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There's an Elf in Your Book (Who's In Your Book?)
by Tom FletcherHO, HO, HEY! There's an ELF in YOUR Christmas book! Get ready for another lively, interactive read-aloud in the Who's In Your Book series!Do you have what it takes to make Santa's Nice List? An elf is here to test you in this participatory read-aloud. Don't let the elf trick you into being naughty! Just follow his instructions to sing a Christmas carol, clap, BURP... Hey, wait a second! Children will be delighted to join in on the holiday fun. Bestselling author and musician Tom Fletcher, the creator of the successful West End show The Christmasaurus, has once again paired up with illustrator Greg Abbott to create a creature that readers will fall in love with--and want to play with--again and again!Don't miss a single story in the Who's In Your Book series! There's a Monster In Your Book There's a Dragon In Your Book There's an Elf In Your Book There's an Alien in Your Book...and more books to come!
There’s No Such Thing as Vegetables
by Kyle LukoffA hilarious new picture book that exposes vegetables for what they truly are—leaves, roots, flowers, and stalks—by National Book Award Finalist and Newbery Honor winner Kyle Lukoff, perfect for fans of the Our Universe series.Chester plans to have a salad for lunch, but in order to do that, he'll need vegetables. So, off he goes to the community garden, except he quickly learns that he won't be dressing a salad anytime soon. Instead, the vegetables start dressing him down. According to them, "vegetables" don't exist!I know what you are thinking: What the bell pepper? Vegetables are totally real! But here's the thing: Kale is just a leaf, broccoli is a flower, potatoes are roots, and celery...well, stalks. Thanks to a lively, sassy cast of talking "veggies," Chester learns a valuable lesson about categories and how they shape our understanding of the world.With a slyly informative text and illustrations that will crack readers up, the schooling in There's No Such Thing As Vegetables will be easy to digest and is a total treat.
These Are My Pets (Step into Reading)
by Mercer MayerMeet a frog, a dog, and some of Little Critter's other furry friends in this Step 2 Deluxe Step into Reading leveled reader with stickers!Little Critter loves his pets! Meet his fish, frog, cat, and dog in this Step 2 Deluxe Step into Reading leveled reader, first published in 1988! With over 30 shiny stickers, this book is perfect for children ages 4 to 6. Step 2 Readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. For children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
These Aren't My Pants: The Dumbest and Dimmest from the Files of America's Dumbest Criminals
by Alan Ray Daniel R. ButlerI always ask a suspect, "Do you have any drugs tonight?" The suspect always says, "No, officer" with an incredible innocence and look of disbelief. Then I pat him down and I find a bag of crack, a Saturday Night Special, and a switchblade knife. He tells me he's never seen these things before. When I explain that they just came out of the pants he is wearing, without hesitating, the suspect always says, "But these aren't my pants!" One 300-pound dumb criminal got in even more trouble. Pointing to his 90-pound girlfriend, he explained, "They are hers. She used to be much larger." The police had to intervene to save the man from his petite but outraged friend. These Aren't My Pants! is a collection of 320 of the dumbest stories from the four best-selling America's Dumbest Criminals books and the popular television show along with 40 all-new stories. Every 6.8 seconds another dumb crime is committed. Here is the ultimate collection of the most incredibly stupid and painfully dumb attempts at crime including... * The accused vending-machine thief who paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters * The bank robber who had to go back to the bank for the car keys he had left on the counter * The woman who invalidated her winning $5,000 lottery ticket by altering it to match the $20 prize number * The two suspects on trial who raised their hands when the prosecutor asked the victim if those guilty were in the courtroom
These Boots Weren't Made for Walking
by Melody CarlsonWilling to make the necessary sacrifices-even skipping the occasional latte-to ensure career success, 31-year-old Cassidy Cantrell "invests" in a chic pair of boots, certain they'll make a spectacular impression and help seal the deal on a long-anticipated promotion from her Seattle employer. But reality tromps all over her expectations. Cassie's job is abruptly eliminated-and her love life obliterated, when her longtime boyfriend dumps her for a "friend." Her self-esteem in tatters, Cassie limps home to the resort town she once so eagerly fled-only to find her recently divorced mother transformed into a gorgeous fifty-something babe with a thriving social life. Cassie wrestles with envy and apathy as she considers the dismal shape of her own physique and romantic prospects. What will it take for her to jump back into life and regain her stride?This sassy and hilarious novel leads readers on a romp through the wilds of relationships, romance, career, and spirituality, revealing that, while God's plans may look drastically different than our own, it'll always be a perfect fit.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Theseus Discovers His Heir: The Queen's New Year Secret Theseus Discovers His Heir Awakening The Ravensdale Heiress The Marriage He Must Keep (The Kalliakis Crown #2)
by Michelle SmartTHE PRINCE'S SECRET LOVE CHILD! Shocking news has rocked the Mediterranean Principality of Agon. Prince Theseus-second in line to the throne-is rumored to have fathered a secret love child. Reports surfaced the moment stunning royal biographer Joanne Brooks was hired to memorialize King Astraeus's reign. It seems she's brought more than pens and paper! Witnesses suggest that five years ago, our onetime bad boy prince traveled the world in disguise as engineer Theo Petakis and met Joanne. This reporter wants to know how Ms. Brooks will react when our commanding prince wants to claim his child and his bride!
They Both Die at the End: TikTok made me buy it! (They Both Die at the End series)
by Adam SilveraThe first book in the No. 1 global bestselling They Both Die at the End series. What if you could find out your death date from a single phone call? Death-Cast is calling . . . will you answer? &‘If They Both Die at the End broke your heart and put it back together again, be prepared for this novel to do the same. A tender, sad, hopeful and youthful story that deserves as much love as its predecessor.&’ Culturefly '[A] heart-pounding story [full] of emotion and suspense.' Kirkus 'An extraordinary book with a riveting plot.' BooklistA love story with a difference - an unforgettable tale of life, loss and making each day count. On September 5th, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: they're going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they're both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: there's an app for that. It's called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure - to live a lifetime in a single day. Another beautiful, heartbreaking and life-affirming book from the brilliant Adam Silvera, author of More Happy Than Not, History Is All You Left Me, What If It's Us, Here's To Us and the Infinity Cycle series.PRAISE FOR ADAM SILVERA: 'There isn't a teenager alive who won't find their heart described perfectly on these pages.' Patrick Ness, author of The Knife of Never Letting Go 'Adam Silvera is a master at capturing the infinite small heartbreaks of love and loss and grief.' Nicola Yoon, author of Everything, Everything 'A phenomenal talent.' Juno Dawson, author of Clean and Wonderland 'Bold and haunting.' Lauren Oliver, author of Delirium
They Call Me Baba Booey
by Chad Millman Gary Dell'AbateOne of pop culture's great enduring unsung heroes: Gary Dell'Abate, Howard Stern Show producer, miracle worker, professional good sport, and servant to the King of All Media, for the first time tells the story of his early years and reveals how his chaotic childhood and early obsessions prepared him for life at the center of the greatest show on earth. Baba Booey! Baba Booey! It was a slip of the tongue--that unfortunately was heard by a few million listeners--but in that split second a nickname, a persona, a rallying cry, and a phenomenon was born. Some would say it was the moment Gary Dell'Abate, the long-suffering heroic producer of The Howard Stern Show, for better or worse, finally came into his own. In They Call Me Baba Booey, Dell'Abate explains how his early life was the perfect training ground for the day-to-day chaos that comes with producing the most popular radio show on earth. Growing up on Long Island in the 1970s, the youngest of three boys born to a clinically depressed mother, Gary learned how to fend for himself when under attack. Obsessed with music, he listened with religious intensity to Casey Kasem's Top 40 every Sunday morning, compulsively bought 45s of his favorite songs, and nerdily copied the lyrics into a notebook. Music became an ordering principle to his life, even as the chaos at home got out of hand. Dell'Abate's memoir sketches the trajectory from the obsessive pop-music trivia buff to the man in the beekeeper's mask who handily defeats his opponents playing "Stump the Booey." We learn about the memorable moments in his life that taught him to endure epic bouts of humiliation and get his unique perspective on some of his favorite Stern show episodes--such as the day he nearly killed the Mets mascot while throwing out the first pitch, or the time his mother called Howard's mother and demanded an apology. Hilarious, painful, and eye-opening, it's Gary as you've never seen him before, telling a story that even Stern show insiders can't begin to imagine.From the Hardcover edition.
They Call Me Naughty Lola: Personal Ads from the London Review of Books
by David RoseI've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34. Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. * Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds. * They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest -- and most erudite -- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.
They Call Me No Sam!
by Mike Lowery Drew DaywaltFrom Drew Daywalt, author of The Day the Crayons Quit, and illustrator Mike Lowery comes a heavily illustrated, paper-over-board middle grade novel about Sam, a noble pug who will go to any lengths to protect his family from the bad guys! <P><P> Meet Sam: an insolent pug—and incidental hero—who will stop at nothing to protect his family! <P><P> When scientists Elaine and Gary Peterson adopt Sam to keep their son, Justin, company in the midst of a top-secret research project, they never imagine the precocious pup will cause more harm than good. But from chewing up Elaine’s hair dryer (the “brain-melting heat cannon”) to his inability to be house-trained (who could resist the “pooping rug”?), the Petersons aren’t sure how much more they can take. And that's before Sam starts harassing Justin’s crush (and potential new friend), Phoebe, who Sam is sure is an evil wizard out to harm Justin. <P><P> But when a pair of crooks encroaches on the Peterson household in an attempt to steal their confidential findings, Sam’s actions—never mind his reasoning for them—just may save the day. <p> <b>New York Times Bestseller</b>
They Call Me the Night Howler! (Goosebumps SlappyWorld #11)
by R. L. StineGoosebumps now on Disney+!Mason Brady loves comics! He knows every hero, villain, and sidekick. He even draws his own characters. On a trip to his favorite place, the Comic Book Characters Hall of Fame Museum, Mason explores every exhibit. He even comes across the very real Night Howler. But when villains start terrorizing the town, Mason realizes that his whole life is about to change. Will Mason be a superhero or a superzero?
They Can Talk: A Collection of Comics about Animals
by Jimmy CraigFind out what all those animals are saying behind the humans’ backs in this comical collection . . .From the popular internet sensation “They Can Talk” comes a hilarious comic collection of what it would be like if we had VIP access to the lives of our animal friends and foes. Humor writer and artist Jimmy Craig offers 100 colorful comics, including the inner thoughts of creatures from across the animal kingdom—from misunderstood sharks and troublemaking bears to the often-complicated relationship between you and your pet cat.Get dating advice from raccoons, and learn what roosters think when the sun rises and why cats are always knocking things off of shelves. They Can Talk is the perfect pick-me-up for anyone who loves animals—or just loves to laugh.
They Come Over Here: Asking Famous People Where They're Really From
by Phil WangComedian Phil Wang takes us through a funny and incisive look at race and belonging. Inspired by his forthcoming book Sidesplitter, Phil and a panel of guests explore the subjects of food, music, politics, nature and empire, and what they mean in today's multicultural society.Guests include comedian and Budpod co-host Pierre Novellie, singer-songwriter Emmy the Great, bestselling author and journalist Sathnam Sanghera, celebrity pastry chef Cherish Finden and many more. (P)2021 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
They Eat Horses, Don't They?: The Truth About the French
by Piu Marie EatwellThey Eat Horses, Don't They?:The Truth About the French tells you what life in France is really like. Do the French eat horses? Do French women bare all on the beach? What is a bidet really used for?In this hilarious and informative book, Piu Marie Eatwell reveals the truth behind forty-five myths about the French, from the infamous horsemeat banquets of the nineteenth century that inspired an irrepressible rumor, to breaking down our long-held beliefs about French history and society (the French are a nation of cheese-eating surrender monkeys, right?).Eatwell lived in France for many years and made the most of long French weekends, extended holidays, and paid time off to sit on French beaches, evaluate the sexual allure of the French men and women around her, and, of course, scan café menus for horses and frogs. As a result, They Eat Horses, Don't They? reveals a fascinating picture of historical and contemporary France—a country that has both changed radically in the twenty-first century, but yet still retains much of the mystery, romance, and allure that has seduced foreigners for decades. Truth, as always, is stranger than fiction. . . .
They Eat Puppies, Don't They?: A Novel
by Christopher BuckleyIn an attempt to gain congressional approval for a top-secret weapons system, Washington lobbyist "Bird" McIntyre teams up with sexy, outspoken neocon Angel Templeton to pit the American public against the Chinese. When Bird fails to uncover an authentic reason to slander the nation, he and Angel put the Washington media machine to work, spreading a rumor that the Chinese secret service is working to assassinate the Dalai Lama. Meanwhile in China, mild-mannered President Fa Mengyao and his devoted aide Gang are maneuvering desperately against sinister party hard-liners Minister Lo and General Han. Now Fa and Gang must convince the world that the People's Republic is not out to kill the Dalai Lama, while maintaining Fa's small margin of power in the increasingly militaristic environment of the party. On the home front, Bird must contend with a high-strung wife who entertains Olympic equestrian ambition, and the qualifying competition happens to be taking place in China. As things unravel abroad, Bird and Angel's lie comes dangerously close to reality. And as their relationship rises to a new level, so do mounting tensions between the United States and China
They Hate Each Other: A fake dating, enemies-to-lovers romcom for fans of HEARTSTOPPER!
by Amanda WoodyHigh school is hard enough without falling for your worst enemy.There are plenty of words Jonah Collins could use to describe Dylan Ramírez. 'Arrogant', 'spoiled', and 'golden boy', to name a few. Likewise, Dylan thinks he has Jonah all figured out: an attention-seeking asshat who never shuts his filthy mouth.Their friends are convinced Jonah's and Dylan's disdain for one another is just thinly veiled lust - a rumour that surges like wildfire when the two wake up in the same bed after homecoming . . .Mutually horrified, Dylan and Jonah hatch a plan, and agree to use the faux pas to their advantage by fake dating. If they can stay convincing long enough to end their "relationship" in a massive staged fight, they can prove their incompatibility to their friends once and for all.But the more time they spend together, the more their plan begins to fall apart - and the closer they come to seeing each other clearly for the first time.A heartfelt and hilarious coming-of-age romcom for fans of HEARTSTOPPER, Casey McQuiston and Adam Silvera!(P) 2023 Penguin Audio
They Hate Each Other: A fake dating, enemies-to-lovers romcom for fans of HEARTSTOPPER!
by Amanda WoodyHigh school is hard enough without falling for your worst enemy.Jonah Collins and Dylan Ramírez hate each other. Jonah views Dylan as a spoiled, arrogant golden boy, whilst Dylan has Jonah labelled as an attention-seeking show-off who never shuts his mouth. Their friends are convinced Jonah's and Dylan's mutual disdain is just thinly veiled lust - a rumour that surges like wildfire when the two wake up in one bed after homecoming. Horrified, the pair agree to use the faux pas to their advantage: they decide to keep up the fake dating ruse, then end their 'relationship' in a massive staged fight, proving their incompatibility once and for all. But the more time they spend together, the more they begin to question their true feelings. Could there be a fine line between love and hate after all?***A heartfelt and hilarious coming-of-age romcom for fans of HEARTSTOPPER, Casey McQuiston and Adam Silvera!
They Laughed at Galileo: How the Great Inventors Proved Their Critics Wrong
by Albert JackFrom the wireless to the computer, and from hula hoops to interplanetary travel, inventions and discoveries have changed our lifestyles in ways that would have astounded our ancestors. Each of them was originally developed by visionaries who dreamt of the seemingly impossible, but who were opposed by an array of experts publicly declaring that `It cannot be done.? Well, yes it could . . . And here's the story of how those dreamers overcame the odds against them.
They Laughed at Galileo: How the Great Inventors Proved Their Critics Wrong
by Albert JackFrom the wireless to the computer, and from hula hoops to interplanetary travel, inventions and discoveries have changed our lifestyles in ways that would have astounded our ancestors. Each of them was originally developed by visionaries who dreamt of the seemingly impossible, but who were opposed by an array of experts publicly declaring that ‘It cannot be done.’ Well, yes it could . . . And here's the story of how those dreamers overcame the odds against them.
They Moved My Bowl: Dog Cartoons by New Yorker Cartoonist Charles Barsotti
by Charles Barsotti George BoothThis is the first, and long-overdue, book of Charles Barsotti's dog cartoons. Barsotti's distinctive round pups, rendered in just a few simple lines, have been delighting The New Yorker readers for three decades and are instantly recognizable for their depiction of canines in human roles. The juxtaposition of their simple world, consisting only of food, play, and the goings-on of their owners, with the utterly human tasks of going to therapy, talking business, or seeing a lawyer, is both adorable and hilarious. A dog standing at a podium announces, "If elected, I promise to beg, fetch, and roll over." An older dog frowns down at a young pup and says, "Don't be smug, all puppies are cute." An angry dog with brush in hand paints a "BEWARE OF DOG" sign. With an irresistible blend of biting humor and affectionate observation, this is a perfect gift book for dog lovers everywhere.
They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?
by Patrick F. McmanusOutdoor recreation, fishing, hunting, camping, anecdotes and humor.
They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat
by Lewis GrizzardDoes the pig donating my valve have a name? he wants to know. What do you mean I can't wear my lucky ball cap into surgery? How much beer can I have the night before surgery? How soon after surgery can I play tennis? Other books by Lewis Grizzard are available in this library.
They Went Another Way: A Hollywood Memoir
by Bruce Eric KaplanA darkly comic memoir about being a working creative person in a world that is growing ever more dysfunctional, by acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist and television writer Bruce Eric Kaplan.In January 2022, Bruce Eric Kaplan found himself confused and upset by the state of the world and the state of his life as a television writer in Los Angeles. He started a journal to keep from going mad, which eventually became They Went Another Way.The book’s through line traces his attempt to get a television project set up in the increasingly Byzantine world of Hollywood. But as he details the project’s ups and downs, Kaplan finds himself ruminating not only on show business but also on today’s political and social issues, on old movies and TV shows and music, on his family, on his friends, on his past, on his failing heating system, and on all the dead birds that keep showing up in his backyard.This hilarious and surprisingly moving book is about life—about art, about love, about alienation, about connection, about ugliness and beauty, about disappointment, wonder, and hope. In short, it is about everything.
They'll Never Put That on the Air: The New Age of TV Comedy
by Allan NeuwirthIn the 1950s, Lucille Ball couldn't even say the word "pregnant" on TV. But by the 1990s, Carrie Bradshaw and her posse could say everything there is to say about sex-and demonstrate most of it. How have broadcast standards changed from the dawn of television till today? Through interviews with the creators of landmark shows, author Allan Neuwirth traces that history, revealing how the upheaval of the 1960s led to edgier fare such as The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour; how counterculture baby boomers made Saturday Night Live-style satire possible; how stand-up comedians changed the sitcom landscape; how UPN and the WB raised eyebrows with comedies aimed at minorities; and much more. In this age of FCC crackdowns, They'll Never Put That on the Air is as timely as it is entertaining and informative. Firsthand accounts of life in the TV trenches from producers and writers Handy "genealogy chart" traces TV comedy from the 1950s to today Insider author is an award-winning producer, director, and writer of TV comedy
They're Cows, We're Pigs (Books That Changed the World)
by Carmen BoullosaA dark, thought-provoking adventure that “artfully evokes the blood-soaked reality of 17th-century pirates” (Entertainment Weekly).This “wryly humorous, satiric, and often macabre novel” (Library Journal) follows Jean Smeeks, a Flemish thirteen-year-old who signs up as an indentured servant with the French West Indies Company, but instead winds up a slave on the notorious island of Tortuga. Over time, he learns the arts of herbal medicine and surgery—a skill that allows him to join a band of Caribbean pirates. Contrasting Jean’s romantic pull toward the “Brethren of the Coast”—an all-male society pursuing socialist, anti-colonialist ideals—with the brutal reality of their lawless existence, They’re Cows, We’re Pigs is a “unique and memorable” novel whose “pirate world leaves you as a good book should: thinking” (The Boston Herald).