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The Gypsy in the Parlour: A Novel
by Margery SharpIn Victorian England, a glamorous, mysterious young woman overturns the lives of a traditional Devonshire farm family, in Margery Sharp&’s humorous, heartwarming New York Times–bestselling novel On a farm in Devonshire, during a long hot summer, three women await the arrival of a fourth. The corseted, petticoated Sylvesters are no ordinary females. They are as fair-tempered as they are big and strong, the wives of modestly prosperous farmers who can stand up to the heat of a parlor—their pride and joy—as well as a scorching harvest field. And the men they chose for husbands are their equals. Today is cause for celebration: The youngest Sylvester brother is arriving with his bride-to-be. But Fanny Davis will change all their lives. The slender, petite woman is given to unnamed ailments and is full of secrets. Where did she come from? What does she really want from the bumpkin she agreed to marry? None of the Sylvester ladies can imagine the tempest that will strike their peaceful farm when the deadly Miss Davis gets to work.
The H.I.M. Book: A Woman's Manual for Understanding Her Highly Identifiable Male
by Christopher H. FabryChances are, your husband or boyfriend (also known as a Highly Identifiable Male, or H.I.M.) didn't come with an owner's manual or operating instructions. But the good news is: you are now holding the very next best thing. Does your H.I.M. try to "fix" you, rather than listen to you, when you talk?Has your H.I.M. shown signs of a mysterious addiction to baseball, ESPN--or the dreaded "remote"?Is your H.I.M. unable to respond to your question "How do you feel about that?" with anything more than a slack-jawed stare? If so, you're not alone. But help is on the way! With tongue-in-cheek, laugh-out-loud humor, author Chris Fabry offers you a bounty of helpful, hilarious insights into the "secrets" of male behavior. Do you wonder why your man acts the way he does? Do you yearn for practical tips to help you build an even more satisfying relationship with him? Then join us now as we take an unprecedented journey into the strange and intriguing world of The Highly Identifiable Male.From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Ha Ha Bonk Book
by Janet AhlbergLaughter guaranteed with The Ha Ha Bonk Book by Janet and Allan Ahlberg - jam-packed with brilliant jokes to tell your dad, your mum, your baby brother, your teacher and anybody else you can think of, such as: What goes ha ha bonk? A man laughing his head off.andWhat goes 99 bonk? A centipede with a wooden legandWhat goes putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt?A bad golferand lots more besides!This is an all-time classic favourite joke book for all the family to enjoy.Allan Ahlberg - a former teacher, postman, plumber's mate and gravedigger - is in the super-league of children's writers with sales exceeding 17 million and library borrowings of 13 million. In collaboration with his late wife, Janet, he has published many enduring titles, among them Each Peach Pear Plum, Peepo!, Burglar Bill and The Jolly Postman. In addition he has written novels, collections of stories, sets of easy-readers and joke books.
The Hair Book (Bright & Early Books(R))
by GRAHAM TETHERAn easy reader about hair--and all the things you can do with it--that's perfect for fans of classic Dr. Seuss concept books like The Foot Book and The Eye Book!This super-simple, rhymed riff features a charming cast of human and animal characters sporting all kinds of hair--short, long, curly, straight, dark, fair, braided, tied, washed, dyed--you name it! Written for children learning to read on their own, it's filled with words and concepts kids encounter every day. Perfect for reading aloud or reading alone, it's also great for starting discussions about which kinds of animals have hair and which do not. With bright, energetic artwork by Andrew Joyner, this is the kind of fun, easy reader that is hard for kids to put down!
The Haircutter: A Novel
by Dana ThompsonBorn in the small town of Ten Sleep, Wyoming, The Haircutter—or H.C.— murders an enigmatic “Jenny” and flees to the glittering anonymity of New York City. Eight years later, after a series of odd jobs and lonely meals, H.C. is charged with driving a wolf from New York back to Wyoming, where it was captured for use in a conceptual art show. While back out West, he has a chance encounter with the girl he could never forget—slightly cross-eyed Carol. Now shacked up with H.C. in the city, Carol discovers H.C.’s eponymous secret—his compulsion to cut off locks of strangers’ hair in public, archive them on a hidden door in their apartment. Carol declares the bizarre habit to be high art, and sends the work to the eccentric gallerist Leslie Christmas, thrusting The Haircutter into the spotlight of NYC’s art scene. Christmas creates a sensation out of the rube from Wyoming, who is only along for the ride to keep Carol in his bed, but when he is accused of another murder, he must scramble to set the record straight. The Haircutter tells the story of what is gained and lost in H.C.’s pursuit of love and meaning in a fascinatingly absurdist world. By turns hysterical, disgusting, subversive, and heartbreaking, The Haircutter is a madcap romp alive with cultural provocation and twisted stereotypes. It is an uproarious send-up to fame and the pursuit of artistic expression that fearlessly combines sincerity and debauchery.
The Hallelujah Side: A Novel
by Rhoda Huffey&“It had been a Second Coming sky all day, which meant they might be in heaven by this evening.&” So begins the uproarious and tender tale of Roxanne Fish, daughter of Sister Zelda Fish and Pastor Winston Fish of the First Assembly of God Church of Ames, Iowa, who believe fervently in the imminent return of Jesus to take the Christians up to heaven. The Fishes&’ older daughter, Colleen, wants no part of their exuberant faith (&“Where are you going, young lady?&” &“To find my real family!&”), but Roxy longs to be saved even as she fears her sinful desires, such as marrying Elvis Presley when she grows up. If she grows up.Roxy lives in a world populated by angels with blue noses and demons who follow her around whispering &“God doesn&’t like you.&” And sinners, sinners everywhere, easily identifiable by their makeup and capri pants and knowledge of television programs. Her soul&’s journey through this wicked world to her own particular salvation—with an assist from the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin—is unforgettable. Rhoda Huffey&’s affection for her characters shines in every line. She handles large themes with a sure hand, perfect comic timing, and an utter originality that make The Hallelujah Side a joy.
The Hallo-Wiener
by Dav PilkeyFrom Dav Pilkey, creator of the New York Times bestselling Dog Man and Captain Underpants series, comes Oscar, a little dog with a big bullying problem.Oscar is a little dog with a big problem -- he gets more tricks than treats because other dogs tease him all the time. But one brave act on Halloween makes Oscar a Grade-A hero, proving that a little wiener can be a real winner!
The Halloween Costume Countdown
by Maggie MurphyWith Alligator's Halloween party starting in two hours, Cat and Mouse think up ideas of costumes.
The Halloween Party from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures #5)
by Mike ThalerThese fun-filled chapter books mix school, monsters, and common kid problems with hilarious results. You'll scream with laughter!Hubie is about to scream. He doesn't have a costume for the scariest Halloween costume party ever. Too bad he can't just go as the invisible man and stay at home. Plus, there's going to be a ton of monsters at the party. He better find a costume quick or become a tasty treat for all those cruel ghouls!
The Halt During the Chase
by Rosemary TonksFinally back in print, a remarkable, hilarious coming-of-age novel from the cult classic writer Rosemary Tonks. Sophie—a clever and charming young woman—is trying to get out from under her mother’s thumb. She’s in love with her childhood friend Philip (pragmatic, attractive, a bit of a bore), but she often worries that she loves him too much for her own good, and that he might only be another thumb to crawl under. Both a sincere bildungsroman of Sophie’s attempt to seize a life for herself and a comic masterpiece with cutting observations and asides, The Halt During the Chase is flutteringly alive as it discusses different forms of love, adulthood (“Isn’t buying new lampshades a form of slow death?”), marriage, insecurity, and stifling British snobbery and classism. Sophie’s voice, fueled by Tonks’s acidic narration, evolves from thrashing about in various traps into a triumphant, croaky-throated liberation song.
The Hammer and the Cross (Gateway Essentials #294)
by Harry Harrison865 A.D. Warring kings rule over the British Isles, but the Church rules over the kings. Powerful bishops and black-robed priests fill their cathedrals with gold, while threatening all who oppose them with damnation. But there are those who do not fear the priests, and they are the dreaded Vikings of Scandinavia. Among these Northern invaders, those who follow the Way of the Gods of Asgard carry the Hammer of Thor as their emblem, and they are sworn to increase mankind's knowledge and strength by conquest and by craft. And as Viking warlords cast hungry eyes upon a weak and divided Britain, the Way collides with the Church, launching an all-out war between The Hammer and the Cross.At the center of this bloody conflict is Shef, bastard son of a Norse raider and a captive English lady. A smith and a warrior, he is driven by strange visions that seem to come from Odin himself. Torn by divided loyalties, Shef alone dares to imagine new weapons and tactics with which to carve out a kingdom - and threaten the holy power of Rome itself!
The Hand that Rocks the Ladle (An Amish Bed and Breakfast Mystery with Recipes #8)
by Tamar MyersAn Amish Bed and Breakfast Mystery with Recipes – PennDutch Mysteries #8Barbara Hostetler is expecting triplets, and no one is more enthused than soon-to-be grandma and PennDutch Inn cook, Freni. But when only two babies are born, Freni seems to be the only one suspicious. Unable to accept the possibility of a monitoring fluke, Freni calls on Magdalena Yoder, amateur sleuth and the PennDutch Inn’s proprietress, to get to the bottom of the triplets minus one…Initially Magdalena takes the case to humor her cook, but as the two women question the hospital’s nurses and doctors, it becomes clear that their stories just aren’t adding up. Is there a cradle robber on the loose? And how can a baby just…go missing?“Charming and delightful...Tamar Myers [keeps] it fresh and original.” -- Midwest Book Review
The Handbook
by Jim BentonJim Benton, bestselling author of Dear Dumb Diary and Franny K. Stein, brings us a fresh new middle grade novel about breaking all the rules!There's nothing Jake likes more than some good trash-picking, so when his elderly neighbors move out and leave an especially promising-looking pile of household refuse on the curb, he goes right for it. He only has the chance to grab one box before his mom catches him and orders him in for dinner, though. When mysterious goings-on begin to occur in the neighborhood, the trio investigates the hidden box from Jack's garage. In it, they find the Secret Parent's Handbook and with it all the means to subvert the irrational rules and petty tyranny of their home lives. No more clean rooms! No more vegetables! No more brushed hair or washed hands! It's all videogames and junk food all the time! But the authorities -- and the resistance -- have taken notice of the strange goings-on in Jack and his friends' neighborhood. And they are closing in . . .
The Hanged Man's Song: Kidd 4 (KIDD #Bk. 4)
by John SandfordThe ultimate con game thriller from the internationally bestselling master of suspense, John Sandford A super-hacker friend of Kidd's named Bobby suddenly disappears from cyberspace, and Kidd - artist, computer ace and professional criminal - knows that isn't a good sign. Going over to his house, he finds Bobby dead on the floor, his head bashed in and his laptop missing. The secrets on that laptop are potent enough to hang Kidd and everybody else in Bobby's circle - just to start with. But before Kidd and his partner LuEllen can get very far in their attempts to track the laptop down, the secrets start coming out anyway - and they're much more staggering than even Kidd imagined. Because it's not just about the lives of a circle of friends and colleagues now - it's about something much, much bigger. And much, much more terrifying . . .***Praise for John Sandford*** &‘One of the great novelists of all time&’ Stephen King &‘A series writer who reads like a breath of fresh air&’ Daily Mirror &‘Delivers twists to the very last sentence&’ Daily Mail &‘Crime writer John Sandford is one of the best around&’ Sun 'John Sandford knows all there is to know about detonating the gut-level shocks of a good thriller' The New York Times Book Review ? 'Sandford is consistently brilliant' Cleveland Plain Dealer &‘Perfect entertainment&’ Kirkus Reviews on Escape Clause
The Hanging Tree: A Rivers Of London Novel (Rivers of London #6)
by Ben AaronovitchBen Aaronovitch's bestselling Rivers of London urban fantasy series • “The perfect blend of CSI and Harry Potter.” —io9Suspicious deaths are not usually the concern of Police Constable Peter Grant or the Folly—London’s police department for supernatural cases—even when they happen at an exclusive party in one of the flats of the most expensive apartment blocks in London. But the daughter of Lady Ty, influential goddess of the Tyburn river, was there, and Peter owes Lady Ty a favor.Plunged into the alien world of the super-rich, where the basements are bigger than the houses, where the law is something bought and sold on the open market, a sensible young copper would keep his head down and his nose clean. But this is Peter Grant we’re talking about.He’s been given an unparalleled opportunity to alienate old friends and create new enemies at the point where the world of magic and that of privilege intersect. Assuming he survives the week…
The Hanging on Union Square
by H. T. TsiangA subversively comic, genre-bending satire of bourgeois life by an essential Chinese American voiceA Penguin ClassicIt's Depression-era New York, and Mr. Nut, an oblivious American everyman, wants to strike it rich, even if at the moment he's unemployed, with no job prospects in sight. Over the course of a single night, in a narrative that unfolds hour by hour, he meets a cast of strange characters—disgruntled workers at a Communist cafeteria, lecherous old men, sexually exploited women, pesky authors—who eventually convince him to cast off his bourgeois aspirations for upward mobility and become a radical activist. Absurdist, inventive, and suffused with revolutionary fervor, and culminating in a dramatic face-off against capitalist power in the figure of the greedy businessman Mr. System, The Hanging on Union Square is a work of blazing wit and originality. More than eighty years after it was self-published, having been rejected by dozens of baffled publishers, it has become a classic of Asian American literature—a satirical send-up of class politics and capitalism and a shout of populist rage that still resonates today.Celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month with these four Penguin Classics: America Is in the Heart by Carlos Bulosan (9780143134039) East Goes West by Younghill Kang (9780143134305) The Hanging on Union Square by H. T. Tsiang (9780143134022) No-No Boy by John Okada (9780143134015)
The Happiest People in the World: A Novel
by Brock Clarke“[A] dark and funny satire . . . Infidelities, secret identities and double-crosses . . . Reflects the absurdity of any country obsessed with spying on its own people.” —The Wall Street Journal Take the format of a spy thriller, shape it around real-life incidents involving international terrorism, leaven it with dark, dry humor, toss in a love rectangle, give everybody a gun, and let everything play out in the outer reaches of upstate New York--there you have an idea of Brock Clarke’s new novel. Filled with wonder and anger in almost equal parts,The Happiest People in the World is a ripped-from-the-headlines tale of paranoia and the all-American obsession with security and the conspiracies that threaten it. “A literary first: a book that feels like the love child of Saul Bellow and Hogan’s Heroes, full of authorial cartwheels of comedy and profundity.” —GQ “The Happiest People in the World begins with a raucous bar scene featuring party streamers, smoke, prone bodies, spilled fluids and a stuffed moose with a surveillance camera in its left eye . . . [Clarke has] success in dreaming up oddball originals that have instant appeal.” —Janet Maslin, The New York Times “[Clarke] creates books that taste like delicious cuts of absurdity marbled with erudition.” —The Washington Post “A whiz-bang spy satire bundled in an edgy tale of redemption . . . His comedy of errors is impossible to put down.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review “A darkly hilarious novel . . . The writing is clever, the dialogue snappy and understated, and the effect is as pleasantly unsettling as anything Kurt Vonnegut Jr. ever wrote.” —The Portland Sun “A zany and fast-paced book that explores the myriad ways people of all nations make themselves and others unhappy.” —Chicago Tribune, Printer’s Row “Ranks among the funniest and most relevant social satires I’ve read . . . It might just make you the happiest reader in the world.” —The Dallas Morning News
The Happily Ever After: A Memoir of an Unlikely Romance Novelist
by Avi SteinbergA journalist's journey through the lands of popular romance lit and a soulful and hilarious memoir about writing a novel about searching for loveIs romance dead? Is that why there are so many vampires in today's romance novels? When Avi Steinberg's love life took a grim turn, he did what he always does: He consulted his old books, the usual cast of Great (Very Serious, Usually Male) Authors. And he immediately realized that these books were part of the problem. Instead, he began to read romances, the books he--like so many of us--have been conditioned to dismiss as "trashy." What he discovered was a genre that was tremendously diverse and daring, along with a vast network of innovative writers who were keeping the novel as alive as ever. His own relationship problems, he realized, came down to a failure of his imagination. And so he set out on a quest to write and publish a romance novel and to find real-life love.A hybrid of memoir, travelogue, and critical essay, The Happily Ever After chronicles an adventure in a brave new world of literature. Steinberg offers a report from the trenches of romance, moving between major industry conferences and writing groups at the local bar as he works and reworks his romance novel idea. He reveals the inside scoop from a major romance publishing house, crisscrosses the country meeting mysterious ghostwriters and Fabio's great unsung rival, and offers a running take on the fascinating history of romance writing, the genre that invented, and continues to reinvent, the modern novel. Along the way he meets many readers, each of whom sheds light on why we are so fascinated by--and phobic of--romance fiction and what the vitality and fractiousness of our biggest genre says about us.With quirky wit and disarming honesty, Steinberg captures an often misunderstood literary culture and learns, from its devoted practitioners, how to take the Happily Ever After seriously in his own life.
The Happily Ever Afternoon
by Sharon Jennings Ron LightburnA young boy spots sweets and treats on the kitchen table. In a classic fairy-tale quest, he imagines himself a brave hero who must outwit ferocious dragons and formidable guardians in order to partake of such a treasure. Caught and sent to the dungeon (his bedroom), the boy is surprised when the afternoon ends so unexpectantly happily. Featuring read-along narration with text highlighting.
The Happiness Blueprint: A Novel
by Ally Zetterberg&“Smart writing, clever plotting, and an original, finely drawn, and relatable protagonist. Charming.&”—Graeme Simsion, bestselling author of The Rosie Project&“A charming and original love story full of depth and characters you'll be rooting for.&”—Sophie Cousens, New York Times bestselling author of This Time Next YearKlara and Alex are having trouble connecting, but at least their calendars are in sync.Klara—who&’s always thought of herself as a little different, a sneaker in a world full of kitten heels and polished boots—is feeling a disconnect these days. She has type 1 diabetes, currently works in a dead-end job, and is in desperate need of a change. When her dad falls ill, Klara begrudgingly agrees to help run his small construction company while he recovers, even though it means moving back home and pushing the boundaries of her comfort zone to the extreme.Alex has been a shell of himself since his brother died in an accident. He&’s unemployed, has bills piling up, and is distant from friends and family. His therapist is encouraging him to keep things manageable by setting up a calendar, checking off tasks each day, and looking for work to help get him back on his feet. When an ad pops up for a carpenter position at a small construction company, he jumps at the chance to take a step forward.Klara's and Alex&’s stories unfold through a series of miscommunications in this clever and witty novel from debut author Ally Zetterberg that&’s about finding acceptance and even love in unexpected places.
The Happy Book
by Andy RashFrom the creator of ARCHIE THE DAREDEVIL PENGUIN comes the unique story of two friends who can't escape all the feels.Camper is happy as a clam and Clam is a happy camper. When you live in The Happy Book, the world is full of daisies and sunshine and friendship cakes . . . until your best friend eats the whole cake and doesn't save you one bite. Moving from happiness to sadness and everything in between, Camper and Clam have a hard time finding their way back to happy. But maybe happy isn't the goal--being a good friend is about supporting each other and feeling all the feels together.At once funny and thoughtful, The Happy Book supports social-emotional learning. It's a book to keep young readers company no matter how they're feeling!
The Happy Ever After Playlist
by Abby JimenezFrom the USA Today bestselling author of The Friend Zone comes a fresh romantic comedy full of "fierce humor and fiercer heart" about one trouble-making dog who brings together two perfect strangers. (Casey McQuiston, New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue)Two years after losing her fiancé, Sloan Monroe still can't seem to get her life back on track. But one trouble-making pup with a "take me home" look in his eyes is about to change everything. With her new pet by her side, Sloan finally starts to feel more like herself. Then, after weeks of unanswered texts, Tucker's owner reaches out. He's a musician on tour in Australia. And bottom line: He wants Tucker back.Well, Sloan's not about to give up her dog without a fight. But what if this Jason guy really loves Tucker? As their flirty texts turn into long calls, Sloan can't deny a connection. Jason is hot and nice and funny. There's no telling what could happen when they meet in person. The question is: With his music career on the rise, how long will Jason really stick around? And is it possible for Sloan to survive another heartbreak?Publishers Weekly Starred ReviewKirkus Starred ReviewBooklist Starred ReviewBookBub, 20 of the Best Romances Coming Out This YearThe Nerd Daily, Most Anticipated 2020 TitlesGoodreads, 28 of the Hottest Romances of 2020Bookpage, Most Anticipated Romance of 2020
The Happy Ever After Playlist: 'Full of fierce humour and fiercer heart' Casey McQuiston, New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue
by Abby Jimenez'Sweet and achingly romantic - a truly wonderful love story' Beth O'Leary, author of The Flatshare From the USA Today bestselling author of The Friend Zone comes an adorable and fresh romantic comedy about one trouble-making dog who brings together two perfect strangers.Two years after losing her fiancé, Sloan Monroe still can't seem to get her life back on track. But one trouble-making pup with a 'take me home' look in his eyes is about to change everything. With her new pet by her side, Sloan finally starts to feel more like herself. Then, after weeks of unanswered texts, Tucker's owner reaches out. He's a musician on tour in Australia. And bottom line: he wants Tucker back.Well, Sloan's not about to give up her dog without a fight. But what if this Jason guy really loves Tucker? As their flirty texts turn into long calls, Sloan can't deny a connection. Jason is hot and nice and funny. There's no telling what could happen when they meet in person. The question is: with his music career on the rise, how long will Jason really stick around? And is it possible for Sloan to survive another heartbreak?Praise for Abby Jimenez:'The Happy Ever After Playlist tackles love after loss with fierce humour and fiercer heart' Casey McQuiston, New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue'A deliciously hot, sweet debut. This book is an absolute treat.' L. G. Shen, USA Today Bestselling Author'Harnessing sass, heartfelt struggle, and unapologetic sexuality, Jimenez's debut is as hysterical as it is tear-jerking' Publishers Weekly'Let's get one thing straight, Abby Jimenez is hilarious' Goodreads reviewer'I laughed, I teared up, and most importantly, I didn't want to put it down' Goodreads reviewer'Not only is this book hilarious and heartfelt, it felt real' Goodreads reviewer'5 stars isn't enough for this laugh out loud, beautifully honest, and sometimes heart-breaking novel' Goodreads reviewer
The Happy Ever After Playlist: 'Full of fierce humour and fiercer heart' Casey McQuiston, New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue
by Abby Jimenez'Sweet and achingly romantic - a truly wonderful love story' Beth O'Leary, author of The Flatshare From the USA Today bestselling author of The Friend Zone comes an adorable and fresh romantic comedy about one trouble-making dog who brings together two perfect strangers.Two years after losing her fiancé, Sloan Monroe still can't seem to get her life back on track. But one trouble-making pup with a 'take me home' look in his eyes is about to change everything. With her new pet by her side, Sloan finally starts to feel more like herself. Then, after weeks of unanswered texts, Tucker's owner reaches out. He's a musician on tour in Australia. And bottom line: he wants Tucker back.Well, Sloan's not about to give up her dog without a fight. But what if this Jason guy really loves Tucker? As their flirty texts turn into long calls, Sloan can't deny a connection. Jason is hot and nice and funny. There's no telling what could happen when they meet in person. The question is: with his music career on the rise, how long will Jason really stick around? And is it possible for Sloan to survive another heartbreak?Praise for Abby Jimenez:'The Happy Ever After Playlist tackles love after loss with fierce humour and fiercer heart' Casey McQuiston, New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue'A deliciously hot, sweet debut. This book is an absolute treat.' L. G. Shen, USA Today Bestselling Author'Harnessing sass, heartfelt struggle, and unapologetic sexuality, Jimenez's debut is as hysterical as it is tear-jerking' Publishers Weekly'Let's get one thing straight, Abby Jimenez is hilarious' Goodreads reviewer'I laughed, I teared up, and most importantly, I didn't want to put it down' Goodreads reviewer'Not only is this book hilarious and heartfelt, it felt real' Goodreads reviewer'5 stars isn't enough for this laugh out loud, beautifully honest, and sometimes heart-breaking novel' Goodreads reviewer