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The Tapper Twins Run for President (The Tapper Twins #3)
by Geoff RodkeyIn their third uproarious oral history, the Tapper Twins take their sibling feud to the political stage as they race to become class president! Told as a series of interviews, screenshots, text messages, and social media bursts, The Tapper Twins Run For President tops the antics of the real 2016 elections! Claudia Tapper wants to become President of the United States someday. She's the sixth grade class president, and has every reason to presume she'll get reelected. Reese Tapper could not care less about student government--until he learns becoming class president is his best shot at overturning a hated new rule. And thus, the greatest political rivalry in Culvert Prep history is born! In a tangle of evil-genius advisors, meddlesome best-friends, negative campaign attacks and outrageously funny missteps, Claudia and Reese duke it out to see who will rule the school.
The Tapper Twins Run for President: Book 3 (The Tapper Twins #3)
by Geoff RodkeyTwo kids. One spot for class president. It's election time. The third hilarious Tapper Twins tale from author and scriptwriter, Geoff Rodkey.This is the official account of Claudia and Reese Tapper's battle to be elected president of Culvert Prep Middle School's sixth grade class. Or, more specifically, how Reese made some very powerful enemies and Claudia ended up hiding from an angry mob in the girls' toilets.Nobody said politics was pretty.What really happened when the votes were counted? It depends on who you speak to . . .An up-to-the-minute middle-grade comedy with integrated illustrations, perfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York (The Tapper Twins #2)
by Geoff RodkeyThe Tapper twins' scavenger hunt takes cutthroat competition to hilarious new heights! In the follow up to The Tapper Twins Go to War, Geoff Rodkey delivers another ultra-modern comedy told as oral history with texts, screenshots and smartphone photos. When Claudia initiates a citywide scavenger hunt to raise money for charity, it's not just the twins' opposing teams that run riot. With the whole school racing to trade in sights seen for points to score front row tickets at Madison Square Garden, they may not get to the finish line with their dignity-and social lives-intact!
The Taste of Different Dimensions: 15 Fantasy Tales from a Master Storyteller
by Alan Dean FosterThe dead. The undead. Those who wish they were dead. They&’re all here, along with a legend from a Pacific island, a legend from beneath a Pacific island, and much, much more. Frogs and dogs, knaves and slaves, and maybe a smidgen of real but impertinent food. Extend your imagination and have a nibble. You&’ll come back for more.Includes the never before published story &“Fetched.&”
The Tatami Time Machine Blues: A Novel
by Tomihiko MorimiIn the boiling heat of summer, a broken remote control for an air conditioner threatens life as we know it in this reality-bending, time-slipping sequel to The Tatami Galaxy. During a scorching August in Kyoto, our protagonist and his worst friend, Ozu, are locked in a glaring contest in a four-and-a-half-tatami-mat room. Ozu has spilled Coke on the air conditioner’s remote control—the only AC in Shimogamo Yusuisuiso, their famously shabby sweatbox of an apartment building. Vengeful and despairing, our protagonist discusses countermeasures with his secret crush, the reliably blunt Akashi, when Tamura, a strange young man with a bad haircut, appears.Tamura claims to be a time traveler from 25 years in the future, and shows off the time machine he uses to travel. Our protagonist has a brilliant idea: the sweetest revenge would be to go back one day in time and retrieve the functioning remote control. His simple fix is complicated by Ozu and several others who are also eager to take a ride back in time. But in attempting to alter the past, our protagonist foresees the world's extinction. Even more troublingly, Akashi mentions she’s bringing someone to the upcoming bonfire . . . and it's not him. Only one thing remains certain: it's going to be a very long month.Obliteration? Salvation? Coca-Cola? Castella cake? What does the time machine hold for our (not quite) heroes? It all depends on which one gets there first.Translated from the Japanese by Emily Balistrieri
The Tea Ladies of St Jude's Hospital
by Joanna NellThe heartwarming and hilarious new novel by the author of cherished bestsellers, The Single Ladies of Jacaranda Retirement Village and The Great Escape from Woodlands Nursing HomeThe Marjorie Marshall Memorial Cafeteria has been serving refreshments and raising money at the hospital for over fifty years, long after anybody can remember who Marjorie Marshall actually was. Staffed by successive generations of dedicated volunteers, the beloved cafeteria is known as much for offering a kind word and sympathetic ear (and often unsolicited life advice) as for its tea and buns.Stalwart Hilary has worked her way up through the ranks to Manageress; Joy has been late every day since she started as the cafeteria's newest recruit. She doesn't take her role as 'the intern' quite as seriously as Hilary would like but there's no doubt she brings a welcome pop of personality. Seventeen-year-old Chloe, the daughter of two successful surgeons, is volunteering during the school holidays because her mother thinks it will look good on her CV. Chloe is at first bewildered by the two older women but soon realises they have a lot in common, not least that each bears a secret pain. When they discover the cafeteria is under threat of closure, this unlikely trio must band together to save it.'The Tea Ladies is a delight. Warm characters and observations and great pace' AMANDA HAMPSONPraise for the novels of Joanna Nell:'Tender and funny'Woman's Weekly'Whip-smart dialogue, humour and sarcasm ... highly addictive' Sun Herald'Lively and whimsical' Sydney Morning Herald
The Tea Ladies of St Jude's Hospital
by Joanna NellThe heartwarming and hilarious bestseller by the author of treasured novels, The Single Ladies of Jacaranda Retirement Village and The Great Escape from Woodlands Nursing HomeThe Marjorie Marshall Memorial Cafeteria has been serving refreshments and raising money at the hospital for over fifty years, long after anybody can remember who Marjorie Marshall actually was. Staffed by successive generations of dedicated volunteers, the beloved cafeteria is known as much for offering a kind word and sympathetic ear (and often unsolicited life advice) as for its tea and buns.Stalwart Hilary has worked her way up through the ranks to Manageress; Joy has been late every day since she started as the cafeteria's newest recruit. She doesn't take her role as 'the intern' quite as seriously as Hilary would like but there's no doubt she brings a welcome pop of personality. Seventeen-year-old Chloe, the daughter of two successful surgeons, is volunteering during the school holidays because her mother thinks it will look good on her CV. Chloe is at first bewildered by the two older women but soon realises they have a lot in common, not least that each bears a secret pain. When they discover the cafeteria is under threat of closure, this unlikely trio must band together to save it.'Takes readers on a sweet journey. A warm-hearted read from Nell, who tells engaging stories with older protagonists' The Australian'The Tea Ladies is a delight. Warm characters and observations and great pace' AMANDA HAMPSON'Another funny, warm-hearted read' Herald Sun**Contains BONUS EXTRACT from Joanna Nell's novel Mrs Winterbottom Takes a Gap Year**Praise for the novels of Joanna Nell:'Tender and funny' Woman's Weekly'Whip-smart dialogue, humour and sarcasm ... highly addictive' Sun Herald'Lively and whimsical' Sydney Morning Herald
The Tea Ladies of St Jude's Hospital: A completely uplifting and hilarious novel of friendship and community spirit to warm your heart
by Joanna Nell'Heartwarming and full of loveliness. A great read' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I loved it!... One to tug at the heart strings, could not put it down. Wonderful' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Delightful! Absolutely delightful!... A story about friendship, family, new beginnings, and love, this book left me with such a warm, fuzzy feeling, and was a joy to read' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Three unlikely friends. One chance to save the community. It might just be the perfect blend.... The Marjorie Marshall Memorial Cafeteria is at the heart of St Jude's Hospital. Staffed by successive generations of dedicated volunteers, for over fifty years the beloved cafeteria has been serving up a kind word and sympathetic ear along with tea and scones. Hilary, the stalwart Manageress, has worked her way up through the ranks; Joy, the latest recruit, is driving Hilary mad by arriving late every day; and seventeen-year-old Chloe, the daughter of two successful surgeons, is volunteering in the holidays and bemused by the older women. But when they discover the cafeteria is under threat of closure, the unlikely trio must put aside their differences. As they realise the secrets and sorrows they have in common, the women grow closer - but can they bring the community together and save the day? Full of wisdom and warmth, this is a gorgeously poignant, hilarious story about unlikely friendships, growing old disgracefully, and coming together to save the things we love. Fans of Judy Leigh, Jill Mansell and Sally Page will be hooked from the very first page. Readers love The Tea Ladies of St Jude's Hospital: 'Heartwarming, witty, touching and just all-round lovely to read, I thoroughly recommend this, and all other Joanna Nell books for anyone who loves a cosy, people-centred story about strength, hope, and found family' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'A mix of quirky characters volunteer at the old cafeteria at St Jude's Hospital... Great characters, nice depth, and some great twists and turns, leaves you full and satisfied at the end. I just want one of Joy's scones to make it complete!' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Uplifting book full of heart... An easy and fabulous read and one I got through in no time, how I loved them all and enjoyed their adventure immensely' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'This was a lovely heart-warming story. At times really funny but with moments that have you reaching for the tissues this was a lovely cosy read' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Praise for Joanna Nell: 'Hugely entertaining . . . funny and heart-warming' Woman & Home 'Warm-hearted book that had me rooting for all the characters and laughing out loud' Libby Page, author of The Lido'Poignant and warm-hearted . . . a tonic for our times' Holly Miller, author of The Sight of You 'A warm and touching story with a cast of characters who became my friends' Katie Marsh, author of How Not to Murder Your Ex 'A funny and poignant exploration of growing old disgracefully' Culturefly
The Tea Ladies of St Jude's Hospital: The uplifting and poignant story you need in 2022
by Joanna NellThe heartwarming and hilarious new novel from the bestselling author of THE SINGLE LADIES OF JACARANDA RETIREMENT VILLAGE.Three unlikely friends. A lot of scones. And one chance to save the community...The Marjorie Marshall Memorial Cafeteria is at the heart of St Jude's Hospital. Staffed by successive generations of dedicated volunteers, for over fifty years the beloved cafeteria has been serving up a kind word and sympathetic ear along with tea and scones. Hilary, the stalwart Manageress, has worked her way up through the ranks; Jo, the latest recruit, is driving Hilary mad by arriving late every day; and seventeen-year-old Chloe, the daughter of two successful surgeons, is volunteering in the holidays and bemused by the older women. But when they discover the cafeteria is under threat of closure, the unlikely trio must put aside their differences. As they realise the secrets and sorrows they have in common, the women grow closer - but can they bring the community together and save the day? Full of wisdom and warmth, The Tea Ladies of St Jude's Hospital is a gorgeously poignant, hilarious story about unlikely friendships, growing old disgracefully, and coming together to save the things we love...(P) 2022 Hachette Australia
The Tea Party Guide to Being a Real American
by Roland BoyleThis book is on your side. It's not like all the others. Other books are out to get you. You know the ones: Novels that crush your spirit. Celebrity bios that make your life look boring. Sexy books with filthy sex in them. This book, like America, has the answers. Good thing, too, because we are now faced with the most important question ever in the history of mankind. How can we tell who the real Americans are? Now, you may be thinking, "If you have to ask, you're not one, son." And that's a good start. But what we need is a simple answer. Complicated answers are for liars. The truth is as dumb as a box of hammers.
The Teacher from the Black Lagoon
by Mike ThalerThis funny story from the "Black Lagoon" series talks about a little boy's fear on his first day to school.
The Teacher from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures)
by Mike ThalerIt's another scary day at the Black Lagoon. . . .Two popular books from the bestselling Black Lagoon series--TEACHER and LIBRARIAN--are now reissued with fun new covers! Join Hubie once again as he faces his comically horrific fears during his first day of school and his first trip to the school library. Featuring a fire-breathing teacher and a library where all the books are bolted to the shelves, these stories are sure to amuse and quell fears of new experiences at the same time!
The Teacher's Funeral
by Richard Peck<P>"If your teacher has to die, August isn't a bad time of year for it," begins Richard Peck's latest novel, a book full of his signature wit and sass. <P>Russell Culver is fifteen in 1904, and he's raring to leave his tiny Indiana farm town for the endless sky of the Dakotas. To him, school has been nothing but a chain holding him back from his dreams. Maybe now that his teacher has passed on, they'll shut the school down entirely and leave him free to roam. <P> <P>No such luck. Russell has a particularly eventful season of schooling ahead of him, led by a teacher he never could have predicted--perhaps the only teacher equipped to control the likes of him: his sister Tansy. <P>Despite stolen supplies, a privy fire, and more than any classroom's share of snakes, Tansy will manage to keep that school alive and maybe, just maybe, set her brother on a new, wiser course. <P>As he did in A Long Way from Chicago and A Year Down Yonder, Richard Peck creates a whole world of folksy, one-of-a-kind characters here--the enviable and the laughable, the adorably meek and the deliciously terrifying. <P>There will be no forgetting Russell, Tansy, and all the rest who populate this hilarious, shrewd, and thoroughly enchanting novel.
The Teacher's Pet
by Anica Mrose RissiThis hilarious tale by debut picturebook author Anica Mrose Rissi, brilliantly illustrated by Zachariah OHora, will keep kids giggling page after page as the class comes together to solve one BIG problem. When their class tadpoles are big enough, Mr. Stricter tells his students they can keep just one. The class chooses Bruno, the smallest of the bunch. But Bruno doesn't stay that way for long. Soon, he's grown into a giant, classroom-wrecking creature: he eats desks, he farts for show-and-tell, and he sneezes slime all over everything! With Mr. Stricter blinded by love for the pet, the students must step up and take matters into their own heroic hands.
The Teachers from the Black Lagoon, and Other Stories (Scholastic Reader, Level 3)
by Mike ThalerHubie and his classmates are back in this Teacher from the Black Lagoon reader collection!At Hubie's school the teachers are real monsters.Yikes! Will he survive the first day?These four bestselling books are together in one low-priced reader collection! The Teacher from the Black LagoonThe Principal from the Black LagoonThe Gym Teacher from the Black LagoonThe Librarian from the Black Lagoon
The Teachings of Don B.: Satires, Parodies, Fables, Illustrated Stories, and Plays
by Donald BarthelmeBarthelme . . . happens to be one of a handful of American authors, there to make us look bad, who know instinctively how to stash the merchandise, bamboozle the inspectors, and smuggle their nocturnal contraband right on past the checkpoints of daylight 'reality.' Thomas Pynchon, from the Introduction A hypothetical episode of Batman hilariously slowed down to soap-opera speed. A game of baseball as played by T. S. Eliot and Willem Big Bull de Kooning. A recipe for feeding sixty pork-sotted celebrants at your daughter's wedding. An outlandishly illustrated account of a scientific quest for God. These astonishing tropes of the imagination could only have been generated by Donald Barthelme, who until his death in 1989 seemed intent on goosing American letters into taking a quantum leap. Gleeful, melancholy, erudite, and wonderfully subversive, The Teachings of Don B. is a literary testament cum time bomb, with the power to blast any reader into an altered state of consciousness. A small education in laughter, melancholy, and the English language.
The Teashop on the Corner: Life is full of second chances, if only you keep your heart open for them.
by Milly JohnsonThe magical and feel-good novel from the Sunday Times bestseller&‘The feeling you get when you read a Milly Johnson book should be bottled and made available on the NHS&’ Debbie JohnsonLife is full of second chances, if only you keep your heart open for them. Spring Hill Square is a pretty sanctuary away from the bustle of everyday life. And at its centre is Leni Merryman's Teashop on the Corner, specialising in cake, bookish stationery and compassion. And for three people, all in need of a little TLC, it is somewhere to find a friend to lean on.Carla Pride has just discovered that her late husband Martin was not who she thought he was. And now she must learn to put her marriage behind her and move forward.Molly Jones's ex-husband Harvey has reappeared in her life after many years, wanting to put right the wrongs of the past before it is too late. And Will Linton's business has gone bust and his wife has left him to pick up the pieces. Now he needs to gather the strength to start again. Can all three find the comfort they are looking for in The Teashop on the Corner? And as their hearts are slowly mended by Leni, can they return the favour when she needs it most?Praise for Milly Johnson: 'Every time you discover a new Milly book, it&’s like finding a pot of gold' heat 'A glorious, heartfelt novel' Rowan Coleman &‘Absolutely loved it. Milly's writing is like getting a big hug with just the right amount of bite underneath. I was rooting for Bonnie from the start' Jane Fallon &‘Bursting with warmth and joie de vivre&’ Jill Mansell &‘Warm, optimistic and romantic&’ Katie Fforde
The Technicolor Time Machine
by Harry HarrisonWhy pay for costumes, scenery, props or actors when the most brilliant drama of all time is unfolding before your very eyes, in vivid color--in 1000 A.D.? The head of ailing Climactic Studios has given producer Barney Hendrickson five days to get a major movie in the can--and Climactic out of it. Impossible?Not with Professor Hewett's miraculous time machine, the answer to a Hollywood producer's prayer.Skipping back to AD 1,000 with a whole film crew and two glam stars, Barney sets out to prove that the Vikings discovered America five hundred years before Columbus--and to film the event in glorious technocolor. But it's not as easy as it sounds, as they realize when history lets them down and their Viking Columbus fails to show up in the New World...Join the film crew of the stupendous motion picture saga Viking Columbus as they journey back in time to capture history in the making, in Harry Harrison's hilarious time travel romp, The Technicolor Time Machine.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The Technicolor Time Machine (Gateway Essentials #87)
by Harry HarrisonL M Greenspan, the head of ailing Climactic Studios, gave producer, Barney Hendrickson, five days to get a major movie in the can - and Climactic out of it.Impossible?Not with Professor Hewett's miraculous presto chango time machine, the answer to Hollywood producer's prayer.Nipping back to AD 1,000 with a whole film crew and two glam stars, Barney sets out to prove that the Vikings discovered America five hundred years before Columbus - and to film the event in glorious Technicolour. But it's not as easy as it sounds, as they realise when history lets them down and their Viking Columbus fails to show up in the New World.
The Teddy Dialogues (The Canine Chronicles #1)
by Nancy M BellDo you ever look at your dog and wonder what he’s thinking? Well, wonder no more. The Teddy Dialogues takes the reader on a whirlwind tour of what goes in a dog’s mind and how they perceive the odd way their humans behave. Teddy’s dry wit and irascible personality make this a quirky and fun read. You’ll never look at your dog the same after you read The Teddy Dialogues. Prepare to be entertained.
The Teen Owner's Manual
by Sarah Jordan Scotty Reifsnyder Paul Kepple Janice HillmanAt Last! A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding Teens Hormones. Rebellion. Moodiness. Peer pressure. No parent can be fully prepared for all the challenges associated with adolescence. Fortunately, The Teen Owner's Manual is here to answer your most pressing questions: How can I teach my teenager to make smart decisions? How do I keep her safe on the Web? How do I get him to communicate? How and when should I talk to her about sex? Whatever your concerns, you'll find the answers right here--courtesy of parenting author Sarah Jordan and adolescent medicine specialist Dr. Janice Hillman.
The Teenage Years: Book 1 (Dark Lord #1)
by Jamie ThomsonWinner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.
The Teenage Years: Book 1 (Dark Lord Ser. #1)
by Jamie ThomsonWinner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.
The Teenager Who Came to Tea
by Emlyn Rees Josie LloydBut the teenager didn't take just one Pringle. He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL!The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too.When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager.A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.
The Teeny-Weeny Unicorn
by Shawn HarrisMeet this pint-sized unicorn in this funny, modern fairy tale about perception and self-confidence from a Caldecott-Honor winning creator.Once upon a time, in a land where horses were mythical beasts, there lived a unicorn—a Teeny-Weeny Unicorn. He lived with his family in a palace—one that was extra-large for him, full of extra-large rugs and extra-large food. And when his brother and sister played chess, they used him in place of a pawn.When it&’s just too much to take, Teeny-Weeny Unicorn runs away—and has a chance encounter with a salty gnome. It's then that he suddenly starts to wonder... IS he teeny weeny? Or is he just the right size? Every kid will relate to Teeny-Weeny Unicorn, as he figures out how to live in a world not made for his stature. With wit and charm, as well as delightful illustrations, Shawn Harris creates a modern classic made for sharing—be it at bedtime or on a story time rug.