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Untorn Tickets
by Paul BurkeNotting Hill - 1978. Dave Kelly and Andy Zymanczyk are classmates at a strict Catholic school. Both, desperate to escape their stifling backgrounds, get part-time work in the local cinema.Here they form a binding friendship and, with the help of one charismatic cinema manager, embark on a voyage of discovery. Dave falls in love with Rachel, a Jewish girl who also wants to escape from her strict religious background, while Andy falls for a girl he knows he can never have.When the cinema is threatened with closure, the boys realise that more than their new-found freedom is at risk...
Untorn Tickets
by Paul BurkeNotting Hill - 1978. Dave Kelly and Andy Zymanczyk are classmates at a strict Catholic school. Both, desperate to escape their stifling backgrounds, get part-time work in the local cinema.Here they form a binding friendship and, with the help of one charismatic cinema manager, embark on a voyage of discovery. Dave falls in love with Rachel, a Jewish girl who also wants to escape from her strict religious background, while Andy falls for a girl he knows he can never have.When the cinema is threatened with closure, the boys realise that more than their new-found freedom is at risk...
Untouched
by Sandra FieldLessons in SeductionTechnically, Finn Marston was Jenessa's new employer and she ought to be nice to him.... But thirty seconds in his company was enough for her to establish that Finn would try the patience of a saint! Trouble was he was also georgeous.Men had never held much fascination for Jenessa Reed, but Finn Marston was certainly a persuasive argument! She wanted him, and he didn't seem averse to being target practice for a twenty-six-year-old virgin! But could Jenessa take into her bed a man she didn't even like, let alone love?"Samantha Field pens a phenomenal love story."-Romantic Times
Untouched by His Diamonds (What Every Woman Wants Ser. #1)
by Lucy EllisThe only thing this Russian's money can't buy...To merciless Serge Marinov, Clementine Chevalier's Mona Lisa smile and siren's body could incite a male riot! She's so bewitching that ground rules are required: he'll give her nights of endless pleasure-but in the stark light of Saint Petersburg's dawn he'll be gone.Serge is Clementine's secret fantasy come to life, but she has no interest in money-his diamonds leave her cold. So she sets some terms of her own: she won't be warming his bed until he shows her she's more than just this magnate's plaything!
Untouched by Human Hands: Stories
by Robert SheckleyPeople hunt and kill one another as public entertainment and to win prizes in &“Seventh Victim,&” the short version of Sheckley&’s novel The 10th Victim, which was made into a movie.The twelve other stories in this collection are &“The Monsters,&” &“Cost of Living,&” &“The Altar,&” &“Shape,&” &“The Impacted Man,&” &“Untouched by Human Hands,&” &“The King&’s Wishes,&” &“Warm,&” &“The Demons,&” &“Specialist,&” &“Ritual,&” and &“Beside Still Waters.&”From the very beginning of his career, Robert Sheckley was recognized by fans, reviewers, and fellow authors as a master storyteller and the wittiest satirist working in the science fiction field. Open Road is proud to republish his acclaimed body of work, with nearly thirty volumes of full-length fiction and short story collections. Rediscover, or discover for the first time, a master of science fiction who, according to the New York Times, was &“a precursor to Douglas Adams.&”
Untouched Until Marriage (Wedlocked!)
by Chantelle ShawWhen infamous Raul Carducci learns that a little baby may challenge his inheritance he will stop at nothing-a new Carducci heir will not take away what is rightfully his.To safeguard baby Gino, unassuming Libby Maynard has been forced to pretend she is his mother-but she hasn't counted on having to convince the wolfish Raul Carducci of her deception.And when Raul, with his achingly seductive voice, asks her to marry him, Libby is powerless to refuse...even if their wedding night will blow her cover!
Unusual Chickens for the Exceptional Poultry Farmer (Penworthy Picks Middle School Ser.)
by Kelly Jones Katie KathFans of Polly Horvath or Roald Dahl will love this quirky story of a determined girl, and some extraordinary chickens.<P><P> Twelve-year-old Sophie Brown feels like a fish out of water when she and her parents move from Los Angeles to the farm they’ve inherited from a great-uncle. But farm life gets more interesting when a cranky chicken appears and Sophie discovers the hen can move objects with the power of her little chicken brain: jam jars, the latch to her henhouse, the entire henhouse....<P> And then more of her great-uncle’s unusual chickens come home to roost. Determined, resourceful Sophie learns to care for her flock, earning money for chicken feed, collecting eggs. But when a respected local farmer tries to steal them, Sophie must find a way to keep them (and their superpowers) safe.<P> Told in letters to Sophie’s abuela, quizzes, a chicken-care correspondence course, to-do lists, and more, Unusual Chickens is a quirky, clucky classic in the making. <P><b> Nominee for the 2018 Young Reader's Choice Award </b> <i>(Pacific Northwest Library Association)</i>
Unusual Uses For Olive Oil (Professor Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld #4)
by Alexander McCall SmithLife is so unfair, and it sends many things to try Professor Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, author of Portuguese Irregular Verbs and pillar of the Institute of Romance Philology in the proud Bavarian city of Regensburg.There is the undeserved rise of his rival (and owner of a one-legged dachshund), Detlev Amadeus Unterholzer; the interminable ramblings of the librarian, Herr Huber; and the condescension of his colleagues with regard to his unmarried state. But when his friend Ophelia Prinzel takes it upon herself to match-make, and duly produces a cheerful heiress with her own Schloss, it appears that the professor's true worth is about to be recognised.Maddening, idiotic and hugely entertaining, von Igelfeld is an inspired comic creation.
Unusual Uses For Olive Oil: A Von Igelfeld Novel (Professor Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld)
by Alexander McCall SmithLife is so unfair, and it sends many things to try Professor Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, author of Portuguese Irregular Verbs and pillar of the Institute of Romance Philology in the proud Bavarian city of Regensburg.There is the undeserved rise of his rival (and owner of a one-legged dachshund), Detlev Amadeus Unterholzer; the interminable ramblings of the librarian, Herr Huber; and the condescension of his colleagues with regard to his unmarried state. But when his friend Ophelia Prinzel takes it upon herself to match-make, and duly produces a cheerful heiress with her own Schloss, it appears that the professor's true worth is about to be recognised.Maddening, idiotic and hugely entertaining, von Igelfeld is an inspired comic creation.
Unusual Uses for Olive Oil (Professor Dr von Igelfeld Series #4)
by Alexander Mccall SmithProfessor Dr. Dr. Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, author of the highly regarded Portuguese Irregular Verbs (200 LTD copies sold!) and a pillar of the Institute of Romance Philology in the proud Bavarian city of Regensburg, finds that life is very difficult these days. His academic rival (and owner of a one-legged dachsund) Detlev-Amadeus Unterholzer has been winning undeserved recognition. With help from the matchmaking Ophelia Prinzel, he stumbles towards a romance with Frau Benz, a charming widow who owns her very own Schloss and a fleet of handsome cars. While on the annual student study retreat in the Alps, von Igelfeld fearlessly plunges 3,000 feet into mountaineering history, only to suffer the ignominy of giving inspirational lectures about the experience. And at a dinner party, he is the only kind soul who can aid the aforementioned unfortunate dachshund, whose sticky wheels are in need of lubrication.
Unusual Ways to Die: History's Weirdest Deaths
by James ProudOver the ages, death has come in some very unpredictable forms. This irreverent little book gathers together some of the most peculiar and outrageous ways that people across the globe have met their untimely ends. Whether shocking or silly, these true stories are proof at least that the grim reaper has a strange sense of humour.
Unusually Stupid Americans: A Compendium of All-American Stupidity
by Kathryn Petras Ross PetrasA hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever SaidEveryone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including•the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception•the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin)•and much more!
Unusually Stupid Celebrities: A Compendium of All-Star Stupidity
by Kathryn Petras Ross PetrasThe Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars' every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals-and prove it doesn't take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: * Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to "possession of a controlled substance" because she can't find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. * Mariah Carey's entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. * Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, "like, French. " * Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is "the two-equals-MC-squared thing," and that an isosceles triangle is "somewhere in Bermuda." Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel-no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.
Unusually Stupid Politicians: Washington's Weak in Review
by Kathryn Petras Ross PetrasKathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying "No comment." Sections include * Extreme Hairsplitting--such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that "it was actually a boiler room" * Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon-- like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror. * Creative Political Excuses--such as "I just discovered I'm Jewish and it's a Holy Day,"--used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to "observe" Yom Kippur * The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos--measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs). This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for "How I Blew My Campaign" and "Worst Campaign Ad," and shares a list of candidates "endorsed by God," as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages--you're about to learn what the definition of "is" is.
Unveiled for the Persian King (Undone!)
by Linda SkyeDarius, King of Persia, has many beautiful women in his harem-but none entice him more than his latest prize: Myrine of Scythia. The princess's overwhelming beauty and provocative dances fill him with lust-and his desire is matched by her own boldness.Myrine has been given to the new king as a tribute, a tantalizing prize for the fierce warrior. But she is no submissive concubine, and her veils hide more than her sensuous curves. If she can capture Darius's attention through a game of seduction, she will have him at her mercy!
The Unwanted Conti Bride: The Billionaire's Ruthless Affair Moretti's Marriage Command The Unwanted Conti Bride The Flaw In Raffaele's Revenge (The Legendary Conti Brothers)
by Tara Pammi"I want to marry you." If Sophia Rossi wants to save her father's business, then merging the Rossi and Conti empires is the only way. Luca Conti broke her heart once before, but this time Sophia's in the driver's seat. Except Luca can still make her body tremble with just a look! Luca has spent years cultivating his Conti Devil reputation to mask the darkness he inherited from his father, a facade that Sophia should be all too familiar with. Still, the shrewd businessman can see the benefits of her proposal... He might not want her as his bride, but he'll enjoy having her in his bed!
The Unwelcome Surprise
by Olga HerreraPerfect for fans of Something's Wrong! and Can I Be Your Dog?, The Unwelcome Surprise is a charming new baby story full of debut author-illustrator Olga Herrera's incredibly humorous art, and that explores the fears and joys that come with change. Every morning, Bongo walks downstairs to get his food, passing his dried-up potted plant, his old stained chair, and his stinky stained carpet. Until one morning...something is different! Something monstrous is in his way! Bongo is beside himself with worry; will it take his walks? What if it eats his food? Or even worse...what if it takes his family?!
Unwrapping the Innocent's Secret (Secret Heirs of Billionaires #30)
by Caitlin CrewsTheir desire haunts him…Will her revelation reunite them?Billionaire Pascal prides himself on his rigid control. So it infuriates him beyond belief that he can’t forget Cecilia, the sweet and innocent woman who saved his life…or the forbidden passion they shared. This Christmas, he’s determined to forget her—until they suddenly come face-to-face!Seeing Pascal again blindsides Cecilia. She gave him more than her innocence during their explosive encounter—she gave him a piece of her heart. Their still-searing chemistry is startling! As is Cecilia’s stunning baby secret…
Unwrapping the Playboy (Matchmaking Mamas #8)
by Marie FerrarellaA single mom seeks help from her former sweetheart and falls in love all over again in this romance from a USA Today–bestselling author.As rakishly handsome as he was successful, attorney Kullen Manetti was a "love 'em and leave 'em" kind of guy. Until Lilli McCall,his long-lost love, suddenly appeared in his office—and turned his carefully crafted world upside down. Lilli had her reasons for leaving Kullen years ago—reasons she'd never dreamed of sharing with him. But now the single mom needed his expert help to fight for what mattered most—her young son. As her custody battle heated up, so did the still-blazing chemistry with Kullen. Against her best-laid plans, she fell hopelessly in love all over again. Only, this time, would she find the courage to stay?
Up (Little Golden Book)
by RH DisneyA Little Golden Book retelling of Disney/Pixar Up! Meet Car and Russell. Carl is old and lonely. Russell is young and looking for a friend. When they’re thrown together on the adventure of a lifetime, they discover that friendships are great at any age! This Little Golden Book retelling of Disney/Pixar Up will appeal to adventurers of all ages.
Up and Down
by Terry FallisThe author of the Stephen Leacock Medal-winning The Best Laid Plans brings his trademark humour and sharp storytelling to a new novel set in the high-stakes world of a global public relations agency. On his first day at Turner King, David Stewart quickly realizes that the world of international PR (affectionately, perhaps ironically, known as "the dark side") is a far cry from his previous job on Parliament Hill. For one, he missed the office memo on the all-black dress code; for another, there are enough acronyms and jargon to make his head spin. Before he even has time to find the washroom, David is assigned a major project: devise a campaign to revitalize North America's interest in the space program - maybe even show NASA's pollsters that watching a shuttle launch is more appealing than going out for lunch with friends. The pressure is on, and before long, David finds himself suggesting the most out-of-this-world idea imaginable: a Citizen Astronaut lottery that would send one Canadian and one American to the International Space Station. Suddenly, David's vaulted into an odyssey of his own, navigating the corporate politics of a big PR agency; wading through the murky but always hilarious waters of Canada-U.S. relations; and trying to hold on to his new job while still doing the right thing. Equal parts clever and satirical, thoughtful and affecting, Up and Down is Terry Fallis at his best, confirming his status as a Canadian literary star.
Up and Down (Funny Bunnies #2)
by David MellingThis bright, bold rhyming story from the creator of the bestselling Hugless Douglas is a wonderfully funny introduction to opposites for the very young and great to read aloud.Follow these hilarious pogo-stick loving bunnies through their crazy day. These bunnies go up and these bunnies go down. Sometimes they're funny and sometimes they frown!Don't miss Funny Bunnies: Rain or Shine - a brilliant introduction to weather.Praise for Hugless Douglas: 'A new Hugless Douglas book is always a cause for celebration.' Daily Mail
Up and Down in the Dales
by Gervase PhinnEscape to the country with Gervase Phinn's heartwarming tales of life as a school inspector in Yorkshire'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily Telegraph______What's your name? I asked the child.'Tequila,' she replied. I'm named after a drink.''Tequila Sunrise,' I murmured.'No,' pouted the child. 'Tequila Braithwaite.'Now in his fourth year as an Inspector for English in the Yorkshire Dales, Gervase Phinn still relishes visiting the schools - whether an inner-city comprehensive fraught with difficulties or a small Dales Primary school where the main danger is one of closure. With endless good humour, he copes with the little surprises that occur round every corner.Some things never change: Mrs Savage roars, Connie rants, and Gervase's colleague in the office play verbal ping-pong. But all this can be put behind him each day when he returns home to his lovely wife, Christine, who is expecting their first baby.Up and Down in the Dales is charming montage of Gervase Phinn's experiences will keep you amused and will win a place in your heart.Gervase Phinn has an extraordinary talent to entertain, and the latest instalment to the Dale Series is heart-warming, wry and will make you laugh out loud.
Up Close: Book 2 (Boywatching #2)
by Chloe BennetIn BOYWATCHING, Chloe and her friends turned their obsession with the mysterious yet strangely alluring St Thomas's boys into a scientific pursuit (with hilarious consequences). In the second book, the thrilling prospect of a joint school play takes up much of everyone's waking (and dreaming) hours. But aside from that, can Chloe hang onto the heaven that is Mark? Will Gemma's reunion with the unpredictable Jezza last? Is Amy destined for greatness in the Olympics, and will Sally ever discover the truth about her absent father? There are tricky times ahead for the Boywatchers and their families...By turns touching and hilarious, this is another fabulous story of friendship, fun and boys that fans of GEEK GIRL will adore.
Up Close & Personal
by Ana Holguin"Charming, witty, and tender" Abby Jimenez, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Just for the Summer A jaded journalist challenges a celebrity fitness instructor to prove her job isn't a scam in this swoony, sizzling rom-com for fans of 27 Dresses and Jessica Joyce. Jo De La Cruz should be on top of the world. As one of spin&’s hottest instructors, her workouts stream into thousands of living rooms, her waiting list is harder to access than Area 51, and even her hair has its own social media page. But Jo&’s struggling from a decade in the spotlight—which is when she meets the annoyingly handsome journalist who claims her job is just yelling at people from a bike. Converting a hater is a challenge Jo can&’t resist. Only nothing about Silas Anders matches her expectations. He throws himself into her classes, he&’s genuinely interested in Jo&’s hobbies, and—most surprising of all—he knows what it&’s like to struggle with mental health. Between all-you-can-eat-diner lunches, thrifting adventures, and sizzling summer nights, Jo might even be catching feelings. But as buzz for the article skyrockets, Jo discovers that the man she&’s been falling for may, in fact, be the one scamming her. Will trusting him break her heart—or lead to a love worth riding for?