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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
by Paula PoundstonePaula Poundstone takes a humorous look at history and other things
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
by Paula PoundstonePart memoir, part monologue, with a dash of startling honesty, There’s Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say features biographies of legendary historical figures from which Paula Poundstone can’t help digressing to tell her own story. Mining gold from the lives of Abraham Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and Beethoven, among others, the eccentric and utterly inimitable mind of Paula Poundstone dissects, observes, and comments on the successes and failures of her own life with surprising candor and spot-on comedic timing in this unique laugh-out-loud book.If you like Paula Poundstone’s ironic and blindingly intelligent humor, you’ll love this wryly observant, funny, and touching book.Paula Poundstone on . . .The sources of her self-esteem: “A couple of years ago I was reunited with a guy I knew in the fifth grade. He said, “All the other fifth-grade guys liked the pretty girls, but I liked you.” It’s hard to know if a guy is sincere when he lays it on that thick.The battle between fatigue and informed citizenship: I play a videotape of The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer every night, but sometimes I only get as far as the theme song (da da-da-da da-ah) before I fall asleep. Sometimes as soon as Margaret Warner says whether or not Jim Lehrer is on vacation I drift right off. Somehow just knowing he’s well comforts me.The occult: I need to know exactly what day I’m gonna die so that I don’t bother putting away leftovers the night before.TV’s misplaced priorities: Someday in the midst of the State of the Union address they’ll break in with, “We interrupt this program to bring you a little clip from Bewitched.”Travel: In London I went to the queen’s house. I went as a tourist—she didn’t invite me so she could pick my brain: “What do you think of my face on the pound? Too serious?”Air-conditioning in Florida: If it were as cold outside in the winter as they make it inside in the summer, they’d put the heat on. It makes no sense.The scandal: The judge said I was the best probationer he ever had. Talk about proud.With a foreword by Mary Tyler Moore
There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road Except Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos
by Jim HightowerA radio commentator and former Texas commissioner of agriculture offers his no-holds-barred, populist views on American politics and culture, showing how the government, the media, and large corporations have foreclosed on the American dream."
There's Something about Merry (Mistletoe Romance #2)
by Codi Hall"Codi Hall brings all the feels."—Monica Murphy, New York Times bestselling authorCurl up this Christmas with a fun, festive romcom full of Christmas tree farm shenanigans and a romance between an outdoorsy single dad and the kind, ambitious, Christmas-loving neighbor he can't stop thinking about.A guarded single dad. A woman scared to love. Clark Griffin and Merry Winters are determined to be friends and nothing more. But they've been anonymously flirting with each other online, and with a little Christmas magic and the help of a precocious kid, these two might just get their one wish this year."A fun, engaging, and romantic read that is perfect for Christmastime!" —The Nerd Daily for Nick and Noel's Christmas Playlist
There's Something about Sweetie: When Dimple Met Rishi; There's Something About Sweetie; 10 Things I Hate About Pinky
by Sandhya MenonAn NPR Favorite Book of 2019 &“Adorable, joyous.&” —BuzzFeed &“I&’m head-over-heels for this charming, funny, romantic, life-affirming book.&” —Becky Albertalli, New York Times bestselling author of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and Leah on the Offbeat The irresistible companion novel to the New York Times bestseller When Dimple Met Rishi, which follows Rishi&’s brother, Ashish, and a confident, self-proclaimed fat athlete named Sweetie as they both discover what love means to them.Ashish Patel didn&’t know love could be so…sucky. After being dumped by his ex-girlfriend, his mojo goes AWOL. Even worse, his parents are annoyingly, smugly confident they could find him a better match. So, in a moment of weakness, Ash challenges them to set him up. The Patels insist that Ashish date an Indian-American girl—under contract. Per subclause 1(a), he&’ll be taking his date on &“fun&” excursions like visiting the Hindu temple and his eccentric Gita Auntie. Kill him now. How is this ever going to work? Sweetie Nair is many things: a formidable track athlete who can outrun most people in California, a loyal friend, a shower-singing champion. Oh, and she&’s also fat. To Sweetie&’s traditional parents, this last detail is the kiss of death. Sweetie loves her parents, but she&’s so tired of being told she&’s lacking because she&’s fat. She decides it&’s time to kick off the Sassy Sweetie Project, where she&’ll show the world (and herself) what she&’s really made of. Ashish and Sweetie both have something to prove. But with each date they realize there&’s an unexpected magic growing between them. Can they find their true selves without losing each other?
There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell: A Novel of Sewer Pipes, Pageant Queens, and Big Trouble
by Laurie NotaroThe first novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club is a rollicking tale of small-town peculiarity, dark secrets, and one extraordinary beauty pageant. When her husband is offered a post at a small university, Maye is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. While she loves the odd little town, there is one thing she didn’t anticipate: just how heartbreaking it would be leaving...
There's a Bat in Bunk Five
by Paula DanzigerOn her own for the first time, 14-year-old Marcy tries to cope with the new people and situations she encounters while working as a counselor at an arts camp.
There's a Bear on My Chair
by Ross CollinsPoor Mouse! A bear has settled in his favorite chair, and that chair just isn’t big enough for two. Mouse tries all kinds of tactics to move pesky Bear, but nothing works. Once Mouse has gone, Bear gets up and walks home. But what’s that? Is that a mouse in Bear’s house?
There's a Box in the Garage You Can Beat With a Stick
by Michael TeigMichael Teig's long-awaited second collection is the perfect poetry companion: witty, intriguing, and self-effacing as it picks up overheard conversations and the accidental encounters of everyday life. As Stephen Dobyns wrote, Teig's poems "have this ability to make the world fresh again and make us realize once again why we love the world, despite its failings and our own."
There's a Box in the Garage You Can Beat With a Stick (American Poets Continuum)
by Michael TeigMichael Teig’s long-awaited second collection is the perfect poetry companion: witty, intriguing, and self-effacing as it picks up overheard conversations and the accidental encounters of everyday life. As Stephen Dobyns wrote, Teig's poems "have this ability to make the world fresh again and make us realize once again why we love the world, despite its failings and our own."
There's a Dead Person Following My Sister Around
by Vivian Vande VeldeWhen Ted's five-year-old sister, Vicki, invents an imaginary friend, no one is too concerned . . . except that Vicki's friend has the never-popular name of Marella, and unlike most imaginary friends, Marella can move things. Ted might think Marella is a ghost, but why would a ghost haunt Vicki, of all people? And why would she suddenly move into a house Ted's family has lived in for ages? And why is Marella terrified of another ghost, a dark figure who seems to be hunting Ted? Hilarious, haunting, and unexpectedly moving, There's a Dead Person Following My Sister Around is Vivian Vande Velde at her frightening best.
There's a Dragon in Your Book (Who's In Your Book?)
by Tom FletcherOH LOOK! The cutest baby DRAGON has hatched inside YOUR book! Get ready for another lively, interactive read-aloud in the Who's In Your Book series!This infectious read-aloud invites kids to use their powers of imagination--along with some stamping, blowing, and flapping--to save their book from an adorable baby dragon's flammable sneezes! First, you'll see there's an egg in your book. Then, a darling little dragon hatches from it! But whatever you do, don't tickle its nose, because you don't want it to sneeze. ACHOO! UH-OH!Bestselling author and musician Tom Fletcher and illustrator Greg Abbott have once again created a creature that readers will fall in love with--and want to play with--again and again! Don't miss a single story in the Who's In Your Book series There's a Monster In Your Book There's a Dragon In Your Book There's an Elf In Your Book There's an Alien in Your Book...and more books to come!
There's a Fly Guy in My Soup (Fly Guy #12)
by Tedd ArnoldAt a fancy hotel dinner, Fly Guy gets into some trouble--and the restaurant's soup!When Buzz and his family have dinner in a fancy hotel's restaurant, Fly Guy isn't allowed in. After searching through the hotel's trash, Fly Guy smells a wonderful aroma coming from the restaurant's kitchen.Fly Guy causes some messy mayhem in the restaurant, and in the end, everyone needs a bath!
There's a Hole in the Log on the Bottom of the Lake
by Loren LongBuilt for giggles and fun read-alouds, this classic children's song has been adapted by #1 New York Times bestselling illustrator of Love and Otis, Loren Long!"One to visit again and again..." --Publishers WeeklyThere's a log on the bottom of the lakeThere's a log on the bottom of the lakeThere's a log?There's a log!There's a log on the bottom of the lake.But it turns out there's a a whole lot more than just a log on the bottom of this lake!A cumulative text featuring repetition and tongue-twisters combine with gorgeous illustrations from New York Times bestselling illustrator Loren Long for a book kids will clamor for at storytime. Endpapers include sheet music and lyrics for kids and parents to have their own singalong!
There's a Lion in the Forest!
by Mônica CarnesiEveryone knows there are no lions in the forests of South America . . . or are there?Toucan heard it first. It was deep. It was growly. It was a deep, growly growl. And that can mean only one thing: THERE&’S A LION IN THE FOREST! But how can that be? Everyone knows that lions don&’t live in tropical forests. But the growls keep coming—and now even Capybara and Coati are anxious, especially when they get a glimpse through the trees of a long, terrifying tail and a thick, menacing mane . . . With a rhythmic text that begs to be read aloud, Mônica Carnesi&’s clever tale illustrates the importance of not rushing to conclusions. Young readers will get a kick out of sleuthing along with the forest animals as they try to get to the bottom of this sweetly suspenseful mystery.
There's a Lion in the Library!
by Dave SkinnerLittle Lucy Lupin is sweet and dimpled - and a dreadful LIAR. The trouble is, it's impossible not to believe her - she's so perfectly cute. Not once, not twice, but three times the library is evacuated when Lucy says there's a terrifying lion on the loose. But what will happen when Lucy's lie comes true . . .?A hilarious reimagining of The Boy Who Cried Wolf - with a truly DELICIOUS twist!
There's a Monster in Your Book (Who's In Your Book?)
by Tom FletcherUH OH! There's a MONSTER in YOUR book! Shake, wiggle, and tickle the monster out in this interactive bedtime read-aloud that launched the Who's In Your Book series! With the irresistible pull of Hervé Tullet&’s Press Here and the charm of The Monster at the End of This Book, this inviting and interactive read-aloud will have kids tilting, spinning, and shaking the book to get the adorable little monster out! That&’s right! He&’s out of the book . . . and in their room somewhere. OH-NO!! Bestselling author and musician Tom Fletcher and illustrator Greg Abbott have created a monster that readers will fall in love with—and want to play with—again and again! It will get your own little monster tuckered out and snuggled in! Don't miss a single story in the Who's In Your Book series! • There's a Monster In Your Book • There's a Dragon In Your Book • There's an Elf In Your Book • There's an Alien in Your Book ...and more books to come! Children's Choice Award Honor Book (K-2nd grade) "Playful, engaging, and full of opportunities for empathy—a raucous storytime hit." —Kirkus Reviews
There's a Nightmare in My Closet (There's Something in My Room Series)
by Mercer MayerThe pesky nightmare in the closet won't stay in there at night, even with the door closed all the way. When he gets out, what do you do? Comfort him and put him to bed, of course! The ultimate afraid-of-the-dark story has helped generations of kids deal with the nightmares in their own closets.A perennial favorite.
There's a Pest in the Garden! (The Giggle Gang)
by Jan ThomasSomeone&’s eating all the veggies in this colorful picture book with &“a satisfying, funny conclusion&” (Kirkus Reviews).There&’s a pest in the garden and he&’s eating all the vegetables! But Duck has a plan to save the day (well, sort of)… Featuring Jan Thomas&’s wonderfully wacky humor, rowdy repetitions, and hilarious characters, this book is sure to have young readers laughing out loud!
There's a Sea Witch in My Swim Class (Camp Lil Vills)
by Sam HayCalling all campers! Lilliputian Villages Summer Camp (also known as "Camp Lil' Vills") is the perfect spot for all the things that make camp fun: outdoor activities, camp songs, new friends, and . . . evil villains?To beat the heat, Bloom and Benji explore all that Lake Whisper has to offer: flying dolphins, enchanted sand shaping, wish fish, even sea-star-gazing! Benji wants to dive into all the activities, while Bloom wishes water magic were less unpredictable. She also thinks there's something fishy about Ursula, a sea witch who helps fellow campers . . . for a price. And soon the friends realize that Ursula might be after a prize that could sweep the whole camp away. Can Bloom overcome her fear of the lake and save the day—or will she be as helpless as a fish out of water?Catch all the Camp Lil' Vills chapter books!My Bunkmate Hates PuppiesMy Teammate is a Hot HeadThere's a Sea Witch in My Swim Class
There's a Spouse in My House
by Peter ScottLaughter is the best medicine in this hilarious and insightful guide to surviving the start of a marriage The wedding was beautiful, the honeymoon was magical, but now comes the hard part. In There’s a Spouse in My House, Peter Scott guides newlyweds through the peaks and valleys of the first years of marriage with a generous dose of humor and a hard-won helping of personal experience. Covering topics from cohabitation ("Wives are surprised to learn that there must always be a minimum of fourteen different mustard varieties in the fridge”) to holidays ("You have six months to tell your families where you’ll be spending Thanksgiving in 2047”) and everything in between, There’s a Spouse in My House shows newlyweds how to make it through those first years with both their sense of humor and love for each other still intact. .
There's a Superhero in Your Book (Who's In Your Book?)
by Tom FletcherWhoosh! A SUPERHERO has landed in YOUR book! Get ready for another lively, interactive read-aloud in the Who's In Your Book series!Use the power of your imagination to unlock this adorable Superhero's powers. But you'd better act fast before The Scribbler ruins your book completely! Readers will enjoy interactively tapping, stretching, and whizzing this book around as they help Superhero defeat the villain and save the day--while discovering the real power of kindness. Bestselling author and musician Tom Fletcher and illustrator Greg Abbott have once again created a creature that readers will fall in love with--and want to play with--again and again!Don't miss a single story in the Who's In Your Book series!There's a Monster In Your BookThere's a Dragon In Your BookThere's an Elf In Your BookThere's an Alien in Your Book...and more books to come!
There's a Unicorn in Your Book (Who's In Your Book?)
by Tom FletcherGalloping glitter! A unicorn has landed in YOUR book! An engaging new adventure from the team that brought you There's a Monster in Your Book and its companions.Unicorns love to sing, but this unicorn isn't singing because a worry gremlin has crept in! Help unicorn up by using your finger wand and listening to its worries in this interactive book with an important social-emotional message about expressing your emotions. For more read-aloud fun in the Who's In Your Book series, look for these: There's a Dragon in Your Book, There's an Elf in Your Book, There's an Alien in Your Book, There's a Superhero in Your Book, and There's a Witch in Your Book! Tom Fletcher is one of Britain's bestselling children's authors (in addition to being a rock star!), and his YouTube videos have been viewed tens of millions of times.
There's a Witch in Your Book (Who's In Your Book?)
by Tom FletcherJust in time for Halloween, an adorable little witch has landed in YOUR book! An engaging new adventure from the team that brought you There's a Monster in Your Book and its companions.A grumpy little witch has thrown a magic spell at you! If you can capture it, you can use your finger wand to make magic yourself in this interactive book. But, be careful! Your bewitched finger wand might be more powerful than you think! Look for Tom Fletcher and Greg Abbott's companion books for more read-aloud fun: There's a Dragon in Your Book, There's an Elf in Your Book, There's an Alien in Your Book, and There's a Superhero in Your Book! Tom Fletcher is one of Britain's bestselling children's authors (in addition to being a rock star!), and his YouTube videos have been viewed tens of millions of times.
There's a Wocket in My Pocket
by Dr SeussBright and Early Books "... revolutionize the approach to reading for young readers. These delightful books . . . stir the imagination and create a taste for more and more reading materials." - Dr. Margaret B. Parke, Professor. Brooklyn College. The Cat in the Hat proudly presents books for the youngest of the young! The stories are brief and funny, the words are few and easy and have a happy, catchy rhythm, and the pictures are clear and colorful clues to the text.