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The Very Best of Fesshole: Britain confesses anonymously
by Rob Manuel'Puerile, reprehensible and very, very funny' Adam Kay'I love Fesshole. Every single one is a masterclass in storytelling' Jay Rayner'Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like' David Schneider'The wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers!' Richard K Herring It's confession time, folks! Things have been building up inside of you for too long. Secrets you thought you'd never share with another soul are bubbling to the surface begging for release.And where better to let it all out (/laugh at someone else's misfortune) than on the internet.Fesshole is a Twitter account (@fesshole) which allows people to anonymously confess their innermost thoughts, deepest, darkest secrets, and their most outrageously funny faux pas - but will the online world absolve you of your sins?This book contains the greatest confessions to date, and a whole heap of new ones.After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?
The Very Best of Fesshole: The New Fesstament
by Rob Manuel'A ridiculously reliable source of joy, shock and horror' - James O'Brien 'I sometimes read one of those fesses and wonder if I submitted it myself the night before, after a few beers' - James May The anonymous voices of the internet are back, ready to spill their deepest, darkest secrets and side-splitting faux pas.In this eagerly anticipated second coming, Rob Manuel has once again compiled the most jaw-dropping, knee-slapping, and cringe-inducing confessions out there.Prepare to immerse yourself in the seedy underbelly of human nature, where no secret is too taboo, no embarrassment is left unexplored, and laughter knows no bounds. Once again, the online world becomes an unexpected arena of collective catharsis, and this riotous read is an addictive deep dive into our shared guilt.This must have book contains favourite viral confessions, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?
The Very Bloody History Of Britain, 2: The Last Bit!
by John FarmanJohn Farman makes history hysterical in this must-have companion volume to the best-selling THE VERY BLOODY HISTORY OF BRITAIN: THE FIRST BIT!It's the wittiest and wackiest chronicle of modern British history you'll find - ranging from post-war rationing, through the glut of the Thatcher yuppy years to the new millenium.
The Very British Problems Christmas Quiz Book: 600+ fiendishly festive questions (Knowledge quizzes)
by Rob TempleThe perfect quiz book to get you in the Christmassy mood, to play at the office Christmas lunch or to pop into a stocking.In Britain, it's estimated that 800 million of what traditional Christmas treat are eaten each year?Which actor gives the voiceover at the beginning of Love Actually?True or False: Queen Elizabeth II wore a Santa hat for her 1996 Christmas Day televised speech.We Brits can't get enough of a quiz - and never has this been more true at Christmastime. So if you're stumped for office party small talk, trying to make it through Christmas dinner with the in-laws, or simply a quiz connoisseur after puzzles with some festive flair, you can't go wrong with the VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS CHRISTMAS QUIZ BOOK. Inside you'll find all sorts of tickly teasers, complex conundrums, worrisome word searches and much more on topics ranging from nostalgic Christmas adverts and beloved TV specials to toys through the ages and everyone's favourite holiday snacks. Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and a mince pie.***Praise for Very British Problems'Had us guffawing into our Earl Grey tea' Bella'My favourite twitter account at the moment is Very British Problems (@soverybritish) . . . it makes me laugh out loud' Tom Hiddleston'Hilarious' Daily Express'Temple pays affectionate and comic homage to the sheer quirkiness of being British' Good Book Guide
The Very British Problems Christmas Quiz Book: 600+ fiendishly festive questions (Knowledge quizzes)
by Rob TempleThe perfect quiz book to get you in the Christmassy mood, to play at the office Christmas lunch or to pop into a stocking.In Britain, it's estimated that 800 million of what traditional Christmas treat are eaten each year?Which actor gives the voiceover at the beginning of Love Actually?True or False: Queen Elizabeth II wore a Santa hat for her 1996 Christmas Day televised speech.We Brits can't get enough of a quiz - and never has this been more true at Christmastime. So if you're stumped for office party small talk, trying to make it through Christmas dinner with the in-laws, or simply a quiz connoisseur after puzzles with some festive flair, you can't go wrong with the VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS CHRISTMAS QUIZ BOOK. Inside you'll find all sorts of tickly teasers, complex conundrums, worrisome word searches and much more on topics ranging from nostalgic Christmas adverts and beloved TV specials to toys through the ages and everyone's favourite holiday snacks. Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and a mince pie.***Praise for Very British Problems'Had us guffawing into our Earl Grey tea' Bella'My favourite twitter account at the moment is Very British Problems (@soverybritish) . . . it makes me laugh out loud' Tom Hiddleston'Hilarious' Daily Express'Temple pays affectionate and comic homage to the sheer quirkiness of being British' Good Book Guide
The Very British Problems Quiz Book
by Rob TempleWhat does 'custard and jelly' mean in cockney rhyming slang?Which biscuit has half of its name on top of the cooker and the other half on the door?And 25 million of what drink are served by British Airways each year?We Brits can't get enough of a quiz. Stumped for office party chit-chat? Quiz. Midweek visit to the pub? Quiz. Stuck inside in pyjamas on a rainy night and in the mood to cause a big family argument? You got it - quiz.This book is correspondingly filled with questions on all things wonderfully and unequivocally British - you'll find all sorts of tickly teasers, complex conundrums, worrisome word searches and much more on topics ranging from our iconic weather to types of cake. Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and your favourite biscuit(s).***ANSWERS: Telly, Hobnob, buy the book and find out!***Praise for Very British Problems'Had us guffawing into our Earl Grey tea' Bella'My favourite twitter account at the moment is Very British Problems (@soverybritish) . . . it makes me laugh out loud' Tom Hiddleston'Hilarious' Daily Express'Temple pays affectionate and comic homage to the sheer quirkiness of being British' Good Book Guide
The Very British Problems Quiz Book
by Rob TempleWhat does 'custard and jelly' mean in cockney rhyming slang?Which biscuit has half of its name on top of the cooker and the other half on the door?And 25 million of what drink are served by British Airways each year?We Brits can't get enough of a quiz. Stumped for office party chit-chat? Quiz. Midweek visit to the pub? Quiz. Stuck inside in pyjamas on a rainy night and in the mood to cause a big family argument? You got it - quiz.This book is correspondingly filled with questions on all things wonderfully and unequivocally British - you'll find all sorts of tickly teasers, complex conundrums, worrisome word searches and much more on topics ranging from our iconic weather to types of cake. Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and your favourite biscuit(s).***ANSWERS: Telly, Hobnob, buy the book and find out!***Praise for Very British Problems'Had us guffawing into our Earl Grey tea' Bella'My favourite twitter account at the moment is Very British Problems (@soverybritish) . . . it makes me laugh out loud' Tom Hiddleston'Hilarious' Daily Express'Temple pays affectionate and comic homage to the sheer quirkiness of being British' Good Book Guide
The Very British Quiz Book: How d’you make a proper cup of tea? (and 720 other essential questions)
by Geoff TibballsWill you be flummoxed by this Great British distraction?Do you know queuing etiquette? Twenty-one different ways to describe rain? Then this quiz book might be just your cup of tea.Politely challenge yourself, your family and your friends with questions on British culture, language, etiquette, of course, the weather, as well as lots of other essential, quintessential British subjects. Each quiz comprises 21 questions and answers are based on the real results from national surveys and polls. Hours of brain-bamboozling fun for all the family!
The Very Fairy Princess
by Julie Andrews Emma Walton Hamilton Christine DavenierWhile her friends and family may not believe in fairies, Geraldine knows, deep down, that she is a VERY fairy princess. From morning to night, Gerry does everything that fairy princesses do: she dresses in her royal attire, practices her flying skills, and she is always on the lookout for problems to solve. But it isn't all twirls and tiaras - as every fairy princess knows, dirty fingernails and scabby knees are just the price you pay for a perfect day! This new picture book addition to the Julie Andrews Collection features the joyful illustrations of Christine Davenier, and is sure to inspire that sparkly feeling within the hearts of readers young and old.
The Very Hungover Caterpillar: A Parody
by Emlyn Rees'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original.' IndependentIn the gloom of the room, a fully dressed man lies on the sofa. The next morning, the TV comes on and - ugh! - ! up lurches a thirsty and very hungover caterpillar. From the bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt, comes another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book. This time, we follow the quest of one man as he attempts to shake off his hangover, through eating whatever he can get his hands on, and annoying his family in the process. The perfect book for anyone who fondly remembers the original, but has now grown up and knows all too well just how painful hungover days can be . . .
The Very Hungry Parasite: It's Not What You're Eating, It's What's Eating You
by Josh MillerDiscover the incredible, disturbing world of diseases and parasites in this faux children’s book for adults—a bathroom reader to die for.Your time on the toilet will never be the same when the colorful facts and stomach-churning trivia in this illustrated bathroom reader begin to scare the crap right out of you, including:• The uniquely powerful diarrhea of Minnesota• How a common STD can turn you into a disfigured walking tree• The brain-eating amoeba that could be swimming in your pool• How much mucus your body produces• An untreatable disease that creates real-life zombies (with sex addictions)• How a sexy fad nearly eradicated an entire species of lice
The Very Hungry Plant
by Renato MoriconiOne morning, a beautiful plant sprouts out of the ground, and it is very, very hungry. But water and sunlight aren&’t the only things this plant craves: it&’s a carnivore! The plant gobbles up everything in its path, from caterpillars to geckos to spaceships. But the plant isn&’t the only one who&’s hungry… With humorous nods to Eric Carle, The Very Hungry Plant is another imaginative adventure from the author-illustrator of The Little Barbarian. Playful, energetic paintings and a dash of absurdity create a story sure to spark laughter with every reading.
The Very Hungry Zombie: A Parody
by Michael Teitelbaum Jon AppleIn this dead-on parody of a children's classic, a very hungry zombie eats his way through a variety of his favorite foods, including clowns, astronauts, rock stars, fingers, and brains. With vivid, playful art and amusing text, The Very Hungry Zombie will appeal to picture-book lovers of all ages. Adults will catch its slightly demented humor. Older kids who grew up on classic board books will love the fun of the parody. And because the art leans toward humor rather than truly graphic grossness, a new generation of little ones may just grow up loving a creepy zombie whose gluttony earns him a bellyache.Beware! This equal opportunity ghoulish gourmand would just love to have you for dinner!
The Very Last List of Vivian Walker
by Megan Albany'This novel has humour and pathos in spades - I laughed and cried' CINDY MACDONALD, The Saturday PaperVivian Walker is dying. This is not on her list of things to do. A darkly funny debut that proves even the most imperfect of lives is worth celebrating.Now that I've got cancer, I know I should be letting go and just being in the moment with my child but, seriously, what mother has got time to spend with their kids?Vivian Walker's life is exceptionally ordinary. Average husband, check. Darling son, check. Refrigerator in a state of permanent disarray, check. Everything is thoroughly and frustratingly routine, even being terminally ill.After receiving her diagnosis, Viv's family won't let her lift a finger . . . for at least a week. But once the novelty wears off, she's lucky to get a cup of tea for her trouble. In preparation for D-day, self-professed control freak Viv has made a list of essential things to do, such as decluttering the playroom and preparing her taxes. She doesn't expect to become spiritually enlightened or have any outlandish last-minute successes. All she wants is to finish her unfinished business.As her final days unfold, Viv realises her life has become a love letter to the mundane but she still manages to keep her wicked sense of humour and cynical take on life unapologetically intact. The Very Last List of Vivian Walker will make you ugly cry, snort tea out your nose with laughter and want to embrace humanity in all its selfishness, beauty and awkwardness.'Compelling. Beautifully relatable. [A] touching story that provides insight into how even the most ordinary person can leave a lot of love behind' Books + Publishing
The Very Merry Poop Christmas
by Samantha BergerFrom Samantha Berger and illustrator Manny Galán, creators of The Great Big Poop Party, comes a hilarious holiday picture book that follows Santa Claus as he reluctantly accepts that Christmas could use a little poop.It's December, and you know what that means: Christmas is coming! But this year, the North Pole is in for a surprise. Never in the history of this most joyous of holidays has poop been so popular . . . and children from all over have poop-ified their wish lists.When the news reaches Santa Claus, he declares Christmas has officially gone down the toilet! But with a bit of convincing—and a strategically placed whoopie cushion—from Mrs. Claus and the rest of the North Pole crew, maybe Santa will understand that Christmas is a time for peace, joy, and love, but also for laughter.The Very Merry Poop Christmas is the pitch-perfect, potty-humor-filled follow-up to kid favorite The Great Big Poop Party, just in time for the holidays!
The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1: Magic Marks the Spot
by Caroline CarlsonPirates Magic Treasure A gargoyle? Caroline Carlsons hilarious tween novel The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1: Magic Marks the Spot is perfect for fans of Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events and Trenton Lee Stewarts Mysterious Benedict Society. Hilary Westfield has always dreamed of being a pirate. She can tread water for thirty-seven minutes. She can tie a knot faster than a fleet of sailors, and she already owns a rather pointy sword. Theres only one problem: The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates refuses to let any girl join their ranks of scourges and scallywags. But Hilary is not the kind of girl to take no for answer. To escape a life of petticoats and politeness at her stuffy finishing school, Hilary sets out in search of her own seaworthy adventure, where she gets swept up in a madcap quest involving a map without an X, a magical treasure that likely doesnt exist, a talking gargoyle, a crew of misfit scallywags, and the most treacherous--and unexpected--villain on the High Seas. Written with uproarious wit and an inviting storyteller tone, the first book in Caroline Carlsons quirky seafaring series is a piratical tale like no other.
The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #2: The Terror of the Southlands
by Caroline Carlson Dave PhillipsMore pirates, more magic, and more adventure in the second book of the Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates series! Caroline Carlson brings the unceasing wit, humor, and fun of the first book in the series, Magic Marks the Spot, to this epic sequel. Fans of Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events and Trenton Lee Stewart's Mysterious Benedict Society will love this quirky tween series and hope to join the VNHLP just like Hilary!Hilary Westfield is now a bona fide pirate, but when her daring, her magical know-how, and even her gargoyle don't convince the VNHLP that she's worthy of her title, the Terror of the Southlands, she sets off with her crew on a High Seas adventure. But then Miss Pimm disappears and Hilary decides to find the missing Enchantress and protect the magic of Augusta.
The Very Nice Box: A Novel
by Eve Gleichman Laura BlackettAn office romantic comedy novel about an eccentric product engineer at a hip furniture company whose charismatic boss seems determined to get close to her.Ava Simon designs storage boxes for STÄDA, a slick Brooklyn-based furniture company. She’s hard-working, obsessive, and heartbroken from a tragedy that killed her girlfriend and upended her life. It’s been years since she’s let anyone in.But when Ava’s new boss—the young and magnetic Mat Putnam—offers Ava a ride home one afternoon, an unlikely relationship blossoms. Ava remembers how rewarding it can be to open up—and, despite her instincts, she becomes enamored. But Mat isn’t who he claims to be, and the romance takes a sharp turn.The Very Nice Box is a funny, suspenseful debut—with a shocking twist. It’s at once a send-up of male entitlement and a big-hearted account of grief, friendship, and trust.“Laura Blackett and Eve Gleichman are linguistic magicians, and their sparkling debut manages to expose the hollowness of well-being jargon while exploring, with tender care and precision, how we dare to move on after unspeakable loss . . . [They have] constructed a mirrored fun house, one that leads us down different paths, each masterfully tied up at the end, yet reflecting and refracting our own quirky selves.” —New York Times Book Review, An Editors' Choice“Very funny—and perhaps the most original office satire of the year.” —Washington Post“The story charms, it entices, and it keeps the reader in their hands, wanting more.” —Los Angeles Review of Books
The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip
by Lane Smith George SaundersFrom the bestselling author of Tenth of December comes a splendid new edition of his acclaimed collaboration with the illustrator behind The Stinky Cheese Man and James and the Giant Peach! Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious images, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a modern fable for people of all ages that touches on the power of kindness, generosity, compassion, and community. In the seaside village of Frip live three families: the Romos, the Ronsens, and a little girl named Capable and her father. The economy of Frip is based solely on goat's milk, and this is a problem because the village is plagued by gappers: bright orange, many-eyed creatures the size of softballs that love to attach themselves to goats. When a gapper gets near a goat, it lets out a high-pitched shriek of joy that puts the goats off giving milk, which means that every few hours the children of Frip have to go outside, brush the gappers off their goats, and toss them into the sea. The gappers have always been everyone's problem, until one day they get a little smarter, and instead of spreading out, they gang up: on Capable's goats. Free at last of the tyranny of the gappers, will her neighbors rally to help her? Or will they turn their backs, forcing Capable to bear the misfortune alone? Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious illustrations by Lane Smith and a brilliant story by George Saunders that explores universal themes of community and kindness, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a rich and resonant story for those that have all and those that have not.
The Very Pointless Quiz Book: Prove your Pointless Credentials
by Alexander Armstrong Richard OsmanLet hosts Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman guide you through the quiz rounds with their trademark warmth and humour and battle it out against your friends and family for Pointless glory. Perfect for playing along alone or with family and friends, The Very Pointless Quiz Book will test your knowledge and tease your brains.So how good are you at Pointless? Really? Do you think you've got enough in-depth knowledge of Regional Railways, African Countries With No Coastline and Types of Lettuce to carry off the coveted Pointless trophy?Well let's see shall we?Here's your chance to step up to the podium (metaphorically speaking of course, chances are you'll be sitting somewhere very comfortably with either a mug of tea or a roll of Andrex within easy reach) put that knowledge to the test, and see just how far you can go in a genuine four-round Pointless ordeal.Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless...
The Very Pointless Quiz Book: Prove your Pointless Credentials (Pointless Books #3)
by Alexander Armstrong Richard OsmanLet hosts Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman guide you through the quiz rounds with their trademark warmth and humour and battle it out against your friends and family for Pointless glory. Perfect for playing along alone or with family and friends, The Very Pointless Quiz Book will test your knowledge and tease your brains.So how good are you at Pointless? Really? Do you think you've got enough in-depth knowledge of Regional Railways, African Countries With No Coastline and Types of Lettuce to carry off the coveted Pointless trophy?Well let's see shall we?Here's your chance to step up to the podium (metaphorically speaking of course, chances are you'll be sitting somewhere very comfortably with either a mug of tea or a roll of Andrex within easy reach) put that knowledge to the test, and see just how far you can go in a genuine four-round Pointless ordeal.Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless...
The Very Smart Pea and the Princess-to-be
by Mini GreyWhen it comes to sorting out a Real Princess from a Fake Princess, the famous pea-under-the-mattress test is tried-and-true. But for those of you who may have wondered how anyone could feel a tiny garden-variety pea under the weight of twenty mattresses, this book will put that question to rest once and for all. This witty spoof was shortlisted for the prestigious Kate Greenaway Medal in the UK. It was Mini Grey's first book and a worthy predecessor to such favorites as Traction Man is Here!From the Hardcover edition.
The Very Stuffed Turkey (Cartwheel Pbk Picture Bks.)
by Katharine KenahA Thanksgiving story featuring a large turkey with a big problem......he's been invited to EVERYONE'S home for dinner!With five homes to visit -- Horse's, Pig's, Sheep and Goat's, Cow's, and Mouse's --Turkey knows there'll be a ton of food to eat. But there'll also be friends and their families who can't wait to celebrate the holiday with Turkey! Can this very plump bird make it through every meal without bursting? A silly, read-aloud story featuring food, friends, and one hilarious turkey!
The Very Thirsty Vampire
by Michael Teitelbaum Jon AppleIn this hilarious parody of a children's classic, and a follow-up to its highly successful cousin, The Very Hungry Zombie, The Very Thirsty Vampire presents a charming little fellow with a very specific kind of thirst. As he drinks his way through a variety of bartenders, baristas, wine stewards, soda jerks, and other venders of fine beverages who try to quench his thirst, he pines for something of more substance, finally finding it in a blood bank, where hopeful nurses think he's there to make a deposit, but the clever reader knows he's only there to make a very sizeable withdrawal!With vivid, playful art and amusing text, The Very Thirsty Vampire will appeal to picture-book lovers of all ages. Adults will catch its slightly demented humor. Older kids who grew up on classic board books will love the fun of the parody. And all who appreciate the undead will adore this dashing bloodthirsty gentleman with a wicked sense of humor.
The Very True Legend of the Mongolian Death Worms
by Sandra FayA funny picture book celebrating the universal truth about wanting to be loved just as you are, fangs and all, inspired by the real-life legend of Mongolian Death Worms.Like the ongoing search for Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster, scientists have searched the Gobi Desert for these giant worms. Reported sightings claim that their skin is blood red; their fangs razor sharp. The worms are supposedly poisonous and electrifying . . . or are they? In this funny story, we meet the Mongolian Death Worm family: Beverly, Trevor, Neville and Kevin. In spite of their deadly reputation, they’re determined to make nice and win over the other animals. Their overtures of friendship are . . . not reciprocated. But when disaster strikes, it’s the Mongolian Death Worm family to the rescue! With additional information about the legend, this book is perfect for storytime and discussions of legends and science. Perfect for fans of Ben Clanton, Sandra Fay's The Very True Legend of the Mongolian Death Worms will leave readers of all ages laughing and heartwarmed!