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The World's Worst Teachers
by Tony Ross David WalliamsMillions of young readers have loved the World’s Worst Children tales – now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever: The World’s Worst Teachers. From the phenomenally bestselling David Walliams and illustrated in glorious colour by the artistic genius, Tony Ross. Think your teachers are bad? Wait till you meet this lot. These ten tales of the world’s most splendidly sinister teachers will have you running for the school gates. Dr Dread teaches science and is half man, half monster… Watch out for the ghastly Miss Seethe. She is ALWAYS furious – and she’s on a detention rampage. And as for Pent, he’s a teacher with a real difference. He is bone-shakingly terrified of… children! Millions of children have loved the World’s Worst Children – now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever, The World’s Worst Teachers. Brought to you by number one bestselling author, David Walliams, with every story illustrated in glorious colour by artistic genius, Tony Ross.
The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting, Hideous, Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things on Earth
by Mark FrauenfelderAn exploration of very bad things, from the most disgusting fruit to the worst case of speculative hysteria. Many books are dedicated to the finest things life has to offer. This is all well and good, but the real entertainment is to be found not in the cream of the crop, but at the bottom of the barrel. The World&’s Worst is a celebration/indictment of nearly fifty infamous and little-known exemplars of the awful. In thoroughly researched, scathingly funny essays, Mark Frauenfelder avoids the obvious and digs deep to tell the fascinating tales of the worst people, places, and things on Earth for the reader&’s amusement and edification. Simply put, The World&’s Worst is hilariously unafraid to wallow in the mire. Horrible highlights lowlights include: *Most Unappealing Fetish *Most Disgusting Coffee Drink *Most Horrific Self-Help Technique *Least Adorable Pet *Saddest Fate for an Island Nation *Worst Molasses-Related Disaster, and more
The World's Worsts
by Les KrantzA hilarious collection of the lowest of the lows - from the worst generals to the dumbest dogs, the shortest Hollywood marriages to the most dangerous golf courses. The World's Worsts is the latest compendium of quirky information and vamped-up trivia from Pop Culture guru Les Krantz. This entertaining and utterly addictive reference taps into the dark side of human nature and the less-than-stellar and perhaps best forgotten moments in history. Drew Barrymore makes the Top-10 Shortest Celebrity Marriage list TWICE! #4 Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas - 19 days #7 Drew Barrymore and Tom Green - 5 months Worst Military Leaders #2 Philip VI of France (1293-1350) Lost 4000 (one-third of his force) to a mere 100 English soldiers in the Battle of Crécy The World's Dumbest Dogs #1 Afghan Hound #7 Beagle
The Worm Family Has Its Picture Taken
by Jennifer FrankWorms don't take good family photos, do they? Find out in this hilarious picture book from a Caldecott Honor illustrator and debut author about a young worm who comes to appreciate her very unusual family for who they are.Emma is excited for her worm family to have their portrait taken. But when she sees her other friends' portraits, she gets discouraged. "We had the most beautiful smiles," Ellie the Chipmunk squeals. Abigail the Cat meows, "I looked gorgeous with my big poufy hair." The worm family doesn't have teeth...how will they show their beautiful smiles? They don't have hair either...how can it look big and poufy?! So Emma gathers wigs, giant fake teeth, and colorful clothing for her parents and sisters. But it's only after taking off their costumes that the worm family is able to wriggle and squiggle and squeeze into a delightful pose that only a worm family can make. And Emma? She thinks it's perfectly perfect.
The Worm: The Disgusting Critters Series (Disgusting Critters)
by Elise GravelA hilarious illustrated non-fiction book about the worm, perfect for beginning readers. The humorous text and funny illustrations will give it trade appeal, while the non-fiction content is perfect for the institutional market. The second in a series of humorous books about disgusting creatures, The Worm is a look at the earthworm. It covers such topics as the worm's habitats (sometimes they live inside other animals), its anatomy (its muscle tube is slimy and gross), and its illustrious history (worms have been on earth for 120 million years). Although silly and off-the-wall, The Worm contains real information that will tie in with curriculum.
The Worshipful Lucia & Trouble for Lucia
by E. F. BensonE. F. Benson's beloved Mapp and Lucia novels are sparkling, classic comedies of manners set against the petty snobberies and competitive maneuverings of English village society in the 1920s and 1930s.The Worshipful Lucia (1935; published in the UK as Lucia's Progress) and Trouble for Lucia (1939) are the last two novels in Benson's series. They chronicle the ongoing battles of his famous characters--Mrs. Lucia Lucas and Miss Elizabeth Mapp--in the idyllic seaside village of Tilling, which proves too small to contain both of them. While both are hypocritical snobs, Lucia is animated by marvelous delusions of grandeur and Mapp by insatiable curiosity and chronic rage; their epic collisions rock their small society and provide the narrative engines for Benson's gloriously farcical masterpieces.
The Worst Best Man: A Novel
by Mia Sosa"A romantic comedy that's fun and flirty, young and fresh." – Popsugar (22 of the Best Books This Winter Has to Offer)One of Oprah Magazine's 21 Romance Novels That Are Set to Be the Best of 2020 and a LibraryReads Pick for FebruaryMia Sosa delivers a sassy, steamy #ownvoices enemies-to-lovers novel, perfect for fans of Jasmine Guillory, Helen Hoang, and Sally Thorne! A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn’t lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina’s offered an opportunity that could change her life. There’s just one hitch… she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he’ll be working with his brother’s whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him. If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they’ll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina’s ready to dish out a little payback of her own. Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn’t interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...
The Worst Best Man: a hilarious and spicy romantic comedy from the author of Things We Never got Over
by Lucy ScoreFrom Sunday Times and #1 New York Times bestselling author of Things We Never Got Over The bride is a doll. The groom is the perfect gentleman. But the rest of the wedding party are the stuff of nightmares.Rich? YesVapid? YesEntitled? YesAnd the Best Man? More like the Worst Man. But Maid of Honor Franchesca takes her duties seriously. There's no way she's going to let that pretentious, judgmental jackhole ruin her best friend's wedding. No matter how sexy he is . . .
The Worst Breakfast
by China Miéville Zak SmithPublishers Note: This is the flowable text e-book edition, optimized for e-ink readers that cannot support fixed layout e-books. If you have a tablet or software that can support fixed format e-books, please search for The Worst Breakfast: Fixed Layout Edition. The Fixed Layout e-book more closely resembles the illustrator's and author's design of the print book. This edition presents the text and images separately, on alternating pages.Named to Kirkus Reviews' Best Books of 2016!A Mississippi Clarion-Ledger best seller!"Miéville and Smith's dialogue is fantastic: witty, smart, with great rhythm that doesn't sacrifice artful turns of phrase to reach for an internal rhyme...Smith's artwork keeps pace with the text, which the artist sets into little rectangles to contrast with the jaggedly flamboyant paintings that get increasingly manic as the girl goes on, incorporating tentacles and pterodactyls as well as piled-high foodstuffs...This should be in the hands of all kids who aren't easily satiated by tamer picture books and who would engage with a real work of art that they can revisit over and over. None of the artwork is too gross to behold, even for the squeamish, but it does perfectly illustrate the culinary horrors the girl is trying to convey to her sister. A brilliant, original, infinitely rereadable book that can sit alongside Sendak and Dahl."--Kirkus Reviews, Starred review"Miéville lets it rip in this stomping, howling rant about a bad meal of legendary proportions . . . Punk artist Smith’s neatly framed dialogue boxes and crisp black contours have a buttoned-up look, but no: tentacles wave from inside bowls, monsters smile amid mountains of vile sausages, and a blue alien juggles cherry tomatoes. As the pages turn, the towers of bad food grow ever loftier. In the end, a simple tea strainer saves the sisters from another terrible meal. This one’s for families enamored of new words, exotic foods, and strong opinions."--Publishers Weekly"Miéville, known for his genre-defying fantasy novels for adults, makes a splash with his picture book debut. Smith’s illustrations, filled with geometric shapes and patterns, are the perfect complement to the text...This is a subversive delight."--School Library Journal"Deftly written by the exceptionally talented China Miéville and shockingly but gifted illustrated by Zak Smith, The Worst Breakfast is a unique picture book that will be enduringly popular . . . Very highly recommended."--Midwest Book Review"This is a child’s imagination come to life, where a good thing can be the greatest thing in existence and a minor inconvenience snowballs into the most horrendous, atrocious, appalling, not good, very bad meal you’ve ever had."--San Francisco Book Review"Imaginative and fun, The Worst Breakfast is perfect for any picky eater out there. A rhyming scheme and inventive text kept up the giggles and the pace. The text is best read aloud going along with all of the suggestions, with emphasis placed on capitalized words and pauses between syllables when they are spaced out. The illustrations are very different than what you typically see in children’s books; they are bright and fun, but edgier and begged to be looked at deeper. You can spend time on each page trying to find each food and a series of silly little monsters."--100 Pages a DayPart of Akashic's Black Sheep imprint.Two sisters sit down one morning and begin describing all of the really gross things that were in the worst breakfast they ever had, until all they can picture is a table piled sky-high with the weirdest, yuckiest, slimiest, slickest, stinkiest breakfast possible. And then they have the best breakfast ever...almost.
The Worst Call Ever!: The Most Infamous Calls Ever Blown by Referees, Umpires, and Other Blind Officials
by Kyle Garlett Patrick O'NealIn any sport, whenever an official takes the field, court, ice, ring, or pitch, they do so with a bright red bull's-eye on their backs. For even with their great accuracy and passion for the game, they do make errors—occasionally, great big fat ones—that change the tide of sports history.In The Worst Call Ever, keepers of truth and enlightenment, sportswriters Kyle Garlett and Patrick O'Neal, expose the most injurious mistakes and desecrations, document their lasting damage—which to some wronged parties has evolved into a condition akin to post-traumatic stress disorder—and hopefully become the soothing balm of reconciliation.Each piece details the play in question and examines the players and stakes involved, the scope of the injustice, and the path of change that was often its result. Garlett and O'Neal cover mishaps in all sports, from the four Major Leagues to golf and auto racing to even curling, in this fascinating look at the worst calls in sports history.
The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club
by Chrissie ManbyThe wonderful new novel from Chrissie Manby, perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley and Cathy Bramley. In the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz, determined to find love, has heard the old adage that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. John is newly widowed after fifty-seven years of marriage, facing a lifetime of cheese on toast. Twenty-two year old DeeDee has been drifting from one dead-end job to another. The only thing they have in common: between them, they can barely boil an egg!Enter charismatic chef Jack, determined to teach his pupils how to cook the meal of a lifetime. As Liz, John and DeeDee encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?(P)2017 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club: the perfect laugh-out-loud romantic comedy
by Chrissie Manby'Funny, warm and engaging; this year's must-read! 5****' By the Letter Book ReviewsIn the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz's husband has left her for a twenty-something clean-eating blogger, and she's determined to show the world - and her daughter - she's just as capable in the kitchen. John, newly widowed after fifty years of marriage, can't live on sympathy lasagnes forever. To thirty-year-old workaholic Bella, the course is a welcome escape from her high-pressure job. Their only common ground: between them, they can barely boil an egg! Enter talented chef Alex, who is determined to introduce his pupils to the comforts of cuisine. As Liz, John and Bella encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?The wonderful new novel from bestselling author Chrissie Manby is perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley, Cathy Bramley, and The Great British Bake Off.Praise for The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club:'A lovely book which brought a tear to my eye in places' - Broadbeansbooks'Heartwarming' - The Book Bag'Funny and emotional...a MUST READ this autumn' - On My Bookshelf'A very warm tale full of different kinds of love; just delicious!' - Netgalley Reviewer'If you want a funny, emotional read that will leave you wanting more then you need this book in your life!' - Goodreads'I loved this book... the perfect place to find a recipe for happiness!' - Goodreads'What an absolute joy to read...such a lovely story' - Goodreads'A winning recipe of a story... I devoured it from cover to cover!' - Goodreads 'Just the breath of fresh air that I needed... I could have kept reading for many more pages!' - Netgalley'I adored this hilarious book!' I Read Novels'Chrissie Manby has cooked up a fine tale' Cultural Wednesday'What a wonderfully lighthearted and uplifting novel, one I couldn't put down' - Bloglovin'An absolute joy to read - highly recommended for when you need a little pick-me-up!' - Brew and Book Reviews
The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club: the perfect laugh-out-loud romantic comedy
by Chrissie Manby'Funny, warm and engaging; this year's must-read! 5****' By the Letter Book ReviewsIn the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz's husband has left her for a twenty-something clean-eating blogger, and she's determined to show the world - and her daughter - she's just as capable in the kitchen. John, newly widowed after fifty years of marriage, can't live on sympathy lasagnes forever. To thirty-year-old workaholic Bella, the course is a welcome escape from her high-pressure job. Their only common ground: between them, they can barely boil an egg! Enter talented chef Alex, who is determined to introduce his pupils to the comforts of cuisine. As Liz, John and Bella encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?The wonderful new novel from bestselling author Chrissie Manby is perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley, Cathy Bramley, and The Great British Bake Off.Praise for The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club:'A lovely book which brought a tear to my eye in places' - Broadbeansbooks'Heartwarming' - The Book Bag'Funny and emotional...a MUST READ this autumn' - On My Bookshelf'A very warm tale full of different kinds of love; just delicious!' - Netgalley Reviewer'If you want a funny, emotional read that will leave you wanting more then you need this book in your life!' - Goodreads'I loved this book... the perfect place to find a recipe for happiness!' - Goodreads'What an absolute joy to read...such a lovely story' - Goodreads'A winning recipe of a story... I devoured it from cover to cover!' - Goodreads 'Just the breath of fresh air that I needed... I could have kept reading for many more pages!' - Netgalley'I adored this hilarious book!' I Read Novels'Chrissie Manby has cooked up a fine tale' Cultural Wednesday'What a wonderfully lighthearted and uplifting novel, one I couldn't put down' - Bloglovin'An absolute joy to read - highly recommended for when you need a little pick-me-up!' - Brew and Book Reviews
The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Junior Edition
by David Borgenicht Robin Epstein Justin HeimbergBraces. Bullies. Chores. Childhood is chock-full of perils-- but finally here's something to come to the rescue. The newest title in the phenomenally successful Worst-Case Scenario series provides kid-friendly, hands-on, step-by-step instructions for outwitting a nosy sibling, surviving a school dance, cleaning your room in a snap, dealing with an irritated parent (recognizing the tell-tale signs!), and more.
The Worst Class Trip Ever
by Dave Barry<P>In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. <P>Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them-but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. <P>In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop, the kids try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack-or maybe not.
The Worst Class Trip Ever (Class Trip #1)
by Dave BarryIn this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them -- but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop, the kids try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack-or maybe not.
The Worst Day Ever!: Aliens! Spaceships! Poo-scented air fresheners!
by James BishopA funny space adventure for fans of Charlie Changes into a Chicken and The Spy Who Loved School Dinners.Meet Mylan - an ordinary blue alien. He's travelling the universe, looking for someone having a bad day, to help them. Meet Chloe. She's just stubbed her toe. Now she's being followed by an alien. Her day can only get better, right? WRONG. Every bad day begins with a stubbed toe. Mylan Bletzleburger's research proves this. But even he couldn't predict how Chloe's day would escalate from a sore foot to the entire Earth being swallowed up.Can Mylan and Chloe save the planet? Will Mylan ever pilot a cool spaceship? And will Tanka Tanka Woo Woo, the Queen of the Universe, ever share her haircare secrets?Funny and packed with action and quirky aliens, this intergalactic adventure is out of this world!
The Worst Dudes
by Aubrey SittersonA dirty cop, a drugged-up back-up dancer, and an angsty adolescent god; the absolute worst dudes in the galaxy are on a raunch-filled hunt for a missing pop star.It's a hilarious, aggressively weird, willfully vulgar graphic novel detective story from noted reprobates Aubrey Sitterson (No One Left to Fight, The Comic Book Story of Professional Wrestling) and Tony Gregori (Deuce of Hearts, Karma Police). Collecting issues #1-5 of this raunchy, off-the-wall tale!
The Worst Gig
by Jon Niccum"WORST GIG is Music Appreciation 225, taught by that cool professor everyone wanted to have beers with after class. One fun nugget after another. It was harder to close than my Twitter app."--Matthew James, McSweeney's "Tawdry tales of concert catastrophes!"--Buzzfeed "Musicians' 'Worst Gig' makes for best read ever."--Salon What is the worst show you've ever played? Sometimes the worst shows inspire the best stories. After hundreds of interviews with national headliners and beloved indie acts alike, entertainment journalist Jon Niccum has crafted a collection that chronicles the most embarrassing, most hilarious and most insane live show moments ever. THE WORST GIG features outrageous stories from stars such as Wilco, Def Leppard, Tenacious D, Rush, John Mayer, and The Sex Pistols. Be it nature's wrath, equipment breakdowns or even military intervention, get the wild scoop on what really happened, straight from the artists themselves.
The Worst Girlfriend in the World
by Sarra ManningAlice Jenkins is the worst girlfriend in the world according to the many, many boys who've shimmied up lampposts and shoplifted from New Look to impress her, only to be dumped when she gets bored of them. Alice has a very low boredom threshold. But she never gets bored with Franny, her best friend since they met at nursery school. Friends are for ever. Ain't nothing going to come between them. Girls rule, boys drool is their motto. Well, it's Alice's motto, Franny doesn't have much time for boys; they're all totes immature and only interested in one thing. But then there's Louis Allen, lead singer of Thee Desperadoes, the best band in Merrycliffe-on-sea (though that could be because they're the only band in Merrycliffe-on-sea). He's a tousle-haired, skinny-jeaned, sultry-eyed manchild, the closest thing that Franny's ever seen to the hipsters that she's read about on the internet and she's been crushing on him HARD for the last three years. She's never worked up the courage to actually speak to him but she's sure on some deeper level that goes beyond mere words, Louis absolutely knows that she's his soulmate. He just doesn't know that he knows it yet. It's why he cops off with so many other girls. So, when Alice, bored with callow youths, sets her sights on Louis it threatens to tear the girls' friendship apart, even though they're better than fighting over a boy. They strike a devil's deal - may the best girl win. Best friends become bitter rivals and everything comes to an explosive conclusion on their first trip to London. Can true friendship conquer all?
The Worst Girlfriend in the World
by Sarra ManningAlice Jenkins is the worst girlfriend in the world according to the many, many boys who've shimmied up lampposts and shoplifted from New Look to impress her, only to be dumped when she gets bored of them. Alice has a very low boredom threshold.But she never gets bored with Franny, her best friend since they met at nursery school. Friends are for ever. Ain't nothing going to come between them. Girls rule, boys drool is their motto. Well, it's Alice's motto, Franny doesn't have much time for boys; they're all totes immature and only interested in one thing.But then there's Louis Allen, lead singer of Thee Desperadoes, the best band in Merrycliffe-on-sea (though that could be because they're the only band in Merrycliffe-on-sea). He's a tousle-haired, skinny-jeaned, sultry-eyed manchild, the closest thing that Franny's ever seen to the hipsters that she's read about on the internet and she's been crushing on him HARD for the last three years.She's never worked up the courage to actually speak to him but she's sure on some deeper level that goes beyond mere words, Louis absolutely knows that she's his soulmate. He just doesn't know that he knows it yet. It's why he cops off with so many other girls.So, when Alice, bored with callow youths, sets her sights on Louis it threatens to tear the girls' friendship apart, even though they're better than fighting over a boy. They strike a devil's deal - may the best girl win. Best friends become bitter rivals and everything comes to an explosive conclusion on their first trip to London.Can true friendship conquer all?
The Worst Mascot Ever (The Big Idea Gang)
by James PrellerFour friends put their heads together to convince their school to get a new mascot in The Big Idea Gang—an exciting new chapter book series about making a case . . . and making a difference! Quick-thinking third-graders Lizzy, her twin, Connor, and their friends Kym and Deon have a big idea: their school desperately needs a new mascot, and they've got the perfect one in mind. Now they have to figure out a way to convince their principal and rally the rest of the school behind them. Luckily, their teacher, Miss Zips (short for Zipsokowski—but who can say that?) is skilled in the art of persuasion. Armed with Miss Zips's persuasive tips, the gang of four set out to make their claim, build a case for a new mascot, and convince Clay Elementary that Arnold the Armadillo has had his day.
The Worst Night Ever (Class Trip #2)
by Dave BarryLast year, Wyatt Palmer was the hero of middle school, having foiled a plot against the president of the United States. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School -- home of the Fighting Conchs -- and Wyatt is no longer a hero: He's just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt's best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin's waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark and deadly secret. That's when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.
The Worst Night Ever (Class Trip Ser.)
by Dave Barry Grzegorz KrysinskiLast year, Wyatt Palmer was the hero of middle school, having foiled a plot against the president of the United States. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School-home of the Fighting Conchs-and Wyatt is no longer a hero: He's just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt's best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin's waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark and deadly secret. That's when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.
The Worst Noel
by Collected Authors Of The Worst NoelDoes the thought of mistletoe give you hives?Does the sound of jingling bellsinstill fear in your heart?Do you hide under the covers from the day after Thanksgiving till New Year's Day?And even if you love Christmas, do thehyperconsumerism, overindulgence, andtinsel-covered everything make you crazy?If you said yes to any of these questions, this is the book for you. You are not alone. Everyone has a Christmas-nightmare story to tell. Some of the best writers around have gone through some of the worst Christmases ever. Their tales of holly-draped horror are gathered here for your amusement, from NEAL POLLACK's Christmas-ham disaster to the accidental Santahood of JONI RODGERS to BINNIE KIRSHENBAUM's receiving what may be the worst gift ever given. And Stanley Bing gives us a peek at the lonely guy's Xmas feast. All this, plus many more recollections of Worst Noels past.So pour yourself a glass of eggnog, chisel off a piece of rock-hard fruitcake, and curl up in the big comfy chair by the fireplace where the stockings have been hung with such care -- and settle in to read The Worst Noel.