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The Essex Joke Book
by Nicholas KnightsWARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings EssexForget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen.What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe?Last year’s hide-and-seek champion.What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels.An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says.‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl.The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’
The Estate: A Novel
by Martin KingHailed by the authorites as `the future of housing', The Estate in south London was opened with a flourish by the Lord Mayor of London in the late 1960s. The six 20-storey tower blocks were seen as the new way forward for community life in London. However, within a matter of weeks it had all started to go wrong as racial tensions built up and families of ethnic minorities clashed. Based on true stories, THE ESTATE is a novel based around 11 different families living side by side in The Estate, and their perceptions of it. We find out how the Indion family, the gypsies, the gay couple and the landlord of the local pub all deal with new homes and the dynamics of a multi racial community. Building up to a finale at The Estate's Christmas party, this is a poignant and funny account of how life really treated the occupants of the tower blocks.
The Ethical Swordsman (Tales of the King's Blades)
by Dave DuncanIn the final adventure in the King&’s Blades series, one of the Blades is asked to go undercover to hunt down a possible threat to the crown of Chivial. Niall&’s father raised him to be a man of his word, and Niall has tried to live that way throughout his life, even during his training to become a Blade. But things have changed. King Ambrose has died. His daughter, Malinda, is now queen and behaving suspiciously. When she makes Niall Prime of the Blades, he is asked to swear an oath to protect her—and then is made a spy. Now Niall faces a mission that challenges everything he believes and must place his life on the line for a leader he&’s not certain he can trust . . . Praise for Dave Duncan &“Dave Duncan is one of the best writers in the fantasy world today. His writing is clear, vibrant, and full of energy. His action scenes are breathtaking, and his skill at characterization is excellent.&” —Writers Write&“Duncan excels at old-fashioned swashbuckling fantasy, maintaining a delicate balance between breathtaking excitement, romance, and high camp in a genre that is very easy to overdo.&” —RT Book Reviews
The Evening Hero
by Marie Myung-Ok LeeA sweeping, lyrical novel following a Korean immigrant pursuing the American dream who must confront the secrets of the past or risk watching the world he&’s worked so hard to build come crumbling down.Dr. Yungman Kwak is in the twilight of his life. Every day for the last fifty years, he has brushed his teeth, slipped on his shoes, and headed to Horse Breath&’s General Hospital, where, as an obstetrician, he treats the women and babies of the small rural Minnesota town he chose to call home. This was the life he longed for. The so-called American dream. He immigrated from Korea after the Korean War, forced to leave his family, ancestors, village, and all that he knew behind. But his life is built on a lie. And one day, a letter arrives that threatens to expose it. Yungman&’s life is thrown into chaos—the hospital abruptly closes, his wife refuses to spend time with him, and his son is busy investing in a struggling health start-up. Yungman faces a choice—he must choose to hide his secret from his family and friends or confess and potentially lose all he&’s built. He begins to question the very assumptions on which his life is built—the so-called American dream, with the abject failure of its healthcare system, patient and neighbors who perpetuate racism, a town flawed with infrastructure, and a history that doesn&’t see him in it. Toggling between the past and the present, Korea and America, Evening Hero is a sweeping, moving, darkly comic novel about a man looking back at his life and asking big questions about what is lost and what is gained when immigrants leave home for new shores.
The Ever After
by Jodi Lynn AndersonMost people aren't very comfortable in the woods, but the woods of Briery Swamp fit May Bird like a fuzzy mitten. There, she is safe from school and the taunts and teases of kids who don't understand her. Hidden in the trees, May is a warrior princess, and her cat, Somber Kitty, is her brave guardian. Then May falls into the lake. When she crawls out, May finds herself in a world that most certainly does not feel like a fuzzy mitten. In fact it is a place few living people have ever seen. Here, towns glow blue beneath zipping stars and the people -- people? -- walk through walls. Here the Book of the Dead holds the answers to everything in the universe. And here, if May is discovered, the horrifyingly evil Bo Cleevil will turn her into nothing. May Bird must get out. Fast. Within these pages, Jodi Lynn Anderson shares with us the beginning of May Bird's daring journey into the Ever After, a haunting place where true friends -- and one terrible foe -- await her on every corner.
The Everything Big Book of Jokes: Hundreds of the Shortest, Longest, Silliest, Smartest, Most Hilarious Jokes You've Never Heard! (Everything® Series)
by Evan C ThomasHave you heard the one about...You'll laugh yourself silly with The Everything Big Book of Jokes! Inside this sidesplitting collection, you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian, including:Short jokes, one-liners, and punsJokes about spouses, in-laws, kids, and grandparentsOffice and sports jokesAnimal humorClassics, including "Guy walks into a bar..." blonde jokes, priest and rabbi jokes, even knock-knock jokes Filled with countless gags, giggles, and guffaws, this book is sure to tickle your funny bone--and make you the life of the party!
The Everything Box: A Novel
by Richard KadreyReminiscent of the edgy, offbeat humor of Chris Moore and Matt Ruff, the first entry in a whimsical, fast-paced supernatural series from the New York Times bestselling author of the Sandman Slim novels--a dark and humorous story involving a doomsday gizmo, a horde of baddies determined to possess its power, and a clever thief who must steal it back . . . again and again.22000 B.C. A beautiful, ambitious angel stands on a mountaintop, surveying the world and its little inhabitants below. He smiles because soon, the last of humanity who survived the great flood will meet its end, too. And he should know. He's going to play a big part in it. Our angel usually doesn't get to do field work, and if he does well, he's certain he'll get a big promotion.And now it's time . . . .The angel reaches into his pocket for the instrument of humanity's doom. Must be in the other pocket. Then he frantically begins to pat himself down. Dejected, he realizes he has lost the object. Looking over the Earth at all that could have been, the majestic angel utters a single word."Crap."2015. A thief named Coop--a specialist in purloining magic objects--steals and delivers a small box to the mysterious client who engaged his services. Coop doesn't know that his latest job could be the end of him--and the rest of the world. Suddenly he finds himself in the company of The Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome enforcement agency that polices the odd and strange. The box isn't just a supernatural heirloom with quaint powers, they tell him.It's a doomsday device. They think . . .And suddenly, everyone is out to get it.
The Everything Guide to Comedy Writing (The Everything )
by Mike BentA guy walks into a bar...With this guide, aspiring comics will learn to navigate the complex world of comedy writing. Discover how to tap into your natural sense of humor through real-life examples and hands-on skill-building exercises. Learn the best ways to come up with ideas and write comedy that gets laughs--every time! Mike Bent, an accomplished stand-up comedian and teacher, provides the inside scoop on techniques to jump-start your comedy writing career, including how to:Develop comic characters for sketches and scenesCreate and polish a standup routineWrite for TV and moviesUse the web to advance your comedy careerEveryone loves a comedian. But breaking into this tough field is no laughing matter. After sharpening your comedy-writing skills with this practical (and funny!) guide, you'll feel comfortable adding humor to everyday situations and may even take a chance on your dream job in show business!
The Everything Kids' Gross Jokes Book
by Aileen WeintraubIf you're up for some side-splitting and stomach-churning laughs, grab The Everything Kids' Gross Jokes Book as fast as you can! It's packed with hundreds of one-liners and knock-knocks to make you turn green! Make your way through sick sections such as: The Gross-Store; There's Grime in My Slime!; Everybody Oozes; Who Among Us Is a Fungus?; Dead Fly Pie; and many more! Chock full of puzzles, games, and activities, The Everything Kids' Gross Jokes Book scores a perfect 10 on the Gross-o-meter!
The Everything Kids' Joke Book
by Michael DahlKids love to tell jokes, and with The Everything Kids' Joke Book, they'll never be at a loss for a good one. Inside, they'll learn: the world's seven best limericks; monster jokes; nickname games; cowboy jokes; light bulb jokes; knock-knock jokes; and hundreds more! And if they ever stop laughing, they can take a humor quiz to see how strong their funny bone really is! Not only does The Everything Kids' Joke Book provide kids with an endless supply of good clean jokes, but it also offers tips on how to tell jokes, how to deliver a punch line, and how to get laughs from family and friends!
The Everything Kids' Joke Book: Side-Splitting, Rib-Tickling Fun
by Michael DahlA Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
The Everything Kids': Joke Book
by Michael DahlThe Everything "RM" Kids' series is being relaunched at a phenomenal new price! They're the same great quality you've come to expect, still packed with tons of activities and puzzles in two-color -- now with a lower price that everyone can appreciate!Stock up on these perennial bestsellers that keep your kids active and engaged. The wide scope of subject material -- from jokes to science experiments -- appeals to kids all across the country. And parents and teachers love that the books provide responsible, educational information, while being so much fun that the kids love learning!From discovering why a sunset is red, to becoming a young entrepreneur, to learning new jokes to keep the whole family laughing, kids really love these Everything "RM" Kids' books!
The Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum: With Lovable, Furry Old Grover (Pictureback(R))
by Daniel Wilcox Norman StilesIllustrations in color. The fuzzy Sesame Street puppet tours The Small Hall, The Carrot Room, and other unusual exhibits in a unique museum.
The Evil Princess vs. the Brave Knight (Book 1)
by Jennifer L. HolmFor every parent tired of telling their kids to PLEASE JUST GET ALONG, this hilarious and imaginative new picture book--from the beloved creators of Babymouse--is here to help. Sort of.Meet the Evil Princess and the Brave Knight. She casts terrible spells, while he fights dragons. He rescues cats in distress, while she makes mischief. No wonder there isn't much peace in this kingdom! But is the Evil Princess really so evil? And is the Brave Knight truly as chivalrous as he seems? Children and parents will laugh at seeing familiar family dynamics play out in this charming and imaginative new story.
The Evil Princess vs. the Brave Knight: Make Good Choices? (Step into Reading)
by Jennifer L. Holm Matthew HolmFor every parent and caregiver tired of telling the kids it's not a good idea to eat cake for breakfast, this hilarious and imaginative new Step into Reading--from the beloved creators of Babymouse--is here to help. Sort of.Should the Evil Princess eat cake for breakfast? Should the Brave Knight jump in the muddly puddle? Watch them try to learn...to make, ahem, better choices, in this hilarious and perfectly young Step 2 Step into Reading.Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. They are perfect for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
The Evil Princess vs. the Brave Knight: Take Turns (Step into Reading)
by Jennifer L. HolmFor every parent and teacher tired of telling the kids to PLEASE JUST GET ALONG, this hilarious and imaginative new Step into Reading--from the beloved creators of Babymouse--is here to help. Sort of.The Evil Princess casts terrible spells, while the Brave Knight fights dragons. Could these siblings be any more different? Watch them try to learn to TAKE TURNS in this hilarious and perfectly young Step 1 Step into Reading!
The Evil Pumpkin Pie Fight! (Ella and Owen #4)
by Jaden KentIn this fourth book in the Ella and Owen series, the dragon siblings run up against an evil pumpkin king, a hungry spider, and a witch. On top of that, they have to deal with an army of pumpkins that want to fight with pie, when all the twins really want to do is get home without getting lost.As the fourth book in the Ella and Owen series begins, Ella's sense of adventure gets the twins in trouble--yet again! The siblings are stuck outside at night, unsure of where they are, when a light in the distance intrigues Ella. The two end up meeting an evil pumpkin king, traveling through a graveyard to meet with a witch, and getting caught in a spider's web. In order to get a map from the pumpkin king so they can find their way home, they even have to help an army of pumpkins fight the witch! Just in time for Halloween, this new addition to the fun dragon-y series has lots of spooky, scary bits while being filled with non-stop action and silliness.This early chapter book series has it all--humor, adventure, a dash of some gross-out stuff, and just the right mixture of sibling rivalry/love. Black and white illustrations with dragon details galore on every page add to the enjoyment, making Ella and Owen's world pop on each page.
The Ex Files: A Novel
by Jane MooreAfter five years spent maneuvering for Mr. Right, beautiful, feisty Faye Parker has finally snared a sensitive cutie named Mark. So when he pops the question, Faye is fully prepared to step out of the dating rat-race, call the caterer, and don the veil.Just as soon as she has one last teensy-weensy little fling.Then comes the dicey issue of the guest list. First there’s Nat, Faye’s ex—a narcissistic fashion model hell-bent on flaunting his substantial charms in Faye’s face, his latest Playboy bunny in tow. Next there’s Kate, Mark’s ex—a woman so indignant she’s not the bride that she’s liable to slit Faye’s zipper. And, of course, there’s Adam, Faye’s flamboyant sidekick, milking the chaos for all it’s worth while shamelessly ogling Nat’s abs. As the rehearsal dinner lurches toward the brink of a spin-the-bottle-fueled imbroglio, Faye must face the fact that marriage means more than a flawlessly executed reception. She’s got a serious decision to make—about Mark, about love, and about her own deepest desires. Wickedly funny, The Ex Files is a sexy, sophisticated caper that offers a brazenly edgy take on the complexities of the modern bride.
The Ex Games
by Jennifer EcholsBrace yourself for the battle of the exes.... Hayden and Nick used to be a hot item, but their brief affair ended with a highly publicized breakup. Now the two are "just friends," excluding the occasional flirtation. When Hayden wins the girls' division of a local snowboarding competition, Nick is unimpressed, claiming that Hayden wouldn't have a chance against a guy. Hayden calls Nick's bluff and challenges him to a head-to-head boarding contest. Their mutual friends quickly take sides, the girls on Hayden's and the boys on Nick's, making for an all-out battle of the sexes. This friendly competition is bound to get heated -- and they might end up igniting some old flames.
The Ex Hex: A Novel
by Erin SterlingNew York Times bestselling author Rachel Hawkins, writing as Erin Sterling, casts a spell with a spine-tingling romance full of wishes, witches, and hexes gone wrong. <p><p> Nine years ago, Vivienne Jones nursed her broken heart like any young witch would: vodka, weepy music, bubble baths…and a curse on the horrible boyfriend. Sure, Vivi knows she shouldn’t use her magic this way, but with only an “orchard hayride” scented candle on hand, she isn’t worried it will cause him anything more than a bad hair day or two. That is until Rhys Penhallow, descendent of the town’s ancestors, breaker of hearts, and annoyingly just as gorgeous as he always was, returns to Graves Glen, Georgia. What should be a quick trip to recharge the town’s ley lines and make an appearance at the annual fall festival turns disastrously wrong. With one calamity after another striking Rhys, Vivi realizes her silly little Ex Hex may not have been so harmless after all. Suddenly, Graves Glen is under attack from murderous wind-up toys, a pissed off ghost, and a talking cat with some interesting things to say. Vivi and Rhys have to ignore their off the charts chemistry to work together to save the town and find a way to break the break-up curse before it’s too late.
The Ex Hex: Never mix witchcraft and vodka . . . a spellbinding TikTok-sensation rom-com!
by Erin SterlingThe TikTok sensation! The Ex Hex is a spellbinding rom-com with a twist, think Practical Magic in Gilmore Girls' Stars Hollow . . .New York Times bestselling author Rachel Hawkins, writing as Erin Sterling, casts a spell with a spine-tingling romance full of wishes, witches, and hexes gone wrong..............................................................................................'You broke my heart, Rhys Penhallow. And we curse you. You and your whole stupid, hot line.' Vivienne Jones handled the biggest break-up of her life the way that any witch would: vodka, bubble baths, and a curse on her ex. That was nine years ago. Now Rhys Penhallow, descendant of the town's founders, breaker of hearts and still irritatingly gorgeous, is back. Rhys has returned to the quaint town of Graves Glen to recharge the ley lines and make an appearance at the annual fall festival. But when his every move results in calamity, Vivi realises that hexing her ex might not have been so harmless after all . . . As the curse starts to affect the magic of the town, resulting in murderous wind-up toys, an outraged ghost, and a surprisingly talkative cat, Vivi and Rhys must put their personal feelings aside and work together to break the curse and save not just the town, but also Rhys's life.(P) 2021 HarperCollins Publishers
The Ex Hex: Never mix witchcraft and vodka . . . a spellbinding second-chance rom-com!
by Erin SterlingThe Ex Hex is a spellbinding rom-com with a twist, think Practical Magic in Gilmore Girls' Stars Hollow . . .New York Times bestselling author Rachel Hawkins, writing as Erin Sterling, casts a spell with a spine-tingling romance full of wishes, witches, and hexes gone wrong.'Sterling's novel is ultimately crisp and sweet, like biting into the perfect caramel apple, and makes for an equally delicious autumn treat that will sweep readers up into a world of whimsical magic' Kirkus'A spooky romantic comedy treat that had me sighing at one page, laughing out loud at the next. The Ex Hex is the perfect book for fall' Tessa Bailey, New York Times bestselling author.............................................................................................'You broke my heart, Rhys Penhallow. And we curse you. You and your whole stupid, hot line.' Vivienne Jones handled the biggest break-up of her life the way that any witch would: vodka, bubble baths, and a curse on her ex. That was nine years ago. Now Rhys Penhallow, descendant of the town's founders, breaker of hearts and still irritatingly gorgeous, is back. Rhys has returned to the quaint town of Graves Glen to recharge the ley lines and make an appearance at the annual fall festival. But when his every move results in calamity, Vivi realises that hexing her ex might not have been so harmless after all . . . As the curse starts to affect the magic of the town, resulting in murderous wind-up toys, an outraged ghost, and a surprisingly talkative cat, Vivi and Rhys must put their personal feelings aside and work together to break the curse and save not just the town, but also Rhys's life..............................................................................................Praise for The Ex Hex, an unmissable, autumnal treat!'Filled with delightful witchiness and humor, this playful romantic comedy from Sterling explores second chances and self-discovery . . . The result is a fluffy Halloween treat' Publishers Weekly 'A delightful and witty take on witchy mayhem' PopSugar'You can't help but smile and laugh while reading The Ex Hex . . . Perfect for anyone who needs more witchy content in their lives, loves Hocus Pocus, Charmed and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and above all, anyone who's in need of a fluffy romcom!' The Nerd DailyEarly readers are LOVING The Ex Hex!'I loved and adored everything about this book . . . everything I was looking for! 5/5 stars!''The vibes were immaculate''One of the best rom-coms I've read all year! . . . It's Practical Magic meets The Gilmore Girls and I am a hundred percent OBSESSED!''Perfect for curling up with on an Autumn's evening. Definite Gilmore Girls vibes but with more magic and sex''A fantastic romance with more than a touch of magic'
The Ex Next Door: An utterly charming and funny romance
by Jo PlattThank you, n(ex)t.After burst pipes destroy Esme’s city-centre flat, she temporarily relocates to a delightful and small cottage in a village on the edge of town. The change is a big one, but Esme soon settles in and, as the art gallery she co-owns with her business partner, David, continues to thrive, life is sweet. Until Elliot - an ex whom she hasn’t seen or spoken to for years - moves in next door, along with his perfect new girlfriend, Morgan. Suddenly, Esme’s past is right on her doorstep, or at least just over the fence.When Elliot and Esme decide to keep their former relationship a secret from those around them, their subterfuge sets off a chain of events which not only forces Esme to re-evaluate her past relationship with Elliot, but also puts her friendship with David under the microscope and under pressure.A laugh-out-loud romance of second chances and near misses, perfect for fans of Mhairi McFarlane and Jenny Colgan.Praise for The Ex Next Door‘A fun, entertaining read. I read this in one sitting. It was full of some fun unexpected twists and turns. A feel-good romance with a loveable heroine, perfect for fans of Beth O'Leary, Sophie Sullivan and Trish Doller.’ ***** Reader review‘I totally loved this book! There was romance, humour, sadness, even a bit of suspense! I really enjoyed it.’ ***** Reader review‘This book is a clever look at relationships and the rose-coloured lens we place on former ones, even those that ended badly. I really, really loved this book, so much so that I read it again after.’ ***** Reader review‘What an enjoyable and charmingly romantic book! I really liked the protagonist, Esme Green, and the story was filled with surprises. I highly recommend this engaging book to other romance readers.’ ***** Reader review‘A fun, contemporary romance.’ ***** Reader review‘I really enjoyed reading this book. Easy, fun and cute. The ending gave me all the happy feels.’ ***** Reader review‘Thoroughly enjoyed this… I couldn’t put it down! Esme and David were so perfect for each other and had great chemistry.’ ***** Reader review
The Ex Vows
by Jessica JoyceAn Instant USA Today Bestseller!An Indie Next PickA Library Reads PickEstranged exes must stick close together to save their best friend&’s wedding after a string of disasters in this swoony and steamy second-chance romance from the USA Today bestselling author of You, with a View.Georgia Woodward lives by her lists, none more so than the one about her ex, Eli Mora. It&’s full of the ironclad dos and don&’ts they&’ve been following since she returned to the Bay Area after their cataclysmic breakup five years ago. With the wedding of their mutual best friend, Adam, looming, and them about to step into their roles as best woman and man, Georgia&’s never needed it more. She refuses to threaten their tight-knit friend group with her messy—and still very present—feelings. The rules on that list will keep her cool, calm, and compartmentalized. What&’s not on her list? Eli arriving from New York with a new rule-breaking attitude or the all-inclusive venue burning to the ground, leaving the bride and groom in dire straits. Nor does she anticipate Adam asking her and Eli to help him make a miracle happen. Together.As Georgia and Eli rush up to Napa Valley to pull off the perfect wedding, their old chemistry comes back in technicolor. Somewhere between cake tastings gone wrong, disastrous DJ auditions, and Eli&’s heated attention, Georgia starts recognizing the man she fell in love with before. And if she lets herself break her rules, she might find what they&’re building isn&’t the something old that ruined them—it&’s a chance at something new.