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The Penguin and the Pea
by Janet PerlmanWhen a lonely Penguin Prince meets the Penguin Princess of his dreams, he asks for her fin in marriage. But can she pass the pea test and prove that she is a real princess? Janet Perlman, an award-winning animator, creates a colorful cartoon kingdom of penguin characters that are expressive and charming. This retelling of the classic tale is guaranteed to bring on the giggles! Read-Aloud edition with text highlighting. Children aged 4 - 8
The Penniless Bride
by Nicola CornickUSA Today–Bestselling Author: A nobleman needs a wife in name only—and chooses a chimney sweep’s daughter—in this fairy-tale Regency romance . . . Lord Robert Selborne intended to kiss the chimney sweep’s daughter for luck at his cousin’s wedding . . . not marry her! But of all the ladies assembled, she was the only one who captured his interest. And unless she agreed to a marriage of convenience, he would forfeit his inheritance. . . . Having been raised by a brutal father on the London streets, Jemima Jewell had few illusions about life and love. Until Rob’s lips met hers in a soul-stirring kiss and he impulsively made her his wife. And his penniless bride now hoped her love would provide Rob with a fortune far greater than the one he sought. . . . Praise for Nicola Cornick’s novels“[A] rollicking tug-of-war.” —Publishers Weekly“Delightful . . . Cornick’s characters come to life.” —Romantic Times
The Pennypackers Go on Vacation
by Lisa DoanThe cheapest family in the world decides to go on an off-brand cruise in this wacky mystery/adventure story.Mr. Pennypacker is cheap. But Mrs. Pennypacker has wrestled money for a vacation from his tightfisted grip, and the family is on their way to a Disney cruise. Charlie Pennypacker is thrilled to be going somewhere—an eleven story luxury cruise liner, 212-foot water slide, and an all-night buffet awaits! So Charlie thinks. The vacation is actually a Wisney cruise, which means a dilapidated fishing boat, fake Disney characters, no water slide, eggs for every meal, and his enemy Gunter Hwang, who has been brought along for thirty dollars a day. On top of that, the captain is on the run from sinister men in dark suits. It's a Caribbean game of cat and mouse involving wits, interrogations, a hidden room, races against time, and clever deceptions. As Mr. Pennypacker would say, you can't get this kind of adventure on those other overpriced cruises.
The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events #12)
by Lemony Snicket Brett Helquist Michael Kupperman<P>Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his bestselling Series of Unfortunate Events. Scream and run away before the secrets of the series are revealed! <P>Very little is known about Lemony Snicket and A Series of Unfortunate Events. What we do know is contained in the following brief list: <br> o The books have inexplicably sold millions and millions of copies worldwide <br> o People in more than 40 countries are consumed by consuming Snicket <br> o The movie was as sad as the books, if not more so <br> o Like unrefrigerated butter and fungus, the popularity of these books keeps spreading <P>Even less is known about book the twelfth in this alarming phenomenon. What we do know is contained in the following brief list: <br> o In this book, things only get worse <br> o Count Olaf is still evil <br> o The Baudelaire orphans do not win a contest <br> o The title begins with the word, 'The' <P> Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
The People On Privilege Hill
by Jane GardamIt is a wet day in Dorset, and walking to a luncheon party is Sir Edward Feathers QC, followed by two elderly friends: his scruffy neighbour and sparring partner, Veneering, and Fiscal-Smith, the meanest lawyer ever to make a fortune at the Bar. Fans of Jane Gardam's bestselling novel, OLD FILTH, will be delighted to encounter Filth, now almost ninety, making his immaculate way to Privilege Hill, named perhaps for the Prive-Lieges who arrived with the Normans, but more probably for the village privies. Ranging from a Victorian mansion converted into a home for unmarried mothers to a wartime hospital in the middle of the Blitz, from ghost stories to brilliant observations of love and loneliness in their various manifestations - including, in 'Pangbourne', a woman who falls in love with a gorilla - to reflections on the haphazard nature of intellect and memories in 'The Last Reunion', the stories in this collection mix Jane Gardam's trademark sardonic wit with a delicate tenderness and a touch of the surreal.
The People On Privilege Hill
by Jane GardamIt is a wet day in Dorset, and walking to a luncheon party is Sir Edward Feathers QC, followed by two elderly friends: his scruffy neighbour and sparring partner, Veneering, and Fiscal-Smith, the meanest lawyer ever to make a fortune at the Bar. Fans of Jane Gardam's bestselling novel, OLD FILTH, will be delighted to encounter Filth, now almost ninety, making his immaculate way to Privilege Hill, named perhaps for the Prive-Lieges who arrived with the Normans, but more probably for the village privies. Ranging from a Victorian mansion converted into a home for unmarried mothers to a wartime hospital in the middle of the Blitz, from ghost stories to brilliant observations of love and loneliness in their various manifestations - including, in 'Pangbourne', a woman who falls in love with a gorilla - to reflections on the haphazard nature of intellect and memories in 'The Last Reunion', the stories in this collection mix Jane Gardam's trademark sardonic wit with a delicate tenderness and a touch of the surreal.
The People Trap: Stories
by Robert SheckleyA collection of witty science fiction including a Nebula Award–nominated story. In &“Diplomatic Immunity,&” what happens when an alien ambassador arrives, telling the residents of Earth that they will be joining a galactic union whether they like it or not—and the ambassador is unkillable? The thirteen other stories in this collection are &“The People Trap,&” &“The Victim from Space,&” &“Shall We Have a Little Talk?&”, &“Restricted Area,&” &“The Odor of Thought,&” &“The Necessary Thing,&” &“Redfern&’s Labyrinth,&” &“Proof of the Pudding,&” &“The Laxian Key,&” &“The Last Weapon,&” &“Fishing Season,&” &“Dreamworld,&” and &“Ghost V.&” From the very beginning of his career, Robert Sheckley was recognized by fans, reviewers, and fellow authors as a master storyteller and the wittiest satirist working in the science fiction field. Open Road is proud to republish his acclaimed body of work, with nearly thirty volumes of full-length fiction and short story collections. Rediscover, or discover for the first time, a master of science fiction who, according to the New York Times, was &“a precursor to Douglas Adams.&”
The People We Hate at the Wedding: A Novel
by Grant Ginder"It’s for the same audience that flocked to The Nest, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? or dare I say a little book you might be a fan of, Crazy Rich Asians."— Kevin Kwan, New York Times bestselling author of Crazy Rich Asians"Sinfully good."— Elin HilderbrandEntertainment Weekly's Summer Must-ReadA Publishers Weekly BEST SUMMER BOOKS, 2017New York Post Best Books of SummerRedbook's 10 Books You Have To Read This Summer"The summer’s most compelling fictional exploration of affluence and envy. Like all the best beach reads, it eats the rich like so many frozen grapes." — Bloomberg BusinessweekRelationships are awful. They'll kill you, right up to the point where they start saving your life.Paul and Alice’s half-sister Eloise is getting married! In London! There will be fancy hotels, dinners at “it” restaurants and a reception at a country estate complete with tea lights and embroidered cloth napkins. They couldn’t hate it more. The People We Hate at the Wedding is the story of a less than perfect family. Donna, the clan’s mother, is now a widow living in the Chicago suburbs with a penchant for the occasional joint and more than one glass of wine with her best friend while watching House Hunters International. Alice is in her thirties, single, smart, beautiful, stuck in a dead-end job where she is mired in a rather predictable, though enjoyable, affair with her married boss. Her brother Paul lives in Philadelphia with his older, handsomer, tenured track professor boyfriend who’s recently been saying things like “monogamy is an oppressive heteronormative construct,” while eyeing undergrads. And then there’s Eloise. Perfect, gorgeous, cultured Eloise. The product of Donna’s first marriage to a dashing Frenchman, Eloise has spent her school years at the best private boarding schools, her winter holidays in St. John and a post-college life cushioned by a fat, endless trust fund. To top it off, she’s infuriatingly kind and decent.As this estranged clan gathers together, and Eloise's walk down the aisle approaches, Grant Ginder brings to vivid, hilarious life the power of family, and the complicated ways we hate the ones we love the most in the most bitingly funny, slyly witty and surprisingly tender novel you’ll read this year.
The People You Meet in Hell: A Troubling Almanac of the Very Worst Humans in History
by Brian BooneTrue crime monsters, historic jerks, and Earth’s lowest of the low get their dueThere’s no rest for the wicked! Darkly hilarious and deeply satisfying, The People You Meet in Hell takes comedy roasts to a whole new subterranean level. This definitive guide to humanity’s most despicable individuals tempers their gasp-worthy true crimes with mockery and a big pinch of karma administered by Satan himself. From dictators to serial killers and even everyday monsters like your micromanaging boss, this book pulls no punches. Enjoy entertaining star ratings and custom punishments from the Devil himself, complete with 40 comically gratifying illustrations:- Consummate cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer enjoys a tofu-heavy diet down below- Murderous misogynist Ted Bundy is a hit on Hell’s most horrifying dating app- Baby farmer Amelia Dyer spends a sleepless eternity surrounded by creepy porcelain dollsWith a heavy helping of posthumous humor, The People You Meet in Hell reminds you that there’s always hope. Well, maybe not for these people. But for you, probably! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cringe, and you’ll thank your lucky stars that you’re not in the crosshairs. (Yet.)
The People of the River: Large Print (The Commissioner Sanders Stories #2)
by Edgar WallaceThe second installment in the enthralling exploits of Commissioner Sanders, Great Britain&’s man in colonial AfricaCommissioner Sanders should have known better than to go on vacation. He is just a few days from his offices in British West Africa when he receives word from his second in command that trouble, always at a simmer in this jungle outpost, is about to come to a boil. He rushes home, arriving just in time for a meeting of the chiefs of his territory, who have been misled by an ambitious agitator named Bosambo into thinking that Sanders is dead. Sanders&’s return staves off rebellion, but Bosambo&’s power grab is not over yet. To keep the province from erupting into all-out tribal warfare, Sanders must outsmart the most brilliant chieftain in Africa. In these rip-roaring adventures, the heroic commissioner contends with malaria, ju-ju, and the whims of government officials safely ensconced in their London offices. The People of the River is both a good-natured thrill ride and a fascinating historical document. This ebook features a new introduction by Otto Penzler and has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.
The Pepins and Their Problems
by Polly HorvathThe unusual Pepin family confronts numerous problems, such as having a cow who creates lemonade rather than milk, and having to cope with a competitive neighbor. The reader is invited to help the Pepins solve their problems.
The Pepper Party Double Dare Disguise (The Pepper Party #4)
by Jay CooperSilliness is the Pepper Family's superpower in this hilarious family comedy for fans of The Simpsons and Family Guy.Meet the Peppers. Funny runs in the family.Megs Pepper has been grounded! But she can't miss San Pimento's ComicCon and a chance to meet her favorite superhero, Diana Pence the Unstoppable Unicorn Woman. So Megs dons a makeshift costume and sneaks out of the house. And when she foils a would-be purse snatcher, Diana makes Megs her new sidekick. Things are looking extra-super until a villain called the Poker shows up and challenges Megs and her newfound heroism. It'll take Megs, Diana, and all of the Peppers with their truly terrifying superhero alter egos to take down this super baddie once and for all.
The Pepper Party Family Feud Face-Off (The Pepper Party #2)
by Jay CooperEnough is enough when one of the Peppers decides to divorce her family in this hilarious comedy for fans of The Simpsons and Family Guy.Meet the Peppers.Funny runs in the family.Maria Pepper wants to win her school's mascot competition. But her tryout goes terribly! Her always-embarrassing family manages to humiliate her for the millionth time. So Maria decides enough is enough. The Pepper Party is about to get one person smaller!
The Pepper Party Is Completely Cursed (The Pepper Party #3)
by Jay CooperCurses and ghouls are running amok in this spootacular, hilarious family comedy for fans of The Simpsons and Family Guy.Meet the Peppers. Funny runs in the family.For the Pepper family, Halloween means costumes, candy, and... curses? When Beta Max puts on Great-Grandfather Presto's ancient magic hat for some spooky fortune-telling, he never expects his wild predictions to come true. But soon a poltergeist is haunting the hallways, his parents are zombies, and a full moon has transformed the family dog into a Chihuawolf! Can Beta stop the curse from turning the Pepper home into a real house of horrors?
The Pepper Party Picks the Perfect Pet (The Pepper Party #1)
by Jay CooperPicking the perfect pet for the Peppers is a lot harder than it seems in this hilarious family comedy for fans of The Simpsons and Family Guy.Meet the Peppers.Funny runs in the family.Annie Pepper has her heart set on adopting a Chihuahua in need. But none of the Peppers can agree on the perfect pet, and they're not above sabotage to get their way. Soon they end up with a heartbroken lovebird, the tarantula that ate San Pimiento, a prissy French kitty, and a house full of chaos! Who'll win the clash of the creatures?
The Peppermint Tea Chronicles (44 Scotland Street #13)
by Alexander McCall SmithIt is summer in Scotland Street (as it always is) and for the habitués of Edinburgh's favourite street some extraordinary adventures lie in waiting. For the impossibly vain Bruce Anderson - he of the clove-scented hair gel - it may finally be time to settle down, and surely it can only be a question of picking the lucky winner from the hordes of his admirers. The Duke of Johannesburg is keen to take his flight of fancy, a microlite seaplane, from the drawing board to the skies. Big Lou is delighted to discover that her young foster son has a surprising gift for dance but she is faced with big decisions to make on his and her futures. And with Irene now away to pursue her research in Aberdeen, her husband, Stuart, and infinitely long-suffering son, Bertie, are free to play. Stuart rekindles an old friendship over peppermint tea whilst Bertie and his friend Ranald Braveheart Macpherson get more they bargained for from their trip to the circus. And that's just the beginning . . .
The Peppermint Tea Chronicles: 44 Scotland Street Series (13) (44 Scotland Street Series #13)
by Alexander McCall SmithThe latest book in Alexander McCall Smith's popular 44 Scotland Street series is a sheer delight. Summer has come to Scotland Street. The long days have prompted its denizens to engage in flights of fancy. Some, like the Duke of Johannesburg&’s plan to create a microlite seaplane, are literal flights, and some, like the vain Bruce Anderson&’s idea of settling down with one of his many admirers, are more metaphorical.With the domineering Irene off pursuing academic challenges, Stuart and Bertie are free to indulge in summer fun. Stuart reconnects with an old acquaintance over refreshing peppermint tea while Bertie takes his friend Ranald Braveheart Macpherson to the circus. But their trip to the big top becomes rather more than the pleasant diversion they were hoping for. Once again, Scotland Street teems with the daily triumphs and challenges of those who call it home, and provides a warm, wise, and witty chronicle of the affairs in this corner of the world. AN ANCHOR BOOKS ORIGINAL
The Peppermint Tea Chronicles: A Scotland Street Novel (#13) (44 Scotland Street Series)
by Alexander McCall SmithThe latest book in Alexander McCall Smith's popular 44 Scotland Street series is a sheer delight.Summer has come to Scotland Street. The long days have prompted its denizens to engage in flights of fancy. Some, like the Duke of Johannesburg's plan to create a microlite seaplane, are literal flights, and some, like the vain Bruce Anderson's idea of settling down with one of his many admirers, are more metaphorical.With the domineering Irene off pursuing academic challenges, Stuart and Bertie are free to indulge in summer fun. Stuart reconnects with an old acquaintance over refreshing peppermint tea while Bertie takes his friend Ranald Braveheart Macpherson to the circus. But their trip to the big top becomes rather more than the pleasant diversion they were hoping for.Once again, Scotland Street teems with the daily triumphs and challenges of those who call it home, and provides a warm, wise, and witty chronicle of the affairs in this corner of the world.
The Perfect Amount of Wrong: The Rise of Alt Comedy on Chicago's North Side (The History Press)
by Mike BridenstineIn just over a decade, a tiny, do-it-yourself stand-up scene on the North Side of Chicago produced some of the most successful and influential stand-up comedians of their generation. Hannibal Buress, T.J. Miller, Kyle Kinane, Cameron Esposito, Pete Holmes, Beth Stelling, Matt Braunger and Kumail Nanjiani make up a partial list of names of comics who emerged from a scene that had very little industry attention--or even a home club. It was also a scene that took a backseat to the city's vaunted improv institution, and if we're being completely honest, it was a scene where comics mostly performed to drunks in the backs of dingy bars on their off nights. None of it was glamorous. None of it should have worked at all. But somehow, some way, the comedians from this scene have managed to etch their own names into the Chicago comedy pantheon. The Perfect Amount of Wrong is the story of that scene, as told by its veterans.
The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents
by Dale HrabiNew parents are hipper, more educated, and more sophisticated than ever, but they're also highly competitive--a lethal combination when turbocharged by the anxieties of raising a baby. And for many couples, it's not just any baby, but the perfect baby. These “excessively motivated” parents will not sabotage Junior's future by denying him Mandarin lessons, a nursery chandelier (just like the one Gwyneth's kids enjoy), or advanced infant yoga. A hilarious, highly visual satire of childrearing manuals, The Perfect Baby Handbook provides much-needed comic relief from the pressures of modern parenting, and gives comfort to moms and dads who can say with a sigh of relief, “At least, we're not this bad.”
The Perfect Catch: Based on a Hallmark Channel original movie
by Cassidy CarterShe&’s small-town. He&’s big-league. They broke up years ago… But is it really over?In the small town of Parker Falls, Jessica Parker spends her time serving pie and coming up with ideas to save the failing diner she inherited from her grandfather. A single mom to eight-year-old Wesley, she has enough to keep her busy well into the future. But when her old high school love, Chase Taynor, unexpectedly pops up, Jess finds herself thinking not of the future but of her past with the handsome professional baseball player. After a few bad pitches leave his dream career in limbo, Chase slides back home to Parker Falls…although the town may not be as safe as he&’d expected. As Jess and Chase reconnect, old feelings return in a major-league way. With the possibility that Chase could return to the baseball diamond at any time, will their reunion be worth the risk to their hearts? Or will it be déjà vu all over again, with Chase choosing the limelight over the woman he loved before the fame? The book contains a free original recipe for Bacon & White Cheddar Burgers with Spicy Mustard Relish.
The Perfect Christmas
by Caroline AndersonEmotional trauma...The trauma of their first meeting set the tone of their relationship and established their heated attractioneven before new consulting surgeon David Armstrong reached Audley Memorial Hospital.Nurse Julia Revell felt acutely alive and distinctly nervous with him on staff. Having turned her life around after a difficult marriage, she couldn’t allow herself or her little daughter, Katie, to experience another emotional nightmare. David wanted them both so much and was happy to wait—but Julia’s courage finally ran out.Then came Christmas Eve. Katie was abducted, and Julia realized how much she really needed this man at her side....
The Perfect Couple
by Elin HilderbrandFrom New York Times bestselling author Elin Hilderbrand, comes a novel about the many ways family can fill our lives with love...if they don't kill us first. *New York Times bestseller*It's Nantucket wedding season, also known as summer-the sight of a bride racing down Main Street is as common as the sun setting at Madaket Beach. The Otis-Winbury wedding promises to be an event to remember: the groom's wealthy parents have spared no expense to host a lavish ceremony at their oceanfront estate.But it's going to be memorable for all the wrong reasons after tragedy strikes: a body is discovered in Nantucket Harbor just hours before the ceremony-and everyone in the wedding party is suddenly a suspect. As Chief of Police Ed Kapenash interviews the bride, the groom, the groom's famous mystery-novelist mother, and even a member of his own family, he discovers that every wedding is a minefield-and no couple is perfect. Featuring beloved characters from The Castaways, Beautiful Day, and A Summer Affair, The Perfect Couple proves once again that Elin Hilderbrand is the queen of the summer beach read.
The Perfect Date
by Evelyn Lozada Holly LorinczWhen a single mom ends up playing an unwilling fake girlfriend to a charming playboy baseball player, love suddenly turns everything upside down in this fun, heartwarming multicultural romance.Angel Gomez has never lived by the book. A Bronx-based unwed mother by the time she was sixteen, Angel’s personal mission has always been to show the world that a Puerto Rican girl is not to be messed with—especially by a man. The only thing that matters to Angel, now, is providing for her son and earning enough tips at the club to complete her nursing degree along the way. Love is nowhere on her agenda.Caleb “The Duke” Lewis is a star pitcher for the Bronx Bolts whose romantic escapades make delicious fodder for gossip columns. But lately he’s been trying to keep a lower profile—so much so that when he meets Angel, first while she’s in her nurse uniform and the next time behind the bar, she has no idea who Duke is, fails to fall for his obvious charm, and ends up throwing a drink in his face! She is the perfect woman for Duke...to fool the tabloids into thinking he’s finally settling down. But what begins as a charade soon has Duke and Angel hurtling into a full-blown romance that rocks each of their worlds and begs the question: Is this the real deal—or are some love stories just too good to be true?
The Perfect Dog
by John O'HurleyMy son asked a question, as little boys do,Of me in my wisdom and all that I knew.“Is there a dog that is perfect?” he asked on a whim.Well, I thought,And I thought about where to begin.With all the wonderful kinds of dogs in the world, is there really just one kind that is better than all the rest? John O’Hurley’s delightfully charming and Seuss-like poem answers that question with a surprisingly perfect answer. This heartwarming message about man’s best friend, accompanied by photographs that capture the essence of dog-ness, is sure to be treasured by dog lovers and non-dog lovers alike. The book comes with an audio CD of John's reading of the poem.