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Splinters
by Kevin SylvesterCindy Winters loves to play hockey. When her family's basement apartment is flooded and the floor freezes, she's even happy to skate on the concrete. Her parents are too poor to enroll her in a league, but she's resourceful and does odd jobs until she has earned enough money to play. Armed with her mother's old equipment, she is thrilled to join a team. But her happiness doesn't last long. Among her teammates are the horrible Blister Sisters. They make her life miserable. And worse, Cindy's sidelined by the coach, who just happens to be Mrs. Blister. It looks like she'll be spending the season cleaning equipment, instead of playing on the ice. Cindy's luck changes when her Fairy Goaltender appears and saves the day. With its great good humor and hilarious illustrations, Kevin Sylvester's Splinters is bound to become a favorite.
Splish-Splash Spring! (Pictureback(R))
by Liza Alexander Joe EwersSpring showers bring flowers and fun to Sesame Street in this sweet rhyming storybook! Elmo and friends say, "So long, winter!" by splashing in puddles and dancing in the rain--just what girls and boys ages 3 to 6 love doing on a drizzly spring day!
Split Ends
by Rick Carton Charles OgdenTwo heads are better than one... With nothing less than the future of humanity at stake, it's up to Edgar and Ellen to thwart Stephanie Knightleigh's dastardly scheme to raid all the world's balm springs -- even if it means separating for the first time in their lives. Edgar's pursuit of the Midway Irregulars leads him to the forests of Cougar Falls and an unlikely partnership with an eccentric professional monster hunter, while Ellen and Pet find themselves in the decidedly inhospitable town of Lach Lufless. But can Edgar survive without Ellen's quick wits? Can Ellen survive without Edgar's satchel of tricks? And can either of them survive when their most important allies have become deadly enemies?
Split Just Right
by Adele GriffinDanny lives in her mother&’s world of make-believe, but all she wants is the truthDandelion Finzimer&’s mother has always wanted to get her daughter on the stage. Mrs. Finzimer is an actress—aspiring, anyway—who makes a living teaching and doing commercials, but lives for the applause she earns as a member of the Bellmont Players. Danny has no talent for acting—she couldn&’t even play Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker—but whether she realizes it or not, she&’s part of a play. Because no matter how tough things get, Danny&’s mom is always acting happy, telling subtly shifting stories, and doing her best to put a smile on her daughter&’s face. This used to be OK, but Danny is in ninth grade now, and high school is a time to face the truth. She has questions about her father, who left when she was a baby, and her paternal grandparents, who live less than an hour away. Getting answers will mean acting serious, and for this quirky young woman, that will be the performance of a lifetime. This ebook features a personal history by Adele Griffin including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author&’s own collection.
Split Screen
by Brent HartingerIt's a horror-movie extravaganza in this companion to Brent Hartinger's Geography Club! Two books in one recount the stories of best friends Min and Russel who sign up to be extras on the set of a zombie film - then learn that there's nothing scarier than high school romance! Read one story, flip the book over, and read the other! In Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies, Russel must choose between his long-distance boyfriend and a close-to-home ex who wants to get back together. In Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies, Min struggles to accept her cheerleader girlfriend's decision to stay in the closet. Russel and Min's separate stories affect each other in surprising ways - but you'll have to read both books to find out how!
Splotch
by Gianna MarinoAn unsuspecting boy, his dead pet fish, and his well-intentioned mother make this a must-read for fans of The Bear Ate Your Sandwich and I Want My Hat Back.Splotch was meant to be in his bowl when his boy got home from school--but he isn't there! There's only one conclusion: he must have run away. But when he mysteriously returns, all is well again. Except...Splotch's distinctive spot has moved and the only explanation is that he has been CHANGED BY ALIENS! When the spot moves yet again, it's clear something fishy is going on. This hilarious story poses the question that, when it comes to this family, who is protecting whom?Spot-on kid-humor and splashy illustrations are a signature of Gianna Marino's work. The perfect follow-up to I Am the Mountain Mouse and Night Animals, Splotch! will not disappoint!
Spoiled Brats: Stories
by Simon RichTwenty years ago, Barney the Dinosaur told the nation's children they were special. We're still paying the price.From "one of the funniest writers in America"* comes a collection of stories culled from the front lines of the millennial culture wars. Rife with failing rock bands, student loans, and participation trophies, Spoiled Brats is about a generation of narcissists-and the well-meaning boomers who made them that way.A hardworking immigrant is preserved for a century in pickle brine. A helicopter mom strives to educate her demon son. And a family of hamsters struggles to survive in a private-school homeroom. Surreal, shrewd, and surprisingly warm, these stories are as resonant as they are hilarious. *Jimmy So, Daily Beast
Spoiled Rotten America: Outrages of Everyday Life
by Larry MillerLike Kofi Annan, Larry Miller is one of the most irresistible comic personalities working today. Known for years as an actor, writer, comedian, and sexual pioneer, he's gained a new following as a cultural commentator and frequent guest on political shows. Now, in Spoiled Rotten America, he fixes his gaze on what's funny about our daily lives—which includes, roughly speaking, everything. From middle-aged drinking ("When you're in your twenties, you can drink all night and bungee-jump off a bridge the next day. If I drank all night, I'd want to go off that bridge without the cord") to the excesses of our eating habits ("This is why the world hates us: the size of the portions we order. Thank God they've never shown us eating on Al Jazeera—that would be the end of it"), Miller finds the silver lining of absurdity within every black cloud.Ultimately, though, Spoiled Rotten America is more than just the average yukfest. It's an insightful, and surprisingly heartfelt, plea for us to notice what's best and worst about ourselves. "The American pendulum only swings to extremes," he writes. "The news is on all day, but we know less and less; there's music in every mall, but we don't hear it; everyone has a phone but nothing to say. The chubbiest of us have the strictest diets, because we can't learn to modulate and moderate. It's all or nothing. One bite of a cookie, and suddenly you're on a plane to Vegas with a hooker. To the Cranky Nitpickers of America—a club I'd join in a second if I weren't already its president—it's long been understood that the world is going to Hell in a handbasket."What better time for a collection of seventeen comic essays?"What better time indeed.
The Spoiler
by Annalena McafeeA dark hyper-comedy set in London in the late 1990s during the last gasp of the newspaper wars just before the dot-com tidal wave--about two female journalists at opposite ends of their life and work who become locked in a fierce tango of wills and whose lives are forever changed by their (not-so-) brief (head-on) encounter.At the novel's center--a legendary prize-winning war correspondent (called in her day "The Newsroom Dietrich" because of her luminescent beauty) now in her eighties, at the end of her career, who, over the decades, as the intrepid golden girl of the press, has been on the front lines or in the foxholes of every major theater of war of the twentieth century (Madrid; Normandy; Buchenwald; Berlin; Algiers; Korea; Vietnam). She is recognized everywhere (she finds fame mortifying these days); lionized for her fearless, politically informed, objective reporting; and now, though fragile and in an accelerating decline, her goddess-like beauty long gone, her style of writing--unbiased reportage--obsolete in the age of New Journalism, is rediscovered with the reissue of her frontline journalism, and the about-to-be-published collection of her Pulitzer Prize-winning dispatches. The other, a young up-and-not-so-coming reporter in her twenties; a degree in media studies, a freelance editor who compiles A-lists (Ten Best / Ten Worst; What's In / What's Out) for a down-market magazine of a newspaper specializing in celebrity gossip, unexpectedly sent to write a feature on the venerated "doyenne of British journalists"--to get the dirt on her glittering Hollywood days, her many affairs and three marriages...What ensues is a high-stakes, high-risk battle of wit and wills as lives are shaken, secrets unearthed, and headlines blast (unconfirmed) "truths," with one newspaper--the spoiler--playing off against another in a ruthless, desperate grab for sensation and circulation.
Spoiler Alert: A Novel
by Olivia DadeOlivia Dade bursts onto the scene in this delightfully fun romantic comedy set in the world of fanfiction, in which a devoted fan goes on an unexpected date with her celebrity crush, who’s secretly posting fanfiction of his own. Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet’s favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he’d be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she’s long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her “real life”—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction.On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she’s Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus’s career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?
Spoiler Alert: a delightfully fun romantic comedy
by Olivia Dade'An absolute joy from the first page to the last' Jen DeLucaOne of Bustle's Best Books of 2020Marcus has a secret. While he may be the star of the biggest show on TV, he's also a prolific fan fiction writer. Through his stories, Marcus releases his frustrations with the show, but if anyone ever found out about his online persona, he'd be fired. Immediately.April has secrets of her own. A hardcore fan of Marcus's show, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobby from her 'real life' - but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her critics, truth officially becomes stranger than (fan) fiction . . .On their date, Marcus quickly realises that he wants much more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But with so many secrets between them, can they ever stop hiding, or will a match made in fandom never make it in real life?With romance, amazing chemistry, fandom, and body positivity, Spoiler Alert is perfect for fans of Talia Hibbert and Abby Jimenez.Praise for Olivia Dade:'Spoiler Alert is a delight. April and Marcus will melt your heart' Jenny Holiday'A gentle, funny, and sexy romance that captivated me from the first page and kept me enthralled to the very (happy) end' Mia Sosa'Olivia Dade's warm and witty voice makes this book an absolute joy to read . . . I'm very much looking forward to whatever Dade writes next' Lucy Parker'With richly drawn characters you'll love to root for, Olivia Dade's books are a gem of the genre - full of humour, heart and heat' Kate Clayborn'Olivia Dade perfectly captures fandom, love, and acceptance in this incredible, delightful novel. I loved every page!' Jessie Mihalik'Romance gold . . . a sparkling jolt of fangirling, body-positive swoons' Entertainment Weekly
Spondulix: A Romance of Hoboken
by Paul Di FilippoThe author with &“a humanity worthy of Dickens or Hardy&” delivers a novel of alternative currency and the price of wealth (Publishers Weekly). You can try to escape from the mundane, or with the help of Paul Di Filippo, you can take a brief, meaningful break from it. In the vein of George Saunders or Michael Chabon, Di Filippo uses the tools of science fiction and the surreal to take a deep, richly felt look at humanity. His brand of funny, quirky, thoughtful, fast-moving, heart-warming, brain-bending stories exist across the entire spectrum of the fantastic from hard science fiction to satire to fantasy and on to horror, delivering a riotously entertaining string of modern fables and stories from tomorrow, now and anytime. After you read Paul Di Filippo, you&’ll no longer see everyday life quite the same. For most people, as they say, money makes the world go &‘round. For Rory Honeyman, it&’s a different story. Having inadvertently and, almost without noticing, invented a new form of cash cow, money makes Rory&’s world go strangely pear-shaped and out-of-control. He has an endless supply of blank checks that never bounce but he&’s being guided by an albino, hustled by a saline-snorting sandwich-obsessed gourmet, manipulated by a devious banker and befuddled and bemused by a never-ending assortment of attractive and baffling women. And, for reasons unknown and unknowable, after racing from the Great Plains to Mexico City to Canada to Europe, he&’s stuck in Hoboken and there appears to be no way out. Originally published: 2004
Spontaneous
by Aaron Starmer<p>A darkly funny and spectacularly original exploration of friendship, goodbyes--and spontaneous combustion. <p>Mara Carlyle's senior year is going as normally as could be expected, until--wa-bam!--fellow senior Katelyn Ogden explodes during third period pre-calc. <p>Katelyn is the first, but she won't be the last teenager to blow up without warning or explanation. As the seniors continue to pop like balloons and the national eye turns to Mara's suburban New Jersey hometown, the FBI rolls in and the search for a reason is on. <p>Whip-smart and blunt, Mara narrates the end of their world as she knows it while trying to make it to graduation in one piece. It's an explosive year punctuated by romance, quarantine, lifelong friendship, hallucinogenic mushrooms, bloggers, ice cream trucks, "Snooze Button," Bon Jovi, and the filthiest language you've ever heard from the President of the United States. <p>Aaron Starmer rewrites the rulebook with <i>Spontaneous</i>. But beneath the outrageous is a ridiculously funny, super honest, and truly moving exemplar of the absurd and raw truths of being a teenager in the 21st century . . . and the heartache of saying goodbye.
The Spookiest Tricks & Treats Joke Book Ever!
by Editors of Portable PressTurn Halloween from scary to silly with hundreds of kid-friendly jokes!Get ready for Halloween with more than 900 brand-new Q&A jokes, knock-knocks, puns, riddles, and one-liners. The Spookiest Tricks & Treats Joke Book Ever! contains all types of kid-friendly jokes that are perfect to tell while trick-or-treating or at a spooky party. Whether your kids prefer to dress up as monsters or superheroes, they’ll laugh out loud at jokes such as... Q: What did one zombie say to the other zombie? A: “Get a life!” Q: Where do mummies go for pizza? A: Pizza Tut Q: What happened when the werewolf swallowed the clock? A: He got ticks.
A Spooky Adventure (Step into Reading)
by Apple JordanBuzz Lightyear and Woody are always up for an adventure. But when they discover that their new home is full of squeaks, creaks, and shadows, will they be brave enough to explore it? Join the toys as they set off on one very spooky adventure—just in time for Halloween! Children ages 4 to 6 will love this Step 2 reader based on Disney•Pixar Toy Story 3.
Spooky Buddies Junior Novel
by Disney Book GroupThe puppies embark on a spooky adventure in this junior novelization of the Disney Buddies film.
Spooky Friends: Spooky Friends (Scholastic Reader, Level 2)
by Jane FederCan a vampire and a mummy learn to share?Scarlet is a feisty little Vampire, and her best friend, Igor, is a roly-poly little Mummy. Together, they star in three humorous, heartwarming stories about two friends who never agree on anything. That is -- until they discover different ideas can become even better ideas when they cooperate!
Spooky Jokes: The Ultimate Collection of Un-boo-lievable Jokes and Quips
by Robin GravesWhat’s invisible and smells like zombies? Zombie farts!This creepy collection of ghoulish gags and haunting howlers will have the whole family cackling in no time – guaranteed to tickle your funny bones!
Spooky Jokes for Kids: Over 300 Halloween jokes! (Joke Books for Kids #3)
by Elle OwellWhy are graveyards so noisy?Because of all the coffin!Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?It had no body to go with!This spook-tacular collection of over 300 jokes will have your friends and family howling with laughter! With creepy illustrations on every page, this is a great Halloween treat that is sure to have kids in stitches. A hilarious addition to your Halloween celebrations.
Spooky Little Girl
by Laurie NotaroDeath is what happens while you're busy making other plans. Coming home from a Hawaiian vacation with her best girlfriends, Lucy Fisher is stunned to find everything she owns tossed out on her front lawn, the locks changed, and her fiancé's phone disconnected--plus she's just lost her job. With her world spinning wildly out of her control, Lucy decides to make a new start and moves upstate to live with her sister and nephew.But then things take an even more dramatic turn: A fatal encounter with public transportation lands Lucy not in the hereafter but in the nearly hereafter. She's back in school, learning the parameters of spooking and how to become a successful spirit in order to complete a ghostly assignment. If Lucy succeeds, she's guaranteed a spot in the next level of the afterlife--but until then, she's stuck as a ghost in the last place she would ever want to be.Trying to avoid being trapped on earth for all eternity, Lucy crosses the line between life and death and back again when she returns home. Navigating the perilous channels of the paranormal, she's determined to find out why her life crumbled and why, despite her ghastly death, no one seems to have noticed she's gone. But urgency on the spectral plane--in the departed person of her feisty grandmother, who is risking both their eternal lives--requires attention, and Lucy realizes that you get only one chance to be spectacular in death.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Spoon: A Read-Along Book (The Spoon Series #1)
by Amy Krouse RosenthalMeet Spoon. He's always been a happy little utensil. But lately, he feels like life as a spoon just isn't cutting it. He thinks Fork, Knife, and The Chopsticks all have it so much better than him. But do they? And what do they think about Spoon? A book for all ages, Spoon serves as a gentle reminder to celebrate what makes us each special.
Spoonbenders: A hilarious and heartwarming family drama, a BBC Radio 2 Book Club pick
by Daryl Gregory'As gripping as it is hilarious' Steven Rowley'Funny and charming . . . magical' New York Times Book Review'Hilarious' GuardianTeddy, Maureen, Frankie, Irene and Buddy were the Amazing Telemachus Family, who achieved widespread fame for their magic and mind reading act. Until, that is, the magic decided to disappear one night, live on national television.We encounter this long-forgotten family two decades on, when grandson Matty, born long after the public fall from grace, discovers powers in himself - and thus realises his dispirited, dysfunctional family members are actually amazing after all.Spoonbenders is the legacy and legend of the Telemachus family, across three generations of big personalities and socially inept recluses: each with a tarnished reputation, each now tasked with finding redemption...
A Spoonful of Magic
by Irene RadfordA delightful new urban fantasy about a kitchen witch and her magical familyDaphne "Daffy" Rose Wallace Deschants has an ideal suburban life—three wonderful and talented children; a coffee shop and bakery, owned and run with her best friend; a nearly perfect husband, Gabriel, or "G" to his friends and family. Life could hardly be better.But G's perfection hides dangerous secrets. When Daffy uncovers evidence of his infidelity, her perfect life seems to be in ruins. On their wedding anniversary, Daffy prepares to confront him, only to be stopped in her tracks when he foils a mugging attempt using wizard-level magic. Suddenly, Daphne is part of a world she never imagined--where her husband is not a traveling troubleshooter for a software company, but the sheriff of the International Guild of Wizards, and her brilliant children are also budding magicians. Even she herself is not just a great baker and barista—she's actually a kitchen witch. And her discovery of her powers is only just beginnning. But even the midst of her chaotic new life, another problem is brewing. G's ex-wife, a dangerous witch, has escaped from her magical prison. Revenge-bent and blind, she needs the eyes of her son to restore her sight—the son Daffy has raised as her own since he was a year old. Now Daphne must find a way to harness her new powers and protect her family—or risk losing everything she holds dear.
A Spoonful of Murder (A Murder Most Unladylike Mystery)
by Robin StevensHazel and Daisy find themselves embroiled in a mystery while in Hong Kong—and one of them winds up on the suspect list—in this gripping sixth novel of the Murder Most Unladylike Mystery series.When Hazel Wong&’s beloved grandfather passes away, Daisy Wells accompanies her best friend (and Detective Society vice president) to Hazel&’s family estate in beautiful, bustling Hong Kong. But when they arrive, they discover something they didn&’t expect: a new baby brother for Hazel! Hazel and Daisy think a surprise sibling is enough to be getting on with, but where they go, mystery always follows. And when tragedy strikes very close to home, this time Hazel isn&’t just the detective on the case… She&’s been framed for murder! Now the girls must work together to confront dangerous gangs, mysterious suspects, and sinister private detectives to solve the murder and clear Hazel&’s name before it&’s too late.
Spooning
by Darri Stephens Megan DesalesTake one kitchen, add six friends, combine with a dash of romance, and stir. Meet Charlotte--a.k.a. Charlie--Brown: a recent college grad and newly minted New Yorker, eager to begin her grown-up life. All kinds of "firsts" await her in the big city: her first real job, first loves, first heartaches, and most important, her first time living on her own. Enter Charlie's mom, who subtly suggests that her daughter might want to learn some grown-up skills--like cooking--to go with her fifth-floor walk-up.Together with her friends, Charlie forms a cooking club to convene once a month, to share food and swap recipes, and to gossip about the drama of their new lives. Charlie has lots to dish about when she lands a job as an assistant to Jane Dough, the domestic diva of daytime television. As the girls begin to gain some culinary expertise, Charlie decides to use her newfound skills to ensnare the man of her dreams: a certain Mr. J. P. Morgan, a roguish investment banker who can charm Charlie with a glance but remains hopelessly aloof. Yet as Charlie becomes ever savvier in the kitchen, she grows savvier about love as well--and begins to realize that even the most delicious-looking package can lack substance and real flavor underneath.With a sparkling voice that bubbles along like champagne fizz, Spooning is an irresistible tale of food, friendship, and what it takes to find the perfect recipe for romance.