS adventure that’s packed with more than twenty super-spooky endings.Top secret and dangerous. That’s what your mom, a famous scientist calls, the research she’s been doing at the labs of Dr. Eeek. You’re dying to know what it’s all about.Then one day you get lost in the labs. Before you know it, you’ve become a human guinea pig in Dr. Eeek’s deadly experiments!If you choose one lab, you meet a dog wearing sneakers. He’s half dog, half kid. And now he’s after you!If you choose another lab, you get lost in a maze-a maze that just happens to be the home of an enormous rat! The choice is yours . . . Reader beware—you choose the scare! GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS!
The Deal
by Peter LefcourtWashed-up Hollywood producer Charlie Berns has mailed in his updated obit and is about to suck his Mercedes tailpipe and fade to black when a miracle materializes: his nephew, a wannabe screenwriter from New Jersey, has scripted the life story of Queen Victoria's prime minister Benjamin Disraeli, which Charlie manages to turn into a hot property that reinstates him as a player. But as the deal heats up, a few conceptual changes morph the project into Lev Disraeli: Freedom Fighter, an action thriller with a black Jewish superstar, a Yugoslavian location, a mad Polish director, and even a real-life kidnapping. Is Charlie Berns being eaten alive by the system? Or is he giving the Hollywood hotshots a run for their money? Peter Lefcourt's hilarious satire proves the old adage that in Hollywood you're never quite as dead as people give you credit for.
The Death (and Further Adventures) of Silas Winterbottom: The Body Thief
by Stephen GilesAnd you thought your family was strange. I am dying. . . I might get the chance to know you before death takes me...I would like you to be my guest at Sommerset. . .I have enclosed a check for $ 10,000. . . Should you accept my offer... Uncle Silas has always been greedy, evil, insulting, and extremely rich! But a dying uncle with a vast fortune is definitely one worth getting to know. Even if it means spending 2 months on his secluded island home with a houseful of suspicious servants and a hungry pet crocodile. But what is Uncle Silas really up to? Will Adele, Milo, and Isabella outlive Uncle Silas to inherit his money? And just who is that mysterious "guest" in his basement? Is it worth the money (or their lives) to stick around and find out?
The Death Swing at Falcon Lake: and S'more Summer Stories to Make You Poop Your Pants
by Jeremy JohnA hilarious, heartwarming, and sometimes bone-chilling collection of summer stories to share around a campfire, in a tent, or on the dock.Time to hit the road: the minivan is packed, the cooler is chock full, and the lake beckons. Summer is the perfect setting for sharing short stories at the cottage, around the campfire, in the tent, or on the long ride to camp.The Death Swing at Falcon Lake has a story for every occasion. There are epic tales of neighbourhood battles over the best fort, harrowing myths of the bravery it takes to walk to the outhouse in the dark, embarrassing recounts of first love at summer camp, and maybe even a legend about the monster watching you from the shadows while you read this very book.Raconteur Jeremy John delivers another hilarious, heartfelt, and occasionally scary collection of short stories ideal for summer reading.Praise for Jeremy John:Jeremy John is a master of putting himself into the mindset of a kid and capturing the magic and mystery of a good scary tale. [The Strange Grave of Mikey Dunbar] collection of short stories is easy to read and best read in the dark with a flashlight. Pay Chen, TV & radio hostA fun read for all ages. And a little off the hinge in all the right places. Tarzan Dan, host of Q107 Calgary
The Death of an Owl: From the author of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, a witty tale of scandal and subterfuge
by Paul Torday Piers TordayPolitical chaos, MPs turning on each other, expediency and skulduggery at the highest echelons of government? No, not Brexit, but a brilliant political satire from the bestselling author of SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMENAndrew Landford, MP is driving home one night along a dark country lane when a barn owl flies into his windscreen. It is an accident, nothing more. But Andrew sits on a parliamentary committee concerned with the protection of endangered species, and the death of the owl threatens to destroy his hopes of reaching No. 10. Also in the car is Andrew's old Oxford friend and political adviser, Charles Fryerne. Will they be able to keep the crime under wraps, or will circumstances conspire against them? Paul Torday's last novel, and completed by his son Piers, this is a timely reminder that in politics, nothing is sacred...'A pleasure to read' Daily Express'Skeweringly accurate' Evening Standard'A compelling blend of morality and satire' Sunday Mirror'Witty and well-crafted - a delightful gothic fantasy' Guardian
The Death of an Owl: From the author of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, a witty tale of scandal and subterfuge
by Paul Torday Piers TordayAndrew Landford is driving home one night, along a dark country lane, when a barn owl flies into his windscreen. It is an accident, nothing more. However Andrew is in line to be the country's next prime minister. And he has recently been appointed to a parliamentary committee concerned with the Wildlife and Countryside Act. Barn Owls are protected species, and it is a crime to kill one. If Andrew acknowledges that he has killed the owl, he could be risking his political career.With Andrew in the car is his old Oxford friend and political adviser, Charles Fryerne. An expert in communications, Charles has just joined the team that is masterminding Andrew's route to the Tory Party leadership, and from there to No 10 Downing Street. He has spent many years quietly building up a very successful career as a strategist. But the death of the owl threatens to destroy not only Andrew's career, but everything that Charles has worked for too. Should they come clean, or hide the story and hope it goes away?
The Death of an Owl: From the author of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, a witty tale of scandal and subterfuge
by Paul Torday Piers TordayBrought up in Switzerland, the only son of well-to-do parents, Charles Fryerne is somewhat unprepared for the world he meets when he goes up to Oxford University in the early 1980s. There he meets a fascinating social set, including a stellar young playwright, a student dubbed 'the future leader of the Conservative party' and a mercurial figure with ambitions to become the youngest prime minister since Pitt. When they leave university, the characters go their separate ways. But as Charles's career as a journalist takes off, he finds himself once more in their orbit and observes at first hand the price of ambition, and the inner workings of the political machine. And when the country's future leader accidentally hits an owl on a country road, there are difficult choices to be made...DEATH OF AN OWL is a satire on political expediency and spin from the author of SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN.(p) 2016 Orion Publishing Group
The Debt Collector
by Stanley MorganRuss Tobin lives in a boarding house with odd flatmates, works as a debt collector for a credit company, and longs for a better life somewhere else. This is the story of how his new life came about.
The Debt to Pleasure
by John LanchesterWinner of the Whitbread Award for Best First Novel and a New York Times Notable Book, The Debt to Pleasure is a wickedly funny ode to food. Traveling from Portsmouth to the south of France, Tarquin Winot, the book's snobbish narrator, instructs us in his philosophy on everything from the erotics of dislike to the psychology of the menu. Under the guise of completing a cookbook, Winot is in fact on a much more sinister mission that only gradually comes to light.
The Debutante: A Novel
by Kathleen TessaroA brilliant, unforgettable novel by the New York Times bestselling author of The Perfume Collector.Can the secrets of one woman's past change another woman's future?Cate Albion is a gifted young artist at a crossroads in her life. Looking to escape New York for the summer, she takes a job in her aunt's London auction house and is soon sent on assignment to the English countryside to value the contents of Endsleigh House, the once gracious but now crumbling estate of a former Jazz Age socialite. There, hidden in the back of a dusty bookshelf, Cate discovers an old shoebox, and inside, a peculiar assortment of objects, including an exquisite pair of 1930s dancing shoes; a faded photograph of a handsome young sailor, and a rare Tiffany pearl and emerald bracelet.Intrigued, Cate sets out to learn more about the box and its contents, and becomes immersed in the mystery of its owner, Diana “Baby” Blythe, the younger of the infamous, glamorous Blythe sisters. Bright, beautiful, and reckless, Baby was the most famous debutante of her generation . . . until she suddenly disappeared entirely from view. As a shocking tale of love and betrayal begins to unravel, Cate finds herself being drawn deeper into Baby's tragic life story—one that will force Cate to confront some dark truths about her own choices.
The December Deception
by Dana VolneyA little holiday magic brings two workaholic legal eagles together in this delightful Christmas tale.The only case high-powered lawyer Henry Hale has on his docket this Christmas is the bah humbugs he’s trying to fight off. To cope with a houseful of loving but overexuberant family and all the good cheer running amuck in his life, he just might need help from an unlikely source. His star employee, Lorelei Sullivan, jumps at the unexpected chance to join Henry’s family events, even if she has only been invited as a buffer. What better way to cap off a stellar year than with a chance to prove she’s partner material and move her career to the next level? Baking cookies, card games, shopping for gifts—nothing is an imposition if it leads to making her case. But when the relationship between Henry and Lorelei begins to spark from legal to loverly, both of their plans start coming unwrapped. They’ll need more than a little holiday spirit to help them get this court in order. Sensuality Level: Behind Closed Doors
The Decent Proposal: A Novel
by Kemper Donovan“A moving love letter to Los Angeles and a thoughtful rumination on what people can mean to one another.” —Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times–bestselling author of Daisy and the Six A struggling Hollywood producer, Richard Baumbach is twenty-nine, hung-over, and broke. Ridiculously handsome with an innate charm and an air of invincibility, he still believes good things will come his way. At thirty-three, Elizabeth Santiago is on track to make partner at her law firm. Known as “La Máquina” The Machine—to her colleagues, she’s grown used to avoiding anything that might derail her quiet, orderly life. Richard and Elizabeth’s paths collide when they receive a proposal from a mysterious, anonymous benefactor. They’ll split a million dollars if they agree to spend at least two hours together—just talking—every week for a year. Astonished and more than a little suspicious, they each nevertheless say yes. Richard needs the money and likes the adventure of it. Elizabeth embraces the challenge of shaking up her life a little more. Both agree the idea is ridiculous, but why not?What ensues is a delightful journey full of twists, revelations, hamburgers, classic literature, poppy music, and above all love, in its multitude of forms. “Delightful . . . a page-turning tale brimming with heart.” —Booklist, starred review “Artful and arresting.” —Library Journal“Smart and observant..” —Shelf Awareness“A romantic tale with a heart and a brain—and a mystery that will keep you turning the pages.” —W Magazine
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody: Great Figures Of History Hilariously Humbled
by Will CuppyA New York Times–bestselling, comical take on world history from the beloved New Yorker humorist. So, you think you know most of what there is to know about people like Nero and Cleopatra, Alexander the Great and Attila the Hun, Lady Godiva and Miles Standish? You say there&’s nothing more to be written about Lucrezia Borgia? How wrong you are, for in these pages you&’ll find Will Cuppy footloose in the footnotes of history. He transforms these luminaries into human beings, not as we knew them from history books, but as we would have known them Cuppy-wise: foolish, fallible, and very much our common ancestors. When it was first published in 1950, The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody spent four months on The New York Times bestseller list, and Edward R. Murrow devoted more than two-thirds of one of his nightly CBS programs to a reading from Cuppy&’s historical sketches, calling it &“the history book of the year.&” The book eventually went through eighteen hardcover printings and ten foreign editions, proof of its impeccable accuracy and deadly, imperishable humor.
The Decomposition of Jack
by Kristin O'Donnell TubbAward-winning author Kristin O’Donnell Tubb delivers a funny and poignant middle grade contemporary novel about family and friendship as Jack deals with his parents’ divorce while also searching for a mysterious cougar in the Tennessee hills. Perfect for fans of Leslie Connor and Lynda Mullaly Hunt. A Junior Library Guild Selection!Middle school is always hard, but when you’re known as the Roadkill Kid, well, it’s even harder. Jack’s mom collects roadkill—it’s her job, and she’s very good at it. Ever since Jack’s mom and dad got divorced, Jack has stepped into the role of Mom’s co-scientist.One day while tending to the roadkill garden, Jack believes he spots a cougar in the wilderness beyond his backyard. A cougar in Tennessee? They’re supposed to be extinct. So, when Jack has to choose an animal to research for his Earth Science class, he picks cougar.As pressure mounts on Jack to complete his project and to be Mom’s business partner, the mystery of the cougar feels too big to solve. Jack knows what the decomposition of an animal—and a family—looks like, so can he figure out how to bring them back to life?
The Deconstruction of Professor Thrub
by D. D. JohnstonA dopamine-enhanced PORTERHOUSE BLUE ... raw and unexpurgated humour ... such a determinedly extraordinary book.' - The Morning Star. A biting comedy of love, desperation and existence THE DECONSTRUCTION OF PROFESSOR THRUB offers a thrilling ride into the world of a major new writer. A young student tracks the biography of Elsie Stewart from her job as a London maid and to the Spanish Civil War. The story hurtles back into the maelstrom of Ukrainian revolutions, while the narrator is caught in the academic anguish of his university supervisor, the sublimely comic Professor Thrub. True love is tough too, as a young poet leads him through Europe on her own wayward quest. This is a novel that explodes with ideas and characters and events. It's a brazen campus comedy, a medical drama, a radical romp through modern philosophy and twentieth century history, and a cheery ride through the nature of the Scottish Highlands. 'A great book. And very, very funny.' - Georgina Godwin, Monocle Radio.
The Decorator Who Knew Too Much (A Madison Night Mystery #4)
by Diane VallereThis interior decorator is an expert in midcentury modern—and murder . . . “An extremely unique mystery series with an intelligent heroine” (Kings River Life Magazine). When Madison Night accepts an assignment in Palm Springs with handyman Hudson James, she expects designing days and romantic nights. But the shock of spotting a body in the river near the job site—and the strain of recurring nightmares and a growing dependency on sleeping pills—has her seeking professional help to deal with her demons. She learns more about the crime than she’d like, thanks to girl talk with friends, pillow talk with Hudson, and smack talk with the local bad boys. And after the victim is identified as the very doctor she’s been advised to see, she wonders if what she knows can help catch a killer . . . “If you love Doris Day, you’ll love Madison Night.” —Books for Avid Readers “Vallere has a wonderful touch, bringing in the design elements and influences of the ’50s and ’60s era many of us hold dear while keeping a strong focus on what it means in modern times to be a woman in business for herself, starting over.” —Fresh Fiction “[An] enjoyable series.” —Catriona McPherson, Agatha Award–winning author
The Decoy Girlfriend
by Lillie ValeA laugh-out-loud funny and whip-smart romantic comedy from the author of The Shaadi Set-Up, about a young woman who takes the place of her celebrity doppelgänger, and must fake-date the actress&’s sexy costar boyfriend.Writer Freya Lal has a huge secret: she's a dead ringer for It-girl actress Mandi Roy. Her second novel is due in a month, but inspiration is nowhere to be found. Desperate to shake off her writer's block, Freya leans into her look-alike abilities and indulges in some mistaken identity for simple perks, like scoring a free mimosa or getting into a trendy nightclub. Actor Taft Bamber appears to have it all: gorgeous, talented, and Mandi's love interest both on- and off-screen. But what nobody knows is that their relationship is a PR stunt, and after years of playing make-believe, he's yearning for something real. When Freya's latest impersonation of Mandi goes viral thanks to Taft's accidental interference, rumors of a breakup threaten Hollywood's golden couple. To make amends, Freya is forced to give Mandi a little time off: she'll pretend to be the actress for a month, move in with Taft, and squash the rumors by acting completely in love. But as Freya and Taft play house, it becomes impossible to ignore that their instant chemistry isn't just for the cameras. While faking it, they might have just found the real thing.
The Deep Deep Puddle
by Mary Jessie ParkerYoung puddle jumpers will delight in this silly Seuss-like fantasy about a puddle that keeps on growing. How deep can it get? So deep that soon enough, glub glub glub, the entire city sinks out of sight, only to reappear later with everything in disarray. This ingenious urban counting tale will engage young ones learning their numbers, as well as older readers who will enjoy the overlying story and the breezy artwork.
The Deep Whatsis
by Peter MatteiThe Deep Whatsis follows a brilliant antihero staggering into madness as he navigates among Brooklyn hipsters, advertising tyrants, corporate hypocrisy, and the ghosts of his past. Meet Eric Nye: player, philosopher, drunk, sociopath. A ruthless young Chief Idea Officer at a New York City ad agency, Eric downsizes his department, guzzles only the finest Sancerre, pops pills, and chases women. Then one day he meets Intern, whose name he can't remember. Will she be the cause of his downfall, or his unlikely awakening? A gripping and hilarious satire of the inherent absurdity of advertising and the flippant cruelty of corporate behavior, The Deep Whatsis shows the devastating effects of a world where civility and respect have been fired.
The Deeper Meaning of Liff: A Dictionary of Things There Aren't Words for Yet
by Douglas Adams John LloydThe updated, revised edition of "The Meaning of Liff".