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The Three Ninja Pigs
by Corey Rosen SchwartzPractice makes perfect in this kick-butt fractured fairy tale. Why does this wolf think he can come to town and blow all the houses down? These three little pigs just aren't going to take it from that bully anymore! The first starts aikido lessons---he'll make mincemeat out of that wolf! His brother learns a little jujitsu--he'll chop that guy to pieces! But when the wolf actually appears, it turs out these two pigs aren't quite ready after all. Good thing their sister has been training every day to master some serious karate moves that save the day. KIYA! Corey Rosen Schwartz serves up a fun combination of smart-aleck dialogue and tongue-in-cheek rhymes that'll have kids howling, and rising star Dan Santat's spunky illustrations are sure to pack a punch!
The Three Pigs
by David WiesnerWinner of the 2002 Caldecott Medal This picture book begins placidly (and familiarly) enough, with three pigs collecting materials and going off to build houses of straw, sticks, and bricks. But the wolf&’s huffing and puffing blows the first pig right out of the story . . . and into the realm of pure imagination. The transition signals the start of a freewheeling adventure with characteristic David Wiesner effects—cinematic flow, astonishing shifts of perspective, and sly humor, as well as episodes of flight. Satisfying both as a story and as an exploration of the nature of story, The Three Pigs takes visual narrative to a new level. Dialogue balloons, text excerpts, and a wide variety of illustration styles guide the reader through a dazzling fantasy universe to the surprising and happy ending. Fans of Tuesday&’s frogs and Sector 7&’s clouds will be captivated by old friends—the Three Pigs of nursery fame and their companions—in a new guise.
The Three Silly Girls Grubb
by John HassettSkippity-skip-skip. One after the other, three silly sisters skip over a bridge on their way to school. But before she can cross to safety, each sister must face Ugly-Boy Bobby, a bully who hides in a hole beneath the bridge. Ugly-Boy Bobby was "the kind of boy who ate bugs, tossed stones at cats, and drank from puddles-the muddier the better. ” But even a boy like Bobby hungers for something other than bugs and mud puddles from time to time. What he craves the most are jelly donuts, the very ones each sister carries in her lunch! Just when it seems that Ugly-Boy Bobby will stop at nothing to get those donuts, the biggest sister turns the tables on him with just one simple, little request . . . Zany illustrations, full of fun details to discover, enliven this humorous take on the classic children’s story, "The Three Billy Goats Gruff. ”
The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting
by Christie Mellor“Lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment.” —Publishers WeeklyParents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heard but things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor’s hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today’s parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really need—and enjoy.Includes chapters on:Screaming: Is It Necessary?Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early?Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World!“Children’s Music”: Why?. . . and much, much more“Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times
The Thrifty Guide to Ancient Greece: A Handbook for Time Travelers (The Thrifty Guides #3)
by Jonathan W. StokesThe only guidebook you need for your next time travel vacation!The Thrifty Guide to the Ancient Greece: A Handbook for Time Travelers is a snappy, informative travel guide containing information vital to the sensible time traveler: * How can I find a decent tunic that won't break my bank account? * Where can I score cheap theater tickets in ancient Athens? * What do I do if I'm being attacked by an army of one million Persians?This two-color book is filled with humorous maps, reviews of places to stay and top attractions (Don't miss the first-ever Olympics!), and tips on who to have lunch with (Alexander the Great and his horse, Bucephalus, naturally). If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook you would need.
The Thrifty Guide to Ancient Rome: A Handbook for Time Travelers (The Thrifty Guides #1)
by Jonathan W. StokesFrom the publishing house that brought you the Who Was? books comes the next big series to make history approachable, engaging, and funny!The Thrifty Guide to Ancient Rome contains information vital to the sensible time traveler: • Where can I find a decent hotel room in ancient Rome for under five sesterces a day? Is horse parking included? • What do I do if I’m attacked by barbarians? • What are my legal options if I’m fed to the lions at the Colosseum? All this is answered and more. There is handy advice on finding the best picnicking spots to watch Julius Caesar’s assassination at the Roman Forum in 44 BC, as well as helpful real estate tips to profit from the great Roman fire of AD 64. There are even useful recommendations on which famous historical figures to meet for lunch, and a few nifty pointers on how to avoid being poisoned, beheaded, or torn apart by an angry mob. If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook you would need!
The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers (The Thrifty Guides)
by Jonathan W. StokesThe kid-friendly series that makes history approachable, engaging, and funny! From the publishing house that brought you the Who Was? books.The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers is a snappy, informative, illustrated travel guide with everything the sensible time traveler needs to know, like: * Where I can find the best hovel? * What are my healthcare options if I catch the Black Plague? * How can I avoid being attacked by pillaging Huns? * And most importantly, why on earth would anyone want to travel back to medieval times?This book is designed as a parody of Fodor's guides, complete with humorous maps, reviews of places to stay and top attractions (don't miss a jousting tournament . . . but watch out for lances!), and tips on whom to have lunch with (murderous Queen Olga of Kiev, naturally--just don't eat or drink anything around her!). If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook series you would need.
The Thrifty Guide to the American Revolution: A Handbook for Time Travelers (The Thrifty Guides #2)
by Jonathan W. StokesFrom the publishing house that brought you the Who Was? books comes the next big series to make history approachable, engaging, and funny!The Thrifty Guide to the American Revolution provides useful information for the practical time traveler, like: • Where can I find a decent hotel room in colonial New England? Are major credit cards accepted? • How do I join the Boston Tea Party without winding up in a British prison? • How can I score a lunch with Alexander Hamilton? This guide answers these fiery, burning questions with the marshmallows of information. There is handy advice on how to join Paul Revere’s spy ring at the Green Dragon Tavern, how to enlist in General Washington’s rebel army, and how to summon the strength to storm a British gun battery when you haven’t eaten for three days. If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook you would need!
The Throwback Special: A Novel
by Chris BachelderFinalist for the National Book Award in Fiction Winner of The Paris Review's Terry Southern Prize for Humor "Chris Bachelder is a witty, compassionate troublemaker, and we need more like him." —George SaundersHere is the absorbing story of twenty-two men who gather every fall to painstakingly reenact what ESPN called “the most shocking play in NFL history” and the Washington Redskins dubbed the “Throwback Special”: the November 1985 play in which the Redskins’ Joe Theismann had his leg horribly broken by Lawrence Taylor of the New York Giants live on Monday Night Football.With wit and great empathy, Chris Bachelder introduces us to Charles, a psychologist whose expertise is in high demand; George, a garrulous public librarian; Fat Michael, envied and despised by the others for being exquisitely fit; Jeff, a recently divorced man who has become a theorist of marriage; and many more. Over the course of a weekend, the men reveal their secret hopes, fears, and passions as they choose roles, spend a long night of the soul preparing for the play, and finally enact their bizarre ritual for what may be the last time. Along the way, mishaps, misunderstandings, and grievances pile up, and the comforting traditions holding the group together threaten to give way.The Throwback Special is a moving and comic tale filled with pitch-perfect observations about manhood, marriage, middle age, and the rituals we all enact as part of being alive.
The Thumb Series Bundle
by Ken RobertsThe Thumb in a BoxLeon and his friend Susan live in New Auckland, a small isolated fishing village on the coast of British Columbia. One day, the village receives an unexpected gift from the Government of Canada -- a fire truck. But New Auckland is surrounded by mountains and hugs a tiny beach. There are no roads, no cars, no fire hydrants.Thumb on a DiamondThumb and Susan come up with an ingenious plan that will take all of the village's nine school-aged kids on the trip of a lifetime. They'll form a baseball team, win the regional title and qualify to be sent to the provincial championships in Vancouver, courtesy of the school board.Thumb and the Bad GuysThumb and his best friend, Susan, love movie nights, when the entire community of New Auckland gathers in the school gym to eat popcorn and watch videos. Mostly they are movies about bad guys being tracked down by cool detectives. It's the villains, Thumb realizes, that make life interesting. If only he could track down a bad guy.
The Thumb in the Box
by Ken RobertsLeon and his friend Susan live in New Auckland, a small isolated fishing village on the coast of British Columbia. One day, the village receives an unexpected gift from the Government of Canada -- a fire truck. But New Auckland is surrounded by mountains and hugs a tiny beach. There are no roads, no cars, no fire hydrants. What will the village do with its new truck? The man who comes to build the fire station brings with him a practical joke that scares the wits out of Leon and Susan -- a real live wiggling thumb, completely detached from its owner. Which will leave the biggest mark on the village -- the first vehicle most villagers have ever seen, or a simple joke?
The Thunder and Lightning Series (The Thunder and Lightning Series)
by John VarleyRed Thunder, Red Lightning, and Rolling Thunder—&“action-packed, science-packed homages to Heinlein&’s best work&”—now in one volume (Cory Doctorow, Boing Boing). Enjoy all three novels in Hugo and Nebula Award–winning author John Varley&’s Mars saga! Red Thunder As Chinese and US spacecraft compete to be the first to land on Mars, a former astronaut, his cousin, and four teens from Florida have a chance to beat them both—thanks to an inventive new power source that can propel them to the Red Planet within three days. No guts, no glory . . . Red Lightning Son of one of the first men on Mars, Ray Garcia-Strickland is over the Red Planet and its gravity-dependent tourists. And when an unknown object hits Earth and causes a massive tsunami, he&’ll get his own chance at interplanetary adventure . . . Rolling Thunder Stationed on one of Jupiter&’s moons, Podkayne, a Martian navy lieutenant and daughter of Ray Garcia-Strickland, is finally realizing her dream of being a singer when disaster strikes. Put into a state of suspended animation, she awakens ten years later to face her—and humanity&’s—greatest challenge . . . Praise for the Thunder and Lightning Series &“Superior science fiction.&” —The Philadelphia Inquirer &“Fast paced . . . engaging characters.&” —Rocky Mountain News &“Much more than a simple adventure story, full of poignant moments and relevant social commentary.&” —Kirkus Reviews, starred review &“The heart-pounding space race is on . . . in this riveting SF thriller . . . with hilarious, well-drawn characters, extraordinary situations presented plausibly, plus exciting action and adventure.&” —Publishers Weekly
The Thurber Carnival
by James Thurber“An authentic American genius . . . Mr. Thurber belongs in the great lines of American humorists that includes Mark Twain and Ring Lardner.” —The Philadelphia InquirerJames Thurber’s unique ability to convey the vagaries of life in a funny, witty, and often satirical way earned him accolades as one of the finest humorists of the twentieth century. A bestseller upon its initial publication in 1945, The Thurber Carnival captures the depth of his talent and the breadth of his wit. The stories compiled here, almost all of which first appeared in The New Yorker, are from his uproarious and candid collection My World and Welcome to It—including the American classic “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’—as well as from The Owl in the Attic, The Seal in the Bathroom, and Men, Women and Dogs. Thurber’s take on life, society, and human nature is timeless and will continue to delight readers even as they recognize a bit of themselves in his brilliant sketches.“One of the absolutely essential books of our time.” —Saturday Review of Literature
The Thursday Night Men
by Tonino BenacquistaThree friends meet weekly to commiserate over romantic disasters in &“a marvelous novel—light, funny and genuine, while still being quite emotional&” (Kirkus Reviews). Every Thursday night at seven o&’clock, three men meet in Paris. Each man&’s life, story, and situation is as different from the others&’ as can be. What unites them is heartache. Trouble, that is, with women. The meetings are held in a spirit of openness and tolerance. In an almost religious silence each man confesses while the others listen. Philippe is a philosopher of repute. Since the woman he considered to be his perfect mate left him, he&’s been dating one of the world&’s most famous models in an effort to forget. Denis has been working as a waiter for years. Women have lost interest in him entirely and he is in a deep funk because of it. But one day a mysterious woman with a suitcase appears on his doorstep and moves into his living room without explanation, throwing his life into turmoil. Yves is a husband who, after having discovered his wife&’s betrayal, refuses to honor any and all forms of faithfulness. He is spending a lifetime&’s worth of savings in search of pleasure. In The Thursday Night Men, Tonino Benacquista gives readers a variety of unexpected and amusing perspectives on romance, the relationship between the sexes, and male friendships.
The Tiara on the Terrace
by Kristen KittscherIn this funny, clever novel, perfect for fans of Pseudonymous Bosch and Gordon Korman and a companion to The Wig in the Window, tween sleuths Sophie Young and Grace Yang go undercover at Luna Vista's Winter Sun Festival to catch a murderer before he--or she--strikes again.Sophie Young and Grace Yang have been taking it easy ever since they solved the biggest crime Luna Vista had ever seen. But things might get interesting again now that everyone is gearing up for the 125th annual Winter Sun Festival--a town tradition that involves floats, a parade, and a Royal Court made up of local high school girls.When Festival president Jim Steptoe turns up dead on the first day of parade preparations, the police blame a malfunctioning giant s'more feature on the campfire-themed float. But the two sleuths are convinced the mysterious death wasn't an accident.Young and Yang must trade their high tops for high heels and infiltrate the Royal Court to solve the case. But if they fail, they might just be the next victims.
The Tickle Book (Little Golden Book)
by Heidi KilgrasThis Little Golden Book about tots and tickles makes a perfect gift for all ages!Whether it&’s a tummy tickle from Mom, an armpit tickle from Dad, or a whisker tickle from a pet, gigglers of all ages will be endlessly entertained and eager to spend quality tickle time with this book.
The Ties That Bind (Billionaires and Babies)
by Emilie RoseHe never intended to be a father. Yet an ex's underhanded actions result in a baby even jaded Pierce Hollister cannot deny. He needs a nanny immediately. But Anna Aronson, the perfect woman for the job, has her own infant to care for. Now Mr. Solitary is living in a home filled with babies!The domestic situation completely rocks Pierce's carefully constructed world, and his attempts to keep his distance are soon compromised by the desirable Anna. But when a past complication threatens everything...will the billionaire daddy fight for what's become his?
The Tighty Whitey Spider
by Kenn NesbittIt's Official: Kids want more of Kenn Nesbitt's sidesplitting poetry. They can't get enough of his clever wordplay, wonderful imagery, and zany rhymes. In this brand-new collection, Kenn has totally made up over fifty poems involving Acrobatic Cats, Kung Fu Pets, and Chickens on Computers.
The Tim Vine Bumper Book of Silliness: Daft Jokes, Crazy Pictures, Utter Nonsense
by Tim VineComedian and TV star Tim Vine delivers a jam-packed, laugh-a-minute assortment of hilarious silliness.Welcome to THE TIM VINE BUMPER BOOK OF SILLINESS. Put your 3D glasses on now. And then remove them because they won't make any difference. This is a bit like an annual. Annual love it. It's filled with silly jokes, daft quizzes, zany pictures and other silly stuff too. We live in a very serious world but now and again it's good to forget about that and say things like 'lozenge waffle' or 'giraffe sprocket'. Ideally to a stranger.
The Time Has Come: A Novel
by Will LeitchThe author of the Edgar nominated and ALEX Award-winning How Lucky (“an absorbing thriller with heart”—People), blends suspense, humor, and compassion in a new novel about seven strangers and one very intense evening at a small-town Georgia pharmacy.Lindbergh’s Pharmacy is an Athens, Georgia, institution—the type of beloved mom and pop shop that once dotted every American town but has mostly disappeared. But Lindbergh’s has recently become the object of attention of a local fourth grade teacher Tina Lamm (“Ms. Lamm to my students”). Tina is certain something very, very bad is happening behind its famous black door and she intends to do something about it.Her suspicions—and the drastic actions she plans—are the unlikely glue that will connect her to a group of six employees and customers inside the pharmacy one hot Georgia evening. They include Theo, the Lindbergh’s scion with a secret of his own; Daphne, a nurse and Army veteran struggling with her faith; Jason, a local contractor uncertain how to deal with his gifted teenage son; Karson, a young lawyer and activist wrestling with a job offer that makes him uncomfortable; David, an Athens music scene lifer whose sobriety has been sorely tested by isolation; and Dorothy, a widow just beginning to regain her bearings.The fates of these individuals—and their fateful encounter with Tina Lamm—become intertwined in a story that is by turns funny, touching, and tense. As he did in How Lucky, Will Leitch illuminates how we live today through a story of human beings struggling to do their best.
The Time Machine Did It
by John SwartzwelderHumor/mystery novel by the writer of 59 episodes of The Simpsons.
The Time Trip
by Rob SwigartIn this boisterous time trip of discovery, Rob Swigart trains his inventive wit on love and loss, guilt and redemption, gurus, high technology, multiple orgasms and cryogenics. His fans will revel in his satire and laugh uproariously through his new novel--his most inventive yet.After his bored and ignored wife, Penny Gamesh, ends it all by sticking her head inside a microwave oven and checking into the afterlife, Barney, discovers he loves her and wants her back. He engineers a daring computer crime, plugging into a network of government computers, and travels back in time to Mesopotamia, 2542 BC, to talk to King Gilgamesh, who tried to unlock the secrets of immortality. There, Barney falls in love with Penny's former incarnation, a temple prostitute. While there, he explores his capacity for love and friendship, and challenges the mystery of death. The results surprise everyone.
The Time of Her Life: romantic comedy to make you laugh out loud
by Kate Fenton'Wonderfully funny and chaotic, Annie Stoneycroft is the heroine we all want to be friends with. She is the best fun with a heart of gold' - Katie Fforde'Carpe diem, as all our generation seem to be saying these days,' Annie Stoneycroft instructs her friend Liz, who is sixty going on sixteen and trembling on the brink of a love affair. 'Roughly translated: bloody well stop messing about and get on with it.'Annie naturally embraces the baby boomer's credo that old age, far from being a biological inevitability, is a mere lifestyle choice. If not downright carelessness. That doesn't stop her marshalling her contemporaries into suitable relationships - before it's too late. Perhaps it's even time she did the same for herself. But while smart, sassy Ms Stoneycroft may tempter any romantic fancies with Yorkshire common sense, what she has yet to learn is that love is like the measles. The later it strikes, the harder it hits . . .Sparkling, witty and intelligent, The Time of Her Life is a deliciously perceptive romantic comedy for the modern reader.
The Time of Her Life: romantic comedy to make you laugh out loud
by Kate Fenton'Wonderfully funny and chaotic, Annie Stoneycroft is the heroine we all want to be friends with. She is the best fun with a heart of gold' - Katie Fforde'Carpe diem, as all our generation seem to be saying these days,' Annie Stoneycroft instructs her friend Liz, who is sixty going on sixteen and trembling on the brink of a love affair. 'Roughly translated: bloody well stop messing about and get on with it.'Annie naturally embraces the baby boomer's credo that old age, far from being a biological inevitability, is a mere lifestyle choice. If not downright carelessness. That doesn't stop her marshalling her contemporaries into suitable relationships - before it's too late. Perhaps it's even time she did the same for herself. But while smart, sassy Ms Stoneycroft may temper any romantic fancies with Yorkshire common sense, what she has yet to learn is that love is like the measles. The later it strikes, the harder it hits . . .Sparkling, witty and intelligent, The Time of Her Life is a deliciously perceptive romantic comedy for the modern reader.(P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Time of My Life: The MOST hilarious book you’ll read all year (Karen Pirie #60)
by Rosie Mullender'A brilliantly funny new voice' Jenny ColganImagine the worst day of your life. Now imagine living it on repeat...This Friday the 13th has been particularly unlucky.Jess has been fired from her comfortable job. She's gone from dating two guys to none. She's been kicked out of her mediocre flat. And worst of all, she's really really let down her best friend.As she drifts off to sleep, she is filled with relief that this terrible day is over. Tomorrow she will try to fix things, tomorrow cannot be any worse than this.Except it is. Maybe not worse... but exactly the same. When Jess wakes up the next morning, it is Friday the 13th again. And again. And again. And again.Jess knows how this goes, she's seen the films, this is her wake up call. But she had no idea she needed a wake up call. How is Jess supposed to work out where she's gone wrong when, as far as she's concerned, she's been having the time of her life?Perfect for fans of Mhairi McFarlane, this modern-day Groundhog Day is the ultimate escape for anyone who has ever wanted a do-over._______________'What a wonderful debut! Such fun, and so deftly written, with a fabulous premise and perfect ending.' Jill Mansell'The Time of My Life is a gem - funny, warm, and surprising' Adam Kay