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Your Pet Crocodile: A Book of Dos and Don'ts (Fountas & Pinnell Classroom, Guided Reading)
by Annie Howe David CatrowNIMAC-sourced textbook. Impossible Pets. People have all kinds of pets— from birds to snakes, hedgehogs, monkeys, wallabies, and even big cats. It's legal in most places, with the right license. But wild animals can't be trained, the way you can train a puppy. And it's really not fair to force them to live in a house or an apartment. So laugh at this silly story about a pet crocodile, but stick to pets who adjust well to living with humans. Many cats and dogs are looking for a good home.
Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team
by Winston Rowntree Daniel O'BrienFans of How They Croaked: The Awful Ends of the Awfully Famous and Kid Presidents can draft their own presidential fantasy team, based on these hilarious-but-true profiles of our past leaders. What if a zombie apocalypse or a robot uprising threatened the nation and you had the power to recruit some of the nation's finest presidents to help save the day? By studying the most successful squads in history, Daniel O'Brien has identified the perfect ingredients for a victorious team. Which president would you choose for: the Brain, the Brawn, the Moral Compass, the Loose Cannon, and the Roosevelt? Choose wisely--the fate of the world is in your hands!
Your Royal Hostage: A Jemima Shore Mystery
by Antonia Fraser'We don't want to hurt her. We must remember that. All of us. She is after all innocent ... Well, isn't she?'As preparations for the royal wedding advance, a secret organisation is formulating plans that will have dangerous consequences. They need a gesture that will call attention to the rights and wrongs of those who have no voice of their own. And what better way than to target the royal bride?Meanwhile, Jemima Shore is grappling with the royal wedding in her own way - as a commentator. So she happens to be on hand when things go badly wrong...
Your Royal Hostage: A Jemima Shore Mystery (Jemima Shore)
by Lady Antonia Fraser'We don't want to hurt her. We must remember that. All of us. She is after all innocent ... Well, isn't she?'As preparations for the royal wedding advance, a secret organisation is formulating plans that will have dangerous consequences. They need a gesture that will call attention to the rights and wrongs of those who have no voice of their own. And what better way than to target the royal bride?Meanwhile, Jemima Shore is grappling with the royal wedding in her own way - as a commentator. So she happens to be on hand when things go badly wrong...
Your School Is the Best! (The Curious Cockroach)
by Maggie HutchingsThis picture book follows the story of an eager cockroach and his family who hitch a ride to school — with hilarious results. For fans of I Don't Want to Be a Frog.Everyone&’s favorite cockroach from Your Birthday Was the Best! is back, and this time he&’s going to school . . . and bringing his whole family along for the ride!From show-and-tell to arts and crafts, this little stowaway can&’t wait to try it all . . . and maybe become the new teachers' pet!Charming, hilarious and just a tiny bit disgusting, this is a school tale with a twist.
Your Sh*tty Family: Real Texts. Crazy Relatives.
by Uninspirational“A hysterical new collection of text exchanges from moms, dads, grandparents, and siblings that prove, well, relatives are shitty to one another.” —BroBibleYour Sh*tty Family contains all the hilarity, confusion, and frustration of a visit home without the expensive plane tickets, the tiny twin bed, or any of the misery of actually having to spend time with your family. This book, based on the popular Instagram account of the same name, features actual text-message conversations between various family members. Your Sh*tty Family presents screenshots of these conversations that are relatable to anyone who has ever taught their parents to text. Topics range from hilarious misunderstandings of slang, to children who over-share, to siblings who mercilessly make fun of each other, all organized into outrageous categories such as Momster, Dadvice, Group Chats, and more!
Your Story Matters: A Surprisingly Practical Guide to Writing
by Richard ScrimgerA hilarious how-to on creative writing that makes the writing process fun for aspiring middle-school authors. For fans of Writing Radar by Jack Gantos.Interested in writing but don't know how to get started?Love reading and want to know more about how stories are created?Like ridiculous tales about troublesome sisters, peanut butter and steamrollers?Look no further!Esteemed writer Richard Scrimger is here to answer all your burning questions about writing: whether about plot, character, structure, story hooks or commas. (Actually, don't ask him about commas, it's not that kind of book.)Using clever (so he thinks) analogies, (sort of) brilliant examples and funny (well . . .) anecdotes, he will give you (truly) useful tools to start you on your way as a writer. And if that's not enough, comic illustrations by D. McFadzean are the pepperoni on the writing pizza! (That will make sense once you read the book.)So come, read this book and start your writing journey!
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksYour Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration--into one handsome volume. Ever accidentally sent a mass e-mail to your office describing your Not Safe-For-Work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a co-dependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? Good. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, Shaft living in the suburbs, a classic-rock DJ suffering a nervous breakdown, the occasional list--into one handsome, convenient volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks's writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding and honeymoon in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks's work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksYour Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration--into one handsome volume. Ever accidentally sent a mass e-mail to your office describing your Not Safe-For-Work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a co-dependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? Good. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, Shaft living in the suburbs, a classic-rock DJ suffering a nervous breakdown, the occasional list--into one handsome, convenient volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks's writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding and honeymoon in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks's work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksYour Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration--into one handsome volume. Ever accidentally sent a mass e-mail to your office describing your Not Safe-For-Work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a co-dependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? Good. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, Shaft living in the suburbs, a classic-rock DJ suffering a nervous breakdown, the occasional list--into one handsome, convenient volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks's writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding and honeymoon in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks's work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksEver accidentally sent a mass email to your office describing your not-safe-for-work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a codependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? No? Well . . . huh. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces -- Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration -- into one handsome volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks' writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks' work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
You're a Good Friend, Capybara
by Chronicle BooksAn ode to friendship delivered by the capybara and their many animal friends!Whether they're sharing their favorite snacks, laughing along with your best jokes, or cheering you on through thick and thin, capybaras know what it means to be a good friend!This lighthearted ode to friendship is delivered by capybaras, gentle giants who are known for their calm demeanor and social friendships with other animals, from dogs and monkeys to turtles and birds. This gift book features charming photography of these cuddly creatures and their assorted animal companions, paired with sweet advice and odes to friendship, straight from nature's experts. This celebration of the capybara's community, love, and kindness towards everyone—regardless of whether they have hooves, claws, or shells—is a must-have gift for friends of all sizes.ANIMAL FRIENDSHIPS: Whether it's playing with puppies, basking with caimans, getting into mischief with monkeys, sharing a bite to eat with bunnies, or giving a ride to a butterfly, You're A Good Friend, Capybara is full of unexpectedly delightful real life photos of animals being friends.FRIENDS AROUND THE WORLD: Although they are native to South America, these lovable giant rodents have gained huge followings around the world for their photogenic friendships and chill demeanor, and can be found at many zoos and refuges globally.A GIFT FOR FRIENDS: This book is the perfect feel good present for any friend. Whether it's someone you see every day or your far away bestie, this little book is full of sweet, funny, and heartfelt reminders of what makes a good friend. Perfect for birthdays, Galentine's Day, wedding party gifts, and any occasion to say, "You're a good friend!"
You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You
by The BelieverA compendium of advice from the producers, writers, and actors of The Office, Saturday Night Live, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Knocked Up, Flight of the Conchords, The Daily Show, Arrested Development, Reno 911!, and The Hangover along with other people who should really never give advice. In these pages Fred Armisen offers help telling your dad you're a lesbian--give him the phone number and he'll do it for you. Mindy Kaling provides guidance on ending things with your mistress--dude, you totally have to kill her. Rainn Wilson offers insight on contacting that girl you dreamed about last night--he has created all-purpose web portal for such interactions. Amy Sedaris identifies the best way to a man's heart--bone saw through the chest cavity. Aziz Ansari, Judd Apatow, Fred Armisen, Maria Bamford, Todd Barry, Samantha Bee, Michael Ian Black, Andy Borowitz, Michael Cera, Vernon Chatman, Rob Corddry, David Cross, Larry Doyle, Paul Feig, Jim Gaffigan, Zach Galifianakis, Janeane Garofalo, Daniel Handler, Todd Hanson, Tim Heidecker, Ed Helms, Buck Henry, Mindy Kaling, John Lee, Thomas Lennon, Al Madrigal, Aasif Mandvi, Marc Maron, Adam McKay, Eugene Mirman, Morgan Murphy, Bob Odenkirk, John Oliver, Patton Oswalt, Martha Plimpton, Harold Ramis, Amy Sedaris, Michael Showalter, Sarah Silverman, Paul F. Tompkins, Sarah Vowell, David Wain, Eric Wareheim, Rainn Wilson, Lizz WinsteadFrom the Trade Paperback edition.
You're a Mean One, Matthew Prince (Boy Meets Boy #2)
by Timothy JanovskyAn "effervescent" (Rachel Lynn Solomon) stand-alone Christmas LGBTQIA+ New Adult RomCom, perfect for fans of Schitt's Creek and Red White & Royal Blue.BRING A LITTLE JOY TO THE WORLD? NOT TODAY, SANTA.Matthew Prince is young, rich, and thoroughly spoiled. So what if his parents barely remember he exists and the press is totally obsessed with him? He's on top of the world. But one major PR misstep later, and Matthew is cut off and shipped away to spend the holidays in his grandparents' charming small town hellscape. Population: who cares?It's bad enough he's stuck in some festive winter wonderland—it's even worse that he has to share space with Hector Martinez, an obnoxiously attractive local who's unimpressed with anything and everything Matthew does.Just when it looks like the holiday season is bringing nothing but heated squabbles, the charity gala loses its coordinator and Matthew steps in as a saintly act to get home early on good behavior...with Hector as his maddening plus-one. But even a Grinch can't resist the unexpected joy of found family, and in the end, the forced proximity and infectious holiday cheer might be enough to make a lonely Prince's heart grow three sizes this year.While part of a series, this book stands alone.People Are Raving About Timothy Janovsky:"This book made my queer heart so very full and deeply happy."—Anita Kelly"A cinematic daydream guaranteed to steal your heart."—Julian Winters"Wonderfully upbeat and sweet."—Suzanne Park"Full of hope and heart."—Alexandria Bellefleur"[A] fresh, sweet, and swoony love story that blends coming-of-age comedy with the nuances of exploring sexual identity."—Alison Cochrun
You're a Vampire - That Sucks!
by Domenick DicceBeing bitten by and turned into a vampire isn't the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker--tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go. As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, "Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101--such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers--to Vampire Graduate Studies--such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire.This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout.From the Trade Paperback edition.
You're Awesome AF: Here's a Book (Because It's Not Like I'm Going To Tell You to Your Face)
by Summersdale PublishersYour A-game is so strong you don’t even need a B-gameYou’re too modest to say it yourself, but you’re kind of a legend. And you need to be reminded sometimes, OK? This collection of unbeatable quotes from fellow icons and idols also contains dozens of witty one-liners explaining why you’re a flamingo in a flock of pigeons. There’s no denying it – YOU’RE AWESOME AF!
You're Awesome AF: Here's a Book (Because It's Not Like I'm Going To Tell You to Your Face)
by Summersdale PublishersYour A-game is so strong you don’t even need a B-gameYou’re too modest to say it yourself, but you’re kind of a legend. And you need to be reminded sometimes, OK? This collection of unbeatable quotes from fellow icons and idols also contains dozens of witty one-liners explaining why you’re a flamingo in a flock of pigeons. There’s no denying it – YOU’RE AWESOME AF!
You're Better Than Me: A Memoir
by Bonnie McFarlaneIn the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively readable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy-person, from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane. It took Bonnie McFarlane a lot of time, effort, and tequila to get to where she is today. Before she starred on Last Comic Standing and directed her own films, she was an inappropriately loud tomboy growing up on her parents’ farm in Cold Lake, Canada, wetting her pants during standardized tests and killing chickens. Desperate to find “her people”—like-minded souls who wouldn’t judge her because she was honest, ruthless, and okay, sometimes really rude—Bonnie turned to comedy. In her explosively funny and no-holds-barred memoir, Bonnie tells it like it is, and lays bare all of her smart (and her not-so-smart) decisions along her way to finding her friends and her comedic voice.From fistfights in elementary school to riding motorcycles to the World Famous Comic Strip, to Late Night with David Letterman, and through to her infamous “c” word bit on Last Comic Standing, You’re Better Than Me is her funny and outrageous trip through the good, bad, and ugly of her life in comedy. McFarlane doesn’t always keep her mouth shut when she should, but at least she makes people laugh. And that’s all that matters, right?
You're Dad: A Little Book for Fathers (And the People Who Love Them)
by Liz ClimoThe hilarious and heartwarming companion to international bestselling author Liz Climo’s You’re Mom From new dads to those who’ve been around the block, dads who go to work to those who are at home, and all the dads in between, You're Dad is a touching tribute to fathers everywhere.With humor, heart, and adorable drawings, Liz Climo celebrates fatherhood in all its shapes and sizes (and species). Featuring different types of dads and the paths they can travel, Climo’s whimsical animal illustrations take us through the adventures of fatherhood, commemorating the laughter and the tears as well as the stumbles and the triumphs.Perfect for dads, the dad-like, any and all parents, and the people who love them, this sweet collection of fatherly love will move and delight.
You're Doing a Great Job!: 100 Ways You're Winning at Parenting
by Biz Ellis Theresa ThornStop feeling like sh*t for being a mom—laugh-out-loud affirmations for every parent Guess what? This “parenting book” is not designed to make new parents feel bad. Authors and co-hosts of the popular comedy podcast One Bad Mother, Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn, know firsthand that raising kids is tough. They also know that, most likely, parents are winning more than they’re failing. This book reminds parents that it’s okay to have a low bar. Celebrate what did happen, not what didn’t, including gems such as: Did you get up this morning? Great! You’re doing an awesome job! Your kid fell asleep? Even if it was just for two hours, that’s amazing. Good job! Has your kid eaten? That’s probably your doing, so yeah, you’re a winner! The perfect gift for the growing family, You Are Doing a Great Job! is the much-needed reminder to screw all expectations and advice. It belongs on the shelf next to Go the Fu*k to Sleep and Let’s Panic About Babies. Or better yet, tear out the pages and hang them up.
You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive
by Tom PapaComedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays.Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we’re not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you’re doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you’ll realize you’re actually doing great. Here’s the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best LifeDon't Open the MailI'm So BakedI Love Your Love Handles Don't Go TubingShut Up and EatRecalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You’re doing great!
You're Going to Love This Book!
by Jory JohnSure to bring a smile to the faces of even the grumpiest readers, this laugh-out-loud picture book from #1 New York Times–bestselling author Jory John and internationally acclaimed illustrator Olivier Tallec is hilarious enough to come back to again and again.Attention, reader: You’re going to LOVE this book!No, really, you are. It’s got everything you could ever want: comedy, drama, action, heart. Plus—are you ready? It’s got homework! Ahh yeah! And a trip to the best place ever, the dentist! Ahhhh yeahhh! Additionally—brace yourself—it’s got raisins! Nature’s candy. AHH YEAHHH! This book is so great, you won’t be able to stop reading it. I DARE you not to have fun.
You're Grand: The Irishwoman's Secret Guide to Life
by Tara FlynnIrish Women have been around for ages - some would say almost as long as Irish Men. We've learned a lot in that time but, until now, we haven't shared it. Perhaps being shushed by priests/foreign invaders/the wind for too long has taken its toll - but our time has finally come to speak out.Here comedian Tara Flynn shares the wisdom of the Irishwoman, and why she holds the keys to success in life and how to live it - especially the rough bits. Armed with her all-purpose 'You're grand' philosophy, there is nothing the Irishwoman can't weather (even the weather). Need dating advice? Ask an Irishwoman. Need a recipe for brown bread? We're your gals. Worried about death? Don't be! Put the fun back in funeral!Covering all things grand, from the grand basics starter pack, to how to spice up your love life (a lesson in 'Irotica', anyone?) - if this book doesn't change your life (and it will), it might just help you laugh at it.
You're Grand: The Irishwoman's Secret Guide to Life
by Tara FlynnIrish Women have been around for ages - some would say almost as long as Irish Men. We've learned a lot in that time but, until now, we haven't shared it. Perhaps being shushed by priests/foreign invaders/the wind for too long has taken its toll - but our time has finally come to speak out. Here comedian Tara Flynn shares the wisdom of the Irishwoman, and why she holds the keys to success in life and how to live it - especially the rough bits. Armed with her all-purpose 'You're grand' philosophy, there is nothing the Irishwoman can't weather (even the weather). Need dating advice? Ask an Irishwoman. Need a recipe for brown bread? We're your gals. Worried about death? Don't be! Put the fun back in funeral! Covering all things grand, from the grand basics starter pack, to how to spice up your love life (a lesson in 'Irotica', anyone?) - if this book doesn't change your life (and it will), it might just help you laugh at it.
You're in Good Paws
by Maureen FergusWhen Leo arrives at the hospital, he is surprised to find it run by animals! A hilarious story featuring animals in human situations, perfect for fans of Zootopia and A Sick Day for Amos McGee.Slightly distracted parents accidentally take their son, Leo, to the animal hospital to get his tonsils out. Luckily, taking care of a human doesn't ruffle any feathers among the hospital staff. The chicken at the admissions desk is welcoming, the bear orderly is friendly and wise Dr. Stan inspires tremendous confidence despite being a mouse. Is the plastic cone really necessary, though? In this sweet and hilarious story, a child discovers that a trip to the hospital can be a positive experience--even when the hospital isn't quite up to code . . .