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The Very Fairy Princess
by Julie Andrews Emma Walton Hamilton Christine DavenierWhile her friends and family may not believe in fairies, Geraldine knows, deep down, that she is a VERY fairy princess. From morning to night, Gerry does everything that fairy princesses do: she dresses in her royal attire, practices her flying skills, and she is always on the lookout for problems to solve. But it isn't all twirls and tiaras - as every fairy princess knows, dirty fingernails and scabby knees are just the price you pay for a perfect day! This new picture book addition to the Julie Andrews Collection features the joyful illustrations of Christine Davenier, and is sure to inspire that sparkly feeling within the hearts of readers young and old.
The Very Hungover Caterpillar: A Parody
by Emlyn Rees'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original.' IndependentIn the gloom of the room, a fully dressed man lies on the sofa. The next morning, the TV comes on and - ugh! - ! up lurches a thirsty and very hungover caterpillar. From the bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt, comes another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book. This time, we follow the quest of one man as he attempts to shake off his hangover, through eating whatever he can get his hands on, and annoying his family in the process. The perfect book for anyone who fondly remembers the original, but has now grown up and knows all too well just how painful hungover days can be . . .
The Very Hungry Parasite: It's Not What You're Eating, It's What's Eating You
by Josh MillerDiscover the incredible, disturbing world of diseases and parasites in this faux children’s book for adults—a bathroom reader to die for.Your time on the toilet will never be the same when the colorful facts and stomach-churning trivia in this illustrated bathroom reader begin to scare the crap right out of you, including:• The uniquely powerful diarrhea of Minnesota• How a common STD can turn you into a disfigured walking tree• The brain-eating amoeba that could be swimming in your pool• How much mucus your body produces• An untreatable disease that creates real-life zombies (with sex addictions)• How a sexy fad nearly eradicated an entire species of lice
The Very Hungry Plant
by Renato MoriconiOne morning, a beautiful plant sprouts out of the ground, and it is very, very hungry. But water and sunlight aren&’t the only things this plant craves: it&’s a carnivore! The plant gobbles up everything in its path, from caterpillars to geckos to spaceships. But the plant isn&’t the only one who&’s hungry… With humorous nods to Eric Carle, The Very Hungry Plant is another imaginative adventure from the author-illustrator of The Little Barbarian. Playful, energetic paintings and a dash of absurdity create a story sure to spark laughter with every reading.
The Very Hungry Zombie: A Parody
by Michael Teitelbaum Jon AppleIn this dead-on parody of a children's classic, a very hungry zombie eats his way through a variety of his favorite foods, including clowns, astronauts, rock stars, fingers, and brains. With vivid, playful art and amusing text, The Very Hungry Zombie will appeal to picture-book lovers of all ages. Adults will catch its slightly demented humor. Older kids who grew up on classic board books will love the fun of the parody. And because the art leans toward humor rather than truly graphic grossness, a new generation of little ones may just grow up loving a creepy zombie whose gluttony earns him a bellyache.Beware! This equal opportunity ghoulish gourmand would just love to have you for dinner!
The Very Last List of Vivian Walker
by Megan Albany'This novel has humour and pathos in spades - I laughed and cried' CINDY MACDONALD, The Saturday PaperVivian Walker is dying. This is not on her list of things to do. A darkly funny debut that proves even the most imperfect of lives is worth celebrating.Now that I've got cancer, I know I should be letting go and just being in the moment with my child but, seriously, what mother has got time to spend with their kids?Vivian Walker's life is exceptionally ordinary. Average husband, check. Darling son, check. Refrigerator in a state of permanent disarray, check. Everything is thoroughly and frustratingly routine, even being terminally ill.After receiving her diagnosis, Viv's family won't let her lift a finger . . . for at least a week. But once the novelty wears off, she's lucky to get a cup of tea for her trouble. In preparation for D-day, self-professed control freak Viv has made a list of essential things to do, such as decluttering the playroom and preparing her taxes. She doesn't expect to become spiritually enlightened or have any outlandish last-minute successes. All she wants is to finish her unfinished business.As her final days unfold, Viv realises her life has become a love letter to the mundane but she still manages to keep her wicked sense of humour and cynical take on life unapologetically intact. The Very Last List of Vivian Walker will make you ugly cry, snort tea out your nose with laughter and want to embrace humanity in all its selfishness, beauty and awkwardness.'Compelling. Beautifully relatable. [A] touching story that provides insight into how even the most ordinary person can leave a lot of love behind' Books + Publishing
The Very Merry Poop Christmas
by Samantha BergerFrom Samantha Berger and illustrator Manny Galán, creators of The Great Big Poop Party, comes a hilarious holiday picture book that follows Santa Claus as he reluctantly accepts that Christmas could use a little poop.It's December, and you know what that means: Christmas is coming! But this year, the North Pole is in for a surprise. Never in the history of this most joyous of holidays has poop been so popular . . . and children from all over have poop-ified their wish lists.When the news reaches Santa Claus, he declares Christmas has officially gone down the toilet! But with a bit of convincing—and a strategically placed whoopie cushion—from Mrs. Claus and the rest of the North Pole crew, maybe Santa will understand that Christmas is a time for peace, joy, and love, but also for laughter.The Very Merry Poop Christmas is the pitch-perfect, potty-humor-filled follow-up to kid favorite The Great Big Poop Party, just in time for the holidays!
The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1: Magic Marks the Spot
by Caroline CarlsonPirates Magic Treasure A gargoyle? Caroline Carlsons hilarious tween novel The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1: Magic Marks the Spot is perfect for fans of Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events and Trenton Lee Stewarts Mysterious Benedict Society. Hilary Westfield has always dreamed of being a pirate. She can tread water for thirty-seven minutes. She can tie a knot faster than a fleet of sailors, and she already owns a rather pointy sword. Theres only one problem: The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates refuses to let any girl join their ranks of scourges and scallywags. But Hilary is not the kind of girl to take no for answer. To escape a life of petticoats and politeness at her stuffy finishing school, Hilary sets out in search of her own seaworthy adventure, where she gets swept up in a madcap quest involving a map without an X, a magical treasure that likely doesnt exist, a talking gargoyle, a crew of misfit scallywags, and the most treacherous--and unexpected--villain on the High Seas. Written with uproarious wit and an inviting storyteller tone, the first book in Caroline Carlsons quirky seafaring series is a piratical tale like no other.
The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #2: The Terror of the Southlands
by Caroline Carlson Dave PhillipsMore pirates, more magic, and more adventure in the second book of the Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates series! Caroline Carlson brings the unceasing wit, humor, and fun of the first book in the series, Magic Marks the Spot, to this epic sequel. Fans of Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events and Trenton Lee Stewart's Mysterious Benedict Society will love this quirky tween series and hope to join the VNHLP just like Hilary!Hilary Westfield is now a bona fide pirate, but when her daring, her magical know-how, and even her gargoyle don't convince the VNHLP that she's worthy of her title, the Terror of the Southlands, she sets off with her crew on a High Seas adventure. But then Miss Pimm disappears and Hilary decides to find the missing Enchantress and protect the magic of Augusta.
The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip
by Lane Smith George SaundersFrom the bestselling author of Tenth of December comes a splendid new edition of his acclaimed collaboration with the illustrator behind The Stinky Cheese Man and James and the Giant Peach! Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious images, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a modern fable for people of all ages that touches on the power of kindness, generosity, compassion, and community. In the seaside village of Frip live three families: the Romos, the Ronsens, and a little girl named Capable and her father. The economy of Frip is based solely on goat's milk, and this is a problem because the village is plagued by gappers: bright orange, many-eyed creatures the size of softballs that love to attach themselves to goats. When a gapper gets near a goat, it lets out a high-pitched shriek of joy that puts the goats off giving milk, which means that every few hours the children of Frip have to go outside, brush the gappers off their goats, and toss them into the sea. The gappers have always been everyone's problem, until one day they get a little smarter, and instead of spreading out, they gang up: on Capable's goats. Free at last of the tyranny of the gappers, will her neighbors rally to help her? Or will they turn their backs, forcing Capable to bear the misfortune alone? Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious illustrations by Lane Smith and a brilliant story by George Saunders that explores universal themes of community and kindness, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a rich and resonant story for those that have all and those that have not.
The Very Pointless Quiz Book: Prove your Pointless Credentials
by Alexander Armstrong Richard OsmanLet hosts Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman guide you through the quiz rounds with their trademark warmth and humour and battle it out against your friends and family for Pointless glory. Perfect for playing along alone or with family and friends, The Very Pointless Quiz Book will test your knowledge and tease your brains.So how good are you at Pointless? Really? Do you think you've got enough in-depth knowledge of Regional Railways, African Countries With No Coastline and Types of Lettuce to carry off the coveted Pointless trophy?Well let's see shall we?Here's your chance to step up to the podium (metaphorically speaking of course, chances are you'll be sitting somewhere very comfortably with either a mug of tea or a roll of Andrex within easy reach) put that knowledge to the test, and see just how far you can go in a genuine four-round Pointless ordeal.Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless...
The Very Pointless Quiz Book: Prove your Pointless Credentials (Pointless Books #3)
by Alexander Armstrong Richard OsmanLet hosts Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman guide you through the quiz rounds with their trademark warmth and humour and battle it out against your friends and family for Pointless glory. Perfect for playing along alone or with family and friends, The Very Pointless Quiz Book will test your knowledge and tease your brains.So how good are you at Pointless? Really? Do you think you've got enough in-depth knowledge of Regional Railways, African Countries With No Coastline and Types of Lettuce to carry off the coveted Pointless trophy?Well let's see shall we?Here's your chance to step up to the podium (metaphorically speaking of course, chances are you'll be sitting somewhere very comfortably with either a mug of tea or a roll of Andrex within easy reach) put that knowledge to the test, and see just how far you can go in a genuine four-round Pointless ordeal.Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless...
The Very Smart Pea and the Princess-to-be
by Mini GreyWhen it comes to sorting out a Real Princess from a Fake Princess, the famous pea-under-the-mattress test is tried-and-true. But for those of you who may have wondered how anyone could feel a tiny garden-variety pea under the weight of twenty mattresses, this book will put that question to rest once and for all. This witty spoof was shortlisted for the prestigious Kate Greenaway Medal in the UK. It was Mini Grey's first book and a worthy predecessor to such favorites as Traction Man is Here!From the Hardcover edition.
The Very Stuffed Turkey (Cartwheel Pbk Picture Bks.)
by Katharine KenahA Thanksgiving story featuring a large turkey with a big problem......he's been invited to EVERYONE'S home for dinner!With five homes to visit -- Horse's, Pig's, Sheep and Goat's, Cow's, and Mouse's --Turkey knows there'll be a ton of food to eat. But there'll also be friends and their families who can't wait to celebrate the holiday with Turkey! Can this very plump bird make it through every meal without bursting? A silly, read-aloud story featuring food, friends, and one hilarious turkey!
The Very Thirsty Vampire
by Michael Teitelbaum Jon AppleIn this hilarious parody of a children's classic, and a follow-up to its highly successful cousin, The Very Hungry Zombie, The Very Thirsty Vampire presents a charming little fellow with a very specific kind of thirst. As he drinks his way through a variety of bartenders, baristas, wine stewards, soda jerks, and other venders of fine beverages who try to quench his thirst, he pines for something of more substance, finally finding it in a blood bank, where hopeful nurses think he's there to make a deposit, but the clever reader knows he's only there to make a very sizeable withdrawal!With vivid, playful art and amusing text, The Very Thirsty Vampire will appeal to picture-book lovers of all ages. Adults will catch its slightly demented humor. Older kids who grew up on classic board books will love the fun of the parody. And all who appreciate the undead will adore this dashing bloodthirsty gentleman with a wicked sense of humor.
The Very True Legend of the Mongolian Death Worms
by Sandra FayA funny picture book celebrating the universal truth about wanting to be loved just as you are, fangs and all, inspired by the real-life legend of Mongolian Death Worms.Like the ongoing search for Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster, scientists have searched the Gobi Desert for these giant worms. Reported sightings claim that their skin is blood red; their fangs razor sharp. The worms are supposedly poisonous and electrifying . . . or are they? In this funny story, we meet the Mongolian Death Worm family: Beverly, Trevor, Neville and Kevin. In spite of their deadly reputation, they’re determined to make nice and win over the other animals. Their overtures of friendship are . . . not reciprocated. But when disaster strikes, it’s the Mongolian Death Worm family to the rescue! With additional information about the legend, this book is perfect for storytime and discussions of legends and science. Perfect for fans of Ben Clanton, Sandra Fay's The Very True Legend of the Mongolian Death Worms will leave readers of all ages laughing and heartwarmed!
The Very Wicked Witch
by Mark GartsideA very nasty witch hatches an evil plan to make a pie made of children! Too bad, the child she snatches up is Hector, the naughtiest boy in town. The witch will have her work cut out for her as Hector keeps disrupting her plan! Hector will not go down without a fight!
The Very Worst Missionary: A Memoir or Whatever
by Jamie Wright“The reason you love Jamie (or are about to) is because she says exactly what the rest of us are thinking, but we’re too afraid to upset the apple cart. She is a voice for the outlier, and we’re famished for what she has to say.” --Jen Hatmaker, New York Times bestselling author of Of Mess and Moxie and For the Love Wildly popular blogger "Jamie the Very Worst Missionary" delivers a searing, offbeat, often hilarious memoir of spiritual disintegration and re-formation. As a quirky Jewish kid and promiscuous punkass teen, Jamie Wright never imagines becoming a Christian, let alone a Christian missionary. She is barely an adult when the trials of motherhood and marriage put her on an unexpected collision course with Jesus. After finding her faith at a suburban megachurch, Jamie trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her family, she earnestly hopes to serve God and change lives. But faced with a yawning culture gap and persistent shortcomings in herself and her fellow workers, she soon loses confidence in the missionary enterprise and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Nearly paralyzed by depression, yet still wanting to make a difference, she decides to tell the whole, disenchanted truth: Missionaries suck and our work makes no sense at all! From her sofa in Central America, she launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, and against all odds wins a large and passionate following. Which leads her to see that maybe a "bad" missionary--awkward, doubtful, and vocal—is exactly what the world and the throngs of American do-gooders need. The Very Worst Missionary is a disarming, ultimately inspiring spiritual memoir for well-intentioned contrarians everywhere. It will appeal to readers of Nadia Bolz-Weber, Jen Hatmaker, Ann Lamott, Jana Reiss, Mallory Ortberg, and Rachel Held Evans.
The Vicar Vortex (The Mildly Catastrophic Misadventures of Tony Vicar #3)
by Vince R. DitrichTony Vicar is wrestling against the ordinary patterns his life has fallen into, until dark secrets and a dangerous woman from the past threaten to upend it all.After the devastating fire that nearly destroyed his hotel and pub, Tony Vicar has rebuilt both Hotel Valentine and The Vicar’s Knickers once again. But the glamour of being a barman has lost some of its lustre and the responsibility is incessant. Even a couple of famous television mediums determined to uncover the truth about the hotel’s mysterious ghost can’t seem to stir Vicar from the unwelcome state of “normality” his life has settled into.But life in Tyee Lagoon has a way of veering away from normal, as proven when femme fatale Serena, unexpectedly freed of criminal charges, returns to town to steal back baby Frankie — who she abandoned on Vicar’s doorstep two years before — and hopefully ensnare Tony in the process. Serena hits a new high in outrageous and dangerous behaviour, allowing no one, especially not Tony’s girlfriend Jacquie O, to get in her way.On the defensive, Vicar tries to protect his little family, while simultaneously attempting to stop the endless circles of his life and learn lessons about authenticity, caring, and the surprising power of his effect on others … including his mother-in-law.
The Vicar of Nibbleswicke
by Roald Dahl<P>The Reverend Robert Lee triumphed over dyslexia as a child. But when he becomes the new vicar of Nibbleswicke, that triumph turns to travesty. For his condition has not resurfaced in its old manner, but in a virulent and highly peculiar form. Without his even being aware of it, the most important words in the sentences he utters mysteriously turn themselves around and come out backwards. A vicar calling on the blessing of Dog Almighty? Drol help the good people of Nibbleswicke! <P>Once again Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake join forces, spinning a hilarious story of a most remarkable vicar, whose unusual solution to his problem is sure to amuse Dahl's many fans.
The Vicar of Nibbleswicke
by Roald DahlThe Reverend Lee is suffering from a rare and acutely embarrassing condition: Back-to-Front Dyslexia. It affects only his speech, and he doesn't realize he's doing it, but the parishioners of Nibbleswicke are shocked and confused by his seemingly outrageous comments. At last a cure is found and the mild-mannered vicar can resume normal service. Or at least as normal as is possible for a man who must walk backwards to be sure of talking forwards!A highly comic tale in the best Dahl tradition of craziness, written for the benefit of the Dyslexia Institute.
The Vicar of Wakefield
by Oliver GoldsmithWhen Dr Primrose loses his fortune in a disastrous investment, his idyllic life in the country is shattered and he is forced to move with his wife and six children to an impoverished living on the estate of Squire Thornhill. Taking to the road in pursuit of his daughter, who has been seduced by the rakish Squire, the beleaguered Primrose becomes embroiled in a series of misadventures - encountering his long-lost son in a travelling theatre company and even spending time in a debtor's prison. Yet Primrose, though hampered by his unworldliness and pride, is sustained by his unwavering religious faith. In The Vicar of Wakefield, Goldsmith gently mocks many of the literary conventions of his day - from pastoral and romance to the picaresque - infusing his story of a hapless clergyman with warm humour and amiable social satire.
The Vicar's Knickers (The Mildly Catastrophic Misadventures of Tony Vicar #2)
by Vince R. DitrichTony Vicar is setting his sights on new (mis)adventures in this laugh-out-loud follow-up to The Liquor Vicar.Tony Vicar, now an internationally known celebrity — due to greatly exaggerated news reports of his nearly miraculous powers — has turned his attention to renovating his recently inherited crumbling old hotel in the wacky town of Tyee Lagoon. It’s a good thing his level-headed girlfriend, Jacquie O, is on board to temper his more outlandish ideas, because the pair plan to turn the hotel’s dumpy old beer parlour into the Vicar’s Knickers — a lavish and beautiful pub.Of course, building a tiny empire is not without challenges, shocks, oppositions, and calamities. Vicar’s celebrity is threatened as he is assailed by Hollywood gossip journalist Richard X. Dick — a cynic determined to undermine Vicar at every turn. On top of that, a surprise that changes everything is unexpectedly left on Vicar and Jacquie O’s doorstep late one night in a heavy blizzard.Vicar feels the pressure mounting and fears he may be cracking. He’s beginning to see and hear things that simply cannot be accounted for. Surrounded by forces both invisible and all too obvious, he must tackle the greatest misadventure of his life: parenthood.
The View From Penthouse B
by Elinor LipmanTwo sisters recover from widowhood, divorce, and Bernie Madoff as unexpected roommates in a Manhattan apartment in this humorous novel.Unexpectedly widowed Gwen-Laura Schmidt is still mourning her husband, Edwin, when her older sister Margot invites her to join forces as roommates in Margot’s luxurious Village apartment. For Margot, divorced amid scandal (hint: her husband was a fertility doctor) and then made Ponzi-poor, it’s a chance to shake Gwen out of her grief and help make ends meet. To further this effort, she enlists a third boarder, the handsome, cupcake-baking Anthony.As the three swap money-making schemes and timid Gwen ventures back out into the dating world, the arrival of Margot’s paroled ex in the efficiency apartment downstairs creates not just complications but the chance for all sorts of unexpected forgiveness. A sister story about love, loneliness, and new life in middle age, this is a cracklingly witty, deeply sweet novel from one of our finest comic writers.Praise for The View from Penthouse B“More delicious than my cup of steaming cocoa . . . tender, funny . . . The View from Penthouse B sparkles with wit.” —The New York Times Book Review “It's all wonderful fun. Lipman sketches her characters’ foibles with amused affection and moves the plot forward with practiced ease. . . . Lipman’s fiction always honors an implicit contract to provide reader satisfaction.” —Washington Post“[A] shabby-chic fantasia . . . Lipman’s milieu is gentle comedy, and her novels gravitate toward optimism: They’re mischievous, sometimes wry, but hopeful of romance and redemption even in an emotionally messy world.” —The Boston Globe
The View Was Exhausting
by Mikaella Clements Onjuli Datta&“A pure delight! Effortlessly cool, razor sharp, and crazy fun—I couldn&’t put it down.&”—Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling authors of Daisy Jones & the Six "The complex, Hollywood love story we've all been waiting for—I couldn't get enough."—Emily Henry, New York Times bestselling author of Beach Read Faking a love story is a whole lot easier than being in love . . .The world can see that international A-list actress Whitman ("Win") Tagore and jet-setting playboy Leo Milanowski are made for each other. Their kisses start Twitter trends and their fights break the internet. From red carpet appearances to Met Gala mishaps, their on-again, off-again romance has titillated the public and the press for almost a decade. But it's all a lie.As a woman of color, Win knows the Hollywood deck is stacked against her, so she's perfected the art of controlling her public persona. Whenever she nears scandal, she calls in Leo, with his endearingly reckless attitude, for a staged date. Each public display of affection shifts the headlines back in Win's favor, and Leo uses the good press to draw attention away from his dysfunctional family.Pretending to be in a passionate romance is one thing, but Win knows that a real relationship would lead to nothing but trouble. So instead they settle for friendship, with a side of sky-rocketing chemistry. Except this time, on the French Riviera, something is off. A shocking secret in Leo's past sets Win's personal and professional lives on a catastrophic collision course. Behind the scenes of their yacht-trips and PDA, the world's favorite couple is at each other's throats. Now they must finally confront the many truths and lies of their relationship, and Win is forced to consider what is more important: a rising career, or a risky shot at real love?The View Was Exhausting is a funny, wickedly observant modern love story set against the backdrop of exotic locales and the realities of being a woman of color in a world run by men.