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The Error of Our Ways: A Novel

New York Times Notable Book: &“The sorrows of Job [visit] a St. Louis nut salesman, with hilarious results . . . [A] wry updating of the biblical tragedy&” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review). In this &“astute, entertaining novel,&” two very different men cross each other&’s paths in St. Louis, Missouri (The New York Times). Ben Hudnut is an upper-middle-class entrepreneur determined to bring an affordable cashew to American consumers. When he isn&’t pursuing this goal, he&’s usually in the company of his wife and four daughters—occasionally joined for family dinner by his dull but devoted secretary. Jeremy Cook, meanwhile, is a cynical unemployed academic, a linguist who doesn&’t know what to do with himself—until he&’s pressured into studying Ben Hudnut&’s baby girl and her unusual speech patterns. But as different as these two men are, they will soon have one thing in common, as both of their lives begin to fall apart around them . . . &“A dark domestic comedy that traces the perils of middle-aged manhood, told with attentiveness to the subtleties of communication.&” —The New York Times Book Review &“Witty, good-natured, and completely convincing: Carkeet has managed, with sympathy and charm, to trace the exceptional adventures of an utterly ordinary man.&” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) &“A shrewd, wickedly funny delight, full of hilarious takes on rocky marriages, sexual boredom, raising kids, communication gaps—and nutty doings, as in almonds and cashews . . . A delectable observer of human foibles and pretense.&” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events #6)

<P>In their most daring misadventure, the Baudelaire orphans are adopted by very, very rich people, whose penthouse apartment is located mysteriously close to the place where all their misfortune began. Even though their new home in the city is fancy, and the children are clever and charming, I'm sorry to say that still, the unlucky orphans will encounter more disaster and woe. <P>In fact, in this sixth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the children will experience a darkened staircase, a red herring, an auction, parsley soda, some friends in a dire situation, a secret passageway, and pinstripe suits. <P>Both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted, A Series of Unfortunate Events offers an exquisitely dark comedy in the tradition of Edward Gorey and Roald Dahl. Lemon Snicket's uproariously unhappy books continue to win readers, despite all his warning.

The Escape Diaries

Introducing the hilarious new heroine, Mazie Maguire, in Juliet Rosetti's irresistible debut novel that follows the outrageous adventure of a woman on the run. Wrongly convicted of killing her philandering husband, Mazie Maguire is three years into her life sentence when fate intervenes--in the form of a tornado. Just like that, she's on the other side of the fence, running through swamps and cornfields, big box stores and suburban subdivisions. Hoping to find out who really murdered her husband, Mazie must stay a few steps ahead of both the law and her mother-in-law, who would like nothing better than to personally administer Mazie the death penalty via lethal snickerdoodle. With the Feds in hot pursuit and the national media hyping her story, Mazie stumbles upon a vast political conspiracy and a man who might just be worth a conjugal visit--if she survives. Includes a special message from the editor, as well as excerpts from these Loveswept titles: The Devil's Thief, Paradise Café, and The Perfect Catch.

The Escape Manual for Introverts

Trapped in an airplane seated next to a chatterbox? Are you hosting a dinner party with people who just won't leave? Katie Vaz has the key to your escape. The Escape Manual for Introverts guides readers through different scenarios with themed chapters ("Friends," "Relatives," "Strangers," etc.). Each chapter covers a range of situations, from an invitation to karaoke night to group lunchtime. And she offers a number of escapes for each scenario: bringing odoriferous foods to lunch for a while, having a pet (real or imagined) that "requires" frequent check-ins, and even investing in a jet pack. This book features Vaz's full-page illustrated spreads, hand-lettering, and spot illustrations. From the silly to the sincere, Vaz's clever, hilarious escape plans and bizarre excuses speak to the introvert in all of us.

The Escapement: The Engineer Trilogy: Book Three (Engineer Trilogy #3)

'When so many fantasy sagas are tired, warmed-over affairs, a writer like K.J. Parker is more of a hurricane than a breath of fresh air.' - Dreamwatch'This is grown-up fantasy blessed with humour, intelligence and... panache. A bravura display of intricate storytelling and artfully-doled-out revelations.' - SFXCondemned to death, the engineer Ziani Vaatzes escaped from Mezentia. His implacable determination to return home led him to contrive an intricate plan to bring down the Republic, a plan which require a war. He regrets the deaths. But he had no choice.Duke Valens dragged his people into the war to save the life of one woman. Then he killed her husband. Now, allied to the nomadic barbarians who have the manpower to defeat Mezentia, the Duke regrets the evil he's done. But he had no choice.Secretary Psellus never wanted to rule the Republic, or fight a desperate siege for its survival. Trying to make sense of how it all happened, he finds himself compelled to investigate the circumstances of Vaatzes' crime. He is terrified of what he might find out, but he has no choice.The machine has been built. All that remains is to set it in motion.The stunning conclusion to The Engineer Trilogy - a fast-moving mix of politics, action and intelligent world-building - that continues to push the boundaries of fantasy fiction.Books by K.J. Parker:Fencer TrilogyThe Colours in the SteelThe Belly of the BowThe Proof HouseScavenger TrilogyShadowPatternMemoryEngineer TrilogyDevices and DesiresEvil for EvilThe EscapementSaloninusBlue and GoldThe Devil You KnowTwo of SwordsThe Two of Swords: Part 1The Two of Swords: Part 2The Two of Swords: Part 3NovelsThe CompanyThe Folding KnifeThe HammerSharpsSavagesSixteen Ways to Defend a Walled CityMy Beautiful Life

The Essential Book of Useless Information

More facts! Less substance! The newest entry in the #1 New York Times bestselling Useless Information series. The useless information never ends in the newest, most crucially meaningless entry in the Useless Information series. This latest cornucopia of amazingly pointless facts and figures will have trivia buffs marveling at all the things they never needed to know.

The Essential Compendium of Dad Jokes: The Best of the Worst Dad Jokes for the Painfully Punny Parent: 301 Jokes!

The Essential Compendium of Dad Jokes features 301 wonderfully cringe-worthy dad jokes—including the classics, twists on the classics, and fresh new material.For the first time ever, the best of the worst dad jokes are compiled in one pun-filled place. With original illustrations throughout, this extensive collection is sure to provide hours of silliness for the whole family. After all, no matter how groan-inducing dad jokes are, they will always have a special place in the joke arsenal.• Contains dozens of interesting tidbits, joke-telling pointers, and profiles of legendary dad jokers• Features jokes from "I'm on a seafood diet , , , I see food and I eat it" to "I used to hate facial hair . . . but now it's growing on me"• Great for fathers, patient mothers, tolerant children, and anyone else who loves a punThey make us cringe, chuckle, and roll our eyes, but we all love a wonderfully corny dad joke.The Essential Compendium of Dad Jokes is so bad it's good, ensuring loads of laughter for the whole family. • A hilarious book for dads and dads at heart, as well as pun and dumb joke lovers• Add it to the collection of books like 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes by Elias Hill, Jokes Every Man Should Know (Stuff You Should Know) by Don Steinberg, and Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Dad Jokes by Share The Love Gifts

The Essential Dave Allen

When Dave Allen passed away in March 2005, we lost a true comedy great. Sitting cross-legged on a high stool, whiskey in one hand, cigarette in the other, Dave Allen's exasperated commentaries on the absurdities of modern life struck a chord with millions of fans in Britain, Ireland and Australia for over four decades. He was a compelling storyteller - able to spin shaggy dog stories out of the almost any subject, including the missing tip of his fourth finger of his left hand, for which he provided various unlikely explanations. But his gentle, laconic wit could also give way to ferocious attacks on the media, the state and, most famously, the Catholic Church. He was a unique talent - a comic who could make his audiences laugh, cry, and be shocked, all in one.This official celebration of Dave Allen's comedy has been drawn together by Graham McCann - Britain's best-loved entertainment writer. It is a treasure trove of stories, stand-up routines, sketches, interviews and photos, which takes us on a journey from the cradle to the grave. It will delight Dave Allen's million of fans, old and new alike.'Dave Allen was our greatest storyteller and nobody ever came close to his ability to spin a yarn. He was unique, right up there with the greats.' Jack Dee

The Essential Dave Allen

When Dave Allen passed away in March 2005, we lost a true comedy great. Sitting cross-legged on a high stool, whiskey in one hand, cigarette in the other, Dave Allen's exasperated commentaries on the absurdities of modern life struck a chord with millions of fans in Britain, Ireland and Australia for over four decades. He was a compelling storyteller - able to spin shaggy dog stories out of the almost any subject, including the missing tip of his fourth finger of his left hand, for which he provided various unlikely explanations. But his gentle, laconic wit could also give way to ferocious attacks on the media, the state and, most famously, the Catholic Church. He was a unique talent - a comic who could make his audiences laugh, cry, and be shocked, all in one.This official celebration of Dave Allen's comedy has been drawn together by Graham McCann - Britain's best-loved entertainment writer. It is a treasure trove of stories, stand-up routines, sketches, interviews and photos, which takes us on a journey from the cradle to the grave. It will delight Dave Allen's million of fans, old and new alike.'Dave Allen was our greatest storyteller and nobody ever came close to his ability to spin a yarn. He was unique, right up there with the greats.' Jack Dee

The Essential Max Brooks

"Brooks [is] America's most prominent maven on the living dead...Gripping reading." --Hartford CourantThis collection, available exclusively as an ebook, brings together two New York Times bestselling titles from Max Brooks: The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, The Zombie Survival Guide is the key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. In World War Z, Brooks delivers an invaluable chronicle of the Zombie War, told in the haunting and riveting voices of the men and women who witnessed the horror firsthand.

The Essential Wit of the World's Funniest People

This compendium of timeless wit includes jokes, aphorisms and observations from Dorothy Parker, George Carlin, Franz Kafka, Bill Murray, and many others.We’ve all heard the saying, “Everyone’s a comedian.” While that may be true, let’s face it—not everyone is funny. And even fewer are truly witty. As Daniel Bukszpan puts it in his introduction to this volume, witty saying have the ability to relate “something truthful about mankind’s folly in a matter of just a few words.” That truth-telling is the common factor that unites this collection of jokes, asides, aphorisms, and observations from some of the wittiest individuals in history. Here you’ll find everyone from W.C. Fields to H.L. Mencken, and from Margaret Cho to Ralph Waldo Emerson, offering pithy insights on subjects such as money, religion, romance, popular culture—and everything in between.

The Essex Joke Book

WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings EssexForget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen.What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe?Last year’s hide-and-seek champion.What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels.An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says.‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl.The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’

The Estate: A Novel

Hailed by the authorites as `the future of housing', The Estate in south London was opened with a flourish by the Lord Mayor of London in the late 1960s. The six 20-storey tower blocks were seen as the new way forward for community life in London. However, within a matter of weeks it had all started to go wrong as racial tensions built up and families of ethnic minorities clashed. Based on true stories, THE ESTATE is a novel based around 11 different families living side by side in The Estate, and their perceptions of it. We find out how the Indion family, the gypsies, the gay couple and the landlord of the local pub all deal with new homes and the dynamics of a multi racial community. Building up to a finale at The Estate's Christmas party, this is a poignant and funny account of how life really treated the occupants of the tower blocks.

The Ethical Swordsman (Tales of the King's Blades)

In the final adventure in the King&’s Blades series, one of the Blades is asked to go undercover to hunt down a possible threat to the crown of Chivial. Niall&’s father raised him to be a man of his word, and Niall has tried to live that way throughout his life, even during his training to become a Blade. But things have changed. King Ambrose has died. His daughter, Malinda, is now queen and behaving suspiciously. When she makes Niall Prime of the Blades, he is asked to swear an oath to protect her—and then is made a spy. Now Niall faces a mission that challenges everything he believes and must place his life on the line for a leader he&’s not certain he can trust . . . Praise for Dave Duncan &“Dave Duncan is one of the best writers in the fantasy world today. His writing is clear, vibrant, and full of energy. His action scenes are breathtaking, and his skill at characterization is excellent.&” —Writers Write&“Duncan excels at old-fashioned swashbuckling fantasy, maintaining a delicate balance between breathtaking excitement, romance, and high camp in a genre that is very easy to overdo.&” —RT Book Reviews

The Europeans

The Evening Hero

A sweeping, lyrical novel following a Korean immigrant pursuing the American dream who must confront the secrets of the past or risk watching the world he&’s worked so hard to build come crumbling down.Dr. Yungman Kwak is in the twilight of his life. Every day for the last fifty years, he has brushed his teeth, slipped on his shoes, and headed to Horse Breath&’s General Hospital, where, as an obstetrician, he treats the women and babies of the small rural Minnesota town he chose to call home. This was the life he longed for. The so-called American dream. He immigrated from Korea after the Korean War, forced to leave his family, ancestors, village, and all that he knew behind. But his life is built on a lie. And one day, a letter arrives that threatens to expose it. Yungman&’s life is thrown into chaos—the hospital abruptly closes, his wife refuses to spend time with him, and his son is busy investing in a struggling health start-up. Yungman faces a choice—he must choose to hide his secret from his family and friends or confess and potentially lose all he&’s built. He begins to question the very assumptions on which his life is built—the so-called American dream, with the abject failure of its healthcare system, patient and neighbors who perpetuate racism, a town flawed with infrastructure, and a history that doesn&’t see him in it. Toggling between the past and the present, Korea and America, Evening Hero is a sweeping, moving, darkly comic novel about a man looking back at his life and asking big questions about what is lost and what is gained when immigrants leave home for new shores.

The Ever After

Most people aren't very comfortable in the woods, but the woods of Briery Swamp fit May Bird like a fuzzy mitten. There, she is safe from school and the taunts and teases of kids who don't understand her. Hidden in the trees, May is a warrior princess, and her cat, Somber Kitty, is her brave guardian. Then May falls into the lake. When she crawls out, May finds herself in a world that most certainly does not feel like a fuzzy mitten. In fact it is a place few living people have ever seen. Here, towns glow blue beneath zipping stars and the people -- people? -- walk through walls. Here the Book of the Dead holds the answers to everything in the universe. And here, if May is discovered, the horrifyingly evil Bo Cleevil will turn her into nothing. May Bird must get out. Fast. Within these pages, Jodi Lynn Anderson shares with us the beginning of May Bird's daring journey into the Ever After, a haunting place where true friends -- and one terrible foe -- await her on every corner.

The Everything Big Book of Jokes: Hundreds of the Shortest, Longest, Silliest, Smartest, Most Hilarious Jokes You've Never Heard! (Everything® Series)

Have you heard the one about...You'll laugh yourself silly with The Everything Big Book of Jokes! Inside this sidesplitting collection, you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian, including:Short jokes, one-liners, and punsJokes about spouses, in-laws, kids, and grandparentsOffice and sports jokesAnimal humorClassics, including "Guy walks into a bar..." blonde jokes, priest and rabbi jokes, even knock-knock jokes Filled with countless gags, giggles, and guffaws, this book is sure to tickle your funny bone--and make you the life of the party!

The Everything Box: A Novel

Reminiscent of the edgy, offbeat humor of Chris Moore and Matt Ruff, the first entry in a whimsical, fast-paced supernatural series from the New York Times bestselling author of the Sandman Slim novels--a dark and humorous story involving a doomsday gizmo, a horde of baddies determined to possess its power, and a clever thief who must steal it back . . . again and again.22000 B.C. A beautiful, ambitious angel stands on a mountaintop, surveying the world and its little inhabitants below. He smiles because soon, the last of humanity who survived the great flood will meet its end, too. And he should know. He's going to play a big part in it. Our angel usually doesn't get to do field work, and if he does well, he's certain he'll get a big promotion.And now it's time . . . .The angel reaches into his pocket for the instrument of humanity's doom. Must be in the other pocket. Then he frantically begins to pat himself down. Dejected, he realizes he has lost the object. Looking over the Earth at all that could have been, the majestic angel utters a single word."Crap."2015. A thief named Coop--a specialist in purloining magic objects--steals and delivers a small box to the mysterious client who engaged his services. Coop doesn't know that his latest job could be the end of him--and the rest of the world. Suddenly he finds himself in the company of The Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome enforcement agency that polices the odd and strange. The box isn't just a supernatural heirloom with quaint powers, they tell him.It's a doomsday device. They think . . .And suddenly, everyone is out to get it.

The Everything Guide to Comedy Writing (The Everything )

A guy walks into a bar...With this guide, aspiring comics will learn to navigate the complex world of comedy writing. Discover how to tap into your natural sense of humor through real-life examples and hands-on skill-building exercises. Learn the best ways to come up with ideas and write comedy that gets laughs--every time! Mike Bent, an accomplished stand-up comedian and teacher, provides the inside scoop on techniques to jump-start your comedy writing career, including how to:Develop comic characters for sketches and scenesCreate and polish a standup routineWrite for TV and moviesUse the web to advance your comedy careerEveryone loves a comedian. But breaking into this tough field is no laughing matter. After sharpening your comedy-writing skills with this practical (and funny!) guide, you'll feel comfortable adding humor to everyday situations and may even take a chance on your dream job in show business!

The Everything Kids' Gross Jokes Book

If you're up for some side-splitting and stomach-churning laughs, grab The Everything Kids' Gross Jokes Book as fast as you can! It's packed with hundreds of one-liners and knock-knocks to make you turn green! Make your way through sick sections such as: The Gross-Store; There's Grime in My Slime!; Everybody Oozes; Who Among Us Is a Fungus?; Dead Fly Pie; and many more! Chock full of puzzles, games, and activities, The Everything Kids' Gross Jokes Book scores a perfect 10 on the Gross-o-meter!

The Everything Kids' Joke Book

Kids love to tell jokes, and with The Everything Kids' Joke Book, they'll never be at a loss for a good one. Inside, they'll learn: the world's seven best limericks; monster jokes; nickname games; cowboy jokes; light bulb jokes; knock-knock jokes; and hundreds more! And if they ever stop laughing, they can take a humor quiz to see how strong their funny bone really is! Not only does The Everything Kids' Joke Book provide kids with an endless supply of good clean jokes, but it also offers tips on how to tell jokes, how to deliver a punch line, and how to get laughs from family and friends!

The Everything Kids' Joke Book: Side-Splitting, Rib-Tickling Fun

A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

The Everything Kids': Joke Book

The Everything "RM" Kids' series is being relaunched at a phenomenal new price! They're the same great quality you've come to expect, still packed with tons of activities and puzzles in two-color -- now with a lower price that everyone can appreciate!Stock up on these perennial bestsellers that keep your kids active and engaged. The wide scope of subject material -- from jokes to science experiments -- appeals to kids all across the country. And parents and teachers love that the books provide responsible, educational information, while being so much fun that the kids love learning!From discovering why a sunset is red, to becoming a young entrepreneur, to learning new jokes to keep the whole family laughing, kids really love these Everything "RM" Kids' books!

The Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum: With Lovable, Furry Old Grover (Pictureback(R))

Illustrations in color. The fuzzy Sesame Street puppet tours The Small Hall, The Carrot Room, and other unusual exhibits in a unique museum.