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When We Were Vikings
by Andrew David MacDonaldIndie Next Pick for February 2020 Book of the Month January 2020 LibraryReads January 2020 Pick Bookreporter New Release Spotlight New York Post &“Best Books of the Week&” Goodreads &“January&’s Most Anticipated New Books&” The Saturday Evening Post &“10 Books for the New Year&” PopSugar &“Best Books in January&” Book Riot Best Winter New Releases &“Zelda is a marvel, a living, breathing three-dimensional character with a voice so distinctive she leaps off the page.&” —The New York Times &“Heartwarming and unforgettable.&” —PeopleFor Zelda, a twenty-one-year-old Viking enthusiast who lives with her older brother, Gert, life is best lived with some basic rules: 1. A smile means &“thank you for doing something small that I liked.&” 2. Fist bumps and dabs = respect. 3. Strange people are not appreciated in her home. 4. Tomatoes must go in the middle of the sandwich and not get the bread wet. 5. Sometimes the most important things don&’t fit on lists. But when Zelda finds out that Gert has resorted to some questionable—and dangerous—methods to make enough money to keep them afloat, Zelda decides to launch her own quest. Her mission: to be legendary. It isn&’t long before Zelda finds herself in a battle that tests the reach of her heroism, her love for her brother, and the depth of her Viking strength. &“A most welcome and wonderful debut&” (Tyrell Johnson, author of The Wolves of Winter), When We Were Vikings is an uplifting debut about an unlikely heroine whose journey will leave you wanting to embark on a quest of your own, because after all...we are all legends of our own making.
When We Were Vikings
by Andrew MacDonaldSometimes life isn’t as simple as heroes and villains. For Zelda, a twenty-one-year-old Viking enthusiast who lives with her older brother, Gert, life is best lived with some basic rules: 1. A smile means “thank you for doing something small that I liked.” 2. Fist bumps and dabs = respect. 3. Strange people are not appreciated in her home. 4. Tomatoes must go in the middle of the sandwich and not get the bread wet. 5. Sometimes the most important things don’t fit on lists. But when Zelda finds out that Gert has resorted to some questionable—and dangerous—methods to make enough money to keep them afloat, Zelda decides to launch her own quest. Her mission: to be legendary. It isn’t long before Zelda finds herself in a battle that tests the reach of her heroism, her love for her brother, and the depth of her Viking strength. When We Were Vikings is an uplifting debut about an unlikely heroine whose journey will leave you wanting to embark on a quest of your own, because after all... We are all legends of our own making.
When We Were Young
by Richard Roper'Such a warm, uplifting read. It's a celebration of the bond we have with our oldest friends, and it's so funny' Beth O'Leary'A brilliant, funny, insightful exploration of friendship, which properly made me laugh and cry' Laura Marshall---------Theo has been living in his parents' shed, nursing a broken heart and a wounded ego, convinced life can't get any worse. Then he gets evicted on his 30th birthday. Theo thinks he's done with the real world - until it shows up on his doorstep...Joel is a successful TV scriptwriter, still in love with his teenage sweetheart. A proper grown-up - and yet he's falling apart at the seams. He's headed home to reconnect with best friend Theo - except they haven't spoken since the summer they turned 16.One of them is keeping a secret, and the other is living a lie. But can the promise they once made to walk all 184 miles of the Thames Path help them find their way back to the truth - and to their friendship?A tender and funny story about wanting to go back - when you know it's time to move on.---------'An uplifting and redemptive journey' Steven Rowley'A beautifully bittersweet tale about the enduring power of friendship, reminding us how sometimes the best way to face life's biggest challenges is to take them one step at a time with your best friend by your side' Oliver Sands'An absorbing and heartfelt tale of past mistakes and friendship lost but never forgotten. A joyful summer read' Owen Nicholls---------Your favourite authors loved reading Richard Roper's uplifting first novel, Something to Live For:'A magnificent read. Tender, funny, compelling' Lucy Foley'Funny, moving and thought-provoking - I loved this' Clare Mackintosh'I adored this! It warmed my heart, broke it a little, then put it back together' Beth O'Leary'Funny, fresh and achingly tender. Richard's writing hooked me in from the very first page' Cathy Bramley'A life-affirming novel that simultaneously tweaks your funny-bone and tugs at your heartstrings. Brilliant!' Matt Dunn'It pulls you in, makes you laugh and breaks your heart' Gill Hornby
When Werewolves Attack: A Guide to Dispatching Ravenous Flesh-Ripping Beasts
by Del Howison&“Without a doubt the ultimate guide to werewolves&”—and survival tips for when the snarling shapeshifters go on the prowl (HorrorNews.net). The history of lycanthropes stretches back to man&’s beginnings. From cave drawings and tribal folklore to the Inquisition and the twentieth century, man&’s fascination with werewolves has never wavered. The field of study has been ripped wide open with new information uncovered daily. Now there is finally a book that covers all the diverse elements of these cursed but greatly misunderstood creatures. From the bloodstained history of Europe and into the New World, especially the United States, these creatures have been documented like no other. But there is also a need for practical information. When Werewolves Attack supplies just that type of insight. How do you detect a werewolf when they are in human form? What if a family member is a werewolf? How do you defend yourself from an attack, in terms of weaponry and fortification, whether you are inside or out in the woods? How do you escape from an attack of savage lycanthropes? Don&’t be caught flat-footed again. This is the field guide everybody needs to protect themselves and their family.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
by George CarlinA riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comic observers.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?: An Orgy Of George Including Brain Droppings, Napalm And Silly Putty, And When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
by George CarlinOn the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?--infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations.Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe!Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm.The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more.In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.
When You Are Engulfed In Flames
by David SedarisDavid Sedaris's remarkable ability to uncover the hilarious absurdity teeming just below the surface of everyday life is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this new book of stories.Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life - the etiquette of having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger or how to soundproof your windows with LP covers against neurotic songbirds - to the most deeply resonant human truths. Taking in the parasitic worm that once lived in his mother-in-law's leg, an encounter with a dingo and the purchase of a human skeleton, and culminating in a brilliant account of his attempt to quit smoking - in Tokyo - David Sedaris's sixth story collection is a fresh masterpiece of comic writing.
When You Are Engulfed In Flames
by David SedarisDavid Sedaris's remarkable ability to uncover the hilarious absurdity teeming just below the surface of everyday life is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this new book of stories.Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life - the etiquette of having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger or how to soundproof your windows with LP covers against neurotic songbirds - to the most deeply resonant human truths. Taking in the parasitic worm that once lived in his mother-in-law's leg, an encounter with a dingo and the purchase of a human skeleton, and culminating in a brilliant account of his attempt to quit smoking - in Tokyo - David Sedaris's sixth story collection is a fresh masterpiece of comic writing.
When You Are Engulfed in Flames
by David SedarisEssays by Sedaris on a variety of subjects including a parasitic worm that once lived in his mother-in-law's leg, an encounter with a dingo, the recreational use of an external catheter, buying a human skeleton, and trying to quit smoking in Japan. Sedaris describes the events in his essays as "realish".
When You Are Engulfed in Flames
by David SedarisTrying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths.
When You Find Out the World Is Against You: And Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments
by Kelly Oxford“Kelly is part geek, part freak. When You Find Out The World Is Against You shows us ourselves: our sensitivities, our awkward moments, our strange desires. She takes us through summer camp, dating, rape culture, Trump, death . . . Kelly Oxford c’est moi.” — James Franco“Two things I’m grateful for: how imperfect Kelly Oxford is at life and decision-making, and how terrific she is at writing about what a goddamn mess she is.” — Patton Oswalt“Kelly Oxford’s writing is hilarious and fearless. She’s the badass Canadian sister I never had.” — Mindy Kaling“I have worshipped the mind of Kelly Oxford for eons. Kelly Oxford’s concise, whip-smart observations feel eerily universal. When You Find Out the World is Against You shows that there is something to be learned from even the most absurd or devastating moments of life.” — Jill Soloway“Kelly Oxford is a beautiful writer. She finds beauty in the mundane and humor in everyday eccentricities. She is our present-day, funny Joan Didion.” — Gia Coppola
When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror
by Carol LeiferStand-up comic and comedy writer Carol Leifer faced a critical dilemma and had only two options: either continue sharing her greatest childhood memory (seeing the Beatles at Shea Stadium in 1966) or lie about her age. But the choice soon became clear: "I see now that when you deny your age, you deny yourself, and when you lie about your age, you become your inauthentic twin. But most important, when you lie about your age, they win. (And of course by 'they,' I mean the terrorists)." Now, in this uproarious book, Leifer reveals all--her age, her outlook, her life philosophy--no holds barred.
When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home
by Erma BombeckThe popular humorist offers tips and truisms on travel, discussing oddly named food, Asian bus drivers in Germany, plumbing around the world, and more.
When You Read This: 'Deeply moving but also uplifting, Mary Adkins' debut novel is easy to read but hard to forget' - Anne Youngson
by Mary Adkins'Deeply moving but also uplifting' Anne Youngson, author of Meet Me at the MuseumFor four years, Iris Massey worked side by side with PR maven Smith Simonyi, helping clients perfect their brands. But Iris has died, taken by terminal illness at only thirty-three. Adrift without his friend and colleague, Smith is surprised to discover that in her last six months, Iris created a blog filled with sharp and often funny musings on the end of a life not quite fulfilled. She also made one final request: for Smith to get her posts published as a book. With the help of his charmingly eager, if overbearingly forthright, new intern Carl, Smith tackles the task of fulfilling Iris's last wish. Before he can do so, though, he must get the approval of Iris's big sister Jade, an haute cuisine chef who's been knocked sideways by her loss. Each carrying their own baggage, Smith and Jade end up on a collision course with their own unresolved pasts and with each other. Funny and moving in equal measures, When You Read This is a sparkling debut about love, life, and all the emails you really wish you'd never sent.Praise for When You Read This:'Thought-provoking, tear-jerking, funny - and [with] a delectable literary twist' Refinery29 'A touching, funny and life-affirming tale' Publishers Weekly'As with Maria Semple's Where'd You Go Bernadette, Adkins's debut novel is so much more than its clever style . . . [it] feels miraculous and leaves a lasting impression long after its final moment' Val Emmich, author of The Reminders'This gentle tragicomedy . . . deals sensitively with loss' Daily MailWhat reviewers have said about When You Read This:'A marvellous, funny, poignant and uplifting book . . . I hope you enjoy it as much as I did''I could not put it down . . . a very original and emotional read''What a delight this book is! . . . touched my heart and made me laugh''I read it in a single sitting, enjoying every minute of it''This book is a treasure. Every character is so full and unforgettable. Sad and funny and hopeful'
When You Read This: 'Deeply moving but also uplifting, Mary Adkins' debut novel is easy to read but hard to forget' - Anne Youngson
by Mary AdkinsWHEN YOU READ THIS is a warm, heart-breaker of a novel, and just as you think you might be on the verge of tears, it will tip you over into laughter instead.On his first day of work at a struggling brand management firm, an ambitious intern discovers a blog created by his predecessor, Iris Massey. Iris, he quickly learns, died a few months earlier, leaving a hole in the life of the firm's morose boss, Smith. Now, stuck at his desk all day, Carl-the-Intern - whose sky-high aspirations are thwarted only by Smith's sluggishness - gets hooked on Iris's blog, and the stories she tells about the life she left behind. Determined to share her story, Carl and Smith soon track down Iris' sister Jade, an haute cuisine chef who's been knocked sideways by her loss, finding solace only in potato chips and red wine. Smith and Jade, tied together by their mutual grief and each carrying their own baggage, end up on a collision course: with their own unresolved pasts, and also with each other. Funny and moving in equal measures, WHEN YOU READ THIS is a sparkling debut about love, life, and all the emails you really wish you'd never sent.(P)2019 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism
by Bill MaherPolitical provocateur Bill Maher tells it like it is in a useful and hilarious guide for the many Americans who want to do more here at home to help the war effort, but are at a loss as to what. Thirty-three dynamic posters and several classics from our government's archive— accompanied by text from one of our leading pundits and cutting-edge comedians— make this the perfect book for this time in our nation's history, the zeitgeist of post-9/11 America. This is the book that will help Americans make the connections between what we do and how it can help our troops and ourselves.
When You Wish Upon A Duke: Wylder Sisters Book 1 (Wylder Sisters)
by Isabella BradfordLose your heart in this sparkling and enchanting romance, the first in the Wylder sisters series from award-winning author Isabella Bradford. Raised in the countryside, Lady Charlotte Wylder doesn't care one bit about decorum. So when the dark-haired beauty learns that she is to leave for London to wed the Duke of Marchbourne, a perfect model of aristocratic propriety, she is less than enchanted. But to her delight, their first encounters are brazenly flirtatious, and their wedding night burns with passion; Charlotte may even be falling in love with her new husband. Yet whenever their desire boils over, March pushes Charlotte away. Will past secrets and present misunderstandings mire their marriage in scandal, or serve to strengthen a bond to last a lifetime?Meet the other Wylder Sisters in Books Two and Three in the series, When The Duchess Said Yes, and When The Duke Found Love. And check out Isabella's Breconridge Brothers series for more exquisite historical romance.
When You Wish Upon a Lantern
by Gloria ChaoAcclaimed author Gloria Chao creates real-world magic in this luminous romance about teens who devote themselves to granting other people's wishes but are too afraid to let themselves have their own hearts' desires—each other.Liya and Kai had been best friends since they were little kids, but all that changed when a humiliating incident sparked The Biggest Misunderstanding of All Time—and they haven&’t spoken since.Then Liya discovers her family's wishing lantern store is struggling, and she decides to resume a tradition she had with her beloved late grandmother: secretly fulfilling the wishes people write on the lanterns they send into the sky. It may boost sales and save the store, but she can't do it alone . . . and Kai is the only one who cares enough to help.While working on their covert missions, Liya and Kai rekindle their friendship—and maybe more. But when their feuding families and changing futures threaten to tear them apart again, can they find a way to make their own wishes come true?
When a Man Marries
by Mary Roberts RinehartA young artist, recently divorced by his wife, finds that his aunt is soon to visit. The aunt, who contributes to the family income and who has never seen the wife, knows nothing of the domestic upheaval. How the young man meets the situation is humorously and most entertainingly told.
When a Wolf Is Hungry
by Christine Naumann-VilleminALA Youth Media Awards: 2018 Batchelder Honor Award WinnerA darkly humorous tale with a twist ending Edmond Bigsnout, lone wolf that he is, loves his solitary cabin in the woods. But lately he's been craving urban rabbit for dinner, so he travels into the city to catch one. Unfortunately, the rabbit has a lot of neighbors—who mistake Edmond for a kind and helpful resident! Perhaps Edmond can become a good neighbor, despite his bad intentions. Readers of all ages will devour this story about a wolf who decides that if you can't eat them, join them.Kirkus Best Picture Books of 2017 Cooperative Children's Book Center&’s "CCBC Choices 2018&”
When an Alien Meets a Swamp Monster
by Cornelius Van WrightCould two little boys who scare each other silly ever become friends?When Alik and Boi accidentally bump into each other at the pond, they aren’t exactly thrilled. In fact, they’re terrified! Boi thinks Alik is a swamp monster, and Alik thinks Boi is a space alien. Both run home in a panic to share their news, but their families don’t believe them. If only Alik and Boi can drum up the courage to venture back outside, they just might cross paths again and realize how much they have in common.With an encouraging message about second chances and looking past appearances, this delightfully absurd story about two very different-looking adventurers is full of laugh-out-loud, action-packed fun. It’s perfect for fans of funny books like Shark vs. Train and Children Make Terrible Pets.
When in Bruges
by Nic SaintWhen Kate Harper enjoyed a whirlwind affair with Chris Van Damme in New York, and was subsequently dumped by him, she never expected to see the guy again. Months later, Kate flies to Bruges, a medieval fairytale town in Belgium, to ask her dad, mayor of Bruges, to attend her wedding. Checking into the Bouquets & Nosegays inn, she isn’t too well pleased when she runs into Chris again. <P><P>When Chris Van Damme’s dad, candidate in the upcoming mayoral elections, asks him to look into a case of blackmail he’s involved in, Chris never expected to run into Kate Harper, the girl who stole and broke his heart in New York only a couple of months ago. <P><P>Things take a turn for the unexpected when Kate is hired by her dad to investigate the same blackmail affair. Turns out both Chris and Kate’s dads are being targeted by the same blackmailer. Now Kate and Chris are forced to work together to catch the guy before he can execute his plans, which might even extend to murder… <P><P>Before long, both Kate and Chris are sorely tempted to take their working relationship to a more personal level once again. And when Kate’s fiancé unexpectedly shows up, things become pretty complicated for the two former lovers… <P><P>When in Bruges is a cozy romantic mystery set against the backdrop of Bruges, Venice of the North and one of Europe’s most romantic cities.
When in Doubt, Play Dead: Life Advice from an Unexpected Source
by Ally BurguieresFeaturing 70 watercolor illustrations, this totally adorable gift of a book offers wisdom and insight from a delightfully unexpected source: the opossum.Shy, resourceful, and deeply misunderstood yet thoroughly relatable, opossums offer a model for seeing the world—and oneself—in an entirely fresh way. Written and illustrated by Ally Burguieres, creator of the popular Instagram account @ItsMeSesame, who spends her days as a wildlife rehabber caring for and learning from opossums, When in Doubt, Play Dead offers encouragement to embrace life&’s weird, wild, and wonderful moments.Learn to live your life the opossum way with advice including the following. The difference between a weed and a flower is often a matter of taste.It&’s nobody&’s business what&’s in your pouch. Unless you&’ve got snacks in there. In which case, you should share.A bit of risk is part of life. Cross that street, but ALWAYS look both ways beforehand.Smile! Unless someone tells you to, in which case you are well within your rights to scream.And more.With kindness and humor, this enchanting book of life advice will surprise, inspire, and charm you.
When in French: Love in a Second Language
by Lauren CollinsA language barrier is no match for love. Lauren Collins discovered this firsthand when, in her early thirties, she moved to London and fell for a Frenchman named Olivier--a surprising turn of events for someone who didn't have a passport until she was in college. But what does it mean to love someone in a second language? Collins wonders, as her relationship with Olivier continues to grow entirely in English. Are there things she doesn't understand about Olivier, having never spoken to him in his native tongue? Does "I love you" even mean the same thing as "je t'aime"? When the couple, newly married, relocates to Francophone Geneva, Collins--fearful of one day becoming "a Borat of a mother" who doesn't understand her own kids--decides to answer her questions for herself by learning French. When in French is a laugh-out-loud funny and surprising memoir about the lengths we go to for love, as well as an exploration across culture and history into how we learn languages--and what they say about who we are. Collins grapples with the complexities of the French language, enduring excruciating role-playing games with her classmates at a Swiss language school and accidently telling her mother-in-law that she's given birth to a coffee machine. In learning French, Collins must wrestle with the very nature of French identity and society--which, it turns out, is a far cry from life back home in North Carolina. Plumbing the mysterious depths of humanity's many forms of language, Collins describes with great style and wicked humor the frustrations, embarrassments, surprises, and, finally, joys of learning--and living in--French.From the Hardcover edition.
When in Rome...: A Novel
by Gemma TownleyWhen in Rome, do as Audrey Hepburn would do. Failing that, run off with your ex-boyfriend, carry suspicious packages through customs, and lie to the person who loves you. . . .Georgie Beauchamp is totally happy and in love with her wonderful, dependable boyfriend, David. So why does she always daydream about running into her gorgeous ex-boyfriend Mike? It can’t mean she’s still in love with him—especially since the cad dumped her so horribly. As luck would have it, when Georgie’s daydream actually comes true, she is dressed in unglamorous sweats and carrying a curtain rod down the street, while Mike is driving an expensive sports car and looking better than Brad Pitt at the Oscars. She longs to have the glamorous life Mike can offer—and starts to think that he might want her back in his arms.But when he invites her for a weekend in Rome, Georgie is torn. David has always said he’d take her there for the romantic getaway of a lifetime, but his work keeps him totally tied up. So she must choose: David, all comfort and reliability, or Mike, all flirtation and butterfly-stomachs. The decision isn’t too hard to make, and faster than she can say Vespa, she’s off to Rome with Mike, full of plans to frolic on the Spanish Steps and sip wine in intimate trattorias. But when David shows up unexpectedly, this roman holiday gets a hell of a lot more complicated. . . .