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The Geek's Guide to Dating
by Eric SmithYou keep your action figures in their original packaging. Your bedsheets are officially licensed Star Wars merchandise. You're hooked on Elder Scrolls and Metal Gear but now you've discovered an even bigger obsession: the new girl who just moved in down the hall. What's a geek to do? Take some tips from Eric Smith in The Geek's Guide to Dating. This hilarious primer leads geeks of all ages through the perils and pitfalls of meeting women, going on dates, getting serious, breaking up, and establishing a successful lifelong relationship (hint: it's time to invest in new bedsheets). Full of whimsical 8-bit illustrations, The Geek's Guide to Dating will teach fanboys everywhere to love long and prosper.
The Geeks' Guide to World Domination: Be Afraid, Beautiful People
by Garth SundemFrom the massive mind of alpha-geek Sundem comes the hacks, puzzles, and fantastically useless facts no self-respecting geek can possibly live a second longer without.
The Gem Collector
by P. G. WodehouseThe action begins with playboy bachelor Jimmy Pitt in New York; having fallen in love on a transatlantic liner, he befriends a small-time burglar and breaks into a police captain's house as a result of a bet. The cast of characters head to England, and from there on it is a typically Wodehousian romantic farce, set at the stately Dreever Castle, overflowing with imposters, detectives, crooks, scheming lovers, and conniving aunts.
The Genesis Glitch: A Ballashiels Mysteries short story (The Ballashiels Mysteries)
by Stewart FerrisDecember 2012. There is global paranoia surrounding the predicted event described in the ancient scrolls recently discovered in the Sphinx: the resurrection of ancient malevolence in the form of Halford. His body has been preserved for 12 millennia in such condition that reanimation might be possible using the genesis procedure.
The Genius Files #2: Never Say Genius
by Dan GutmanToday is Coke and Pepsi McDonald's thirteenth birthday. Someone's out to make sure they never make it to thirteen and a half. Racing across America, the twins will nearly be boiled alive in a huge basket of french fries, frozen to death by soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, kidnapped from a high-speed roller coaster, and worst of all their parents think they're totally joking! Will they survive? Will they defeat Archie Clone? Will they be dropped out of a helicopter onto the tip of the Washington Monument? Will they ever say "genius"?
The Genius Files #3: You Only Die Twice
by Dan GutmanThe most dangerous road trip in history continues for thirteen-year-old twins Coke and Pepsi McDonald. Just when they thought they were safe, the twins will be chased by an evil Elvis impersonator, trapped in a pool of flesh-eating soda pop, nearly pulverized in a giant shredder, and crushed in a turbo-charged carnival ride. worst of all, no one believes them! Will they make it out alive? Will they ever find out who’s really after them? All bets are off in this explosive third book in the Genius Files series!
The Genius Files #5: License to Thrill
by Dan GutmanThe wackiest road trip in history has reached its final destination. . . .But Coke and Pepsi McDonald aren't in the clear just yet! Before they reach the finish line, the twins will beAbducted by aliens,Trapped with a venomous snake,Pushed through a deadly turbine, andThrown into a volcano.Craziest of all, their parents might finally believe them!Will the twins make it back home to California in one piece, or will they fall off the top of the Golden Gate Bridge? It's all coming to an end with this fifth book in the Genius Files series. You'll have to read it to believe it!
The Genius Files 4-Book Collection
by Dan GutmanWith the real-kid humor that has earned Dan Gutman millions of fans around the world, and featuring weird-but-true American tourist destinations, The Genius Files is a one-of-a-kind mix of geography and fun. This collection includes the first four novels in this bestselling series.The Genius Files: Mission Unstoppable: The most exciting road trip in history begins! In this action-packed, New York Times bestselling adventure, twelve-year-old twins Coke and Pepsi McDonald embark on a family vacation you'll have to read to believe. As Coke and Pepsi dodge nefarious villains from the Pez museum in California all the way to the Infinity Room in Wisconsin, black-and-white photographs and maps put young readers right into the action.The Genius Files #2: Never Say Genius: Coke and Pepsi McDonald never asked to be geniuses. They never asked to get lowered into a basket of boiling French fries, either. And they certainly never asked to be frozen in soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, or kidnapped on a high-speed roller coaster. But that's what happens when a red-haired villain named Archie Clone is chasing you across America. This just might be the most dangerous road trip in history--and the most awesome!The Genius Files #3: You Only Die Twice: As the twins continue their family road trip from Washington D.C. through the South, it will take every bit of their genius abilities to outwit their wacky enemies. It doesn't help that their parents remain totally oblivious! When they finally get to Graceland, Elvis's home in Memphis, Tennessee, Coke and Pepsi come to an explosive conclusion you'll have to read to believe!The Genius Files #4: From Texas with Love: After their explosive escape at Graceland, twins Coke and Pepsi are ready to resume their trip across America. They travel through Arkansas and Oklahoma, visiting weird-but-true tourist stops along the way, and finally end up in Texas, home of the Weird Capital of the Country, Austin. The twins' many enemies--the bowler dudes, Mrs. Higgins, and Dr. Warsaw--all swear that they're done chasing Coke and Pepsi for good. But when the twins start receiving more codes and ciphers from a mysterious robotic voice, they know someone's after them. They just have to figure out who before the mystery villain finds them first.
The Genius Files: Mission Unstoppable
by Dan GutmanIn eight days, Coke and Pepsi McDonald are going to turn thirteen. Before then, they'll jump off a cliff, get trapped in the locked basement of their burning school, chased cross-country by murderous lunatics, left for dead in the pit of a sand dune, forced to decipher mysterious coded messages, thrown into a giant vat of SPAM, and visit the world's largest . . . ball of twine! There's more, but if we told you here, we'd have to kill you. Megapopular author Dan Gutman brings on the excitement with an action-packed new series that's nothing short of dynamite. Join Coke and Pep on their quest to uncover just what it means to be part of The Genius Files . . . if you dare!
The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
by James M. WhistlerWhistler's Gentle Art, a classic in the literature of insult and denigration, might well be subtitled "The Autobiography of a Hater," for it contains the deadly sarcasm and stinging remarks of one of the wittiest men of the nineteenth century. Whistler not only refused to tolerate misunderstanding by critics and the so-called art-loving public -- but launched vicious counterattacks as well. His celebrated passages-at-arms with Oscar Wilde and Swinburne, the terse and penetrating "letters to the editor," his rebuttals to attacks from critics, and biting marginal notes to contemptuous comments on his paintings and hostile reviews (which are also reprinted) are all part of this record of the artist's vendettas.Whistler's most famous battle began when critic John Ruskin saw one of the artist's "Nocturnes" exhibited in Grosvenor Gallery. "I have seen, and heard," wrote Ruskin, "much of cockney impudence before now; but never expected to hear a coxcomb ask two hundred guineas for flinging a pot of paint in the public's face." Whistler was incensed with this criticism, and initiated the famous libel case "Whistler vs. Ruskin." Extracts from the resultant trial record are among the highlights of this book, with Whistler brilliantly annihilating his Philistine critics, but winning only a farthing in damages.The Gentle Art, designed by Whistler himself, is a highly entertaining account of personal revenges, but it is also an iconoclast's plea for a new and better attitude toward painting. As a historical document, it is the best statement of the new aesthetics versus the old guard academics, and it helped greatly in shaping the modern feeling toward art.
The Gentleman's Bedside Companion
by Tom CutlerDelightful Things to Read About Before the Snoring Starts Have you ever found that once you are between the sheets, Madame Bovary is too heavy, magazines are too slippery, and Crime and Punishment is too long? The Gentleman's Bedside Companion is the answer-a bracing collection of information, humor, and curiosities that will help every man make his mark on the world with panache. Spanning the arts, sciences, sports, and the opposite sex, topics include: Bananas as proof of God's existence Great bits from the Bible Famous painters and how they died The Monkees, a potted history All about submarines Useful foreign pickup lines An international swearing dictionary Let the horizontal reading begin. Watch a Video .
The Gentleman's Guide to Getting Lucky (Montague Siblings Novella #1.5)
by Mackenzi Lee“The queer teen historical you didn’t know was missing from your life.” — Teen Vogue, on The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and VirtueIn this funny and frothy novella that picks up where the New York Times bestselling The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue leaves off, freshly minted couple Monty and Percy fumble through their first time together.Monty’s epic grand tour may be over, but now that he and Percy are finally a couple, he realizes there is something more nerve-wracking than being chased across Europe: getting together with the person you love.Will the romantic allure of Santorini make his first time with Percy magical, or will all the anticipation and build-up completely spoil the mood?
The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide: Become An Expert In Everything
by Tom CutlerWho has time nowadays to put in the graft to succeed? And why bother, when the truly important things in life only take a quarter of an hour to master?Here, Tom Cutler proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers. Learn how to become as popular as your dog.Which sports car suits your personality?How to work out the date of your death.Are you a genius? With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and work colleagues. From the author of the brilliant A Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.
The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide: Become an Expert in Everything
by Tom CutlerWho has time nowadays to put in the graft to succeed? And why bother, when the truly important things in life only take a quarter of an hour to master?Here, Tom Cutler proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers. Learn how to become as popular as your dog.Which sports car suits your personality?How to work out the date of your death.Are you a genius? With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and work colleagues. From the author of the brilliant A Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.
The Gentleman: A Novel
by Forrest LeoA funny, fantastically entertaining debut novel, in the spirit of Wodehouse and Monty Python, about a famous poet who inadvertently sells his wife to the devil--then recruits a band of adventurers to rescue her.When Lionel Savage, a popular poet in Victorian London, learns from his butler that they're broke, he marries the beautiful Vivien Lancaster for her money, only to find that his muse has abandoned him. Distraught and contemplating suicide, Savage accidentally conjures the Devil -- the polite "Gentleman" of the title -- who appears at one of the society parties Savage abhors. The two hit it off: the Devil talks about his home, where he employs Dante as a gardener; Savage lends him a volume of Tennyson. But when the party's over and Vivien has disappeared, the poet concludes in horror that he must have inadvertently sold his wife to the dark lord. Newly in love with Vivian, Savage plans a rescue mission to Hell that includes Simmons, the butler; Tompkins, the bookseller; Ashley Lancaster, swashbuckling Buddhist; Will Kensington, inventor of a flying machine; and Savage's spirited kid sister, Lizzie, freshly booted from boarding school for a "dalliance." Throughout, his cousin's quibbling footnotes to the text push the story into comedy nirvana.Lionel and his friends encounter trapdoors, duels, anarchist-fearing bobbies, the social pressure of not knowing enough about art history, and the poisonous wit of his poetical archenemy. Fresh, action-packed and very, very funny, The Gentleman is a giddy farce that recalls the masterful confections of P.G. Wodehouse and Hergé's beautifully detailed Tintin adventures.
The Geographer's Map to Romance (Love's Academic)
by India HoltonGeography professors in a failed marriage of convenience inconveniently reconnect for an emergency mission in this swoony historical-fantasy rom-com.Professor Elodie Tarrant is an expert in magic disasters. Nothing fazes her—except her own personal disaster, that is: Professor Gabriel Tarrant, the grumpy, unfriendly man she married for convenience a year ago, whom she secretly loves.Gabriel is also an expert in magic disasters. And nothing fazes him either—except the walking, talking tornado that is his wife. They&’ve been estranged since shortly after their wedding day, but that hasn&’t stopped him from stoically pining for her.When magic erupts in a small Welsh village, threatening catastrophe for the rest of Britain, Elodie and Gabriel are accidentally both assigned to the case. With the fate of the country in their hands, they must come together as a team in the face of perilous conditions like explosions, domesticated goats, and only one bed. But this is easier said than done. After all, there's no navigational guide for the geography of the heart.
The Geomancer's Compass
by Melissa HardyThis futuristic novel has all the elements YA fiction needs to draw critical attention from reviewers, and to elicit award-nominations. It is thematically interesting, culturally diverse, well-written, futuristic, and very funny. Set in the year 2021, this fantastic YA novel explores the tension between a young woman's future building infrastructure for Augmented Reality, and the commitment she makes to her dying grandmother to honour ancient Chinese magic. The Geomancer's Compass imagines a world in the near future while exploring the Chinese immigrant experience and the expanding, elastic and shifting nature of reality.
The Geometry of Holding Hands: An Isabel Dalhousie Novel (13) (Isabel Dalhousie Novels #13)
by Alexander McCall SmithTHE THIRTEENTH INSTALLMENT OF THE MUCH-LOVED ISABEL DALHOUSIE SERIESWhen Isabel Dalhousie and her husband Jamie book a table at an expensive Edinburgh restaurant, she finds herself battling with her conscience. Lately, there has been a lull in work for the Review of Applied Ethics, and the care of their young sons, Charlie and Magnus, is often undertaken by their housekeeper Grace. Is Isabel deserving of such a luxurious dinner?But Isabel holds herself to impossible moral standards. Not so, the parents of one of Jamie's students, who have no qualms about ensuring their son's place in the school orchestra, despite his mediocre talent. In the restaurant, Isabel witnesses a row between local businessmen; another reminder that thoughtless ambition is too often second nature to others.Compelled to intervene in the aftermath, Isabel's sense of integrity is observed by a fellow diner, Iain Melrose, who seeks out her help. He must decide which of his remaining relatives should one day inherit his estate. Isabel, he believes, would make a just executor of his will.While she deliberates, another troubling situation arises with her niece, Cat, whose relationship with the unlikeable Leo is causing her to behave recklessly, putting Isabel in a very difficult position. Faced with such weighty decisions, can Isabel balance compassion and integrity to make the right choice for all, and to protect those she holds dear to her heart?
The George W. Bush Quiz Book
by Paul SlanskyA hilarious “quizography” on the dumbfounding life of George W. BushPop QuizGeorge W. Bush is:the greatest American statesman since Abraham Lincoln.a champion of the underdog and a thorn in the side of the wealthy.articulate, thoughtful, and judicious—a very, very wise man.linguistically challenged (“I know how hard it is to put food on your family”), proudly ignorant (he actually boasts about not reading newspapers), and inexplicably addicted to nicknaming (aide Karl Rove is “Turd Blossom”)—in short, the least qualified, most polarizing figure ever to be appointed President of the United States, and the only White House occupant to have once been videotaped picking his nose. If you answered d, this book is for you. In The George W. Bush Quiz Book, New Yorker humorist and bestselling author of The Clothes Have No Emperor, Paul Slansky, brings you a comical compendium of quizzes filled with hundreds of questions and answers on the personal and political life of George W. The result is a crash course in everything Dubya. Thoroughly researched and devastatingly funny, now there’s finally a quiz George W. Bush should be able to ace (pass).
The Get Fuzzy Experience: Are You Bucksperienced
by Darby ConleySyndicated by United Feature Syndicate, Get Fuzzy appears in 250 newspapers, from the Los Angeles Times to the Detroit Free Press to the Philadelphia Enquirer. Darby Conley's first book, This Dog Is Not a Toy, sold more than 115,000 copies; his second book, Fuzzy Logic, more than 85,000.When he was a child, Darby Conley used to wonder what his beloved pooch was thinking. That curiosity led to his creation of the hilarious strip Get Fuzzy in 1999, which has rapidly become one of the most popular cartoons in newspaper syndication. Showcasing the relationship between Bucky, a temperamental cat with an attitude; the sweet and sensitive dog Satchel; and their mild-mannered human companion, Rob Wilco, Get Fuzzy has cornered the market on anthropomorphic antics.Anyone who finds animals both amazing and amusing will find this new Get Fuzzy collection one of the most bitingly funny books ever printed.
The Get Rich Quick Club
by Dan GutmanWe, the members of the Get Rich Quick Club, in order to form a more perfect summer, vow that we will figure out a way to make a million dollars by September. We agree that neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night will prevent us from achieving our stated goal, till death do us part. Gina Tumolo and her Get Rich Quick Club are determined to make their summer pay off. They're going to make a pact and hatch a scheme, and their small-town life will never be the same again.
The Getaway List: A Novel
by Emma LordInescapably romantic and brimming with New York Times bestselling author Emma Lord’s signature cheer, The Getaway List is an uplifting and romantic read that will settle into your heart and never leave. Most Anticipated by Goodreads * The Nerd Daily * B&N Reads, and more! An Amazon Best YA of the Month The day of her high school graduation, Riley realizes two things: One, that she has spent the last four years trying so hard to be a Good Kid for her mom that she has no idea who she really is anymore, and two, she has no idea what she wants because of it. The solution? Pack her bags and move to New York for the summer, where her childhood best friend Tom and co-creator of The Getaway List — a list of all the adventures they’ve wanted to do together since he moved away — will hopefully help her get in touch with her old adventurous self, and pave the road to a new future.Riley isn’t sure what to expect from Tom, who has been distant since his famous mom’s scriptwriting career pulled him away. But when Riley arrives in the city, their reconnection is as effortless as it was when they were young―except with one, unexpected complication that will pull Riley’s feelings in a direction she didn’t know they could take. As she, Tom, and their newfound friends work their way through the delightfully chaotic items on The Getaway List, Riley learns that sometimes the biggest adventure is not one you take, but one you feel in your heart.
The Ghost Next Door (Goosebumps #29)
by R.L. StineFrom the New York Times–bestselling Goosebumps series, a tween makes friends with the kid living in an abandoned house next door and suspects he’s a ghost.Hannah’s neighborhood has just gotten a little—weird. Ever since that new boy moved in next door. But when did he move in? Wasn’t the house empty when Hannah went to sleep the night before? Why does it still look so deserted? She’s not getting any answers from her new neighbor. He just keeps disappearing in the oddest ways. And he’s so pale. . . . Is Hannah being haunted by . . . the ghost next door?
The Ghost Rules
by Adam RosenbaumTwelve-year-old Elwood McGee never asked to have &“ghost-sight,&” and it involves a lot more drool-dodging than he expected. Ghosts are the WORST—and they're all over the place in this sharp-witted middle grade debut novel.Did you know that ghosts love coffee? They&’re not trying to be scary. They&’re just deprived of an appropriate amount of caffeine! They also bump into things by accident, are occasionally nosy, and get a little nervous when they&’re seen by the living. Elwood McGee knows these ghost facts because he&’s one of those rare people with the gift of ghost-sight. And it turns out ghosts are everywhere! Especially in the small Tennessee town where Elwood and his family had to move following the death of his big brother Noah, which Elwood thinks was his fault. Once Elwood figures out he can see ghosts, he becomes single-mindedly determined to use his powers to see Noah and talk to him once last time. With the help of two girls who live on his street, Elwood embarks on a journey through the surprisingly funny world of ghosts and faces the realities of letting go. At once hilarious and heart wrenching, Adam Rosenbaum makes his middle grade debut with a supernaturalish novel about grief that&’s perfect for fans of Gordon Korman and Dan Gutman.A Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection
The Ghost Soldiers: Poems
by James TatePulitzer Prize–winning poet James Tate returns with his fifteenth book of poetry, an exciting new collection that offers nearly one hundred fresh and thought-provoking pieces that embody Tate's trademark style and voice: his accessibility, his dark humor, and his exquisite sense of the absurd. Tate's work is stark—he writes in clear, everyday language—yet his seemingly simple and macabre stories are layered with broad and trenchant meaning. His characters are often lost or confused, his settings bizarre, his scenarios brilliantly surreal. Opaque, inscrutable people float through a dreamlike world where nothing is as it seems. The Ghost Soldiers offers resounding proof, once again, that Tate stands alone in American poetry.