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The Good, the Bad, and the Goofy (Time Warp Trio #3)
by Jon Scieszka Lane SmithThe magic of The Book transports Joe, Sam, and Fred back in time to the Wild West where they are stampeded by a herd of crazed cattle, almost poisoned by trail chow, and suffocated by the odor of cows.
The Good, the Bard and the Ugly: A funny, modern take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from the Bafta-winning Horrible Histories writer
by Susie Donkin'I can wholeheartedly confirm that Susie Donkin is funnier than Shakespeare' MEL GIEDROYC'Impeccably researched, contagiously enjoyable, highly recommended.' BRIAN COXImogen thinks she knows what Shakespeare's most famous plays are all about. Everyone does, right? Star-crossed lovers. Naughty Greeks getting up to mischief in the woods. Scottish kings losing their minds. Young men with daddy issues. Dads who just need some positive affirmation from their daughters*. (*Okay, that's maybe putting it a bit mildly) But when Imogen brings 14 amateur actors together to perform one of the Bard's great works in a bid to save their local community centre, it becomes apparent that she - or anyone who reads this book for that matter - will never see Shakespeare's greatest works in the same light again . . ."BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin makes Shakespeare's greatest works even greater." Stan Lafski, Imogen's uncle "A very funny book. Would definitely not have been as funny if it was about Christopher Marlowe." Larry Fairfoul, troupe member
The Good, the Bard and the Ugly: A funny, modern take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from the Bafta-winning Horrible Histories writer
by Susie Donkin'I can wholeheartedly confirm that Susie Donkin is funnier than Shakespeare' MEL GIEDROYC'Impeccably researched, contagiously enjoyable, highly recommended.' BRIAN COXImogen thinks she knows what Shakespeare's most famous plays are all about. Everyone does, right? Star-crossed lovers. Naughty Greeks getting up to mischief in the woods. Scottish kings losing their minds. Young men with daddy issues. Dads who just need some positive affirmation from their daughters*. (*Okay, that's maybe putting it a bit mildly) But when Imogen brings 14 amateur actors together to perform one of the Bard's great works in a bid to save their local community centre, it becomes apparent that she - or anyone who reads this book for that matter - will never see Shakespeare's greatest works in the same light again . . ."BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin makes Shakespeare's greatest works even greater." Stan Lafski, Imogen's uncle "A very funny book. Would definitely not have been as funny if it was about Christopher Marlowe." Larry Fairfoul, troupe member
The Good, the Bard and the Ugly: A funny, modern take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from the Bafta-winning Horrible Histories writer
by Susie DonkinA hilarious, irreverent take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin.Imogen thinks she knows what Shakespeare's most famous plays are all about. Everyone does, right? Star-crossed lovers. Naughty Greeks getting up to mischief in the woods. Scottish kings losing their minds. Young men with daddy issues. Dads who just need some positive affirmation from their daughters*. (*Okay, that's maybe putting it a bit mildly) But when Imogen brings 14 amateur actors together to perform one of the Bard's great works in a bid to save their local community centre, it becomes apparent that she - or anyone who reads this book for that matter - will never see Shakespeare's greatest works in the same light again . . ."BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin makes Shakespeare's greatest works even greater." Stan Lafski, Imogen's uncle "A very funny book. Would definitely not have been as funny if it was about Christopher Marlowe." Larry Fairfoul, troupe member(P)2023 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Goomba Diet: Living Large and Loving It
by Steven R. SchirripaHey, goomba! Are you on the Goomba Diet? Do you need to be?• Do they put up crime scene tape after you visit the buffet table?• Is the air freshener in your car a slice of provolone?Stop crying! The Goomba Diet is here—the dolce vita diet that shows you how to eat more, drink more, laugh more, live more, and feel great while you’re doing it. The Goomba Diet offers sensible weight-loss tips for the guy who’s gone too far:• Touch your toes. If this is difficult, pay a guy to do it for you.• Walk to court.It also offers helpful maintenance tips for the goomba who’s the perfect weight and wants to stay that way:• Try an appetite suppressant. Try eating at Applebee’s. • Pick up something heavy. Get a copy of The Da Vinci Code. • Cut out those carbs. Only eat pastas that end in the letter i. The Goomba Diet is the personal lifestyle guide from Steven R. Schirripa—Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri from HBO’s hit series The Sopranos and author of the bestseller A Goomba’s Guide to Life. Developed over decades of dreaming about and then living the high life, it’s a how-to guide for happy living—how to duke a maître d', how to order a good meal, how to be a good father, a good husband and a good friend, and how to behave at a wedding, a funeral, and on the job. You wanna have a good time? Follow these rules:• Do tip the maid. Don’t tip the made guy. • Do tip the D.J. Don’t tip the D.A.• Do tell the bride she’s beautiful. Don’t tell her she’s hardly showing.• Do give your kids an allowance. Don’t offer to “make it interesting” by shooting craps for double or nothing.The Goomba Diet is for everyone with an appetite for life, and for everyone who understands that the key to happiness isn’t found in a smaller waistline but in a bigger heart. Like Steve says, “There’s a lot of skinny actors wearing black turtlenecks and tending bar right now who’d kill for a part on The Sopranos. This fat goomba is doing all right for himself.”So relax! Stop worrying about how much you’re eating, and start worrying about how much you’re enjoying it. Lose weight if you like—but live! Put a fork in your right hand, a hunk of bread in your left, and mangia like you mean it. HBO® and The Sopranos® are service marks of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.From the Hardcover edition.
The Goomba's Book of Love
by Charles Fleming Steven R. SchirripaMove over Miss Lonelyhearts . . . Steven R. Schirripa, author of the runaway bestseller A Goomba's Guide to Life, is back with more life lessons from the neighborhood. Recalling stories of his own colorful journey from the streets of Bensonhurst to the bright lights of Las Vegas and stardom as Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri in the HBO hit series The Sopranos, Schirripa observes the finer points of amore in all its forms--love for his mother and her Sunday sauce, his wife and kids, his friends, his goomar on the side, even for his car (and he better not catch you eating in it, if you know what's good for you). Alternately touching, telling, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Goomba's Book of Love proves that no one loves as fiercely (or as frequently) as a goomba.
The Goonies (Little Golden Book)
by Arie Kaplan"Hey, you guys!" The Goonies Little Golden Book is based on the classic film that features those adventure-seeking Goonies as lovable Funko POP! figures!Follow Mikey and the other Goonies as they race to find the pirate treasure that will help them save their beloved Goon Docks in this delightful retelling of the beloved classic movie The Goonies. Illustrated in the quirky and loveable Funko POP! art style, this collectable Little Golden Book will delight kids ages 2 to 5—and their parents—with its light-hearted reimagining of one of the funniest films of all time!
The Goose Egg
by Liz WongFrom the author of Jumpstart's Read for the Record pick Quackers comes the story of Henrietta the Elephant, whose life goes from calm to chaotic when a baby goose comes to stay.Henrietta likes her quiet life. A morning swim, a cup of tea--all is serene.But everything changes when she bumps her head and winds up with a goose egg--a REAL goose egg. Henrietta tries to return the baby goose to the nest, but her flock has flown. It's up to Henrietta to raise her. Goose isn't anything like Henrietta. She's flappy, and noisy, and exhausting. But Henrietta raises that goose right. She teaches her to swim, and to honk, and to fly. When Goose flies off with the other geese, Henrietta is so proud! And then . . . lonely. How quiet her life feels now.But the love you give has a way of coming back to you. And Henrietta has a wonderful surprise in store. . . .
The Gorse Trilogy
by Patrick Hamilton'I recommend Hamilton at every opportunity, because he was such a wonderful writer and yet is rather under-read today. All his novels are terrific' Sarah Waters'If you were looking to fly from Dickens to Martin Amis with just one overnight stop, then Hamilton is your man' Nick HornbyPatrick Hamilton's novels were the inspiration for Matthew Bourne's new dance theatre production, The Midnight Bell.Ernest Ralph Gorse's heartlessness and lack of scruple are matched only by the inventiveness and panache with which he swindles his victims. With great deftness and precision Hamilton exposes how his dupes' own naivete, snobbery or greed make them perfect targets. These three novels are shot through with the brooding menace and sense of bleak inevitability so characteristic of the author. There is also vivid satire and caustic humour. Gorse is thought to be based on the real-life murderer Neville Heath, hanged in 1946.
The Gospel According to Cher (Cupid Knows Best #2)
by S. A. GarciaCupid Knows Best: Book TwoA Spin-off of Cupid Knows BestHindy Nardella, gallery owner and tidy leather diva, isn't sure about love anymore. His most-recent ex-lover said "sayonara" and headed for Japan despite a week of Hindy begging him to stay. The man before that bid Hindy "namaste" before heading for Nepal seeking salvation. Hindy will accept advice from anywhere, even a tacky Cupid music box which only plays Cher's "Believe," and vivid dreams that compel him to leave NYC and head for the Adirondacks. Cupid leads Hindy straight to a leather bar in the mountains and an exotic drag queen named Patrice O'Malley. For Patrice, whose near-perfect beauty belies his lack of confidence, it's lust at first sight, but Hindy has doubts born of his recent run of bad luck in romance. But when Patrice saves Hindy from death by a falling chunk of airplane blue ice, Cupid slams into Hindy's heart, and Hindy begins to believe in miracles again. Dangers and challenges arise, involving, among other things, crazy ex-lovers, rampaging mosquitoes, and a phantom moose. But life together awaits back in NYC, if they can survive, trust in each other, and believe in life after love.
The Gospel According to Dogs
by Robert L. ShortBestselling author of The Gospel According to Peanuts Robert Short reveals what man's best friend can teach us about life. Dogs do much more than just keep us company and give us love and attention--they are models for how we can live better lives as humans. From humility and obedience to singleness of purpose and unconditional love, Short shows us how we can learn from the remarkable qualities of dogs. Using examples from more than forty classic comic strips, including Peanuts, Blondie, Family Circus, Luann, Mother Goose & Grimm, Fred Basset, and more, as well as charming photographs of real dogs, The Gospel According to Dogs is a delight-fully entertaining book for dog lovers, comic enthusiasts, and anyone looking for reassuring wisdom for the good life.
The Gospel According to Little Artist Boy
by Magda Archer'I LOVE Little Artist Boy' Philippa PerryStep into the colourful world of the Little Artist Boy. Linger for some time. Not too long mind, he has things to be getting on with. Whether you're in the clutches of a bad day or you have a spring in your step from having a good one, you'll find just what you need in the wise, funny, smart and sensible (but never dull!) words of Little Artist Boy.In a collection of sassy and wise quotations, he dispenses comfort and advice on all areas of life - from 'There's nothing like a game of crazy golf to clear the air' to the virtues of a smock and beret, to the effortless 'Stop being a mug'.
The Gospel According to Paul
by Jonathan BigginsMy fellow irrelevant Australians. Never, in the history of our democracy, has Australian political life been in such a parlous state. There are people living in this country who have never seen true political leadership, having been governed in recent times by the dullest, most sanctimonious, hypocritical choir of patsies. This book will give them a woefully overdue idea of what a real leader looks like.Leadership is not like a can of Popeye's spinach - you have to earn it. And earn it I did. And I am going to tell you how.In The Gospel According to Paul, writer and satirist Jonathan Biggins draws on his award-winning play to harness the eviscerating wit, wisdom and confidence of Keating, showing us the evolution of Paul John Keating, from Bankstown to the Lodge and beyond. Almost the autobiography Keating said he would never write, it is a timely reminder of the political leadership we are sorely missing.
The Gospel According to the Fix
by Chris CillizzaA divine guide to deciphering the sinful world of American politics, from the author of the Washington Post's The FixThe political world is full of acronyms, shortcuts, and lingoes that stand as a barrier to entry for anyone not in the business. The onset of social media has only made that barrier higher, as insiders tweet furiously to one another in a language most of us can't even understand. Everyday Americans and even political junkies need a how-to manual for understanding what words matter in this arena and why. Enter Brother Chris Cillizza and The Gospel According to the Fix--an essential guide to the wonderfully odd religion of politics. Based on his highly popular blog, The Gospel According to the Fix will teach you something new about politics, no matter who you are and whom you know. In our torturous political climate, this Gospel is the one true source for comprehending what the heck is going on in DC. Chapter and verse, this political Gospel will include parables the likes of: * Why Ron Paul's candidacy is a lot like the TV show Friday Night Lights* What it takes to be Richard Ben Cramer and write the political classic What It Takes* The top ten negative campaign ads of all time* The top ten issues candidates should be discussing but aren't because of the economy* The dos and don'ts of surviving a political sex scandal
The Gospel of Anarchy: A Novel
by Justin Taylor“A feverish, fearless writer.” —Christine Schutt, author of All Souls, finalist for the 2009 Pulitzer Prize“The Gospel of Anarchy is a beautiful, searching and sometimes brutally funny novel. Justin Taylor writes with fierce precision and perfect balance.” —Sam Lipsyte, author of The AskFollowing his critically acclaimed short story collection Everything Here Is the Best Thing Ever, Justin Taylor’s mesmerizing debut novel explores the eccentricities, insights, and unexpected grace found in a motley crew of off-beat anarchists, and their quest to achieve utopia in a crumbling Florida commune. In the vein of Chris Adrian, Padgett Powel, and Hunter Thompson, Taylor delivers a shrewd, cerebral, and often wickedly humorous vision of reality on every leaf of the mirthfully absurd The Gospel of Anarchy.
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
by Bobby HendersonCAN I GET A "RAMEN" FROM THE CONGREGATION?! Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today's fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM's devout followers, a. k. a. Pastafarians? Some say it's the assuring touch from the FSM's "noodly appendage. " Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church's flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match-and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden. Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts- dispelling such malicious myths as evolution ("only a theory"), science ("only a lot of theories"), and whether we're really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99. 9 percent with pirates!) See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say: "If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory. " -Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph. D. "Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative 'theories' like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice. " -J. Simon, Ph. D. "In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory. " -Afshin Beheshti, Ph. D. Read the book and decide for yourself!
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
by Bobby HendersonCAN I GET A “RAMEN” FROM THE CONGREGATION?!Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM’s devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it’s the assuring touch from the FSM’s “noodly appendage.” Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church’s flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match–and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say:“If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory.”–Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D. “Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative ‘theories’ like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.”–J. Simon, Ph.D.“In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory.”–Afshin Beheshti, Ph.D.Read the book and decide for yourself!From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Gothamites
by Eno RaudFrom Estonia's most celebrated children's author Eno Raud, comes a spirited tale of the wise, turned utterly foolish Gothamites, on a journey to capture light, solve riddles, and make sense of the world without a "grain of wisdom." Through Pritt Parn's brilliant and overflowing illustrations, the world of Gotham bounds beyond each page.In a faraway land live a bright, industrious people called the Gothamites. They are known for being model citizens, so much so that other communities constantly call upon them for advice, leaving the Gothamites with no time for themselves. Fed up, they hit on a solution: they'll become the most foolish people around: after all, no one wants foolish advice. Chaos ensues, brilliantly captured by Eno Raud's wordplay and Priit Parn's crowded illustrations. From one of Estonia's most cherished children's authors comes the spirited tale of a town that decides to wreak havoc in hilarious fashion.
The Gothic and the Everyday: Living Gothic (The Palgrave Gothic Series)
by Gill PartingtonThe Gothic and the Everyday aims to regenerate interest in the Gothic within the experiential contexts of history, folklore, and tradition. By using the term 'living', this book recalls a collection of experiences that constructs the everyday in its social, cultural, and imaginary incarnations
The Gracie Allen Murder Case: Philo Vance #11 (Philo Vance)
by S.S. Van DineThe beloved 1930s comedienne becomes the famed detective’s sidekick in the series that “transport[s] the reader back to a long-gone era of society” (Mystery Scene).During a glamorous night on the town, Gracie Allen finds a dead body—and a cigarette case nearby that belongs to her date for the evening. Detective Philo Vance is on the scene, but questioning Gracie is causing more confusion than enlightenment. To prevent her from creating more chaos, Vance decides to keep her close by as his unofficial sleuthing partner. Now, with the help of the zany star—or in spite of it—he intends to find the real killer . . .“Mr. Van Dine’s amateur detective is the most gentlemanly, and probably the most scholarly snooper in literature.” —Chicago Daily Tribune“The best of the American mystery men.” —The Globe
The Grammarians: A Novel
by Cathleen Schine<p>An enchanting, comic love letter to sibling rivalry and the English language. <p>From the author compared to Nora Ephron and Nancy Mitford, not to mention Jane Austen, comes a new novel celebrating the beauty, mischief, and occasional treachery of language. <p>The Grammarians are Laurel and Daphne Wolfe, identical, inseparable redheaded twins who share an obsession with words. They speak a secret twin tongue of their own as toddlers; as adults making their way in 1980s Manhattan, their verbal infatuation continues, but this love, which has always bound them together, begins instead to push them apart. Daphne, copy editor and grammar columnist, devotes herself to preserving the dignity and elegance of Standard English. Laurel, who gives up teaching kindergarten to write poetry, is drawn, instead, to the polymorphous, chameleon nature of the written and spoken word. Their fraying twinship finally shreds completely when the sisters go to war, absurdly but passionately, over custody of their most prized family heirloom: Merriam Webster s New International Dictionary, Second Edition. <p>Cathleen Schine has written a playful and joyful celebration of the interplay of language and life. A dazzling comedy of sisterly and linguistic manners, a revelation of the delights and stresses of intimacy, The Grammarians is the work of one of our great comic novelists at her very best.</p>
The Grand Design: A Novel
by John Dos PassosJohn Dos Passos's literary response to Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal, The Grand Design critiques the gargantuan growth of bureaucracy in Washington during the Great Depression and World War II. The satiric novel conveys the author's frustration with federal overreach and the hollow rhetoric that sells it to the people. "War is a time of Caesars," writes Dos Passos as he laments the death of idealistic, intelligent enterprises at the desks of elitist administrators. After witnessing the Spanish Civil War claim so many well-intentioned men, he advises caution for America's New Dealers: "Some things we have learned, but not enough; there is more to learn. Today we must learn to found again in freedom our republic."
The Grand Scheme of Things: A Novel
by Warona JayTwo unlikely friends hatch an extraordinary scheme to expose the theater world in this wildly entertaining and sharply observed debut novel exploring perception, redemption, and how success shapes us all.Meet Relebogile Naledi Mpho Moruakgomo. Or, for short, Eddie: an aspiring playwright who dreams of making it big in London&’s theater world. But after repeated rejections from white talent agents, Eddie suspects her non-white sounding name might be the problem. Enter Hugo Lawrence Smith: good looking, well-connected, charismatic and…very white. Stifled by his law degree and looking for a way out of the corporate world, he finds a kindred spirit in Eddie after a chance encounter at a cafe. Together they devise a plan, one which will see Eddie&’s play on stage and Hugo&’s name in lights. They send out her script under his name and vow to keep the play&’s origins a secret until it reaches critical levels of success. Then they can expose the theater world for its racism and hollow clout-chasing. But as their plan spins wildly out of control, Eddie and Hugo find themselves wondering if their reputations, and their friendship, can survive.
The Grand Tour: A Novel
by Adam O'Fallon PriceA bitingly funny, smart and moving road novel about two hapless lost souls--an alcoholic Vietnam veteran turned bestselling author, and his awkward, shy college student superfan--who form an unlikely connection on the world's most disastrous book tour. Richard Lazar is advancing in years but regressing in life. After a career as a literary novelist that has ground to a halt and landed him in a trailer in Phoenix, Richard is surprised to find sudden success publishing a gritty memoir about his service in Vietnam. Sent on a book tour by his publishing house, Richard encounters his biggest (and really only) fan: an awkward, despondent student named Vance with issues of his own (an absentee father, a depressive mother, his own acute shyness). Soon Vance has volunteered to chauffeur Richard for the rest of the book tour, and the two embark on a disastrous but often hilarious cross-country trip. When things go wrong, Richard and Vance forge an unlikely bond between two misanthropes whose mutual insecurities and disdain for the world force both to look at each other, and their lives, in a more meaningful way.As they reach the end of the book tour, The Grand Tour ultimately becomes a moving tale of unlikely friendship that should catapult Adam O'Fallon Price into the company of such masters of All-American dyspepsia as Sam Lipsyte, David Gates and Walter Kirn.
The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank: If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?, Motherhood, And The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank
by Erma BombeckThe &“marvelously funny&” and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller (Vogue). For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don&’t risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte&’s Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load up their belongings and cry, &“Station wagons . . . ho!&” But life on the suburban frontier is not as perfect as they had hoped. The trees are stunted, the house is cramped, and there&’s no grass at all. But the Bombecks will make do, for they are suburbanites now—the last true pioneers! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author&’s estate.