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The Mammoth Book of More Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes (Mammoth Books #458)
by Geoff TibballsFunny, fearless and absolutely filthy-nearly 3,000 more uncensored, dirty, sick, and deeply politically incorrect jokes, covering just about every topic imaginable, from adultery to (sex in) Zoos, including an assortment of bad taste lists. A worthy, all-new follow-on to the first bestselling volume.
The Mammoth Book of New Comic Quotes: Over 3,500 modern gems of wit and wisdom from TV, films and stand-up
by Geoff TibballsWith over 3,500 entries, arranged by topic, fully indexed and up-to-date for the twenty-first century, here is a bumper new collection of witticisms and wisecracks. If you're looking for a quick quip to get the crowd on your side, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this marvellous mammoth book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Ricky Gervais, Sir Terry Pratchett, Tina Fey, Milton Jones, Russell Brand, Bill Bryson, Armando Iannucci, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Clarkson, Larry David, Grayson Perry, Germaine Greer, Will Ferrell and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."' Conan O'Brien'The only time it's cool to yell, "I have diarrhoea!" is when you're playing Scrabble.' Zach Galifianakis
The Mammoth Book of One-Liners (Mammoth Books #459)
by Geoff TibballsA collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.''Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.''I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
The Mammoth Book of One-Liners: Over 10,000 Gems Of Wit And Wisdom, One-liners And Wisecracks (Mammoth Books)
by Geoff TibballsA collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.''Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.''I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes: Humour for the whole family (Mammoth Books #460)
by Geoff TibballsThe biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes: Humour for the whole family (The Mammoth Bks.)
by Geoff TibballsThe biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
The Mammoth Book of Sex Scandals
by Nigel CawthorneSex scandals, some historical but many contemporary, involving political figures, celebrities, movie stars, sports stars, musicians and artists, from Julius Caesar's affair with Cleopatra, which scandalized Rome and may have contributed to his murder, to what exactly IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn did or didn't get up to in that New York hotel room. England's Edward II was put to death by having a red-hot poker shoved up 'those parts in which he had been wont to make his vicious pleasures' and James Dean was known as 'the human ashtray' for the pleasure he took in having cigarettes stubbed out on his body, but from Silvio Berlusconi to Tiger Woods, many have been more focused on pleasure than pain. Even Barack Obama gets a look in - did he have an affair with Vera Baker?
The Mammoth Book of Sex Scandals (Mammoth Books #219)
by Nigel CawthorneSex scandals, some historical but many contemporary, involving political figures, celebrities, movie stars, sports stars, musicians and artists, from Julius Caesar's affair with Cleopatra, which scandalized Rome and may have contributed to his murder, to what exactly IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn did or didn't get up to in that New York hotel room. England's Edward II was put to death by having a red-hot poker shoved up 'those parts in which he had been wont to make his vicious pleasures' and James Dean was known as 'the human ashtray' for the pleasure he took in having cigarettes stubbed out on his body, but from Silvio Berlusconi to Tiger Woods, many have been more focused on pleasure than pain. Even Barack Obama gets a look in - did he have an affair with Vera Baker?
The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (Mammoth Books #453)
by E. Henry ThripshawThe ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told.More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking.From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these:My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream.Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter.What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm.How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass.I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead.Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
The Mammoth Book of Weird News (Mammoth Books #461)
by Geoff TibballsA humorous collection of hundreds of funny news stories, whacky phenomena, and hilarious blunders and gaffes from around the world, such as: the woman who smuggled 75 live snakes in her bra; the man who held a funeral for his amputated foot; the radioactive cat which got mistaken for a bomb; the human tongue that got served up in a hospital; the X-ray that revealed E.T.'s face in a duck; the youth who woke to find a bullet in his tongue; the tortoise that set a house on fire; and many more.
The Mammoth Book of Weird News (The Mammoth Bks.)
by Geoff TibballsA humorous collection of hundreds of funny news stories, whacky phenomena, and hilarious blunders and gaffes from around the world, such as: the woman who smuggled 75 live snakes in her bra; the man who held a funeral for his amputated foot; the radioactive cat which got mistaken for a bomb; the human tongue that got served up in a hospital; the X-ray that revealed E.T.'s face in a duck; the youth who woke to find a bullet in his tongue; the tortoise that set a house on fire; and many more.
The Mammoth Quiz Book: Over 6,000 questions in 400 quizzes to tax even hardcore quiz fanatics (Mammoth Books #489)
by Nick HoltA comprehensive category killer, with over 6,000 varied questions on every topic imaginable - as well as some you might not imagine. The 400 quizzes are a mixture of general knowledge and specialist rounds all aimed at the popular pub or society quiz market on science and technology; nature and the universe; human geography; history; life as we know it; arts and culture; sports and games; popular culture; celebrities and trivia. The questions are up-to-date, interesting and, unlike much of the competition, accurate.
The Mammy
by Brendan O'Carroll"Mammy" is what Irish children call their mothers and The Mammy is Agnes Browne--a widow struggling to raise seven children in a North Dublin neighborhood in the 1960s. Popular Irish comedian Brendan O'Carroll chronicles the comic misadventures of this large and lively family with raw humor and great affection. Forced to be mother, father, and referee to her battling clan, the ever-resourceful Agnes Browne occasionally finds a spare moment to trade gossip and quips with her best pal Marion Monks (alias "The Kaiser") and even finds herself pursued by the amorous Frenchman who runs the local pizza parlor. Like the novels of Roddy Doyle, The Mammy features pitch-perfect dialogue, lightning wit, and a host of colorful characters. Earthy and exuberant, the novel brilliantly captures the brash energy and cheerful irreverence of working-class Irish life.
The Man Ban
by Nicola MarshWhen you swear off men for the foreseeable future, that means no dating. Hookups don't count, right?Harper Ryland has been on a self-imposed man ban for the last twelve months, after a particularly horrible breakup. Instead, she's focusing on the one thing she can control: her career as an up-and-coming food stylist. Harper's latest gig is her best friend's wedding, and she receives glowing praise throughout the night. When the Best Man, Manny Gomes, belittles her hard work, she wants to stab him with skewers from the buffet table, but she can think of something much better: to lead him on the entire wedding and then humiliate him in sweet revenge.When the handsome Anglo-Indian doctor shows up in New Zealand a week later, while Harper's on her first international job, it's the last thing she needs. Everything about him rubs her the wrong way, but when suave Manny steps in to help after an unfortunate disaster, his chivalry gets under her skin a little, and Harper discovers lifting her ban while overseas is exactly what the doctor ordered. Manny isn't looking for anything but fun either--especially not marriage, like his grandmother Izzy keeps pushing on him. But there's something about Harper that makes him want more, even though she keeps her distance, and they're about to discover how far he's willing to go to be with her. . . .
The Man Behind the Nose: Assassins, Astronauts, Cannibals, and Other Stupendous Yarns
by Larry HarmonThe Man Behind the Nose is the autobiography of the man who was Bozo. For 50 years Larry Harmon was the face—and the nose—of Bozo the Clown, the most well-known, beloved clown of them all, the precursor for every successful modern-day harlequin to come, from Ronald McDonald to Krusty. A warm, surprising, and endlessly entertaining life story filled to the brim with “Assassins, Astronauts, Cannibals, and Other Stupendous Tales,” The Man Behind the Nose is a rollicking ride through the world of a true American icon in greasepaint.
The Man Cave Book
by Michael H. Yost Jeff WilserWhat separates the men from the boys? The Man Cave. Boyhood Fort Man Cave Who's allowed Not girls-they have cooties Not women-they have authority Primary materials used in construction Wood, stuff your mom doesn't want Particleboard, stuff your wife doesn't want Key activities inside Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Peak periods of use After school, weekends After work, weekends Slumber parties with buddies? Yes No Food and beverages consumed Soda and unhealthy snacks Beer and unhealthy snacks Spend the night inside? Not as a habit, but it's been known to happen Not as a habit, but it's been known to happen Money spent on space As little as possible As much as possible Is this a phase you will outgrow? Yes No The Man Cave Book is a tribute to great and glorious man spaces and the craftsmen behind them. Complete with instructions and insights into creating your own unique refuge and shrine to beer, sports, and everything else that's right with the world, this is an essential manual for any man cave enthusiast.
The Man From Perfect
by Andrea Semple'A funny and sweet summer read.' Heat'The new Marian Keyes' CompanyIn life - and love - be careful what you wish for . . .After her experiences with ex-boyfriend Rob the Slob, Ella Holt has abandoned hope of ever finding the right man. So when she answers 50 questions on her perfect man in a glossy magazine, she has no idea that her responses will be used by a new state-of-the-art dating agency to find her perfect match. Naturally, Ella scoffs at the very notion of a 'perfect man', until the man from the Perfect Agency, James Master, arrives on her doorstep. Not only is he gorgeous, but spontaneous trips to Paris, declarations of love and gourmet sex all become part of her daily routine. However, as 'romance fatigue' sets in, Ella's suspicions about the consequences of her answers begin to mount. And when Rob starts to change his slobbish ways to win her back, she remembers that she asked for a man who will do anything to keep her . . . and let no one stand in his way.A smart, funny love story about why getting what you want isn't always a happy ending
The Man I Can't Forget: Eve and Adam are meant to be, they just don't know it yet.
by Eva Woods'A touching and thought-provoking page-turner about love, friendship, and the many ways in which our past defines our present. Intriguing, heartfelt and sensitively-told, I found it hard to put down and was sad to say goodbye to the characters when I'd finished.' Holly Miller, author of The Sight of YouEve and Adam are meant to be, they just don't know it yet...*What if you could remember every last detail of your life?Eve knows what her colleagues had for lunch last April. She remembers everyone who has stayed at the care home where she works, long after they've gone. Her life is small and meticulously managed.And what if you couldn't even remember your name? 'Adam' is found wandering down the central reservation of the M25. He has no memory of how he came to be there and no clue who he is.As Eve works with Adam to help him discover who he once was, her world begins to open up - beyond the care home, beyond her memories.But as Adam finally begins to remember his past, will there be room for Eve in his future?*Praise for Eva Woods and her novels:'Bittersweet' Tasmina Perry'Uplifting' Clare Mackinstosh'Smart' Emylia Hall'Joyful' Rosie Blake'Touching' Daisy Buchanan'Full of wisdom' Katie Fforde'Heart-warming and touching' Best
The Man I Never Met: A Novel
by Elle CookIs it possible to love someone you've never met? A young woman finds out in this sweeping will-they-or-won't-they love story that begins with a chance wrong number dial. . . .&“A total delight . . . achingly romantic, full of suspense, and a beautiful cast of characters.&”—Laura Jane Williams, author of Our StopWhen Hannah picks up a call from an unknown number, she thinks nothing of it—it&’s just an easygoing American named Davey who misdialed her while calling into a job interview. And when Hannah wishes him luck after clearing up the confusion, she never actually expects to hear from him again.Then she gets a text saying he got the job and he&’ll be moving to London, and she can&’t help but smile. Soon their texts become phone calls that turn into video calls, and their friendship becomes a relationship they can&’t wait to start in earnest once Davey lands in London in a month&’s time.But when Hannah goes to meet him at the airport, Davey isn&’t there—and the reason why changes both of their lives in an instant. With their future together suddenly so uncertain, they don&’t know what to do but try to move on from each other. Though their chance at love seems lost forever, neither is never far from the other&’s thoughts. Will fate intervene once more to bring the two together, or will Davey always be the man that Hannah never met?
The Man I Think I Know: A feel-good, uplifting story of the most unlikely friendship
by Mike GayleSome people just look destined for great things. And sometimes, life has other ideas.Ever since The Incident, James DeWitt has stayed on the safe side.He likes to know what happens next.Danny Allen is not on the safe side. He is more past the point of no return.But it's funny the way life is sometimes. Just when you think you know how everything is, it surprises you.And redemption can come in the most unlikely forms . . .Warm, witty and wise, Mike Gayle's new novel is a powerful story of male friendship and what we mean by success, reminding us of the simple courage at the heart of every human life.(P)2018 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Man I Think I Know: A feel-good, uplifting story of the most unlikely friendship
by Mike GayleAs seen on ITV in the Zoe Ball Book Club'Beautifully written, thought-provoking and completely charming.' Ruth Hogan'Mike Gayle is the king of touching, human stories, and this big-hearted book is his best yet' Heat, 5* This is the stunning novel from bestselling author Mike Gayle, for fans of The Keeper of Lost Things and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. A powerful and bittersweet story of an unexpected male friendship and an unlikely love story, a thought provoking storyline told with Mike's distinctive wit and insight, touching on issues which affect us all. This uplifting tale reminds us of the simple courage at the heart of every human being.Ever since The Incident, James DeWitt has stayed on the safe side.He likes to know what happens next.Danny Allen is not on the safe side. He is more past the point of no return.The past is about to catch up with both of them in a way that which will change their lives forever, unexpectedly. But redemption can come in the most unlikely ways. Look out for Mike's new novel, All the Lonely People, available to pre-order now!*******************Praise for The Man I Think I Know'Beautifully written, thought-provoking and completely charming . . . reminds us that the everyday things we take for granted without realising how precious they are, can be snatched away in an instant with catastrophic consequences' Ruth Hogan'That rarest of things; a moving, beautifully written novel about male friendship . . . I absolutely loved it' Lisa Jewell'Mike is always wise and wonderful, but this is a whole new departure for him - read it!' Jenny ColganYou'll be both laughing and on the edge of tears with this brilliant read' Fabulous magazine*******************Readers are raving about this book!'This is one of those books that is tugging on your heartstrings one moment and has you laughing out loud the next - another stunning plot line and narrative from Mike Gayle.''I loved the narrative and I left this novel feeling totally uplifted . . . I now feel like there is some hope in the world!''This book is sad, funny, quirky, touching, heartbreaking but - and this is going to sound totally cliched and corny - life affirming.'
The Man I Think I Know: A feel-good, uplifting story of the most unlikely friendship
by Mike GayleAs seen on ITV in the Zoe Ball Book Club'Beautifully written, thought-provoking and completely charming.' Ruth Hogan'Mike Gayle is the king of touching, human stories, and this big-hearted book is his best yet' Heat, 5* This is the stunning novel from bestselling author Mike Gayle, for fans of The Keeper of Lost Things and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. A powerful and bittersweet story of an unexpected male friendship and an unlikely love story, a thought provoking storyline told with Mike's distinctive wit and insight, touching on issues which affect us all. This uplifting tale reminds us of the simple courage at the heart of every human being.Ever since The Incident, James DeWitt has stayed on the safe side.He likes to know what happens next.Danny Allen is not on the safe side. He is more past the point of no return.The past is about to catch up with both of them in a way that which will change their lives forever, unexpectedly. But redemption can come in the most unlikely ways. Look out for Mike's new novel, All the Lonely People, available to pre-order now!*******************Praise for The Man I Think I Know'Beautifully written, thought-provoking and completely charming . . . reminds us that the everyday things we take for granted without realising how precious they are, can be snatched away in an instant with catastrophic consequences' Ruth Hogan'That rarest of things; a moving, beautifully written novel about male friendship . . . I absolutely loved it' Lisa Jewell'Mike is always wise and wonderful, but this is a whole new departure for him - read it!' Jenny ColganYou'll be both laughing and on the edge of tears with this brilliant read' Fabulous magazine*******************Readers are raving about this book!'This is one of those books that is tugging on your heartstrings one moment and has you laughing out loud the next - another stunning plot line and narrative from Mike Gayle.''I loved the narrative and I left this novel feeling totally uplifted . . . I now feel like there is some hope in the world!''This book is sad, funny, quirky, touching, heartbreaking but - and this is going to sound totally cliched and corny - life affirming.'
The Man In The Wooden Hat: From the Orange Prize shortlisted author
by Jane Gardam'It's a cliche to compare novelists to Jane Austen, but in the case of Jane Gardam it happens to be true. Her diamond-like prose, her understanding of the human heart, her formal inventiveness and her sense of what it is to be alive - young, old, lonely, in love - never fades' Amanda Craig'Her work, like Sylvia Townsend Warner's, has that appealing combination of elegance, erudition and flinty wit' Patrick GaleFilth (Failed In London, Try Hong Kong) is a successful lawyer when he marries Elisabeth in Hong Kong soon after the War. Reserved, immaculate and courteous, Filth finds it hard to demonstrate his emotions. But Elisabeth is different - a free spirit. She was brought up in the Japanese Internment Camps, which killed both her parents but left her with a lust for survival and an affinity with the Far East. No wonder she is attracted to Filth's hated rival at the Bar - the brash, forceful Veneering. Veneering has a Chinese wife and an adored son - and no difficulty whatsoever in demonstrating his emotions . . . How Elisabeth turns into Betty and whether she remains loyal to stolid Filth or is swept up by caddish Veneering, makes for a page-turning plot in a perfect novel which is full of surprises and revelations, as well as the humour and eccentricites for which Jane Gardam's writing is famous.
The Man In The Wooden Hat: From the Orange Prize shortlisted author
by Jane Gardam'It's a cliche to compare novelists to Jane Austen, but in the case of Jane Gardam it happens to be true. Her diamond-like prose, her understanding of the human heart, her formal inventiveness and her sense of what it is to be alive - young, old, lonely, in love - never fades' Amanda Craig'Her work, like Sylvia Townsend Warner's, has that appealing combination of elegance, erudition and flinty wit' Patrick GaleFilth (Failed In London, Try Hong Kong) is a successful lawyer when he marries Elisabeth in Hong Kong soon after the War. Reserved, immaculate and courteous, Filth finds it hard to demonstrate his emotions. But Elisabeth is different - a free spirit. She was brought up in the Japanese Internment Camps, which killed both her parents but left her with a lust for survival and an affinity with the Far East. No wonder she is attracted to Filth's hated rival at the Bar - the brash, forceful Veneering. Veneering has a Chinese wife and an adored son - and no difficulty whatsoever in demonstrating his emotions . . . How Elisabeth turns into Betty and whether she remains loyal to stolid Filth or is swept up by caddish Veneering, makes for a page-turning plot in a perfect novel which is full of surprises and revelations, as well as the humour and eccentricites for which Jane Gardam's writing is famous.
The Man In The Wooden Hat: From the Orange Prize shortlisted author
by Jane Gardam'It's a cliche to compare novelists to Jane Austen, but in the case of Jane Gardam it happens to be true. Her diamond-like prose, her understanding of the human heart, her formal inventiveness and her sense of what it is to be alive - young, old, lonely, in love - never fades' Amanda Craig'Her work, like Sylvia Townsend Warner's, has that appealing combination of elegance, erudition and flinty wit' Patrick GaleFilth (Failed In London, Try Hong Kong) is a successful lawyer when he marries Elisabeth in Hong Kong soon after the War. Reserved, immaculate and courteous, Filth finds it hard to demonstrate his emotions. But Elisabeth is different - a free spirit. She was brought up in the Japanese Internment Camps, which killed both her parents but left her with a lust for survival and an affinity with the Far East. No wonder she is attracted to Filth's hated rival at the Bar - the brash, forceful Veneering. Veneering has a Chinese wife and an adored son - and no difficulty whatsoever in demonstrating his emotions . . . How Elisabeth turns into Betty and whether she remains loyal to stolid Filth or is swept up by caddish Veneering, makes for a page-turning plot in a perfect novel which is full of surprises and revelations, as well as the humour and eccentricites for which Jane Gardam's writing is famous.