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The Good Wife Guide: 19 Rules For Keeping A Happy Husband
by Ladies' Homemaker MonthlyA man's home is his castle, and as such, he should be treated like a king. And this fun, retro volume shows wives how to keep his royal highness happy. When he returns home from his demanding job, a man rightfully deserves a bit of pampering. A happy smile, a warm kiss, and a pair of cozy slippers are just the start. Here are all the secrets for helping him feel comfortable and content: advice on cooking from scratch, the lowdown on why a clean home makes hubby feel better, and valuable hints on making yourself more attractive to him. It's a great and humorous gift for brides-to-be or happily married wives, for Valentine's Day, and bridal showers and bachelorette parties.
The Good Wife Strikes Back
by Elizabeth BuchanElizabeth Buchan's New York Times bestseller Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman was hailed as "a thoughtful, intelligent, funny, coming-of-middle-age story" by The Boston Globe. Now she's back with another wise and entertaining novel about a woman who veers off the beaten path--and finds much more than she bargained for. After nineteen years of being the perfect wife to an ambitious politician, Fanny Savage is restless. Tired of merely keeping quiet and looking good at public engagements, she remembers the career she abandoned and the life she left behind as a successful partner in her father's Italian wine business. She has devoted two decades to being the Good Wife. Was it worth it after all? Could it be time for a trip back to Italy--to the pleasures of sun, wine, and food? Could it be time for . . . a change?
The Good Woman's Guide to Making Better Choices: A novel about marriage, fraud and goat's cheese
by Liz FosterHow well do you ever really know your husband? And how did Libby - a thoroughly decent straighty one-eighty who's never even had a speeding ticket - end up with Ludo?Loyal country girl Libby Popovic lives a golden life with her confident financier husband Ludo and their two children, Harrison and Ava. When Ludo is jailed for financial fraud, and her friends and family lose tens of thousands of dollars as a result, Libby feels agonizingly complicit for hosting the final investor pitch in their home. Matters go from atrocious to worse when her possessions and home are repossessed, Libby is sacked and a priceless family heirloom is wrecked. While camping out at the rural goat farm where she was raised, she's forced to re-evaluate her life choices.A warm, funny and outrageously unfair novel about deception, financial fraud and goat's cheese, and the possibility of starting your life all over again when everything goes south.
The Good for Nothings
by Danielle BanasWhip-smart and utterly charming, Danielle Banas's irreverent YA sci-fi adventure The Good for Nothings is perfect for fans of Guardians of the Galaxy, The Lunar Chronicles, and Firefly.Cora Saros is just trying her best to join the family business of theft and intergalactic smuggling. Unfortunately, she's a total disaster. After landing herself in prison following an attempted heist gone very wrong, she strikes a bargain with the prison warden: He'll expunge her record if she brings back a long-lost treasure rumored to grant immortality. Cora is skeptical, but with no other way out of prison (and back in her family's good graces), she has no choice but to assemble a crew from her collection of misfit cellmates—a disgraced warrior from an alien planet; a cocky pirate who claims to have the largest ship in the galaxy; and a glitch-prone robot with a penchant for baking—and take off after the fabled prize. But the ragtag group soon discovers that not only is the too-good-to-be-true treasure very real, but they're also not the only crew on the hunt for it. And it's definitely a prize worth killing for.Praise for The Good for Nothings:"A fun, galaxy-spanning treasure hunt with plenty of action and heart." —Publishers Weekly
The Good, Spam, And Ugly: Shooting It Out With Internet Bad Guys
by Steve GrahamDate: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 18:38:09 +0000 (GMT) Subject: CONFIDENTIAL. . . To: honbarrsedd4za@yahoo. co. in PROPOSAL FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE Dear Sir: I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. I am a high placed official with the Department of Finance Affairs in Lagos, Nigeria. I and two other colleagues are in need of a silent foreign partner whose bank account we can use to transfer the sum of $18,000,000. This are monies left by a barrister who died tragically in a plane crash last year. . . Sound familiar? Congratulations. You have been selected to become a mugu, an expression African con artists use to describe the targets of their e-mail scams. But they drew a bead on the wrong guy when they started spamming Steve H. Graham. Like many Internet users, Graham eventually got tired of receiving mugu mail and decided to fire back at his wannabe swindlers. Armed with a scathing sense of humor, Graham quickly turned the tables on his tormenters--with side-splittingly hilarious results. Whether hes referring to his fictional lawyer Biff Wellington, complaining about the injury he received while milking a lactating sloth, or offering the Preparation H helpline as his phone number, Graham--using aliases such as Wile E. Coyote, Barney Rubble, and Herman Munster--offers proof that spamming the spammers is the best revenge. Steve H. Graham is a retired attorney. Since childhood, he has been fighting for truth, justice, and free movie passes. For each copy sold of this book, he will donate 100 percent of the proceeds to himself. He is also the author of the cookbook "Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man. " He lives in Miami.
The Good, The Bad and The Furry: Life with the World's Most Melancholy Cat and Other Whiskery Friends
by Tom CoxThe Sunday Times Bestseller: A heartwarming memoir about a man at the mercy of his unpredictable, demanding and endlessly lovable cats.Meet THE BEAR - a cat who carries the weight of the world on his furry shoulders, and whose wise, owl-like eyes seem to ask, Can you tell me why I am a cat, please?Like many intellectuals, The Bear would prefer a life of quiet solitude with plenty of time to gaze forlornly into space and contemplate society's ills. Unfortunately he is destined to spend his days surrounded by felines of a significantly lower IQ . . .RALPH: handsome, self-satisfied tabby, terrified of the clothes horse.SHIPLEY: mouthy hooligan and champion mouser, rendered insensible by being turned upside-down.ROSCOE: fiercely independent kitten, tormented by her doppelganger in the mirror. And then there's Tom, writing with his usual wit and charm about the unexpected adventures that go hand in hand with a life at the beck and call of four cats . . . or three cats and a sensitive poet who just happens to be a foot high and covered in fur.
The Good, The Bad and The Furry: The Brand New Adventures of the World's Most Melancholy Cat and Other Whiskery Friends
by Tom CoxThe Sunday Times Bestseller: A heartwarming memoir about a man at the mercy of his unpredictable, demanding and endlessly lovable cats.Meet THE BEAR - a cat who carries the weight of the world on his furry shoulders, and whose wise, owl-like eyes seem to ask, Can you tell me why I am a cat, please?Like many intellectuals, The Bear would prefer a life of quiet solitude with plenty of time to gaze forlornly into space and contemplate society's ills. Unfortunately he is destined to spend his days surrounded by felines of a significantly lower IQ . . .RALPH: handsome, self-satisfied tabby, terrified of the clothes horse.SHIPLEY: mouthy hooligan and champion mouser, rendered insensible by being turned upside-down.ROSCOE: fiercely independent kitten, tormented by her doppelganger in the mirror. And then there's Tom, writing with his usual wit and charm about the unexpected adventures that go hand in hand with a life at the beck and call of four cats . . . or three cats and a sensitive poet who just happens to be a foot high and covered in fur.
The Good, The Bad and The Furry: The Brand New Adventures of the World's Most Melancholy Cat and Other Whiskery Friends
by Tom CoxThe Sunday Times Bestseller: A heartwarming memoir about a man at the mercy of his unpredictable, demanding and endlessly lovable cats.Meet THE BEAR - a cat who carries the weight of the world on his furry shoulders, and whose wise, owl-like eyes seem to ask, Can you tell me why I am a cat, please?Like many intellectuals, The Bear would prefer a life of quiet solitude with plenty of time to gaze forlornly into space and contemplate society's ills. Unfortunately he is destined to spend his days surrounded by felines of a significantly lower IQ . . .RALPH: handsome, self-satisfied tabby, terrified of the clothes horse.SHIPLEY: mouthy hooligan and champion mouser, rendered insensible by being turned upside-down.ROSCOE: fiercely independent kitten, tormented by her doppelganger in the mirror. And then there's Tom, writing with his usual wit and charm about the unexpected adventures that go hand in hand with a life at the beck and call of four cats . . . or three cats and a sensitive poet who just happens to be a foot high and covered in fur.
The Good, The Bad and The Multiplex
by Mark KermodeIf blockbusters make money no matter how bad they are, then why not make a good one for a change?How can 3-D be the future of cinema when it's been giving audiences a headache for over a hundred years? Why pay to watch films in cinemas that don't have a projectionist but do have a fast-food stand? And, in a world where Sex and the City 2 was a hit, what are film critics even for? Outspoken, opinionated and hilariously funny, The Good, The Bad and The Multiplex is a must for anyone who has ever sat in an undermanned, overpriced cinema and wondered: 'How the hell did things get to be this terrible?'
The Good, The Bad and The Smug
by Tom HoltA new novel from a master of comic fantasy, Tom Holt. New Evil. Same as the Old Evil, but with better PR. Mordak isn't bad, as far as goblin kings go, but when someone, or something, starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms it puts his rule into serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet. Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a masters degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on. He knows that the truth is out there. If only he could remember where he put it.
The Good, the Bad & the Beagle
by Catherine Lloyd BurnsSet in a Manhattan, this is the story of feisty eleven-year-old Veronica Morgan, who believes that a furry lemon beagle from the neighborhood pet store will be the solution to the endless worries she has about life in general and friendship in particular. This is a problem, since her bumbling psychiatrist parents won't buy her the puppy she wants or stop meddling in her life at her challenging new school. But things never turn out the way you plan, particularly if you never stop expecting the worst to happen, and haven't taken a chance on being a true friend yourself.
The Good, the Bad and the Hungry: From “The Doodle Boy” Joe Whale (Bad Food #2)
by Eric LuperSlice, Scoop, and Totz -- the cafeteria food that came to life -- return to take on a new threat to Belching Walrus Elementary in this original series featuring the art of viral sensation Joe Whale, a.k.a. the Doodle Boy, and fan-favorite Eric Luper.After saving the pantry from the evil Baron Von Lineal, Slice, Scoop, and Totz are ready to kick back and relax. But when a new threat shows up in the halls of Belching Walrus, they'll have to spring from their seats and save the day -- all over again! This fun, imaginative series will spur the creativity of kids worldwide. Highly illustrated with big black-and-white pictures from Joe on every page, this series will be sure to resonate with kids worldwide!
The Good, the Bad and the Smug: YouSpace Book 4 (YouSpace)
by Tom Holt'This is a must-read for those who grew up in awe of The Phantom Tollbooth...Holt achieves near-perfection in his new comic fantasy.' - Publishers Weekly, starred review'Exceedingly clever and funny.' - RT Book ReviewsNew Evil.Same as the Old Evil, but with better PR.Mordak isn't bad, as far as goblin kings go, but when someone, or something, starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms it puts his rule into serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet.Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a masters degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on. He knows that the truth is out there. If only he could remember where he put it.A witty fantasy novel of good, evil and everything inbetween, from one of Britain's best-loved comic writers - perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
The Good, the Bad and the Smug: YouSpace Book 4 (YouSpace)
by Tom Holt'This is a must-read for those who grew up in awe of The Phantom Tollbooth...Holt achieves near-perfection in his new comic fantasy.' - Publishers Weekly, starred review'Exceedingly clever and funny.' RT Book ReviewsNew Evil.Same as the Old Evil, but with better PR.Mordak isn't bad, as far as goblin kings go, but when someone, or something, starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms it puts his rule into serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet.Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a masters degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on. He knows that the truth is out there. If only he could remember where he put it.A witty fantasy novel of good, evil and everything inbetween, from one of Britain's best-loved comic writers - perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
The Good, the Bad and the Wurst: The 100 Craziest Moments from the Eurovision Song Contest
by Geoff TibballsSixty extraordinary years of Eurovision, from Céline Dion to Dustin the Turkey, from Abba to Conchita Wurst - the drag acts, the bad acts and all the nul points heroes.For 60 years the Eurovision Song Contest has existed in a parallel universe where a song about the construction of a hydro-electric power station is considered cutting-edge pop, where half a dozen warbling Russian grandmothers are considered Saturday night entertainment, where a tune repeating the word 'la' 138 times is considered a winner, and where Australia is considered part of Europe During those sixty years we have witnessed scandals: in 1957, Denmark's Birthe Wilke and Gustav Winckler enjoyed an outrageously long 13-second kiss because the stage manager forgot to say 'cut' during the live broadcast. We have witnessed national outrage: the 1976 Greek entry was a savage indictment of Turkish foreign policy in Cyprus. But most have all we have witnessed silly costumes, terrible lyrics and performers as diverse as Celine Dion and Dustin the Turkey.This book chronicles the 100 craziest moments in the history of Eurovision - the drag acts, the bad acts, the nul points heroes and the night in Luxembourg when the floor manager warned the audience not to stand up while they applauded because they might be shot by security forces. It captures some of the magic from this yearly event that continues to beguile and bemuse in equal measure.
The Good, the Bad, and the Accidentally Evil!: What's The Matter With Newton?; Monsters Among Us!; The Robot Who Knew Too Much; Beware Of The Giant Brain!; The Creature In Room #yth-125; The Good, The Bad, And The Accidentally Evil! (Franken-Sci High #6)
by Mark YoungCan Newton save Franken-Sci High? Find out in the sixth book in this wacky series created with The Jim Henson Company.When Franken-Sci High&’s strangest teacher tells Newton Warp that they are traveling to the future, Newton thinks it is a joke…but he should know by now that in a school for mad scientists, anything is possible. Before he knows it, Newton teleports forward by twenty-five years, and everything at the school has changed. His monster-loving friend, Shelly Ravenholt, has grown up to be against making monsters and has a plan to keep the school from making new monsters when there are so many that need help already. Her intentions are good, but she is becoming accidentally evil, and it&’s up to Newton to stop her! TM & © 2020 The Jim Henson Company
The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties
by Jesse Q. SutantoWhat should have been a family celebration of Chinese New Year descends into chaos when longtime foes crash the party in this hilariously entertaining novel by Jesse Q. Sutanto, bestselling author of Dial A for Aunties.After an ultra-romantic honeymoon across Europe, Meddy Chan and her husband Nathan have landed in Jakarta to spend Chinese New Year with her entire extended family. Chinese New Year, already the biggest celebration of the Lunar calendar, gets even more festive when a former beau of Second Aunt&’s shows up at the Chan residence bearing extravagant gifts—he&’s determined to rekindle his romance with Second Aunt and the gifts are his way of announcing his courtship. His grand gesture goes awry however, when it&’s discovered that not all the gifts were meant for Second Aunt and the Chans—one particular gift was intended for a business rival to cement their alliance and included by accident. Of course the Aunties agree that it&’s only right to return the gift—after all, anyone would forgive an honest mistake, right? But what should have been a simple retrieval turns disastrous and suddenly Meddy and the Aunties are helpless pawns in a decades-long war between Jakarta&’s most powerful business factions. The fighting turns personal, however, when Nathan and the Aunties are endangered and it&’s up to Meddy to come up with a plan to save them all. Determined to rescue her loved ones, Meddy embarks on an impossible mission—but with the Aunties by her side, nothing is truly impossible…
The Good, the Bad, and the Bossy (Best Babysitters Ever)
by Caroline CalaBeing a boss isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in the second book of the Best Babysitters Ever series. Perfect for fans of Rachel Vail and Sarah Mlynowski. Just when Malia, Dot, and Bree (aka the Best Babysitters Ever) corner the Playa Del Mar babysitting market, their lives get even busier. Malia’s evil older sister ropes her into a thankless internship. Dot must win the science fair. And Bree’s brand new cat turns out to be a holy terror. Meow! Malia is frustrated by the group’s lack of commitment until she has an idea so great it rivals the creation of the club in the first place: they can hire new babysitters and take a cut of their wages! It’s all of the money, and less of the babysitting. This plan is too perfect to fail. Until—spoiler alert—it does, in the most hilarious way possible.
The Good, the Bad, and the Dumped: A Novel
by Jenny ColganA laugh-out-loud novel about a woman determined to track down her exes in hopes of repairing her failing love life—from the New York Times bestselling author of 500 Miles from You.“I loved this book!”—Sophie KinsellaWe all look up our exes on-line…but should we? Posy Fairweather is over the moon when her boyfriend Matt proposes in what is probably the most romantic way possible—on top of a mountain, in a thunderstorm, like something from a Nicholas Sparks novel. But a few days later he dumps her. Crushed and humiliated, Posy wonders why all her romances have always been such train wrecks. Determined to gain some insight, Posy resolves to get online, track down her exes, and ask them. Which doors from Posy’s past should stay closed? Which might open? Can she learn from past mistakes? And what if she has let Mr. Right slip through her fingers along the way?
The Good, the Bad, and the Furry: Life with the World's Most Melancholy Cat
by Tom CoxHumorous and endearing, The Good, the Bad and the Furry is a heartwarming memoir about a man at the mercy of his unpredictable, demanding and endlessly lovable cats. Meet The Bear—a cat who carries the weight of the world on his furry shoulders, and whose wise, owl-like eyes seem to ask, Can you tell me why I am a cat please? Like many intellectuals, The Bear would prefer a life of quiet solitude with plenty of time to gaze forlornly into space and contemplate society's ills. Unfortunately, he is destined to spend his days surrounded by felines of a significantly lower IQ. There is Janet, a large man cat who often accidentally sets fire to his tail by walking too close to lighted candles; Ralph, a preening tabby who enjoys meowing his own name at 5AM; and Shipley, Ralph's brother, who steals soup but is generally relaxed once you pick him up and turn him upside down. And then there's Tom Cox, writing with wit and charm about the unexpected adventures that go hand-in-hand with a life at the beck and call of four cats.
The Good, the Bad, and the Goofy (Time Warp Trio #3)
by Jon Scieszka Lane SmithThe magic of The Book transports Joe, Sam, and Fred back in time to the Wild West where they are stampeded by a herd of crazed cattle, almost poisoned by trail chow, and suffocated by the odor of cows.
The Good, the Bard and the Ugly: A funny, modern take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from the Bafta-winning Horrible Histories writer
by Susie Donkin'I can wholeheartedly confirm that Susie Donkin is funnier than Shakespeare' MEL GIEDROYC'Impeccably researched, contagiously enjoyable, highly recommended.' BRIAN COXImogen thinks she knows what Shakespeare's most famous plays are all about. Everyone does, right? Star-crossed lovers. Naughty Greeks getting up to mischief in the woods. Scottish kings losing their minds. Young men with daddy issues. Dads who just need some positive affirmation from their daughters*. (*Okay, that's maybe putting it a bit mildly) But when Imogen brings 14 amateur actors together to perform one of the Bard's great works in a bid to save their local community centre, it becomes apparent that she - or anyone who reads this book for that matter - will never see Shakespeare's greatest works in the same light again . . ."BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin makes Shakespeare's greatest works even greater." Stan Lafski, Imogen's uncle "A very funny book. Would definitely not have been as funny if it was about Christopher Marlowe." Larry Fairfoul, troupe member
The Good, the Bard and the Ugly: A funny, modern take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from the Bafta-winning Horrible Histories writer
by Susie Donkin'I can wholeheartedly confirm that Susie Donkin is funnier than Shakespeare' MEL GIEDROYC'Impeccably researched, contagiously enjoyable, highly recommended.' BRIAN COXImogen thinks she knows what Shakespeare's most famous plays are all about. Everyone does, right? Star-crossed lovers. Naughty Greeks getting up to mischief in the woods. Scottish kings losing their minds. Young men with daddy issues. Dads who just need some positive affirmation from their daughters*. (*Okay, that's maybe putting it a bit mildly) But when Imogen brings 14 amateur actors together to perform one of the Bard's great works in a bid to save their local community centre, it becomes apparent that she - or anyone who reads this book for that matter - will never see Shakespeare's greatest works in the same light again . . ."BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin makes Shakespeare's greatest works even greater." Stan Lafski, Imogen's uncle "A very funny book. Would definitely not have been as funny if it was about Christopher Marlowe." Larry Fairfoul, troupe member
The Good, the Bard and the Ugly: A funny, modern take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from the Bafta-winning Horrible Histories writer
by Susie DonkinA hilarious, irreverent take on Shakespeare's best-known plays from BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin.Imogen thinks she knows what Shakespeare's most famous plays are all about. Everyone does, right? Star-crossed lovers. Naughty Greeks getting up to mischief in the woods. Scottish kings losing their minds. Young men with daddy issues. Dads who just need some positive affirmation from their daughters*. (*Okay, that's maybe putting it a bit mildly) But when Imogen brings 14 amateur actors together to perform one of the Bard's great works in a bid to save their local community centre, it becomes apparent that she - or anyone who reads this book for that matter - will never see Shakespeare's greatest works in the same light again . . ."BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin makes Shakespeare's greatest works even greater." Stan Lafski, Imogen's uncle "A very funny book. Would definitely not have been as funny if it was about Christopher Marlowe." Larry Fairfoul, troupe member(P)2023 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Goomba Diet: Living Large and Loving It
by Steven R. SchirripaHey, goomba! Are you on the Goomba Diet? Do you need to be?• Do they put up crime scene tape after you visit the buffet table?• Is the air freshener in your car a slice of provolone?Stop crying! The Goomba Diet is here—the dolce vita diet that shows you how to eat more, drink more, laugh more, live more, and feel great while you’re doing it. The Goomba Diet offers sensible weight-loss tips for the guy who’s gone too far:• Touch your toes. If this is difficult, pay a guy to do it for you.• Walk to court.It also offers helpful maintenance tips for the goomba who’s the perfect weight and wants to stay that way:• Try an appetite suppressant. Try eating at Applebee’s. • Pick up something heavy. Get a copy of The Da Vinci Code. • Cut out those carbs. Only eat pastas that end in the letter i. The Goomba Diet is the personal lifestyle guide from Steven R. Schirripa—Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri from HBO’s hit series The Sopranos and author of the bestseller A Goomba’s Guide to Life. Developed over decades of dreaming about and then living the high life, it’s a how-to guide for happy living—how to duke a maître d', how to order a good meal, how to be a good father, a good husband and a good friend, and how to behave at a wedding, a funeral, and on the job. You wanna have a good time? Follow these rules:• Do tip the maid. Don’t tip the made guy. • Do tip the D.J. Don’t tip the D.A.• Do tell the bride she’s beautiful. Don’t tell her she’s hardly showing.• Do give your kids an allowance. Don’t offer to “make it interesting” by shooting craps for double or nothing.The Goomba Diet is for everyone with an appetite for life, and for everyone who understands that the key to happiness isn’t found in a smaller waistline but in a bigger heart. Like Steve says, “There’s a lot of skinny actors wearing black turtlenecks and tending bar right now who’d kill for a part on The Sopranos. This fat goomba is doing all right for himself.”So relax! Stop worrying about how much you’re eating, and start worrying about how much you’re enjoying it. Lose weight if you like—but live! Put a fork in your right hand, a hunk of bread in your left, and mangia like you mean it. HBO® and The Sopranos® are service marks of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.From the Hardcover edition.