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The Moment of Truth: Adventures In Parenthood That Reckless Night The Moment Of Truth (Shelter Valley Stories #13)
by Tara Taylor QuinnThe best things in life are those you don't expect... Dana Harris's world has turned upside down. So when she receives the unexpected opportunity to attend Montford University in Shelter Valley, Arizona, she sees it as the perfect time to start over. Especially when Josh Redmond adopts a puppy she's rescued. That's the beginning of an instant friendship between them, even though she senses that he's holding something back.... Still, their friendship culminates in romance-and a night together. A night that has consequences. But at Christmas, a surprise revelation and a baby-to-be bring them both comfort. And joy!
The Mommy Book
by Todd ParrWith his trademark, child-like art, Todd Parr celebrates mothers, whether they drive a minivan or a motorcycle or work in a big building or at home. Full color.
The Mommy Chronicles: Tales of a Slow-Track Mom in a Fast-Track Lane
by Leslie TonnerFollow the adventures of Charlie, an urban three-year-old on the fast track, and his slow-track mommy. In this hilarious volume, Charlie gets a haircut like Sting&’s, runs up a tab at a baseball game, and prefers the garlic press to any of his expensive &“educational&” toys. Charlie is a kid learning to be a consumer. His mommy reveals important secrets, like which stroller is &“in,&” which is the &“right&” playgroup, and how to throw a fabulous fourth birthday party. Moms and dads alike will find these anecdotes of parenting at the end of the century to be truly priceless.
The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting: The Mommy Shorts Guide To Laughing Even When You Feel Like Crying
by Ilana WilesFrom the creator of the popular blog Mommy Shorts comes a “hilarious and comforting” look at real-world motherhood (New York Times bestselling author, Jill Smokler).Ilana Wiles is not a particularly good mother. She’s not a particularly bad mother either. Like most of us, she’s somewhere in between. And she has some surprisingly good advice about navigating life as an imperfect parent. In this witty and loving homage to the every-parent, Wiles suggests that they having the best child-rearing experience of all. Using Wiles’s signature infographics and photographs to illustrate her personal and hilarious essays on motherhood, The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting is an honest book that celebrates the fun of being a mom.
The Money Culture
by Michael LewisThe classic warts-and-all portrait of the 1980s financial scene. The 1980s was the most outrageous and turbulent era in the financial market since the crash of '29, not only on Wall Street but around the world. Michael Lewis, as a trainee at Salomon Brothers in New York and as an investment banker and later financial journalist, was uniquely positioned to chronicle the ambition and folly that fueled the decade.
The Money Man (Creature Comfort)
by Carolyn McSparrenCreature Comfort, the largest animal hospital in Tennessee, treats animals of all sizes-horses and cattle as well as family pets. In this heartwarming series, you'll meet the patients and their owners, and you'll get to know the men and women who love and care for creatures great and small.Ever since she was a child, Dr. Sarah Marsdon has known she wanted to be a vet. Now she's joined the staff of Creature Comfort-a state-of-the-art animal hospital in Memphis. She's professional, dedicated and determined to save every one of her patients. And no bean counter is going to stand in her way.Mark Scott doesn't know much about animals. He does know about profit and loss, which is why he's in charge of the clinic's budget. And he intends to stick to his business plan.Until Dr. Sarah-and a small abandoned puppy named Nasdaq-show him that his calculations are dead wrong.
The Money-Whipped Steer-Job Three-Jack Give-Up Artist: A Novel
by Dan JenkinsDan Jenkins virtually invented the golf novel with the classic Dead Solid Perfect, his rollicking account of the life and times of PGA touring pro Kenny Lee Puckett. For thirty years his fans have waited for the follow-up; in The Money-Whipped Steer-Job Three-Jack Give-Up Artist, Jenkins has surpassed himself. Bobby Joe Grooves is a sixteen-year tour veteran trying to turn his one annual tournament win and considerable Texas charm into his first appointment to the Ryder Cup team.
The Monster Book of Creature Features: Wiley & Grampa's First Three Adventures (Wiley & Grampa's Creature Features)
by Kirk ScroggsThis utterly absurd, wacky and weird compilation of the first three books in the Wiley & Grampa's Creature Features series is packed with monsters, mayhem, and pictures on every page! In the rip-roaring adventures, Wiley and goofy Grampa get mixed up with everything from vampires to zombies to a legendary sea monster and always manage to land in deep doodoo. Luckly, they have no-nonsense Gramma and a troop of neighborhood friends to swoop in and save the day! At over three hundred pages, this volume includes fan favorites Dracula vs. Grampa at the Monster Truck Spectacular, Grampa's Zombie BBQ, and Monster Fish Frenzy.
The Monster Book of NSFW Jokes
by Editors of Funny.comHilariously Funny Off-Color Jokes That Are Absolutely NOT SAFE FOR WORKFunny.com brings you the most raunchy, inappropriate and politically incorrect jokes to share with your coworkers when the boss isn't around. From blondes and brunettes to politicians and proctologists, this collection of twisted jokes has something to offend everyone. So if you e-mail one to a friend, don't forget to label it NSFW.How do you break the nose of a blonde?You place a dildo under a glass table.What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme.What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? Forty-five pounds.What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? Forty-five minutes.Why is it so hard for a woman to find a sensitive, caring and good-looking boyfriend? Because those men already have boyfriends.Why are hurricanes normally named after women? Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, you've lost your house and car.What's the difference between a New York zoo and an Alabama zoo? The cages at the Alabama zoo have a description of the animal plus a recipe.
The Monster Missions
by Laura MartinFrom the critically acclaimed author of Float and Glitch comes a new standalone adventure under the sea, perfect for fans of Gordon Korman and Dan Gutman! Berkeley and her best friend, Garth, live on an old cruise ship, scavenging for supplies from the drowned cities left behind on the ocean floor after the sea swallowed up all the land. They think they’ve seen every kind of aquatic creature, but they never expected to find sea monsters… After awakening a Hydra, Berkeley and Garth are sent to live on a submarine, where they study and hunt sea monsters. But the Hydra wants revenge on their home ship—and if it succeeds, their families will go down with it. Berkley, Garth, and their crew must find a way to save the ship. But monsters aren’t the only deadly things lurking in the ocean’s depths.
The Monster Who Ate My Peas
by Danny SchnitzleinThis hilarious picture book from author Danny Schnitzlein will have picky eaters begging for more.What do you dread eating the most? For one young boy, it's peas, but he's discovered a seemingly simple solution. He makes a bargain with a fiendishly funny monster who will eat the boy's peas in exchange for his soccer ball. But soon, peas are on the menu again and with each new encounter, the monster's demands escalate. Eventually, our hero faces a daunting decision―can he conquer his loathing for peas, or will he lose his most prized possession?Danny Schnitzlein's verse combines with Matt Faulkner's uproariously detailed illustrations to create a clever story about how far we're willing to go to avoid the things we hate.
The Monster Who Did My Math
by Danny SchnitzleinA math-phobic boy faces another dreaded evening of multiplication when a monster suddenly appears in his room and offers him a deal he cannot refuse.After a quick signature on a contract, the boy's problems are solved, and his homework is ready to turn in the next day. At first, everything adds up perfectly. But when the boy's math knowledge is tested at school, his troubles begin to multiply. What did the fine print on that contract read?"In paragraph seven of clause ninety-three,"If you don't learn anything, do not blame me!"When the bill comes due, will our hero have the money—and the math skills—to subtract that wicked monster from his life once and for all?
The Monster in the Night: Independent Reading Blue 4 (Reading Champion #584)
by Sarah SnashallThis story is part of Reading Champion, a series carefully linked to book bands to encourage independent reading skills, developed with Dr Sue Bodman and Glen Franklin of UCL Institute of Education (IOE)There's a monster in Milly's house, and Milly is sure it's in Mum's bedroom! She goes to investigate ...Reading Champion offers independent reading books for children to practise and reinforce their developing reading skills.Fantastic, original stories are accompanied by engaging artwork and a reading activity. Each book has been carefully graded so that it can be matched to a child's reading ability, encouraging reading for pleasure.Perfect for 5-6 year olds or those reading book band blue 4.
The Monster on the Bus
by Josh Lieb"Now I know why Mom made me ride my bike to school. I missed so much!" —Stephen Colbert, host of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"Josh Lieb continues to put out hilarious children's books that make up for his conspicuous lack of hilarious children's existential one act plays. Get on that, Lieb!!" —Jon Stewart, host of The Problem with Jon Stewart A spooky and hilarious spin on a classic children&’s song, from the author of Chapter Two is Missing and the illustrator of The Panda ProblemIt&’s the first day of school, and for Cassius and Angelique, that means their first ride on the school bus. The school bus can be a little intimidating for first-time riders! Will you have a friend to sit next to? Will the driver be nice? . . . and in the case of this bus ride, will that monster eat your backpack?As the wheels go round and round, the bus gets more and more off course. Is that. . .a T. Rex sitting in the back? And doesn&’t that look like a wizard sitting in the front? Cassius and Angelique must outsmart a wild cast of characters if they want to make it to school on time!
The Monster on the Road Is Me
by J.P. RomneyJ.P. Romney's The Monster on the Road Is Me is a darkly comic debut novel about the unexpected strength we find when we are tested beyond our limits.It starts with the crows. When you see them, you know he’s found you.Koda Okita is a high school student in modern-day Japan who isn’t very popular. He suffers from narcolepsy and has to wear a watermelon-sized helmet to protect his head in case he falls. But Koda couldn’t care less about his low social standing. He is content with taking long bike rides and hanging out in the convenience store parking lot with his school-dropout friend, Haru. But when a rash of puzzling deaths sweeps his school, Koda discovers that his narcoleptic naps allow him to steal the thoughts of nearby supernatural beings. He learns that his small town is under threat from a ruthless mountain demon that is hell-bent on vengeance. With the help of a mysterious—and not to mention very cute—classmate, Koda must find a way to take down this demon. But his unstable and overwhelming new abilities seem to have a mind of their own…
The Monster's Daughter: Book 2 of the Ministry of SUITs (Ministry of S.U.I.T.s)
by Paul GambleMemo: For Ministry of Strange, Unusual, and Impossible Things Operatives OnlyRe: The Monster's Daughter by Paul GambleThere is more trouble in Belfast: odd things are happening at the aquarium, giant crabs are staging jail breaks, and formerly harmless bath bombs are destroying bathrooms left and right.Fortunately, our brave new recruits—Jack, a curious boy skilled at logical thinking, and Trudy, the most dangerous girl in school—are on the case. Armed with the best Ministry training (as long as you don't panic everything will be fine) and full access to Ministry supplies (those that weren't ruined in the recent flood), we are confident that they can discover and foil this villainous plot.Please give them all possible assistance. Oh, and be sure not to share their location, as Jack is still on the run from the Tooth Fairy.
The Monster's Ring: A Magic Shop Book (The Magic Shop Books #1)
by Bruce CovilleTwist it once, you're horned and haired;Twist it twice and fangs are bared;Twist it thrice? No one has dared!Russell is sure that the ring he gets at Mr. Elives' shop is just a silly magic trick, but he follows the instructions and twists the ring twice anyway—and becomes a monster!Includes an author's note.
The Monsters Next Door (The Bailey City Monsters #1)
by Debbie Dadey Marcia Thornton JonesBailey City has some weird grown-ups. It's the perfect place for spooky Hauntly Manor Inn. Could Dracula, a mad scientist, and Frankenstein's monster be living there?
The Monsters in Your Neighborhood
by Jesse PetersenAs one of Frankenstein's Creatures, Natalie Gray knows that unique parts sometimes make up a great whole. Still, leading a diverse support group for monsters--now including Cthulhu!--isn't an easy task. Especially not since the internet arrived. New York City embraces the different and the bizarre. Still, even for such a fun-loving city, the supernatural and monstrous might be a bit too much. It's been six months since the members of "Club Monstrosity" overcame the most recent spate of anti-monster violence and they've reestablished their routine of meeting in a church basement once a week to (ugh!) talk about their feelings. Still, they also know a war against them is brewing. Natalie and Alec (the werewolf) have begun dating, and the mummies Kai and Rehu are tighter than a bug in a...well, bandage. But when modern means (YouTube, Twitter, bits and bytes) are used to chilp away at the solidarity of these ancient monsters, it's up to Natalie to save the day. #MonstersInNewYork may be trending on Twitter, but this girl's trending toward saving the day...somehow.
The Monsters of Morley Manor
by Bruce CovilleWhat do you get when you mix together-- werewolves, vampires, mad scientists, wizards, aliens, alternate dimensions, tiny people, Transylvania, ancient curses, giant frogs, evil clones, ghosts, lawyers, shape-changers, fallen angels, journeys through hell, zombie warriors, body snatchers, and two clever kids in whose hands rests the fate of Earth? --The latest madcap adventure-comedy-fantasy-mystery from bestselling novelist Bruce Coville, that's what.
The Monsters on the Bus (Little Golden Book)
by Sarah Albee Joe EwersThe Wheels on the Bus, a perennial favorite of the toddler set, gets a uniquely Sesame Street spin in this very funny Little Golden Book. Elmo, Grover, and Cookie Monster board a bus and meet some wacky passengers, including a furball with a boombox, frogs, cows, a brass band, and a family of yipping Martians. The sound effects in the chorus reflect the voices and activities of the passengers in a way that will have little ones--and adults--laughing out loud as they join in the song.
The Monsters on the Bus (Little Golden Book)
by Sarah AlbeeThe Wheels on the Bus, a perennial favorite of the toddler set, gets a uniquely Sesame Street spin in this very funny Little Golden Book. Elmo, Grover, and Cookie Monster board a bus and meet some wacky passengers, including a furball with a boombox, frogs, cows, a brass band, and a family of yipping Martians. The sound effects in the chorus reflect the voices and activities of the passengers in a way that will have little ones—and adults—laughing out loud as they join in the song.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
The Monsters' Guide to Choosing a Pet
by Roger McGough Brian PattenRoger McGough and Brian Patten have selected the very best of their animal poems in order to help two loveable monsters from outer space who visit Earth in search of a pet and need a bit of guidance...Split into sections, the monsters are introduced to animals that fly, swim, crawl and purr by two of our greatest childrens poets. Illustrated in Guy Parker-Rees' lively and intimitable style.
The Monstrous Adventures of Mummy Man and Waffles
by Steve Behling"Mummy Man and Waffles is a nonstop thrill, chill, and slimy spill ride full of creepy crawlers and ludicrous laughs!" —John Patrick Green, New York Times bestselling author of the InvestiGators seriesGet ready for some spooky fun in the first installment of this all-new middle grade series from author Steve Behling, featuring side-splitting illustrations throughout by Robb Mommaerts!Wen Wyler (aka Waffles) is 11 years old and is forced to spend the summer in Maine with his grandpa, a former Hollywood make-up and special effects artist for classic horror films. Ever seen THE BEAST WITH A THOUSAND TOES, GLAARG! Or its sequel GLAARG! AGAIN!? If so, then you might be familiar with his work.Wen, a horror movie aficionado, is persuaded to go when he finds out that part of the summer will be spent helping his Grandpa sort through and organize his basement filled with props. Grandpa’s young neighbor, Tanya, has already been corralled into helping and together they dig in until Wen accidentally brings one of the props to life. Mummy Man is a good guy, but the other creatures AREN’T so good. It’s up to Wen, Tanya, and Mummy Man (and his pet turtle, Frank) to stop the creatures from turning the town into the nexus for an all-out monster invasion.
The Monstrous Memoirs of a Mighty McFearless
by Ahmet ZappaBeware! Only those who are McFearlessly brave may read from the pages of these monstrous memoirs. Crack open the "creature-skin" cover--if you dare--and enter the monsterminating world of 11-year-old Minerva McFearless, her brother Max, and their mysterious coyote friend, Mr. Devilstone, as they battle the evil army of the king of all monsters--the dreaded Zarmaglorg! This one-of-a-kind novel features full-color illustrations throughout and offers "scientific" data on all the terrifying things that go bump in the night, as well as recipes for keeping the bloodthirsty beasts at bay. First-time author Ahmet Zappa delivers a horrifying and hysterical tale that will be sure to bewitch readers of all ages.