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There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Turkey!
by Lucille ColandroThe old lady is at it again, and this time she's swallowing a Turkey . . . she's always been quirky!The old lady is at it again, and this time she's swallowing a Turkey . . . she's always been quirky! You won't believe why this old lady swalloweda turkey, a ball, a hat, a balloon, a boat, some wheels, anda horn of plenty! Read this book and find out why!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Worm!
by Lucille ColandroCelebrate Earth Day with a twist on the classic song from the bestselling There Was an Old Lady series for kids! You’ll never guess what she’ll swallow next!There was an old lady who swallowed a worm.I don’t know why she swallowed the worm,but she started to squirm!The Old Lady is back and this time she's swallowing a worm, some dirt, a flower, a bee, a bird...and more! This Earth Day-themed twist on the classic rhyme will delight and entertain young readers, both old and new!Also in the There Was an Old Lady series:There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Dragon!There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Shell!There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed Some Leaves!and more!
There Was an Old Mermaid Who Swallowed a Shark! (Digital Read Along)
by Lucille ColandroScholastic's bestselling Old Lady stars in a brand-new adventure series for beginning readers chock-full of hilarious laughs and fun facts!There was an old mermaid who swallowed a shark. I don't know why she swallowed a shark, but it left no mark!Scholastic's bestselling Old Lady is starring in a brand-new adventure series that will make you laugh AND learn! In this new spin-off, the Old Lady turns into an Old Mermaid, travels down into the ocean, and swallows a shark. . . and a squid, and a fish, and an eel, and a crab, and a sea star, and a clam. . . Why? Well, it was fun to cram her mouth with a clam! Two new characters lead the reader through this hilarious adventure while exchanging some awesome facts about the creatures down under for a light take on nonfiction that's perfect for this age. With expanded sea creature back matter and a search-and-find game at the end, this Old Mermaid is making quite a splash!
There Was an Old Pirate Who Swallowed a Map!
by Lucille ColandroScholastic's bestselling Old Lady stars in a brand-new adventure series chock-full of hilarious laughs and fun facts!There was an old pirate who swallowed a map. I don't know why she swallowed a map -- ARGH! -- but it wasn't a trap!Scholastic's bestselling Old Lady is starring in a brand-new adventure series that will make you laugh AND learn! In this new spin-off, the Old Lady turns into an Old Pirate who travels across the seas, swallowing a map. . . and a rope, and a sword, and a spyglass, and an anchor, and a flag, and a treasure. . . Why? Well, it was a pleasure to swallow that treasure! Two new characters lead the reader through this hilarious adventure while exchanging some awesome facts about life on the open seas for a light take on nonfiction that's perfect for this age. With expanded back matter about life on a ship and a search-and-find game at the end, this Old Pirate definitely has sea legs!
There Was an Old Pirate Who Swallowed a Map! (There Was An Old Lad Ser.)
by Lucille ColandroScholastic's bestselling OLD LADY stars in a brand-new adventure series chock-full of hilarious laughs and fun facts!There was an old pirate who swallowed a map. I don't know why she swallowed a map -- ARGH! -- but it wasn't a trap!Scholastic's bestselling OLD LADY is starring in a brand-new adventure series that will make you laugh AND learn! In this new spin-off, the OLD LADY turns into an OLD PIRATE who travels across the seas, swallowing a map . . . and a rope, and a sword, and a spyglass, and an anchor, and a flag, and a treasure. . . Why? Well, it was a pleasure to swallow that treasure! Two new characters lead the reader through this hilarious adventure while exchanging some awesome facts about life on the open seas for a light take on nonfiction that's perfect for this age. With expanded back matter about life on a ship and a search-and-find game at the end, this OLD PIRATE definitely has sea legs!
There Was an Old Scientist Who Swallowed a Dinosaur!
by Lucille ColandroYou won't believe why the Old Scientist swallowed a dinosaur, a fern, a rock, a pick, a dustpan, a sifting screen, a pen, and a magnifying glass!There was an old scientist who swallowed a dinosaur. I don't know why she swallowed a dinosaur but she needed to explore.Filled with hilarious illustrations, fun rhyming text, and real facts about dinosaurs, this is the latest book in the bestselling Old Lady series that's perfect for young readers.
There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Book
by Jomike TejidoThe True Story of the 3 Little Pigs meets There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly in this clever, irreverent update of our most beloved children's classics. The little old woman who lives in a book has lost her children! But instead of sitting around and waiting for them to show up, in a refreshingly empowering, feminist take on the classic tale, she departs on a mission to find her kids herself--even if it means popping into every other fairy tale and nursery rhyme in town! She'll enlist the help of Humpty Dumpty, Jack and his beanstalk, Princess Beauty, the Three Bears, and more familiar characters in her quest to rescue her kids. This silly, irreverent picture book is a clever jaunt through our most beloved children's stories--and it's sure to become the next modern day classic.
There You Are, Doctor! (The Dr Clifford Chronicles)
by Dr Robert CliffordAs charming as he is entertaining, Dr Robert Clifford dispenses a delightful dose of hilarious anecdotes, colourful portraits of patients, family and friends, tempered with heartwarming tales of human courage and tragedy.There's the eccentric hermit Hamish Richardson; the stubborn Romany Zackovitch Hebden; Miss Peabody, the elderly spinster ever hopeful of a pools win; and William Jessop, the blind man whose handicap obviously isn't a handicap! As well as stories from his Tadchester surgery, Dr Robert Clifford tells of his son's accident on Sark and there are more fishy tales with water bailiff John Denton and a sparkling of delightful descriptions of holidays at home and abroad.Doctor, family man, humourist, philosopher and counsellor, Dr Robert Clifford's stories are a tonic for us all.
There's Always Plan B
by Susan MalleryFrom a #1 New York Times bestseller, “the master of blending emotionally believable characters in realistic situations,” a story about starting over (Library Journal).Carly Spencer is almost forty, and her life hasn’t exactly gone as planned. Weeks away from her big birthday, she finds herself on the brink of divorce—from a husband whose need to “find himself” apparently involves leaving his family and his job so he can sail to Hawaii—and on her way back to her childhood home with her smart-mouthed teenaged daughter, Tiffany, in tow. At least her hometown can offer her the serenity of the ocean.Chatsworth-by-the-Sea, a sprawling B&B on the rugged northern California coast, is where Carly grew up. Now that life has thrown her a massive curveball, she’s decided to help her widowed mother, Rhonda, run the place. But between Tiffany’s teenage angst and Rhonda’s incessant nagging, Carly’s homecoming proves to be anything but peaceful. And when she decides to use the rumors that Chatsworth is haunted to drive new business, she winds up with a real-life ghost hunter as a guest. A stunningly attractive ghost hunter, who seems just as interested in Carly as her haunted house . . . “Mallery is an expert at writing about strong women, their friendships, and their romances.” —Booklist“Susan Mallery never disappoints.” —Debbie Macomber, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Best is Yet to Come
There's Cake in My Future: A Novel (There's Cake In My Future Ser. #1)
by Kim Gruenenfelder"The latest romantic comedy from the author of A Total Waste of Makeup (2005) is funny and clever." - BooklistAfter listening to her closest friends' latest travails in love, parenting, and careers, superstitious bride-to-be Nicole (Nic) believes she has the perfect recipe for everyone's happiness: a bridal shower "cake pull" in which each ribboned silver charm planted in her cake will bring its recipient the magical assistance she needs to change her destiny. Melissa (Mel), still ringless after dating the same man for six years, deserves the engagement ring charm. The red hot chili pepper would be perfect for Seema, who is in love with her best male friend Scott, but can't seem to make their relationship more than platonic. And recently laid off journalist Nic wants the shovel, which symbolizes hard work, to help her get her career back on track. Nic does everything she can to control who gets which silver keepsake – as well as the future it represents. But when the charmed cake is mysteriously shifted from the place settings Nic arranged around it, no one gets the charm she chose for them. And when the other party guests' fortunes begin coming true, Mel, Seema, and Nic can't help but wonder…. Is the cake trying to tell them something?
There's Corpses Everywhere: Yet Another Lio Collection (Lio Ser. #4)
by Mark TatulliThrough the age-old style of pantomime strips, Tatulli's Liō offers a decidedly new and edgy twist to the wordless comic format. That's right—Liō is so crafty it doesn't need word balloons, dialogue boxes, or copious captions. Employing a unique drawing style influenced by cartooning greats Gahan Wilson, Charles Addams, and 19th-century satirist A. J. Volck, Tatulli's cartoon creation is completely nonsyllabic but dramatic nonetheless, and was awarded as 2009's Best Newspaper Comic Strip by the National Cartoonists Society. The result of Tatulli's creativity is a mind-bending, comical, and astute journey into the darkly detailed world of spiky-haired Liō, a curious young scientist and comic book fan whose daydreams embark from the dark chasm where wit and sarcasm collide. Defender of the defenseless and the inventor of a legion of zombie bunnies, Liō is joined in his day-to-day exploits by his exasperated and sleep-deprived father, a pet snake named Frank, a squid named Ishmael, and various imaginary robots and creepy, crawly monsters. Within this humorously macabre framework of sarcasm, parody, and high jinx, sidesplitting laughter abounds—all without so much as a word.
There's Corpses Everywhere: Yet Another Lio Collection (Lio Ser. #4)
by Mark TatulliThrough the age-old style of pantomime strips, Tatulli's Liō offers a decidedly new and edgy twist to the wordless comic format. That's right—Liō is so crafty it doesn't need word balloons, dialogue boxes, or copious captions. Employing a unique drawing style influenced by cartooning greats Gahan Wilson, Charles Addams, and 19th-century satirist A. J. Volck, Tatulli's cartoon creation is completely nonsyllabic but dramatic nonetheless, and was awarded as 2009's Best Newspaper Comic Strip by the National Cartoonists Society. The result of Tatulli's creativity is a mind-bending, comical, and astute journey into the darkly detailed world of spiky-haired Liō, a curious young scientist and comic book fan whose daydreams embark from the dark chasm where wit and sarcasm collide. Defender of the defenseless and the inventor of a legion of zombie bunnies, Liō is joined in his day-to-day exploits by his exasperated and sleep-deprived father, a pet snake named Frank, a squid named Ishmael, and various imaginary robots and creepy, crawly monsters. Within this humorously macabre framework of sarcasm, parody, and high jinx, sidesplitting laughter abounds—all without so much as a word.
There's Just One Problem...: True Tales from the Former, One-Time, 7th Most Powerful Person in WWE
by Brian GewirtzFormer WWE head writer Brian Gewirtz brings readers behind the scenes for an unprecedented look at the chaotic, surreal, unbelievable backstage world of the WWE.With untold stories from a career spanning over 15 years and featuring the biggest names and controversial moments in wrestling history, THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM is an honest, unflinching look on how an introverted life-long fan unexpectedly became one the most powerful men in all of professional wrestling.For decades wrestling was shrouded in secrecy. It had larger than life personalities, bone crunching physicality and jaw-dropping theatrics but backstage it was an industry devoid of outsiders. Then in 1999, after working together on a special for MTV, Dwayne &“The Rock&” Johnson turned to 26-year old television writer Brian Gewirtz and asked &“You ever consider writing for WWE?&” That question, and its answer, would have a profound effect on both of their lives for years to come.THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM is a story about perseverance, tenacity, and steel chairs. Most writers in the WWE last for a matter of months; Gewirtz was there for over 15 years, writing some of most memorable and infamous storylines in WWE history (covering the &“Attitude Era&”, the &“Ruthless Aggression Era&” and into the &“PG&” and &“Reality&” eras). Throughout this journey Gewirtz found himself becoming both friend and antagonist to some of the biggest names in WWE history – Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena, Stephanie McMahon, Bill Goldberg, Paul Heyman, Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, and the two men who he worked the most closely with WWE Chairman Vince McMahon and Dwayne &“The Rock&” Johnson. These men not only shaped his life professionally but also personally, forcing him to grow and change both as a writer and a human being. So how does a lifelong fan and outsider break through to become the ultimate insider? How does a low-key personality deal directly with his boss, the most brash, unpredictable &“alpha male&” on the planet, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon? How does one gain respect in a locker room that wants nothing more than to see him disappear? Where does one go when every year in wrestling takes you further away from the writing career you always wanted? Taking advice from his idol, the late &“Rowdy&” Roddy Piper, when you&’re so full of fear, there&’s only one way to push through: become fearless.
There's No Ham in Hamburgers: Facts and Folklore About Our Favorite Foods
by Kim ZachmanFrom hot dogs and hamburgers to ice cream and pizza, this fascinating book is full of fun facts and stories of the origins of some of America's most popular foods.Why is there no ham in hamburgers? How did we make ice cream before we could make ice? How did hot dogs get their name? From the origins of pizza (which got a big boost from Clarence Birdseye, of all people) to the Cornell professor who invented chicken fingers, There's No Ham in Hamburgers has all the ingredients for an entertaining and educational middle-grade read. Packed with informative sidebars, recipes, and experiments, along with fabulously funny illustrations by Peter Donnelly, this book is a reading recipe that kids will sink their teeth into!
There's No I in Office
by Paul Koehorst Jacob Lentz"This is the Michael Jordan of books." -Adam Carolla"Completely and totally unwittingly, Paul Koehorst and Jacob Lentz have written perhaps the most important new business book since Who Moved My Cheese?" -Jim Cramer, Mad Money with Jim CramerLike 'em, hate 'em or simply too busy to deal with 'em, you're going to end up face to face with 'em in the elevator, at the water cooler and around every cubicle: friendly, talkative coworkers. Ignore them and they'll think you're conceited and make your job miserable. Talk to them and you'll waste valuable time or even worse-end up in a burdensome friendship.The ultimate business book parody, There's No I in Office provides a solution to this conundrum of office politics so brilliant that it's just stupid enough to actually work. Packed with meaningless things to say in any work situation, these 4293 clever little phrases will amuse your coworkers without starting a real conversation. It's your ticket to becoming a beloved stranger to everyone in the office.
There's No Such Thing As...Mermaids
by Lucy RowlandThere's no such thing as mermaids... right?When a little girl is told by her sister that mermaids aren't real, she doesn't believe it for a second. To prove her sister wrong, she makes a list of places to search and sets off to prove her wrong.From the lake to the park to the beach, she looks for mermaids everywhere. Could her sister be right? Or are mermaids hiding just out of sight?With an engaging search-and-find element on every page, this hilarious story is packed full of fun for kids to enjoy. The bouncy, rhyming text makes for the perfect read-aloud and Katy Halford's adorable art gives kids plenty to explore.A hilarious new mythical tale that's sure to become a family favorite!
There's No Such Thing as...Unicorns / No hay tal cosa como los... unicornios (Bilingual)
by Lucy RowlandThere's no such thing as unicorns... right?Un chico le dice a su hermanita que los unicornios no existen, pero ella no se lo cree ni por un segundo y se dispone a demostrar que su hermano está equivocado. La niña va buscando unicornios por todas partes, desde la granja hasta el parque y la playa. ¿Será que su hermano tiene razón o hay un unicornio escondido a la vuelta de la esquina? Esta divertida historia, con un atractivo elemento de búsqueda en cada página, está repleta de diversión para los niños. El texto en rima, lleno de vitalidad, es perfecto para leer en voz alta, y el adorable arte de Katy Halford ofrece a los niños mucho que explorar.When a little girl is told by her brother that unicorns don't exist, she doesn't believe it for a second. She sets off to prove her brother wrong. From the farm to the park to the beach, she looks for unicorns everywhere. Could her brother be right? Or is a unicorn hiding right around the corner? With an engaging search and find element on every page, this hilarious story is packed full of fun for kids to enjoy. The bouncy, rhyming text makes for the perfect read-aloud and Katy Halford's adorable art gives kids plenty to explore.
There's No Way I'd Die First
by Lisa SpringerA spine-tingling contemporary horror-comedy novel that follows a scary-movie buff as she hosts an elaborate Halloween bash but soon finds the festivities upended when she and her guests are forced to test their survival skills in a deadly game, from debut author Lisa Springer.Seventeen-year-old Noelle Layne knows horror. Every trope, every warning sign, every survival tactic. She even leads a successful movie club dedicated to the genre. Who better to throw the ultimate, most exclusive Halloween party on all of Long Island?With some of the top influencers in her school on the guest list, including gorgeous singer-songwriter Archer Mitchell, her popularity is bound to spike. She could really use the social boost for an upcoming brand expansion. Nothing is going to ruin this party.Except…maybe the low budget It clown she hired for a stirring round of tag. He axes one of her classmates. From the looks of his devilish grin and bag full of killer tricks, he's just getting started.A murderous clown is out for blood, but Noelle has been waiting her entire life to prove that she&’s a Final Girl.
There's No WiFi on the Prairie
by Nicholas O. TimeAva learns to live without technology when she travels back in time to 1891 in this wacky fifth book in the In Due Time series.When Ava Larsen gets the chance to travel back in time, she knows exactly where she wants to go—back to 1991, when her mom had a chance to move to Hollywood. Ava is sure if she lived in Hollywood, she could be a star! But when the time-traveling Book of Memories sends her back to 1891 instead, it’s less of a dream and more of a nightmare. No Internet, no texting, and how will she ever survive without her video games and reality TV shows? Ava is not the type of girl to “rough it”—she needs to get back to the present, and fast! But maybe a little time in this distant past is exactly what Ava needs to learn to be more present in the future...
There's Nothing Wrong with Her
by Kate Weinberg"Beautiful." —Sarah Jessica Parker"The best thing you'll read this year." —Kiley Reid, author of Such a Fun AgeA raw, tenderly comic, and perfectly off-kilter novel about a woman who occasionally finds herself in "The Pit&”—a delirious state of semiconsciousness—and the improbable, sometimes imagined people who meet her there.Vita Woods is on the brink. She produces a popular podcast and lives with her successful doctor boyfriend, Max, with whom the sex is great and the future promising. Her brilliant if unreliable sister, Gracie, is her best friend and sparring partner. And her steadfast goldfish, Whitney Houston, brightens even her dimmest days. But as much as things are going right, the days are dark. Vita is not leaving the house. In fact, she can barely make it out of bed.Instead, she spends long, blurred hours falling in and out of The Pit, dead to the world and to herself. For months, Vita has been sick with an illness that no doctor, not even Max, can diagnose. And recently, Luigi, a Renaissance poet nursing a 500-year-old heartbreak, has started showing up at her bedside, bringing snacks and unsolicited romantic advice. He says he&’s come to release her. The issue is: he may be a ghost, an apparition of her sickly mind.Then, when an unexpected mix-up pushes her into the path of her upstairs neighbors, Vita finds friendship—and perhaps more—in the apartment above. But something about her "condition" keeps nagging at her. What if the problem is Vita herself? Because as far as anyone can prove . . . there&’s nothing wrong with her.
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
by Paula PoundstonePaula Poundstone takes a humorous look at history and other things
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
by Paula PoundstonePart memoir, part monologue, with a dash of startling honesty, There’s Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say features biographies of legendary historical figures from which Paula Poundstone can’t help digressing to tell her own story. Mining gold from the lives of Abraham Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and Beethoven, among others, the eccentric and utterly inimitable mind of Paula Poundstone dissects, observes, and comments on the successes and failures of her own life with surprising candor and spot-on comedic timing in this unique laugh-out-loud book.If you like Paula Poundstone’s ironic and blindingly intelligent humor, you’ll love this wryly observant, funny, and touching book.Paula Poundstone on . . .The sources of her self-esteem: “A couple of years ago I was reunited with a guy I knew in the fifth grade. He said, “All the other fifth-grade guys liked the pretty girls, but I liked you.” It’s hard to know if a guy is sincere when he lays it on that thick.The battle between fatigue and informed citizenship: I play a videotape of The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer every night, but sometimes I only get as far as the theme song (da da-da-da da-ah) before I fall asleep. Sometimes as soon as Margaret Warner says whether or not Jim Lehrer is on vacation I drift right off. Somehow just knowing he’s well comforts me.The occult: I need to know exactly what day I’m gonna die so that I don’t bother putting away leftovers the night before.TV’s misplaced priorities: Someday in the midst of the State of the Union address they’ll break in with, “We interrupt this program to bring you a little clip from Bewitched.”Travel: In London I went to the queen’s house. I went as a tourist—she didn’t invite me so she could pick my brain: “What do you think of my face on the pound? Too serious?”Air-conditioning in Florida: If it were as cold outside in the winter as they make it inside in the summer, they’d put the heat on. It makes no sense.The scandal: The judge said I was the best probationer he ever had. Talk about proud.With a foreword by Mary Tyler Moore
There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road Except Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos
by Jim HightowerA radio commentator and former Texas commissioner of agriculture offers his no-holds-barred, populist views on American politics and culture, showing how the government, the media, and large corporations have foreclosed on the American dream."
There's Something about Merry (Mistletoe Romance #2)
by Codi Hall"Codi Hall brings all the feels."—Monica Murphy, New York Times bestselling authorCurl up this Christmas with a fun, festive romcom full of Christmas tree farm shenanigans and a romance between an outdoorsy single dad and the kind, ambitious, Christmas-loving neighbor he can't stop thinking about.A guarded single dad. A woman scared to love. Clark Griffin and Merry Winters are determined to be friends and nothing more. But they've been anonymously flirting with each other online, and with a little Christmas magic and the help of a precocious kid, these two might just get their one wish this year."A fun, engaging, and romantic read that is perfect for Christmastime!" —The Nerd Daily for Nick and Noel's Christmas Playlist
There's Something about Sweetie: When Dimple Met Rishi; There's Something About Sweetie; 10 Things I Hate About Pinky
by Sandhya MenonAn NPR Favorite Book of 2019 &“Adorable, joyous.&” —BuzzFeed &“I&’m head-over-heels for this charming, funny, romantic, life-affirming book.&” —Becky Albertalli, New York Times bestselling author of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and Leah on the Offbeat The irresistible companion novel to the New York Times bestseller When Dimple Met Rishi, which follows Rishi&’s brother, Ashish, and a confident, self-proclaimed fat athlete named Sweetie as they both discover what love means to them.Ashish Patel didn&’t know love could be so…sucky. After being dumped by his ex-girlfriend, his mojo goes AWOL. Even worse, his parents are annoyingly, smugly confident they could find him a better match. So, in a moment of weakness, Ash challenges them to set him up. The Patels insist that Ashish date an Indian-American girl—under contract. Per subclause 1(a), he&’ll be taking his date on &“fun&” excursions like visiting the Hindu temple and his eccentric Gita Auntie. Kill him now. How is this ever going to work? Sweetie Nair is many things: a formidable track athlete who can outrun most people in California, a loyal friend, a shower-singing champion. Oh, and she&’s also fat. To Sweetie&’s traditional parents, this last detail is the kiss of death. Sweetie loves her parents, but she&’s so tired of being told she&’s lacking because she&’s fat. She decides it&’s time to kick off the Sassy Sweetie Project, where she&’ll show the world (and herself) what she&’s really made of. Ashish and Sweetie both have something to prove. But with each date they realize there&’s an unexpected magic growing between them. Can they find their true selves without losing each other?