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The World's Funniest Lawyer Jokes: A Caseload of Jurisprudential Jest
by Steven D. PriceWhat is it about lawyers that has made them the butt of hundreds and hundreds of jokes over the centuries? Whatever the reason, everyone--including lawyers and judges themselves--has laughed at attorney-aimed humor. Now here is the best and most recent collection of jokes, anecdotes, quotations, and proverbs that poke fun (. . . and malice) at the legal profession. In summation, you must find The World's Funniest Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe attorney to many hours of laughter.
The World's Greatest Adventure Machine
by Frank L. ColeAn adventure novel about four lucky kids and a mysterious, but thrilling ride for fans of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Jurassic Park! CastleCorp and the famous Castleton brothers are unveiling the World’s Greatest Adventure Machine! The roller coaster is an experience like no other, and four lucky kids have won the chance to be the first to ride it. There’s Trevor, whose latest stunt got him in trouble at school again. There’s Devin, whose father is pushing him to be the next Internet sensation. Nika’s wealthy grandfather isn’t too pleased about her participation. And Cameron, he’ll be the first to tell you, is a certified genius. The whole world is watching. But as the kids set off on their journey, they begin to realize that there is perhaps more to their fellow contest winners than meets the eye. And the Adventure Machine? It might just have a mind of its own. Join the contestants on their wild ride if you dare. Your adventure starts now!
The World's Greatest Book of Useless Information
by Noel BothamDid you know that snails can sleep for three years without eating? Or that the average four-year-old asks over 400 questions a day? The Useless Information Society was formed by some of Britain's best-loved journalists, who meet regularly to swap new nuggets of trivia. This is the third collection of their incredible, fascinating, and utterly trivial findings. Each page is packed with off-the-wall, mind boggling facts guaranteed to amuse and delight in equal measure.
The World's Greatest Chocolate-Covered Pork Chops
by Ryan K. SagerTwelve-year-old chef Zoey Kate's Fried Banana Fondue is delectable, her Maple Cinnamon Crab Fajitas are divine, and her Chocolate-Covered Pork Chops are to die for. Zoey is the best cook in town and she wants everyone to know it. She's on a mission to start her own restaurant, but quickly learns that the restaurant industry is competitive . . . and dangerous. There are people who see Zoey as a threat, and they'll use any means necessary to make sure that she fails. Featuring a precocious, larger-than-life character, lots of humor, fast-paced action and mouth-watering foods, this cooking story is sure to appeal to young foodies and fans of shows like MasterChef Junior and Rachael vs. Guy: Kids Cook-Off.
The World's Greatest Detective
by Caroline CarlsonCaroline Carlson, author of the Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates series, returns with The World’s Greatest Detective, a story of crime, tricks, and hilarity for those who know that sometimes it takes a pair of junior sleuths to solve a slippery case.Detectives’ Row is full of talented investigators, but Toby Montrose isn’t one of them. He’s only an assistant at his uncle’s detective agency, and he’s not sure he’s even very good at that. Toby’s friend Ivy is the best sleuth around—or at least she thinks so. They both see their chance to prove themselves when the famed Hugh Abernathy announces a contest to choose the World’s Greatest Detective. But when what was supposed to be a game turns into a real-life murder mystery, can Toby and Ivy crack the case?
The World's Largest Man: A Memoir
by Harrison Scott KeyWinner of the 2016 Thurber PrizeHarrison Scott Key was born in Memphis, but he grew up in Mississippi, among pious Bible-reading women and men who either shot things or got women pregnant. At the center of his world was his larger-than-life father—a hunter, a fighter, a football coach, "a man better suited to living in a remote frontier wilderness of the nineteenth century than contemporary America, with all its progressive ideas and paved roads and lack of armed duels. He was a great man, and he taught me many things: how to fight and work and cheat and how to pray to Jesus about it, how to kill things with guns and knives and, if necessary, with hammers."Harrison, with his love of books and excessive interest in hugging, couldn't have been less like Pop, and when it became clear that he was not able to kill anything very well, or otherwise make his father happy, he resolved to become everything his father was not: an actor, a Presbyterian, and a doctor of philosophy. But when it was time to settle down and start a family of his own, Harrison began to view his father in a new light and realized—for better and for worse—how much like his old man he'd become.Sly, heartfelt, and tirelessly hilarious, The World's Largest Man is an unforgettable memoir—the story of a boy's struggle to reconcile himself with an impossibly outsize role model, and a grown man's reckoning with the father it took him a lifetime to understand.
The World's Most Notorious Greek: The Surprise Bollywood Baby (born Into Bollywood) / The World's Most Notorious Greek (Mills And Boon Modern Ser.)
by Jackie AshendenA thrilling kiss with a stranger paves the way for an explosive wedding night in this wonderfully angsty marriage of convenience romance by Jackie Ashenden.The price of his ring:Passion… But at what cost?To defy the father who refused to acknowledge him and gain his rightful inheritance, Achilles Templeton must wed and have a son. For a famous playboy like him, such conditions seem impossible. Until he meets the perfect bride right next door…Innocent Willow Hall has exhausted her spirit—and bank account—caring for a father who never truly loved her. Achilles&’s proposition is an outlandish lifeline! But it&’s not the terms of their convenient marriage that scare her… It&’s the all-consuming fire Achilles unleashes within her!From Harlequin Presents: Escape to exotic locations where passion knows no bounds.
The World's Scariest Jokebook
by John ByrneA hilarious collection of jokes about all things spooky and scary; including witches, ghosts, vampires, werewolves and other horrible creatures. Hundreds of original jokes and cartoons, as well as fun features and mad ads, all given the distinctive John Byrne treatment.
The World's Wildest Cons: Incredible True Tales of Hustles, Frauds and Swindles
by Duncan McKenzieThe World’s Dumbest Criminals meets Inventing Anna, The Tinder Swindler and Catch Me If You CanCon artists all have one thing in common: the audacity.This compelling collection brings you true stories of con men and women who charm their way into all kinds of hijinks. We’re all familiar with Frank Abagnale (of Catch Me If You Can fame), Charles Ponzi (of . . . well, the Ponzi scheme), Anna Delvey (of Netflix’s Inventing Anna) and Bernie Madoff (who made off with the money). But they’re just the ones you've heard of. This collection offers not only tons of stories of actual cons, it also digs into the way cons have evolved to incorporate technology or adapt to cultural differences over time and around the world. Some cons just keep on giving, changing their stripes to work time and time again. From impostor doctors to gambling swindles to selling the Eiffel Tower for parts, McKenzie takes you on a wild ride through cons of all shapes and sizes.From funny to stupid to diabolical, The World’s Wildest Cons will captivate you—because when it comes to a con artist, we just can’t look away.
The World's Worst Assistant
by Sona MovsesianFrom Conan O&’Brien&’s longtime assistant and cohost of his podcast, Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, a completely hilarious and irreverent how-to guide for becoming a terrible, yet unfireable employee, spilling her trade secrets for minimizing effort while maximizing the rewards. Sona Movsesian didn&’t wake up one day and decide to become the World&’s Worst Assistant. Achieving such greatness is a gradual process--one that starts with long hours and hard work before it eventually descends into sneaking low-dosage edibles into your lunch and napping on your boss&’s couch. With a forward from Conan O&’Brien, The World&’s Worst Assistant is populated with hysterical black-and-white illustrations, comics, and more. It&’s a mixture of how-tos (like How to Nap at Work and How to Watch TV at Your Desk), tips for becoming untouchable (like memorizing social security and credit card numbers and endearing yourself to friends and family), and incredible personal stories from Sona&’s twelve years spent working for Conan that put their adorable closeness and professional dysfunction on display. In these pages, Sona will explain her descent from eager, hard-working, ambitious, detail-orientated assistant to self-awarded title-holder for the worst in history. This book is irresistible fun you&’ll want to give to every young professional in your life. For readers of heartfelt humor like that of Phoebe Robinson and Colin Jost, The World&’s Worst Assistant is a chance for fans, viewers, and listeners of Conan&’s shows and podcast to fall in love with Sona and Conan all over again.
The World's Worst Children 3 (World's Worst Ser.)
by Tony Ross David WalliamsThe World's Worst Children 3: Fiendishly Funny New Short Stories for Fans of David Walliams Books [Paperback] [Jan 01, 2008] David Walliams
The World's Worst Teachers
by Tony Ross David WalliamsMillions of young readers have loved the World’s Worst Children tales – now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever: The World’s Worst Teachers. From the phenomenally bestselling David Walliams and illustrated in glorious colour by the artistic genius, Tony Ross. Think your teachers are bad? Wait till you meet this lot. These ten tales of the world’s most splendidly sinister teachers will have you running for the school gates. Dr Dread teaches science and is half man, half monster… Watch out for the ghastly Miss Seethe. She is ALWAYS furious – and she’s on a detention rampage. And as for Pent, he’s a teacher with a real difference. He is bone-shakingly terrified of… children! Millions of children have loved the World’s Worst Children – now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever, The World’s Worst Teachers. Brought to you by number one bestselling author, David Walliams, with every story illustrated in glorious colour by artistic genius, Tony Ross.
The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting, Hideous, Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things on Earth
by Mark FrauenfelderAn exploration of very bad things, from the most disgusting fruit to the worst case of speculative hysteria. Many books are dedicated to the finest things life has to offer. This is all well and good, but the real entertainment is to be found not in the cream of the crop, but at the bottom of the barrel. The World&’s Worst is a celebration/indictment of nearly fifty infamous and little-known exemplars of the awful. In thoroughly researched, scathingly funny essays, Mark Frauenfelder avoids the obvious and digs deep to tell the fascinating tales of the worst people, places, and things on Earth for the reader&’s amusement and edification. Simply put, The World&’s Worst is hilariously unafraid to wallow in the mire. Horrible highlights lowlights include: *Most Unappealing Fetish *Most Disgusting Coffee Drink *Most Horrific Self-Help Technique *Least Adorable Pet *Saddest Fate for an Island Nation *Worst Molasses-Related Disaster, and more
The World's Worsts
by Les KrantzA hilarious collection of the lowest of the lows - from the worst generals to the dumbest dogs, the shortest Hollywood marriages to the most dangerous golf courses. The World's Worsts is the latest compendium of quirky information and vamped-up trivia from Pop Culture guru Les Krantz. This entertaining and utterly addictive reference taps into the dark side of human nature and the less-than-stellar and perhaps best forgotten moments in history. Drew Barrymore makes the Top-10 Shortest Celebrity Marriage list TWICE! #4 Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas - 19 days #7 Drew Barrymore and Tom Green - 5 months Worst Military Leaders #2 Philip VI of France (1293-1350) Lost 4000 (one-third of his force) to a mere 100 English soldiers in the Battle of Crécy The World's Dumbest Dogs #1 Afghan Hound #7 Beagle
The Worm Family Has Its Picture Taken
by Jennifer FrankWorms don't take good family photos, do they? Find out in this hilarious picture book from a Caldecott Honor illustrator and debut author about a young worm who comes to appreciate her very unusual family for who they are.Emma is excited for her worm family to have their portrait taken. But when she sees her other friends' portraits, she gets discouraged. "We had the most beautiful smiles," Ellie the Chipmunk squeals. Abigail the Cat meows, "I looked gorgeous with my big poufy hair." The worm family doesn't have teeth...how will they show their beautiful smiles? They don't have hair either...how can it look big and poufy?! So Emma gathers wigs, giant fake teeth, and colorful clothing for her parents and sisters. But it's only after taking off their costumes that the worm family is able to wriggle and squiggle and squeeze into a delightful pose that only a worm family can make. And Emma? She thinks it's perfectly perfect.
The Worm: The Disgusting Critters Series (Disgusting Critters)
by Elise GravelA hilarious illustrated non-fiction book about the worm, perfect for beginning readers. The humorous text and funny illustrations will give it trade appeal, while the non-fiction content is perfect for the institutional market. The second in a series of humorous books about disgusting creatures, The Worm is a look at the earthworm. It covers such topics as the worm's habitats (sometimes they live inside other animals), its anatomy (its muscle tube is slimy and gross), and its illustrious history (worms have been on earth for 120 million years). Although silly and off-the-wall, The Worm contains real information that will tie in with curriculum.
The Worshipful Lucia & Trouble for Lucia
by E. F. BensonE. F. Benson's beloved Mapp and Lucia novels are sparkling, classic comedies of manners set against the petty snobberies and competitive maneuverings of English village society in the 1920s and 1930s.The Worshipful Lucia (1935; published in the UK as Lucia's Progress) and Trouble for Lucia (1939) are the last two novels in Benson's series. They chronicle the ongoing battles of his famous characters--Mrs. Lucia Lucas and Miss Elizabeth Mapp--in the idyllic seaside village of Tilling, which proves too small to contain both of them. While both are hypocritical snobs, Lucia is animated by marvelous delusions of grandeur and Mapp by insatiable curiosity and chronic rage; their epic collisions rock their small society and provide the narrative engines for Benson's gloriously farcical masterpieces.
The Worst Best Man: A Novel
by Mia Sosa"A romantic comedy that's fun and flirty, young and fresh." – Popsugar (22 of the Best Books This Winter Has to Offer)One of Oprah Magazine's 21 Romance Novels That Are Set to Be the Best of 2020 and a LibraryReads Pick for FebruaryMia Sosa delivers a sassy, steamy #ownvoices enemies-to-lovers novel, perfect for fans of Jasmine Guillory, Helen Hoang, and Sally Thorne! A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn’t lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina’s offered an opportunity that could change her life. There’s just one hitch… she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he’ll be working with his brother’s whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him. If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they’ll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina’s ready to dish out a little payback of her own. Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn’t interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...
The Worst Best Man: a hilarious and spicy romantic comedy from the author of Things We Never got Over
by Lucy ScoreFrom Sunday Times and #1 New York Times bestselling author of Things We Never Got Over The bride is a doll. The groom is the perfect gentleman. But the rest of the wedding party are the stuff of nightmares.Rich? YesVapid? YesEntitled? YesAnd the Best Man? More like the Worst Man. But Maid of Honor Franchesca takes her duties seriously. There's no way she's going to let that pretentious, judgmental jackhole ruin her best friend's wedding. No matter how sexy he is . . .
The Worst Breakfast
by China Miéville Zak SmithPublishers Note: This is the flowable text e-book edition, optimized for e-ink readers that cannot support fixed layout e-books. If you have a tablet or software that can support fixed format e-books, please search for The Worst Breakfast: Fixed Layout Edition. The Fixed Layout e-book more closely resembles the illustrator's and author's design of the print book. This edition presents the text and images separately, on alternating pages.Named to Kirkus Reviews' Best Books of 2016!A Mississippi Clarion-Ledger best seller!"Miéville and Smith's dialogue is fantastic: witty, smart, with great rhythm that doesn't sacrifice artful turns of phrase to reach for an internal rhyme...Smith's artwork keeps pace with the text, which the artist sets into little rectangles to contrast with the jaggedly flamboyant paintings that get increasingly manic as the girl goes on, incorporating tentacles and pterodactyls as well as piled-high foodstuffs...This should be in the hands of all kids who aren't easily satiated by tamer picture books and who would engage with a real work of art that they can revisit over and over. None of the artwork is too gross to behold, even for the squeamish, but it does perfectly illustrate the culinary horrors the girl is trying to convey to her sister. A brilliant, original, infinitely rereadable book that can sit alongside Sendak and Dahl."--Kirkus Reviews, Starred review"Miéville lets it rip in this stomping, howling rant about a bad meal of legendary proportions . . . Punk artist Smith’s neatly framed dialogue boxes and crisp black contours have a buttoned-up look, but no: tentacles wave from inside bowls, monsters smile amid mountains of vile sausages, and a blue alien juggles cherry tomatoes. As the pages turn, the towers of bad food grow ever loftier. In the end, a simple tea strainer saves the sisters from another terrible meal. This one’s for families enamored of new words, exotic foods, and strong opinions."--Publishers Weekly"Miéville, known for his genre-defying fantasy novels for adults, makes a splash with his picture book debut. Smith’s illustrations, filled with geometric shapes and patterns, are the perfect complement to the text...This is a subversive delight."--School Library Journal"Deftly written by the exceptionally talented China Miéville and shockingly but gifted illustrated by Zak Smith, The Worst Breakfast is a unique picture book that will be enduringly popular . . . Very highly recommended."--Midwest Book Review"This is a child’s imagination come to life, where a good thing can be the greatest thing in existence and a minor inconvenience snowballs into the most horrendous, atrocious, appalling, not good, very bad meal you’ve ever had."--San Francisco Book Review"Imaginative and fun, The Worst Breakfast is perfect for any picky eater out there. A rhyming scheme and inventive text kept up the giggles and the pace. The text is best read aloud going along with all of the suggestions, with emphasis placed on capitalized words and pauses between syllables when they are spaced out. The illustrations are very different than what you typically see in children’s books; they are bright and fun, but edgier and begged to be looked at deeper. You can spend time on each page trying to find each food and a series of silly little monsters."--100 Pages a DayPart of Akashic's Black Sheep imprint.Two sisters sit down one morning and begin describing all of the really gross things that were in the worst breakfast they ever had, until all they can picture is a table piled sky-high with the weirdest, yuckiest, slimiest, slickest, stinkiest breakfast possible. And then they have the best breakfast ever...almost.
The Worst Call Ever!: The Most Infamous Calls Ever Blown by Referees, Umpires, and Other Blind Officials
by Kyle Garlett Patrick O'NealIn any sport, whenever an official takes the field, court, ice, ring, or pitch, they do so with a bright red bull's-eye on their backs. For even with their great accuracy and passion for the game, they do make errors—occasionally, great big fat ones—that change the tide of sports history.In The Worst Call Ever, keepers of truth and enlightenment, sportswriters Kyle Garlett and Patrick O'Neal, expose the most injurious mistakes and desecrations, document their lasting damage—which to some wronged parties has evolved into a condition akin to post-traumatic stress disorder—and hopefully become the soothing balm of reconciliation.Each piece details the play in question and examines the players and stakes involved, the scope of the injustice, and the path of change that was often its result. Garlett and O'Neal cover mishaps in all sports, from the four Major Leagues to golf and auto racing to even curling, in this fascinating look at the worst calls in sports history.
The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club
by Chrissie ManbyThe wonderful new novel from Chrissie Manby, perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley and Cathy Bramley. In the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz, determined to find love, has heard the old adage that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. John is newly widowed after fifty-seven years of marriage, facing a lifetime of cheese on toast. Twenty-two year old DeeDee has been drifting from one dead-end job to another. The only thing they have in common: between them, they can barely boil an egg!Enter charismatic chef Jack, determined to teach his pupils how to cook the meal of a lifetime. As Liz, John and DeeDee encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?(P)2017 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club: the perfect laugh-out-loud romantic comedy
by Chrissie Manby'Funny, warm and engaging; this year's must-read! 5****' By the Letter Book ReviewsIn the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz's husband has left her for a twenty-something clean-eating blogger, and she's determined to show the world - and her daughter - she's just as capable in the kitchen. John, newly widowed after fifty years of marriage, can't live on sympathy lasagnes forever. To thirty-year-old workaholic Bella, the course is a welcome escape from her high-pressure job. Their only common ground: between them, they can barely boil an egg! Enter talented chef Alex, who is determined to introduce his pupils to the comforts of cuisine. As Liz, John and Bella encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?The wonderful new novel from bestselling author Chrissie Manby is perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley, Cathy Bramley, and The Great British Bake Off.Praise for The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club:'A lovely book which brought a tear to my eye in places' - Broadbeansbooks'Heartwarming' - The Book Bag'Funny and emotional...a MUST READ this autumn' - On My Bookshelf'A very warm tale full of different kinds of love; just delicious!' - Netgalley Reviewer'If you want a funny, emotional read that will leave you wanting more then you need this book in your life!' - Goodreads'I loved this book... the perfect place to find a recipe for happiness!' - Goodreads'What an absolute joy to read...such a lovely story' - Goodreads'A winning recipe of a story... I devoured it from cover to cover!' - Goodreads 'Just the breath of fresh air that I needed... I could have kept reading for many more pages!' - Netgalley'I adored this hilarious book!' I Read Novels'Chrissie Manby has cooked up a fine tale' Cultural Wednesday'What a wonderfully lighthearted and uplifting novel, one I couldn't put down' - Bloglovin'An absolute joy to read - highly recommended for when you need a little pick-me-up!' - Brew and Book Reviews
The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club: the perfect laugh-out-loud romantic comedy
by Chrissie Manby'Funny, warm and engaging; this year's must-read! 5****' By the Letter Book ReviewsIn the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz's husband has left her for a twenty-something clean-eating blogger, and she's determined to show the world - and her daughter - she's just as capable in the kitchen. John, newly widowed after fifty years of marriage, can't live on sympathy lasagnes forever. To thirty-year-old workaholic Bella, the course is a welcome escape from her high-pressure job. Their only common ground: between them, they can barely boil an egg! Enter talented chef Alex, who is determined to introduce his pupils to the comforts of cuisine. As Liz, John and Bella encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?The wonderful new novel from bestselling author Chrissie Manby is perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley, Cathy Bramley, and The Great British Bake Off.Praise for The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club:'A lovely book which brought a tear to my eye in places' - Broadbeansbooks'Heartwarming' - The Book Bag'Funny and emotional...a MUST READ this autumn' - On My Bookshelf'A very warm tale full of different kinds of love; just delicious!' - Netgalley Reviewer'If you want a funny, emotional read that will leave you wanting more then you need this book in your life!' - Goodreads'I loved this book... the perfect place to find a recipe for happiness!' - Goodreads'What an absolute joy to read...such a lovely story' - Goodreads'A winning recipe of a story... I devoured it from cover to cover!' - Goodreads 'Just the breath of fresh air that I needed... I could have kept reading for many more pages!' - Netgalley'I adored this hilarious book!' I Read Novels'Chrissie Manby has cooked up a fine tale' Cultural Wednesday'What a wonderfully lighthearted and uplifting novel, one I couldn't put down' - Bloglovin'An absolute joy to read - highly recommended for when you need a little pick-me-up!' - Brew and Book Reviews
The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Junior Edition
by David Borgenicht Robin Epstein Justin HeimbergBraces. Bullies. Chores. Childhood is chock-full of perils-- but finally here's something to come to the rescue. The newest title in the phenomenally successful Worst-Case Scenario series provides kid-friendly, hands-on, step-by-step instructions for outwitting a nosy sibling, surviving a school dance, cleaning your room in a snap, dealing with an irritated parent (recognizing the tell-tale signs!), and more.