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The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Jane Austen
by Max Morris"Wisdom is better than wit,” said Jane Austen in a letter to Fanny Knight, "and in the long run will certainly have the laugh on her side.”Have you ever wanted to contribute to a discussion with an astute observation on unrequited love? Give advice to a peer on how to dress for a night out? Or end an argument with a biting quip on feminist politics? The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Jane Austen is the perfect pocket book to carry around in your bag as you meditate on Austen’s surprisingly modern and perceptive life philosophies set against the backdrop of eighteenth century mores. Discover what she had to say about style and dress, men and women, love and heartbreak, keeping up with appearances, arts and graces, health and happiness, and more, and stock up your arsenal of wicked and practical wisdoms as you navigate life.Beautifully designed and curated, this entertaining collection compiles the wisest and wittiest Austen quotations that speak of the novelist’s enduring legacy in contemporary pop culture. Full of sense and sensibility, The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Jane Austen is sure to delight devoted fans and casual readers alike.
The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of William Shakespeare
by Max Morris“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,” said the world’s greatest and most preeminent English writer of all time, William Shakespeare.Have you ever wanted to quote the most quoted writer in the English language? Deliver the most inventive and debasing Shakespearean insult (“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!”)? Recite titillating love poetry like a modern-day Romeo to his (or her) Juliet? Or commit a learned wisdom about life’s woes to memory? The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of William Shakespeare is the perfect pocket book to carry around in your arsenal. Laugh, cry, rage, and muse along with beloved (or not so beloved) Shakespeare characters like Hamlet, Lady Macbeth, King Lear, and Cleopatra on the topics of love, art, beauty—as well as life’s most irreverently relevant insights. Full of savvy wisdoms from works such as Twelfth Night, Othello, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, As You Like It, and many others, this inspiring collection compiles the wisest and wittiest Shakespearean quotations that speak of the writer’s enduring legacy—even in contemporary pop culture.
The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill
by Max Morris"For myself I am an optimist,” said legendary British politician Winston Churchill. "It does not seem to be much use being anything else.”Have you ever wanted to deliver the ultimate Churchillian wisecrack? Give sound advice to a peer on how to deal with life’s problems? Or contribute to a heated discussion on international politics? The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is the perfect pocket book to carry around in your arsenal as you laugh at Churchill’s devious brand of smarts and learn from his political and humanist outlook on life during the turmoil of the Second World War. Discover what he had to say about domestic politics, war and peace, power, struggles and strife, education, philosophy, and some of the biggest names of his time, including himself.Beautifully designed and curated, this entertaining collection compiles the wisest and wittiest Churchill quotations that speak of the politician’s enduring legacy in contemporary pop culture. Full of savvy and wisdoms, The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is sure to delight devoted fans of history and casual readers alike.
The Smartest Book in the World: A Lexicon of Literacy, A Rancorous Reportage, A Concise Curriculum of Cool
by Greg Proops<p>From the brazen, bold, and beloved comic and podcast star Greg Proops comes an electrifying, thought-provoking, and unrelenting collection of rapid-fire references, historical name-checking, Satchel Paige bon mots, and genuine wisdom. <p>Greg Proops is an internationally renowned comedian, best known for starring on the hit improv comedy show <i>Whose Line Is It Anyway?</i> and for his popular award-winning podcast, "The Smartest Man in the World," which <i>Rolling Stone</i> called "some of the boldest comedy on the podcasting frontier right now." But Proops is also a fountain of historical knowledge, a wealth of pop culture trivia, and a generally charming know-it-all. <p><i>The Smartest Book in the World</i> is based on Proops's sensational, iTunes Top 10 podcast that has been downloaded more than nine million times, in which his "bold, never-boring voice takes center stage" (<i>The New York Times</i>). The book is a rollicking reference guide to the most essential areas of knowledge in Proops's universe, from the noteworthy names of the ancient world and baseball, to the movies you must see and the albums you must hear. <p>Complete with history's juiciest tales and curious back-stories, Proops expounds on the merits of poetry and proper punctuation, delivering this wealth of information with his signature style and Proopsian panache. An off-beat and exuberant guide to everything, <i>The Smartest Book in the World</i> gives you everything you need to know to always be the smartest person in the room. Well, unless the Proopmaster is there, too.
The Smartest Kid in the Universe (The Smartest Kid in the Universe #1)
by Chris Grabenstein"Chris Grabenstein just might be the smartest writer for kids in the universe." --James PattersonWhat if you could learn everything just by eating jellybeans?! Meet the Smartest Kid in the Universe and find out in this fun-packed new series from the Bestselling Author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library and coauthor of Max Einstein! 12 year old Jake's middle school is about to be shut down--unless Jake and his friends can figure out how to save it. When Jake spies a bowl of jellybeans at the hotel where his mom works, he eats them. But those weren't just jellybeans, one of the scientists at his mom's conference is developing the world's first ingestible information pills. And THAT'S what Jake ate.Before long, Jake is the smartest kid in the universe. But the pills haven't been tested yet. And when word gets out about this new genius, people want him. The government. The mega corporations. Not all of them are good people! Can Jake navigate the ins and outs of his newfound geniusdom (not to mention the ins and outs of middle school) and use his smarts to save his school? BONUS! Includes extra brainteasers to test your smarts!"Clever, fast-paced and incredibly funny--Chris Grabenstein has done it again." --Stuart Gibbs, New York Times Bestselling author of Spy School
The Smartest Kid in the Universe Book 2: Genius Camp (The Smartest Kid in the Universe #2)
by Chris Grabenstein"Chris Grabenstein just might be the smartest writer for kids in the universe." —James PattersonThe Smartest Kid in the Universe goes to genius camp in book two of this action-packed series from the New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library!Jake McQuade is the smartest kid in the universe—and he's back to defend his title! This time, he is heading off to a camp for geniuses sponsored by billionaire tech mogul (and brilliant inventor) Zane Zinkle. But genius camp is not like regular camp. There are limo buses, robot polar bears, and high-tech cabins with high-tech toilets! But it isn&’t all fun and brain games at camp, especially when Jake goes up against the artificially intelligent Virtuoso quantum computer—the smartest machine in the universe—which also happens to be Zinkle&’s latest genius creation! It's boy versus bot in this epic showdown packed with s'mores, puzzles, action, adventure, and hilarious, jelly bean-fueled fun! Bonus puzzle included!
The Smash-Up: a delicious satire from a breakout voice in literary fiction
by Ali BenjaminAN OF-THE-MOMENT NOVEL FOR READERS OF FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE'Timely, risky and dazzling' Polly Clark, author of Tiger'Sharply funny, perceptive, and surprising at every turn, The Smash-Up is a story that's acid-etched and full of heart, intimate, and relevant' Amy Bloom, New York Times bestselling author of White Houses and Away'Every woman should read this book. Every woman, every feminist, every activist' Jane Harris, author of Orange Prize shortlisted The ObservationsAfter years spent in the city, working with his business partner Randy on Bränd media, Ethan finds himself in the quiet, closed-off town of Starkfield. His wife Zenobia is perpetually distracted by the swirling #MeToo politics, the Kavanaugh hearings, and her duties to the feminist activism group she formed: All Them Witches. Ethan finds himself caught between their regular meetings at his home and the battle to get his livewire daughter Alex to sleep.But the new, stilted rhythm of his life is interrupted when he receives a panicked message. Accusations. Against Randy. A slew of them. And Ethan is abruptly forced to question everything: his past, his future, his marriage, and what he values most.Unrelenting in its satire, The Smash-up jolts you into the twisted psyche of successful brand advertising, where historic exploitation is only ever a panicked phone-call away. With magnetic energy and doses of comic wit, Benjamin creates a world of social media algorithms, extreme polarization, the collapsing of identity into tweet-sized spaces, and the spectre of violence that can be found even in the quietest places.
The Smell of Fear (Fountas & Pinnell Classroom, Guided Reading)
by Ronan McCarthy Simon DupuisNIMAC-sourced textbook. A POWERLESS SUPERHERO. Señor Sniffer has the world's most powerful sense of smell. One sniff and he knows where the villains are hiding, how they're armed, and what they had for breakfast. But when his power is taken away, can he still save the day?
The Smell of Wet Dog: And Other Dog Poems and Drawings
by Barney SaltzbergEqual parts heart-melting and stinky, The Smell of Wet Dog is a must-have illustrated poetry book for every young canine fan.The smell of wet dog is not a good smell.When a dog is wet it&’s easy to tell.Imagine moose and skunk perfume.An odiferous stench, a paint-peeling plume.Beloved author and illustrator Barney Saltzberg offers up twenty-seven poems on the evergreen topic of human&’s best friend. Many have all the humor of a Shel Silverstein classic. Others are unexpectedly poignant, about separation anxiety or older dogs growing less spry. All are accompanied by Saltzberg&’s lively and loveable artwork. Whether you are a dog lover, love a dog lover, or are simply dog-curious, The Smell of Wet Dog is for someone in your life. One thing&’s for sure: You&’ll leave this book inspired to write an ode to a furry friend of your own!A Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection
The Smelly Search (Geronimo Stilton Cavemice #13)
by Geronimo StiltonFor cavemouse Geronimo Stiltonoot, life is one prehistoric problem after another!Geronimo Stiltonoot and friends have been invited to participate in a Stone Age treasure hunt! How fun! The one issue is that it has been set up by Gossip Radio host Sally Rockmousen, Geronimo's rival. Is it some sort of trick? The hunt is full of difficult riddles and very stinky dinosaurs... but nothing will stop Geronimo's team!
The Smugglers' Secret: Book 5 (Something Wickedly Weird #5)
by Chris MouldStanley Buggles holds the key to the smugglers' map.But does he dare to uncover its ancient secrets? What will happen if he ventures down into the treacherous tunnels?And who is following behind...?Originally published under the title 'The Smugglers' Mine'.
The Smurfs 2 Movie Novelization
by Stacia DeutschExperience the action-packed adventure of The Smurfs 2 in this retelling of the new film. Includes plenty of of images from the movie! It's SMURFTASTIC! The second Smurfs movie releases July 31, 2013!The evil wizard Gargamel is up to no good again in this electrifying sequel to The Smurfs. To enhance his magical powers, Gargamel seeks to harness the all-powerful, magical Smurf essence by creating a group of mischievous Smurf-like creatures called the Naughties. But when he discovers that only a secret spell that Smurfette knows can turn the Naughties into real Smurfs, Gargamel kidnaps Smurfette and imprisons her in the city of Paris. To save their beloved Smurfette, Papa and the Smurfs return to our world and reunite with Patrick and Grace Winslow, joined in their new adventure by Patrick's stepfather, Vic. Will Papa and the gang save Smurfette before Gargamel can learn the secret spell and take over the world? Find out in this retelling of The Smurfs 2! SMURFSTM & © Peyo 2013 Licensed through Lafig Belgium/IMPS. The Smurfs 2, the Movie © 2013 Sony Pictures Animation Inc. and Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
The Snake Has All the Lines
by Jean KerrThe #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Please Don&’t Eat the Daisies offers another hilarious look at home life, show business, and more. Jean Kerr played many roles in her life, from exasperated mother to Broadway playwright and keen observer of mid-twentieth century suburbia. She also became one of America&’s most beloved humorists by sharing her insights and anecdotes in a series of popular newspaper columns. In The Snake Has All the Lines, Kerr explores topics ranging from family vacations and modern convenience to the trials and tribulations of opening a new play. With her inimitable wit, she reminds us that while life may be a day at the beach, a day at the beach with small children can have you questioning your life choices in no time.
The Snark Bible: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring, Comebacks, Irony, Insults, and So Much More
by Lawrence DorfmanThe lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that's sure to change your life-or at least induce a light chuckle.One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark."She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork." -Jonathan Swift"Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum." -P. G. Wodehouse"He's a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post." -Tom Waits"They hardly make 'em like him anymore-but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway." -Hunter S. Thompson"He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks" -Lily Tomlin"He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair." -Theodore RooseveltSnark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that's saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!
The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring (Snark Series)
by Lawrence DorfmanIt's impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment--better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one's disposal and hence (yes, I used "hence"), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off. Included here is the Snark Hall of Fame, the Best Snarky Responses to Everyday Dumbassness, and much more. It's a book that will make you laugh. It's a book that will make someone else cry. It's a book every student of the American psyche (that's all of us, Sparky) needs to have. Let loose. Let your inner anger become a positive rather than a negative, but most of all, have fun. (Yeah, like that's something you know how to do.)
The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring (Snark Series)
by Lawrence DorfmanIt’s impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment—better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one’s disposal and hence (yes, I used “hence”), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off. Included here is the Snark Hall of Fame, the Best Snarky Responses to Everyday Dumbassness, and much more. It’s a book that will make you laugh. It’s a book that will make someone else cry. It’s a book every student of the American psyche (that’s all of us, Sparky) needs to have. Let loose. Let your inner anger become a positive rather than a negative, but most of all, have fun. (Yeah, like that’s something you know how to do.)
The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition (Snark Series)
by Lawrence DorfmanAuthor Lawrence Dorfman claims: "I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don't have to be nice anymore." In this latest incarnation of his bestselling series, Dorfman is in delicious form, dishing it out without any real consequences. The sharp-witted buyer (and that's you, my friend) may be wondering right about now: "Hey, how is this book any different from the first? That was full of insults, too." Yes, but these insults are different, and the author's retorts and taunts are so much more vitriolic than in the previous book. Readers will find more material to actually use in day-to-day life, including streamlined instructions on when and how to mock your peers; how to use retorts with your spouse and children; and how our late, great ancestors used insults throughout history. This is not a mere collection of quotations. Dorfman speaks directly to his audience, serving as teacher, ringleader, and historian. After all, not all insults are snarky, and not all snark is insulting. It takes a certain genius to define and navigate the fine line between idiotic commentary and intelligent snark, a genius that has been isolated and packaged with aplomb in the new Snark Handbook: Insult Edition.
The Snark Handbook: Overused Buzzwords, Hackneyed Phrases, and Other Misuses of the English Language
by Lawrence DorfmanCLICHÉ: nounEtymology: French, literally, printer's stereotype, from past participle of clichér, to stereotype, of imitative originDate: 18921 : a trite phrase or expression; also : the idea expressed by it2 : a hackneyed theme, characterization, or situation3 : something that has become overly familiar or commonplace In the words of Stephen Fry, "It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue." Clichés are like rationalizations: try going a week without using one. It can't be done! They are the hobgoblin of little minds. For most of us, once you begin to take notice, they are fingernails on a chalkboard.From Shakespeare to Shakira; in music, on television, at the movies; in the boardroom, on a conference call, online or in person, clichés have taken over the world. While some nitwits might say they're just misunderstood, they didn't start out that way. There was a time when they were new and vibrant, clever and pithy. Now they're just predictable--a vapid collection of much-too-familiar descriptions or metaphors that often replace smart conversation, speech, or writing.This book is a collection of the most overused phrases of all time. Hopefully, it'll make you laugh. Hopefully, it'll make them think. And at the end of the day, if the early bird catches the worm and the slow and steady win the race . . . Please . . . kill . . . me . . . now.
The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition (Snark Series)
by Lawrence DorfmanAnother political year is upon us . . . a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum. In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You'll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!
The Snark Handbook: Sarcasm, Bitterness, and the Holiday Season (Snark Series)
by Lawrence DorfmanBah! Humbug! It&’s that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find &“good cheer,&” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year&’s; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • &“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.&”—Victor Borge • &“If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.&”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • &“What I don&’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.&”—Phyllis DillerThe Snark Handbook: Christmas Edition is destined to be a holiday classic.
The Sneetches and Other Stories
by SeussDr. Seuss creates another timeless picture-book classic with The Sneetches and Other Stories. Are you a Star-Belly Sneetch or a Plain-Belly Sneetch? This delightful book contains four tales with deliciously subtle takes on how silly it is to be, well, silly. “The Sneetches,” “The Zax,” “Too Many Daves,” and “What Was I Scared Of?” make this energetic compilation a must-have for every library. Full of Dr. Seuss’s signature rhymes and unmistakable characters, it’s perfect for new and lifelong Seuss fans.
The Sneetches and Other Stories (Classic Seuss)
by Dr. SeussAn iconic collection of original stories from Dr. Seuss that includes the official versions of "The Sneetches," "The Zax," "Too Many Daves," and "What Was I Scared Of?" This is a beloved classic that deserves a place in every child&’s library—from the bestselling author of Horton Hears a Who!, The Lorax, and Oh, the Places You&’ll Go! The Sneetches got really quite smart on that day,The day they decided that Sneetches are SneetchesAnd no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches.The original collection includes the only complete versions of the following entertaining and insightful tales: "The Sneetches": The Star-Belly Sneetches and the Plain-Belly Sneetches learn to overcome their differences. "The Zax": When a North-Going Zax encounters a South-Going Zax traveling in the opposite direction, will their refusal to budge keep them both from going anywhere? "Too Many Daves": A mother who names all twenty-three of her sons &“Dave&” learns too late that a little individuality is a good thing! "What Was I Scared Of?": This delightfully silly story about a spooky pair of empty green pants delivers an important message about fear and tolerance.In these four timeless stories, Dr. Seuss challenges the assumption that we need to look the same or behave the same to find common ground. Filled with Dr. Seuss's signature rhymes and lively humor, this classic story collection is a must-have for readers of all ages, and is ideal for sparking discussions about tolerance, diversity, and acceptance.
The Sneetches and Other Stories: Read & Listen Edition (Classic Seuss)
by Dr. SeussDr. Seuss creates another timeless picture-book classic with The Sneetches and Other Stories. Are you a Star-Belly Sneetch or a Plain-Belly Sneetch? This delightful book contains four tales with deliciously subtle takes on how silly it is to be, well, silly. &“The Sneetches,&” &“The Zax,&” &“Too Many Daves,&” and &“What Was I Scared Of?&” make this energetic compilation a must-have for every library. Full of Dr. Seuss&’s signature rhymes and unmistakable characters, it&’s perfect for new and lifelong Seuss fans.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
The Snottle
by Michael LawrenceFifth title in the best-selling Jiggy McCue series. A new girl at Jiggy's school has an allergy - her nose runs dramatically at unexpected times. Everyone shuns her except Angie, to Pete and Jiggy's disgust. One day, in class, the new girl does a mighty sneeze, spraying snot all over the window, and Jiggy sees pictures in it that foretell the future. It turns out that the girl has reached the age where females in her family develop a Gift - hers is to be able to tell the future via her nose - she's something of a Nostrilamus. Meanwhile, the three friends, Jiggy, Pete and Angie have found a creature on the council tip - a small, brown, furry character, the Snottle, that seems to have a strange bond with the new girl...
The Snottle (Jiggy McCue #5)
by Michael LawrenceFifth title in the best-selling Jiggy McCue series. A new girl at Jiggy's school has an allergy - her nose runs dramatically at unexpected times. Everyone shuns her except Angie, to Pete and Jiggy's disgust. One day, in class, the new girl does a mighty sneeze, spraying snot all over the window, and Jiggy sees pictures in it that foretell the future. It turns out that the girl has reached the age where females in her family develop a Gift - hers is to be able to tell the future via her nose - she's something of a Nostrilamus. Meanwhile, the three friends, Jiggy, Pete and Angie have found a creature on the council tip - a small, brown, furry character, the Snottle, that seems to have a strange bond with the new girl...