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The Santa Suit (Holiday Homecoming)
by Karen Toller WhittenburgHOLIDAY HOMECOMINGThe man in the red suit...had a lot to answer for, in Kate Harmon's opinion! He'd let her down and now her twins' heads were filled-not with visions of sugarplums but kittens, dogs and a daddy!It'd be a cold midnight clear before that Christmas fancy came true, 'cause Kate didn't date-and Santa didn't exist.So why had the twins hired Gabe Housley to find him? And why did Kate hope Gabe-the man who'd kissed her and dismissed her last Christmas-was Santa's answer to the twins' wish list?
The Santiago Saga: Santiago * The Return of Santiago (The Santiago Saga)
by Mike ResnickNow in one volume: the duology featuring the folk hero who leaves a mark on the galaxy that can never be erased—from the multiple Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author.Santiago Sebastian Cain is a former revolutionary who has killed hundreds of criminals for the right price. But one has always eluded him: Santiago. Now, Cain has gotten a lead on the elusive outlaw, and it&’s too hard to resist. But unraveling the threads of Santiago&’s life might get him tangled up in something far bigger than he ever imagined . . . &“This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-duplicated stories that ensnare you in such a wondrous universe that you never, ever want to leave. It will spawn a half-dozen sequels and two dozen or more imitators that will feed on our enrapture . . . but there will be only one Santiago.&” —The Baltimore Evening SunThe Return of Santiago Petty thief Danny Briggs discovers the original manuscript of the balladeer who wandered the spaceways a hundred years ago, recording the adventures of larger-than-life heroes, villains, and misfits—including Santiago. The find inspires him to write a new epic. All he needs is his century&’s version of the infamous criminal . . .Praise for Mike Resnick &“Resnick is thought-provoking, imaginative . . . and above all galactically grand.&” —Los Angeles Times &“Nobody spins a yarn better than Mike Resnick.&” —Orson Scott Card, New York Times–bestselling author of Ender&’s Game
The Santorini Marriage
by Margaret MayoWhen fresh-faced Rhianne Pickering agrees to work for masterful Greek Zarek Diakos she knows it’s a mistake-no man has ever made her heart quicken and her body quiver like this! But with her life in tatters she needs a job. To his convenient wife! Zarek thinks Rhianne makes the perfect secretary. But on a business trip to the beautiful island of Santorini he decides her skills are undervalued. He’s in need of a bride; under the warm Mediterranean sun he’ll show Rhianne it’s a position she can’t refuse!
The Sarcasm Handbook
by Lawrence Dorfman James Michael NaccaratoFrom the author of the bestselling Snark series comes the premiere guide to satire, sneering, jeering, and mockery in their finest forms. A surviving knight of many a verbal joust, Larry Dorfman has become an expert at backhanded sass and cathartic banter.Featuring life lessons from the master himself, as well as quotes and quips by some of history’s sarcastic greats, The Sarcasm Handbook teaches readers how to deflect stupidity and express their inner dissatisfaction with a keen sensibility, hushing subtlety, and wisecrack wit. Included in these invaluable teachings are chapters on achieving the right tone, sarcastic bastards in history, as well as scenarios depicting some of the greatest moments in sarcasm.So pick up your copy today and start learning the art of disparagement through passive aggressiveness!
The Sassy Belles: A Novel (A Sassy Belles Novel #1)
by Beth AlbrightMeet the Sassy Belles. They're strong as a mint julep, sweet as peach cobbler, and no matter what, they stick together. There are only two seasons in Tuscaloosa-football and waiting-for-football. When Lewis Heart, football announcer and voice of the Crimson Tide, vanishes after an impromptu romp with Vivi Anne McFadden at the Fountain Mist Motel, Vivi does what any Southern woman would do: calls her best friend, Blake O'Hara Heart, attorney-at-law. With the town gossip swirling around them, Vivi and Blake are determined to find out what happened to Lewis and clear Vivi's reputation. Because after all, men may come and go, but the Sassy Belles are forever. Not since Steel Magnolias have we fallen in love with such sexy, strong and hilarious Southern women. So grab your best girlfriends and join these Belles on the first of many joyrides through the Deep South.... Sexy Southern fun...with a hint of magnolia!
The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #12)
by Alexander McCall SmithTHE TWELFTH BOOK IN THE BELOVED NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY SERIESThe one where Mma Makutsi gets married . . . As the countdown to Mma Makutsi's big day begins, Violet Sephotho, her former rival for the affections of Phuti Radiphuti, is up to no good as usual. And will Mma Makutsi bury her differences with pushy Mma Potokwani, who has offered to help with the wedding feast?Meanwhile Mma Ramotswe is called away on a case at a southern cattle post, and Charlie has again got himself in a bit of bother with a young lady. At least they all have the happy occasion to look forward to . . .
The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #12)
by Alexander McCall SmithAs the countdown to Mma Makutsi's wedding begins, all is not as it should be at the No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency. While investigating unpleasant occurrences on a southern cattle-post, Mma Ramotswe, always on the side of the weak against the strong, has reason to reflect on Rule No.3 of The Principles of Private Detection: never lie to the client. Apprentice mechanic Charlie seems to be avoiding certain important responsibilities. And as Mma Makutsi's big day approaches, her nemesis Violet Sephotho is casting her net wider: by standing for election which could spell trouble for the entire nation. But as friends and family gather under starry African night skies, it turns out that even the most perplexing of apparitions - and the most shocking of crimes - may yield to rational explanation. And, of course, to Mma Ramotswe's inimitable way with love, intuition and redbush tea.
The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #12)
by Alexander Mccall SmithThe twelfth installment in the beloved, bestselling series is once again a beautiful blend of wit and wisdom, and a profoundly touching tale of the human heart.Precious Ramotswe is haunted by a dream in which she is driving her dear old white van. Grace Makutsi dreams that her 97 percent on the Botswana Secretarial College exam was a mistake. When Mma Ramotswe discovers that her van is actually still in use (and, of course, sets out to retrieve it), Mma Makutsi wonders whether her dream will turn out to be prophetic as well.They can only wait and see, but, in the meantime, one of Phuti Radiphuti's apprentices has gotten a girl pregnant and, under pressure to marry her, has run away. Naturally, it is up to Precious and Grace to help the couple work things out. In other developments, Mma Ramotswe investigates a case of rural jealousy in which cattle are being poisoned. Add to the mix Violet Sephotho's newly begun, already unstoppable run for the Botswana Parliament and the possibility that wedding bells may finally ring for Phuti Radiphuti and Grace Makutsi -- whose love for each other is as great as their love for Botswana -- and we have a charming and delightful tale from the inimitable Alexander McCall Smith.From the Hardcover edition.
The Satyricon
by PetroniusThe Satyricon is one of the most outrageous and strikingly modern works to have survived from the ancient world. Most likely written by an advisor of Nero, it recounts the adventures of Encolpius and his companions as they travel around Italy, encountering courtesans, priestesses, con men, brothel-keepers, pompous professors and, above all, Trimalchio, the nouveau riche millionaire whose debauched feasting and pretentious vulgarity make him one of the great comic characters in literature. Estimated to date from 63 - 65 AD, and only surviving in fragments, The Satyricon nevertheless offers an unmatched satirical portrait of the age of Nero, in all its excesses and chaos.
The Satyricon Petronius
by William ArrowsmithThe Satyricon is a classic of comedy, a superbly funny picture of Nero's Rome as seen through the eyes of Petronius, it’s most amorous and elegant courtier. William Arrowsmith's translation—a lively, modern, unexpurgated text—recaptures all the ribald humor of Petronius's picaresque satire. It tells the hilarious story of the pleasure-seeking adventures of an educated rogue, Encolpius, his handsome serving boy, Giton, and Ascyltus, who lusts after Giton—three impure pilgrims who live by their wits and other men's purses. The Satyricon unfailingly turns every weakness of the flesh, every foible of the mind, to laughter.
The Savage Damsel and the Dwarf (The Squire's Tales #3)
by Gerald MorrisHer castle under siege by an evil knight who keeps beheading all her would-be rescuers, Lady Lynet realizes the only way to get help is to get it herself. So one night she slips away and strikes out for King Arthur's court where she hopes to find a gallant knight to vanquish the Knight of the Red Lands and free her castle. Gerald Morris's latest Arthurian novel is a highly comic tale of hidden identities, mysterious knights, faeries and enchantments, damsels-in-distress, and true love.
The Savage Girl
by Alex Shakar“A crystalline satire of a preening media elite too exhausted with pillaging the minds of consumers to notice the collapsing world around them” (Kirkus).What is the next trend—the next “killer app”? This question is very much on the mind of Ursula Van Urden, a burned-out art student who, after her supermodel sister Ivy’s widely publicized suicide attempt, has found work as a trendspotter for Tomorrow, Ltd., in the volcano-shadowed metropolis of Middle City. Armed with only a sketch pad and a mandate to “find the future,” Ursula discovers a homeless girl who hunts her own food and lives on the street. This “savage girl” becomes Ursula’s first trend and the basis for an advertising scheme that goes madly, disastrously awry.An exceptionally written novel that puts an obsession with pop culture under the microscope, The Savage Girl is a book that cannot be ignored, and Alex Shakar is a writer brimming with talent.Praise for The Savage GirlA New York Times Notable Book“An exceptionally smart and likable first novel that tries valiantly to ransom Beauty from its commercial captors.” —Jonathan Franzen“A brutally funny first novel that skewers America’s marketing mentality and fractured consciousness.” —Time Out (New York)“It’s exciting to meet a new novelist who’s not afraid of heights.” —New York Times Book Review“The most sensitive, observant, and shrewdest of writers are preternaturally attuned to the undercurrents that twist and warp society, and Shakar, a seer with extraordinary literary skills and a piquant sense of humor, will join the ranks of Goerge Orwell, Aldous Huxley, and Tom Wolfe.” —Chicago Tribune
The Savakis Merger (Tall, Dark and Dangerously Sexy #1)
by Annie WestOnly hours ago she was a wickedly tempting, sexy stranger. Now Damon Savakis knows who she really is-Callie Manolis, society ice-queen and duplicitous niece of his arch enemy.Yet when Callie's avaricious uncle loses the Manolis money, she becomes the bargaining chip in the Savakis merger! Damon is unprepared for her bravery, poise and purity in a world full of greed. Once she's paid her dues in his bed...he'll make her his willing bride for free!
The Sawbones Book: The Hilarious, Horrifying Road to Modern Medicine
by Justin McElroy Dr. Sydnee McElroyEvery week, Dr. Sydnee McElroy and her husband Justin amaze, amuse, and gross out (depending on the week) hundreds of thousands of avid listeners to their podcast, Sawbones. Consistently rated a top podcast on iTunes, with over 15 million total downloads, this rollicking journey through thousands of years of medical mishaps and miracles is not only hilarious but downright educational. While you may never even consider applying boiled weasel to your forehead (once the height of sophistication when it came to headache cures), you will almost certainly face some questionable medical advice in your everyday life (we&’re looking at you, raw water!) and be better able to figure out if this is a miracle cure (it&’s not) or a scam. Table of Contents: Part 1: The Unnerving The Resurrection Men Opium An Electrifying Experience Weight Loss Charcoal The Black Plague Pliny the Elder Erectile Dysfunction Spontaneous Combustion The Doctor Is In Trepanation Part II: The Gross Mummy Medicine Mercury The Guthole Bromance A Piece of Your Mind The Unkillable Phineas Gage Phrenology The Man Who Drank Poop Robert Liston Urine Luck! Radium Humorism The Doctor Is In The Straight Poop Part III: The Weird The Dancing Plague Curtis Howe Springer Smoke &’Em if You Got ëEm A Titanic Case of Nausea Arsenic Paracelsus Honey Self-Experimentation Homeopathy The Doctor Is In Part IV: The Awesome The Poison Squad Bloodletting Death by Chocolate John Harvey Kellogg Parrot Fever Detox Vinegar Polio Vaccine The Doctor Is In.
The Scandal Plan: Or: How to Win the Presidency by Cheating on Your Wife
by Bill FolmanA presidential candidate behind in the polls concocts an outrageous scandal to improve his chances in this hilarious political satire in the spirit of Primary ColorsSenator Ben Phillips is the perfect man for the presidency. If only he weren't such a straight arrow. He's getting battered in the polls, and with only a few months until Election Day, his staff is growing desperate. Enter Thomas Campman, political guru. On a sudden inspiration, the eccentric Campman is convinced he can revitalize the candidate's image by creating a fake sex scandal for him. Nothing too over-the-top—just a little scandal to make Phillips seem more human. Maybe even cool.Though it takes some convincing, Phillips gives Campman the green light. The plan is set in motion, and, right on schedule, a phony former mistress steps forward to accuse the senator of infidelity. But scandals—even the premeditated kind—rarely go as planned. Before long, Campman's scheme snowballs into a three-ring circus complete with a linguistically challenged Mexican chauffeur who thinks he's James Bond, a highly sexed middle-aged woman who's convinced she'll never land one of the really good guys, and a political cub reporter for TeenVibe magazine who's sure he's on the trail of the biggest story since Watergate.For those too well acquainted with politics-as-usual, The Scandal Plan is the perfect antidote. It's a witty political farce in the tradition of Jon Stewart and Dave Barry that will have readers—and even candidates—laughing all the way to the polls.
The Scandalous Adventures of the Sister of the Bride (Millworth Manor #3)
by Victoria Alexander#1 New York Times–bestselling author: &“Nobody does Victorian romance hijinks like Alexander . . . Fabulously snappy banter, and a soupçon of sex.&” —Publishers Weekly Delilah, the very proper widowed Lady Hargate, and Mr. Samuel Russell, previously acquainted during one unforgettable night in New York City when caution—and clothing—were thrown to the wind, will choose to pretend they have never met before when they wind up at the same wedding months later in England. The lady plans to avoid love and its complications at all costs. The gentleman intends to change her mind. Guests are invited to enjoy the many diversions of Millworth Manor as Delilah&’s sister and Samuel&’s friend are joined in matrimony—delightful grounds, lavish drawing rooms, secluded corners—and for Delilah and Samuel, the chance to discover that one night may have been only the beginning . . . &“Sparkling dialogue and endearing characters make this an enthralling read.&” —Sabrina Jeffries, New York Times–bestselling author &“Alexander&’s latest wickedly funny historical romance is the perfect synthesis of love and laughter.&” —Booklist
The Scandalous Sisterhood of Prickwillow Place
by Julie BerryThe students of St. Etheldreda's School for Girls face a bothersome dilemma. Their irascible headmistress, Mrs. Plackett, and her surly brother, Mr. Godding, have been most inconveniently poisoned at Sunday dinner. Now the school will almost certainly be closed and the girls sent home--unless these seven very proper young ladies can hide the murders and convince their neighbors that nothing is wrong.
The Scandalous Sisterhood of Prickwillow Place
by Julie BerryThere's a murderer on the loose—but that doesn't stop the girls of St. Etheldreda's from attempting to hide the death of their headmistress in this rollicking farce. The students of St. Etheldreda's School for Girls face a bothersome dilemma. Their irascible headmistress, Mrs. Plackett, and her surly brother, Mr. Godding, have been most inconveniently poisoned at Sunday dinner. Now the school will almost certainly be closed and the girls sent home—unless these seven very proper young ladies can hide the murders and convince their neighbors that nothing is wrong. Julie Berry's The Scandalous Sisterhood of Prickwillow Place is a smart, hilarious Victorian romp, full of outrageous plot twists, mistaken identities, and mysterious happenings.
The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc: A Novel
by Loraine DespresIt's a steamy June afternoon in Louisiana, circa 1956, and Sissy LeBlanc is sitting on her front porch, wondering -- half seriously -- if she could kill herself with aspirins and Coca-Cola. She's been living in stifling old Gentry since the day she was born and trapped in a sham of a marriage to PeeWee LeBlanc since she was only seventeen. In short, she's fed up, restless, and ready for an adventure. Sissy just never imagined temptation would come into her life that breathless summer day as she sat smoking on her porch swing. For although she may have been fixated on the taut muscles of the lineman shimmying down the telephone pole across the street, she hadn't allowed herself to imagine that he'd be none other than her high school sweetheart, Parker Davidson, who left town fourteen years before without so much as a wave good-bye. But suddenly, here he is, leaning in for a kiss that will stir up more excitement than Sissy could ever have imagined.
The Scarecrow And His Servant
by Philip PullmanA tattered scarecrow stands in the middle of a muddy field, taking no notice of the violent thunderstorm around him. But when a bolt of lightning strikes him, fizzing its way through his turnip head and down his broomstick, the Scarecrow blinks with surprise-and comes to life. So begins the story of the Scarecrow, a courteous but pea-brained fellow with grand ideas. He meets a boy, Jack, who becomes his faithful servant. Leaving behind his bird-scaring duties, the Scarecrow sets out for Spring Valley, with Jack at his side. As the valiant Scarecrow plunges them into terrifying dangers-battles, brigands, broken hearts, and treasure islands-he never realizes he's being followed by the one family who desperately wishes he'd never sprung to life. Will the Scarecrow discover the secret to his past before the crooked Buffalonis close in on him? From the Hardcover edition.
The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight (Classic Goosebumps #16)
by R. L. StineGoosebumps now on Disney+!Jodie loves visiting her grandparents' farm. Okay, so it's not the most exciting place in the world. Still, Grandpa tells great scary stories. And Grandma's chocolate chip cookies are the best.But this summer the farm has really changed. The cornfields are sparse. Grandma and Grandpa seem worn out. And the single scarecrow has been replaced by twelve evil-looking ones.Then one night Jodie sees something really odd. The scarecrows seem to be moving. Twitching on their stakes. Coming alive . . .
The Scariest Kitten in the World
by Kate MessnerThe Scariest Kitten in the World is a hilarious picture book by Kate Messner and illustrated by MacKenzie Haley in the vein of The Monster at the End of This Book about a not-so-scary kitten and a not-too-terrifying haunted house.WARNING! This is a VERY scary story. It is the most spine-chilling story anyone could ever read. It takes place in a horrifying haunted house (okay, not that terrifying) . . .with a creepy creature (well, maybe not that creepy) . . .and its frightening friends (but are they that frightening?). Seriously. You’re going to be scared right out of your underpants by these guys! There’s no way they’re the cutest little critters you’ve ever seen . . . right? Packed with humor and heart and adorable illustrations, this not-quite-scary story will keep you laughing until the very last page.
The Scenic Route
by Devan SipherTake a delightful detour with this novel by the author of The Wedding Beat and a writer of The New York Times's "Vows" column... The shortest distance between soul mates isn't always a straight line.... When Austin Gittleman first met Naomi Bloom, they were grammar school classmates and she pasted pictures of him in her Barbie Dreamhouse. Those days are long gone. Austin is a Midwestern doctor who always tries to do the right thing--even if it often turns out wrong. Naomi is a Miami pastry chef with a taste for adventure. They seem to have nothing in common. But that doesn't stop Austin from falling head over heels when they reconnect at a mutual friend's seaside wedding. Only, falling hard doesn't guarantee happily ever after, or even a second date. Tropical storms and mechanical malfunctions contribute to a series of miscommunications and missed connections that lead Austin and Naomi away from each other and back again. In The Scenic Route, life is what happens on the way to where you're going. It's unpredictable and inconvenient, but it can be pretty wonderful when you bring the right person along for the ride.
The Scenic Route (Beneath the Wild Sky #1)
by Katie RuggleWHY DATE A MOUNTAIN MAN? Because climbing him will leave you breathless.Felicity Pax loves her job. She craves excitement, and being a bounty hunter gives her that in spades. So when her estranged mother disappears with a small fortune in tow, Felicity chases her like she would any other skip. Too bad she didn't barter on having increasingly infuriating (and infuriatingly hot) PI Bennett Green on her tail.Bennett's got a job to do, and if that means shadowing Felicity…well…he's had worse assignments. Even if he's 99% sure the increasingly intriguing bounty hunter is leading him on a wild goose chase through the Rockies.If she has to drag her PI tail through endless quirky mountain towns in order to shake him, that's what she's determined to do…but it isn't long before Felicity's intended distraction turns up a mystery worth solving—and Bennett becomes the unexpected partner she never realized she needed. As things heat up, Felicity will have to decide what's most important to her: staying one step ahead of the "enemy" or giving herself freedom to experience the adventure of a lifetime.The Rocky Mountains get unBEARably hot in Katie Ruggle's brand-new series packed with adventure, action, tall dark & scruffy heroes, and a sense of quirky humor that will be your next perfect escape.Books by Katie Ruggle:Fish Out of WaterHold Your BreathRun to GroundIn Her Sights
The Scent of Buenos Aires: Stories by Hebe Uhart
by HEBE UHARTFrom one of Argentina's greatest contemporary storytellers, The Scent of Buenos Aires gathers twenty-five of Hebe Uhart's most remarkable and incandescent short stories in English for the first time.The Scent of Buenos Aires offers the first book-length English translation of Uhart's work, drawing together her best vignettes of quotidian life: moments at the zoo, the hair salon, or a cacophonous homeowners association meeting. She writes in unconventional, understated syntax, constructing a delightfully specific perspective on life in South America. These stories are marked by sharp humor and wit: discreet and subtle, yet filled with eccentric and insightful characters. Uhart's narrators pose endearing questions about their lives and environments - one asks "Bees - do you know how industrious they are?" while another inquires, "Are we perhaps going to hell in a hand basket?"