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They're Not Your Friends
by Irene ZutellLook Out for Falling Stars Charlotte "Lottie" Love has a thing for celebrity. Actually, it's more of an obsession. All her life she's lurked in the shadows of Hollywood, desperate to step into the light. When she lands a job at Personality magazine, her dreams of red-carpet strolls, popping flashbulbs, and the attention of white-hot heartthrobs finally start to come true. Even Hollywood's latest "It" boy falls for her, and everyone wants his story. Can Lottie score the scoop? Ask Lem Brac, a British boozehound in the twilight of a mediocre career who knows an exclusive with the It boy would save his job. Lem looks for help from his new (and only) friend--Mike Posner, a young hotshot reporter just hired away from a New York tabloid. But Mike has some damaging secrets himself that are about to surface. He needs the interview too, and it's anyone's guess how far he'll go to get it. Welcome to the world of entertainment journalism and star worship, where you're only as good as the gossip you dig up. Written by a former People magazine correspondent who knows the underbelly of Hollywood hearsay all too well, They're Not Your Friends slips past the velvet rope and grants access to a wickedly funny--and sometimes scary--celebrity magazine scene. From the Trade Paperback edition.
They're There on Their Vacation
by Jim Paillot Brian P ClearyMeet the Tuckabees. They're going on vacation. But not an ordinary vacation. They always choose the wackiest, weirdest destinations for their family trips. This year their stops include visits to the world's largest underwear, a narwhal petting zoo, and the amazing Cheezie Popz factory. No matter where this family goes, they're sure to have tons of fun when they get there. Come along for the ride—and along the way, learn to tell apart they're, their, and there. These words sound alike, but they're different in meaning. Figure out how to keep them straight as you join the Tuckabees on their adventures.
Thicker Than Water (A School for Spies Novel #2)
by Bruce HaleJust when Max Segredo learned that his father is still alive, he also learned that Simon Segredo was working for LOTUS, an evil spy operation that wants to take down the Merry Sunshine Orphanage (a.k.a. the School for S.P.I.E.S.) and take over the world. Now Simon is on the run from LOTUS, and Max's surrogate family at the orphanage is being threatened from without and within. LOTUS is trying to drive the school out of business, while the Ministry of Health is investigating an anonymous complaint about the orphanage. To top it all off, the trainee spies are riddled by fear and squabbling among themselves. Into this chaos strolls a mysterious billionaire who hires S.P.I.E.S. to steal a powerful mind control device. The fee for the job will help save the school, but there's a catch: they've got just three days to pilfer the device from an ultra-secure facility before LOTUS steals it first. Can the S.P.I.E.S beat their rivals to the prize before the orphanage doors close for good? In this action-packed sequel to Playing with Fire, it is impossible not to root for Max, a spy-in-training with mad skills, a spunky attitude, a way with the ladies (well, okay, maybe not so much), and a big heart.
Thief Strikes!: A Branches Book (Hilde Cracks the Case)
by Matthew Lysiak Hilde LysiakCrime reporter Hilde Lysiak has to catch a thief!Pick a book. Grow a Reader!This series is part of Scholastic's early chapter book line, Branches, aimed at newly independent readers. With easy-to-read text, high-interest content, fast-paced plots, and illustrations on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and stamina. Branches books help readers grow!Real-life crime reporter Hilde Lysiak is starring in her very own early chapter book series -- inspired by real news stories she has written! In this sixth book, tomato plants are stolen from a local garden! Hilde needs to catch the thief fast. But when she and her sister Izzy interview witnesses, they discover something strange: people all around town are getting sick! Can this real-life reporter get to the ROOT of these two mysteries? Joanne Lew-Vriethoff's personality-filled illustrations appear on every page, bringing Hilde's adventures to life for young readers!
Thief of My Heart
by Janice SimsLove can steal your breath away... Psychologist Desiree Gaines diagnosed Decker Riley the day they met. Her opinion: he's a sexy smooth-talker who loves the thrill of the chase. It's only when he stops pursuing her that Desiree realizes she may have misjudged him. For the first time since she lost her fiancé, Desiree is intrigued...and scared she might be walking into heartache once again. Now that Desiree has stepped out of his wildest fantasies and into his arms, gorgeous attorney Decker knows one thing: she was well worth the wait. Their physical connection is deep and undeniable. But Decker's past makes Desiree doubt herself, so he'll have to earn her trust, one sweet, sizzling kiss at a time...
Thief of Time: A Discworld Novel (Death #5)
by Terry Pratchett"Philosophical humor of the highest order." — Kirkus ReviewsTime itself is threatened—and it's up to the History Monks to save it in this hilarious installment in Sir Terry Pratchett's bestselling Discworld series.Everybody wants more time. Which is why, on Discworld, only the experts can manage it—the venerable Monks of History who store it and pump it from where it's wasted, like underwater (how much time does a codfish really need?) to places like cities, where busy denizens lament never having enough of it.While everyone talks about slowing down, one young horologist is about to do the unthinkable. He's going to stop. Well, stop time, that is, by building the world's first truly accurate clock. Which means esteemed History Monk Lu-Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd have to put on some speed to stop the timepiece before it starts. For if the Perfect Clock starts ticking, time—as we know it—will end. And then the trouble will really begin . . .The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Thief of Time is the final book in the Death series. The collection includes:MortThe Reaper ManSoul MusicHogfatherThief of Time
Thieves' World® Volume Four: Aftermath, Uneasy Alliances, and Stealers' Sky (Thieves' World®)
by Robert Asprin and Lynn AbbeyVolumes ten, eleven, and twelve bring the original, classic shared-world fantasy series to a close with an action-packed ending. As the storms of war blow past Sanctuary, the city rebuilds. Citizens work to put their lives back in order. Rights are wronged, debts are paid, and vengeance is pursued. But laborers are disappearing, a battle is brewing, and a sandstorm is blowing in from the desert, ready to envelop the city in chaos . . . Get lost in the adventure with this collection co-edited by Robert Lynn Asprin, New York Times–bestselling author of the Myth Adventures series, featuring colorful stories by fantasy&’s best authors like Lynn Abbey, Robin W. Bailey, John Brunner, C. J. Cherryh, Jon DeCles, David Drake, Duane McGowen, Janet Morris, Mark C. Perry, Andrew Offutt, Diana L. Paxson, and C. S. Williams.Praise for the Thieves&’ World® series &“It&’s a collection to be raced through, to see what will happen. And it&’s a collection to drag one&’s feet through, lest the end come too soon.&” —Fantasy-Faction &“Game of Thrones has come to an end. . . . [Here&’s] a fantasy series to fill the void. . . . You&’ll be pulled into political intrigues, watch new gods replace old, and witness fortunes rise and fall and rise again.&” —Book Riot &“Sanctuary was the city where anything could happen, where characters created by some of the best fantasy writers of the generation crossed paths and shared adventures.&” —Black Gate
Thieves' World® Volume One: Thieves' World, Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn, and Shadows of Sanctuary (Thieves' World®)
by Robert Lynn Asprin and Lynn AbbeyExperience &“a bold and daring experiment in fantasy storytelling&” with the first three books in the bestselling Thieves&’ World® series (Fantasy-Faction). Created by the New York Times–bestselling author of the Myth series, as well as the Phule&’s Company series, Thieves&’ World® brings together classic fantasy&’s finest authors to flesh out the shared world with their own unforgettable characters and epic worldbuilding. The first three books include stories by Lynn Abbey, Poul Anderson, Robert Lynn Asprin, Marion Zimmer Bradley, C. J. Cherryh, David Drake, Philip José Farmer, Joe Haldeman, Janet Morris, Andrew J. Offutt, and others. They introduce you to the nefarious citizens of the city of Sanctuary, including One-Thumb, the proprietor of the Vulgar Unicorn tavern; Regli, a nobleman; Illyra, the seer; Hanes, the thief; Jubal, the crime lord; and Tempus Thales, the immortal mercenary. &“Game of Thrones has come to an end. . . . [Here&’s] a fantasy series to fill the void. . . . You&’ll be pulled into political intrigues, watch new gods replace old, and witness fortunes rise and fall and rise again.&” — Book Riot &“Sanctuary was the city where anything could happen, where characters created by some of the best fantasy writers of the generation crossed paths and shared adventures.&” —Black Gate
Thieves' World® Volume Three: The Dead of Winter, Soul of the City, and Blood Ties (Thieves' World®)
by Robert Asprin and Lynn AbbeyBooks seven, eight, and nine of the shared-world series that&’s &“a bold and daring experiment in fantasy storytelling&” (Fantasy-Faction). An army of undead, warring criminal factions, power-hungry witches, and magical destruction await in the city of Sanctuary with this collection co-edited by Robert Lynn Asprin, New York Times–bestselling author of the Myth Adventures series. Get caught up in the action-packed adventure of this shared-world series, featuring stories from some of fantasy&’s best authors likeLynn Abbey, Robert Lynn Asprin, Robin W. Bailey, C. J. Cherryh, Diane Duane, Janet and Chris Morris, Andrew and Jodie Offutt, and Diana L. Paxson.Praise for the Thieves&’ World® series &“Game of Thrones has come to an end. . . . [Here&’s] a fantasy series to fill the void. . . . You&’ll be pulled into political intrigues, watch new gods replace old, and witness fortunes rise and fall and rise again.&” —Book Riot &“Sanctuary was the city where anything could happen, where characters created by some of the best fantasy writers of the generation crossed paths and shared adventures.&” —Black Gate
Thieves' World® Volume Two: Storm Season, The Face of Chaos, and Wings of Omen (Thieves' World®)
by Robert Lynn Asprin and Lynn AbbeyBooks Four to Six in the shared-world series &“where characters created by some of the best fantasy writers of the generation crossed paths and shared adventures&” (Black Gate). Invasion, war, and rebellion roil the city of Sanctuary in this three-book collection compiled by the New York Times–bestselling author of the Myth series, as well as the Phule&’s Company series. The shared-world series comes alive with stories by Lynn Abbey, Robert Lynn Asprin, Robin W. Bailey, C. J. Cherryh, David Drake, Diane Duane, Chris and Janet Morris, Andrew J. Offutt, and Diana L. Paxson. &“Game of Thrones has come to an end. . . .[Here&’s] a fantasy series to fill the void. . . .You&’ll be pulled into political intrigues, watch new gods replace old, and witness fortunes rise and fall and rise again.&” — Book Riot Thieves&’ World has grown into a real presence in the fantasy genre.&” —Fantasy-Faction
Thieves' World®: An Epic Novel Of Thieves' World (Thieves' World® #1)
by John Brunner Joe Haldeman Philip José FarmerMissing Game of Thrones? Dare to &“be pulled into political intrigues, watch new gods replace old, and witness fortunes rise and fall and rise again&” (Book Riot). A classic series for a new generation of fantasy adventure fans, Thieves&’ World® paved the way for the shared-world anthology tradition with epic worldbuilding, unforgettable characters, and nonstop action thanks to the legendary authors who contribute to it. The series&’s groundbreaking debut features stories by John Brunner, Lynn Abbey, Poul Anderson, Andrew J. Offutt, Robert Lynn Asprin, Joe Haldeman, Christine DeWees, and Marion Zimmer Bradley, who populate the lawless city of Sanctuary with orphans and wizards, fortune tellers and emperors, merchants and madams, spies, assassins, and, of course, thieves. &“Sanctuary was the city where anything could happen, where characters created by some of the best fantasy writers of the generation crossed paths and shared adventures.&” —Black Gate &“A bold and daring experiment in fantasy storytelling . . . We are introduced to the cast of characters, including beggars and crime lords, wizards and soldiers, minstrels and thieves, as this new chapter in the life of Sanctuary begins, life under the governorship of Prince Kadakithis.&” —Fantasy-Faction
Thin Blue Smoke: A Novel About Music, Food, and Love
by Doug WorgulThis title is an epic American redemption tale about love and loss, hope and despair, God and whiskey, barbecue and the blues. LaVerne Williams is a ruined ex-big league ballplayer, an ex-felon with an attitude problem, and the owner of a barbecue joint he has to run. Ferguson Glen is an Episcopal priest, a fading literary star with a drinking problem, and a past he is running from. A.B. Clayton and Sammy Merzeti are two lost souls in need of love, understanding, and another cigarette. Hilarious and heart-rending, sacred and profane, this book marks the emergence of a vital new voice in American fiction.
Thin Skin
by Emma ForrestFrom the author dubbed "a literary Lolita" by Vanity Fair comes the perfect portrait of a young actress caught in a downward spiral of self-destruction. Edgy and funny at the same time, Thin Skin provides a realistic glimpse into the dark and inviting world of fame from the writer who penned Namedropper when she was just twenty-one. Everyone thinks Ruby is beautiful except for Ruby, who is so hell-bent on being ugly that she's driven away the man who loves her, the agent who swears he could have made her a star, and the delectable male costar of her latest project, Mean People Suck. After all, Ruby believes that what's going on outside should reflect what's on the inside -- and inside she's a mess. Burned-out at the age of twenty, she's living alone in a world of hotels and fast food -- none of which she keeps down -- haunted by the memory of her childhood love, cutting herself, and tempted to repeat her mother's tragic fate. She needs to find a new way of being. . . . and fast.
Thin, Rich, Pretty: A Novel
by Beth HarbisonFrom the New York Times bestselling author of Hope In a Jar, Secrets of a Shoe Addict, and Shoe Addicts Anonymous, comes a novel about old rivalries, deep secrets, and the three things all women wish they were Twenty years ago, when they were teenagers, Holly and Nicola were the outsiders at summer camp. Holly was the plump one, a dreamer who longed to be an artist. Nicola was the shy, plain one who wanted nothing more than to be beautiful. Their cabin nemesis was Lexi. Rich, spoiled, evil Lexi. One night, Holly and Nicola team up to pull one, daring act of vengeance. But they never dream that this one act will have repercussions that will reach into the future, even twenty years later. And they never realize the secret pain that Lexi holds very close, and how their need for revenge costs Lexi a great deal. Today, Holly is a successful gallery owner, who has put her own artistic dreams on hold. She struggles with her weight and for approval from her constantly-criticizing boyfriend. Nicola, is an almost-famous actress who believes that one little plastic surgery fix is just what she needs to put her over the edge into fame. And Lexi…Lexi is down on her luck and totally broke. Holly will do anything to be thin. Lexi will do anything to be rich. And Nicola will do anything to be pretty. Thin, Rich, Pretty is the story of three women who believe that happiness is the next dress size down, the next dollar figure up, or the next appreciative glance from a stranger. But mostly it's the story of how three women save each other, and show each other the path to true contentment. Told with Beth Harbison's knack for thirty and fortysomething nostalgia, and heartwarming humor, Thin, Rich, Pretty will strike a chord with any woman who has ever got on the scale, looked in the mirror, or the bank, and said, "if only…"
Thing Explainer
by Randall MunroeHave you ever tried to learn more about some incredible thing, only to be frustrated by incomprehensible jargon? Randall Munroe is here to help. In Thing Explainer, he uses line drawings and only the thousand (or, rather, "ten hundred") most common words to provide simple explanations for some of the most interesting stuff there is, including:food-heating radio boxes (microwaves)tall roads (bridges)computer buildings (datacenters)the shared space house (the International Space Station)the other worlds around the sun (the solar system)the big flat rocks we live on (tectonic plates)the pieces everything is made of (the periodic table)planes with turning wings (helicopters)boxes that make clothes smell better (washers and dryers)the bags of stuff inside you (cells) How do these things work? Where do they come from? What would life be like without them? And what would happen if we opened them up, heated them up, cooled them down, pointed them in a different direction, or pressed this button? In Thing Explainer, Munroe gives us the answers to these questions and so many more. Funny, interesting, and always understandable, this book is for anyone--age 5 to 105--who has ever wondered how things work, and why.
Things Ain't What They Used To Be
by Philip GlenisterAs DCI Gene Hunt, Philip Glenister has travelled back in time to 1974 and 1981 - and become a national treasure in the process. Now, in his hilarious and fascinating book, Things Ain't What They Used to Be, he takes the reader on a hilarious, personal journey through the 70s and 80s and compares them with how we live today. Was it really all so much better then? Or should we throw away our rose-tinted spectacles? Along the way Philip ponders many vital questions, such as: which decade had the best cars? Which had the worst haircuts? And exactly how heavy were the original 'mobile' phones? Already one of our best-loved stars, in THINGS AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE Philip Glenister also reveals himself to be a witty, warm and perceptive observer of life. If you're going on a nostalgia trip, you couldn't ask for better company.
Things Are Looking Grimm, Jill (Orca Young Readers)
by Dan Bar-ElPrincess Jill excels at jousting, fencing, skating and long-distance spitting. Her brother, King Jack, loves baking and spending time with Little Bo Peep and her sheep. So what's a princess to do when she receives a mysterious letter from the land of Grimm? Take up ballroom dancing? Not Princess Jill. All alone, with only her wits to guide her, Jill sets off to rescue the citizens of Grimm. Along the way she makes many odd new friends and discovers the value of listening to your mother.
Things Bogans Like: How to Recognise the Twenty-first Century Bogan
by E McSweenNow includes new material, MAXTREME UPDATED EPILOGUE.It is time to bring to the world?s attention the modern Australian bogan. The word is still associated with flannelette, VB, utes and mullets. This is WRONG. The word bogan needs to be reassessed.Meet the nouveau-bogue. The modern bogan. Today?s bogan defies income, class, race, creed, gender, religion and logic. For better or worse, Australia is contending with a different beast from the Paul Hogan bogan. This is a bogan with money. A bogan with aspirations. A bogan with Ed Hardy t-shirts.The new bogan will not rest until it owns a plasma TV so large that Two and a Half Men gets rounded up to three. Things Bogans Like is a landmark sociological publication and, far more importantly, essential reading for anyone who has ever bought a Buddhist-themed water feature, a four-litre energy drink or watched Today Tonight. This book is judge and jury of what it is to be a bogan in the twenty-first century. Brace your ego for some tough love.'Most comics are worried about looking like snobs and so this rich vein has been largely untapped. These blokes dive in fearlessly and the result is the funniest thing in Australia right now.' Tony Martin
Things Go Flying
by Shari LapenaThe brilliant and darkly hilarious debut novel about how the past can come back to haunt you (literally) by the New York Times bestselling author of Everyone Here Is Lying, Shari Lapena.Harold Walker, desperately average, is in the throes of a mid-life depression. His wife Audrey clings to an illusory sense of control—over their home, their teenaged sons, Dylan and John, and her own explosive secret. The death of a long-estranged friend triggers a series of perturbing events that catapults Harold out of his La-Z-Boy and throws the household into chaos. Things go flying when the dead begin communicating with Harold, leaving Audrey's secret vulnerable to exposure, and Harold more confused than ever. What these familiar voices from the afterlife ultimately reveal is just how little the living know about living.
Things I Didn't Expect (when I was expecting)
by Monica DuxPregnancy is natural, healthy and fun, right? Sure it is, if you're lucky. For others, it's an adventure in physical discomfort, unachievable ideals, kooky classes and meddling experts. When Monica Dux found herself pregnant with her first child, she was dismayed to find she belonged firmly in the second category. For her, pregnancy could only be described as a medium-level catastrophe. So, three years later and about to birth her second child, Monica went on a quest: to figure out what's really going on when we incubate. Monica explores the aspects of baby-making that we all want to talk about, but which are too embarrassing, unsettling or downright confronting. She also looks at the powerful forces that shape women's experiences of being pregnant in the west, the exploitative industries, and the medical and physical realities behind it all. Along the way, she fends off sadistic maternal health nurses, attempts to expand then contract her vagina, and struggles to keep her baby's placenta off her hippy brother's lunch menu.
Things I Have Drawn: At the Zoo
by Tom CurtisKIDS' DRAWINGS HILARIOUSLY BROUGHT TO LIFE.Have you ever wondered what the world would look like if children's drawings were real? Well, wonder no more. Global Instagram sensation THINGS I HAVE DRAWN does just that - and the results are AMAZING.8-year-old Dom and 6-year-old Al are brothers who love to doodle, and then Dad Tom painstakingly transforms their creations into photorealistic scenes. In this book, join the family on a trip to the zoo and laugh your socks off at all of the weird and wonderful creatures, including a gurning goat, a terrifying polar bear and a rather smug looking flamingo. Spectacularly funny and disturbing, this book is packed with previously unseen material and the brilliant before and after images that have made @thingsihavedrawn such a cult hit.
Things I Learned About My Dad
by Heather B. ArmstrongI Said Stop Throwing Peas! Dammit! Whether we've inherited his nose, sense of humor, or entire value system, our dads loom large in who we are and the choices we make. In this collection of true life tales from the trenches of parenting, Heather B. Armstrong, creator of dooce. com, brings together some of the best and brightest voices of the blogosphere to share their fears, foibles, and fantastic moments of fatherhood. Bracingly funny, cheerfully cranky, and always honest, this charming collection of essays redefines the notion of the modern American family, and reads like a love letter to fatherhood. Heather B. Armstrong is the award winning publisher of dooce®. She gained notoriety in 2002 as one of the first people to be fired because of a blog, and in 2005 dooce. com was chosen by Time magazine as one of the 50 Coolest Websites. Armstrong has been on Good Morning America, CNN, NPR, and ABC's World News Tonight as a featured commenter on both blogging and postpartum depression, as well as profiled in the New York Times Sunday Style section and the Washington Post Weekend Magazine. She was published in Real Simple's Family edition in August, 2007. Armstrong lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with her husband, daughter, and dog.
Things I Learned From Knitting: ...whether I wanted to or not
by Stephanie Pearl-McPheeWith a knitter’s perspective, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee describes the astonishing wisdom and hard-to-swallow truths that are embedded in everyday clichés. You’ll laugh with Pearl-McPhee as she realizes that “babies grow” after spending nights knitting a now-too-small sweater. “Beginning is easy, continuing is hard” takes on a new meaning to the knitter who has five projects going, but wants to start another. The next time you drop a stitch, take a cue from this insightful collection and remember, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
Things I Want to Punch in the Face
by Jennifer WorickInspired by the popular blog of the same name, Things I Want to Punch in the Face takes aim at the things that chap Jennifer Worick's hide, from old-guy ponytails to shoeless households, naked pregnancy portraits to man caves, Renaissance faires to people who don't believe in TV. It's a colorful, laugh-out-loud funny gift book at a very friendly price, from the author responsible for such hit titles as Nancy Drew's Guide to Life and the Worst-Case Scenario Handbook: Dating & Sex.
Things I Wish I'd Known: a heart-warming read of first love and second chances
by Linda GreenEver look at your life and find yourself wondering: how did this happen?When Claire discovers the list she wrote as a teenager entitled '20 Years From Now', she realises how far removed her life is from the one she'd imagined. Divorced. Stuck in a dead-end job. Dating a man who is desperate to settle down to a future she doesn't want . . . it's time for Claire to put her life back on track, before it's too late.From the bestselling author of While My Eyes Were Closed comes a poignant novel about what could have been . . . WHAT READERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN'Heart-warming and real' *****'Took me back to my own teenage years and all that raw emotion and lure of first love' *****'Absorbing, thought-provoking must-read!' *****Also available from Linda Green:After I've GoneAnd Then It HappenedWhile My Eyes Were ClosedI Did a Bad ThingTen Reasons Not to Fall in LoveThe Last Thing She Told Me***