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The Picture of Dorian Greyhound (Classic Tails 4): Beautifully illustrated classics, as told by the finest breeds!
by Oscar Wilde Eliza GarrettCLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Picture of Dorian GreyhoundDorian Greyhound is the best of his breed - well-tempered, beautiful and pure of heart. So Basil Basset, an artist, paints a portrait that reflects the very essence of Dorian's soul.But soon Dorian befriends selfish hedonist Lord Henry Wooffon, and then the moral corruption of this sweet creature begins. On the outside, Dorian remains young and sleek - but as his naughtiness increases, the portrait starts to reveal the extent of his inner decay...What readers are saying about The Picture of Dorian Greyhound:'The whole book is hilarious. I need more of these Classic Tails editions in my life''Clever text, lovely illustrations''Fun references and amazing artwork. It's certainly made me want to read the original'
The Picture of Dorian Greyhound: Beautifully illustrated classics, as told by the finest breeds! (Classic Tails)
by Oscar Wilde Eliza GarrettCLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Picture of Dorian GreyhoundDorian Greyhound is the best of his breed - well-tempered, beautiful and pure of heart. So Basil Basset, an artist, paints a portrait that reflects the very essence of Dorian's soul.But soon Dorian befriends selfish hedonist Lord Henry Wooffon, and then the moral corruption of this sweet creature begins. On the outside, Dorian remains young and sleek - but as his naughtiness increases, the portrait starts to reveal the extent of his inner decay...What readers are saying about The Picture of Dorian Greyhound:'The whole book is hilarious. I need more of these Classic Tails editions in my life''Clever text, lovely illustrations''Fun references and amazing artwork. It's certainly made me want to read the original'
The Pig Comes to Dinner: A Novel (The Pig Trilogy #2)
by Joseph Caldwell&“A comic triumph&” set in a haunted Irish castle from the author of The Pig Did It (Richmond Times-Dispatch).All of the charming characters of the previous book are present again in this delightful new story. Kitty McCloud, now married to Kieran Sweeney, her former rival in one of their district&’s oldest blood feuds, has bought an ancient Irish castle with the profits from her popular revisions of classic novels like Jane Eyre. Kitty&’s American cousin, Aaron McCloud, has arrived with his new wife, the former Lolly McKeever, to redeliver to Kitty and Kieran their wedding gift of the troublesome pig, who is not at all welcome at the castle. But over their lighthearted discord hangs a weightier problem—Kitty&’s new home is inhabited by two comely ghosts from out of the castle&’s troubled past. How this haunting couple is dealt with serves only to embellish the allure and humor of Mr. Caldwell&’s uniquely theatrical storytelling.
The Pig Goes to Hog Heaven: A Novel (The Pig Trilogy #3)
by Joseph Caldwell&“A triumphant conclusion&” to the spirited Irish trilogy from the author of The Pig Did It and The Pig Comes to Dinner (Richmond Times-Dispatch). Kitty McCloud, the trilogy&’s leading lady, would let these words stand, even were she a reviser of aphorisms rather than a &“fixer&” of great literary works by the likes of Bronte, Hardy, and Eliot no less, by writing &“improved&” versions of which she makes an outsized bestselling living that affords her the dubious luxury of living in contentious bliss with her husband, Kieran Sweeney, in their ancient, haunted Irish Castle Kissane. For in Mr. Caldwell&’s new comedy—well, tragicomedy, in the truly Irish sense—almost nothing seems to be over—disappeared characters rematerialize, romances that seemed dead burst back to ardent life, and even Taddy and Brid, Castle Kissane&’s comely spirits, find new meaning in Yogi&’s remark as they resolve themselves into much-longed-for conclusions. And the pig, ah yes, the pig! The pig who started it all by rooting up the bones of the past and tipping many lives topsy turvy—that pig goes wee wee wee all the way—er—home.
The Pig Scrolls
by Paul Shipton"Filled with wild adventures, bad puns, and classical allusions, this slapstick sheds light on the gods, heroes, and philosophers of antiquity. " -- THE HORN BOOK Behold Gryllus, sarcastic former crewman of Odysseus, changed by Circe into a swine -- and happy to stay that way. Life is just fine until the prophetess Sibyl tells him that the world's in grave danger and that the only one who can save it is . . . a talking pig. Well, fan-bloomin'-tastic! Full of nonstop action and oddly familiar characters, from a lyres trumming poet to the testy gods and goddesses, this comical quest will tickle young readers and earn a place on teachers' and librarians' shelves.
The Pig Trilogy: The Pig Did It, The Pig Comes to Dinner, and The Pig Goes to Hog Heaven (The Pig Trilogy #2)
by Joseph CaldwellJoseph Caldwell&’s rollicking Pig Trilogy, a charmingly romantic three-part tale of an American in contemporary IrelandAaron McCloud has come to Ireland from New York City to walk the beach and pity himself for the cold indifference of the young lady in his writing class he had chosen to be his love. The pig will have none of that.What the pig eventually does is root up in Aunt Kitty&’s vegetable garden evidence of a possible transgression that each of the novel&’s three Irish characters is convinced the other probably benefited from. The resolution of this hilarious mystery in The Pig Did It—the first entry in Mr. Caldwell&’s Pig Trilogy—inspires both comic eloquence and a theatrically colorful canvas depicting the brooding Irish land and seascape. And in The Pig Comes to Dinner and The Pig Goes to Hog Heaven, all of the charming characters of the first book return for more tragicomedy and hijinks, told in Caldwell&’s uniquely theatrical style.
The Pigeon HAS to Go to School! (Pigeon Ser.)
by Mo WillemsThe Pigeon must go to school, but frets about math, learning the alphabet, heavy backpacks, and what the teacher and other birds will think of him.
The Pillow Book of Lotus Lowenstein
by Libby SchmaisAn adorable, completely original YA voice. Lotus Lowenstein's life ismerde. She dreams of moving to Paris and becoming an existentialist. Yet here she is trapped in Park Slope, Brooklyn, with a New-Agey mom, an out-of-work dad, and a chess champion brother who dreams of being a rock star. Merci à Dieufor Lotus’s best friend, Joni, who loves French culture enough to cofound their high school’s first French Club with Lotus. At the first meeting, the cutest boy in the world walks in. His name is Sean, and he too loves French culture and worships Jean-Paul Sartre. At first, Lotus thinks Sean is the best thing to happen to her in years. He’s smart, cultured, and adorable. Unfortunately, though, Joni feels the same way. And having an existentialist view of love, Sean sees nothing wrong with enjoying both girls’ affections. Things come to a head when all three depart for Montreal with their teacher, Ms. G, on the French Club’s first official field trip. Will Sean choose Joni over Lotus? And will Lotus and Joni’s friendship ever recover?
The Pilo Traveling Show
by Will ElliottJamie is rebuilding his life after his previous escape from the Pilo Family Circus, with no memories of the circus besides the clown outfit in his cupboard. Far below, as the circus stirs back to life, Jamie finds himself filled with urges to be a clown again (making inappropriate jokes at work, an urge to put on his clown outfit, etc. ) He also finds that his friends and family do not trust him, because of that night he was found by police in a clown suit with blood on his shoes, and no memory of what happened. But there are those who do remember what happened. As the circus rebuilds itself, seeking out past performers and enslaving new cast members, Jamie finds himself drawn back into the dark world of the diabolic big top. But this time, the clown paint has no effect on him. His evil twin -- JJ -- is dead and buried. Jamie believes there is no way to bring back that twisted side of himself. That is, until the body is found and reanimated . . .
The Pinhoe Egg (Chronicles of Chrestomanci #6)
by Diana Wynne JonesCat Chant and Marianne Pinhoe have discovered something exciting-something truly precious, very strange, and valuable. An egg. An egg that has been hidden away in an attic for who-knows-how-many years. An egg protected by some strong "Don't Notice" spells. An egg that Marianne gives to Cat, even though he lives at nearby Chrestomanci Castle. Chrestomanci himself, the strongest enchanter in the world, is sure to be interested in the egg-and interference from the Big Man is the last thing Marianne's family of secret rogue witches wants. But how much longer can the Pinhoes keep their secrets? Gammer, the leader of the clan, has gone mad, a powerful bad luck spell is wreaking havoc, and there's an unexplained plague of frogs. Not to mention the mysterious barrier Cat finds in the forest. Marianne and Cat may be the only two who can set things right. But first Marianne must accept her own powerful magic, and Cat must uncover the secrets behind the mystical Pinhoe Egg. In this new Chrestomanci book, Diana Wynne Jones is at her most magical.
The Pink Book (Beginner Books(R))
by Diane MuldrowAn over-the-top celebration of pink, as told by a small girl with a BIG imagination!In this charming Beginner Book by New York Times best-selling author Diane Muldrow, a spunky young girl encourages readers to spot the different shades of pink in the real--and sometimes imaginary--world around her. From the pearly pink inside a shell to the rosy hue she'll paint the White House when she's President, this charming ode to a beloved color is ideal for reading-aloud or reading alone. With bright, cheerful illustrations by Mike Yamada, beginning readers will be (dare we say) tickled PINK! Originally created by Dr. Seuss himself, Beginner Books are fun, funny, and easy to read. These unjacketed hardcover early readers encourage children to read all on their own, using simple words and illustrations. Smaller than the classic large format Seuss picture books like The Lorax and Oh, The Places You&’ll Go!, these portable packages are perfect for practicing readers ages 3-7, and lucky parents too!
The Pipplewaks: Book 5 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #5)
by Kes GrayNelly's phone is still ringing with lots more monster sitting requests - and each one is full of strange surprises! From helping Altigators face their fears, battling venomous Tooth Furries, to taking care of Pipplewak eggs - Nelly's monster-sitting adventures are as unpredictable and exciting as ever!This time Nelly is not babysitting a monster baby, but a monster baby egg. But Nelly needn't worry, Pipplewak eggs never hatch early, or do they?
The Pirate Bride (Viking I Series #11)
by Sandra HillJoin a band of woman pirates on “one of the funniest journeys a reader could take” from the New York Times–bestselling author of The Norse King’s Daughter (RT Book Reviews).A Viking to bed, not to wed!Medana Elsadottir, known as the Sea Scourge, never planned to become a pirate, but there’s no denying her talent. Her woman-only tribe has an island hideaway, food aplenty, goods to trade . . . everything except the means to breed. That’s where the strapping Norsemen tied up in her ship’s hold come in handy. Eight godly specimens—and Thork Tykirrson is the most virile of them all. Once their, eh, work is done, they’ll be free to leave. Medana had naught to do with this gods-awful plan, but she wouldn’t mind reaping the benefits.Wed or bed . . . this Viking has plans of his own.Renowned as the wildest Viking of his time, Thork was returning home to regain his father’s favor. Mayhap even (shudder) marry. His brazen—and very beautiful—kidnapper has likely done him a favor in preventing such an irksome fate. That doesn’t mean he’ll let her off easy. No one takes anything from a Viking that he’s not willing to give . . . not even a violet-eyed vixen who sets off the wildest fantasies.Praise for Sandra Hill“Sandra Hill always delivers smart, sexy, laugh-out-loud action.” —Christine Feehan, #1 New York Times–bestselling author“Sandra Hill writes stories that tickle the funnybone and touch the heart. Her books are always fresh, romantic, inventive, and hilarious.” —Susan Wiggs, #1 New York Times–bestselling author“Wickedly funny, deliciously sexy.” —Karen Marie Moning, #1 New York Times–bestselling author
The Pirate Captain's Cat (The Nine Lives of Furry Purry Beancat #1)
by Philip ArdaghA funny and charming NEW young fiction series from Philip Ardagh, bestselling author of The Gruntsseries andEddie Dickensadventures, and illustrated by Rob Biddulph, award-winning creator of Draw With Rob! Puuurfect for fans of Alex T. Smith, Pamela Butchart and Laura James. Meet Furry Purry Beancat – one EXTRAORDINARY cat with nine EXTRAORDINARY lives!Just like every other cat, Furry Purry Beancat loves a catnap. But unlike other cats, when Beancat wakes she ?nds herself about to embark on a whole new adventure!In this first book, join our furry (and purry!) heroine as she sets sail aboard a pirate ship, helping her captain and his shipmates fight a rival crew in an epic battle at sea! Can Furry Purry Beancat help save the day?LOOK OUT for the second Furry Purry adventure: The Railway Cat!
The Pirate Pig
by Cornelia Funke Oliver Latsch Kerstin MeyerThe beloved and bestselling author of Inkheart brings imagination, adventure, and humor to a swashbuckling full-color chapter book! Who needs a treasure map when you have a pirate pig with a nose for gold? Stout Sam and his deckhand, Pip, find a pig washed up in a barrel on the beach. They want to keep her as a pet, but they soon realize Julie is no ordinary pig. She can sniff out treasure! What happens if Barracuda Bill, the greediest and meanest pirate who ever sailed the seas, hears about Julie's special talent? Cornelia Funke's charming and fun chapter books are available to an American audience for the very first time.From the Hardcover edition.
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: A Novel (The Pirates! Series #2)
by Gideon DefoeLondon, 1840: Wagner's latest opera plays to packed houses while disgruntled workers gather in crowded pubs to eat ice cream and plan the downfall of the bourgeoisie. Meanwhile, the Pirate Captain finds himself incarcerated at Scotland Yard, in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelgänger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot that involves intellectual giants, enormous beards, and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people. Includes, at no additional charge,The Wit and Wisdom of the Pirate Captain—a Major Philosophical Work. On the Matter of Love: If you're off to fight in a battle, snap a ship's biscuit in half and give your girlfriend the other half. When you meet again, they will match—like two halves of a single soul! Hopefully, this will stop her sleeping with other men. On Life in General: Life is like a big shanty. Everything will be fine so long as everyone sings in harmony. But if someone plays a duff note on the accordion or tries to break-dance at a sensitive bit, then there will be all sorts of trouble, mark my words.
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon
by Gideon DefoeAfter adventures with Charles Darwin, Captain Ahab, and Karl Marx, The Pirate Captain faces off against his toughest-though not his biggest-challenge yet: Napoleon Bonaparte. Bruised from a crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, the Pirate Captain decides that it's time for a career change. Before long, his loyal crew, much to their dismay, find themselves en route to St. Helena, a bleak speck of an island a thousand miles from anywhere. But the Captain's plan for a quiet life rearing bees is interrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island-the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Is the island's twenty-eight mile circumference big enough to contain two of history's greatest egos? Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? And who has the best hat? Once again, Gideon Defoe has given us an exciting, swashbuckling tale of lavish tea parties, planning regulations, and raw political ambition.
The Pirates!: An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab
by Gideon DefoeThe Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists... Not since Moby-Dick...No, not since Treasure Island...Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition.Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure.While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.The Pirates! In an Adventure with AhabFresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel-purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, The Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward.Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world's most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain's novel in progress (a bodice ripper, of course), whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty-singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dramatic climax in which the Pirate Captain's Prize Ham saves the day!Move over, Herman Melville.From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Pirates!: In an Adventure with Ahah
by Gideon DefoeThey're back!!! The Pirate Captain and his irascible crew of scoundrels return in their soggiest saga yet.Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel----purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, the Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward.Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world's most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain's novel in progress (a bodice ripper, of course), whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty-singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dra-matic climax in which the Pirate Captain's prize ham saves the day!Move over, Herman Melville.From the Hardcover edition.
The Pirates!: In an Adventure with Scientists
by Gideon Defoe1837: the Victorian Era approaches and the golden age of piracy draws to a close. Worried that his pirates are getting bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies, sitting about on tropical beaches, and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's time they had an adventure. A chance encounter with the young Charles Darwin - embarked upon the voyage of discovery that will one day make him famous - leads the Captain and his rag-tag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog filled streets of Victorian London, where they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, a diabolical Bishop, the Elephant Man, and have an exciting trip to the zoo.
The Pirates!: In an Adventure with the Romantics
by Gideon DefoeIn Gideon Defoe's fifth Pirates! adventure, the dashing Pirate Captain and his intrepid crew encounter perhaps the most swashbuckling poets in history: Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and Shelley's fiancée, Mary Godwin. While visiting the shores of Lake Geneva to restore their spirits and their finances, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter some surprising fellow adventurers, literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley, and his smart, quite attractive fiancée, Mary. Together the poets and pirates embark upon a journey that leads from the curiously adventureless Switzerland into the darkest bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. Amidst haunted castles and early feminism, the Pirate Captain will confront some important questions, namely: What is the secret behind his mysterious belly tattoo? Is "Zombuloid, the corpse-beast" a better name for a monster than "Gorgo: Half-man, half-seaweed?" And, most importantly, what happens when a pirate finally falls in love?
The Pirates' Picnic (Early Reader)
by Angela McAllisterEarly Readers are stepping stones from picture books to reading books. A blue Early Reader is perfect for sharing and reading together. A red Early Reader is the next step on your reading journey.Jim the cabin boy decides that the pirates of the bad ship Scullywag need cheering up, so he suggests that they should go on a picnic. But he doesn't know that pirates' picnics are not like ordinary picnics at all. Can the Scullywag's crew avoid rain, rotten eggs and quicksand to find the perfect island to hold their party?
The Pisces: A Novel
by Melissa Broder“Bold, virtuosic, addictive, erotic – there is nothing like The Pisces. I have no idea how Broder does it, but I loved every dark and sublime page of it.” —Stephanie Danler, author of Sweetbitter Lucy has been writing her dissertation on Sappho for nine years when she and her boyfriend break up in a dramatic flameout. After she bottoms out in Phoenix, her sister in Los Angeles insists Lucy dog-sit for the summer. Annika's home is a gorgeous glass cube on Venice Beach, but Lucy can find little relief from her anxiety — not in the Greek chorus of women in her love addiction therapy group, not in her frequent Tinder excursions, not even in Dominic the foxhound's easy affection. Everything changes when Lucy becomes entranced by an eerily attractive swimmer while sitting alone on the beach rocks one night. But when Lucy learns the truth about his identity, their relationship, and Lucy’s understanding of what love should look like, take a very unexpected turn. A masterful blend of vivid realism and giddy fantasy, pairing hilarious frankness with pulse-racing eroticism, THE PISCES is a story about falling in obsessive love with a merman: a figure of Sirenic fantasy whose very existence pushes Lucy to question everything she thought she knew about love, lust, and meaning in the one life we have.
The Pitchfork of Destiny (Charming Tales #2)
by Jack HeckelLife in the Kingdom of Royaume has been happily ever for King William Pickett and his fiancée, Lady Rapunzel. But when Volthraxus, the Great Dragon of the North, returns looking for the love of his life, the Great Wyrm of the South, it becomes clear that some fairy tales never end. After Volthraxus discovers his love was slain by the newly crowned king, he seeks his revenge by kidnapping Rapunzel. Once again, Will teams up with Edward Charming, the only man in all the kingdom with the skill, ego, and dashing good looks to fight a dragon. Our heroes’ fates depend on finding a weapon re-forged in dragon blood—the Pitchfork of Destiny. But as the two set off after the dragon, Charming’s bride, Lady Elizabeth, falls into the clutches of a mysterious sorcerer known as the Dracomancer, who has his own plans for Royaume.
The Placebo Chronicles: Strange but True Tales From the Doctor's Lounge
by Douglas FarragoTrue Tales of the ridiculous, the silly, and the just plain weird cases doctors face—lampooning the medical bureaucracy that makes practicing medicine and getting medical care such a headache. Doctors have a sick sense of humor. This is the deep, dark, and hilarious secret of the medical profession revealed by the irreverent Dr. Douglas Farrago in his popular satirical magazine,Placebo Journal—affectionately known by its thousands of fanatic readers as “Madmagazine for doctors” and called, byU. S. News. com, “raunchy, adolescent, and very funny. ” Now, inThe Placebo Chronicles, Dr. Farrago has compiled the best of the most outrageous and uproarious true stories to come out of the ERs and examination rooms of doctors all over the country. Submitted by actual physicians, these are the stories they tell each other at cocktail parties and in doctors’ lounges, trading sidesplitting and truly unusual tales of their most embarrassing medical moments, the grossest things they’ve ever seen in medicine, their favorite Munchausen patients, and much more, including “The X-Ray Files”—mind-boggling anecdotes and images of the oddest foreign objects doctors have removed from patients. Not for the faint of heart, the humor inThe Placebo Chroniclesis brutally funny—just what the doctor ordered to guard against the ill effects of an M. D. ’s worst enemies: the Medical Axis of Evil, a. k. a. drug companies, HMOs, and malpractice insurers. Fully illustrated with fake advertisements—for pseudopharmaceuticals like OxyCotton Candy and Indifferex (the mediocre antidepressant)—this refreshingly honest collection invites doctors and patients alike to share the laughter, a liberal dose of the very best medicine.