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The Diva’s Guide to Selling Your Soul

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. . . Call me V. I used to be a nobody, just a girl from New Jersey who was probably going to hell anyway -- or worse, mediocrity and a size 14. Now I get whatever I desire just by casting a little spell. . . . a flawless body, a luxury penthouse, and a Fifth Avenue shop where rich women clamor for my overpriced handbags. Even better, I have power. I can taunt my ex-husband, break hearts without guilt, and love every minute of it. My secret? I lost the one thing I neverneeded in the first place: my soul. I sold it. And you'll never guess who's got it now. She's a devil in disguise. You know her as the dishiest gossip columnist in the city's trashiest tabloid. I call her Lucy. And our deal is this: the more clients I recruit for her Life Enrichment Program, the greater my rewards. But just between us, my fast track to heartless apathy has hit a few speed bumps -- lately, I've had the totally annoying impulse to do things that are. . . good. First there was rescuing a kid in the park. Then there was the date with the handsome, decent guy who wasn't even a celebrity. What's next, giving to charity or something? All I know is Lucy doesn't like it, not one little bit. And when she finds out, there will be hell to pay. . .

The Divine Comedy

The Divine Comedy is a fugue and a black comedy. In delicious and bawdy detail, an unnamed narrator offers snapshots into the lives and loves of an astonishing cast of philanderers and fuckups while along the way, the evidence amasses for a comic, cosmic conspiracy. Craig Raine's second novel, The Divine Comedy, is a voyeuristic meditation on sex and insecurity, God and the nature of the human body—its capacity for pleasure and pain, its desires, disappointments, and its many mortifying betrayals.

The Divine Comedy, Hell

The Divine Farce

"A Dante/Beckett reduction of human struggle to its lowest common denominator."--Michael Mirolla, author of The Formal Logic of Emotion and Berlin"One of the most original and thought-provoking stories I have ever read...true literary art...Not a word is wasted in this masterpiece. Yes, I call it that. I have read many classics, and I can tell you that The Divine Farce should be counted among them; the finest in American literature."--GeekscribeThree strangers are condemned to live together in darkness, crushed together in a concrete stall so small that they can never sit down. Liquid food drips down from above. Waste drains through a grid on the floor. So begins one of the strangest, most surreal comments on the human experience, on love and hatred and the human ability to find good in any situation, no matter how difficult. Michael S. A. Graziano delights in the macabre and surreal, yet it is his optimism that lifts this little novel. Like The Love Song of Monkey, this book is deeply thought provoking, horrifying, and funny.Praise for The Love Song of Monkey:"Imaginative, intelligent narrative. Twin ideas of forgiveness and mercy twist through this strange, moving, patiently wrought novel."--Publishers Weekly"Fabulously imagined, seriously considered, and very funny. A kind of fairytale antithesis on the meaning of existence. . . . Fantastic."--Spirituality and Health Books"Strange but wonderful . . . like nothing I've read before. A very short book, but the scope is epic in detail. . . . I enjoyed the heck out of this book."--Geekscribe"Should be required reading in the writing grad schools. . . . There's nary a word wasted. What's left is comedy, retrospection, betrayal, tenderness, meditations on loneliness, a love story that survives all attempts to suppress it . . . not bad within 149 pages."--Barnstable PatriotMichael S. A. Graziano, Princeton University neuroscientist, is the author of the novella Hiding Places (New England Review, 1997), the novel The Love Song of Monkey (Leapfrog Press, 2008), and The Intelligent Movement Machine (Oxford University Press, 2008).

The Divorce Diet

"Revenge is sweet. Reinventing yourself is even sweeter." --Cathy LambAbigail is sure the only thing standing between her and happiness is the weight she gained along with her beloved new baby. Until she instantly loses 170 pounds of husband.When Thad declares that "this whole marriage thing" is no longer working, a shell-shocked Abigail takes her infant daughter, Rosie, and moves back to her parents' house. Floundering, she turns to an imaginary guru and best friend, the author of her new weight-loss book. But surviving heartache, finding a job, and staying sane as a suddenly single new mom isn't easy, especially on a diet--sorry, life journey. Make an inventory of your skills, Abigail's guru instructs. Abigail loves cooking and preparing food--real food, not the fatless, joyless dishes her diet prescribes, or the instant-frozen-artificially flavored fare she finds in her mother's kitchen. So far, following everyone else's rules has led to being broke, lonely, and facing a lifetime of poached eggs, faux mayonnaise, and jobs in chain restaurants. What might happen if Abigail followed her own recipe for a good life instead?... Bitingly funny, wise, and insightful, Ellen Hawley's fresh new novel is an ode to food and self-discovery for any woman who's ever walked away from a relationship--or a diet--to find what true satisfaction is all about. "Food and love and loss and resilience--and a terrific narrative playfulness--are Hawley's recipe for a slyly entertaining and heartening novel." --Daniel Menaker, author of The Treatment

The Divorce Papers

Witty and wonderful, sparkling and sophisticated, this debut romantic comedy brilliantly tells the story of one very messy, very high-profile divorce, and the endearingly cynical young lawyer dragooned into handling it. Twenty-nine-year-old Sophie Diehl is happy toiling away as a criminal law associate at an old line New England firm where she very much appreciates that most of her clients are behind bars. Everyone at Traynor, Hand knows she abhors face-to-face contact, but one weekend, with all the big partners away, Sophie must handle the intake interview for the daughter of the firm's most important client. After eighteen years of marriage, Mayflower descendant Mia Meiklejohn Durkheim has just been served divorce papers in a humiliating scene at the popular local restaurant, Golightly's. She is locked and loaded to fight her eminent and ambitious husband, Dr. Daniel Durkheim, Chief of the Department of Pediatric Oncology, for custody of their ten-year-old daughter Jane--and she also burns to take him down a peg. Sophie warns Mia that she's never handled a divorce case before, but Mia can't be put off. As she so disarmingly puts it: It's her first divorce, too. Debut novelist Susan Rieger doesn't leave a word out of place in this hilarious and expertly crafted debut that shines with the power and pleasure of storytelling. Told through personal correspondence, office memos, emails, articles, and legal papers, this playful reinvention of the epistolary form races along with humor and heartache, exploring the complicated family dynamic that results when marriage fails. For Sophie, the whole affair sparks a hard look at her own relationships--not only with her parents, but with colleagues, friends, lovers, and most importantly, herself. Much like Where'd You Go, Bernadette, The Divorce Papers will have you laughing aloud and thanking the literature gods for this incredible, fresh new voice in fiction.

The Divorcee Said Yes! (The Wedding of the Year #2)

Three Brides, three grooms-and they all meet atTHE WEDDING OF THE YEARAnnie and Chase Cooper were reunited, reluctantly, for their daughter Dawn's wedding. But when Dawn got cold feet about her honeymoon, Chase had an idea. It was important that his daughter and her new husband should start life together believing love never dies, so why didn't he and Annie pretend they were reconciled? Just for a while...Enjoy the rekindled passion that sizzles between Annie and Chase. Is this to be the reconciliation of the year? Find out-in this, the second story in Sandra Marton's enthralling trilogy!

The Do-Gooder

A college girl tries to make up for her bad karma by doing one good deed for anyone willing to ask—a witty, sweet romance perfect for fans of Christina Lauren and Abbi Glines.Lara Montgomery is no good. Having been scorned by her classmates since high school, she’s used to it. From where she’s sitting, the one with more notches on the bedpost has more fun anyway. At least, that’s what she tells herself. Really, a small part of her hopes that her massive amounts of bad karma can be neutralized by wearing her Do-Gooder hat—that thing she does where she’ll complete one good deed for anyone who asks. And she does an amazing job at it, if she does say so herself. Still, there’s one thing she knows she can’t make better, no matter how many problems she solves for other people: on the night her brother died, she was off hooking up with his not-so-single best friend, Fletch. It’s been three years since that night, and Fletch just wants her to let it go. To him, her persistence with the good deeds only serves to remind everyone in their small university town about what they did. As it is, they can’t help but get into a heated argument every time they run into each other on campus. And yet, neither of them can seem to stop that pesky electricity that runs between them whenever they get too close….

The Do-Over

Sometimes dreams come true. Other times, the best outcome begins with an epic fail.Career-driven McKenna Keaton has devoted her life to attaining the senior partnership at her law firm. So asking a man on a date should be nothing. But the past four days have been the worst of her life and have called everything she thought she knew about herself into question. Besides, she can&’t remember her last real date—one that didn&’t involve using a blind date as an opportunity to get a stranger&’s perspective on effective cross-examination techniques. (It&’s like sharing fondue with a jury!)But a real date? And with shy, nerdy Henry Blumenthal—McKenna&’s high school rival for valedictorian who once took three hours to beat her at chess? Scratch that. He&’s Hank Blume now, the famed documentarian, Durham&’s darling son, who has attained all his dreams and more. He also happens to look like he stepped out of an Eddie Bauer catalog.Whereas McKenna is a disgraced workaholic from New York on unpaid leave, accused of a white-collar crime she would never commit, succumbing to panic attacks, watching her dreams unravel. At age thirty-eight—and destined by the family curse to die before she turns forty, it appears—it&’s absolutely the wrong time to have a major crush on a man. Especially one who treasures his memories of McKenna as the girl Most Likely to Succeed.&“Pitch-perfect comedic timing, a relatable heroine, and a refreshing sweetness elevate this novel above the sea of modern rom-coms. The rare author who can make me laugh-out-loud, The Do-Over is Bethany Turner at her best.&” —Lauren Layne, New York Times bestselling author&“Bethany Turner has crafted a delightful, witty story with zippy dialogue, warmly relatable characters, and hilariously apt pop culture references. I found myself sneaking off to read just one more chapter. I&’m still smiling thinking about this book. Reading it felt like eating a big bowl of Lucky Charms mixed with Fruity Pebbles. A colorful explosion of happy.&” —Rachel Linden, bestselling author of The Enlightenment of BeesWitty and sweet contemporary romantic comedyStand-alone novelBook length: 99,000 wordsAlso by Bethany: Plot TwistIncludes discussion questions for book clubs

The Do-Over

A New York Times Bestseller In this &“unequivocally hilarious and delightful&” (Kirkus Reviews) young adult romp for fans of Recommended for You and A Cuban Girl&’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow, a teen girl has the worst Valentine&’s Day ever—only to relive it over and over again. After living through a dumpster fire of a Valentine&’s Day, Emilie Hornby escapes to her grandmother&’s house for some comfort and a consolation pint of Ben & Jerry&’s. She passes out on the couch, but when she wakes up, she&’s back home in her own bed—and it&’s Valentine&’s Day all over again. And the next day? Another horrendous V-Day. Emilie is stuck in some sort of time loop nightmare that she can&’t wake up from as she re-watches her boyfriend, Josh, cheat on her day after day. In addition to Josh&’s recurring infidelity, Emilie can&’t get away from the enigmatic Nick, who she keeps running into—sometimes literally—in unfortunate ways. How many times can one girl passively watch her life go up in flames? And when something good starts to come out of these terrible days, what happens when the universe stops doling out do-overs?

The Do-Over

FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF BETTER THAN THE MOVIES!Emilie has the worst Valentine&’s Day ever—only to relive it over and over again. Perfect riotous romantic YA fiction where 50 First Dates meets Groundhog Day. After living through a dumpster fire of a Valentine&’s Day, Emilie escapes to her grandmother&’s house for some comfort and a consolation pint of Ben & Jerry&’s. She passes out on the couch, but when she wakes up, she&’s back home in her own bed—and it&’s Valentine&’s Day all over again. And the next day? Another nightmare V-Day. Emilie is stuck in some sort of time loop nightmare that she can&’t wake up from as she re-watches her boyfriend, Josh, cheat on her day after day. Not only that but Emilie can&’t get away from the enigmatic Nick, who she keeps running into—sometimes literally—in unfortunate ways. How many days can one girl passively watch her life go up in flames? And when something good starts to come out of these terrible days, what happens when the universe stops doling out do-overs?Pre-order Nothing Like the Movies, the swoony sequel to Better than the Movies and don't miss out on Betting on You from Lynn Painter!

The Do-Over: A Novel

From the author of the “genuinely funny” and “delightful” Loathe at First Sight (NPR) and “cinematic, charming” So We Meet Again (Emily Henry), a fun rom-com about a young Korean-American woman having to return to college after discovering she’s a few credits shy of completing her degree—only to find one of her TAs is her old college boyfriend.Bestselling author Lily Lee is on a short deadline to deliver her new career guide How to Land the Perfect Job, and she’s been interviewing at all the top companies around town. But when she’s offered a coveted position at her dream company, the employer’s background check reveals she never actually finished her college degree. Unbelievably, her worst nightmare has come true.Lily returns to her alma mater to relive her senior year of college, after walking across the stage at graduation a decade earlier. Just as she starts getting used to the idea of being a student again, things get even more weird and chaotic when she discovers her computer science TA is her old college boyfriend, Jake Cho. As Lily and Jake reconnect, she sees that her late-blooming ex has done well for himself: the handsome, charming grad student appears to have his life together, while Lily’s on the brink of losing her reputation and her book deal. Told in present day with glimpses of the past, The Do-Over is a delightfully warm and hopeful story about second chances in life and love, and how the future might not be a straight line, but we still end up exactly where we’re supposed to be.

The Doctor and Mr. Right: A Single Dad Romance (Rx for Love #8)

A prescription the doctor never knew she needed!Michelle Kearns has a simple credo she lives by: no domestic complications! But the Jackson Hole obstetrician's "no kids" rule is tested to the max when she meets her sinfully handsome new neighbor. Because there's just one thing wrong with the heart-meltingly perfect construction engineer: his teenage daughter!Gabe Davis can't quite understand the sexy doctor next door. After all, Michelle's life revolves around babies. And the willowy blonde beauty is a natural with Gabe's young daughter. Doesn't Michelle realize that family is what it's all about? Try as she might, she can't ignore the sparks igniting between them. It couldn't be a more ideal prescription...for happy ever after!

The Doctor's Christmas Bride: The Doctor's Christmas Bride The Nurse's Wedding Rescue (Lakeside Mountain Rescue #1)

First in the series featuring three siblings who risk their lives—and hearts—in pulse-pounding medical romances from the USA Today–bestselling author.Consultant doctor Bryony Hunter is determined to fulfill her little girl’s wish—a daddy for Christmas. She is certain there must be someone out there who can answer the call, but time is running out.Jack Rothwell is a wonderful doctor in a busy Emergency department—and Bryony’s partner on the mountain rescue team. He is also a committed bachelor and has no time for a serious relationship . . . or so he thinks. But when he realizes Bryony is resolute in her plans to find a man, Jack decides to help out in his own special way.Praise for Sarah Morgan“A masterful storyteller.” —Booklist“Jane Green meets Sophie Kinsella.” —Jill Shalvis, New York Times–bestselling author“Escapist fiction at its absolute best, full of warmth, humour and heart.” —Katie Marsh, author of Unbreak Your Heart

The Doctor's Christmas Gift

Christmas—a time for families?Love and family have never been in Dr. Catherine Lewis'scareer plan. But by working with Dr. Matt Fielding in hispractice by day and playing with him and his twobeautiful daughters by night, Catherine experienceseverything she'd thought she never wanted. Until, asChristmas approaches, she is torn between choosingthe independent life she'd planned—or taking therisk of a lifetime in Matt's loving arms….

The Doctor's Forever Family (Forever, Texas #3)

Big-city radiologist Dan Davenport is ready to take New York by storm. But when an accident robs him of the most important person in his life, he decides to honor his brother by taking his place as the town physician in Forever, Texas-temporarily. He's never been fond of commitment, but when he meets a beautiful young mother struggling to get back on her feet, he reconsiders.Tina Blayne can't afford to open her heart to another man, especially one itching to leave town at the first opportunity. Yet when she begins working at Dan's clinic, she realizes the doctor's got wounds of his own...wounds that require her special brand of healing.

The Doctor's Guardian (The Doctors Pulaski #7)

He first saw Dr. Nika Pulaski hyperventilating in a trapped elevator. Ever the rescuer, Detective Cole Baker felt an instant protectiveness...and sizzling want. Her cheerfulness, not to mention her killer looks, had him reconsidering his loner status. But he couldn't trust her, the prime suspect in a rash of hospital deaths.Who was Nika Pulaski? She outlasted her colleagues at the hospital and spent every minute caring for others. But patients were dying. With every tear she shed, Cole couldn't mask his own emotions, this pull toward a potentially dangerous woman. He raced to find the killer stalking Nika's patients, even if it was the woman he loved. Was she an optimistic healer or a sociopath?

The Doctor's Longed-For Family

From playboy doctor to a very special husbandSparks fly when Dr. Matt Calder comes to the busy pediatric emergency department.Charismatic, revered and notorious, he’s captured the hearts of many—but not Dr. Abby Byford’s.But then Abby discovers the real Matt Calder, who is lovingly caring for his niece and nephew—and she instantly falls in love. As Abby supports him and the children, Matt discovers why this wonderful woman is so reluctant to allow love into her life. He knows he must convince Abby that whatever challenges she faces he can give her all the love and family she needs.

The Doctor's Outback Baby

The English doctor's temporary assignmentWhen a new and very English doctor, Timothy Morgan, strolls into Tennengarrah on a temporary assignment, nurse Clara Watts finds her life running out of control. In the scorching heat of the Outback Clara and Tim are thrown together in life-or-death situations, and find themselves hurtling toward an exciting affair. What will happen when Clara discovers she's pregnant?Let Carol Marinelli take you on a roller coaster of exciting medical drama and deep, heartfelt emotions.

The Doctor's Rescue

After an act of heroism, a doctor’s broken body needs healing—and so does his heart . . .GP Dr. Will Cooper had rescued a toddler from a busy road, but ended up hospitalized himself, with a broken arm and leg—and a beautiful stranger, Dr. Mallory Ryman, by his bed. Mallory had been climbing in the area and was the first doctor at the scene.Now Will is asking Mallory to live in his house so she can care for him until he recovers! But Mallory has no idea that her stay will force Will to confront some past traumatic events—nor that their mutual attraction is about to develop into an all-consuming passion. . . .

The Doctor's Royal Love-Child (Brides of Penhally Bay #5)

Dedicated vet Melinda Fortesque has a secret.One she's kept from gorgeous doctor Dragan Lovak even though she's given him her heart. Now duty is calling her, and she knows she must tell him the truth about who she really is.It's enough of a shock for Dragan to learn that the woman he trusted and fell in love with is royalty! And that HRH Melinda has been called back to her country to take the throne. But now he's learned that she's carrying his child! How can be possible let her go?

The Doctor's Tender Secret

Emotions are running high in the city hospital!On the hectic Pediatrics' ward of London City General, love just isn't running smoothly for Dr. Brad Hutton and Dr. Zoe Kennedy.They may have been instantly smitten with each other, but the secrets they have kept locked away make their future together uncertain.For Brad, the solution lies in putting his past behind him. But Zoe's secret goes a lot deeper, and to reveal it all she needs to find the courage to trust Brad completely. Only then can their powerful feelings win out….

The Dog

***LONGLISTED FOR THE MAN BOOKER PRIZE 2014***The author of the best-selling and award-winning Netherland now gives us his eagerly awaited, stunningly different new novel: a tale of alienation and heartbreak in Dubai. Distraught by a breakup with his long-term girlfriend, our unnamed hero leaves New York to take an unusual job in a strange desert metropolis. In Dubai at the height of its self-invention as a futuristic Shangri-la, he struggles with his new position as the "family officer" of the capricious and very rich Batros family. And he struggles, even more helplessly, with the "doghouse," a seemingly inescapable condition of culpability in which he feels himself constantly trapped--even if he's just going to the bathroom, or reading e-mail, or scuba diving. A comic and philosophically profound exploration of what has become of humankind's moral progress, The Dog is told with Joseph O'Neill's hallmark eloquence, empathy, and storytelling mastery. It is a brilliantly original, achingly funny fable for our globalized times.From the Hardcover edition.

The Dog Book

Excerpts: * Homer's Odysseus' ancient faithful dog Argos is the only one to recognize him when he returns from the Trojan War after twenty years. Now neglected and covered in fleas, Argos lay on a dung heap by the stables, but pricked up his ears at his master's approach, wagging his tail and dropping his ears. Odysseus saw Argos but is in disguise and cannot greet him, shedding a hidden tear for the loyal hound. * When French forces took the town of Niort during the Hundred Years War' in 1373, a famous writer of the time saw an old dog lying on the grave of its master, who had died in battle with the English. The dog refused to leave the grave and the Duke de Berry, who was greatly moved by such devotion, arranged for the dog to receive a pension of ten francs for life, which was delivered to a neighbor to feed the animal until it died. * In 1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt gave a speech in response to a Republican claim that he had sent a destroyer to pick up his dog Fala from the Aleutian Islands at great cost: "These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. Well, of course, I don't resent attacks, and my family don't resent attacks, but Fala does resent them. You know, Fala is Scotch, and being a Scottie, as soon as he learned that the Republican fiction writers in Congress and out had concocted a story that I'd left him behind on an Aleutian island and had sent a destroyer back to find him--at a cost to the taxpayers of two or three, or eight or twenty million dollars -- his Scotch soul was furious. He has not been the same dog since." * Chips was a German Shepherd-Collie-Husky mix who served with the Third Infantry Division during World War II. When Chips and his handler (Pvt John P. Rowell) were pinned down by a machine-gun nest, Chips stormed into the pillbox, grabbed one of the Italian soldiers and forced the other four to leave the pillbox, where they surrendered to U.S. troops. Later that day, he assisted in the capture of ten soldiers. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross, the Silver Star, and the Purple Heart. But these were later taken away as awards to animals were "contrary to Army policy." Nevertheless his own unit awarded him (unofficially) with a Theater Ribbon and eight campaign Battle stars.

The Dog Dialed 911: A Book of Lists from the Smoking Gun

The most hilarious and outrageous true stories collected in 10 years (almost) of the world's funniest investigative reporting. Proof that truth really is stranger than fiction! This wildly entertaining book features excerpts from a wide array of public documents--court transcripts, FBI files, contract riders, morgue and police reports, etc.--that hilariously illuminate some of the most important, scandalous, or bizarre news stories to make headlines in recent years. The brilliant creators of the highly popular Web site TheSmokingGun.com have combed their archives to produce a book that will make readers laugh, and laugh again, on virtually every page.