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The Jelly Bean Tree
by Toni YulyJelly Bean the giraffe loves her forest and her friends—even if she's too tall to play on the forest floor. She also loves napping with her head in the trees. But when Mama Bird decides Jelly Bean is the perfect place for her nest, the giraffe suddenly has a big responsibility as she waits for the baby birds to hatch. Can Jelly Bean be patient and still enough, day and night? Yes, with a little help from her friends.Working with collage and torn tissue paper, Toni Yuly brings charm and humor to her bold, colorful artwork in this gentle story about friendship, The Jelly Bean Tree.
The Jenius
by Dick King-SmithDick King-Smith, creator of 'Babe the Sheep-Pig', presents the cleverest guinea pig in the world!Judy's classmates snigger when she claims guinea pigs are brainy. But, when her guinea pigs have a baby son, she decides to call him Jenius and train him to prove her point. Soon he can do all kinds of clever tricks, and Judy can't wait to show him off at school. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
The Jesus Cow
by Michael PerryThe New York Times bestselling humorist Michael Perry makes his fiction debut with this hilarious and bighearted tale--a comic yet sincere exploration of faith in the face of the modern world.Life is suddenly full of drama for low-key Harley Jackson: A woman in a big red pickup has stolen his bachelor's heart; a Hummer- driving developer hooked on self-improvement audiobooks is threatening to pave the last vestiges of his family farm; and inside his barn lies a calf bearing the image of Jesus Christ. Harley's best friend, Billy, a giant of a man who shares his trailer house with a herd of cats and tries to pass off country music lyrics as philosophy, urges him to sidestep the woman, fight the developer, and get rich off the calf. But Harley takes the opposite tack, hoping to avoid what his devout, dearly departed mother would have called "a scene."Then the secret gets out--right through the barn door--and Harley's "miracle" goes viral. Within hours, pilgrims, grifters, and the media have descended on his quiet patch of Swivel, Wisconsin, looking for a glimpse (and a per- centage) of the calf. Does Harley hide the famous, possibly holy, calf and risk a riot, or give the people what they want--and in the process raise enough money to keep his land and, just maybe, win the woman in the big red pickup?Harley goes all in, cutting a deal with a major Hollywood agent that transforms his little farm into an international spiritual theme park--think Lourdes, only with cheese curds and souvenir snow globes. Soon, Harley has lots of money . . . and more trouble than he ever dreamed.
The Jewel of Seven Stars: Ah, It Is The Fault Of Our Science That It Wants To Explain All; And If It Explain Not, Then It Says There Is Nothing To Explain
by Bram StokerIn a house full of Egyptian antiquities—A jeweled scarab, mummified cat, and severed hand …Unexplained claw marks and comas …A mysterious stranger&’s wild tales of a hidden tomb and ancient warnings …Of violent deaths to everyone who sought the jewel …All linked to a forgotten queen&’s 5,000-year quest for reincarnation …Malcolm Ross, pulled by his adoration of Margaret Trelawny, finds himself embroiled in a centuries old story that challenges human logic.Lovers of the supernatural, occult, and paranormal will enjoy this unique edition of Bram Stoker&’s The Jewel of the Seven Stars, which includes the novel&’s original 1903 ending as well as an abridged 1912 version.
The Jewel of the Isle
by Kerry ReaTwo very indoor people rough it on a remote island after getting swept up in an archaeologist&’s hunt for a famed jewel in this dazzling new adventure rom-com by Kerry Rea, author of Lucy on the Wild Side.If Emily Edwards knows one thing, it&’s that you don&’t go to a remote island by yourself. Ever the type A personality, Emily doesn&’t want to hike around an unfamiliar island, but she&’s determined to fulfill her late father&’s national park bucket list, starting with Isle Royale National Park—home to wolves, bears, and hundred-year-old shipwrecks. She has no choice but to hire a tour guide, and there is only one that isn&’t booked solid.Ryder Fleet, co-owner of Fleet Outdoor Adventures, wouldn&’t call himself a wilderness expert, and he definitely doesn&’t know how to find true north. But when his dormant adventure guide business suddenly finds life again after a random inquiry, Ryder somehow finds himself on a ferry to Isle Royale with a very beautiful, no-nonsense woman. What this woman doesn&’t know is that his brother Caleb, who died two years ago, was the outdoorsman of their business, while Ryder just did the marketing. But how hard could it be to hike up a few mountains?Pretty difficult, actually, when murder is involved. Emily&’s perfectly planned trek turns disastrous when she and Ryder witness a brutal crime and are suddenly forced to evade a group of archaeologists on the hunt for a jewel. As they spend nights together too close for comfort, they realize their shoddily built fire isn&’t the only thing that&’s kindling, and that they must trust each other if they want to escape the island with their lives—and hearts—intact.
The Jewish Daughter Diaries
by Rachel AmentMoms who impersonate their daughters on JDate. Moms who try to set their daughters up with celebrities. Moms who can't stop taking selfies with their dogs. This collection of essays is a heartfelt, hilarious tribute to mom and daughterhood, exploring the often complex, colorful and (at times) claustrophobic relationship. The Jewish Daughter Diaries features stories from some of the most compelling Jewish female voices today, who sound off on what it is like to be loved and adored by a modern-day Jewish mom. Mayim Bialik: "My mother met my bewilderment with a sympathetic glance and a modest recounting of my assets as she saw them.... if Barbra Streisand could be so famous and amazing and wonderful with her nose, why should mine be any problem?" lliza Shlesinger: "I knew my mom was special because once I asked her, "If a witch turned me into a bug, what would you do? Without missing a beat, she said, "I'd put you in my pocket to keep you with me always." The stories in this collection will make you laugh, cry, panic-and finally, pick up the phone. For anyone who has ever been overloved, overprotected or overmothered, this collection will feel like home. Also featuring: Lauren Greenberg, Sari Botton, Abby Sher, Kerry Cohen, Meredith Hoffa, Anna Breslaw, Chaya Kurtz, Iris Bahr, Jena Friedman, Rachel Shukert, Leonara Ariella Nonni Epstein, Jenny Jaffe, Lauren Yapalater, Rebecca Drysdale, Emmy Blotnik, Arianna Stern, Almie Rose, Nadine Friedman, Deb Margolin, Gaby Dunn, Wendy Liebman, Mireille Silcoff, Dylan Joffe, and Mara Altman.
The Jewish Joke: A Short History--with Punchlines
by Devorah BaumHeard the one about the Rabbi and the cow from Minsk? Look no further than this witty compendium, a fascinating and revealing celebration of the great Jewish Joke. Comedy is full of famously funny Jews, from Groucho Marx to Sarah Silverman, from Larry David to Jerry Seinfeld. This smart and funny book includes tales from many of these much-loved comics, and will appeal to their broad audience, while revealing the history, context and wider culture of Jewish joking. The Jewish joke is as old as Abraham, and like the Jews themselves it has wandered over the world, learned countless new languages, worked with a range of different materials, been performed in front of some pretty hostile crowds, and yet still retained its own distinctive identity. So what is it that animates the Jewish joke? Why are Jews so often thought of as ‘funny’? And how old can a joke get? The Jewish Joke is a brilliant—and laugh-out-loud funny—riff on about what marks Jewish jokes apart from other jokes, why they are important to Jewish identity and how they work. Ranging from self-deprecation to anti-Semitism, politics to sex, Devorah Baum looks at the history of Jewish joking and asks whether the Jewish joke has a future. With jokes from Lena Dunham to Woody Allen, as well as Freud and Marx (Groucho, mostly), Baum balances serious research with light-hearted humor and provides fascinating insight into this well-known and much loved cultural phenomenon.
The Jewish Mothers' Hall of Fame
by Fred A. BernsteinBernstein interviewed 25 mothers of Jewish people, including Clara Sussman, mother of Rosalyn Yalow, a Nobel Medalist in medicine. Like other mothers in the book, Clara, who died recently, exemplified a life of hard work and sacrifice, as well as worry about her child when a teacher told her Rosalyn was a genius. ("I never met the man Einstein but I heard he was a little peculiar.") The author says Leah Adler, mother of film director Steven Spielberg, was the funniest person he'd ever met, and readers will agree. With obvious love and pride, she kvetches about bringing up a peculiar son ("I didn't know what the hell he was"). There are reports on rock stars, a lawyer, playwright and other achievers and at least two people more notorious than famous: porn film star Harry Reems and yippie ex-convict Abbie Hoffman.
The Jewish War
by Tova Reich"It is sometime in the near future, and the Israeli Army is about to descend upon a band of militant settlers who have proclaimed the secessionist Kingdom of Judea and Samaria. So begins this timely and brilliantly satiric novel - an all-too-real story of a modern-day Masada. " "The Jewish War is most particularly the story of Yehudi HaGoel (formerly Jerry Goldberg of the Bronx), the fiery and charismatic king of an extreme Zionist sect. His divine mission: to hasten the coming of the Messiah and bring about the redemption. As we follow him from his youth in New York City and the Catskills to his hilarious, illicit passage to Israel during the Six-Day War and through his campaign to claim the sacred city of Hebron (the burial place of the Jewish Patriarchs and Matriarchs), we enter into a complex and troubled world rife with ancient passions. It is a world peopled with irreconcilables: religious Zionists, ultra-Orthodox anti-Zionists, Christian fundamentalists, Arab nationalists, secular Israelis, American supporters, and implacable military officers. "--BOOK JACKET. Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved
The Jezebel Remedy
by Martin ClarkMartin Clark--who has set, according to the Winston-Salem Journal, "the new standard by which other works of legal fiction should be judged"--now delivers his finest novel yet. Lisa and Joe Stone, married for twenty years and partners in their small law firm in Henry County, Virginia, handle less-than-glamorous cases, whether domestic disputes, personal injury settlements, or never-ending complaints from their cantankerous client Lettie VanSandt ("eccentric" by some accounts, "certifiable" by others). When Lettie dies in a freakish fire, the Stones think it's certainly possible that she was cooking meth in her trailer. But details soon emerge that lead them to question how "accidental" her demise actually was, and settling her peculiar estate becomes endlessly complicated. Before long, the Stones find themselves entangled in a corporate conspiracy that will require all their legal skills--not to mention some difficult ethical choices--for them to survive. Meanwhile, Lisa is desperately trying to shield Joe from a secret, dreadful error that she would give anything to erase, even as his career--and her own--hangs in the balance. In The Jezebel Remedy, Clark gives us a stunning portrait of a marriage, an intricate tour of the legal system, and a relentlessly entertaining story that is full of inventions, shocks, and understanding. This eBook edition includes a Reading Group Guide.
The Job
by Steve Osborne"HOW YA DOIN'?" With these four syllables, delivered in an unmistakably authentic New York accent, Steve Osborne has riveted thousands of people at the legendary storytelling venue The Moth (and many tens of thousands more via YouTube) with his hilarious, profane, and touching tales from his twenty years as an NYPD street cop. Steve Osborne is the real deal, people: the tough, streetwise New York cop of your dreams, one with a big, big heart. Kojak? NYPD Blue? Law & Order? Fuggedaboudem! The Job blows them out of the water. Steve Osborne has seen a thing or two in his years in the NYPD--some harmless, some definitely not. In "Stakeout," Steve and his partner mistake a Manhattan dentist for an armed robbery suspect, and reduce the man to a puddle of snot and tears when questioning him. In "Mug Shot," the mother of a suspected criminal makes a strange request and provides a sobering reminder of the humanity at stake in his profession. And in "Home," the image of Steve's family provides the adrenaline he needs to fight for his life when assaulted by two armed and violent crackheads. From stories about his days as a rookie cop to the time spent patrolling in the Anti-Crime Unit--and his visceral, harrowing recollections of working during the weeks after 9/11--The Job: True Tales from the Life of a New York City Cop captures the humanity, the absurdity, and the dark humor of police work, as well as the bravery of those who do it. These stories will speak to those nostalgic for the New York City of the 1980s and '90s, a bygone era when the city was a crazier, more dangerous (and possibly more interesting) place.From the Hardcover edition.
The Joke Machine: 588 Jokes For Kids, Plus Learn To Create Millions Of Your Own!
by Theresa JulianA JOKE BOOK THAT TEACHES YOU HOW TO BE FUNNY!Follow a cast of fictional funny experts into the Laugh Lab, a hilarious joke-building factory that teaches middle-grade readers how to create their own jokes, puns, silly one-liners, and more. Each chapter explores a different style of joke making, such as surprise, understatement, and exaggeration, and includes hundreds of hilarious examples.By the end of the book, readers will have a set of tools in their joke belt to make their friends and family actually LOL.The book includes more than 500 family-friendly jokes—plus zillions that you can create on your own!
The Joke and Its Relation to the Unconscious
by Sigmund FreudWhy do we laugh? The answer, argued Freud in this groundbreaking study of humor, is that jokes, like dreams, satisfy our unconscious desires. The Joke and Its Relation to the Unconscious explains how jokes provide immense pleasure by releasing us from our inhibitions and allowing us to express sexual, aggressive, playful, or cynical instincts that would otherwise remain hidden. In elaborating this theory, Freud brings together a rich collection of puns, witticisms, one-liners, and anecdotes, which, as Freud shows, are a method of giving ourselves away. .
The Joke's On Me...!
by Mel Simonsfrom the book's back cover: "Hey, did you hear the one about the honest lawyer?.. "So, this priest says to a rabbi..." When it comes to comedy, nobody knows the comics and their jokes as well as Mel Simons. Mel has spent his entire career enjoying, collecting and chronicling the best of the best, whether it be the comedy of radio, TV, nightclubs or stand-up comedians. Take These Jokes, Please! is the latest in Mel’s prolific series of books, which cover radio, television, music, and comedians. Take These Jokes, Please! includes the jokes of the greatest of the greats, including comics who Mel knew personally, including entertainers like Milton Berle, Red Buttons and Joan Rivers. If you just like jokes for jokes’ sake, he has also placed humor into categories, such as “Lawyer Jokes” and “Bar Jokes.” Mel, an entertainer, lecturer, author and radio personality lives in Boston. His home boasts one of the largest collections of entertainment memorabilia any where.
The Joker
by Andrew HudginsFrom an award-winning poet and compulsive joke teller, a memoir about the jokes that educated him about history, religion, and family--delighting him, and often horrifying him, as he grew into adulthood.Since he was a child, Andrew Hudgins was an unabashed joke teller. When he decided to write about jokes, he discovered that he was actually writing about himself: what jokes had taught and mistaught him, how they often charmed him, and yet how they occasionally made him nervous with their frequent delight in chaos and anger. Born into an Air Force family, Hudgins spent his early childhood moving from base to base. He made friends by telling jokes to his classmates and observing how they responded. But jokes provided Hudgins with more than a source of amusement or a means to relate to friends. Jokes revealed a new world to him: the serious taboo subjects that his family didn't openly discuss--religion, race, sex, and death. In The Joker, Hudgins tells and analyzes the jokes that explore the contradictions in the Baptist religion he was raised in, the jokes that told him what his parents did not tell him about sex, and the racist jokes that divided his family. Hudgins also recounts the jokes he used to court his wife, writer Erin McGrath, and those they continue to tell as they renew their love for each other. Called "a treasure, a golden whoopee cushion, pearled set of chattery teeth" (Benjamin Percy, author of Red Moon, The Wilding, and Refresh, Refresh) and "an absolutely brilliant book, as necessary as it is pleasurable" (Richard Bausch, author of Something Is Out There), The Joker is creative nonfiction at its best, written by a man who knows how to tell a joke, make you laugh, and then dissect what makes it so funny--without killing the humor.
The Joker: Independent Reading 11 (Reading Champion #539)
by Kay WoodwardMilly was a joker - she just LOVED playing jokes on her family. But after a whole week of Milly tricking them, her family decide to play a joke of their own...Reading Champion offers independent reading books for children to practise and reinforce their developing reading skills.Fantastic, original stories are accompanied by engaging artwork and a reading activity. Each book has been carefully graded so that it can be matched to a child's reading ability, encouraging reading for pleasure.Independent Reading 11 stories are the perfect introduction to first chapter books for children aged 6+ who are reading at book band 11 in classroom reading lessons.
The Jokiest Joking Bathroom Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke!: 1,001 Hilarious Potty Jokes to Make You Laugh While You Go
by Amanda Brack May RocheEvery kid's favorite subject: bathroom humor!Inside are over a thousand knee-slapping bathroom jokes for kids, along with hundreds of silly illustrations!How can you distinguish your dad’s poop from others?It’s really corny.Why did the turd never get anything done?Because he was pooped.What do you call a kid with a bad case of the runs?Down in the dumps.Hilarious and more!
The Jokiest Joking Christmas Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke!: 525 Yuletide Gags, Santa Sillies, and Frosty Funnies (Jokiest Joking Joke Books #6)
by Brian Boone525 Christmas shenanigans to giggle all the way!Fa la la la la, la ha-ha-ha! Welcome to The Jokiest Joking Christmas Joke Book Ever...No Joke!–where you will find a jolly sleigh ride of jokes, giggles, gags, and Christmas joy that will have you snickering along with good ol’ St. Nick and all his reindeer friends. Get ready for the Santa season with enough laughs to shake your belly like a bowlful of jelly! This Christmas companion can fit just as easily inside your stocking as it can in your sleigh–so take it on the go-ho-ho! - 525 of the goofiest, kid-friendliest jokes for frosty fun - Splendid sillies for everyone on Santa’s good list - Festively funny illustrations for a jingle-belling good time Let your yuletide dreams be merry and bright with these funny one-liners, sparkling knock-knock jokes, snowy puns, and holiday chucklers that are sure to keep you laughing like it’s Christmas every day!
The Jokiest Joking Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke!: 2,001 Brand-New Side-Splitters That Will Keep You Laughing Out Loud (Jokiest Joking Joke Bks.)
by Kathi WagnerThe Jokiest Joking Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke! is the biggest, funniest, laugh-out-loudest joke book on the planet! Crack open this book to have everyone you know in stitches. Be ready for anything with jokes, puns, and riddles from a range of categories: celebrities, gadgets, video games, the classroom, zombies, and a bunch more! Complete with tons of awesome illustrations!- 2,001 unbeatable modern jokes- 400 showstopping illustrations- Have your friends rolling on the ground in no time!- Knock-knock jokes, puns, riddles, one-liners, and more!The hilarious one-liners, wisecracks, and gags will keep the shenanigans going for you, your friends, and anyone with a funny bone. With more than 2,000 kid-friendly side-splitters--from knock-knock jokes, to riddles and puns, to some of the silliest gut-busters ever--this book is more than a gigantic collection of wisecracks, it's a must-have for any jokester!
The Jokiest Joking Knock-Knock Joke Book Ever Written...No Joke!: 1,001 Brand-new Knee-slappers That Will Keep You Laughing Out Loud
by Brian Boone Amanda BrackKnock-knock. Who's there? Even more joking shenanigans!This outrageous book features hundreds of hilarious knock-knock jokes for kids, along with hundreds of clever illustrations.Knock-knock.Who's there?Lettuce.Lettuce who?Lettuce in and we'll tell you another knock-knock joke!Knock-Knock.Who's there?VeniceVenice who?Venice dinner?Knock-Knock.Who's there?Police.Police who?Police open the door!Knock-Knock.Who's there?Luke.Luke who?Luke before you leap.
The Jokiest Joking Puns Book Ever Written . . . No Joke!: 1,001 Brand-New Wisecracks That Will Keep You Laughing Out Loud (Jokiest Joking Joke Books)
by Brian BooneA pun-derful collection of jokes and wordplay for kidsThis hilarious collection of puns will delight kids of all ages. Featuring all-new jokes and accompanied by clever illustrations, The Jokiest Joking Puns Book Ever Written will keep kids amused for hours!Inside are gems like:What does a house wear? A dress.What do you call an alligator in a vest?An investigator.The birthday party was a disaster. Even the cake was in tiers. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear.
The Jokiest Joking Spooky Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke: 1,001 Giggling Gags About Goblins, Ghosts, and Ghouls (Jokiest Joking Joke Books #5)
by Brian BooneGet spooked by the kookiest and creepiest bunch of jokes there is!The Jokiest Joking Spooky Joke Book Ever . . . No Joke! is a haunted library full of ghoulish guffaws and giggles that will have you and all your favorite goblins laughing like jack-o’-lanterns! No nightlights necessary, this kid-friendly joke book is a puntastically playful tomb of fun. Take this cauldron companion anywhere, and you can bring even the most dead-boring situations howling back to life! - 1,001 of the silliest, kid-friendliest jokes for spooktacular fun- Funny stuff for all your best vampires, werewolves, witches, and Franken-friends- Lots of funnily frightening illustrations throughoutPerfect for scaredy-cats and ghost-lovers alike, these funny one-liners, knock-knock jokes, graveyard puns, and creepy-crawly chucklers will keep you screeching like it’s Halloween all year long. Keep your wits about you with this cackling crypt of must-LOL jokes!
The Jokiest Joking Trivia Book Ever Written . . . No Joke!: 1,001 Surprising Facts to Amaze Your Friends
by Brian Boone Amanda BrackA fun collection of incredible facts for curious kids!The Jokiest Joking Trivia Book Ever Written...No Joke! is chock-full of amazing facts about everything from food to travel to science to history! It's nothing but fun, with hand-drawn original illustations on nearly every page. Kids will love to impress their friends with their cool knowledge, and parents will be happy their kids are learning something.For example:There are exactly 206 bones in your body. (We counted.) More than half of those are in your hands, toes, fingers, and feet.Think how cold you are when you forget your winter coat. Now consider how cold you’d be without your skin. Your skin weighs the same as four heavy winter coats.
The Jolliest Bunch: Unhinged Holiday Stories
by Danny PellegrinoFrom the New York Times bestselling author of How Do I Un-Remember This? and host of the hit podcast Everything Iconic with Danny Pellegrino comes a collection of tragically hilarious holiday mishaps.For many families, the holiday season is—quite frankly—unhinged. Whether that involves inappropriately improvised monologues at the children's Christmas pageant, gifts that land someone in the emergency room, or just sitting through the emotional rollercoaster of a Hallmark movie marathon, the holidays are a chaotic and magical time. And nobody knows this better than Danny Pellegrino.For Danny, the holidays are always accompanied by both merriment and mayhem. And like the gay Ghost of Christmas Past, he's here to take you on a nostalgic trip through his most festive memories in a collection of stories that are heartfelt, hilarious, and (unfortunately) true. So grab your favorite winter beverage, snuggle up by the crackling fireplace, and turn up the holiday tunes from the pop diva of your choosing. The Jolliest Bunch is a healthy dose of holiday cheer to prepare you for the unhinged season ahead and remind you of the moments that make all the chaos worth it.
The Jones Family Express
by Javaka SteptoeEver since Steven was a little boy his Aunt Carolyn has gone traveling, and she always makes sure to send him a special postcard. Now Steven wants to find something special for Aunt Carolyn in time for the annual family block party. He tries several stores in his Brooklyn neighborhood, but he doesn't have enough money to buy the gift he wants. Giving up on a store-bought gift, Steven finds an old toy train at his uncle's cluttered apartment and creatively transforms it into “The Jones Family Express,” a movable family photo album Aunt Carolyn can take with her wherever she goes. Steven gets a special surprise too—a postcard from his aunt that's “Good for one trip with Aunt Carolyn.” The Jones Family Express is a delightful celebration of strong family ties and the ingenuity and creativity of one young boy. Javaka Steptoe's stunning and inventive mixed media collage illustrations, alive with color and texture, are sure to delight parents and children alike.