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The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
by Bobby HendersonCAN I GET A "RAMEN" FROM THE CONGREGATION?! Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today's fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM's devout followers, a. k. a. Pastafarians? Some say it's the assuring touch from the FSM's "noodly appendage. " Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church's flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match-and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden. Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts- dispelling such malicious myths as evolution ("only a theory"), science ("only a lot of theories"), and whether we're really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99. 9 percent with pirates!) See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say: "If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory. " -Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph. D. "Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative 'theories' like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice. " -J. Simon, Ph. D. "In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory. " -Afshin Beheshti, Ph. D. Read the book and decide for yourself!
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
by Bobby HendersonCAN I GET A “RAMEN” FROM THE CONGREGATION?!Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM’s devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it’s the assuring touch from the FSM’s “noodly appendage.” Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church’s flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match–and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say:“If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory.”–Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D. “Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative ‘theories’ like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.”–J. Simon, Ph.D.“In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory.”–Afshin Beheshti, Ph.D.Read the book and decide for yourself!From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Gothamites
by Eno RaudFrom Estonia's most celebrated children's author Eno Raud, comes a spirited tale of the wise, turned utterly foolish Gothamites, on a journey to capture light, solve riddles, and make sense of the world without a "grain of wisdom." Through Pritt Parn's brilliant and overflowing illustrations, the world of Gotham bounds beyond each page.In a faraway land live a bright, industrious people called the Gothamites. They are known for being model citizens, so much so that other communities constantly call upon them for advice, leaving the Gothamites with no time for themselves. Fed up, they hit on a solution: they'll become the most foolish people around: after all, no one wants foolish advice. Chaos ensues, brilliantly captured by Eno Raud's wordplay and Priit Parn's crowded illustrations. From one of Estonia's most cherished children's authors comes the spirited tale of a town that decides to wreak havoc in hilarious fashion.
The Gothic and the Everyday: Living Gothic (The Palgrave Gothic Series)
by Gill PartingtonThe Gothic and the Everyday aims to regenerate interest in the Gothic within the experiential contexts of history, folklore, and tradition. By using the term 'living', this book recalls a collection of experiences that constructs the everyday in its social, cultural, and imaginary incarnations
The Government Manual for New Pirates
by Matthew David BrozikThere be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." —Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates* Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers.Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.
The Gracie Allen Murder Case: Philo Vance #11 (Philo Vance)
by S.S. Van DineThe beloved 1930s comedienne becomes the famed detective’s sidekick in the series that “transport[s] the reader back to a long-gone era of society” (Mystery Scene).During a glamorous night on the town, Gracie Allen finds a dead body—and a cigarette case nearby that belongs to her date for the evening. Detective Philo Vance is on the scene, but questioning Gracie is causing more confusion than enlightenment. To prevent her from creating more chaos, Vance decides to keep her close by as his unofficial sleuthing partner. Now, with the help of the zany star—or in spite of it—he intends to find the real killer . . .“Mr. Van Dine’s amateur detective is the most gentlemanly, and probably the most scholarly snooper in literature.” —Chicago Daily Tribune“The best of the American mystery men.” —The Globe
The Grammarians: A Novel
by Cathleen Schine<p>An enchanting, comic love letter to sibling rivalry and the English language. <p>From the author compared to Nora Ephron and Nancy Mitford, not to mention Jane Austen, comes a new novel celebrating the beauty, mischief, and occasional treachery of language. <p>The Grammarians are Laurel and Daphne Wolfe, identical, inseparable redheaded twins who share an obsession with words. They speak a secret twin tongue of their own as toddlers; as adults making their way in 1980s Manhattan, their verbal infatuation continues, but this love, which has always bound them together, begins instead to push them apart. Daphne, copy editor and grammar columnist, devotes herself to preserving the dignity and elegance of Standard English. Laurel, who gives up teaching kindergarten to write poetry, is drawn, instead, to the polymorphous, chameleon nature of the written and spoken word. Their fraying twinship finally shreds completely when the sisters go to war, absurdly but passionately, over custody of their most prized family heirloom: Merriam Webster s New International Dictionary, Second Edition. <p>Cathleen Schine has written a playful and joyful celebration of the interplay of language and life. A dazzling comedy of sisterly and linguistic manners, a revelation of the delights and stresses of intimacy, The Grammarians is the work of one of our great comic novelists at her very best.</p>
The Grand Design: A Novel
by John Dos PassosJohn Dos Passos's literary response to Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal, The Grand Design critiques the gargantuan growth of bureaucracy in Washington during the Great Depression and World War II. The satiric novel conveys the author's frustration with federal overreach and the hollow rhetoric that sells it to the people. "War is a time of Caesars," writes Dos Passos as he laments the death of idealistic, intelligent enterprises at the desks of elitist administrators. After witnessing the Spanish Civil War claim so many well-intentioned men, he advises caution for America's New Dealers: "Some things we have learned, but not enough; there is more to learn. Today we must learn to found again in freedom our republic."
The Grand Scheme of Things: A Novel
by Warona JayTwo unlikely friends hatch an extraordinary scheme to expose the theater world in this wildly entertaining and sharply observed debut novel exploring perception, redemption, and how success shapes us all.Meet Relebogile Naledi Mpho Moruakgomo. Or, for short, Eddie: an aspiring playwright who dreams of making it big in London&’s theater world. But after repeated rejections from white talent agents, Eddie suspects her non-white sounding name might be the problem. Enter Hugo Lawrence Smith: good looking, well-connected, charismatic and…very white. Stifled by his law degree and looking for a way out of the corporate world, he finds a kindred spirit in Eddie after a chance encounter at a cafe. Together they devise a plan, one which will see Eddie&’s play on stage and Hugo&’s name in lights. They send out her script under his name and vow to keep the play&’s origins a secret until it reaches critical levels of success. Then they can expose the theater world for its racism and hollow clout-chasing. But as their plan spins wildly out of control, Eddie and Hugo find themselves wondering if their reputations, and their friendship, can survive.
The Grand Tour: A Novel
by Adam O'Fallon PriceA bitingly funny, smart and moving road novel about two hapless lost souls--an alcoholic Vietnam veteran turned bestselling author, and his awkward, shy college student superfan--who form an unlikely connection on the world's most disastrous book tour. Richard Lazar is advancing in years but regressing in life. After a career as a literary novelist that has ground to a halt and landed him in a trailer in Phoenix, Richard is surprised to find sudden success publishing a gritty memoir about his service in Vietnam. Sent on a book tour by his publishing house, Richard encounters his biggest (and really only) fan: an awkward, despondent student named Vance with issues of his own (an absentee father, a depressive mother, his own acute shyness). Soon Vance has volunteered to chauffeur Richard for the rest of the book tour, and the two embark on a disastrous but often hilarious cross-country trip. When things go wrong, Richard and Vance forge an unlikely bond between two misanthropes whose mutual insecurities and disdain for the world force both to look at each other, and their lives, in a more meaningful way.As they reach the end of the book tour, The Grand Tour ultimately becomes a moving tale of unlikely friendship that should catapult Adam O'Fallon Price into the company of such masters of All-American dyspepsia as Sam Lipsyte, David Gates and Walter Kirn.
The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank: If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?, Motherhood, And The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank
by Erma BombeckThe &“marvelously funny&” and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller (Vogue). For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don&’t risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte&’s Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load up their belongings and cry, &“Station wagons . . . ho!&” But life on the suburban frontier is not as perfect as they had hoped. The trees are stunted, the house is cramped, and there&’s no grass at all. But the Bombecks will make do, for they are suburbanites now—the last true pioneers! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author&’s estate.
The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
by Erma BombeckIn The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank, she has written the expose of all exposes -the truth about the suburbs: where they planted trees and crabgrass came up, they planted schools and taxes came up, where they died of old age trying to merge onto the freeway, and where they finally got sex out of the schools and back into the gutter. This is their story-lonely wives having lunch with their wigs, picking fights with the pet hamster, husbands fighting for custody of the lawn and against the dread disease, car-pool crouch. Here you will meet guys and dolls like Barbie and Ken, as well as Wanda the school-bus driver, Ralph the Little League coach who played to lose, and the Ten Most Unwanted Women in the Shopping Center Parking Lot. You will read the confessions of an Officer in the Girl Scout Cookie Corps and learn what it's like to be a dieter in search of a lettuce that tastes like lasagne. In these pages it is revealed that the Suburban Orgy is a Myth, that no one will buy your child at a garage sale, that the washer repairman never comes, that desperate is sending your kids to school wearing broiler-foil, and that a septic tank does not last forever.
The Grasshopper Trap
by Patrick F. McManus“Funniest guy in the Outdoor Life and Field and Stream gang, McManus here offers another bag of whimsey in the Great Outdoors” —Kirkus ReviewsIn this collection of thirty zany stories, spoofing camping, fishing, and other outdoor recreational activities, McManus shares his hilarious wilderness misadventures. From facing an angry bear with an unloaded gun and the folly of running a boat while it’s still on the trailer to not questioning the ingredients found in camp cookout cuisine and the best methods of catching grasshoppers, no one knows how to express Mother Nature’s sense of humor like Patrick F. McManus.Praise for Patrick F. McManus“Patrick McManus is a treasure.” —The Atlantic“Everybody should read Patrick McManus.” —The New York Times Book Review“A style that brings to mind Mark Twain, Art Buchwald, and Garrison Keillor.” —People“Describing Patrick F. McManus as an outdoor humorist is like saying Mark Twain wrote books about small boys . . . the funniest writer around today—indoors or outdoors.” —The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Graves Family Goes Camping
by Patricia PolaccoWhen the Graves family goes on their annual camping trip to Lake Bleakmire, they make a frightening discovery in the forest.
The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy: A Novel
by Jacopo della Quercia“Science fiction, action . . . comedy, and suspense combine in this delightful steampunk romp” as an adventuresome President Taft solves a global conspiracy (Booklist).In this dizzyingly inventive steampunk world, President William Howard Taft is a secret underground boxing champion who routinely evades his official duties by spiriting away on the dirigible Airship One. But now Taft and his good friend Robert Todd Lincoln must race to solve a mystery stretching back to the Civil War and the Lincoln assassination. Soon they are swept into a vast conspiracy spanning four continents and three oceans.In the course of remarkable events, fascinating technologies will be harnessed, dark secrets revealed, true villains exposed, and some of the most famous figures in history will take the stage. With surprises lurking around every corner, and a vast cast of characters to root for, Jacopo della Quercia’s The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy is a heart-pounding adventure that only a historian of ingenious imagination could have written.
The Great American Novel (Vintage International)
by Philip RothGil Gamesh, the only pitcher who ever literally tried to kill the umpire. The ex-con first baseman, John Baal, "The Babe Ruth of the Big House," who never hit a home run sober. If you've never heard of them—or of the Ruppert Mundys, the only homeless big-league ball team in American history—it's because of the Communist plot, and the capitalist scandal, that expunged the entire Patriot League from baseball memory.In this ribald, richly imagined, and wickedly satiric novel, Roth turns baseball's status as national pastime and myth into an occasion for unfettered picaresque farce, replete with heroism and perfidy, ebullient wordplay and a cast of characters that includes the House Un-American Activities Committee.
The Great American Novel: Kora In Hell / Spring And All / The Descent Of Winter / The Great American Novel / A Novelette And Other Prose (Mint Editions--literary Criticism And Writing Technique Ser.)
by William Carlos WilliamsThis 1923 novel by the Pulitzer Prize–winning poet and author of Paterson satirizes American colonization, creative ambition, and the novel form itself. One of the greatest American writers of the twentieth century, William Carlos Williams was an avid experimentalist in prose as well as poetry. Concerned about the state of the American novel, a form he felt was stunted by traditional tropes and genres, he set out to both parody and reject the prevailing clichés of fiction. The result of this audacious project was The Great American Novel, which tells the story of a Ford car in love with a Mack truck. A hilarious satire of Americanism and a brilliant example of literary invention, Williams&’s short novel set a precedent for American postmodern literature and metafiction.
The Great Big Poop Party
by Samantha BergerThe Great Big Poop Party is writer Samantha Berger and illustrator Manny Galán's hilarious picture book about a little boy who wants a special theme for his birthday party—and the poop-centric silliness that ensues.Julian's birthday is fast approaching. For his party, his parents promise he can have any theme he wants. Maybe superheroes or skateboards? Dinosaurs or dogs? But Julian has another idea.He wants a poop party.With his family's help, Julian throws the biggest, brownest, most creative poop party ever!
The Great Book of Mobile Talk: You Like Mashed Potato, Don’t you?
by Andrew BarrowOverheard mobile pronouncements are a modern phenomenon. In the street, in the park, in supermarkets, buses, waiting rooms and even, heaven help us, in libraries, it’s quite impossible to get away from these tasty or repellent fragments of other people’s private lives. Wherever you lurk, their outbursts of despair or irritation ring out: mega-tantrums, in-jokes, celebrity spottings, instant post-mortems, office politics, whoops of joy and anger, weather reports, devilishly dull domestic details, parental problems, health issues, holiday plans, money matters, dinner menus, ultimatums, gossip, sporting news, amorous overtures, business deals – and any number of time-wasting pleasantries.From the stunningly mundane to the shockingly direct, the sublime to the ridiculous, here is a brilliantly curated collection of overheard mobile conversational gems.
The Great Brain
by John D. FitzgeraldTom is going away from home for the first time to the academy in Salt Lake city. But Tom has a "great brain" and this book details his adventures as he schemes and cons his way through school.
The Great Brain
by John D. FitzgeraldThis first book in the series is a great combination of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Terrible Two series, and is perfect for fans of Roald Dahl.The best con man in the Midwest is only ten years old. Tom, a.k.a., the Great Brain, is a silver-tongued genius with a knack for turning a profit. When the Jenkins boys get lost in Skeleton Cave, the Great Brain saves the day. Whether it's saving the kids at school, or helping out Peg-leg Andy, or Basil, the new kid at school, the Great Brain always manages to come out on top-and line his pockets in the process.From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Great Brain Is Back
by John D. FitzgeraldThis classic trickster is back again, and he's up to no good in his eighth and final book of the series. Great mix of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Terrible Two series, and is perfect for fans of Roald Dahl.Tom D. Fitzgerald--better known as The Great Brain--has turned thirteen, and pretty Polly Reagan has put a spell on him. But when it comes to swindling his younger brother J. D., and all the other kids in Adenville, Tom hasn't changed a bit. The Great Brain is back one more time, and he's at the top of his form with his money-making schemes and getting into big trouble. As always, life is more exciting when this brain's around!
The Great British Bump-Off
by John AllisonAn Agatha Christie-style murder mystery set in the world of English competitive baking from Giant Days&’ John Allison and Max Sarin.When she enters her country&’s most beloved baking competition, Shauna Wickle&’s goal is to delight the judges, charm the nation, and make a few friends along the way. But when a fellow contestant is poisoned, it falls to her to apprehend the culprit while avoiding premature elimination from the UK Bakery Tent…and being the poisoner&’s next victim!Collects issues #1–#4 of Dark Horse Comics series The Great British Bump-Off.
The Great Bunny Escape (Daisy Dreamer #9)
by Genevieve Santos Holly AnnaWhen a friend’s pet bunny escapes into the World of Make-Believe, Daisy and Posey have to track him down in this ninth Daisy Dreamer chapter book!Have you ever heard the phrase “quick like a bunny?” People say it all the time about me. It means that I am fast. But I just met something that’s even faster than me. And guess what? It’s a cute and fluffy bunny! I am bunny-sitting for my friend, Lily. Bunny-sitting means I am caring for her bunny—not sitting on it. Obviously. Watching a bunny is easy, unless you have an imaginary friend named Posey who draws doors to the World of Make-Believe and leaves them open. Because Lily’s pet is quick like a bunny, and it loves to run through open doors. With easy-to-read language and illustrations on almost every page, the Daisy Dreamer chapter books are perfect for emerging readers.
The Great Canadian Cottage Book
by Collins CanadaThe Great Canadian Cottage Book is the guide every cottage-goer needs for a weekend or a week, rain or shineFilled with ideas of what to do, drink and eat, along with great did-you-know facts and loads of stories to tell by the campfire, readers will find themselves turning to The Great Canadian Cottage Book again and again. Did you know there’s one constellation that connects human cultures from around the world and tells the story of human history? Or that caribou and reindeer are actually the same animal, but elk are different here than across the pond? Have you ever tried your hand at homemade sangria or even a pitcher of margaritas? What about making your own BBQ sauce or cooking pizza on the BBQ?The Great Canadian Cottage Book has spooky ghost stories, awesome adventure stories and incredible nature stories. Feature sections include drinks that can be made by the pitcher; beer cocktails; the best food to cook over the fire or on the BBQ; indoor and outdoor games; and lots of fun facts and trivia. And after your cottage stay, don’t forget to leave your mark in the guestbook.